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The JTrain Podcast
Dating in Your 40s: Sad Single or Fun Single?! ft Chris Lamberth - CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY
00:44:45
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- [00:00]
A
Chit chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them too. Chit chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a chit chat Wednesday too. Hello and welcome to the J Train podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Vancouver, Canada. That's right, every Wednesday is a Chit chat Wednesday where I sit down with a comedian, a friend, an expert. Today, Wednesday we, we have all three. We have comedian friend. He is a return guest to the show. An expert in the world of movies. I would consider him a go to movie guy for me. But also hilarious comic who has a special that is out right now on YouTube called Killing in Obscurity. I watched it today. It is hilarious. You're going to love it. Chris Lambert, thank, thank you for coming on. So great to see you.
- [01:21]
B
Thanks for having me on, man. Always a pleasure to talk to you.
- [01:24]
A
Always a pleasure. How are you? What's going on today? You know, to let people behind the curtains I. We had scheduled for this morning and then I'm like, oh my God, I am on a plane right now. And now we're doing it from across the country right now. So how are you? What's going on?
- [01:40]
B
I'm doing good, man. Just had a birthday same day as
- [01:43]
A
you and couple of February 21st guys in here, the worst day of the year.
- [01:49]
B
Yes, Us and Jennifer Love Hewitt and I think Kumail Nanjiani if I'm not mistaken.
- [01:55]
A
Really?
- [01:56]
B
Yeah. I think we got a good crew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just I've spent. Actually I'm seeing someone. Been seeing someone for about almost seven months now since we, since I was last on. And how's that going?
- [02:10]
A
How did it start? How did you meet? Because I remember you came on last and we talked about dating and having to like drive to a date and like all that. You know, we were just, we were two single guys, just kind of like, what is this thing? So how did you meet this person?
- [02:29]
B
We met on Hinge. It's funny because at the taping that we. I was promoting the last time I was on, my ex came to that show and I was saying some stuff about her. Nothing really negative or evil or mean.
- [02:45]
A
You say you still have love for her in the special.
- [02:49]
B
I did, yeah, I did, I did.
- [02:52]
A
How did I do? Did you mean? You know, I, I think a lot of comics like we. What we do we do some signaling? We do a little bit of like, we know what we're doing, even though we can act like we don't know what we're doing. Is there a little piece of you that's like, I'm gonna say this very sweet thing that, like, hey, we ended, but we're still cool. Cause you say it. I remember this specifically. And I was going to ask you about this. Yeah.
- [03:18]
B
At the time, like, I, I think I still do. Like, she was, she's not a bad person, but there was just things that didn't work and, and, and, and she was at the special, and when I looked at my phone after I see a special, I see a text from her and she said, great job. And she gave me the, the salute emoji. And I was like, oh, wow, she's there.
- [03:41]
A
And, you know, the great job salute emoji. How do we feel about that? X comes to your show. Great job. Was there an exclamation point? I, I know we could, like, honestly, we could spend hours going over a text like that, but like, I salute emoji. I'm like, I don't know. It feels a little passive aggressive from my end. I'm not listen and I listen. I have a lot of amicable breakups from my end that I don't know how they feel, but they tell me we're cool. And then I, you know, I'm sure I. Especially if I've ended it, there's a little bit of, you know, a little bit of whatever, you know, I'm not going to let this person get to me, so I have to, like, kind of come at them a little bit.
- [04:24]
B
Right.
- [04:25]
A
Not vulnerable, so to speak. Like, you know, if I went to someone's show as a performer, you and I both know I make it very clear. I had a great time. I, I don't beat around the bush with someone. And I've gotten those texts before. Hey, was at the show. Cool time, I guess, you know, like. And I'm like, you didn't have to do. You know, you get those. Like, anything in the middle from an X to me is passive aggressive. You could have just given it. You could have taken the L, but it's not really an L. Do you know what I mean? I, I, how do you. Again, I'm, I'm, I'm going on and on. But how do you do feel about the Cause the salute text out of the salute emoji? I don't know.
- [05:02]
B
Like, she ended up changing the whole course of that night. Cause I ended up hanging out with her.
- [05:08]
A
Oh, really?
- [05:09]
B
Yeah, I was gonna probably hang out with the crew, everybody that helped. And that's it. I gotta see what's going on with her because I had a friend, he came out, he came from Texas to see me and a friend from grad school. Yeah. And so I got a. It was the old goodwill hunting thing where it's like, I gotta see about a girl, you know? So we ended up hanging out and we just kind of hung out for a couple weeks and it was cool, but it just kind of fizzled and. Right the last time I saw her. So the next day I went out with this woman I'm dating now. And we kind of just been like stuck with each other ever since. So it's been really fun. Like, she bought me a. For my birthday. Well, for my birthday I usually like to go see a play. So I went to see a play, an off Broadway show.
- [06:02]
A
And what did you see?
- [06:03]
B
Would you recommend Monsters? I highly recommend it. It's a, It's a two hander. It's about a brother and sister. The brother is a grizzled MMA fighter and his sister is an upstart that wants to be like him. And they're estranged and they kind of go over their childhood where they play the child, child versions of themselves. And it's really good. It's like a 110 minutes. It's. It's under two hours and it's no intermission. It's just two, two actors going at each other. It's really great.
- [06:38]
A
I misspoke. You're not an expert in movies, you're an expert in the arts. I, I knew this about you. You to go to a play on your birthday, like, that is like, you know, you're into it. This is great. I mean, also MMA in a play, like, how is that even. Like, is it, is there a piece of you that wants to laugh? Like, of them? Like, I imagine the Off Broadway version of an MMA fighter being highly unbelievable.
- [07:06]
B
It's. It's really good. The actors are good. And I'm a theater guy. I went, my MFA is in theater. I did theater a bunch in Chicago. I got my. I was on Broadway, but I just, I love seeing the show. It's inspiring. It's one of my favorite, other than the movies, because the movies are a cheaper, much cheaper version than of going to a play or seeing a live musician. That's two of my favorite things are live music and theater. I love it. Whether I'm not being a Practitioner of it. But. But just as a fan, I love going just the same as I would going to a. A basketball game or football game.
- [07:49]
A
I just saw an eight piece Allman Brothers cover band.
- [07:54]
B
You kind of froze them.
- [07:55]
A
And I had a moment where I was like, these guys are unbelievable. Like, these guys are really like. It wasn't Allman Brothers to me. It was like. It. It was like they were doing they. You know, because they kept going. They played it like a jam band. And I was like. I was like. And there were moments just like you're talking about where you kind of go to a place where you're like, you're inspired. You're like, look at how they're doing their craft. They're in sync. You see the room around you kind of like catching a wave, so to speak.
- [08:27]
B
Yes. And that's definitely what I saw in that play. Just like. Cause there's some choreography, there's fight choreography in this play. And you think, like, how are they going to do this? And they bring it to you. And it's like you could see them looking at each other just to how connected they were to pull off these movements and the progression that the sister character goes through as a novice to somebody who's an elite level fighter. It's just these tiny little tics that's just like, wow. Now you can see that she's actually learned her craft, you know, Like, I have an.
- [09:07]
A
I would. I would say that I hear about you doing this and I am like, I'm like an aspirational. Like, I would, like, Like, I hear about that. I go, that's a good idea. I should do more of that. Like, I'm sure there's people out there like me where I'm like, I do very little. I don't do a lot of interesting things. Like, I saw like, there was like a. There's a playhouse near my apartment in Delray beach where I'm like, they do things. Like, they do, like, local things. I'm like, you know what? I should do that. And I never follow up. How would. If there's someone like me, how do you find a show like Monsters? Like, where do you go? Like, suss this out? It's not like you can get like a. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's not like you get previews or you get like a TikTok that comes on your phone. Like, how do you find an off Broadway show that would be interesting to
- [09:59]
B
someone you can follow. You follow the different theaters. Like, for you, I would say in the city. And you're in the city a lot. But I wanted to ask you about your move, too, but, like, in the city, I just follow a bunch of theaters that are in the city, theater companies. And then along with Broadway, you kind of know what's going on, and your algorithm will feed you that stuff. But a lot of times you can just Google theaters near me and, like, the playhouse that's near you. You can see what their season is. And you can see maybe they're doing hello Dolly from. In. From April to June, and then maybe in the. From. In July, they're doing, I don't know, Othello. So if one of those interest you, you can just. Just get tickets, read the. Read the paper. Like, the display. I like to. I like to make myself cool, sound cool. It's not a big deal. But it's like, I picked that show, and then it became a New York Times critics pick so well.
- [11:02]
A
That's like getting the rookie card. That's, like, for anyone, you know, especially for us, like, for comics. Like, I always say that about stand up. Like, go follow Chris Lamberth. Go check out the special. Be a part of someone. Someone's rise. Someone's, you know. You know, beginnings, you know, and, like, you and I have been doing it a long time, but I'm sure to someone, if they're new here, they're going, hey, I got. I got a new guy to cheer for. I got a new. I got a new comic I want to check out and see how they do on the next one. You know, I think we always appreciate when someone comes to our show and they're like, hey, this is like my third show, and you've gotten. I. I always thought it was great, but you've gotten so much better. I love where you've gone. That makes me feel so good in the same way that, like, you feel great about, you know, going to monsters and finding out, oh, I was right. This. This is. Now everyone's gonna see how right I was about this play.
- [11:56]
B
Right? Yeah. It makes me feel cool. And I think in the. In the special, I talk about a show that got. I don't think I said it in the special, but it. The. When I was doing a little. I was doing a little too much on the first date. And I'm sure you'd probably agree it was like taking a woman out on the first date to dinner and a play. But it's too much. It is too much. Too much.
- [12:18]
A
Ticket, a date.
- [12:20]
B
And I was a newbie. Yeah.
- [12:22]
A
Yeah. Can't do a ticket, a date on a first date, that's it, you're locked in. I need, I think the perfect date is you get together for an hour. Like if we, they should open a restaurant where they have clocks on the table for an hour and you can hit the clock like they do in chess, you know, when it's the other person's turn.
- [12:44]
B
Yeah.
- [12:45]
A
You each get one hit of the clock to go get a 10 minute break. So it's a 40 minute date with two 10 minute breaks. Anytime you want to take it. And then you come back to the table and you got to finish out the hour. At the end of the hour, we move on and you got to pay for the table. So you don't even have to pay for drinks. Like you can do drinks, but they may become included with your ticket to the table that has the timer on it. Don't you think that'd be a great day? Cause I think what, what gets us bogged down about dates and why we avoid dates is like, oh, I, I, I don't, it's a Tuesday night. I don't want to go out, I don't want to drink tonight. I do want to meet this person, but I want them to fit in my calendar. What if it's a bust? Wouldn't that make it easier? And like.
- [13:29]
B
Yeah, it would be. Cause you, you, I watch you up and I watch a lot of what people say about dating on YouTube and, and according to a lot of the women, the guys aren't showing up at events like that, that you just proposed. And because it's like, it's almost like it's in the same ballpark as speed dating. And this is the guys showing up, they're not showing up. So I don't, I don't know, but it's, it would be good. But my girlfriend, that, my current girlfriend, we're just talking about over the weekend how we, we met, met on hinge. We talked and we said, why don't we go to this bar. We went to this bar in Harlem and we, we're just gonna get drinks. And I said, did you eat yet? And she said, I ate this morning. I was like, this morning? It's seven o'clock now. You're probably. And I didn't say anything. So we just kept talking and we were having a great time and we both got two rounds. And then she said, you know, I could eat now, I wanna go somewhere. And I just took her cue and I said, well, what are you in the mood for? He went, do you eat for pizza or something? I know a place. And, and we were in New York City. And she said, yeah, I kind of just want to take a ride. It was August 2nd of last year. And she said, yeah, I just want to take a ride, let my wind blow and let my hair blow in the wind. And I said, well, I could take it to this pizza place called. It's called Kenchley's, but it's in North Jersey. It's in Jersey. So I was. That's taking you across state lines. And we had a laugh about that. I took her and we, we went there, had pizza and we had a great time. We had fun.
- [15:14]
A
I mean, that shows that there's no rules for a first date, right? You know, you have fun and the only rule is like, let it happen. You know, like, because when you say, hey, have you eaten today? And they're like, well, I don't even know you yet. Like, I'm not looking to break bread. Like, that's, that's what she's saying. She's going, I've eaten, you know, 80 hours ago, but I'm. I'm gonna see if you're cool enough for me to eat with. You know, like I. And then you check the box you. And instead of pressing, instead of you going, like, if you had gone the other direction and gone, well, 7:00am breakfast, well, you must be hungry since breakfast. You'd be like, okay, back off, I gotta get out of here.
- [15:53]
B
Yeah, yeah, it ruins the whole day. Yeah, yeah, I just let her dictate that. Cuz I was either gonna, you know, drop her off or. And you know, it, it was going well enough to know that maybe I'd get a second date. So I didn't wanna push anything or I just. At that, at that point I was just like, she seems cool and she looks better than her picture. She's nice. She's. We can hold a conversation talking about kind of deep stuff on, on our first date and, and it just, it just happened.
- [16:26]
A
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- [18:20]
B
We talked about going to live events. I mean, we.
- [18:23]
A
We.
- [18:23]
B
And. And I think it was around the time I had asked you about. It's probably in the fall, I think. I texted you about late summer, early fall. Like Little Owl in the city.
- [18:35]
A
Yes.
- [18:36]
B
I got Resi's for it, but we got there too early. And then we had to, like, switch. So I didn't get to go to Little Owl.
- [18:43]
A
I haven't been pretty good.
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B
Yeah.
- [18:45]
A
And it's like. I mean, you're in, like, Cuteville Station. Like, anyone. Little Owls in, like, the heart of, like, Sex in the City Village, you know? Like, it is one of those restaurants that you'd be like, if you took a picture of it and showed it to a girl, she would immediately go, cute. Like a media.
- [19:04]
B
Yeah. So we ended up. That night, we ended up going to Emmet on Grove and just looking at. Looking at. We're looking at. We're trying to. We're looking at tickets, like Ticketmaster on our apps. We're trying to figure some stuff out. And then I saw that we were a month in. We went to see one of my favorite bands, Rylo Kylie, at The Capitol Theater in Portchester. And so that was the first time we spent a weekend together, which would have been Labor Day weekend. And we were hanging out, and it was just a really, really nice vibe. Everything was just kind of organic. And, you know this. When you're with somebody that you connect with, it just happens organically. And, you know, it was just. Yeah, so she's really easygoing. She's a sweetheart. And, yeah, we have fun. We have.
- [19:56]
A
We have good time. You seem happy. You seem at ease. I think that's the other thing about relationships that kind of gets not talked about. Like, it's not about, like, you know, you're excited, but you're like. It kind of feels like you sat in a nice couch.
- [20:13]
B
Yeah, it's very. It's very. The things that. That didn't work with other women. Not to say, like, I tried. You know, there's trial and error, but it's like, oh, this wasn't hard, like, for a couple of years. I don't know if you ever noticed it, but a lot of it seemed like a lot of comics would go to this place called Storm King Art Center. It's like an outdoor museum that's open, and they have, like, these exhibits. It's very beautiful. It's in Kingston. And I said, man, I'd love to go there, but I don't want to go there alone. And I remember on our first date, we were just talking about different things to do, and I said, yeah, you know, I'd really love to go to Storm King Art Center. And she said, oh, yeah, I've been there. It's really nice. Maybe we could go sometime. And then. So we were talking about it, and then after the first date, we were texting. She was out of town for work, and we were texting, and we were thinking. I was like, yeah, would have loved to see you again. I said, sure. What were you thinking? I was like, maybe we grabbed. We'd go to some restaurant and walk around. And she said, well, what about Storm King? And I was like, oh, shit. She's listening. She. I was like, oh, okay. Because most. Because it's like an hour trip. And some people like, oh, that's. That's a. That's a trip. Or that's. Or you're. You're being too. They might think you're being too much when you're thinking about an hour trip to upstate New York.
- [21:38]
A
Well, it's funny you bring that up, because there was a bit in your special that I loved, and it's on this topic, you talk about going to get a, I'm sorry, a colonoscopy. You talk about going to get a colonoscopy alone and how you saw another guy there and his wife is picking him up after the colonoscopy and you were saying, I just love the premise so much. It's so funny about going to a colonoscopy alone because, you know, there, we've been around comics, we hear, you know, oh, I had my first colonoscopy. That becomes a bit, that a lot of comics get into. I'd never heard the, because I, I had a moment where I had to go to the hospital alone for myself to get like an MRI or something. And I, and I was thinking about, and I mentioned it on you up just how I guess I never put together, like whenever I heard about a woman freezing her eggs, I, I never really thought about the trip to the hospital that took to go freeze your eggs and how like, lonely that might feel. Yeah, we don't really, you know, men go, generally, men go to a doctor in an alley and they go cough a couple times and then they go, you're good. You know, like there's, we're very much the automatic transmission, you know, like, there's not a lot, you know, I, I, every woman I've ever dated has had 17 doctors and knows them by name and knows, you know, where they live. And I, I just don't have that connection to doctors. I don't know about you, Chris, but I, but I, but I had that experience. I was like, wow. I, I guess I'd never thought of the alone experience. But then when you talked about colonoscopy alone, you talk about like men growing up and whether they're looking to be with someone or be in a relationship and how this made you kind of realize that a little bit. And did you, I mean, I, I wanted to ask you about that bit. Did you, do you remember that day? Do you, do you remember get thinking like, oh my God, this is like sad alone. This is sad single.
- [23:41]
B
Yeah, kind of. Because it's like that guy, I mean, first of all, why is this guy, why does this guy have going to Disney World Energy, going to the colonoscopy at 6 in the morning. But then he's, he's like, oh, my wife, my wife's gonna take me home. You know, it's just with no thought about it at all. And, and his wife was there. I saw his wife and she just waited for him, you know, and it's just like, it's very sobering when you, when you think about that. Well, am I living my life right? Or, you know, to really, am I living the full human experience? And you think about. It's sobering. And so I needed to, it's like I need to step my game up. Like, that's part of it, why I was pursuing it in the past few years, a relationship, trying to find somebody.
- [24:29]
A
So, yeah, is so okay before we get to the game, because the game is going to be based on going to the colonoscopy alone, which I think is a great. I want everyone to go check out the special. Killing in Obscurity. There's a clip of you when you first started Stand up in the Beginning. I love that. At Ochi's Lounge in New York City.
- [24:52]
B
Jeff Ceruli, fellow comic who's the director, documentarian, also a comedian, he's a filmmaker. And he, I reached out to him to do it and, and he said, why don't we just, you got some old clips. And he just used some, an old YouTube clip. And it, it just kind of wanted to have a little something at the beginning. Yeah.
- [25:14]
A
So that's cool to see. I, I, it brought me back. I, so I, what's your favorite joke from the special and what's the joke you wish you had worked longer on?
- [25:26]
B
The favorite joke is the Closer, the Spike Lee Story. Cause I've been working on that for a long time. And I wanted to capture on film, on record about career, about the pursuit of a career. I'm not famous, but I've done cool things. Like, I've lived a life. You know, my dad passed away about almost, God, 20, 21. And he asked me if I was happy when he was, you know, one of our last conversations, I said, yeah, I've done everything that I wanted to do as a child. I've done it already. And it was because of you, you know, because you helped me get there. And when he passed away, I was on Broadway. So those things, you know, taking my parents to a movie that I was in with Melissa McCarthy that got nominated for an Oscar, couple of Oscars. And that was one of the proudest moments of my career. Yeah, I had three or four lines in it, but it was just like I got, and I could remember the look on my mom's face and my dad just kind of doing the, you know, doing that. And it was just, it was just a great moment in my life. And then, and then I kind of undercut it a little bit with that Spike Lee story. And and the show to kind of show like you, you keep going, you just. Right. No matter what. Like this guy was indirectly one of the reasons I'm, I'm doing Stand Up. One of the reasons I'm actually online talking to you was because of Spike Lee.
- [27:01]
A
And he was especially seeing, seeing yourself on the big screen that, like in the, like the list of things that matter to a parent, you know, like we, the underrated list of things. You know, you say I when you go to the movies, you, yeah, that has power to it in a way that, you know, we go, oh, I went viral on Instagram or I, I, my clip did well. You know, they go, ah. That doesn't even like hit them. And it makes you wonder like what will hit people 20 years from now? But to have it. I'm sure your parents were like, just like blown away.
- [27:37]
B
Yeah. I think I can remember my mom just kind of being like, oh. Because she, you know, she, you know, like I know being a, I think there's a, there's a lot of similarities between having a black mom and a Jewish mom. And I think that there's a love hate relationship sometimes where it's just like, you love your mom, you do anything for her, but it's like you're just like, oh my God, will you just, oh, you love me. You know I'm your son.
- [28:09]
A
Right, right, right. They're all over you.
- [28:12]
B
Yeah.
- [28:13]
A
Just. But I can tell by the way you talk about your parents in it. Like same relationship. Just like that. Like, I need you, but I need you to just back off. But they never will. Yeah.
- [28:26]
B
And to do comedy the way that you and I do it. And it's not to try to have any elitism or anything where you talk about your life, you talk about your family. And that's one of the reasons why I appreciate what you do and what you do that's inspiring to me that I need to do more of is just to be a little more front facing with the Internet. But at any rate, when you do it the way we do it, you're excavating things that probably made you feel bad in a moment or make you feel like. And trying to turn that into art and to make it consumer, to make it be able to be consumed by a mass audience.
- [29:08]
A
Right. I, I always, you want to take the awe out is kind of what I try to do. Like you tell a story that, you know, it had to be effective. It's gotta have again, like maybe hurt your feelings or made you feel a little bit angry.
- [29:21]
B
But then you.
- [29:22]
A
You want to get rid of the one, usually woman who goes, ah. And they don't. Yeah, they're not. They don't even care they're doing it, but they don't even understand that it cuts you like a knife to hear an awe. You're like, I gotta get rid of that, you know?
- [29:38]
B
Yeah. And that's. And that's part of the fun. And I remember seeing the first time I saw Marc Maron, he was taping his album this has to be Funny, and he was talking about a moment where his mother said something along the lines of I never knew how to love you or something like that.
- [30:00]
A
Okay.
- [30:02]
B
And he got a response saying, aw. And he was like, no, no, no, no. This has to be funny. I've dealt with it. I have dealt with those issues, and now I'm presenting you. This is funny. And it was. But that's exactly what you and I were just talking about. It's like. And I had the pleasure of getting to tell him about that bit, to tell him that I was there. I. I opened for him maybe a couple years later in Virginia, and it was just like. He was like, oh, that's cool. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what we're going for. We're trying to take out. Trying to. Trying to make it, you know, palatable for a general audience as much as.
- [30:46]
A
Okay, so we want everyone to go check out Chris's special. It is hilarious. You're gonna love it. Go check it out. It's called Killing in Obscurity. The link is in the bio this episode. The link bio this episode. No matter where you're watching on YouTube or if you're listening and at Chris Lamberth on all social media platforms. Okay, let's play this game. And it was based off of the bit that I just. I. I just thought going home in an Uber from a colonoscopy is, like, the funniest thing I've ever imagined. And the way you talk about it is great. So I Googled, and now with Google, you can, like, check out, like, it'll just give you a list of things, which is really what I'm looking for. So I want us to debate. This was fun things to do as a single guy in his 40s. So I was like. Was debate. Because I didn't know you were in a relationship now. So I was like. But you and I are two guys who have been single as we. We've gotten older and single. So the. The. These. This list is fun things to do as a single guy in your 40s, and you have to decide, is it sad single, or fun single? Like, are these things fun or sad to do as a single guy in your 40s? Ready?
- [32:00]
B
Let's do it.
- [32:01]
A
Okay. Rock climbing. Is rock climbing a fun thing to do as a single guy, or is
- [32:10]
B
it sad if you like it? If you're. If you're casual, if you're really intense about it and it's like, what are you doing this for? What are you trying to prove? You. I don't know. It depends on the intensity level.
- [32:27]
A
I think I. I think it's a fun single guy thing to do because it's something you can say you do, but you don't have to, like, do it with other people. So it doesn't sound sad to anyone, you know, like, oh, I went rock climbing this weekend. No one's gonna go, who'd you go with? Everyone's gonna go, oh, you went rock climbing? Is that something you're into? How do you do that? Are you in a club? Like, I think that's why it's fun single guy thing to do.
- [32:55]
B
I would. I would say, yes, it's an activity that you like to do. So. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Fun.
- [33:01]
A
You know, you can't be like, someone can't ask you, like, okay, how about this? Going on a wine tour. Is that a fun thing to do as a single guy, or is it a sad thing to do?
- [33:17]
B
Damn. That's hard, too, because you think of it like, you can meet people there. You can meet single women there, if that's your angle. But a lot of times it's something that it seems like you would do as a couple, because my married friend, my closest friends I've known since first grade said, yeah, my wife and I, we just went to. We went up north because they. They do really well. And. And, yeah, we just went up there to northern California, and we. We left the kids with their grandparents and we went on a wine tour. So that's either something that single women do together or a married couple do together. And it's.
- [33:58]
A
If you're alone.
- [33:59]
B
If you're alone, are you a borderline creep?
- [34:02]
A
I think I have been alone on a wine tour. And it was me and three boomer couples, and they were like, by the middle of it, they were like, what are you doing here? Like, they had so many questions, and I'm like, I'm here for work. I had a day off. I figured I'd go to the wine country. And they were like, okay, and because the drunkard they got, the more freely they asked questions of why I was alone. And the fun part of a wine tour is like trying because they're all the same. Have you ever been on like a brewery tour or a distillery tour or a wine tour? They're all the same. They give you a taste. They tell you about the history. You act like, oh, this is an important place, but it really isn't. And then at some point you try it and you have to turn to someone and be like, what did you like?
- [34:53]
B
What did you like?
- [34:55]
A
You know, and you're basically there by yourself going, I like number four. And then you're telling, you know, the wall. Like, there's no one to tell. I think it's sad. Single.
- [35:04]
B
Is that in your act now or.
- [35:07]
A
No, no,
- [35:09]
B
that's either something you put in your act or your film, whatever your series.
- [35:14]
A
It was in I'll Never. I was in Adelaide, I was in Australia and I. It was an hour away and I thought it was like close by and I'm just in the front seat of this sprinter van with three other couples and we all spent the day together. And it was like in the beginning, they're like, what do you. What? Nice to me, what's that?
- [35:36]
B
What are you doing here, mate? Right.
- [35:38]
A
Well, they were from all over the world. Like, everyone's on their honeymoon, you know, everyone's on like their big. You know, all the boomers, they're on their, like, big retirement trip.
- [35:46]
B
That. On the surface, that's sad. But I bet you probably had a good time though, right?
- [35:51]
A
I had fun. And I also. It got long. I think there's a point with every alone thing you do, and I'm sure you've experiences. Going to a bar alone is great for that first drink. You're. You're fresh, you're looking around. Who's single? Anyone else on their own? And then reality sets in. You're like, I've been here for two hours. I haven't talked to anybody. What am I doing here?
- [36:12]
B
Yeah, yeah. I never really did the bar alone, but there. There is a bar. It's now a Mexican restaurant, but it used to be an Irish pub that sometimes I'd come home from sets and I just stopped in there for a drink or whatever. But, yeah, and then some. It'd be like 11 at night and be like. Like people. I'm just like, I just want to. I'm gonna go home.
- [36:35]
A
I remember I was at a bar alone once and I'm having like a martini. I'M like, wow, Sex of the city. I am really killing it.
- [36:43]
B
Yeah.
- [36:43]
A
And then, like, an office party got on my right side, and, like, a big group of people on my right side. And then there was, like, another, like, hang, like, work party going on my left side, and they just squished into me, and I just became, like, the divider on a. Like, on the conveyor belt at the grocery store between these two parties. And I was like, this has gotten less sexy. This is not. I'm just. I'm more part of the bar than I am human being at this point.
- [37:18]
B
Yeah. And I. I even think, like, even in my 20s, because I started stand up in my late 20s. I was 29 when I started, and going into the city with. With friends that were kind of like, friends of friends, and they get. They would. It would be like, entourage every weekend. And I was just like, I'm. This is sad. I owe you 75 bucks for this bottle. And I just had one drink. I owe you 75 bucks.
- [37:46]
A
That's gotta be fun for the guy who's like, we're gonna go to the clubs. We're gonna go meet women. And then you're just like, this is sad. Is anyone even thinking deeper about this? They're like, no, we're not. That's why we're hanging out. That's why we go to strip clubs.
- [37:59]
B
Yeah. And so I started stand up right after that. I was just like, I can't do this.
- [38:04]
A
All right? Doing this alone. This was written on the list of things for single men to do alone.
- [38:10]
B
Okay.
- [38:12]
A
Reflect.
- [38:15]
B
That's good.
- [38:16]
A
I would think you like that. I thought that was the saddest thing I've ever seen written.
- [38:20]
B
Just reflect by yourself.
- [38:21]
A
Just reflect. That was on the list of things a single man can do to have fun alone. Reflect. If someone told me, jared, why don't you go reflect today? I'd be like, do you hate me? Like, do you think there's something wrong with me? Like, what do I need to reflect?
- [38:43]
B
Well, see, because I'm. I'm just being. I think it's good for a guy to think about. Like, I think. Yeah. I think that colonoscopy bit made me reflect. Although it was, like. It was kind of in the moment, but, like, thinking like, I gotta get my shit together. I gotta really, you know, literally get my shit together. And then theoretically, I don't know, man. It's like, I don't know that that's fun. Maybe I think you're right. Maybe. Maybe that's not so Fun.
- [39:16]
A
But someone asked you, Chris, what'd you do Saturday night? And you were like, I just reflected. They'd be like, chris needs a friend. We. We. We got to.
- [39:28]
B
Yeah.
- [39:29]
A
Check in on Chris every now and again. Wouldn't you think rock climbing wouldn't get that same reaction?
- [39:36]
B
That's true. That is sad. You should do you. I wouldn't tell. Yeah. I wouldn't tell anybody that.
- [39:42]
A
Right. Yeah, you can't tell anybody. It's sad.
- [39:44]
B
Yeah. If. Yeah, if you wouldn't tell. That is sad. You're right. You're right.
- [39:48]
A
Here's one of them. Is cooking class is that sad or is that fun? I like a cooking class that's fun.
- [39:55]
B
Yeah.
- [39:56]
A
Cause you meet cooking class is aspirational, too. Like, you're learning to cook something for someone.
- [40:02]
B
Exactly.
- [40:03]
A
Right. Like, you want to be better. That. I think that's a good thing.
- [40:07]
B
Women love a man who can cook,
- [40:10]
A
and they love when you say you can cook. You don't even have to cook. Do you cook? Oh, I cook for myself all the time. They. They're always surprised. It is funny to see there's, like, all these, like, Internet memes about, like, men, you know, the bar is low, men do nothing, whatever. And then you say to a woman on a date, oh, I like to cook my dinner. And then they're like, what? And it's like, well, you haven't even tried it. You don't know what I'm doing here. I'm doing SpaghettiOs. You know? Like, I like.
- [40:36]
B
They.
- [40:37]
A
There are. They're automatically impressed.
- [40:41]
B
Yeah. Yeah. And I think sometimes when you ask a woman if she can cook, why, you want me to cook for you? I'm like, no, no. I just want to know if you.
- [40:49]
A
Is that an interest? Right?
- [40:50]
B
It's just. It's just a talking point because I can't.
- [40:55]
A
Okay, here we go. Last one.
- [40:59]
B
All right.
- [40:59]
A
Sad single or fun Single.
- [41:02]
B
Okay.
- [41:04]
A
Playing video games.
- [41:07]
B
Dude, that's fun to me. I was. I was playing video games with my girlfriend this past weekend. I love video games, and I know it's been a subject on you up before. If it makes. If it. If it's fun, you just gotta balance it out, you know? Like, you. Like, I remember the game. One of the games I was most excited about. Past five, six years, the Last of Us Part two. I was excited. I had a great time.
- [41:39]
A
I think the conversation around people's interests on dates is all fraudulent because I think if someone has an interest at all, it's actually always good. Like, I don't care what the interest is because what, what I've come to find is that most people, myself included, but not really, I'm being self deprecating if I'm saying that because our interest is doing standup and being a comedian and that is an interest which thankfully is also a career and a job to build. And yeah, that's a really beautiful thing. But like we don't talk about it like it's an interest because we want to take it seriously.
- [42:27]
B
Right.
- [42:28]
A
But we. I meet a lot of people that have no interests at all or seemingly they don't mention an interest. And I think the weirder you go, the more specific you go like a video game. I like to game. Well, tell me more is better. Is better than not. Thank you. Is better than not having any at all. Like, and to say, like, I don't like a guy who plays video games. No, you didn't like one guy who didn't know how to organize his life where video games could be a part of it. Or that guy and you weren't the match. And he should be dating someone who also is into gaming.
- [43:05]
B
Right. I've of good friends Ron and Karen from the Black Guy who Tips podcast. They're like, hey, we're going to need two Xboxes because you know, I want to play too. That's what his wife says. So it's like you got to find your person, you know, that likes that as much as you do and it doesn't always have to be, you know, the exact same thing. But this is a part of who I am. Just like standup is. I do like the game. If there's a game that piques my interest, I'm gonna get it. I wanted to play this, this beat em, this smash em up retro game kind of retro like Marvel's. I forget what it's called. Marvel's Cosmic Invasions where you could be all these different Marvel characters and be more like, I know you remember Double Dragon and stuff like that. Like kind of like that. And I downloaded it on this past. On my birthday and she and I played for like an hour or two. We had, we had a good time. Can't do it all the time.
- [44:09]
A
I'm happy for you, Chris. I'm happy for you that you have a relationship now. This is, I mean people could go back and hear about your dating life on this show and then hear how happy you are in this relationship. Also, we want people to go check out the special. The special. It is called Killing in Obscurity. It is funny. You're going to enjoy. The link to the YouTube channel is below in the bio. Chris Lamberth at Chris Lamberth on all platforms. This is amazing. Great to see you. Thank you for doing the show.
- [44:40]
B
Thanks for having me, man.
- [44:42]
A
Back next week.
- [44:43]
B
Boom.