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The JTrain Podcast
Delta's 2 Million Miler Gift, No Towels At The Gym, and Doordash Shamers - TICKED OFF TUESDAY
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I know you're angry. It's Tuesday and it has no feel. The weekend was fun. You're still hungover from the eating and next weekend is too far away. What will you do with your day? It's time to get ticked off. Complain with your gripe. Right now, your friend Uncle J Train is here to tell you that you're right. It's a ticked off Tuesday. Ticked off Tuesday. You're angry and you don't even know why. Enjoy this podcast. It'll help you get to Friday. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming alive from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Tuesday is a ticked off Tuesday where you, the listener emails me the comedian to complain. That's the whole show. You complain to me. I find a way to make you feel validated, to make you feel seen. There is no complaint that you could send here that I would shame you for. I might see a direction that you don't see. I may push back. Hey, I don't know if you're going down the right road. Let me direct you to another road that's equally awful and something you didn't even think about. So what I want you to do is send in your complaints to jtrain podcast gmail.com. that's jtrain podcastmail.com. they will be read, they will be looked at, they will be reviewed. But the best way to be a part of this show is to sign up for the Patreon. The Patreon gets you to the top of the inbox and the link to patreon patreon.com Jared Freed is in the bio this episode. 5 bucks a month gets you coffee with J Train every Friday. And then you can comment on coffee with J Train with your complaint. It will be read the next week here on this show. So that's our announcements. Other than that, I'm on the road. Charleston, Atlanta, Tampa Beach, Mountain, North Carolina, Boston. Those are all dates that are coming. Boston, first show sold out. There is a second show added. I want to get that sold out as well. So if you're waiting, don't wait. Let's get those tickets. Assemble the group, chat as I say, New York, second show added. Also Toronto, Seattle, Vancouver, Tempe. I'm always adding more dates. Jaredfree.com Jared free.com Go, go, go. I have a mailing list that if you come, if I come close to the area, you can sign up for that on my website. Jared free.com this is all to say, here's My complaint, I flew Philly to Atlanta, Atlanta to West Palm beach this past Sunday after I did shows in Philly and Baltimore. Now I was on a flight, 4 o'. Clock. I would say this. At the end of the day, I get it. We're all kind of tie, tie. We're all a little bit annoyed. We're all a little bit. We've all had a day. Especially if you've been working. If you're working, you've had a real day. My day Sunday was really pretty chill. So my 4:59 flight, I. Well, let me just say 4:59 on a Sunday, everyone's a little exhausted. Everyone doesn't want to deal with someone. I don't envy people who are working. Also, if you're a flight attendant, you've probably had a day. You have dealt with people on Sunday. Sunday travelers, Sunday drivers. These are the least, the most amateurish of travelers are probably a Sunday traveler. The people that are most tired, the people that are the hardest to deal with, I would assume Sunday, coming home from wherever they're going, I understand that that would be a tougher day to deal with people on a Delta flight, fine. But when they come around the flight with the headphones, I am someone who takes the headphones because I don't have a cord to connect my AirPods to the TV the football games were on. So I wanted a corded headphone. They do now have Bluetooth on some of the flights. I am so excited for that option to be a wider option. So when they come through the aisle, they kind of do a quick walkthrough with the headphones. The woman going through the aisle with the headphones, she did a thing that I was like, we don't need to do this. You can walk through and be like, hey, everybody, who needs some headphones? She started looking us in the eye and going, hey, if you want headphones, get them now. You guys always come back and tell me how you didn't. How we never came by and we never brought you the headphones, but you miss us. You guys are always coming back and saying, oh, you didn't come through with headphones. But we do, so don't be that way again. And it's like, let's not direct it at us as if we are the ones who've done that. You, we don't know each other. I don't fly your flight every Sunday. This isn't a repeat situation to say, you guys are always telling us, no, no, no. Hypothetical people tell us that we didn't Go through the aisle. I do not tell the flight attendant that they don't come through the aisle. And don't bring the headphones. You are now making me one of the losers, one of the non fliers. So let's just change the languaging on this. And maybe it's headphones. Maybe we started that because the idea that it's truly annoying you that people come to the back and go, hey, I didn't see the headphones. That's a two second interaction. Now if one person comes back and they are what I would refer to as an asshole, and they say, you guys didn't come through the aisle with the headphone, I would go, yeah, that's a one person scenario. That I would not spread out to all people as you're going through the aisles. I know what you're doing. I know it's a marketing play. It's a way to get people to pay attention when they're not paying attention. I think there are other ways. I don't need to be accused. As I'm sitting down and I'm looking you in the eye, I'm literally looking you in the eye with the headphones. I'm not the one who would hypothetically, at this point come back to you and say, you didn't come through the aisle. Where's my headphones? I get it. This does happen. Let's just change the attitude here because I felt it. It was an end of the day dude. And listen, we all had it. That isn't even my major complaint today. And before I get to my complaint, because there's a little bit of a story, it's from the same flight. I want to talk about our sponsor. We have one sponsor this week for the Monday and Tuesday episode. Different ones for Chit Chat Wednesday and Pop Culture Thursday. I should have gotten a water before I started. I should have watered up. Yep. It's okay. Here's the sponsor. I. I love the sponsor. Hero bread. Hero bread. I mean, they are doing what it's bread I would wish from a genie. Hey, I would like some bread that is lower in calories, higher in fiber, so it keeps me fuller, longer, low net carbs. Can you do that Genie? And the genie was like, here's hero Brett. Because if I'm having breakfast in the morning and I'm making eggs with toast, I just want toast. That's not going to, like, ruin me for the day. And that's where hero bread comes in. They have better bread. So I want you to use our promo code. I Want you to try it because they don't just have bread. They have croissants. They got tortillas. They also do noodles. The hero noodles are also great. They have sent those to me. I have tried them. They're great. They are low in cal high and five. That's it. That's what we want. We want efficiency, we want the bread, but we want it to go further for us. And that's what Herobred does. So let me just read you the promo code. This year, hit your goals without giving up your favorite bready dishes. Herobred is offering 10% off your order. Go to HERO CO. Use code FEATHER. That's code feather. Code feather. Use code feather at checkout. That's code feather at H e r o co. They have tortillas, croissants, buttermilk biscuits. They also do drops with different stuff all the time. I'm telling you right now, I love Herobred. It is such an easy decision to put that in the freezer and just let it be there, you know, so. So Herobred. Go, go, go. H E R O. Code feather for 10% off. Okay, now let me get to my real complaint. I'm on this flight. I'm going Philly to Atlanta and then Atlanta to West Palm. It's the Philly to Atlanta flight. I am in delta comfort aisle, which to me, delta comfort aisle, I think it's like a really great seat. I'm very happy. I'm. I'm okay with it. I also switched my flight around so I was okay. I had lost the upgrade that I had to first class from the morning. Now I'm in the late afternoon. It happens. And here's the thing. I made a video about sitting middle seat comfort plus and being a diamond person. It happens because when you're a diamond flyer, when you're a high level mile getter, if. If you're a high level traveler like myself, I'm really making it sound douchey. If you're someone who travels a lot, you. That means you switch your flights a lot. That means you do understand the. How the game kind of works, that you could end up in a middle seat comfort plus seat. That. That can happen. I'm on this flight, so I'm on aisle comfort plus, which I'm pretty happy about because there was a change earlier in the day. Fine. Let's go. We sit in our seats and they come over the loudspeaker and they say, hey, everybody, we have a special announcement. One of our passengers today has hit the 2 million mile mark. Now, 2 million miles, you might be thinking, what is that like three flights to LA? No, it is not. I have done a bit of math for you. I have around 950,000 miles. Okay? I fly a good amount. For me to get to a million, I would have to go from New York to LA 10ish times. That's for me to get the final 50,000. That gets me to a million. Now think about how much you'd have to fly to get to 2 million flights now. 2 million miles. Think about how much you'd have to fly to get to 2 million miles. That's a, that's a lot. Now let's see. Let's say I've been going hard at the flights the last seven years. I'll give myself. Let's say I started. 2019 was really the year I started to fly a lot. So let's say 2019 to 2026. Seven years. This person would have had to have flown twice as much as I have over the past seven years. Or they're older than me and this is them traveling as much as me for 14 years, which is a long time to be doing the flights that I'm doing at the rate I'm doing them. So can we all understand I'm making this as normal as possible. I'm trying to make this as edible as possible. They go, hey, we have a passenger here who's at 2 million miles and we want to present this passenger with a gift from our family at Delta to theirs. And they go, is Bob Johnson here? I don't know the name, that's a fake name is Bob Johnson here on this flight. And the guy one row up from me in Delta comfort aisle, across the aisle from me is our 2 million miler. I can't live in a world where when I hit 2 million miles, there is an announcement congratulating me and I am not in first class. At what at, at that point, what is this all for? I was literally looking into my future, seeing this Delta Comfy class aisle seat loser receive his gift bag which included one leather bound passport holder that I think said Delta on it. Not something I'm looking to have, not the merch I want. If I'm having a passport holder, I want it with no, no label on it. I want it to look classy. I don't want it to look like I got it at a bar mitzvah. They present this guy with the gift and I am like enraged for him. You should be able to opt out of the gift. Gift announcement. If you're not in first class, you should also be warned. Hey, this is the flight where you hit 2 million. Buy the first class ticket at this. Buy it. We don't want you embarrassing yourself. Honestly, it embarrasses Delta. Why am I committing to you if you're giving me mistress back of the bus status? That's what it looked like. It looked like he was getting a prize for, you know, being. It was like. It was like nothing. It was sad. He's not even in first class. 2 million miles. I just explained how much more that is than what I have. And I travel a lot. If you're familiar with my work, you know I'm on a flight every day. This is a disgrace. Delta should be embarrassed. Delta should have him in the front. He should be flying the plane. At that point, the woman next to me, she goes, we're all curious what he. The woman next to me, she started talking out loud because we are, at this point, headphones are off for all of us. We're looking at this guy who just received his gift. We're all kind of doing the math. Two million miles, looking at our own mileage. We're going, I, oh, my God, he's really flown a lot. Woman next to me goes, I guess we're all curious what he got in that gift bag. And I turned to her and I go, it's not first class. And we had a laugh and we cackled like two mean girls in the cafeteria making fun of a nerd's outfit. It was quite a cackle. But honestly, we're just laughing at ourselves. We're the losers who are committing to this airline who doesn't even put you in first class when they're going to announce you to the whole group that you're 2 million miles. Everybody look at this person who committed to Delta and we can still treat them like a comfort class bitch. What garbage. And Delta, listen, I am someone who likes how Delta runs its business. I actually think Delta's so aware that they must be aware this has happened and this can happen, and they don't care. That's how good I think Delta is at their business. I don't think this is a hole. This was done on purpose to show you you're still nothing. We still got people who fly more than you. What do you think? Because we're celebrating your two millionth mile, we're not going to give you the first class upgrade, we're going to just give you the first class upgrade on our Two hour flight to Atlanta. There's probably people with more miles on this flight. This was just garbage. Shame on you, Delta. Shame. Honestly, it made me think, why would I ever commit to this airline? I can just buy tickets on my own. I don't need because I get the cheapest ticket. And again, maybe this guy switched last second, maybe got the cheapest ticket. But still, when you're going to hit 2 million miles, it should stay on your app. Hey, we got you this flight especially. Jtrain podcast gmail.com jtrain podcastmail.com I have ticked off Tuesdays. We're done with the ads. I have 1, 2, 3. I have a fourth all from. I have three from Patreon and then a fourth with pictures. We love a complaint with pictures. Again, sign up for the Patreon. I. I'll treat you better than Delta does. Ticked off Tuesday. Hey Jared, I am running a second marathon and switch to listening your podcast while training. Well, thank you. Thank you for the hilarity and perspectives. They help the miles go by seamlessly. My complaint is related to this. I do my long runs outside and I do my shorter runs during the week at my local Gold's gym on the treadmill. They used to have towels out next to the front desk and you could just grab one as you please. And last month they put in a new policy, a sign in front of the desk that reads, ask an employee for a towel. I'm against this. I don't like this. It's a towel. It should be out there, should be just unlimited towels. This is. This is limiting the towels. Whether, whether they want to admit it or not, this is limiting the towels. This is putting a limit on it because you have to find someone, you have to ask someone, you have to be embarrassed. Look how sweaty I am. No, I'm against this. So now every single time I go in there, I have to ask the front desk lady or a man for a towel. You have to be fucking kidding me. I don't feel like having to interact with this person every single time I go in there. It's the equivalent of being in elementary school and asking if I can use the bathroom. I totally like. What the fuck. I want four things with the gym. Cleanliness, airflow, good machines to people ratio and towels fucking everywhere. I. You. You've nailed it. You have nailed it. So many towels and towel locations. I should be drowning in the towels. Yeah, I am with you. So am I crazy for this complaint? No. I already put up a Google review saying the towel situation is not Ideal. Thanks again for the laughs. If I'm you, I'm going further. The towel situation is not ideal. I. I'm going to the manager. Why have we made a change with the towel policy? I'm asking questions. I'm looking for explanations. What happened? Something huge must. I would do the whole. I would. I would do the real judgy complaint to a manager. Hey, can I talk to a manager? I'm wondering why there was a change with the towel policy. It seems like it's an important change for you guys. You've made a sign for it. What horrific thing must have happened to not put out towels so that the people who pay for this gym can enjoy their towels whenever they'd like? There must be something horrific that happened. And if they don't have a story that is absolutely bat shakuku bananas, then they have no story at all. I had this situation, and this is. This is my. I have the same belief with anything that used to be just out for the public to have. I went to a restaurant in St. Louis. It's this pasta place in Clayton. It's near the Ritz Hotel. Someone will probably know what it's called. I try. I complained about it years ago on this podcast. They had a policy where you had to ask for another piece of bread. They came around with the bread basket and tongs and they would give you one piece of bread. And then on the table they had oil and salt, pepper, oregano and cheese to make your own oil, like dip. But then they'd give you one bread at a time. And then I said to the person, I go, why don't you leave the bread basket on the table? They go, well, we used to do that. And then Covid. What during COVID happened that made it so the bread basket couldn't be on the table. What person sued this business for how they got sick because they grabbed at a bread and in the basket that made us go this way. Because this is absolutely crazy. The bread was crazy. Leave the. Leave the basket on the table and let me be a pig at my leisure. I'd like to be a pig at leisure. Pig at leisure. Great merch idea, by the way. Jtrain podcastmail.com Jtrain podcastmail.com, you got to sign up for Patreon. We'd love to have you there. My ticked off Tuesday is when people send you e gift cards via text. I don't like anything given over text because I lose it. It goes down the screen. I agree with you already. I moved across the Country a few months ago and as a thoughtful gift, I had several relatives send me gift cards to local restaurants for my birthday in early December so I could use them to explore the neighborhood. Very nice gift. While I love the gesture, think it's a very sweet idea, my aunts and uncles all ordered them online and they were sent to me via text with no way to be added to my Apple wallet. And insane. Insane. Yeah, because the text moves down the screen, you forget about it and then it's gone away. Now there's no gift card. It should be sent over email so that it can also be organized over email. Someone might be like, well you can organize text. No, I don't do that. We don't do that. The odds of me remembering I even have these gift cards are going to be slim to none now. It's not like I'll have the reminder when I open my physical wallet. And at least if they were in my Apple wallet, there's some home base for me to check. I agree. I want to space these dinners out so I'm not eating out back to back, but I need to scroll through my text or keep track in my notes app in order to remember each one. It's early January and I didn't even remember I had a gift card to this place down the street from my Aunt Kathy until I walk by it. Hope you can empathize with me. Sincerely, not so gifted. I think you're right. And it's one of those, you know we have like A on TikTok Tuesday we seem to get this version of Complaint where it's like I'm too small. Like it's like the you can't fight city hall. You can't fight city hall complaint because this is one of those where if you wanted the change to happen, you would literally have to go on a hero's adventure to try and work your way up. It would be like a Taken style movie where you have to go from like low level henchmen up to the top of the crime syndicate to get someone at Apple to create a way for all of these gift cards to be added to the Apple wallet. Like you'd have to be in a Jason Statham movie where you fight person after person and work the Beekeeper. That movie works like this. The Beekeeper was a great movie. I love the Beekeeper. Jason Statham. He starts with low level criminals and keeps working his way up the operation until he gets to the top of the Snake. It's probably a certain type of movie that I has A name. It's like a. It's probably a trope. Well, you would have to do that because what you're proposing is, hey, Apple Corporation, why aren't you allowing for gift cards to be in your Apple Wallet? Hey, Applebee's. Hey, TGI Fridays, why can't your gift cards go to the Apple Wallet? I'll tell you why. They don't want them to go to the Apple Wallet. That's the real anger that I'm, I'm starting to build up. The whole gift card game was a great way for restaurants and stores to take your money and then probably have you never use it. And they're trying to continue the grift they've had for years. Now that we have technology, we have the ability to make it so you never lose a gift card. The whole gift card game was a great idea, business wise. They just give us their money and then we. Maybe they'll come back. And they usually don't because they lose the gift card. Yeah, we love a gift card. Oh, and now we have the technology to make sure you never lose a gift card again. And they are, they are ignoring it. They are blissfully naive to that. Jtrain podcast gmail.com J train podcast@gmail.com. i got two more from the listeners. Thank you for sending them in. Thank you for listening to this podcast. I love doing it. My ticked off Tuesday is other people counting the money in your pocket. Hate is something I say a lot. I don't get in the business of counting the money in other people's wallet. It is not a good business to get into this assumption that everyone. The one thing you learn, if you've ever done any amount of financial planning is it's not what you make, it's what you spend. Our stove oven broke last week and it's been a struggle to figure it out and get a new one delivered installed. Obviously this has been a challenge in how we're planning our life. I ordered DoorDash to work twice this week because of this situation and the receptionists. My job commented, must be nice to get delivery all the time. I cook at home. To me that's, that's worth firing the receptionist. Like that receptionist must be the most unlikable person in the office. That is like a crazy thing. Listen, if someone orders from DoorDash twice during the week, my only the saddest loser would ever think, whoa. Oh my God, Mr. Rockefeller. Someone must have won the lottery. Whoa. Getting Thai food and then pizza. Oh, look at Mr. Rich Scrooge. McDuck over here. Like, think of how much of a loser you have to be. And someone could be listening. Like, Jared, be nice to the receptionist. The receptionist's job isn't to comment on everything that comes in. Hey, you've gotten some doordash today. Should I bring it to your desk? That's the job. Truthfully, I shouldn't have felt the need to explain the situation to her because I'm an adult and I'm allowed to order delivery, but it was just really a nasty vibe. No, let me just tell you, this isn't the norm. So I appreciate the complaint, but let's not live in a world where ordering doordash twice to work will automatically get someone going. Wow, must be nice to get delivery all the time. I cook at home. I make my mush and peas at home because I have no money. Like that's like a sad. This is. This is an extreme person. I make my gruel at home because I can only afford that. I don't like this idea that you elevate yourself by victimizing yourself. It happens a lot on the Internet. You know, you say you do a joke about something. Oh my God. I was hanging out with my parents and my parents were so crazy. Lucky you have parents. Oh, I guess you win the loser war. She said it in front of a lot of people as well, which only added insult to injury. Yeah, she is self victimizing to make herself better than you, this receptionist. I mean, honestly, report them to hr. Get rid of this person. Also, I love listening to the Florida updates. It seems like you've built a really nice community there. And you seem very happy, Miles. Well, thank you. I listen, I am happy and I am also sensitive. That's why I have a sixth sense for misery. This person is miserable. Do not let them shame you out of doordash twice a week does not equal. Oh my God, I am around a billionaire. That is crazy. It also does not equal this person's frivolous with their money. It also does not equal anything more than you got door dash twice this week and you like to have a nice lunch or you like to have a lunch. Even the word nice. I shouldn't have added apo. I apologize. Now I'm the fucking misery. Last one, Jared. Love the pot. All your comedy. Thank you. I've seen you live every time you've come to Toronto and can't wait for Valentine's Day and can't wait to share Valentine's Day with you. That's when you're coming here. Next. No, I know. Thank you. I am, I can't tell you how many people I hear from when I go do the meet and greet after the show of repeat people. And I say it to them and I hope they know how much it means to me. It is quite literally, and I'm getting chills while I say this, the greatest compliment in the world to come back to the show. It means so much to me. It makes me so happy. It makes me feel so fulfilled. I hope you know that. And I hope you know these aren't just words coming out of my mouth. I, I truly can't tell you how thankful I am and how much it means to me that we connect on in the, in that way. It is a, it is a true connection to connect over the stuff I talk about on stage. And this, on this podcast, like this podcast is, is a, is this podcast could be cut at the knees at any turn. A bunch of people getting together to complain about the receptionist. Yeah, we could look, we could be made. And I think that's the great disappointment of the Internet. What it's turned into is this place where you have opened yourself up to look bad at all angles. You are vulnerable. If you speak honestly and with nuance, anyone can come up to you and go, oh, you're talking about your parents. Mine are dead. And you go, and you gotta go, I'm so sorry. I guess I shouldn't, you know, talk about how much I love my parents. Like, fuck that shit. I, so I just turned my, my, my happiness into me being angry at a random fake person I just invented. Okay, I'm sorry. Okay, so here's my complaint. I'll see you in Toronto. Make sure you remind me when you come if, if, if, if you come say hello after the show, remind me about this email because I, I, I, I, I will. Thank you in person. My condo comes with a large locker in our building's basement. And my locker is sandwiched between two lockers that seem to only be used to store sports equipment. Now I'm looking at the pictures of the locker. It, it honestly looks like each of the locker, the two lockers they have sent pictures of the, the two piles. The two lockers that the listeners send pictures of look like two different dick sporting goods. Like they look like they have all the sports stuff. Okay. My locker is sandwiched between two lockers that seem to only be used to store sports equipment. One of the guys hangs his jerseys along the wall of my locker and the, and they smell like a strong mix of Smelly feet and sweat. I mean, these lockers also look very Canadian. There's a very hockey theme going on. It smells like what I would assume walking into a high school boys locker room after practice would smell like. I've had guy friends confirm this is accurate. I've reported it to property management and they've sent a letter to the. To the locker owners, one of whom fixed the issue. But the other has left his stinky gear and jerseys to leech into all my items. He's hung them against my locker. See? Attach, pick. So this person has hung all the stuff up against the wall of the locker that they share. Do men not wash their jerseys or do those strong odors just get ingrained in the material? I think it's both. I think they don't wash it. And then on the off time that they do, it's already ingrained and it smells forever. There's a must that goes with a must that goes with all jerseys that don't get washed. And what it looks like is this guy's using his locker as his. Has his locker. It looks like he's using the locker in the basement as his actual locker room. Or do those strong odors get ingrained in the material? I've sprayed Febreze, but I don't want to get in trouble for tampering with items that aren't mine. And there are security cameras in there. What would Papa JT do? Thanks so much. Oh, you're doing it wrong. You need to hang. You need to hang as many good smelling. What are they called? Not for spraying. Febreze is not the answer. It's putting in a bunch of, you know, like, smelling like the. The trees that go in the car is, like, not enough. I would get the strongest. I would get so many that you smoke them out. I would get so. And the spray ones, because of the cameras, you can't do the spray. You can put in your locker on the edge right next to their jerseys. Since you share a wall. You can put that freshener, air freshener right under that. And I would put so many there that the message is sent and hopefully helps it so your stuff doesn't smell as well. I would go buy 30 of them and put them all underneath, open them up at the same time, and now you have created an air freshener bush. And the hell with them, because it's within your rights. I mean, I'm not a lawyer. I would go talk to a lawyer if you really got concerned about it, but I can't really see a hole in the plan I'm giving you even because they're also hanging on the wall their jerseys. So you have the right to hang on that wall as well. I would hang so many air fresheners on that wall that you could barely even see into the next locker. I would also drop a letter underneath the door. Every day I'd print out one letter. I write one letter printed out 30 times one a day. 30 days in the month they're getting a letter and it would be three sentences. Dear locker mate, your stuff is smelling up the whole locker room. I wouldn't draw attention to myself the whole locker room. So you keep it vague. Please wash your things. It's it. The smell is getting into the fibers of the whole lockers clothing like everything in the locker room. Every day a letter huge wall of air fresheners on the wall that they are hanging their shirts. That's my move. Spraying Febreze is too incriminating. You can put up, you cannot spray@jtrain podcastmail.com ticked off Tuesday every Tuesday back next week.