Going Viral Is Exhausting with Steph Tolev - CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY - The JTrain Podcast w Jared Freid

Summary

The JTrain Podcast: "Going Viral Is Exhausting with Steph Tolev" – Detailed Summary

Release Date: July 9, 2025
Host: Jared Freid
Guest: Steph Tolev
Episode Title: Going Viral Is Exhausting with Steph Tolev - CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY

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1. Introduction and Promotion of Steph’s Netflix Special

In this engaging episode of the JTrain Podcast, host Jared Freid welcomes longtime friend and comedian Steph Tolev for a relaxed "Chit Chat Wednesday" session. Jared enthusiastically promotes Steph's latest Netflix special, "Filth Queen," urging listeners to watch it early to boost its initial viewership during the crucial first month.

Jared Freid [00:00]: "I just want you to go watch it right now. It is such a funny special."

2. Navigating Viewer Engagement and Promotion Challenges

The conversation delves into the frustrations both comedians face with audience engagement. Steph shares her struggle with fans not promoting her special, leading to irate direct messages.

Steph Tolev [04:47]: "This enraged me more because this guy keeps asking me for a threesome."

Jared empathizes, discussing his own experiences with unsolicited DMs and the disappointment when listeners fail to share his content despite his efforts to help them with dating advice.

Jared Freid [04:57]: "I kept putting on myself because I'm a psycho. I'm sure you did the same for yours, right?"

3. Relationship Dynamics and Long-Distance Struggles

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Steph’s relationship with her boyfriend, Jefferson, a magician and musician working on cruise ships. They discuss the strains of maintaining a relationship with frequent periods of separation.

Steph Tolev [14:35]: "We've been fighting all week. It's been a very stressful month."

Jared probes deeper into the challenges of long-distance relationships, especially when one partner's job demands extended time away.

4. Experiences with Cruise Ships and Celebrity Encounters

Steph recounts her experiences on cruise ships, highlighting both humorous and frustrating moments. She shares an amusing story about encountering a fanatical admirer and dealing with overenthusiastic passengers.

Steph Tolev [22:37]: "People were looking at my boyfriend. I was like, get your. I'm like, holding hand and I'm seeing women like, I fuck him."

Jared ties in his own family's positive experiences on cruises, contrasting them with Steph's less favorable encounters.

Jared Freid [16:00]: "Cruise ship thing is a way to do your entertainment career because you can make a living."

5. Story of Meeting Steph’s Boyfriend, Jefferson

One of the most captivating segments is Steph's recounting of how she met her boyfriend, Jefferson, at The Laugh Factory in LA. She describes a chaotic show night, a chance meeting backstage, and the immediate connection that led to their relationship.

Steph Tolev [28:00]: "I met Jefferson behind Shooter McGavin. We started talking, and within three months, we were living together."

Their shared love for comedy and similar personalities makes their relationship both harmonious and tumultuous.

Steph Tolev [32:44]: "When we fight, it's like demented. But when we don't, it's very nice."

6. 'Would You Rather' Game: Filth Queen Edition

Adding a playful twist, Jared and Steph engage in a "Would You Rather" game themed around topics from Steph's special. This segment is filled with humor and candid revelations about personal preferences and comedic observations.

Jared Freid [33:33]: "Would you rather sex swing or outdoors?"

Steph Tolev [34:09]: "I can't. I want to say. I'm gonna say outdoors."

The game highlights their chemistry and the ability to laugh about even the most awkward scenarios.

7. Conclusion and Final Promotions

As the episode wraps up, Jared reinforces the importance of supporting Steph by watching and sharing her Netflix special. Both hosts humorously critique and celebrate the content, leaving listeners with a strong recommendation.

Jared Freid [39:29]: "Go watch the special. It is called Filth Queen."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jared Freid [03:25]: "Not everyone's keeping up on your stuff. Not everyone ... And it would enrage me too."
• Steph Tolev [14:35]: "I'm not good with this kind of distance."
• Steph Tolev [28:00]: "I met the Laugh Factory and ended up meeting Jefferson through Shooter McGavin."

Key Takeaways

• Promotion Matters: Early support is crucial for comedians releasing specials on platforms like Netflix.
• Relationship Challenges: Balancing a demanding career with personal relationships requires understanding and communication.
• Humorous Perspective: Even stressful situations, such as dealing with unkind fans or long-distance relationships, can be navigated with humor.
• Community Support: Encouraging listeners to watch and share Steph's special emphasizes the importance of community in a comedian's success.

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For those looking to enjoy a blend of humor, candid conversations, and insightful discussions on the challenges of viral success and personal relationships, this episode of The JTrain Podcast with Steph Tolev is a must-listen. Don’t miss out on Steph’s hilarious and raw portrayal of her life in "Filth Queen."

Transcript

[Jared Freid]

Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them too. Chit Chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a ch. Chitchat Wednesday too. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. It's a Chit Chat Wednesday and today's guest is Steph Tola. I've known Steph for years. She is hilarious and she has a special that is out on Netflix right now. The link is in the bio this episode. I will mention that during this episode obviously while with Steph, but I just want you to go watch it right now. It is such a funny special. I watched it earlier today and you're helping the comedians an enormous amount by watching it early and often. We want that view in the first month, that is. Listen, I went through this whole Netflix thing. It's on Netflix that helps Steph the most and we want to be, you know, we're the OK piece, so to speak. We're the original key players. We're talking right to the comedian. She came on the show to sell her wear, so to speak, but she's just so funny. She's open for me on the road in la, around LA and we just had such a great time together and she quite literally murders like it is pee or pants funny. It is called Filth Queen and it's filthy that the. The special is filthy. And we talk about Steph and some of the bits from the special. We talk about how she met her boyfriend who is also a comedian and musician and how you meet someone and how you know when you're away. Long distance relationships, all good stuff and fun and you're basically what Chit Chat Wednesday is all about. You are a fly on the wall for two friends catching up. So enjoy today's episode and please go watch Steph. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Free coming to live. I'm from Delray Beach, Florida. It's a Chit Chat Wednesday where I sit down with a friend, a comedian, an expert and today I have all three friend hilarious comedian with a special that you can go and watch right now. I'm actually going to ask that you pause this and go at it to the queue. We are within the month of it coming out, which is very important. I'll let you behind the curtains, people. I will flip back the curtains and tell you how this biz runs. Okay? We want you to watch it early and often because that helps the comedian that you are about to meet. Her name. And she's an expert. She's an expert in filth. She is the Filth Queen herself. That is the name of the special Filth Queen, Steph Tollev. Thank you for coming on the J Train podcast. How are you?

[Steph Tolev]

Thank you for having me. How are you? It is very important. And I'll tell you what I have done. I thought all I could do to get people to watch this goddamn thing. And yesterday I did another video being like. Because I keep putting on myself because I'm a psycho. I'm sure you did the same for yours, right? And I literally was like, someone in my DMs like, oh, my God, you a special on Netflix. And I was like, I only been talking about it for literally how long it is.

[Jared Freid]

I said this, I think, to Lisa Trager. I sent her a note. I. I work, you know, le. And I. I consider a close, close friend. But this was my close friend. This is me having. Giving you the same speech as hers. Like, enjoy it as much as you can, because it will feel. It will turn into Smile's version of the ring. It will. It could erode you to a miserable. If you let it. Because it's stuff like that. Because you have someone in your DMs. And let me. Let me give you the feedback that you probably already gave yourself. Not everyone's keeping up on you stuff. Not everyone. They don't spend their day looking at your story, caring about your life, caring about your special. And I'm sure you said this yourself, and you went back and forth and you went from how the fuck does this person not know? To they might have known. And they didn't want to seem like a loser who kept up too much on your life. And it enraged you as much as it did. And it would enrage me too. I'm with you. I get it.

[Steph Tolev]

This enraged me more because this guy keeps asking me for a threesome. So I'm like, you can go, you want to fudge me, my boyfriend, but you can't look at my fucking Instagram. Like, what are you talking about?

[Jared Freid]

Do you know how many women I get DMing me? And they're like, hey, we should get drinks. And I'm like. And I had, like, give them advice. Like, I. I used to. People used to DM me, and I would give them advice, dating advice, and it'd be like, from six years ago. And I'm like, writing Paragraphs of like, hey, here's how you. And then I see that they didn't share the special. I gave you 15 minutes out of my life for a stranger to help you with your stupid fucking boyfriend that now you're asking me for drinks six years later, and you didn't. And I don't see from 2023. I don't see that you tagged me in your thing where you shared, and then I'm the piece of shit. Look at. I'm getting mad because I. You can all. You get mad at yourself. You go, I guess I'm the dick, because. And I. I've written back to people. Like, I could get screenshots of death. Like, there could be like. If I. Here's the problem I have. And I think we all have this. As comedians, we get frustrated, and if we ever get. I don't think canceling is this, but if we do something wrong, if we really trip up, there'll be a line of, like, six dozen people that will be like. And look at how they reacted when all I said is, I want to get drinks. They're like, why don't you share my special look at what a piece of this is? And I'm like, so you're gonna lose. You're not gonna win. Don't. Don't fight this battle, Steph. I'm telling you, Let the special get drifted out to sea. Wave to it.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Wave to it. I'm telling you, It'll. It'll. It'll. It'll. It'll age you.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, I. It's. I. I am feeling that. And I'm like, you know, I feel like you do the same thing. You do a million podcasts.

[Jared Freid]

You tell me, do it.

[Steph Tolev]

Well, this is the thing. I'm like, this is why I wanted to do your broadcast about. Because you have so many great female listeners. Well, and this is what I need here. I need the ladies to listen to me, because the men. I'm getting these DMS that are like, normally, I wasn't even gonna watch your special because I hate women, but I watched. It was actually hilarious. I'm like, no, no, no. Then it's not for you. Then I need the women who already support other women. Come over here.

[Jared Freid]

Turn it off.

[Steph Tolev]

There's no way.

[Jared Freid]

You're not. I want you to read my notes. This is what I wrote. Okay. I don't know if I'm going to get it on camera. It says, you need my audience. Yes, you need my audience.

[Steph Tolev]

You have it right there.

[Jared Freid]

I wrote it down because I'm even watching the special. So I watched it. It's fantastic. Everyone should go watch it. You're going to have fun watching the special. You're not gonna like, sit there and be like, I don't know if I agree. No, you're gonna have a fun laugh out loud time. You're going, this is night on the couch. Smoke weed, whatever you do. Have a drink, get a little loose and then turn this on and all. And I'm telling you, watch it tonight. This is chit chat Wednesday. Watch it when it's a Wednesday night. I'm sunk in my couch, in my comfy cozies. And listen, we're gonna stop selling in a second. But I did write that down because I was watching and I'm having fun with it. And the women in your crowd. It was taped in Boston, my hometown. But you probably get. And again, I know the men you get. Oh, I don't find women funny. You know, I knew that already. But you're getting the girlfriend of that douchebag who's like, getting too drunk because she doesn't even want to be at the comedy show and thinks that she has something to like. There's a woman that stands up to tell you what her pussy looks like. Yeah, I hated her. I hated her.

[Steph Tolev]

Sit the fuck down.

[Jared Freid]

You're at a special table, just saying, yes, my pussy looks weird too. And then sit down and let Steph fucking take the wheel. Do you know what I mean? Like, and, and I'm sitting there thinking, I'm going, the people that come to my show and you've opened for my shows, you've come. We've done shows together.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

And they love you because you're. You're speaking for them and giving perspective. Like, hey, my nipples. I look like I have big nipples, but I don't have big nipples. Is actually a female premise.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Because men wouldn't go, well, I'm a big nipple looking guy. It just wouldn't be in the conversation. That's a fun woman on the couch.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

We're all discussing, like, that's from bridesmaids to. You know what I mean?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And I think the women that come to my show and I'm like trying to feed them towards you because they would go. They would be the ones crying in their seat, not sitting there going, well, let me tell you about my nipples. You know, they would.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared Freid]

They would enjoy it. And this woman that was standing up, I got mad at her. I, I'm madder. It was a Visceral reaction.

[Steph Tolev]

There was a man. I did two shows, and there was a man in the first show who came alone and sat dead center and didn't laugh at a single thing I said. And when I tell you, it was the most distracting thing. So the second show, I made my manager go out and find, like, weirdos. I'm like, find someone who has a tattoo on their eyeball and put them in the front row, right? I don't want these, like. Like this I'll show. Just staring at me. I'm like, this is crazy.

[Jared Freid]

The guy trying to prove, like, what does. It can't be broken. What is he, Ivan Drago?

[Steph Tolev]

And you came to my show. You bought, like, you bought tickets to see this? Like, why?

[Jared Freid]

And it's special taping.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And like, like, how. What do you.

[Steph Tolev]

What.

[Jared Freid]

How fucked up are you to go to a special taping and be like, I gotta. I'm just gonna see if they can get me. Like, that's just such a bad attitude.

[Steph Tolev]

It's so bizarre.

[Jared Freid]

Did you say anything to him?

[Steph Tolev]

I did. I kept being like, I hate you. And we cut all that out because I kept saying, I'm like, why are you here? I was so bothered by him. But then. Yeah, it sits. You know what? Just watch it. That's it. I just need the ladies. I need the ladies to watch it. That's all I need here. And, like, men will like it, too.

[Jared Freid]

No, the men are gonna love it.

[Steph Tolev]

Like it.

[Jared Freid]

But. But that's the point. The women will love it because you're saying you're speaking from their soul. This isn't. Men are this. Women are this. This is. Even though we're doing the men are this. Women of this to describe. But you're. Again, it's this. I thought of it when the small nipple part came up, I was like, that's something I would see on batches. That would be.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like, you. You think I'm a big nipple. I'm actually a small, petite nipple woman. And yeah, I, I, the way.

[Steph Tolev]

That's the way you took off the whole time.

[Jared Freid]

That's the one takeaway I had. I, I will. As I'm watching this, because I'm like, what are we going to talk about? And, like, again, there's a lot to talk about. We'll get to the. At the end, I have a game, but you're coming to us from a ship's hull, apparently. Where are you?

[Steph Tolev]

My. This is my podcast studio. It's my. I changed. It's an old doctor's office. It's my house, but it's, it looks.

[Jared Freid]

Like an old doctor's office. And that to me it's also LA looking like. Do you.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Do you like la? Do you? I don't, I do you get told you're not an LA person?

[Steph Tolev]

I do, I get told a lot. And I was just in New York and I was like, I get it, I get New York, I get the hustle, get the bustle. But the second I get back to la, I'm like, oh, I need this, I'm used to this now. I like kind of not seeing anybody and just chilling and walking my dog. Like, where is everybody always going in New York? I'm on a side street at 2am and there's seven in a rush on the sidewalk. I'm like, where are these people?

[Jared Freid]

I just moved to Delray Beach. I'm living in Delray for the summer.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, okay.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, so, but I, I'm like toying, like I'm like here to see if I like it, to make it work. And what you're saying is like the big pro of like when I come here, like, I'm like, ah. Like I feel like I can really like relax in New York. It's work, work, work. And I almost like, I'm like slow, dripping, like I'm like a micro dosing work in New York and not really feel like I'm accomplishing anything. And then when I visit from living here, I'm like, I got my shows done, I got some material in, I got my podcast, you know what I mean? Like I, yeah, you have time to like think.

[Steph Tolev]

I feel like, and it's like quiet and like, I don't know. You don't drink, right? You're not a big drinker.

[Jared Freid]

I stopped. Well, I have, I've been off of drinking on drinking. I, I, lately I've been drinking less.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay, I don't know how the fuck you don't drink in New York City. I literally drank excessively in la, the party week for the special. And then I went to New York and I'm like, I'm not drinking. I was blackout every night. You can't not drink in that city. Everyone's drinking. It's, it's, everything's too late. See, in la there's no drinking. I don't drink when I do shows here because I drive here and I'm like, well, good night. Got my set at 10, in bed at 10:30, like that's it. I don't, I'm not out Partying, right?

[Jared Freid]

Also la you there's like again, you said walk your dog. Like that's not like I, people walk their dog in New York. But it's like, let me get this over with. You know, you're.

[Steph Tolev]

I like, I like for a hike. Yesterday I went on a long hike. We mucked around the mountain, came back down and now I'm like, this is nice. Saw some, saw some ocean came down.

[Jared Freid]

So here's, yeah, here's the other question. And I. The thing that will your special haunt you is like kind of the subject matter because I get people that message me. And mine was called 37 and single. So I have people who message me, hey, I'm 37 and single too. I'm like, do you know what the date is today? Like, have you looked at the calendar? Like, what do you mean two? Like I, I. So you're gonna get. And these are why I want to ask these questions. Are you still with the boyfriend that you mentioned in the special?

[Steph Tolev]

Yes, I am.

[Jared Freid]

Are you still living together?

[Steph Tolev]

Yes, we are. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Is he still a cruise ship? What does he do?

[Steph Tolev]

He's currently on a cruise ship right now.

[Jared Freid]

And we like this dynamic. What does he do on the cruise ship? Are you allowed to say? And you don't like the dynamic? You don't like the Distance makes the heart grow fond.

[Steph Tolev]

We, we've been fighting all week. I'll be, I'll be straight up honest. I'm not good with this kind of. Because we get. We're together for like two weeks and when we're in la, I'm working, so we're here and I'm like, well, I have a show tonight, do you want to come with me? So I'm like dragging him to like three shows a night and then I come back home and then we're tired and, and he wants to stay up and watch a movie. But I'm like, I've been up since 6 editing, so I have to go to bed. So then we stuff in like date night. Date night. As much we can here. Then he goes for three weeks and then I'm like, he's in Japan. I can't get service. It's 24 hour time change. I'm like, hello, where's my boyfriend? So it's like I've been very stressed and because for the special came out, I've been super stressed. So it's been like, it's been a very stressful month. And I'm not, I'm, I'm. When I'm with Somebody I need to be in their ass. I, I really want you here. I, like, like a week away is fine, but this three week gap every, like couple weeks is not working for me.

[Jared Freid]

What does he do on the boat?

[Steph Tolev]

He's like a magician. Magician. He's a musician, like, and he does a comedy. So he does like, he has his rock and roll show and he like talks in the middle of it and he plays piano.

[Jared Freid]

I get it. So he on the boat for the week because my parents were just on a cruise. My brother was just on a cruise and I like met them afterwards and you know, they like loved it. They, they have gone with him.

[Steph Tolev]

I've gone and I don't need to go again.

[Jared Freid]

Well, what happened? Why don't you want to go again?

[Steph Tolev]

I don't, I don't, I don't like, I don't like these people. I think the people.

[Jared Freid]

So my parents. You don't like my parents? You don't like my brother? You don't like his wife?

[Steph Tolev]

What, what cruise did they go on?

[Jared Freid]

My parents were on Silver something. And it's like an imprint of Royal Caribbean, I think. Silver something. My brother and his wife went on the Royal. No, went on the Ritz. That like.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay, so that's fancy. This is nice.

[Jared Freid]

Fancy. And they loved it. But there are performers and we know people do comedy on ships and it's hard because you have to live with the people again. I'm 37 and single too. People mean well, but they don't. It, it can be, it can be soul sucking.

[Steph Tolev]

It is soul sucking. And he's really talented. Like, he plays piano. Like I've never seen a person play in my life. He plays a Jerry Lewis. Like he's played Jerry Lewis and like a bunch of plays and stuff. And he plays. He uses his foot like he's nuts.

[Jared Freid]

Really? So he's doing. So he's doing like dueling pianos type shit. Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

And he's jumping off the fucking piano and he's like rolling off the stage.

[Jared Freid]

Benson.

[Steph Tolev]

Boom. It's crazy. And then they will walk around the ship after and people will be like, hey, you were really sweaty last night. And that's how they say to him. And I'm like, we got to get you off the ship, man. Like, if somebody in Hollywood needs to see you, because this is not. This is so fudgeing stupid.

[Jared Freid]

And to the listeners at home, to the listeners at home, the cruise ship thing is a way to do your entertainment career because you can make a living. But yes, you are quite Literally out at sea. And you might be missing out on opportunities that happen stateside on land. Yes, Right.

[Steph Tolev]

That's exactly what's happening. Yes. And it's like, I get it. It's like he's not doing anything here right now. So I get it. He needs this to make money. But the only cruise I will say that I would go on again, and if anybody's thinking of going on any cruise, if you can go on an Alaska cruise, that's the one I would go on.

[Jared Freid]

Do you think. Because do you think. Are the people better? Is it. Is it a smarter person because they're like, more thoughtful? Because it's cold. They don't just want pool and hot.

[Steph Tolev]

It's just people who like, like literally every minute of the day, you're looking at glaciers, bald eagles. See, I saw two little seals on an. Sharing a little iceberg. When are you gonna see that again, right?

[Jared Freid]

Once in a lifetime.

[Steph Tolev]

An hour. I was like. I was like. I was like calling people over. I had binoculars like it was. And then the stops are all cute because you're like, in the middle of a Alaska. But like, the other ones, like, he also works on Princess, and Princess is old people, right? So it's like old blobs that are just like blobbing around. They all have oxygen tanks. They're all like, the elevators are full. It's like.

[Jared Freid]

It is like. You ever see Wally, you know, like when they're like, attack Wally. They. They basically show people, like, the future is people attached to chairs because they're just eating so much. And that's.

[Steph Tolev]

That's the cruise ship. That's the buffet. People are pushing out of the way. I'm like, you're watching people, like, burn their hands because they're like, I gotta get the piece of bacon at the back. And they're like singing their skin.

[Jared Freid]

It gets to the. It is a little bit animalistic. Like, you do see people at kind of their most. Benji. It's been a while since I've been on a cruise, but my brother and his wife and my parents, like, they all had fun. And I do think cruises are gonna come back for our age group. Like, they're gonna start, like, making them for us, you know, like, well, because they have, like.

[Steph Tolev]

They have like, Disturbed or whatever. The band will have one now. And I did Heather McMahon. Do you know her? You must know Heather McMahon.

[Jared Freid]

I know Heather. I. I said I. You know, much like, you want to come on my show because you think the audience would be great, I want to Go on that cruise. I. I met a woman.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

I'm serious. I was just in Lisbon because I went to the show in London, then met my brother and his wife. I'm in Lisbon. A woman comes up to me as I'm walking the street, and she goes, oh, my God, Jared, you're from Tik Tok. I go, that's. Yeah, I guess so. And then she goes. She takes a picture with me, and then I talk about this on Coffee J. Drink and sign up for the Patreon. We end up getting a drink that night. And she goes, I was on the Heather McMahon cruise. And she goes, I am now the biggest Steph Tolev fan that exists.

[Steph Tolev]

This is a straight. That's so funny.

[Jared Freid]

And I go, I love Steph. And she goes, I'm her biggest fan. She goes, if it wasn't for the cruise and she was saying it was funny, her perspective on going on that cruise was like. And I think it's a lot of our perspective at this age. We're like. We're kind of embarrassed of the gluttonous American. You're from Canada, but like, this gluttonous American that just goes on a cruise and feeds themselves until they roll off at the end. She kind of had that, like, tinge to her. She's like, you know, I don't go on cruises. You know, I'm not that person. You know, it becomes your description as a human. It's summertime. Eat that burger without feeling bad about it because Herobred has you covered for all of your barbecue, taco and sandwich needs. Each serving of Heroes classic burger and hot Dog Buns has 0 grams of net carbs, 0 grams of sugar, 11 grams of protein, 22 grams of fiber. That means you can enjoy all of your summer favorites and still hit your health goals. What's even better is that it's soft, fluffy, and tastes just like bread you're used to. Here's what I'll say. I love herobread. And here's how confident I am with how good it is. Put it out at the barbecue. Put it out. Don't put. Don't put it in the wrapping. Just put it out in the bowl. The bowl where you put all the buns. No one is going to say a word. And that's the goal. It's to have bread without all the crummy stuff in it. So. And again, if I was offered the choice between two breads that tasted exactly the same and one had fiber and zero grams of net carbs and was going to keep me fuller longer. I'm going to go with that one. So that is my challenge to you. Get herobread. Use the free money we're going to give you because we're going to give you free money. That's what we do here. All of your go to recipes are covered with Hero's sliced bread loaves, tortillas, bagels, and dinner rolls. HeroBread is offering 10. 10 off your order. Go to HeroCo. Use code J Train. That's J Train. That's J Train at checkout. Hero Co. Use code J Train. That's J Train at Hero Co.

[Steph Tolev]

But that cruise was very different than any other cruise because it was 95% women.

[Jared Freid]

I want to go. I'm putting this out there. I've said it before. I want to go on Heather McMahon's cruise so badly.

[Steph Tolev]

You would no longer have a penis if you went on that cruise. It would have been sucked off.

[Jared Freid]

I'd be the.

[Steph Tolev]

Not even joking. Would have been so wet and soggy from how sucked off it was. You would have had to throw it into the sea. I'm telling you right now. People were looking at my boyfriend. I was like, get your. I'm like, holding hand and I'm seeing women like, I fuck him. And I'm like, I got to get out of here because I'm too jealous. So that was like. That was a lot for me also, like, that that woman was rare because Heather's fans are, I think, a little more sophisticated. I'll say.

[Jared Freid]

She did say. She did say. She was like, we were chill. Like, she was like, there was a very. Why? There was a spectrum of fan on that cruise that went from like, I'm a mom. I can't believe I'm here to like normal women who are like, yeah, we're just friends, and we had a couple extra bucks and why not? You know?

[Steph Tolev]

And, like, I just think Heather's fans are like, obviously they're women and they're nice and supportive, but they were, I think, a little taken aback by some of my stuff.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Steph Tolev]

Well, shows I did is called filth. And we just do, like, nasty stories. So the comedians are saying, like, wacko shit.

[Jared Freid]

And I'm like, right?

[Steph Tolev]

People are like, alarmed. I'm like, this is the show. It's called filth.

[Jared Freid]

Like, you walked into filth, not pearls, you know?

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, yeah, sorry. Not clutching your pearls. You are clutching your pearls when you fucking. Right? But it was. It was it what? That was just like, okay. And then for a second, I was like, do I want to do my own cruise. I'm like, I can't do this. It's. It's too much. So much drinking, so much eating. My mom came on the cruise too.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Steph Tolev]

Her and her friends were like, it, we'll come to the cruise. And that was even more.

[Jared Freid]

Did you have fun?

[Steph Tolev]

I did, yeah. I just. We got really, really drunk one day, and then I got sun, and then I had like a crazy sun. My whole body was like open sores for like three days. So that kind of me. But the rest of it was fun.

[Jared Freid]

That sounds like my perfect day.

[Steph Tolev]

I don't know if I love. I just. I don't love being out to see. I like the stops.

[Jared Freid]

Right. I think the Etsy days are the best. It's like a snow day. Like, you have the excuse to wake up and be like, I guess we're drinking all day.

[Steph Tolev]

It's that I. I guess I. I don't know. I feel like I'd rather just be like a nice stop in Alaska. You go get some shrimps. You sit, you get some. We say, you fucking.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, I just came from that type of trip. So I was in Lisbon, and then my brother, his wife and I, we go to Compartment, and we're at this hotel that's in the middle of, like, rice fields and there's bugs everywhere. And like, just became like, the biggest Jew. I was like, I'm complaining. I'm like, who has bugs at a hotel? Like, who thought this was a good idea? That's like my grandmother's. The. The questioning. That is actually like, judgments, judgment questions, like, who would think this would be a good place for a resort? And then you had to book the transfer to the beach club.

[Steph Tolev]

And I was like, oh, that's.

[Jared Freid]

So you're staying here to go to the beach? Why would there be any thought of, like, maybe people don't want to go every hour you can't walk. It was like a 15 minute ride.

[Steph Tolev]

Like, it was like, oh, okay.

[Jared Freid]

What did you eat today? I like to ask this question.

[Steph Tolev]

I haven't eaten. I'm trying to. I'm on 9:00am It's 9:00am oh, yeah. I have my overnight oats. They're. They're ready for me.

[Jared Freid]

Do you have coffee?

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, I'm on cup number two here, baby. I'm trying to lose weight because I'm going to my. I'm going home, back to my. My cottage for like two weeks in his family's cottage. And his family's all jacked, so I can't be flopping around. So I'm trying to tighten up as much as I can.

[Jared Freid]

You're both cottage. How did you meet? This is my question. How did you meet?

[Steph Tolev]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

You're both cottage families because you have a cottage.

[Steph Tolev]

I have a cottage. He's a cottage. His.

[Jared Freid]

That's weird, though, for him to be from America, the Finger Lakes, upstate New York, and be a cottage family. And you're from, like, the woods of Canada and you also have a cottage family. I know this from just following your life, even though I didn't know you had a special.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah. Known as I. No, no. This is a nightmare. Netflix does not advertise the way you think. Anyways, you're preaching to the choir.

[Jared Freid]

They don't.

[Steph Tolev]

They.

[Jared Freid]

They. When you get the deal you got.

[Steph Tolev]

I was here yesterday and he calmed me down because I was, like, having a fucking meltdown.

[Jared Freid]

Who is this?

[Steph Tolev]

Ari Jaffier?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

They're not. I mean, they give you. They go. They go. They put it on again. Put it on the canoe. Wave goodbye to it.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, It's. I'm. I'm aware. And I was like, oh, at this point, I just need, like, now my agent is the one who's, like, sending it, like, casting people. I'm like, that's all I need now. If I can just get on a TV show, I'm done. That's it.

[Jared Freid]

You will be cast from this. I mean, like, you're doing you. I mean, like, it's you, but, like, you're performing. Like, this is a performance.

[Steph Tolev]

It's a performance.

[Jared Freid]

People will love it. Again, it's called Filth Queen. It's this there right now waiting for you. Literally. The link will be in the description of this episode. So you can click it, add it to Q. But we don't want you adding to Q because we're Just watch it.

[Steph Tolev]

It's 56 minutes.

[Jared Freid]

Just press play, walk out of the room, let it fly, and then it'll be there when you go. Oh. Currently watching.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, my dog's watched it a thousand times. I'll tell you, that has been. I put on yesterday. My dog literally rolled her eyes and looked away. I was like, oh, God, this is hell.

[Jared Freid]

How did you meet your boyfriend?

[Steph Tolev]

I gotta tell you the story. This is so good. Okay, so I met the Laugh Factory year and a half ago. One of those nights. Where have you done Live Factory in la.

[Jared Freid]

I've done it. It can be tough. It.

[Steph Tolev]

There were 14 people in the audience, even 10pm on a Wednesday, and everyone was bombing. And I was like, I'm not in the mood. I had done two shows before this. I was so tired. I remember I was sitting back, I was like, I actually. I was in the crowd to, like, fill up the crowd. It was that bad. I'm like, I don't want to do this right now. I'm so embarrassed. Shooter McGavin walks in. You ever seen Happy Gilmore?

[Jared Freid]

Are you kidding me? This guy's a legend.

[Steph Tolev]

You're everybody else to lose your mind. Shoot him. A Gavin walks in. And I'm like, what? I go, oh, my God. And I'm like, he's so drunk, he's stumbling in. I'm like. And I look over and I see my boyfriend Jefferson behind him. And I go, is that his son? I go, Shooter McGavin and his son are at my show. I start freaking out. I'm like, now I'm pacing backstage, and I'm like, well, happy, funny. So I like. I go on. And usually we do crowd work. I'm. I'm doing bits. I'm like, well, this guy. I come out guns blazing. I start doing the joke about where I asked men their. Their dick pick angle. And I go, anyone out here? And I go. And then I go, no wants to answer me. And then Jefferson, sitting with Shooter, goes, I'll tell you mine. And I'm like, shooting, son. I'm like, what is happening? So he starts telling me that. He's like, he has this dick pic where he puts his tiny little extra sketch in his penis. And I was like. And I have a joke about I should sketch. I'm like, what is this guy talking about right now? So I'm like, laughing at him. So I get off. I'm like, I do. I actually end up doing okay. I get off. And I'm like, fuck it. I'm going to go say hi to fucking Shooting Gap. I don't care. I never. Fan girl. So I walk over. I'm like, hello. Sorry to interrupt. And they're in this back booth. They like, three martinis, my clothes, Steph. And Shooter shook my hand. He's like, God damn it, woman, you're hilarious. And I was like, okay. And I'm like, oh, is this your son? And the Jefferson stands up. He's like, more of a nephew. And I'm like, huh? And he gives me a hug. He's like, you're so funny. And I was like, oh, okay. And then he's like, so do you get, like, a drink after? And I'm like, I'm so stupid. I go, no, I'M going home to bed. And he's like, oh, okay, bye. I'm like, see ya. And I ran out and I'm like, oh, my God. I'm a. I'm an idiot. So I. Do you know who Alex Pavone is?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Yes. Alex Pavone is my best friend. He's my opener. He's obsessed with Shooter McGavin in such a way. He got Shooter to do a cameo, to ask his buddies to be in his wedding party. So I text Pavi, I go, oh, my God, I just met you McGavin. And I think I'm gonna. His son. He's like, what? I'm like, I don't know. I'm gonna find him on Instagram. So I'm like, the whole way home, I'm like, why didn't I stay? Why didn't I? What is wrong with me? By the time I park my car, my house is a 15 minute drive. Jefferson has already added me on Instagram and DM me. And I was like, we're in, baby. That's all I needed. So I messaged him back. We started, like, kind of texting back and forth. And then the next morning, I, like, kind of go to bed. I'm like, whatever. He texted me the next day. He's like, can I have your phone number? It's easier that way. I'm like. So he calls me. So we're supposed to meet up for coffee. And I'm like, I'm going to suck his dick at coffee. I don't give a fuck. Like, he was even being that flirty. I was like, I will suck his cock just so I could tell Pavi I did it. Because at first I was trying to be funny about it. And then he called me and we had like an hour conversation. I've never just like, nope. Like, just full joking, laughing. I'm like, what the fuck is this? We end up, like, texting all weekend. He's at his uncle's Lake Arrowhead place playing piano for this big party that he had up there. He invited me and it's.

[Jared Freid]

Shooter McGavin is his uncle. It's really his uncle. Okay, yeah.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, no, it is his uncle. He is. I do. I have no photos of me and Shooter, but I like, I hung out with him a bunch. Shooter thinks I'm so funny. He literally, last time we hung out in New York, he was like, jefferson, marry her already, for God's sakes. And I was like, shooter, he, like, dies laughing at me. He thinks I'm the funniest person ever. It's insane. So that was it. We text for a full weekend. He was going back to New York. He was living in New York at the time. And then we ended up fucking talking every single day. We FaceTime for three months straight, to the point where I was like, I'm. Oh, no. Three weeks straight. We FaceTimed and I was like, I had to come see you. So I was in Calgary and I like, changed my dates. My dog sitter stayed longer. I flew to see him because he was in Nashville doing a play. I literally. I literally met him like before he went on stage. I was like, it was insane. And then we. In the back of his car immediately, because I'm sick. I. We had been talking like every day for. I'm talking like eight hours a day.

[Jared Freid]

What type of car?

[Steph Tolev]

He had a rental car. And we ruined the back of that. And then that's how they say.

[Jared Freid]

That's why they say to rent so you can.

[Steph Tolev]

That's why.

[Jared Freid]

As hard as you want.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, right. To ruin. Get that insurance. And then we spent the weekend together. Like two, two, three days together. And then the end of it. He's like, I want you to be my girlfriend.

[Jared Freid]

I was like, right away.

[Steph Tolev]

Right away. And I was like, you're moving to LA and you're moving in with me. And that's. That's that. And there it is. And then he was in. That was it. He. He. Because he already had been between houses anyway, so he was wanting to move out here with his uncle. And I was like, you're moving with me. So we've been living together now. We started living together three months into dating.

[Jared Freid]

A tale as old as time.

[Steph Tolev]

It's crazy. And like, we. The issue is we're so similar. So when we fight, it's like demented. It's like not normal. We like. It's scary. But when we don't fight, it's very nice. We're just very. We're too similar as the problems.

[Jared Freid]

Right? But that's.

[Steph Tolev]

It's good that people watch us are like, oh, look how funny they are. They're great together. And I'm like, when people are great together, you don't see how great they are fighting together too, because it's like, it's both sides of the coin there. Because we're both very stubborn. We're both very verbal and we're like, if something.

[Jared Freid]

So the fights are loud and long.

[Steph Tolev]

Oh, they're crazy. Oh, yeah, they're crazy. Yeah, they're. They're very Loud. They're very game.

[Jared Freid]

We're gonna play a filth queen themed. Would you rather.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay. Oh, I love it.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, These are all subjects from the special.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And we want everyone to go watch a special. And again, these are real subjects from the special. Would you rather sex swing or outdoors? Sex. Sex swing or out?

[Steph Tolev]

I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do out. Well, depends if it's. If it's with Jefferson, then sex wing.

[Jared Freid]

Why? What is the. I mean, because I.

[Steph Tolev]

The. Obviously I want to be Jefferson, but, like.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Steph Tolev]

The sex wing story from my special. That man was so repugnant. The idea of that makes me physically.

[Jared Freid]

Ill. Well, try and separate the swing from the man.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay. I can't. I. I want to say. I'm gonna say outdoors.

[Jared Freid]

See, outdoors. I'm going with sex swing. Outdoors. They're literally the opposite. As far as give is concerned.

[Steph Tolev]

Are you.

[Jared Freid]

Problem without. What are you in the swing?

[Steph Tolev]

Are you.

[Jared Freid]

I don't care. We'll figure out.

[Steph Tolev]

No, because put yourself in the swing. It's a different situation in there.

[Jared Freid]

Why? Because your body's not like, sitting.

[Steph Tolev]

Your body's not normal, and you look like a fat pig.

[Jared Freid]

It's not Right. I guess you would look like Humpty Dumpty.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, worse, you look like Humpty Dumpty, like, with fat pouring out of your body.

[Jared Freid]

But assuming I'm. I guess, right. Would I rather be bad? Like my. Because I think the ground and outdoors. You think the ground has more give than it has. Like, when you have sex on the beach, you're like, oh, it's gonna be like a waterbed. And then you forget the beach doesn't move.

[Steph Tolev]

No. And the beach is bad because there's sand fleas. I. I was thinking, like, sand fleas. Oh, they're sand fleas. You can't be in the sand.

[Jared Freid]

That's more a woman problem than a.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah, well, what if one is your p hole?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I wouldn't want to flee in my p hole. All right. Would you rather BJ to give a shower? BJ Or a sauna? Bj Shower. Rather shower.

[Steph Tolev]

I. I almost passed away in the sauna.

[Jared Freid]

So the sauna story that you tell that is just. You're. You're serious to that advice. Do not give a guy a blow job. Do not do it in a song. You couldn't breathe.

[Steph Tolev]

I could not breathe. I was so dehydrated. It was not good.

[Jared Freid]

There is so drunk. I will say, having gone into saunas, not given a sauna blowjob, but I would say when you walk in, you have to, like, figure out your breathing.

[Steph Tolev]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You can't just walk in a sauna.

[Steph Tolev]

Go.

[Jared Freid]

It's not the same thing.

[Steph Tolev]

No, no. You have to reconcile everything. It's. And, like, just. It's not. You're not catching your breath properly. It's not good. And it's so hot in there. It's too hot to focus.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, we'll do two more. Would you rather have a hemorrhoid or diarrhea?

[Steph Tolev]

Diarrhea. If I have a hemorrhoid right now and I'm in hell, my hemorrhoid came back, I swear to God.

[Jared Freid]

Is it from pushing too hard when you should. I was always told that a hemorrhoid was.

[Steph Tolev]

That. It's not from that. Hemorrhoids are majorly from stress. Stress.

[Jared Freid]

The stress of pushing too hard from.

[Steph Tolev]

No, I don't. I do not push hard. I sit down. My anus is already open. Before I sit down and it comes out. I'm not. I'm on the toilet for less than a minute.

[Jared Freid]

You got to talk to Michelle Wolf about this. She was just talking about this. Like, women. I. I don't think women understand how much men love sitting on the toilet because you guys, like, rush through that.

[Steph Tolev]

I don't. I don't have time to be in there. There's no time. I. I go.

[Jared Freid]

No time. We just spent a half hour talking about nothing.

[Steph Tolev]

No, I. Well, this is what I'm doing, a podcast. The second we're done. This. I have, like, a hundred things to edit. The second we're done, like, it's crazy.

[Jared Freid]

One last one. Two. Two more.

[Steph Tolev]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Would you rather hook up with someone who has a messy bedroom or messy pubes?

[Steph Tolev]

Unless. Well, that's. That's messy pubes. Both ways. I would say. What kind of mess? Is there food in the bedroom or is it just, like, clutter?

[Jared Freid]

It. It's disgusting. It's a bedroom that you're disgusted by in the same way it's pubes you're disgusted by.

[Steph Tolev]

Well, when you say messy pubes, do they stink or they just, like, unkept?

[Jared Freid]

Unkept? I wouldn't say no. No smell. Unkept, then they obviously do not care for their pubes.

[Steph Tolev]

Well, there's a guy that, you know who's a comedian that I. I give a hand job to, and his pubes were so long, I couldn't even. I was like, they were getting caught in my hand. They stick out of his pants. I can tell you off air who it is.

[Jared Freid]

Was he like, ow, ow, ow.

[Steph Tolev]

Like, no, nothing. And they were. I'm like, they looked like you straightened them. I'm like, did you blow dry these to make them longer? Like they didn't make any sense. Sense. They were so. Let's take a straight. They were so straight.

[Jared Freid]

He pulls out a little mini iron. He's like, hey, yeah, hold on.

[Steph Tolev]

They were so long. Like, I'm not joking. Now that I've told you, you're going to see him at the Cellar and you're going to see them peeking out of the top of his pants. And you're going to be like, oh, she's right.

[Jared Freid]

You've just narrowed it down a little bit. I need.

[Steph Tolev]

I think you know exactly. I'll tell you after.

[Jared Freid]

Long and straight pubes.

[Steph Tolev]

Longs.

[Jared Freid]

That's crazy.

[Steph Tolev]

It's absolutely nuts.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, what looks worse on a man? Him titty fucking or him fumbling to open a lock?

[Steph Tolev]

Titty fucking.

[Jared Freid]

They we really look that bad while titty fucking.

[Steph Tolev]

And you look horrendous.

[Jared Freid]

You pointed out in the special. I go, oh, yeah. That is like. It's honestly the male titty fucking position. It's like trying to look bad.

[Steph Tolev]

It's. There's nothing. No one looks good from that angle. That angle of you cowarding on top of us with your full double chin just, like wet and shaking and, like, forcing it in. It's so gross. It's such a gross move.

[Jared Freid]

Who even thought that was, like, a smart thing to do it?

[Steph Tolev]

Unless you have Gigantor tits?

[Jared Freid]

It's like, is there any woman that would like titty? Like, is that.

[Steph Tolev]

Some do.

[Jared Freid]

Is that a misogynist move to use a woman as a prop?

[Steph Tolev]

It's bizarre. It's bizarre. I. I don't know. I haven't done it. I don't think I've done it in years.

[Jared Freid]

I've done it. I've done it. I've done it with my tits. Long clip right between my tits.

[Steph Tolev]

Long right between your tits.

[Jared Freid]

Steph Tolev, thank you for coming on.

[Steph Tolev]

Thanks for having me.

[Jared Freid]

Go watch the special. It is called Filth Queen. She is the filth queen at Steph Tollev on Instagram. The link to the special is directly below where you clicked to listen to this episode back next week. Boom.