Dungeon & Dragons Energy, Vin Diesel Confidence with Shaun Murphy - CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY

Summary

The JTrain Podcast

Episode: “Dungeon & Dragons Energy, Vin Diesel Confidence with Shaun Murphy – CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY”
Host: Jared Freid
Guest: Shaun Murphy
Date: February 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This Chit Chat Wednesday episode of The JTrain Podcast features comedian Shaun Murphy, whose new special "Long Story Thin" has just been released. Jared and Shaun chat about the realities of stand-up, how comedians evolve, the quirks of their own personalities, and—true to the episode's title—the fine line between nerd and non-nerd culture. The conversation is packed with insightful, funny, and relatable takes on comedy, self-perception, food, fandom, and social labeling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy, Specials, and Performing for Family (00:00–08:41)

• Jared introduces Shaun Murphy, noting how watching fellow comedians’ specials is a “must” to stay current and respect the art, referencing how “every professional golfer does it that way” (03:14).
• Shaun discusses the nerves and realities of performing deeply personal material in front of one’s own or one’s partner’s family:
  • “[Recording the special] was the first time I performed in front of my fiancé's family—so they got to see the full spectrum of, you know, my dick looks like me.” (06:03; Shaun)
  • They explore "if it crushes harder than it’s weird to say in front of your family, funny always wins.” (07:42; Jared)
• The viral Jeselnik soundbite about being able to joke about anything if it's funny enough comes up, with Jared noting: “It annoyed me how viral that went, because…that’s what good comedians have been saying for years.” (08:32)

2. The Value of Watching Comedy and Evolving Onstage (04:44–05:56; 13:05–16:40)

• Shaun describes the humbling moment of seeing a fellow comic, whom he thought he had outgrown, deliver a joke strikingly similar to one of his.
• Jared raises the issue of comedians’ personas evolving with fame—how some cling to “middle class” bits and struggle to write from a new reality, referencing Ray Romano’s stories about changing plane anecdotes. (16:57)

3. Self-Image, Body, and Food Confessions (11:19–13:56; 19:09–25:28)

• Discussion of being typecast by one’s looks—Jared interacts with audience members about body image, while Shaun admits that, due to his build, he wonders if changing it would “break” his comedic persona.
• Jared openly talks about being on weight loss medication (Ozempic/WeGovi) and how it affects his love for food:
  • “When I eat a cookie, I’m not thinking of the next cookie because I’m doing a cookie now. Now I can have seven cookies because I’d just have the one, and it, like, magically feels okay.” (22:55; Jared)
• There's a spirited exchange about favorite cookies, slamming classic cookies like Chips Ahoy and Oreos:
  • “The crunchy Chips Ahoy—get it outta here. I’d rather chew on cardboard than eat that cookie.” (24:31; Jared)
• Shaun reminisces about 90s junk food ads, unlocking hilarious childhood ad memories: “You just unlocked a door in my brain.” (25:43; Shaun)

4. Sleep Patterns and Comedian Life Rhythms (19:31–22:37)

• Jared, an early riser, relates the challenge of balancing a comic’s late nights with the need to wake up early, detailing how moving to Florida changed his routine.
• Shaun contrasts his late comic hours: “This is probably the earliest I’ve ever woken up without having to catch a plane in years.” (21:00; Shaun)

5. Nerd vs. Non-Nerd Identity—The Core Game (26:26–45:47)

• The duo explore what constitutes "nerd" culture, mixing sports, comics, and fandom analysis:
  • Shaun describes his hybrid identity: “I could talk to the jocks about...Buffalo Bills defense…and the nerds about Ocarina of Time.” (30:15)
  • They agree that true nerd cred involves deep, often uselessly specific knowledge—“You have to reference something where you watch the other person’s eyes roll back into their skull.” (35:48; Jared)
• Memorable Exchange:
  • “I don’t know if I consider book nerd. Is that crazy for me to say?...I think it needs to be more specific.” (44:25; Shaun; discussing Emma Watson)
• The line blurs between perceived nerdiness, personal interests, and societal labels.

6. “Nerd or Not?” Game (36:15–45:47)

A lightning round where Jared lists celebrities, and Shaun discriminates “real nerds” from “fake” ones, using public knowledge and hype:

• Vin Diesel: “You have to be very, very nerdy to counteract that. And he loves Dungeons and Dragons so much. That tracks.” (41:08–41:21; Shaun)
• Stephen Colbert: “He’s not like a 7 out of 10 Lord of the Rings, he’s like a 12 out of 10…that's nerd to me.” (42:00; Shaun)
• Zachary Levi: “This feels like corporate nerd…here’s how I commoditized.” (42:56; Jared; 43:01; Shaun)
• Emma Watson: “If you just…read, you know, 50, 75 books last year, is that necessarily nerdy?” (45:20; Shaun)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On performing personal material:
  “If it’s funnier than it is mean, it always wins. If it crushes harder than it is weird to say in front of your family, buddy—funny always wins.”
  (07:42, Jared)

• On comedians imitating each other and humility:
  “I remember…there was this comic, in the back of my mind I kind of thought I was better than. And then I saw him do…the exact same joke—I have. Like, same parallel thinking. I was like, oh, okay. I’m like, to get way better if I humble better than this person.”
  (04:44, Shaun)

• On food and body perception:
  “You spoke my mind. You know how many guys after shows ask me where I got my shirt?...Love your shirt, like—the first thing out of his mouth.”
  (11:54, Jared)

• On balancing sports and nerd culture:
  “I could talk to the jocks…but then I could talk to the nerds about Ocarina of Time and stuff like that. And I could kind of play both sides.”
  (30:15, Shaun)

• On "corporate nerd" identity:
  “Here’s how I made money off of nerds.”
  (42:56, Jared; 42:59, Shaun)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Stand-up & Family, Cancel Culture in Comedy: 05:27–08:41
• Body image, Ozempic, and Cookie Rankings: 13:05–25:28
• Routine, Sleep, Early Risers vs. Night Owls: 19:31–22:37
• Nerd Identity & Cross-Cultural Traits: 26:26–35:48
• Buffalo, Sports Fandom & Humility: 30:49–34:58
• Nerd or Not Game & Celebrity Examples: 36:15–45:47

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Final Thoughts & Plug

Jared encourages listeners to check out Shaun’s special “Long Story Thin” on Mark Normand’s YouTube channel:
“It’s joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. It is 41 minutes. It is. Sit on the couch, on your phone.” (00:49)

Shaun wraps up with:
“I hope you kill at the open mic. And I hope we both have Tates later today.” (45:54)

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Listen to the episode for more rich banter and behind-the-scenes glimpse into the realities and humor of modern comedy!

Transcript

[A]

Chit chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them, too. Chit chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week, too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a ch Chat Wednesday, too. Hello, and welcome to the J Train podcast. Is J Train Jared Freed come to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, it's a Chit chat Wednesday. Every Wednesday, I sit with a comedian, an expert, a friend. Today we got two out of three. I or I got one out of three. I got one. I got a comedian. I got a comedian. We, we will be friends by the end of this, I'm sure. Cause he seems like a good guy. I don't know what he's an expert in. I, I, I don't want to be a. We have, I have a game prepared for the end, and I'm, I'm hoping I'm not misremembering a bit that you had. And, but he's on here because he's funny and I've seen him around the Cellar and he has a new special out called Long Story Skinny that I just watched, I think about two thirds of. Loved it. Great. Funny. Got it. Look at every comedian surprised when you watch their special. And I, I, I have, I've done that. Listen, I've done this, I've done this podcast, to be perfectly honest with people, where I haven't watched it, and I know I can push people to them. And now I'm, you know, and then sometimes I'm like, I got the time. Let's, let's watch it. Let's see it. It's so funny. You're gonna, you're gonna love it. It's joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. It is. 41 minutes. It is. Sit on the couch, on your phone.

[B]

On the cell right there. Under an hour, baby.

[A]

You'Re at the Cellar. It's just an easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl special. Sean Murphy, thank you for coming on the show. Great to meet you.

[B]

Thank you for having me. How do you feel in watching comedy? Easy for you?

[A]

Tough for you, not easy, right?

[B]

Yeah, for you. For a lot of comedians, it's tough for.

[A]

I like watching comedy at the Cellar because I'm like, it's 15 minutes and it's like, I get what they're doing. How do you like it?

[B]

It's tough for me. I try to do it, though. I try to force myself to do It. I feel like it's good to have in your brain. You know, I always think, like, Martin Scorsese watches movies, so shouldn't I be, like, watching stuff to. To get that in my brain to see what people are up to?

[A]

Who am I to not do with Martin Soros, Casey's doing? And it's like, my dad does that with golf. He's like, I. You know, when you golf, are you a golfer? Have you golfed?

[B]

I've never golfed once in my life.

[A]

Okay. So there's a process to coming up to the tee. And he's like, every golfer stands behind the ball and looks at the looks and sees where he's going. And then he's like, you don't do that. But every professional golfer does it. So who's right? Every. He goes, 100%. He goes. Even if you think it's bullshit, a hundred percent of professional. The best in the world are saying, what you're doing is totally wrong, Jared. And you have to take that seriously.

[B]

Yeah. I think if a lot of other artists, if we consider ourselves that do a thing, are what we're too good to do that thing.

[A]

Who are we? Who are. And I, you know, I live in Delray now, and I come back to the city, and you got to know what people are talking about if you're on the same page, if you're, you know, what it sounds like to hear a good comedian, what it sounds like to hear a bad comedian, what it sounds like when someone's doing a bit. Like, it became very apparent, you know, Covid became this really good benchmark for hack. Not hack. When I saw someone doing mask bits three years later, I'm like, let it go, man. Let it go. Like, we. It better be the best mask bit that gets me to a place that gets to know you personally and vulnerably, that I couldn't believe I got there, or you're fucking lazy. You know, like, it's like, yeah. And it's like, we didn't really have that before COVID Because you could be like, someone could be like, I've My kids. When the kids were born. And then, you know, like, you know, you're backstage with them, they're like, yeah, my kids are 25 now. And you're like, what? You know, like, you wouldn't know.

[B]

It just. It also just ends up being eye opening. I remember, like, years ago, there was this comic in the back of my mind. I kind of thought I was better then. And then I saw him do the. An exact Same joke. I, I have like, like same parallel thinking. I was like, oh, okay. I'm like to get way better if I humble better than this person, you know.

[A]

Right, right, right. And it is one of those, you know, like I'm so. I, I think more and more I'm watching. I'm more drawn to stand up specials and just watching them. But it's very funny. I want everyone to go watch it. It is on YouTube right now. It is called long story Skinny. Okay. I like giving away bits here. When we have someone on with a special. I hope you don't mind, but I.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

It is about having a skinny dick. And do you have your family come to shows? Do they go like, is that a moment where you go, I gotta say I have a skinny dick in front of mom and dad. And this is a very funny bit. And, and it's, and I, I like that you were like, I look like my, my dick looks like me. Which like that is, that made me like, oh, that's the funny. That's fucking hilarious. I'm sure that crush was every dot I.

[B]

The special recording was the first time I performed in front of my fiance's family.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

So they got to see the full spectrum of, you know, my dick looks like, looks like me. Here's a little bit more about my dick. You know, here's, here's how many times I fucked. You know, they get to, they get to hear it all.

[A]

Yeah. How did that go? Did it, was there any mention of it? I have people say this to me and I'm always like, I don't. My parents, what do they care? Like, I didn't really, I didn't say anything I wouldn't say to my parents. But you know, I, I did have that thought of like, do you get approached by women who. Or have you before you with your fiance? Was there like, I'm a skinny dick lady? Like, was that happening for you?

[B]

Like I, in my mind it was going to happen all the time.

[A]

Right, right, right. People don't realize that stand up comics are about 70% love doing it. 30%. This is all to let women know that like what they could be having if they approach me after the show.

[B]

Right, yeah. And it like doesn't never work. But there's a little bit of. In your mind, you think like, oh yeah, maybe this bit. Because they could come up and I'm so confident and I talk about this and that and you're like, yeah, that rarely happens. Normally it's some guy who's like, so how'd you start? Comedy?

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

You're like, oh, okay, here we go.

[A]

So would you have anything with the fiance's family? Were there like any mention or were they just like, we loved it.

[B]

It was pretty, it was pretty easy. I think. You get to. You do it long enough and you're like, my parents are going to hear this, my friends are going to hear this. And it's just like, once the bit's good enough, maybe you don't want to see them do it. When you're working it out and there's a lot of nonsense in there, but once it's good enough, you're like, this is, this is fine.

[A]

It's one of those things where it's like. And it's like when people say, you know, are you going to get canceled? You know, the. When someone asks about canceling and it's like, if it's funnier than it is mean, it always wins. If it's funnier than it is, if it crushes harder than it is weird to say in front of your family, buddy always wins. And it's like, it's a lesson for life too. Like, people are like, you know, when do I make a joke? How do I make a joke? Well, if it's funny, you're always going to get let off the hook. No one's going to. It's, it's like charm, you know, like, oh, that guy's charming. That's why you can call every woman baby, you know, like, it's that, it's.

[B]

That great Jesel neck thing that went viral of like, it's, it's. You got to get away with it, you know, like. Right. If you're, if it's good enough to get away with it, then no one has a problem with it. Right?

[A]

And it's. Yeah, I, The Jeselnik thing, I was like, it annoyed me how viral that went because like, I was like, that's what good comedians have been saying for years.

[B]

Like, yes.

[A]

You know, like, it's like the. I. We've, you know, we're stuck in this time of the, like this horrific time of like the only. The most horrific people get, you know, the microphone. And it's like you have to be already famous enough to like make a good point about what's going on. And it's like Jessica had that great combination of like, famous enough, you know, thought of highly enough to like say something that's completely normal and not that high minded, you know, like, it's like, yeah, that's Funny. This is the whole point of comedy is like, you can say things that are crazy because you worked hard enough to write the thing to make it good enough to get away with it. And he said it in a very efficient way. You know, he's great at efficiency.

[B]

You have a very smart point. It goes nowhere. And, you know, Billie Eilish is like, you gotta eat every day. And people are like, this is something, right, Billie Eilish.

[A]

That old Billie Eilish saying, just, you know, eat your vegetables. Okay, thanks. You know, there's a nutrition house nutritionist out there that's like, God damn it, Billy. I guess I'm happy people are eating their vegetables, but. So I. I wanted to ask you the. This. I. I think everyone would be better off with a podcast because they can talk to people that they've seen around in a way that they can just ask them any question that they want.

[B]

That's a great point.

[A]

You're like, let me come on the show. I'm like, well, I have many questions.

[B]

What?

[A]

Why do you spell your name that way as opposed to the other weird way? Sean never spelled how Sean could be. I guess it's an Irish name. So Irish names spelled weird. Generally, you're S, H, A, U, N. How does that happen?

[B]

I. You know what? I should have a podcast with my parents and ask them the same question. I don't know, but it's very. I feel like Sean's hate it. Non. Sean's kind of like it because I.

[A]

Think the E made it easy on us.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly. 100%. And not a lot of you. Sean's out there. I feel like the U. Sean big in the black community. A lot of.

[A]

That's what I was gonna ask. Is that a black Sean? I was like, is it. Is it, like a woman Sean that you're, like, named after an aunt? Is it white? That's what I was like. There was like, could be. Right? Like, that's what I was, like, wondering. Because I'm seeing the spelling and I'm going, never. Like, I've seen it. It's just.

[B]

Yeah, it was. You know, Shaun of the Dead was big for me in college. That was a new representation. We got Sean the sheep. That was it. That was a kids thing. That was big. And that's really about it. Not a lot of. I think it's a lazy Irish thing. Sean Paul, my guess is, I think he's ea. Isn't he ea?

[A]

I don't know. I'm. I'm. You're the Sean. I'm I, I'm. Yeah, I came to you, I think.

[B]

In the back of my mind to know every Sean's, how they're spelled, now that I think about it, give me any Sean. I know, I know how they smell. And John Paul's got to be ea.

[A]

What did you eat today? You don't look like a food guy. And, and I don't, I don't mean that as a negative thing, but like, I've never, like, I, I wouldn't look at you and go, I got to get a food recommendation from this guy. Like, and, and that's the thing about looks. Like, we all have to deal with our look. Like, in a way. Like, I go on stage, I talk a lot about body issues. I go on stage and then I have some people that are like, you spoke my mind. I, you know how many guys after shows ask me where I got my shirt? Because it's like, boyfriend of a girl who would date me with a guy who has the same body type as me. Like, dude, love your shirt. Like, the first thing out of his mouth is like, I had a guy in the picture line, he's looking at my sweater. I was like, I don't even know what it's from. He's like, I'm like, check the tag. It's like. And then there's like, guys in line, like, tell us what it is. We were going to ask about your shirt too. Like, I, what is your value? What is your, like, Yeah, I think.

[B]

About that a lot. Do you, do you have the same problem there? Like, I've been 63150, you know, for years, and I worry that if I change, that would, like, my whole sense of self would crumble down.

[A]

I, I'm on OIC right now. And I love, I'm on, like, what am I on? WeGovi, one of the brands. But OIC is now Kleenex, you know, for tissues. You know, like, it's. And that was my only thought going in. Like, will I lose who I am? Like, the struggle I have with eating and, and it. Honestly, I don't give a shit. Like, I am. I'm like, you know, and I have that struggle with dating. I talk a lot about dating. I have a dating book. If you're watching, listening, I'll plug myself.

[B]

Yeah, plug it in.

[A]

Pre order.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

You can see it on YouTube. I'm holding up the book. It's. It is a real thing. Walking red flag. You can. It's in the link is in the bio. I'm number 41 right now in dating books before it's even up.

[B]

So that's good.

[A]

Let's get it going. Let's get to number one. We're almost there. Climbing the charts, walking red flags. So yeah, with dating, like I, but I, I think for us, like if you were g. You, you talk about in the special you are a babysitter for twin 10 year old boys. Do you still do that? We are sponsored. Ultra pouches. If you're looking to cut back on stimulants but still want a little treat, check out Ultra pouches. Ultra PO pouches are designed for mental clarity and enhanced focus, giving you the same kick as a nicotine pouch without the side effects. Ultra pouches are nicotine free and caffeine free, but packed with powerful nootropics and vitamins. I have tried these. They come in amazing flavors. I had, I think it was the, like the fruit punch one. It was really good and I did feel focused and it was like, you know, it's like one of those things that it was like a fidget spinner. It was like, I like chewing gum. I like having something to chew on. I chew on ice. If you're someone that like, that helps you focus in, plus it's gonna have nootropics and vitamins. I loved it. I loved the experience and it really did make me feel like I could focus more. Ultra is trusted by top athletes, entrepreneurs and engineers. 90% of Ultra users saw improvements in their overall focus level. Ultra is the ultimate guilt free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use Code J train to get 15% [e-mail] that's take ultra.com for 15% off with code J Train. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them, support the show and tell them J Train sent you.

[B]

I don't do that. I don't do that anymore.

[A]

You did at the time.

[B]

It was, oh great. Great con. I love when you're a struggling comedian finding those great jobs where you only got to work like 15, 20 hours a week and it's kind of in the day and then you can still kind of hustle and do your spots and make, you know, 10 grand a year perfect and the rest of your life and you know, so that was, it was a perfect job for me for a couple years.

[A]

Well, they ask you that. You said the kids asked you what we, you know, they were talking about what you would do with a million dollars. And then the kids were like, that's nothing. That's no money. And you're like, I have never made a million dollars in my whole entire life. So you're talking about that. And it's like, like, but if someone gave you a million dollars, do you worry that you can't make those jokes anymore? Like your look yourself comic spot? Like, these are all things you have to evolve with or you don't evolve.

[B]

I think. And I'll actually tie it to the earlier conversation about watching specials. I think you see a lot of comedians, they're middle class, they hit it big, they make money. And then they're like, it's not. They haven't really figured out how to make the comedy work as well.

[A]

I think they go to cancel culture. That's why they go to politics. They're afraid to tell stories. I remember I saw Ray Romano on stage. Who? I don't, you know, if Ray Romano gets mad at me, I'll be the luckiest guy in the, in the world. He's not watching this. But Ray Romano goes on stage and he tells a whole story about flying, and then he comes off stage and he's like, all of that was on a private plane. It wasn't a real, you know, it wasn't, you know, he had to change it from private plane to commercial. I can understand that change. But yeah, I don't, you know, Like, I, I guess in this day and age, it would be hard if he's posting on Instagram stories about his private plane and then going on stage and being like, so Delta was annoying. You'd be like, no, I just saw. You have to grow. I, I think, like, the Internet has created this world where, like, no lies can be told, you know, or you better like, like, how do you, you know?

[B]

Or you're able to shift. I think that's why whenever I see him at the seller, it's very much like relationships. It's very much like his wife, his kids. Because it's like, probably one of the only things that it's relatable to the average person left, you know, like, because he can't do as much stuff about, like, grocery prices, you know. Well, I just spend, I just spend $8 on a box of Cheez Its. But like, he, he's not thinking that, like, that's like, like that could be a potential bit for me, but. Right.

[A]

But it's lost to him. Even if he notices, if he were to notice that cheez its cost $8 and how crazy that is, he would also have to acknowledge I'M noticing it while having a billion dollars. Like, like, like, which is funny. Like, I, I think that makes it more like I'm doing a story on stage right now about going to Santro Pay alone. I don't think that's the most relatable topic. Like, I don't think going to say. If I explained, hey, come to my show where I'm talking about going to San Tropez. I don't think Sean Murphy would be like, oh, I gotta be at that show. But if it's like traveling alone and should I. Do I want to be in a relationship or not? Do I like being alone? Do I like approaching women? Like, it's all about that. You go, well, it's not a story about Santrope.

[B]

It's about, you know, me going, exactly, exactly.

[A]

You know, but do you worry, like, what do you get? Do you get things? What's the feedback on, you know, tall, skinny? Are you a food guy? What's the, What's.

[B]

Yeah, I wanted, I wanted to talk about, I want to answer that question because I, you say, what have you eat so far today? Today? Nothing.

[A]

I'm so, I'm 9:52am so that's okay.

[B]

I know. I feel like that's a. Are you an, are you an early guy?

[A]

I am an early guy who struggled with that, with comedy because I would just wake up. Yeah, I would just wake up. So then, like, I would need the 3 o' clock nap because it was the only way I could do shows, but I couldn't not wake up early. So, like now, because I'm in Delray, like tonight, I'm gonna start. I would love to hear what you think about this, but I, I, I, you know, when I'm here, it's been nice to not do shows. I kind of needed the separation. I was like doing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every night and I, I was like, I need to write more. Like, if I'm gonna be honest, like, I hope this forces me to write more than I was, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And stage time I can, I can deal with. But that is all to say, like, I, the wait, where was I going? I, I keep losing my throat train of thought.

[B]

That's okay, you're up too early.

[A]

No, the early. Yeah, I was. So when I'm here, I can go to bed at 11 and I wake up at 6, 10, go to the gym 7 to 8. And then I did a walk by the beach. I mean, like, this is like, like in New York, there's no beach to walk. If I walk it's like I'll, you know, jump into the river and end my life after 10 minutes, you know, like, so I asked you to do 9:30. I was like, I, I hope he's okay with that.

[B]

Yeah, I was. I mean I had to. This is probably the earliest I've ever woken up without having to catch a plane in years. Because I'm on those, I'm on those late shows. I'm doing those late shows. So I'm, you know, my bedtime's like 2 to 3 and then I wake up 10:30 to 11:30, which you're right.

[A]

Like, it was just like, it was like this hard. I think the tough part about doing comedy is like, I am working, I am doing a thing. I deserve to sleep until 10:30 even though it's like fucking crazy because I.

[B]

Have like friends working regular jobs, they give me shit. I'm like, you go to bed at 10:30, I'm getting the same amount of sleep as you. I don't understand why you can't look at me like sleeping at 9:30 and get jealous. We got the same amount of sleep, right?

[A]

And they're getting 8:00pm to 10:00 clock come down. We, we, yeah, we underrate the, the come down from a day. Like I think we go, oh, I like that. AM get off stage at 2am, bed at 3 is not a normal thing for a human being. You usually in a normal world they'd be like, get home. What shows are we watching? Let me get myself, my body kind of drifts into like. I think there's like an element of being a stand up comedian that like trains you for like, like in the way they train soldiers, they're like, I sleep standing up for 10 minutes and then I go on my day. Like we have a version of that. Not to say we're just like soldiers. I hope no one takes that away.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Now what? Now are you a, are you a food guy?

[A]

I'm the. I love it. I love, I love talking about it. I love ordering it. I love. That was my fear with the, the, the Ozempic was like, okay, am I gonna like not want to eat? But that's not what's happened. It's more like ADD medication and.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's like, like, it's like I've not obsessed with it. Like when I eat a cookie, I'm not thinking of the next cookie because I'm doing a cookie now. Now I can have seven cookies because I'm just like, I'll have the one and it, like, magically feels okay. Like, even last night, I. I ate a bunch of shit before bed in the way I eat a bunch of shit before bed. But, like, I was done. Like, I didn't.

[B]

Now, do you have a go to cookie? What are we talking on the cookie? Chocolate. On the cookie front? Chocolate chip. Yeah, you get it. Tough to beat. Tough to beat. I like anything with peanut butter.

[A]

Love a peanut butter base on a froyo.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Peanut butter base, chocolate topping, always.

[B]

Okay, now I gotta say, I like. I. Tate's great cookie.

[A]

Tate's is great. It's. I like. I like crunch and chew. Tates is all crunch, no chew, which I'm okay with. But you're. I want, like, Tates. I like eating like they're a chip. I had Tates on a flight recently. JetBlue serves Tates as like, a mini Tate in a bag. Like, it's like getting, like, a bag of Cape Cod potato chips, but they're dates. Yeah, it was pretty good, but I wanted, like, a bucket of them.

[B]

Yet. Tates are incredibly it. It's very tough to have, like, one Tate. Tates and thin Mints. You kind of want to eat by the sleeve.

[A]

Yes, absolutely.

[B]

I will say, a lot of the bigger cookies, to me, have really lost their way. An Oreo a Chips Ahoy. I would say. Get that out of my goddamn face.

[A]

I'm with Ahoy. I thought the soft baked Chips Ahoy was fantastic. I always thought that was like, a really good cookie. The crunchy Chips Ahoy. Get it out of here. Not into it. I would rather chew on cardboard than eat that cookie. That is a bad cookie. It's. You know what it reminds me of? I thought the chip Chips Ahoy came out the same time as the iced tea. Lipton iced tea. And I thought they were equally bad and also equally as widespread. Those were two. That was a food and a drink that was in every high school cafeteria. And it was just bad. And yeah, their better counterpoints. Snapple and any other cookie. Yeah, we're not as.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Widespread.

[B]

Yeah, very. I. Hey, I think you're on to something there. Lipton was weirdly big for, like, 10 years. Remember, they had the. The Rocky. Like an animated commercials. You're. You're.

[A]

You just unlocked a door in my brain.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And he was like. He was like a stop animation Rocky.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

He was like. It was like those claymation and you're like that. That commercial, the Eminem's commercial, where it's like, he really is real. He is. They Are real.

[B]

Everywhere.

[A]

Everywhere. The Tootsie Roll commercial with the owl. A one, a two, a three. That was on for a hundred years. Did you have a joke? Whereas, like, I look like a nerd, but I'm not a nerd. And I get. Was that, was that you?

[B]

I don't think so. Although I, that, I mean, that kind of tracks with my, my life. I am a bit of a nerd, but I like, I love sports and I love, you know, I have, I have some non nerd qualities for the way I look.

[A]

I, I Do you get the nerd guy that, that, that approaches you at a show and is like, you and I are one in the same. Like, I get that. Like, do you get that in the way I get the guy who can't fit in the T shirt?

[B]

Yeah, I think I, I definitely get some people that are kind of like, even if I don't bring things up of like, oh, this is the guy I could share my opinions on Star wars with, you know, Star Wars. And they can, they can, absolutely. But even if I don't talk about it, I, you know, I have that vibe that people, they could see Star.

[A]

Wars or Star Trek, Star Wars. Did you love Andor.

[B]

Oh, it's the best, one of the best shows I've seen in the past couple of years. Incredible.

[A]

I think that's the best show I've ever seen. I. And it's really hard to tell people about it because they're out, they're like, it's Star wars. No go.

[B]

Because I feel like, yeah, you tell people about it. They're like, what? And I tell people about it. We're like, yeah, of course you're gonna say that. Yeah, yeah. Like there's no, there's no like, middle person who's really, who could get people to watch the show. Right.

[A]

You have the look of. I talk about Andor at every opportunity I get.

[B]

But, but on the other end, I've never, maybe it came a bit too late for me. I've never given a shit about Harry Potter. Yeah.

[A]

I think. How old are you?

[B]

I am 40.

[A]

I think you and I are 40. We are literally one high school class, one high school four above Potter age. Because my brother, whose name is Harry, is a huge. Read them all, like in his room reading the book. And in my mind I was like, he must like it because his name is Harry. But that's what I thought growing up. I was like, oh, he's reading it. Cause it's a Harry book. He wants to read Harry. Not realizing Everyone his age was reading Harry Potter. But I'm with you. Just missed it.

[B]

Just missed it with an ex. I watched all the movies. Didn't get it. Just the movies were fine.

[A]

I remember going to the first one when it came out, knowing that it was a big deal and going, nothing happened. Where's Voldemort? You know, like, we got, like, a whisk. We got, like, a wisp of Voldemort. And I'm like, we don't get him yet. What the. Like, we don't get him in the fourth movie, right?

[B]

Fourth movie. He shows up after, oh, weird. If you don't get Harry Potter. And I think this is probably with a lot of, like, geek properties that are so inside baseball. These movies seem insane to you. Like, like, the. The movie he shows up is, like. Because it's a book series. Like, there's an entire movie of them, like, at the, like, Harry Potter Olympics. And you're like, what the fuck am I watching? And I, as a sports person, I spent the whole time arguing with my ex about, like, how Quidditch doesn't make sense. And I'm like, this is like, a nerd making a sports thing. There's no. Like, the game mechanics are ridiculous. And she's like, no. It's, like, just annoyed at me for trying to. Probably being an asshole about how this. Like, no one would watch this in real life.

[A]

Do you have a lot of that where you have the mix of sports and nerd culture and you have to, like. You have to see one from the other angle? Like, is that a big thing for you?

[B]

I think so. I think so, yeah. Because I got kind of both in my brain. Like, I'd be in high school, and I was like, you know, I could talk to the jocks about, like, the Buffalo Bills defense, and then I could talk to the nerds about, like, Ocarina of Time and stuff like that. And I could kind of play both sides. Was that over your head?

[A]

Ocarina of Time? Like, I. I like to think I could talk about both, but you just brought up a. A thing that I don't even have any relation to at all.

[B]

It's a big Legend of Zelda game. Nerd64.

[A]

Are you from Buffalo?

[B]

I am, yeah.

[A]

So you're a Bills fan?

[B]

Big time. Big time.

[A]

Do you relate to what I. So I'm sorry about this season.

[B]

That's okay. We're used to it.

[A]

I know. Well, do you relate? I think Buffalo is, like, the most insecure place I've ever been. And I say that we loving doing shows in Buffalo. Like, I have people that come. I do the helium. I like it there, but it is a tough. I have to kind of, like, sift through all this, like, crap. Everyone asked me. I've done this bit here. People who listen to the. This podcast a lot know that I am, like, they're always like, do you like Buffalo? Like, I. I've never had that asked of me of any other place.

[B]

Well, yeah, there is a. There's definitely some of that there. There also is a little bit of, like, I don't know, like, humbleness that I think is. Is fun. Like, Dan Soter was telling me he went to a Bills game and he was rooting for the other team. He's like, you know, we're going to fucking beat you. And, like, the bill stands for, like. I mean, probably, right? You know, like, there's a bit of, like, we. We're so used to, like, losing in the cold, in the snow, that there's a little.

[A]

No, I. I'm on the other side of that. I don't. I'll buy it. When you win. Like, you. The measure of a fandom is who they are when they win, not when they lose. You have to say, well, you'll probably beat us because you want to get ahead of it, because you've always lost. The minute you hold that belt and you're the champion, then we see how humble you are, how nice you are. Like, everyone. No one cared about the Patriots until we won a thousand Super Bowls in a row. And then they were like, oh, these guys are assholes. These guys are dicks.

[B]

There's definitely some of that. But you could tell. I mean, we've all seen poor losers in our life. You know, they're. That. You could. You could. You could.

[A]

No one cares about a poor loser. There's no, like. There's no, like, power you have over people.

[B]

There's no power. But you could show your true colors. You could throw the Monopoly board.

[A]

You know, you could. Yeah, poor Lou. I guess in that sense, you're right. But I guess there's no way to do that. Like, I guess a poor loser would be, in a football sense. An NFL sense would be, like, going outside and, like, having fun after the game. Like, but I actually, like, like, not being mad enough. You're like, no, no, I need you, like, upset. Like, you lost. Like, let me have you.

[B]

You could be. You could be too mad. Because I think growing up in a sports culture, this is almost a thing I had to Learn as an adult. You. You got to get to a point where you're like, what am I doing here? Why am I. Why am I mad at, like, these people that have no. Doesn't relate to my life in any real way. So you gotta be like, that's always a thing. Learning as an adult of, like, I gotta live my life. I have a thing to do after this game. I could be mad for, like, two minutes, but then I gotta, like, live my goddamn life here.

[A]

Right? I mean, my brother is a coach for the Bears, so I've become a Bears fan as an adult. And I also moved away from Boston when I was 8, 18 years old. I moved to go to college, and then I went to New York. So I. You know, it's really hard to follow a hometown team when you're not in the hometown. I'm sure, you know, Bill's Bills.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's. You can find a Bills bar in New York City, but you're still away from the madness, the. The Tuesday, Wednesday of it all, where people are talking about it at work. You don't get that?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, my fiance didn't even understand. It's like, we. We go back to Buffalo, and it's like everyone there is obsessed with sports to, like, like, an insane degree. People are talking about Bills. People have the Savers games on. It's like, that's like, standard, you know? Right. And she came from a house that's like, that. That's not like, you know, we go to her. Her parents for Thanksgiving, and I'm like, why isn't football on for 12 hours?

[A]

Right.

[B]

This is. This is crazy. We just talked. Yeah.

[A]

We have to deal with our own thoughts. Is that why you guys are, like, really good at communicating?

[B]

Yeah. Like, this isn't how we do it back home. We put the game on, and we occasionally make a comment to your family every once in a while.

[A]

Do you ever get upset with people who call themselves a nerd but don't have, like, the.

[B]

The nerd look? Oh, the nerd look. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, A little bit. Because I think. I mean, I don't know if. Mad that maybe math too intense, but the. The person who's like, you haven't. You haven't, like, earned your stripes, you know? Right. Like, especially because now everyone's. Everyone's seen, like, a superhero movie and blah, blah, blah. So, like, the. You need more cred, you know, at this point, so that, I mean, at least play through multiple ocarinas of time. You. At least. You need you need multiple Zeldas under your belt here, right?

[A]

You have to reference something where you watch the other person's eyes roll back into their skull because you mentioned it. To know what it's like to not relate to the greater public. Like Ocarina. I'm like Macarena. Do they dance? Like, I have. I'm straight to Macarena. Like, I don't even know. So I actually want to play a game with you, nerd or not, I love it. Okay.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I have some celebrities, some well known public figures here. We're gonna go over whether this. And this is literally, I googled, you know, well known nerds, and then it gave reasons. So, like, I like this because we ask AI questions and it comes back with answers that are, like, sourced from the Internet. So, like, if found actual descriptions for why these people are nerds, I wanted to ask you if you would accept them.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I like this, this, this. And I want everyone to go watch the special. Sean Murphy is hilarious. Long story skinny.

[B]

I've watched Long Story Thin, by the way.

[A]

Lots. Long story thin. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's on Mark Norman's YouTube channel, which. That's great. I love that you're doing that. Like, I love that you go. You know, Mark has this huge audience and he's sharing it with you. And we want to, like, bring a whole new world into Sean's world because our audience is going to be a little bit different than Mark Norman's. Like, I've known Mark for years, but we definitely have different crews, you know, that, like our stuff, which would be cool to have, you know, like some J Train people float over into Sean's world. So comment, let them know that you came from the J Train podcast. If you watch on YouTube now, market, save it. Make. Make it a. I think 41 minutes. Great toilet special.

[B]

100%.

[A]

I'm gonna do 20 on the toilet with that. Like, you know, put a little bookmark, come back to it.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Oh, also, I want to ask you. So I found an open mic here in Delray. Would you do one of two things if you were me? Would you show up and just pay the 10 bucks and go and, like, put your name in the bucket and see what happens? Because it's an 8pm open mic that goes until 10. That's a long time. But I don't mind hanging out. Like, I don't mind, like, time, but I'm not going on stage every night here. I'm only doing one thing. I'm going to Go prepared with like, but I, it's going to be like they said, three to five minutes. I'll probably do seven. Like I'm planning on going long at the open mic hire.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, but I don't do you. Would you message the person ahead of time?

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

Cuz I was planning on not.

[B]

Here's what I. Here's what I would do. I would go incognito. First one, see if they offer it to you in the future.

[A]

So you go, you do it. You sign up. Like anyone else would sign up.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Not like I'm New York, I'm, I'm showing up. And then see if they're like, hey, if anytime you want to come because I just found out this stage space, go ahead.

[B]

Oh, I was just gonna say then they could offer it to you. So then you don't gotta feel like that. And worst case scenario, maybe it sucks, maybe the vibe sucks, maybe you're just. So then you don't gotta ask for a favor for a thing you don't want to do in the future. Right?

[A]

You're right. You're absolutely right. So I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna go, I have dinner at 6 and they're gonna go straight to the Arts Garage. This place called the Arts Garage, they do shows here. Like it's like a really cool space and it's downtown and I saw it. It's funny. They have like Tuesday nights, they have open mics. But like the first Monday of, first Tuesday of the month is comedy, which is today. The first, the second Tuesday is like anything open mic. The third Tuesday is like music. The fourth Tuesday is like, you know, whatever. So every Tuesday there's an open mic that I could technically do and I'm like, I've been kind of like holding off on comedy here, but this could be like a really good thing for me. I'm like, I could go in there and do a five minute story.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Down listen to it, hear if there's anything there. You know, like I could really use it if I, you know, it's this thing of standup. Like, do I have the balls? You know, like we think when we go over the seller, it's almost easier than going up at the open bike in a random town where you don't know anyone. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. Because you're kind of locked in, you know what you're doing, you know, the bits have, have worked, you know, 99 times out of 100. So it's, it's It's a little bit. As opposed to like doing new thing. You know, you're always like, ah, what comes next? You're fumbling. Right. You know.

[A]

Okay, well, I'll let you know how it goes. Okay, so nerd or not a nerd?

[B]

Okay, here we go. The.

[A]

The special. Long story thin. Sean Murphy, spelled with a U. Vin Diesel, a longtime Dungeons and Dragons player who even wrote the introduction to a 30th anniversary D& D book.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He's a nerd.

[B]

I was, I was hoping you would bring him up because I think he is 100% a nerd.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Because I think to be what we were talking about earlier, to be hot, you have to be so nerdy. Not that he's hot, but he's like, you know, he's a man. He's a manly.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He's a not nerd. Presenting a guy. You have to be very, very nerdy to counteract that. And he loves Dungeon and Dragons so much. That tracks.

[A]

You knew he liked Dungeons and Dragons.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Have you played Dungeons and Dragons?

[B]

I have not. Not my. Not. Not my bag. I would it not, but it's just not my.

[A]

You never got in the world. But you knew he was like, this is what he does.

[B]

Yes. He loves it. That's how much I, I don't even. I'm not in that world and I know he loves it. So that's, that's how I know he's a nerd.

[A]

I was like, this guy is co opting the nerd community. I don't like it. Okay, Vin Diesel nerd.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Stephen Colbert, renowned for his deep expert level knowledge of J.R.R. tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

[B]

I, I also say nerd. I've heard him talk about Lord of the Rings. He's. He's not like a 7 out of 10. Lord of the Rings, he's like a 12 out of 10. Which again, I think, I think that gives you enough credence. Even though he's a kind of good looking guy. I. That, that's nerd. That's nerd to me. Okay.

[A]

Zachary Levi, co founder of the Nerd Machine and host of Nerd hq.

[B]

Now this, I. I'm not as familiar with him. I'm gonna say not a nerd because this feels like corporate nerd. Like I think he is. He has some nerdiness to him. I won't take it away from him. But like I want to see more of the knowledge base before I give him the stamp of approval. Right.

[A]

It's not. It like when You're. When you're description is. Here's how I, you know, commoditized.

[B]

Here's how I made money off of nerds.

[A]

Right?

[B]

You go.

[A]

I don't know. I will say eccentric because he kind of went heavy non vax.

[B]

He. He went right.

[A]

He anti vax in a way that maybe, you know, that should be accounted for with those opinions where you're like, this guy. It hit him in a way that he was willing to throw away a whole I'm a superhero career. He was Shazam and played a.

[B]

Well, yeah. Well. And then that's interesting because like on a limb, if you're anti vaxx, that has to counter your nerd cred because scientists and doctors are. They're medical nerds if nothing else.

[A]

But I guess nerd would go eccentric so you could be preyed upon for needing to take this alternate route to things.

[B]

I don't know. I. That could be.

[A]

I don't mind when I disagree with someone as long as they have a straight line to it. Like, I need to get. How did you get to that? And this actually helps me understand him more because I was always like, this guy. Why would he do like, he must be a real asshole if he needs to do this. Like, like. But okay. But I. Okay, so not a nerd.

[B]

I'm gonna say not a nerd.

[A]

Emma Watson, a self described proper bookworm and data geek.

[B]

So I have heard she's like a book person. I don't, I don't know if I consider book nerd. Is that crazy for me to say? I think it needs to be like more specific.

[A]

You have to be like, so doing like four books a. A month to be like, you need to like really be booking. Yeah, I'm.

[B]

Sometimes I think this is, I'm g. Say this is a push. I'm Give it right. Right in the middle sometimes I think.

[A]

There'S a lot of like hot women who the nerd community is trying to fan cast as a nerd so that they may have something to talk to her about. Like, this feels very much like we need her to be a nerd so that we can approach her. But maybe that's me. That's my inner patriarchy talking, where somehow men are in charge of who's a nerd and not a nerd.

[B]

That's true. But like if you, if you just. If someone came up to me and it's like, I read, you know, 50 books, 75 books last year. Is that necessarily nerdy? I don't know. I can. I consider that maybe it is, I guess, in today's society. But I don't. I don't. I don't know how I feel about it yet. So I'm just. I'm gonna give it a push.

[A]

I like it. Sean, thank you for coming on. Everyone, go follow Sean Murphy. Long story thin. That is a special. You'll love it. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll enjoy. You'll hear about his thin penis. Thank you for coming on the show. Really appreciate it.

[B]

Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. Nice to talk to you. I hope you kill at the open mic. And I hope we both have Tates later today.

[A]

Absolutely. Pleasure. Back next week.

[B]

Boom.