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The JTrain Podcast
Flirty Gym Guys, Gifts You Don't Like, and Handleless Bags - TICKED OFF TUESDAY
00:36:34
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I know you're angry. It's Tuesday and it has no feel. The weekend was fun. You're still hungover from the eating and next weekend is too far away. What will you do with your day? It's time to get ticked off. Complain with your gripe. Right now your friend Uncle J Train is here to tell you that you're right. It's a ticked off Tuesday. Ticked off Tuesday. You're angry and you don't even know why. Enjoy this podcast. It'll help you get to Friday.
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Hello and welcome to the J Train podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming alive from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Tuesday is a ticked off Tuesday where you, the listener complained to me, the comedian and. And then we form a complaint duet the likes of which have never been seen before. How do you complain with the show? Well, there's two ways to do it. One, you sign up for Patreon. Patreon gets you the Friday episode. That is Coffee with J Train, which is basically my. That is my diary where I go through the week. I tell stories. If you want an example of what Coffee with J Train sounds like, listen to last week's Ticked off Tuesday. I tell a story about buying my new car that is very similar. It's the same. It would have been a Coffee with J Train. So five bucks a month get to the Friday episode, Coffee with J Train every Friday. And then you can comment on Coffee with J Train with your ticked off Tuesday and it will be read on this show. You get first dibs. That's what you get with your membership. Five bucks gets you the Friday podcast and, and the ability to complain here. Now, if you just want to complain and you want to try and get on the show, send it to jtrain podcastmail.com that's jtrain podcastmail.com you'll be in the mailbox and if we don't have Patreon subscriber complaints, we go to the mailbox. So go do that. Also, you can follow J Train on Instagram @jtrain podcast and you can follow me on. On YouTube. We're. We're putting up YouTube videos. We're. That makes me sound a hundred years old. Putting standup on YouTube every Saturday. Saturday night. J Train, we're putting videos on YouTube every Saturday night. It is from the road. You can kind of see the awkward parts of a show. Go enjoy those like them. Comment. It's very quiet on YouTube. I would love for you to go subscribe on YouTube. I'm on the road I got Kansas City, Richmond, D.C. these are all dates coming up. D.C. were like half sold. So we need the D.C. people. If you're listening now, you know I always get asked, oh, I want to support. Coming to a show is not what I consider a support. I'm bringing a product that you're paying for and I do a great job doing it. The show is going to be great. And the price of admission is a good exchange for, you know, money in exchange for services. You will laugh every 10 seconds. If you really want to support, buy the tickets now. That's very helpful to get them early. Kind of helps me know how full the show's going to be. It pushes other people to buy tickets. You're my OkPs, original key players. I need you buying those tickets first so that we can have some energy going in. So I'm coming to D.C. richmond, Chicago. All the dates are@jaredfreed.com also Kansas City this weekend. Kansas City. We got five shows. We're doing the club in Kansas City. So I think it's the funny bone. We'll find out. So, Jared free.com go to go get the tickets. I so ticked off. Tuesday. I'll do my complaint. I have two complaints. Two complaints. And they're kind of just. I don't know if they're complaints. Then we got two ads and then we'll go to your complaints and I'll complain with you. I think your complaints are probably going to be more filled out than mine. Mine. Okay, first one. I have a bicycle. I have a bicycle. I have a little pig horn on it. I named Hambone. I drive it to get coffee. I drive it to go to the gym. I like the bicycle. It's the bicycle people that are really tough to deal with. And there's a lot because I'm out early. So I see these, like, packs of bicyclists. They're mostly men and they. If you. I do understand they are somewhat putting their lives on the line. When you're on a bicycle, you are naked, you are on the same street as a car. So you need the cars to treat you with the care that they would treat a car. I get that there's anxiety about having being on a bike and the danger involved and that it might not even be your fault because cars don't treat bikes with respect. I get that. But I do think the bikers have to own that. They generally pick and choose when they're bikes and when they're cars. And if you're going to pick and choose and you're not going to follow the car rules by the letter of the law, you kind of lose your right to be this angry bicyclist. Because they all seem angry. I was going, I got coffee at Pura vida. It's on a 1A, it's a few blocks from where I live. And then I take the bike down this like back street and then I come to a, a four way stop. I'm. When I get to this four way stop, it's not a main road, Listen. And I'm not the bicyclist yelling at people. So let me admit, I bicycle like I'm 10 years old. I'm going through stop signs, I'm going through stop lights, I'm going between cars. I'm Dennis the Menace. I'm going to, I'm using the bike at my own. And again, yeah, I'm risking my own health to do this. Fine, I'm wearing a helmet. But I'm, I'm not being a car. So I get to this four way stop, which is like not a main street. And I'm like looking both ways as I'm coming up to it. And I'm about to roll through these other two bicyclists and they are on, I'm on a beach cruiser, so I'm on like a casual bike. These two guys are on what I would call like a serious 10 speed situation. You know, they got the bully bike. They got the bike that you get when you go to middle school and you go, look at my bike. Not like the kids bike that I'm on. And I'm rolling through and they start and I'm watching them and they're rolling through too. But then they look at me, they go, hey, hey, hey. And I'm like, wait a minute, you can't yell at me for not following the road rules while also rolling through a stop sign yourself. At that point, we're all Dennis the Menace. We're all the kids. So if you're going to yell at me, you better be full stop at your stop sign following the rules. You better be standing with both feet on the ground. Then you can go, hey, hey. You're not following the rules. You're a danger to society. You're allowed to do it then. But don't be rolling through the stop sign yelling at me for rolling through the stop sign. I think we're all at fault. And I think a lot of bicyclists are narcissists. And they get down this road of like, they're so angry about all these cars don't treat us right, and they never follow the rules, and they don't treat us like cars. They don't know how dangerous our lives are. And it's like, you can't. They become elitists and forget that? Like, hey, you're still. You're breaking the rules right now. So you lose your right to be this elitist bicyclist. That's my bicycle complaint. Now, my second complaint is a little bit more specific. I go to this gym here. I love the gym I go to. They have classes every morning. They have classes in the morning, lunchtime, and at night. And then it's just an open gym you can go use. The membership is cheap. I don't even want to say that because they'll probably end up jacking up the prices, but they're not the type to jack up the price. This isn't Globo Gym. This isn't an Equinox. It's two women who are trainers that move down from New York and open a gym. And I am a huge fan of what they're doing. It's called the Lab. It is a. You know, they call it, like a social gym and social club, which, you know, I would eye roll. I'm like, I'm not there to get social, but they do try. Like, they're having. They're having, like, a happy hour, and they've had them before, and I've missed them because I've been on the road. I would love to go to the happy hour. I think. I think it's a great idea. They have these, like, challenges. If you go to 20 classes in a month, you win some sort of prize. I don't even know what the prize is, because I don't care. But they count going to the. The happy hour as one of your classes. I think that is a great idea. The spirit of that is, hey, you being social does get you things here at this gym that is living up to their name as a gym and social club. I love that I can't make it, but I love it. The classes are. I think there's a 6:00am, a 7:00am and an 8:00am the. The times change. Sometimes it's a 6 and a 7 and a 9. Sometimes it's a 6, 7, and 8 and 9. Sometimes it's on. On Sundays, they do a Hy Rocks class, which is this, like, very much a cardio lifting thing that's at 9:30 on Saturdays. They go 8:30, 9:30. I would prefer the 8:00am class. I go to the 7:00am class when there's no 8:00am, it gets my day off to a great start. Today I took the 7am and I'm in that class. There is a guy. Okay, so this is all to explain the classes and to set the stage. So I'm at the 7am class. It is dark out when I leave the house. That's fine. I by, you know, waking up at 6am to go to the gym, you're like, ugh, ugh. I guess I'm doing it. I guess I'm doing it. When you're 15 minutes into a gym class that you start at 7am you are already feeling better than everyone else. You're already like, I already have that thought. I'm like, I'm 15 minutes in, I'm almost done. When I leave here, it's going to be 8am I would have woken up at 8am this is great. I'm already happy 15 minutes into the class. So that means it's the right thing to do. Like yeah, you forced yourself to get up. But the minute you're into this class you're like, I'm here, I'm doing it. It's great today. And this isn't just today. There's a guy that goes to these classes and he's a very happy go, lucky guy. This guy. The idea that I'm laughing because he would have no idea that anyone would be annoyed with him. Or maybe he would, but I'm annoyed with him. I'm annoyed with him. This guy shows up, you know, right on time today. I have a history with this guy. I just think this guy's annoying because he flirts with the teachers while they're trying to like. So the class works like this. I, I'm not telling this well. Already I'm mad at myself. The class starts with a warm up and then they go and on the TVs they have what the workout is that day. We're all doing the same workout, but there's three, maybe four stations. Today there were four, four stations. So A, B, C and D. So you do the warm up and then the teacher is going to tell you what's going to happen at each of the stations. And then the clock starts and one group starts at A, one group starts at B, one group starts at C, one group starts at D. And then you rotate until you've been to all the stations and then you're out. To me, perfect workout it is. It sets the expectation, you know what the tasks are to get done. That's when I tend to work out at my best. So this fits me. There's this guy that during he first of all today, he shows up late, okay. Then he gets in. Then he's, you know, they start doing the warm up and he's talking during the warmup. I'm not, I'm not trying to like, listen, you want to come here? It is called social club. So I do have to like, say that. But then the teacher can't help themselves. They're like, hey, come on, no talking. And it's like, at a certain point, we have to leave this guy behind. We have to start ignoring this guy. Because then the teacher goes into teaching the class and he's like flirting slash messing around with the teacher. The teacher's like, so how many calories are we burning here? And he's like, three. And she's like, come on, you know, it's not three. And it's like. And he's like talking and flirting and the whole thing. I just want to get in and out. I want this to. And I'm only complaining because it's happened every time I'm in class with this guy. He's got to have his big personality play happen during when they're teaching the class. And today the person who's teaching the class got so shooken by them that they didn't tell us who's in group A, who's in group B, who's in group C, who was in group D. So the clock is about to start. They're like, okay, now that I gave you all the instructions, you guys know where to go? And it's like, we don't know where to go. None of us knew where to go. We're all milling around and then it's like, three, two, one, boop. And I'm like, I'm missing out on the workout because you got distracted by this dude who wasn't. Who won't stop flirting with you. And now we don't know where to go. And the trainer, they're going to, hey, no one's in the right spot. And it's like, yeah, because this dude won't shut the fuck up. So. And I get it. Like, for me, I get to be social all the time. I'm being social right now. Even though that's weird to say. I'm taping a podcast, but I get to, like, get this out of my system. Maybe this is his only chance to be around people and to get it out of his system. And he's being fun and he's joking. And it's annoying because I think the trainers have to like, stop fake laughing at everything he says because every time he does something, everyone has to go and it's like, dude, you're in the way. No one thinks it's funny. J Train podcast at Gmail. I'm laughing because it's so stupid. I this guy thinks he's being the most fun, awesome guy in the class and I'm sitting in the corner like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. We're trying to do a gym class. It's 7am oh, are you up at 5? Do you at 8? Cups of coffee? How do you have this energy? Fucking Don Juan during the instructions. I want to know how to do the, you know, the, the ski machine. All right, let's get to your emails. I got two sponsors today. Nutrafol. If bad hair day is turning into a bad hair decade, it's time to try Nutrafol. 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So let's try neutral and then we can go to the other options that might mess with your system in a different way. Might be, you know, take a prescription. You know, I, I would rather get over the counter first and see if that works. And I'm telling you right now, my mom loves it and I've seen a difference. She's got thicker hair. It's great. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding. In just three to six months with Nutrafol for a limited time, Neutrophil is offering J train fans $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to neutrophil.com Enter the promo code Feather. Find out why Neutrophil is the best selling hair growth supplement brand@nutrafol.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code feather neutrophil.com promo code feather all the ads are in the description of the episode. One more to go. Hero. Brett I love what Herobred does because it speaks to me as a millennial. I love efficiency. 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Their products have the texture you'd expect and the flavors you'll love. Herobred is offering 10% off your order. Go to HERO CO. Use code J train at checkout. That's J train. Okay, let's go to the listener complaints. I'm on the road. Come to a show. Also second show added for Boston. Dear Jared, I've got a ticked off Tuesday for you. My girlfriend and I do an annual Euro summer trip and this year we made the mistake of inviting another couple. You gotta be careful. Here's the thing. You have limited time to do these trips. You really gotta make sure that if you're gonna invite someone else, they are vetted. And here's what you want with another couple coming on your trip. You want the. The there to be no feel. Here's what I would want. I would want a couple that I don't have to explain myself to. I don't want a couple coming that there's apologies. How are we going to cancel dinner? I want to be able. The. The bar for going with another couple on a. And I'm saying this as a single guy with no girlfriend. Okay, but if I. If I had a hypothetical girlfriend and we had hypothetical. I'm saying this as a single guy with no girlfriend or friends to go on a couple's vacation with, I'm saying this. I am literally. I have no biases here. I am saying if I were to have a girlfriend in a world and we were to have friends in a world, I would. The bar for, would we vacation with them would be. We could cancel on them for dinner with no questions asked. Hey, we're doing no dinner tonight. Hey, we're doing an alone night. And I can trust that they're not going to say what we planned. We were going to do reservations. You're canceling. That's the bar. I'm not saying canceling on someone is right or good. I'm saying the people I would go on vacation with better be okay with me canceling. No explanation needed. That's the bar to me. I should have known better because the wife is always a little high strung. Again, that's someone. But I made a reservation. It's on my credit card. That's not someone I'm vacationing with. But she and her husband post these cool, fun TikToks with cocktails and date nights. Big mistake. You trusted their Instagram. The couples with the best Instagram accounts have the worst relationships. You are getting a view through a keyhole of what's going on. You're seeing them clinking drinks on the beach. You're not seeing her. Look at him going, you just cheers me wrong. That's. No, no, no. You can't be on vacation with that. That is not. Listen, I'm not saying the TikTok couple doesn't do great trips. I'm saying chances are low and you better see what they're like on a dinner date first. Fun tiktoks with cocktail date nights. So I thought, perfect. Just our vibe. No, social media is marketing. This couple is marketing themselves as a good time. And then you have to see the reality. I can't believe if I'm your wife or your girlfriend, I'm mad at you. They write. But she and her husband post these cool, fun tiktoks with cocktails and date nights. So I thought, perfect, just our vibe.
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Wrong.
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The second we got to Ibiza, she started judging us for having multiple cocktails by the pool. Oh, no. You do not want to be on a vacation with a drink counter. That's I mean, that's my dad. My dad, he'll be like, you know, I'll say, I had two martinis. They were triples. You had six. Judging us if we ordered two drinks at dinner, basically judging everything. She was obsessed with itemized receipts. Like, God forbid, my appetizer was $7 and 10 cents more than hers. No. This is a nightmare. Oh, my God. The whole trip felt awkward, tense, and cheap. Honestly, why would you agree to come on a trip like this? To pinch pennies and kill the vibe? That's a fine question, but you can't blame them. They are what they is. I. I. Listen, you and I might agree, but these are questions I would have asked before inviting them on a vacation. I'm not just assuming that this couple, because they have great TikToks, aren't penny pictures. Like, that's. You've made the mistake miserable. And don't even get me started on the constant fighting between her and her husband over how many drinks he was allowed to have. And lastly, they haven't paid us back for much. What would you do? Cut my losses. You can't. Because here's the thing. The. The itemized receipt couple. Hey, we're still missing a couple dollars. They've probably already done the math, and they're going to come back at you with, here's the receipt. You actually spent $5 more at dinner, and that's why we haven't paid you. This is not someone to me. I am the. The. The best thing you can do is run away from these people, not ask for more trouble. And I agree with you. Pinching pennies on vacation, not my vibe. But I also make sure that I vet the vibe. You did not vet the vibe. You went based off an Instagram or a TikTok. And honestly, I. If I'm your girlfriend, I'm upset with you. I. We're in a fight. I'm in a fight with you. I'm trying to complain with you. I mean, the complaints you have of penny pinching on vacation, judging people for their drinks, I agree with. I don't want to hear how many drinks I've had on vacation. On vacation, I've had one continuous drink. And I can't believe how drunk I didn't get off of all those drinks that I had that I didn't have. Like, to me, vacation is the place to live in delusion, live in unreality, to live a life that's a little bit more rich than you should be living. That's the whole point. Look, at these sheets. Look at this room. Look at our balcony. That's the point of a vacation. That's what it is to go on vacation, to live a life as if you live this all the time. If you could. And they're doing it wrong. Yes, I agree with you. They're doing it wrong. But you bought the branding. They have good tiktoks. We must be the same vibe is not who how I'm choosing to go on vacation zone. This is the same for, like, dating. Oh, their tiktoks look so fun. Then you go on the date with them, and it's like they got nothing to say. That's why you go on the first date. You don't put a ring. You don't put a ring on the cow. You try the milk first, as they say. Especially for vacation. I'm not wasting a moment of vacation with the awkwardness of, you had how many drinks and, oh, you just want to throw credit cards down. No, no, no. But you got a drink that costs $0.05 more than mine. I'd be like, oh, my. But I guess we're doing dinner separately for the rest of the trip in Ibiza. Jared, loyal listener, Patreon subscriber needs some ears to listen to me rant. I'm here for you, baby. I'm newly married. My husband's family is incredibly kind. The kind that makes you question how anyone could be that nice. That's annoying in itself. The too nice of family. You're like, just be nice, normal for two seconds. You know, be angry at someone and how their son ended up with you and your dysfunctional family. The kind that makes you question how anyone could be that nice and how their son ended up with you and your dysfunctional family. Well, I don't know. I'd opt for the mess sometimes anyways. Every time we visit, his mom gifts me little things I need for the home. Or maybe she hears I like, but not things I would necessarily buy myself. That's a lovely person. I love her so much and don't want to be the wife who seems ungrateful. But I'm writing to you after being gifted a coffee maker I had my eye on, only the brand isn't what I want. This is annoying. I'm with you. This is annoying because you get used to. The problem is you're used to this person. There's a point where the oh, my God, they heard I wanted this coffee machine turns in and they got it for me. That there's a point where that becomes. I thought she heard me say that I wanted the Keurig and not the Nespresso. And you become a brat. That's how brats are created. You're. You're a brat, which I agree with you. Because if you have this person in your life, you're like, well, they're going to buy it from me anyways. Oh, I would love a Keurig. And then you get an espresso, and you're like, they it up, they it up. I told them, Keurig. As you sit there with your free Nespresso. It's annoying. Also, I hate waste, so I feel obligated to use it. I know I sound bratty. See, this is the. This is a brat. But here at the luxury lounge, I know I'm safe. You're definitely safe. Brats are safe here, too. I want my own. I want my own stainless steel mocha pot, non aluminum. See, this is the problem. It's the problem with signing up for, you know, the gift horse. You know, you got. You've got the goose that lays the golden eggs. And it's annoying because now you have to take it. This is the. This is the definition. There's no such thing as a free lunch. This is the definition. And you got used to it. You laid back. You probably didn't say stainless steel as loud as you would have done it the first time. And then they go, here's your coffee machine you've been asking for. And you're like, oh, thank you. I guess I'll take. I guess I'll take the aluminum one. Like now. And now you start to feel bad about yourself. You're like, when did I become so ungrateful? They're the best people. And now every time you use this one, you're like, I could have just bought it myself. But you wouldn't have just bought it yourself. That's the thing. I. I'm with you. You wouldn't have bought it yourself. You have gotten used to knowing that you had a magic genie and this is a genie's wish gone off. You said, abracadabra, new coffee pot. And then they go, here's your aluminum coffee pot. And you're like, I should have been more specific. Yeah, and you got to use it. You got to put it out. They're going to come over. Where's the coffee pot? I got you. That's the annoying part. You're in for this coffee machine. Five year minimum. Five years. And you're stuck. Doesn't matter that it doesn't go with your esthetic doesn't matter that you wanted stainless steel. Doesn't matter that it's aluminum and not the one you wanted. You're in. That sucks, Jared. Love all you do. I'll get right to it. Why is it that every gym locker room is a million degrees? I frequently go to my office gym every and a gym near home and both have crazy hot locker rooms. I love working out in the morning, but when I do the hair and makeup routine after my shower, I start to sweat again. I usually have to stay in my towel or walk around the locker room half naked to keep from ruining my work clothes. All locker rooms should be freezing or just have better ventilation. People are sweaty from the gym. And combine that with the multiple showers running, it gets warm. Gyms figure it out and cool it down. The locker room doesn't need to be the sauna sweaty gym batch. I'm with you. This is annoying. What annoys me is all I. All locker rooms should be cold. They should all be cold. Everything should be cold. Everything. Because you have the ability to warm up. All of us can take responsibility for ourselves and warm up. It really makes me more annoyed at the people who, who go to the front desk and go, hey, it's like I'm annoyed at a ghost. Like, I, I'm with you. Your complaint. I agree with you. The only reason that locker room is hot is because someone complained that it was too cold. Those people should be literally, we, we gotta find those people and talk to them. That's our problem. Because if I went into a locker room and felt too cold, I'd be like, well, I better get dressed up now because I'm leaving here in five minutes. It's the people that complain about it and then they're leaving it, leaving the locker room 10 minutes later. Like, why? What are you making sure of? That it's hot for the rest of the day for everyone else. So it's not really the gym that I mind as much as the people who have complained to them in the past. If you've complained about a locker room being cold, you're wrong. 10 out of 10 times. You're not in the locker room long enough to. It's not an office. It's a place you're going to be in for 10 minutes at the max. So it's the people that are complaining that it's cold that are bothersome. And you're getting dressed, you're getting dressed, you're putting on items. People who complain about it being cold anywhere are the problem generally because you can Always layer up. And if you don't have the layers to put on, maybe you screwed up. Like, my dad only wears long sleeves now, and I didn't know this. He told me. He goes, I only wear long sleeves. He's like, the restaurants are too cold and you always need sleeves. And to me, that is an actual. That's an admirable way to live your life. He has said, I will give up short sleeve aesthetic to not have to bother restaurants everywhere I go. And I think that's admirable. Jtrain podcast gmail.com jtrain podcastmail.com It's a Tiktoff Tuesday. We got one more sign up for the Patreon if you want to be involved. Patreon.com Jared Free the lack of takeout bags with handles. They have them. I see them. But yet they shove your order in a brown paper bag, grocery store style, and hand it to you as if it's an acceptable way to walk home carrying food. I live in a major city where most people are not driving handles people. I can't believe you're in a major city and they're giving you a brown paper bag as if you just packed a lunch. That's crazy. Here's the other thing handles do. And we've also, like you said, I see them, they have them. They've figured out the technology. The handle paper bag exists. It does a really good job. They're good. If you've had the handle paper bag from Trader Joe's. It's really good and it's sturdy and it does the job. So the idea that they're not that great. No, no, no, no, no. They're doing a good job. Here's the other thing. A paper bag without handles is a smaller bag. You have to fold it over to be able to carry multiple paper bags. So now you lose volume from the inside of the B. So it's defeating the whole purpose for the three paper bags that they'd have to use so that you can carry them at the top with no handles. They could have packed that into one regular paper bag with handles that could have fit more stuff. So they don't even make sense from A. And I, I guess if your feedback is like, well, say there's not as much waste. You're creating more waste. I need more bags for the same amount of stuff. I can't even believe this is an option. I can't even believe. Like, I would say to them, where are the bags with handles? And if they're like, well, why don't you bring your own bag? Well, is this your way of telling me to bring my own bag? At that point, go bagless, lose customers. Don't try and teach me a lesson. Jtrain PodcastMail.com, jtrain PodcastMail.com ticked off Tuesday, back next week, boom.