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The JTrain Podcast
Birthday Cake, Laundry Bags, and Guys who can't make a date - TICKED OFF TUESDAY - The JTrain Podcast w Jared Freid
00:26:14
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- [00:00]
Uncle J Train
I know you're angry. It's Tuesday and it has no feel. The weekend was fun. You're still hungover from the eating and next weekend is too far away. What will you do with your day? It's time to get ticked off. Complain with your gripe. Right now your friend Uncle J Train is here to tell you that you're right. It's a ticked off Tuesday. Ticked off Tuesday. You're angry and you don't even know why. Enjoy this podcast. It'll help you get to Friday.
- [01:08]
Jared Freed
Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Sydney, Australia. That's right, every Tuesday is a ticked off Tuesday. Are you mad? Are you angry? Do you got a complaint? Send it in to Ticked off Tuesday. You can either send it in by emailing j train podcast.com or you can DM the J train Instagram account at J Train Podcast. But if you want dibs. If you want the first chance to get your complaint read on this show, sign up for patreon patreon.com Jared Freed then you comment on Coffee with J Train with your complaint and we get to it first. Today I have three complaints. Four complaints, all from Patreon subscribers. So they got it. They're in. When we get Patreon subscriber complaints, we skip the mailbag. So you gotta sign up patreon.com jaredfree that also gets you coffee with J Train, where I do a podcast every Friday with basically my diary. So I'm in Australia, I'm telling stories from Australia. So this week I'll have a lot to talk about. Last week when? Almost an hour. Excuse me, I don't have a cough button. Got a little frog in my throat. A little froggish here. Listen. And if you're in Brisbane, Adelaide, Newcastle, this comes out. This will come out after Newcastle. So that is over. But if you came to the Sydney Melbourne show, such a fun time. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Morristown, New Jersey's sold out. Or Morris Plains, New Jersey is sold out. Nashville. I'm doing a week of shows. They're kind of like these new, new material type shows. And then Rochester, it'll be new material. Fun, fun, fun. Assemble the group chat. Jared Free dot com. Let's get into ticked off Tuesday. I'm going to get into my complaint. We have one sponsor today. We'll get to it. We'll do my complaints, the sponsor, then the listener complaints. Here's my complaint. Okay. I am in Sydney. I want you to do me A favor. A couple favors. One, subscribe to the YouTube channel. I just put up 11 minutes of crowd work on YouTube. Ah, this frog. Okay, just took a sip of water. We should be a. Okay. I don't want to restart this, but sometimes I'll start and then if I cough a lot, I'll restart. There's no. No, you're getting the. You're getting pure J train right now right off the vine. So I listen. So I want you to subscribe to the YouTube channel because I'm putting up crowd work every Saturday. Yeah. It costs me money to put up these videos every week. And it's an effort. It's an investment in growing the YouTube. Part of that investment is trusting that the audience, you, the listener, will go to YouTube and comment, like, subscribe. All those little touches that cost you nothing, that mean the world to me. So I would love for you to do that. Now. What I also want you to do is follow over the Moon Vacations. Over the Moon Vacations has put together my whole trip. They put together my Europe tour and this Australia, New Zealand tour and my original trip to Sofra that I came back from where I was in the south of France. And I'm actually talking about that trip on stage now. That's my new material. I love what they do. I love a travel agent. I think the new form of a travel agent is fantastic. I don't think that travel agents in general have done a great job of telling people how they are used. In 2025, anytime I mentioned a travel agent, I've talked about it. Here. Women get judgy. It's as if you're, you know, you're talking about the, the, the. The. The. You know, the. The prostitute you pay for. They're like, you can't do it yourself. And it's like, no, most people. And I know you don't want to admit this. This is. I think women with travel agents are like men with financial advisors. Men are like, I make the money. I. I'll invest the money. Women are like, I know trips, and I know what fine dining is, and I give the suggestions. I'm asking you to realize that your first job is your first job and you don't know shit about where to go on vacation in Australia. All the googling you can do, maybe it makes you feel good, but. And what people don't trust is that a travel agent is going to do the best for them. You gotta give. You gotta give some trust there. You have to say, well, I want. If you want to Stay in a bungalow out in the woods. There's a travel agent that can find that for you. So this is my pit again. I should be the spokesperson for travel agents in 2025. But okay, so this is me telling you over the moon, they have done a fantastic job for me. They're caring, they're loving, they're all. And here's my ticked off Tuesday. They're too loving. It's my. It was my birthday on February 21st. I arrived in New Zealand to this big cake on the table with a note. Happy birthday. Pictures of me alone. There was literally three pictures of me with my phone alone. It was kind of sad. If you. If you looked at it from the wrong angle, you'd be like, so he has nobody. Like, so it was three pictures of me alone on my phone. And then it was like a champagne bottle with two glasses, but I'm just me. And then there was like a big. A little cake. A little like, not. It's like a slice of cake. Happy birthday, Jared. Fine. Okay. I got there, my birthday. That makes sense. Then I go to Melbourne. I get to the room and on the table another cake. Happy birthday. Welcome to Melbourne. Okay. And then a bottle of wine. Okay, I'm not gonna drink the wine. I'm not gonna have this cake at this point. I'm going, okay, this cake is taking up space. I want to put my stuff down. I want to put the computer out on the desk. I want to thank you for that. But then you have to be appreciative. Then I get to Sydney, another cake on the table. On the table I am sitting at right now. I have to move it. There's a happy birthday, Jared. It's like, enough about the birthday. A bottle of wine, two glasses. Again, I'm reminded that I have nobody. I don't have anyone to share it with. And. And again, if it's in the room when you get there. And here's the problem. Like here in Sydney, I'm staying at this very nice hotel. It's called Capella. You can go look it up. It's beautiful. Probably one of the best hotels I have stayed in. And this is chosen by the travel agents over the moon, which I appreciate them and I asked for high end hotels. This isn't them saying, oh, we'll get them an expensive hotel. I asked for this. When you check in here, the woman brings you upstairs, or the person that's at the desk, they like literally bring you up to your room. So they bring me up to the room and they're like. And literally they open the door and there's the cake with the balloon. There were balloons and the note. And the woman that checked me in, she's looking at me like, see? Look at what we've done. Happy. How exciting. Isn't that? Aren't you happy? And I'm looking at it, the minute I saw the cake, I'm like, ah, fuck, another cake. And she's like, what? Is it not your birthday? And I'm like, yeah, it's my birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. And I'm like, I just look unappreciative. But I've had. There's. This is the third cake on the tour. So then I wake up this morning, I did the Today show in Australia. It was so much fun. They couldn't have been nicer. I'll put out the clip. I'll put out the whole segment on my YouTube. That's why you subscribe. And I wake up this morning, so I have an early breakfast. I have my coffee and then I'm in the middle of breakfast. The woman, the waitress comes over. She goes, is it your birthday? And listen, it is now March 3, the day of taping. We are past a week past the birthday, okay? It is not my birthday anymore. It is not. I'm 40. I'm. I'm well into 40. I'm in my 40s. Is it your birthday? And I go, no, no, it isn't. She's like, are you sure? And then I'm like, well, I guess, kind of. And then she shows me a cupcake. She's like, with it. And it says happy Birthday. I'm like, okay. And listen, I don't know if that's from over the moon, but like, as the travel agent, they should say like one and done. Like, I don't need, like, you know what it feels like. There's a movie called the Heartbreak Kid with Ben Stiller where like there's a mariachi band that just like keep following around. And it's like he, he's literally like having these serious moments. And also the mariachi band is like. And he's freaking out. Like, it's like just annoying him. That's what these cakes are like. I, I'm at breakfast, I'm having hard boiled eggs with salt and pepper and hot sauce so that I can keep myself regular while being here. Please do not bring a cupcake over. Like, I'm gonna eat it at 8:30 in the morning. That's my complaint. And again, it's hard because this is a critique this is a note not to say listen, there are people listening. They might go, jared, you fucking asshole, look how nice it is. They care about having a cake for you everywhere you go. Maybe if I was with a partner, if someone was with me, we'd love the cakes. I don't know. Also, I'm traveling. And when you travel you get waste. And the waste being cakes. One, but also my laundry. Now when I have laundry at a hotel, sometimes it gives you like some luggage, has that like laundry bag. I didn't bring that luggage with me. I brought different luggage that doesn't have the laundry bag. So I was kind of counting on the plastic bag in the hotel closet. You know that plastic bag that you can send out for laundry. But then I use it to like. And I'm sure you do this too, to like, put together all my dirty laundry. I'm saying these places that are so nice, they don't have plastic bags. They only have cloth bags. So now I have this like, pile of dirty laundry. I'm looking at it right now that I have to like pack in my suitcase with my clean stuff. And it just kind of grosses me out. Like, and I, I guess I could call down and be like, hey, do you got a plastic bag? But they'll put here. They're so weird about garbage. There's no garbage cans. It. It seems as though again, like, they're not doing. I'm, I'm drinking from a water bottle that's like tin. Like, I just want. I'm going to call down for that plastic bag. Okay, let's get to the listener complaints. Jtrain podcast.com or sign up for the Patreon. Patreon.com Jared Freed. We're sponsored. Want to pack in the bread without packing on the pounds? Herobred here to save the day. Herobred makes delicious bread with ultra low net carbs, zero grams of sugar, tons of fiber. Put that bacon, egg and cheese on a 4 gram net carb bagel or enjoy a cheese and herb croissant roll with some jam. Whatever kind of bread you're craving, Herobread's version is going to taste amazing. And never like diet food. I will tell you this. I love Herobred. It's about efficiency. You want bread and you want the better bread. The one that's going to keep you fuller, longer. The one that's going to be less in carbs. The one that's just going to do you better. And you're not gonna taste the difference. You're gonna go, oh, this Is pretty damn good too. It's gonna have the crunch, it's gonna have the feel, it's gonna have the taste. It's in my freezer right now. These bagels are wonderful. They're great. And it gets you there. Especially if you're trying. If you're, like, trying. If you're just saying, I just wanna be a little bit better than I was last year. Herobred is that little tiny inch that gets you there. Herobread brings you all the flavor with none of the compromises. HeroBread is offering 10% off your order. That's 10, 10. 10% off your order. Go to HERO CO. Use code J train at checkout. That's J train at Hero Co. Okay, let's go to the listener complaints. This is Ticked Off Tuesday. Remember, I haven't read these complaints yet, but, you know, sometimes I see some feedback to the complaints. This is the home of complaining. This is where you go with a complaint you could do nowhere else. So if you're sitting there going, who could I tell? You can do it, because here's the game. I will complain with you. I just complained about getting cake on my birthday week. Okay? I think you can complain about anything you want. Here, Jared. Happy birthday. Okay, the birthday's over. No kidding. Thank you. This is for Ticked Off Tuesday complaint and questions. I would very much appreciate your advice. Okay, so we got a hybrid. There's a guy I know through a mutual acquaintance, but we have not yet met in person. He's been flirting with me on phone calls and texts for about a month. I get shy with guys, but decided to shoot my shot and asked him out for coffee. During the phone call, he said yes, and I thought we were going. Things were going well until he added additional comments. He said, I sometimes forget to make plans, so please ask me again. That turned me off. Yeah, that turns me off, too. I don't buy it. I just asked him out. He could have set up a date right then. Also, I had suggested meeting in Manhattan because it's a midway point from where we each of us live. He changed the conversation to meeting in his neighborhood. Questions. If he liked me, would he put in some effort, like giving me a date and time for coffee and be willing to meet in the middle? Here's your problem. And I know this is more question than it is complaint. The complaint is, I put myself out there and it's like, you kind. You evaded my question. This is annoying. Hey, I would love to go out with you. Yeah, but sometimes I forget. So just remind Me? It's like, no, no, no. I'm not trying to make appointment with the CEO of a company. You and I are even. I am saying I am now breaking this flirt to be vulnerable, to say, I would like to meet you in person. It's already weird. Can I just give you feedback? It's already weird. You know a guy through a mutual acquaintance but have not yet met in person. And you've been flirty with me over the phone and calls for about a month. How did that start? How have you. What. What's been going on this month? What is the. What's the excuse been. How did you start talking? So these are all questions you should ask that. I'm not saying you're wrong. Like, I don't want to make you feel bad for being a month into talking to someone you've never met. But, like, how did we get here? This shouldn't confuse you. This is. You are a adult who has the ability to write into this show and be. And. And you listen to this show. So I believe we are of the same intellect. I'm not smarter than you. You're not smarter than me. So you've been doing this a month with someone. This all didn't happen by accident. Okay? This happened because one of you did not want to meet. And I am going to say you have already opened and exposed yourself to saying, I want to meet. He does not want to meet. Now you have broken this down to. He changed the conversation. Meeting in his neighborhood, questions if he liked me. No, no, no, no, no. Stop thinking in those terms. He.
- [15:35]
Uncle J Train
He.
- [15:35]
Jared Freed
He thinks you're attractive, and that's it. He thinks you're attractive, liked you, not liked you. Would he do this if he liked me more? No. Something is going on. He is maybe seeing someone else. We have a finite amount of time. Time is a very valuable resource. If you're dating one person, you have less time for the second person. So I would assume that this person is dating someone that he's not sure about and he's still attracted to you, so he's keeping you on the line for when maybe that thing doesn't work out. That would be my assumption. Should I ask him again since he claims to be forgetful? No. If I were you, should I agree to meet him in his neighborhood or keep asking to meet in Manhattan? You wouldn't care about the neighborhood thing if this guy was being. If this guy was responding in a way that turned you on. Let's start thinking of turned off. Turned on. And you've Already said that. That turned me off. Please ask me again. Set something up with my assistant so that I don't forget. No, I just asked you to go out. If you want to, the offer's there. It can go away. Should I agree to meet him in his neighborhood or keep asking him to meet in Manhattan, which is midway? I think you're into this midway thing because you don't feel that he is giving you what you're giving him. And I don't think you're. You're stuck on that. If I travel to him on the first day, will he always expect me to travel to him? No, no, no, no. Cut the. Cut all this shit out. You've been talking to this person a month. You said, hey, I'd like to get together. You know, you said things were, hey, I got shy with guys. Besides, shoot my shot. Asked him to go for coffee during a call. He said yes, and I thought things were going well until he added additional comments. No, no, no. I would send a text, Hey, I think we got to stop talking because I asked you out, and then you made it my job to try and wrangle you to go out. I'm turned off by that behavior. Good luck with everything. This guy and then goodbye. Now he has your number. He knows you want to go out. He either makes that plan or not at that point. Now, if he comes back, you reassess. How do you feel? Turned on, Turned off by his behavior? I think you're too into. Does he like me? Would he stop thinking. And I'm annoyed at your email because I've talked about this to no ends. Am I turned off by this behavior? Am I turned on by this behavior? Stick to that. Not. Well, does he like me enough to go. No, no. His feelings do not matter. It's your feelings. Well, if he won't meet me, then. No, no, no. I've made it clear I'd like to get coffee. So I would send a breakup text of sorts. A breakup text with redemption options. Hey, I asked you for coffee. You said yes. And then you made it my job to make a coffee plan with you. You have my number. And if you ever want to make a plan, you know, maybe we can go out then. But for now, I'm just going to back away from this. And I can't talk to you on the phone anymore. J Train podcast at gmail dot com. Ticked off Tuesday. Happy belated birthday. Can't wait to hear about your travels abroad. Thank you. I would like to submit a ticked off Tuesday. Last week My community orchestra, I play in as a volunteer, had access to a beautiful new venue for our second concert that we have never played in before. Usually we play in an old auditorium of a local middle school. Well, that's exciting. I can understand why a new venue would be exciting. This time we had the opportunity to play in a brand new auditorium of a wealthy university in the area. Beautiful. I was thrilled, but all anyone could talk about is that we had to pay $5 to park. I'm sorry, but do you have no joy in your life? I'd rather pay $5 to park and play in a spectacular venue than $0 at the old middle school with a rattling air conditioning. Rattling air conditioner. As a performer, I hope you can relate to my frustration though I am an amateur and you are the professional. No, no, no. You are. You're a performer. We are performers. Look forward to hearing your thoughts. I am with you. It's also like, come or don't come. The $5 fee. It is frustrating because let me first say, you guys are performing at their venue. They should be happy to have you. I'm sure you're performing maybe at night. Why is there a $5 fee to park? That seems. It does seem ridiculous. Here's the other thing I don't. You're preaching to literally the choir when you say we all had to pay five bucks. So this complaint where now you have, like, what I'm with you is don't yuck my yum. I am so excited to play this new venue. We are all excited to be here. And sometimes there's this thing where it's like, the complaint is the brag. Like, it's like when they, oh, can you believe $5? Like, and if you don't have a problem with it, you are somehow frivolous and don't care about money. You're somehow some rich royalty if you don't care about the five bucks. That's what I don't like. It's like, the more someone talks about it, the more it's like, okay, enough already. There's nothing we can do. Am I. And I would feel. And I'm not sure if you feel this way. My complaint to add on to yours is like, there's gonna be this person that's like, ugh, can you believe we have to spend $5 to be here? Oh, my God. Who has $5 in this economy? And you're sitting there like, well, I was kind of excited. Like, they're just making you feel bad for even not caring about the $5. All of a sudden they're like this better person because $5 means something to them and it didn't mean as much to you. This was worth it to you. Now, the other thing is, you're in a volunteer choir. If it's not worth it to you, you can also not play. Hey, $5 is too much for me. I can't do the choir this week. I can't do the orchestra. Now I do understand why that's annoying. Because it's like, hey, why are we spending any money at all? But it's all on how it's put in front of you. Is it done up front? Hey, we're gonna do this brand spanking new venue. It's gonna cost $5, but we get to play in this huge venue. Was it put up to a vote? Was it. Was it discussed before that that I could understand from someone's point of view? They go, we didn't even get asked. Like, I could. I could complain on the other side of this as much as I can complain on your side. On your side. I don't need to hear how annoying the $5 is because I'm spending it too, and I was happy to spend it. So now I have to feel like an un. Like. Like that I don't care about money because you get to, like, elevate yourself by being the person who complains that it's $5 to park. Yeah, I'm annoyed for you. I hope the venue is beautiful and fun. I do agree. When you're in a cool venue, you feel good. It feels great. It's fun. The acoustics, I mean, I just performed in Cindy last night. Sydney. This everyone said, oh, the Comedy Store in Sydney's great. The way it's laid out is perfect. And I would agree it was a great layout for a comedy show. Here's another one. Ticked off Tuesday. Jared. I'm ticked off. I can't get over the lack of an obvious undo feature on the Apple iPhone keyboard. Though the Notes app offers a button, it's inexplicably not available anywhere else. Apparently, you can shake your phone to undo. I hate the shake the phone undo. Every time I shake the phone and it's like, do you want to undo typing? I'm like, if I press something, am I going to, like, delete my whole life? Like, I hate that. But every time I try this, I feel ridiculous and it barely even works. You're telling me I have to shake my phone around like a maraca to get back the text? I've written when you could have just added a tiny little U turn button. Like it's in the like it is in the like is in the Notes app. I can't tell you how many minutes of my life have been wasted by typing out messages, emails and online forms only to accidentally delete them. And most people don't even know what the shaking Know about the Shaking feature? I know enough about the shaking feature that it scares me, but I don't know how to use it. And that's what annoys me about it. It's almost like they know how annoying it is to have what you've written disappear and added the shake function for when you're so ticked off that you throw your phone in a fit of anger. It's unbelievable. The undo or Control Z command is a fundamental feature of any computing system. It's even possible to undo sending an email. Now it almost as if Apple is deliberately messing with us by withholding this button from our emojis from our most frequently used device. They've introduced Apple Intelligence, which can create customized emojis, remove objects from images, and even write entire paragraphs. But they can't add a simple undo button. I'm with you. This is crazy. Instead of using valuable space for mostly inaccurate predictive word suggestions, they could do us all a favor by incorporating incorporating what's available in the Notes app. I bet even Apple employees are annoyed by this missing feature. Do we have to start a petition? Oyve. I'm ticked off. I'm with you. This is annoying. I don't like the shake feature. I'm. I'm against. I listen as someone who is writing a book, yes, we're writing a book. I have written like parts of the book in emails and a notes function and then like lost it all. And then like the shake thing is like. And it's always, it's undo. Do I want to undo the delete? Do I want to. What am I undoing? I can never really. The shake is horrible. There's no explanation of the shake. No one knows how to use it. We every time do you want to undo? I'm like, what will this do to me? Will this end my whole phone right now? It's just, it's not user friendly and it seems to be like some sort of fun secret for a loser coder. Like I, I think the shake function, now that I think about it, it's something that they kept on there for the person who knows the phone so well that they're annoying about it. Oh, you didn't know about the shake option. Oh, loan. Oh, check this out. It's like a magic trick for the biggest nerd alive. Yeah, no, I don't like that. We're. And that's probably why they're keeping it. They're probably keeping it for this one loser who gets to go at a party and go, oh, you didn't know this function? You don't know how to shake the phone? Look at. I can shake it. Look at it. Just like, you know, just like, shaking. You know, my. Oh, would you like to hook up with me? It's like. It's. It's a way of them flirting, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Just shake the phone. Oh, you got a good shake going on there. Yeah. I don't like this at all. It's. It's annoying because. And again, it's, like, not explaining. And you're right. You bring up a lot of great points. This phone is so intuitive. It takes you. It holds your hand through every process. And then this one huge thing, they just feel the need to make vague and unexplained. Okay, ticked off. Tuesday. Every Tuesday, back next week, boom.