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It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there. I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag Monday. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is Jay Train, Jared Freed coming you live from Providence, Rhode Island. That's right. Every Monday is a ma Mailbag Monday where I take your emails and give some advice, some perspective, some thoughts and listen. I want to thank you for listening to this podcast. I was thinking about this because I was on my way to Providence from Manhattan. I'm on the train and I'm like, I gotta tape Mailbag Monday. This is August 29th is the date of taping, which is pretty close or way closer than we usually are to when these things get taped. And I'm like, man, this, I appreciate you guys listening to this show so much. It is a weird show to listen to. I'm thinking about it like, yeah, oh, oh. I love this podcast with this 40 year old guy who's never been married, has no kids, gives advice out of his to people who are in need and it's like, thank you. If you enjoy the perspective, the fun, the laughs you get from this, that means a lot to me. I would love for you to tell a friend about the show. If there's something that we discuss here that you discussed at a brunch table or over text with someone, send them the episode. That's, that's my ask. Also, support the sponsors, follow on YouTube, check out the Instagram and send your emails. If you do have a question, you want something that this guy can give you some thoughts on, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna shoot you straight because I don't have to make eye contact with you. So you send it to j train podcast gmail.com, that's J train podcast. Or you can DM@J train podcast on Instagram, send a DM. I got two emails in front of me. I got one sponsor support. The sponsor supports the show. If it helps you help use the. Use the code and it helps us. That's the circle of podcasting. I saved the note at the end in the middle. It didn't feel like I was going to hit it, but I felt like I hit it. It. I'm in Providence, I'm excited to be here. I got a show and I'm also on the road. Winnipeg, Kansas City, Richmond, D.C. the theaters are coming up. Assemble the group chat. I got a fun show I'm working on here in Providence. I got five opportunities and they said the tickets are selling. So life is good. You know, I'm happy. I'm, I'm, I'm happy. I, I. Listen, I could complain. I do every Tuesday on Tick Tock Tuesday, but I'm, I'm, I'm enjoying the, the ride or I'm trying to. I got your emails. I got two emails. I think I got two emails are a bit, A little bit long. And then in between them, I'll do the, the, the ad. So. Thank you. Subscribe. Follow. There's. There's a new YouTube clip. I think we did one from the seller this week. Every Saturday, I'm putting up stand up on YouTube. It is driving me absolutely crazy. That's the thing. You can complain about your life and still like your life. I like my life. And I'm complaining that YouTube just doesn't seem to happen for me. But I would love for you to go check it out and comment and like and do all those things that mean nothing to you in the world. To me. So. Or maybe. Maybe a like means. Yeah, I guess a like means something. You know, when I go, I do this thing and you can let me know if you do it as well. But I do this thing where I go on Instagram and I'm like, okay, you have to like every post until you just can't do it. Try it. Try it. Because honestly, if you just can't do it, you should probably unfollow whatever that account is. You make a promise to yourself. And I think I've talked about this on podcasts before, but I just go through the whole. I scroll and then I go, okay, whatever comes up, as long as you look at it, you're gonna like until you're like. It's excruciating. So it does mean something. That's. And that's the nature of. That's kind of why I've done this for so long, is I find a podcast very meditative to know and feel seen that. I mean, those are all just. I don't know if those words make sense, but I do feel that it is nice to hear that the things that someone could easily say don't matter at all. Do matter a little bit. Just a little bit. And then you, you know, unpack them. And that's what makes me feel better. Like admitting that, like, when I go on Instagram and I do that, like that I play that game. I'm gonna like everything. Try it. Give it a shot. You'll feel kind of stupid, kind of weird. You'll feel very giving. Look at Me liking all this stuff, people I would never like. I just did it in the pooper. I just did in the toilet. So. All right, let's get to the emails. Jtrain podcast, gmail.com Again, we want your emails. Keep sending them in, whatever you're going through. Relationship, lifestyle, friendship, family. All questions are welcome. Jared, big fan of the podcast, proud benefits and Patreon subscriber. Thank you. That is truly so kind of. I just did a Patreon episode yesterday, and it was about being in San Francisco, and that's out right now. If you're listening to this on Monday, happy Labor Day. End of the summer. I mean, this is the time of year for relationship questions, for dating questions. I would say that just because, you know, the. The receipts are coming due the. You know, the checks are coming due the. I'm not even using the right word. The. You got to make payments on your promises this time of year, summer. Oh, I'm traveling. I'm going to be here. I'm going to be there. I can't do the date. Fall is when the date can and should happen, and that's when questions arise. Why is this person that I've been talking to and getting a vibe from and feeling good things from, why is that changing? This is the time of year for that. I think this is the time of year where this show is, like, at its peak. But I, you know, that's just me patting myself on the back. Okay, so thank you for being a benefits and patron subscriber. So this is my. They're them. Being a part of those, you know, those places, paying for it gives me a chance to push Patreon. The link is in the bio. I talked about San Francisco. I talked about a video I put up on Tick Tock that got, like, a very weird response. Not a weird one. I understood it, but it felt. The vitriol on my TikTok felt. And this is conspiratorial. It felt fake. It felt like it came from bots that wanted angry discourse, which I'm not. I try not to be that person, but it's hard to not see it that way. You can go to my Patreon and check that out. So for more context. And then they write for context. I'm a male in my mid-30s, live in a large city. I'm sure we're a lot alike. That's great. Thank you. My question is, what are your thoughts on the similarities between searching for a partner and searching for a career? Hmm. I guess before we get to your Email. I've always found the. You know, Jordana points this out on you up all the time. To me, that my feelings towards comedy and the banging my head against the wall of it all and wanting my specials to be sold and wanting to be accepted by the standup community, all the comedy stuff that I go through, the business stuff, sounds like someone who's going through it with dating. So I don't know if it's the pursuit of a part. I. I guess to me that's the similarity is the. Because I don't feel like I'm searching for a career. I. But maybe that is what I'm doing. I do think career pursuits and relationship pursuits. Yes. Are very similar. I'm experienced both at the moment. Well, I guess same with me. I find that my pursuits for comedy are more forthright. No, that's not the right word. I'm not. This is like wrong word day. Are more purposeful, thoughtful than my relationship ones. I'm kind of apathetic to relationship ones, but okay, I'm experiencing both at the moment. They both feel it. Feel the same to me. Sending out resumes or swipes, hearing nothing back, rinse and repeat. Both feel like a game with no clear strategy for success. Well, that's the thing. It works in all ways. Every success in business, every success in relationship. How did you get started? Where did you meet? It's like everything is possible and it's hard to say, like, well, what is the constant. What is the thing that, you know, that all successful businesses have? You know, all. If I've learned anything so far, it's that if you don't hear back from either in a day or two, then you're lost in the abyss. It feels like there are only a few ways to achieve success. One, the setup being set up with a job opportunity or person to date. Well, I don't. I don't think. Here's what I would pause on this. I think all ways are ways to success, and that's not good advice. And I think saying one is like when someone says, well, we met in high school. And, you know, like, that doesn't help the conversation. I do think a setup is, like, great. I mean, that's the same for, like, when I would sell life insurance. You know, you want a recommendation, that's an easier. A warm link. You want. Of course. So two, the professional working with a career coach or matchmaker to help increase the odds of success. I don't know. I don't know if. 3. Luck. Yeah, luck has a lot to do with it. Coming across a job or opportunity by luck or person to date in real life, I, you know, luck is, I like the line. As douchey as it sounds, luck is when preparation meets opportunity. I think with relationship is luck happens when you're being your best self. You know, like, I don't think you have to love yourself to love someone else, but I do think you have to be like thoughtful about yourself and be able to like, you know. But there's a lot of up people that are in relationships but being in a relationship isn't just enough to me. I want to be in a good one. So this is me vamping. Would love to hear your thoughts on the similarities between searching for a partner and searching for a career. Thanks for all you do. Signed Lifestyles of the Modern Dating Millennial. I would say, I think the one thing about your email and trying to like do this. I hear what you're saying. I and I agree with you. The pursuits feel very similar. I think the one thing to take away is like from, from. I guess my feedback is boxing yourself off is like probably the worst thing you can do. This idea of like set up professional career coach and, and luck like it because if that's how you're zoning in on life, then you're gonna like miss out on all this other stuff. Like, you know, other ways. I don't know, like, it's not this mathematical. You know, this is a very heady, this is a tougher one for me to answer than the normal question that comes in because it's a little bit like, you know, this feels like it's, it's, it's a way bigger topic than I can do in the five to 10 minutes that I do these emails. But I will say I feel the, for me, the, like if I think of the setup. Yeah, most of my career opportunities came from warm leads and the same for like meeting people that I really liked and was excited about. It came from, you know, so much of relationship excitement is like, you gotta meet this person. I think they'd be great for you. That is a different meeting than we met on the app and maybe we'll go out and get drinks. That's totally different. There's an excitement value and I think when you're excited, you're a better, you're just a better, you know, version of yourself. Now when it comes to like, work stuff, I, I can say for me what's interesting is that most of the things that have happened for me throughout my career is because of you. The audience. Not because there was someone somewhere in a big office casting department that was like, he's got the goods. Like, I, I, I say this a lot with, you know, this is something I say a lot that I don't know how it sounds, but, like, I do find that sometimes I have to pay the tax when it comes to, like, a lot of the things that I go for. You know, let's talk about the special. You know, I've now produced two of my own standup specials. No one's come to me and been like, I'm betting on Jared Freed. I had to bet on myself. But also, I knew that I had a bunch of betters in you guys. You guys were betting on me in a way. Not that you were, like, thinking about me or, you know, I'm, I'm not saying in that way, but I'm saying I knew I had this group of people that I could show my stuff to and that would click on the link if I put it out, hey, I'm on Netflix. And there would be, you guys would be there. And like, even like the Tonight show, the first time I did it was from someone who listened to J Train, like, it all. So. But that also goes back to are you. And I think the big similarity between relationship and career is do you got the goods? Are you someone they want to talk about? And I do the book that's coming out, I'm doing the book. It's coming out in June. There's a big part of the book is like, and again, like, I try, you know, so when I do stand up, like, I take a lot of, you know, when I say to you, bring your friends, I know you're going to have fun at the show. I got to be good enough that your friends go, wow, this was like a different level. We didn't even know, we thought he was just this guy who does the Bachelor, does the podcast. We didn't think he was going to be like, one of the best stand up shows that we've seen. And I come in prepared for battle that way. So I think the same goes for relationship and getting set up. Are you who they think of when they think of single people that should be with someone? Are you fun with them and their husband? That's why I'm like, go hang out with the husband and wife. Does the wife think of you and go, ugh, that guy's gross. Or do they go, you gotta meet this guy. It's two different things. And again, like, does the husband think, oh, she's so cool. She's so fun. It's my wife's friend that, like, anytime single comes up there who I think of and not in a negative way, in a positive way, I think I try to do that for myself with, stand up with comedy. And that's why the audience has been so generous with me. So, and I hope that's the case. So I think that's the one instead of categorizing because saying 1, 2 and 3, which I do think is limiting, I wouldn't want to limit myself to like, well, number three is luck. And I hear what you're saying, but I would say the most important thing is like, are you, who are you there? Coca Cola. That would be my thought on, between business and, and relationships when, when the thought of, you know, single comes up. Are you, are you the Coca Cola? You know, when, when comedy comes up, are you the Coca Cola? Well, I know Jared Freed. I, I, I think that's, that's the big, you know, oh, you know, hey, nice to meet you. Oh, you seeing anyone? No, I'm single Jared Freed. That's a guy you got to meet. Oh, my God. So, and that's a flattering compliment. And I'm just saying, you know, I bring up Coca Cola because when someone says soda, Coca Cola. Done. So that's, those are my thoughts off the top of my head to what's going on to that question. J train podcast@gmail.com jtrain podcast gmail.com we are sponsored Herobred. I, I do love Herobred. I got it in the freezer. If you had the choice between regular bread and bread with more fiber and less carbs and bread that you can feel good about eating, you're going to take the feel good bread, which is Herobred. Herobread has already kept your diet on track with their bagels, dinner rolls and sliced bread loaves. And now they're leveling it up even more. They've launched Hero Noodles. I gotta get these. I love a noodle. Hero Noodles that are packed with protein and have 60% fewer calories than other brands. They've only got 5 grams of net carbs, 0 grams of sugar, 12 grams of protein, and 32 grams of fiber. Again, fiber keep you fuller, longer. That's what we all want. We want to eat and be satiated. That's what Herobred is going to do with their Hero Noodles. You can finally have pasta night with none of the guilt. Hero Noodles works with your health goals, not against them. I got to try these. I Haven't tried them. I'm a fan of everything Hero does. I think their bread is great. You should go get it. I'm going to get, I'm going to put a call in to get the Hero noodles so I can try them so I can speak to them. I can't yet, but I just love the idea of being able to, like, have a noodle night. As always, Heroes has their staples like tortillas, hot dogs, hamburger buns, so you can eat all your favorite foods without derailing your progress. I have had everything except the noodles, and it's as good as, if not better than, just whatever bread you're getting. So that's my stamp of approval. Plus, we're going to give you some free money. Hero bread is offering 10 off your order. Go to Hero Co use code J train at checkout. That's J trainhero co. So Hero code J train. Okay, let's do another email. We have three, by the way. I, I, I was mistaken. Let's do three emails. Jared, big fan and I need help. I am in my late 20s and I've never been in a relationship. I'm ready to start dating, but I'm still a virgin. I'm embarrassed sharing this with anyone and do not want to detail. I am. Let me say I read this wrong. I, I'm ready to start dating, but I am still a virgin. I'm embarrassed sharing this with anyone and do not want to deal with any judgment. Do you think I need to tell a guy or is it okay to not bring it up? I'd rather not share, but would love to know what you think. Thanks. Well, I'm not here to tell you what to do. Let's start with that. I appreciate that you brought this to the podcast and it, it's hard to do. It's hard to write these words out, I am sure. And based on how you wrote it, you have. You're feeling you don't want to deal with any judgment as you wrote. So let me be the bearer of bad news. Everything you do is getting judged. So what you're asking for is unrealistic. Whether you're a virgin, whether you've slept with one person, two person, three person, 17,000 people. Everyone has judgments for every single number and they're not your problem. There's nothing you can do about them. I think that's the freedom that I'm trying to like, I'm trying to help you change your perspective because your perspective right now is I'm in my late 20s. I'm still a virgin. That is bad. And I would say that is not the truth. Whatever you are, you is. And if someone likes you, they're going to just judge you as that and still like you. If the, and honestly, if I'm a virgin at late 20s, if I'm, I'm a, if I'm a 28 year old virgin, scares someone away, I would feel lucky they're not for me. They weren't going to be a better boyfriend or girlfriend if you, if they didn't know, you know, they were still gonna be a piece of shit no matter what. It just was gonna come in a different amount of time. Would you rather find out that someone is not the person for you now or later? Because that's kind of what you're asking for when you, when you keep things to yourself and you're not vulnerable. It is vulnerable. And if you're not ready for that, don't force it, don't date. Maybe hold back. Also don't tell people. That's okay. But know that sometimes the judgments are helpful. Like here's the thing, if someone said to me, if I'm dating a 28 year old and they're like I'm a virgin, I'm going to judge them. I'm also going to act in a way that protects myself for what I'm looking for. We're all looking out for ourselves. We're looking where we write in the key of me. We are the star of our own movie. So if you say, hey, I'm a 28 year old virgin now, they know this is a subject that we need to care for, that we need to discuss, that we need to unpack. That's what a adult who's mature would do. Now if someone doesn't do that now, you know you're dealing with a child, someone who's not an adult, someone who's not mature. So I, I see what you're saying because you're like, I don't want to tell anyone I'm a virgin and I'm in my late 20s because I'm embarrassed. There's got to be a change that you can do. I don't know how you do it, but maybe, and it's probably going to take practice and time where you flip the script that this is your power, this is the way you suss people out. I think that's as I'm talking through this, that's your problem, isn't being a virgin your problem is that you're hoping to be liked. And I mean to go back to, like, the career and stuff. And it's like comedy. It's like, if you do comedy, if, you know, I could give this advice to myself. Jared, if you're doing comedy to be liked, you're not really doing great comedy. If you're doing comedy that you like and whoever likes it can be there with you, then you're doing good stuff. You're probably going to be ahead of the curve. And this is my advice to you. Do you want to be ahead of the curve? Do you want to be ahead, you know, to own your taste and to, you know, the. The. This could be this. And honestly, I'm saying this, and I'm like, I'm hoping it gets through because you said, do you think I need to tell a guy? If I was. If I was dating you, I would want to know, would that change how I treated you? Yes, but that would be for the better. That would make you feel a lot. I think you would feel a lot better knowing that whoever you're dating is going to make sure that they are respectful. Make sure that. And if they're not being that way, if someone heard you're a virgin, goes, oh, who cares? You know, that's not even the right. And. And heard that you. It mattered to you. My advice to you with this virginity stuff is to own your story. But I can't tell you to do that. Like, I'm not gonna, like, sit here and say you're wrong. Like, you feel how you feel. But I was. I think the more you own your story, like, if I was dating someone who's a ver. Why. What made you. It was a religious reasons. Was it? It just never happened. Was it because you wanted to be in a relationship first? You said you've never been in a relationship. Okay, that makes. That all makes sense to me. And maybe that means it takes longer for this to happen for you, for the relationship to happen to you, but you'll be happier. It took longer because if you don't. Let's. Let's go the other route. You don't say anything, and then you get in a relationship with someone, and now you end up losing your virginity to someone, and they didn't really. And they didn't know, and then they didn't care for it in the way that it should be cared for. And make sure that you feel as comfortable as possible. You know, those are all things that you know that you might feel badly about afterwards and go, oh, I. You know, I. Now I'm not a virgin, but I'm also with this person that I don't really know as well and they don't know me as well and I wasn't, you know, this is, I, I'm. Listen, vulnerability is always the answer and it's hard. It's diet and exercise. It's going to take longer, it's going to be harder, it's going to be more embarrassing. You might divulge information to someone who doesn't handle it correctly and then. But I, I'm not going to give you the, I mean, no, the thing is I, I appreciate you coming to me. I, I think if, I think I'm not a genius. I think anyone would give you, Anyone who wanted the best for you, which, if you're writing to me, I want the best for you would, I hope, say the same thing as me. So listen, I hope that helps. I do think this is a good, it's a good thing. Like, listen, anyone who acts badly is an asshole. And then also, let's work on the story. Let's, let's think about it. What got us here, what got us to late twenties virgin, never in a relationship. And all answers are correct because it's you. It's fine. That's your story. Own it. J train podcast.com jtrain podcast gmail.com. we have a, a little bit of a longer one, so get ready. Jared, huge fan. First time writing in. Thank you. I discovered you through bachelor screams at the beginning of the pandemic. Then listen to you up and now a daily listener to J Train three. Thank you. I listen to you while I get ready for work and it feels like I'm hanging with a friend. Thank you. I'm a 37 year old single woman. My ex and I broke up two years ago in August, so. Two years ago in August. Okay. About a month later I, I met Rebound Guy, 44. He works in my office building and I had hired him to do some contract work for my company. He is not someone I would swipe yes. He's not someone I would swipe yes on, on the apps. But his energy in real life was really magnetic and attractive. Through a mutual friend, we found out we were both into each other and he asked me out. Although I found him a little too talkative and slightly, slightly pretentious. On the first few dates, our physical chemistry was undeniable. We had mind blowing sex. Not only was he large, biggest I'd ever. Such a funny detail. I, I listen. Okay. Not only was he large, biggest I'd ever seen or been with, well Good for him. But he was extremely good at giving head and fingering. This guy's, he's a three tool player. I had never orgasm multiple times in one night before our intercourse. I mean this guy put this, put this on his resume. Our intercourse felt very emotionally connected. The sex felt like a drug. Well, good for you. Good for you guys. I'm happy for you. That can happen. I, I, no doubt. Sometimes you just have a vibe with someone and it works out like, you know, to go back to the virgin, you know, this is the reason to talk and let someone know what you like and dislike or don't know and know. I mean, to relate the two emails. You have someone who's like the biggest penis I've ever seen and he knew how to work it and finger. That all took time. That all took experience. That all took. But again, this is two people talking. So I hope that person listens to this and can find some relatability and like, oh, that could be me in the future. But like holding back on who I am isn't how I get there. But that's, that's again, I'm, I'm now off track. Okay. Sex felt like a drug. We dated and for three whirlwind months before he left for a two month trip for work, we decided to take a break as I had just gotten out of my last relationship and didn't feel ready to date more seriously just yet. And he agreed and said the same. Okay, when I hear that, I hear two people who understand this is more physical than it is emotional. He's going for work three months in. Hey, let's take a break. You're gonna be away. I think that's two people saying we want. In my opinion, that's two people who are, that's as about as amicable as it can get. You, go ahead. It, the easy excuse is he's going away for work. So no one's personal. No one's, you know, no one's hurt personally. It's not personal. It takes it away from that. It's a good excuse that's built in. While he was gone, I missed him and the sex. But when I would. And she wrote that I don't want people to I, I in parentheses sex. But when I would reach out, he seemed distant and cold. Yeah, this is the thing. Like this guy moved on with his big old to the next town. And this was, I don't know, I don't want to put too much on it. When he got back, I thought he would, we would Reunite. But when I. When he got back, I thought we would reunite. But when we met up, he told me he wanted to leave our relationship in the past. Again, the easy exit. And I do think it was amicable. I'm going by what you wrote, but when you say you're going away for work, we have time and space between us. Hey, not about you. It's about the time and space. I'm gonna just. Let's leave it in the path. He took the route out that I would take in a great sex, great person, not my person type of deal. I found out months later that he had started dating someone else while he was away. And that can happen again. You guys were broken up, so now he's on the market. And that's the risk you take. And that's the risk he takes of losing you, too. I was devastated. It took me a long time to stop ruminating and move on emotionally from the hurt. The detox was intense. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. This past winter, we decided to catch up over drinks, and I realized I had been hypnotized by the D all along. I actually was turned off by his personality. He monopolized the conversation, made passive aggressive comments about others, and was weird and stingy with money to a point that it made me uncomfortable. Okay, great. The problem is that to this day, I still fantasize about him. I've dated and slept with several men since we broke up in February 2024. Yet almost every time I have sex, I think it's not as good as it was with the rebound guy. This is tough. I feel doubtful I will ever have that high of satisfying sex with a man ever again. Well, I think attitude plays into this a lot. I think, even writing that out. Listen, maybe that's the case. Maybe on your deathbed, you'll be thinking about rebound guy and how he got you off with his pinky. But let's not make our words our spells. I. I think, like, if you said that to me, I'd be like, okay, well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. You haven't met every man in the world and realized he's the only one who has the key. That's just not how it is. Now. Is it nice that you had this experience? Is it nice to know what felt good and how it felt good and have the ability to, like, try and work your way up that mountain and see if someone else could do that for you? That's the fun of life. That's the spice of life. I think you're limiting. And again, I bring up that word again because the negativity is limiting right now. You saying I'll never find that again. If you found it once, you can find it again. I disagree with you. I know. And this is why people chase good sex and it distracts them from what could be good relationships. They're so hung up in saying with the negativity. I think the negativity is more your issue than anything else. Could I feel doubtful I will ever have that high of a satisfying sex with a man ever again? Could this be true? It could be, but I don't think saying it is helpful. I want to find my husband, but what if I'll always be comparing the sex to rebound guy? I. I can't promise you that you won't be honestly this person that you know you don't like and don't have a future with. Maybe that sex is worth thinking about and treating as if it's porn. When you go to your masturbatory times, maybe that what it becomes. That's what it becomes. This just fun thing you think of and you go back to the people you love, you know, the. The husband that you love. That could be true. What's wrong with that? Would you feel like. Like, would you ra. You know, it's like loved and lost and never loved at all. Would you rather have an orgasm or to never have orgasmed at all? I don't think so. I think that what happened is good. The knowledge that you can get there is good. You know, it's like two different ways to think about it. I can get there. Oh, my God. Wow. I can feel pleasure like that. That might happen again. That's kind of inspiring. Or I got there and I'll never go back because this person and I aren't together. That's like. That's sad. And you can think of it in two different ways. It's the glasses half full versus half empty. I want to find a husband. What if I'll be. But what if I'll be comparing the sex to rebound guy? Maybe I have to have sex with rebound guy one more time to break the spell. No, I don't think. I don't think that's helpful. This is what I was talking about before. That's when the sex becomes a distraction. You are looking for a husband. As you wrote. You're looking for something serious. This sex is great. It's fun. It was nice. It's nice to know that you can get there, that you can find that with someone let's concentrate all our energy on the next person that might have it all, that might have the great sex in a way that you haven't thought of. That's another thing you have to remember. You didn't know sex was like this until you met this guy. To say that that can't happen again is actually insane. You might meet someone else that you connect mentally with. That makes the sex work in another way that you hadn't imagined to this point. That's the fun of it all. I think going back to this guy would be solidifying the negativity. Well, I can't find it anywhere, so I'll go to the back to this guy who sucks. But, you know, the dick is great. I don't think that helps you. I don't actually want to do that. Okay, good. Maybe I have to have sex with rebound guy one more time to the spell. I don't actually want to do that. Maybe you have advice for me to stop thinking about rebound guy and move on for good. I. And then they sign a dick whipped. And over it. I. I don't know how to tell you to get. Listen, there's. I, I'm. I'm sitting here, I've. I've thought about people I've been with and exes, and I've had, you know, those thoughts myself. The fun of being single is, is keeping the hope that you can find the best version of a relationship that you can, you know, and that involves all the things, you know, would sex with a guy with a big. I guess think of it this way. Big cock McCockerson sex with a big dick guy who gets you off with his pinky. That feels great. But you don't like him. He's not the person you enjoy laying in bed with. Would it feel as good to be with someone else who gets you off in a different way that you like? Like, how great would that be? That's the hope. Let's not forget the goal, I think. Let's not let the defeats. And this isn't even a defeat to me. This is a win. You. You got off. And you know what you like. That's like, that's like a big part of the solution of you getting closer to where you want to be. So that's like my overriding positive. This was a very, like, pep talky version of the J Train podcast. But I, I think it's necessary. I think your words are limiting you. J Train podcast. Com back next week. Boom.