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It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there. I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag Monday. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. Is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania? That's right. Every Monday is a mail back bag Monday, where you, the listener, email me, the comedian for some advice. That's the show. We do three every Monday. I have three emails in front of me. I have two sponsors. So we're going to go email, sponsor, email, sponsor, email. The emails look thick. I'm looking at them right now and I like to read them with you as you listen to them. That's the show. If you have a question for this show, jtrain podcast gmail.com that's jtrain podcast gmail.com and it can really be anything. And I'm not like, you know, I've been doing this show for a long time. Why would someone email me? I, I, I've been getting advice emails for over a decade now. And I think it, it is really a compliment. Thank you. Thank you to you, the listeners who have emailed in the past. Thank you. Just listening. But if you're wondering, should I send it in? Send it in. This is all about giving a hug and whispering some truths in your ear based on the emails that you write. You know, I don't have to make eye contact with you. I don't know who you were in third grade or where you might not trust my advice because you're like, well, you're just judging me based on when we were in elementary school and I, my pants in third grade. Yeah, I, I don't have that. I got the words you wrote. That's how I judge you. So jtrain podcast gmail.com there's, you know, I, I've been on the road for what feels like three years now. I have one date on the calendar at this point and there might be more because I'm just trying to make, we're trying to figure it all out as far as what my schedule is going to be going forward. That sounds really way more. That's way too vague for what's going on. There's a special coming out. This is all to say there's a special coming out. My ask of you is there's, there's three, there's ways to help this show. It is use the sponsors. If their promo codes and whatever they're offering can help you join the Patreon. Patreon.com Jared Freed. That's where I do coffee with J Train, my personal diary every Friday and share the show, make it your Instagram story. Tell a friend, you know, send one of the problems here, maybe you were talking about at brunch with a friend this weekend. Send this to them. And then the other way to help this show is to watch the special. Watch a special that is made to make you laugh. It is called the Family Plan. It's coming out on Netflix. And I, you people, you, you people though you, the people who listen to this show, you guys are my number ones guys are the people that, you know, I have a direct line to. So I, I would love for you to share the special. That's because that special is, is a wrapped with a bow piece. That special, the Family Plan, it talks about being on the, being on the family plan as an adult. The cell phone plan, my parents paying for my cell phone bill. It is about body issues and my, you know, millennials and boomers and all those things. So, and, and I really think you're gonna love it if you haven't seen it already or a version of it already. When I did it on the road, I did on the road two years ago. I'm already on to other materials, so it's coming out. I can't really announce much more because we're gonna have a big announcement. There's gonna be trailers and all that stuff. So that is it. Let's get to the emails. Jtrain podcast gmail.com Jared Feather Feather. First off, it might have been fatigue from my treadmill session, but I heard you got recently. Yeah, I have a girlfriend. That's why I'm in Philadelphia. I'm at her place right now. Unless this is, unless this is a figment of my imagination for reasons. Congrat, congratulations and I hope you're happy. Okay. That's a weird way to write. I hope you're happy. I, yeah, I think I'm okay. I'm, I'm enjoying my relationship. I'm 38 year old male and I'm in a new, newish relationship. So maybe they're not happy is why they're writing it to me this way. I'm a 38 year old male and I'm in a newish relationship with a 30 year old female. We went, we met on Breeze. Yes, a dating app over four months ago. I, I, I'm not f, I listen, I, I've been in a relationship for a little bit. What is Breeze? I, I guess I should look this up because that is like something I've never heard of like I don't even know what the premise of the app Breeze I thought was sounds like a cruise for older people. The Breeze dating app replaces online chatting with real life meetings by matching users, skipping text conversations and automatically scheduling an offline first date. Huh. See I with an app like that I would want more qualifications. I, I need something I need some sort of bouncer how it works no chatting. When you match with someone you skip texting completely and go straight to a date planner. I, I would want to know that these people are vetted you know because you just set up with any person based on whose qualifications availability and booking both people enter when they are free and the app picks a time and a partner venue. The reveal the exact location of the partner bar or cafe is unlocked right before the date costs and rules to token system. You buy a date token roughly 10 to $12 up front to prove you are serious first drink. Your token fee typically covers or discounts your first drink at the venue. So they make deals with bars and restaurants and they say hey we're going to make sure there are people coming on a Monday night account freezing people who ghost or fail to show up to their accounts froze or are their accounts frozen to keep the platform safe? I don't know if that keeps it safe. I think that keeps people accountable I think but okay I listen I'm all up for you know the, the, the dating app thing is these are all gamifications of dating. This is all about finding ways to trick people into getting out of their own way which that's what Breeze is doing. Would I prefer it when I say I don't it's not saying something's not for me doesn't mean it doesn't shouldn't exist at all. And I think that's kind of the conversation that happens on the Internet where it's like I I love chocolate. That means I hate vanilla. No I but for me I, I do believe this app is created for people who think other human beings don't have the ability to make a date which I would disagree with. We would have a healthy debate about that. But I, I I like that this person met someone it got got them out of the house. I'm 38 in a newish relationship with a 30 female. We met on Breeze yes a dating app over four months ago and have been official for about a month and a half now. It is her first serious rel it is her first serious it is her first serious and in her words, hopefully endgame Relationship. I, I don't even. Again, this is, I like this email because it, it, it would be a fun discussion at a, at a brunch table. Because when someone says, hopefully endgame, I, I, I don't want to be someone. I, I don't know. They, Something about the sound of that is taking people out of dating again to go back. Not to be too hung up on Breeze, the dating app, where it's like, let's take away the humanity of texting with someone because there are people out there that think, well, I'm not good over text. I believe that's an excuse. I don't think that's, I think that's one person. I think you could be bad with someone specifically over text. I'm dealing with a situation. I'm trying to book podcasts. I'm texting with this guy about booking his podcast and coming on this show as an exchange for going on his podcast. And he is not working with me. He doesn't want me on his show. There's something else at play. Or I can believe he's bad at texting with someone about making a plan to come on his podcast. I would think that's a delusional route for me. I have to kind of give up on it. So and so when I hear like, you know, the Breeze app again, I think that is giving a crutch to people that might not need the crutch. But fine, it got you guys out to meet each other. But when you say it's her first serious and in her words, hopefully end game relationship, like, are you just trying to get out of this whole thing called dating with anyone who will take you. As for me, it's my first relationship in eight years, with my last relationship ending after three years. However, the eight years of the roller coaster that is modern dating, the in your 30s dating with intention era, has definitely shown some habits that even I know are, are a bit off. Namely this idea that if it's so quick for someone to cut things off, surely there's someone who would be just as quick to buy in. Okay, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get. However, the eight years of the roller coaster that is modern has definitely shown some habits that I even, I know, I guess that's saying you, you've developed habits. Okay, that you're. Namely this idea that if it's so quick for someone to cut things off, surely there's someone who would be just as quick to buy in. So you're saying it's a bad Habit of sor that you've developed where you're like, I can cut things off quick, but someone would buy. I, I don't know. I, I'm kind of a little confused. She is not that someone. She's the slow burn. She's the slow burn. Time with her is incredible. She is gorgeous inside and out. We have the important things and even the not so important things in common. But is it. But is at times hard to read due to her own self admitted hyper independence, something she is working on. Meanwhile, the slow burn, hyper independence combined with her being ever present. It doesn't sound, it does sometimes feel like I'm just this predetermined placeholder for who she really wants at times. Well, I mean when someone says hopefully end game, I'm kind of. And based on how you wrote this, which is a little confusing, it does sound like you're saying that you feel like you're just anybody. And she does feel the tension with me over this sometimes, almost literally since I apparently carry a lot of into my shoulders. Okay, I know that feeling is going to go away with more time spent. But from one guy who spent a majority of his 30s unattached to another, how can I just relax after years of not feeling steady with any connection that came across earlier? Sincerely, tense in the shoulders. I mean, you're asking how do you relax? I, you've been pretty vague. Let me just tell you right now. My takeaway from your email is you're avoiding telling me what you're upset with. That's my takeaway because you're she's the slow burn type. Beautiful on the inside and out. What's the problem? Because. But from one guy who spent a majority of his 30s unattached to another, how can I relax after years of not feeling steady with any connection that came across early? I don't know what you know, I think you're a little bit avoiding. Here's my takeaway from this email, which is honestly, I'm reading it like it's poetry. I, it's a lot of innuendo as I'm like to go back, it's my first relationship at eight years with my last relationship ending after three years. However, the la, the eight years of the roller coaster that is modern dating, the in your 30s and dating with intention era, again, a label you're putting on it that's not all of our eras, you know, you're putting a label on it to kind of absolve yourself, you know, like I, I, I, I think you're Doing a lot of, like, telling everyone we're doing, you know, this happens a lot in dating. We're, we're, you know, we're all trying to have fun. This is our fun era. How about. No, no, no, no. What's your era? Has Quick definitely shown some habits that I even know, even I know are a bit off. Namely this idea that if it's so quick for someone to cut things off, surely there's someone who would just be as quick to buy in. She is not that someone. She is the slow burn, which to me sounds like you're not getting as much as you'd like out of your time together or you're not getting enough time together, in your opinion. Time with her is incredible. She's gorgeous inside and out. We have the important things and even the not so important things in common. You don't know that you have, You've enjoyed, you know, when you say you met over four. Over four months ago, an official for about a month and a half now, you are enjoying someone's company and you enjoy it enough. I, I think you got to, like, slow it down. You're getting again, to go back to this email. It's so, it's written in such prose. I don't even know if I'm using that word right, but it's written in such. It's written so vaguely and so artistically that I'm like, like, I, I think you're. You're putting all these labels on it to, like, you know, to me. Let's simplify. I think that's my advice to you. Why are you so tense and you holding it in your shoulders? Simplify it. You're in a f. You've been dating someone five months. You enjoy time with them. You would like to keep spending time with them and getting to know them. And you are committed to them and you have been told that they are committed to you. Like, I, I think that's. I think you're getting too ahead of, like, describing how she is in relationships, how you are in relationships. And I think all of that is garbage to be said on a TikTok where someone thinks that they're the main character of a rom com. You are not. You are a normal Joe, just like me. We are normal Joes, okay? And you're enjoying someone's company, and I think it's okay to let that person know when you're let down and when you're turned on. You know, hey, I had a really good time with you tonight. That's an easy thing to say to someone that makes you feel good, that communicates to them that the time you had was really good. Hey, I haven't seen you in a week, and I need to spend time with you so that I can keep getting to know you. If someone said back to that, well, I'm independent and I'm a slow burn, I'd be like, okay, well, what's your. What's a date in the calendar that we can hang out? You know, I think that's where you're saying you're getting tense. I think that's a result of. And slow burn. Intense. And she's independent to me is all code words for she's not hanging out with me as much as I'd like to be hanging out. And I think that's okay to feel let down by. And I think it's okay to say to someone, if we can't hang out more, maybe I need to move on to someone else who can spend the time with me. I don't feel loved by you. I don't feel that you're investing the way I'm investing, and I'm investing in this. That's. That's my answer to you. Because even. Even it's. It's always interesting to me when someone writes to me like this. I. There's no reason to be l. You know, to be vague with me. I don't know you. Jtrain podcastmail.com Lola blankets. Winter, spring, summer, fall or wedding, Lola blankets are perfect for any season. Lola blankets are the perfect gift for special occasions and big moments. Lola is the number one blanket crafter with ultra soft and stretchy fabric. It's crazy comfortable, machine, washable, and built to last years. The design is timeless. The colors are elegant. It's simple luxury that people will actually use. I have a Lola blanket. They gave me one. And here. 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After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them, support the show and tell them J Train sent you. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola blankets. We have two more emails you can send in your email jtrain podcast gmail.com Jared Love the episode and all you do. I sent this for Mailbag Monday but wanted to write here too because I really need advice and I'm ticked off it. So I'm assuming this is a Patreon subscriber. You can sign up for patreon patreon.com Jared Freed you can when you sign up for Patreon, it's two perks. The first is coffee with J Train every Friday, which people really seem to enjoy. That is my personal diary. The second is that you can comment on Coffee J with your Tik Toff Tuesday and it's guaranteed to be read on Tuesdays. Now this was a mailbag Monday that they're also ticked off about. So we're going to read it here. I have a close friend that I've known since childhood. We went to high school. We went to high school and college together and although we haven't lived in the same state since college, we are both now 32. We see each other. Excuse me? We see each other, make the effort to visit at least a couple times a year and chat on the phone at least quarterly. Okay, it is. I like that. Listen, when you're friends with someone since you know childhood and went to college together, you share. There is no hiding from this friend. They know you the as the way you are. They know the nerd and loser you are. They, you know, it's a both comfortable friend and an uncomfortable friend because there's no performance for this friend. And and it's funny that like for someone that you're so close with, you're both, you know, you see each other, make the effort to visit at least a couple times a year. Chat on the phone at least quarterly is just a very zipped up way to refer to this friend. But okay. My friend and I both grew up solidly middle class. Currently my husband and I make good salaries and I'm optimistic we are on track to create a more comfortable life for our kids than we had growing up. My friend, however, got married last year and married someone in a significantly tire bracket. Okay, this is not what I'm ticked off about. Haha. Okay, the part that bothers me is that it's been the elephant in the room for us for the last year. The part that bothers me is that it's been the elephant in the room for the last year since we live far away. I didn't meet her fiance until the wedding and didn't have a clue about how wealthy he is until I looked up their new address and saw it's in the wealthiest neighborhood in the major city they live in. And I and then I obviously zillowed it and saw the price. 8 mil. Okay, my friend never mentioned this and hasn't brought it up. When we chat she talks about her life but not details about that mention the money. The last time I visited her before she moved in with her now husband was at her 800 square foot apartment she was renting with her average salary job. LOL. So what do I say when I walk into their mansion? Is it what weird she never mentioned this? Am I overthinking this? Thanks in advance for commiserating with this awkward situation. You know, this is interesting. I love this email because it's uncomfortable and it's. It. It doesn't make the emailer look good because they did this. Not the friend. The. The person who wrote this did brought all of this problem. You know, because the look at the part that bothers me is that it's the, it's the part that bothers me is that it's been the elephant in the last year. No, it's the elephant. Well, you didn't. You. You. It's the elephant in the room for you. We don't know what it is for them. Obviously if there's no mention of it, we can assume that they're uncomfortable bringing it up because it is so different than what you knew of them before. And again, this goes back to the person you went to elementary school and college with. There's no hiding. There's no performance. You know vaguely what level of income they've had, how they grew up and how they relate to the world financially. And you know that this is a new financial world that they are in so they could maybe hide it from the general person they meet on a Tuesday, but you are such a specific person in their life that they can't hide it from you. So it is weird for them to not bring it up. But it's also weird for them to bring up because how do they do it? I understand both sides here, because. And. And you're trying to say. When you say, currently my husband and I make good salaries, we're going to have a good life. Like you're not. And this isn't. You could be easily accused of jealousy. And I wouldn't accuse you of that. I would accuse you of being nosy, which we all are. I didn't meet her fiance until the wedding. Like, even when they met. I'm sure when. You know, it is weird if you go back through it, hey, I met a new guy, and he's great. And he's. He's actually like, crazy rich. Like, I don't. Because you would have some insecurities yourself. You're revealing that you would say, say something to a friend as well. But because you talk once a quarter, I could understand how. What. You know, we have these one talk ever. This one chitchat every three months or every four months. And how do I say, also, I'm incredibly rich. Now, the part that bothers me is he. Wait. So my friend got married last year, married someone in a significantly higher tax bracket. That is not what I'm ticked off about. The part that bothers me is that it's been the elephant in the room for the last year since we live far away. I didn't meet her fiance until the wedding and didn't have a clue about how wealthy he is until I looked up their new address. So I guess the wedding was pretty modest. So, you know, the wedding didn't tip you off. You look up their address and. And this is like, to me, this is why everyone's angry. If. If you think of, like, why is your friend, who's always on the Internet, angry and jealous? I mean, the fact that you can go look up someone's address, find out how much homes cost in the neighborhood, have an exact number that you now know you can't afford, and then you're sitting there because you used to have friends. Oh, my God. Yeah. They married someone wealthy. Okay, cool. So they got a, you know, an extra 100 grand, and then you. And you would just assume they were reachable. It's funny what the brain does to you when you. And then you find out the house costs $8 million and you're now doing the math on what the monthly is for the loan. You don't need that information. My friend never mentioned any of this. When we chat, she talks about her life, but not details that mentioned the Money. I. You. So you're saying, what do I say when I walk? When you walk. Well, so if you're gonna go visit her, I think the one thing. You have to stick to facts when it comes to getting her to be comfortable talking about this. And you can't be judgmental. It is very easy to look at someone with money and walk into their home and somehow create this world where you're morally above them. I think it's really easy to demean people with money. And. And this is not an easy take on the Internet. The Internet operates. And punch up, punch down. Rich people are awful. You know, anyone with less than. Is a more virtual, you know, has more virtue and, you know, all that stuff. And. And sometimes those things can be true, and sometimes those things can be untrue. I think the easy thing to do is to make someone feel, is to, you know, give someone and tell them how life. How their life is so much easier now. I don't think. I think going down that road would be a mistake. This is your friend. This is someone you have a long history with. I think when you walk into their home, you look at them and go, oh, my God, this place is amaz. Keep showing me around. I love this. I love that. This is great that, you know, when my friends have success and when your friends have success. And again, you could say, someone could say, well, marrying someone rich isn't success. Listen, as long as they're happy, it's success. Oh, my God, you have this wonderful life. I think you can be. I think, you know, when my. And so I don't want to get caught up on the success word, but, like, when my friends have business success or. Or even if I have a friend who's like, I'm leaving my job, I always try to say, congratulations. That's what I always try to say. Not, oh, my God, how will you make money? Not, oh, my God, what happened? That's amazing. Hey, I. I'm leaving my job. Congratulations. That's amazing. Good for you. That's a really tough decision to make. I think when you walk into their home, you have to come with love. And, oh, my God, this place is amazing. This is so great, because that's going to make them feel better and a little less awkward that you are just like, this is an awesome place. I need to hear more about it. You were living in an apartment before. This has got to be crazy for you. You. I think coming in with positivity will encourage them to be like, okay, good. They're not being Awkward about this. They're not making me feel bad. They're not saying, you know, making insinuations that I've married for money. Oh, now I know. You know, you walk into their beautiful mansion, that's 8 million bucks, and you go, well, now I know why you're into J. Reason that makes you the piece of. Even though it's the joke you could make, because, again, of the power dynamics. So don't get caught up in the power dynamics of the Internet, because those are losers. You know, I would come in with positivity, happiness. Oh, my God. And then at some point, you got to tell me about this house. What's going on? What does Jason do? Because what does Jason do? After seeing their $8 million house is a pretty normal question. That house is unbelievable. What's going on here? I bet you gotta come with positivity. You can't come with judgment. You can't be like, ooh, look at you. I guess someone has it easy. Oh, I guess not all of us have to go to work every day. That's a piece of shit. That's not someone I want to confide in, because your friend is gonna see that you're happy for them, and they're gonna go, I gotta tell you, this has been wild. Yeah. Jason's parents are lotto winners. Yeah. And then immediately gave him $10 million. And now we have this house, and I don't know how to operate here. You know, you're gonna find that rich people have problems too. She's gonna let you know. Oh, my God. I don't know how to operate in this world. But I only would confide in someone who was happy for me. Me. And was trying to be happy for me. J Train podcast, gmail.com. j Train podcast. @gmail.com we have another sponsor, Herobred. If you're a fan of the pod, you know how much I love hero bread. I do love Herobred. If you haven't tried it yet, you're missing out. Herobred is high in fiber, low net carbs, zero grams of sugar. Start your morning with Hero Heroes bagels. I've had the bagels. They're wonderful. Get your greens with their spinach and herb tortillas. Can't decide. Heroes welcome box is the perfect place to start. You never know. Hero bread is low net carved and high in fiber. The texture is surprisingly good and all tastes amazing. I love hero bread. I love it with my breakfast. I have egg whites and turkey sausage, and I toast up a piece of Hero Bread. And it's like, I just want an efficient breakfast. I want a breakfast that's delicious and doesn't put me into like this crazy calorie range. I want to start my day right. And Herobred does that for me. Plus plus, I just love that they're getting creative. Spinach and herb tortillas, great. The seasons are changing, but Hero Bread isn't taking any breaks, with limited edition drops happening almost every week. Get the good stuff before it's gone. Hero bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to Hero Co, use code Feather at checkout. That's code feather@h co. Okay. Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Okay. Go to Hero Co. Use code Feather at checkout. That's code Feather hro. Okay, we got one more email, has a screenshot. I just want to, I, I love that last email. I just want to go back to it for two seconds. I mean, it is because I've met these people and I, I, I, maybe I'm trying to figure out if I'm too online. I'm trying to figure that in my everyday life. But there is this Internet speak where the Internet has established rules for who you're allowed to make fun of and who you're allowed to be mean to. And when I hear the people that abide by those rules in public in my everyday life, I, I notice it right away. And I notice how funny they think they are and how on the edge they think they are. And I don't think it's a normal way to be with, with people in normal everyday life. I actually think they sound bad. I think they sound shitty. I think they sound jealous, and they sound like people who are not doing well themselves. So when it comes to your friend, I think it's really easy to go down that road. I think if you're just like, oh, my God, this is awesome. This is such a cool house. Oh, my God. Eight million. You don't say, you know, don't, don't reveal that you looked them up on Zillow. Oh, my God. This is like a, this is just crazy. This is awesome. I got the guest restroom, the towels, the, the, the backyard. And then I gotta ask, you know, what's the deal here? Like, how did, where did you find this house? What, what, what got you here? And I think they'll open up. That's my, that's my assumption. Last email. Dear J Train, my best friend, another best friend since elementary school, My best friend from elementary school through high school. And I have Slowly drifted apart. We went to college, we're in our mid-30s and only text every few months for birthdays or random nostalgia. Totally get it. Nothing bad ever happened between us and she's genuinely a kind person. The problem is I just don't enjoy spending time with her anymore. We don't share a sense of humor, have much in common, or even remember the same stories from growing up. Every time we're together, it feels awkward and forced. She, however, her won't let the friendship fade. I've invited her to my wedding and baby shower out of guilt, not because we're actually close. Whenever I visit our hometown, I make sure to see her because I'm afraid she'll find out I was there and be hurt. I think she knows something has changed, but she keeps reaching out anyway to make things worse. I think her husband believes I'm a terrible friend because he can probably tell I'm not as invested as she is. Now she's asking if she, her husband and their child could come visit us for an entire weekend with the expect. This is horrible. With the expectation that we'll spend the whole time together. The thought of hosting them honestly gives me anxiety. I'm anxious reading this. Maybe this is the rich friend from the last email being like, oh my God. They keep asking about staying at our house, but we have too many rooms. I don't want to. I don't want to. Ruined by these poor people. How do I say no without crushing her feelings? Do I keep making excuses and hope the friendship finally fades? Or is it time to have the uncomfortable conversation and admit we've simply outgrown each other? This is like unbelievable. Like this not unbelievable. This is where I love doing the U Up podcast and I love that. That women listen to this podcast because of how unrelatable this idea of friendship breakups are to men. And I think this probably works into the conversation about the male loneliness epidemic and the way friendships are with men and how we're not as close as women are with each other. But this is like the other side of it. Like, I was talking with Emily. Someone mentioned there was someone. I think it was Mary Beth Barone. I watched her special. It's a wonderful special. She's been on the J Train podcast. She had a joke about where she asks about someone and. And Mary Beth is very obviously doing comedy where she is courting girl talk. Like, there they thems, they's, them, they's and gays. The. The she, the whatever that group is. And I'm not trying to Be dismissive. I'm, I, I'm saying this, it makes sense to me. Some of the jokes. Emily and I were watching the special together and she had a bit about your former best friend. Your, the, the, the best friend you don't talk to anymore. I, I, I, I'm not getting the wording right, but she wor. And I was like, I have no relation to that. And Emily's like, ah, that's yeah, I totally understand that. And I was like, I couldn't believe how different we were when relating to this idea of a best friend you don't talk to anymore. Even if I had someone like that in my life, if someone went through my life and was like, well, that's the person they're talking about for you, I wouldn't even think of it that way. I would be like, oh, that's someone I haven't talked to in a while. While. That's my friend I haven't talked to in a while. Oh yeah, that I'm super close with them even though we haven't talked in a decade. So it is this email and she sends a screenshot. Here's, here's a screenshot. They send a picture. The emailer sends a picture of their baby, says not bad. And then the person writes back. The person they're done being friends with. Ah, do you drop off pickup? Hopefully she likes going. No answer to that. Then happy birthday. This person writes back, thanks girl, sorry my brain don't work no more. And they get a laugh reaction. This, this is the text they get. I need to plan coming to visit you guys. Would any weekends in August or September work were busy August 1 and 2nd and August 22 through 23, but otherwise pretty open, especially in September. This is the worst text anyone could ever receive from anyone. Not, not just. I don't care if that text comes from a good friend, a bad friend, a former friend. I don't want anyone coming with dates before I have agreed to a plan being made. This is a text that comes after, yes, let's plan a weekend there. This, there's no consent here. They're forcing themselves on you. They're probably, they're trying to close a deal here and no one wants to feel like they're being closed. That's the problem here. And very obviously you have friends and you don't need them. And this person does need you. This is a needy tax text. This is the text I send when I need to go on someone's podcast and I need to get my promo and promote My special, you know, this is, and again, I'm like, looking at this, cringing at myself. I, I think this is horrible. And it's like, what do you write back? I think what you write back is something vague. And you write back. And if, because I'm not going to break up with this person. Person. I, I think, you know, it's funny I'm saying this as I'm like, thinking of I, you know, because I'm trying to put myself out there to like, promote the special. And I've sent the text, hey, would love to come on your show. Let me know if you have some availability. And I've had people write back to me. We have production. J, we're jammed up in production. And I've thought on the other side, G, I just wish they would say, I don't want to have you on. But I'm like, that's an even harder text to send than the one I sent to go on their show. So it's tough. This isn't easy. I, I think writing back to them, hey, I, I love you guys. Even I love you guys, like, too much. I, I think writing back, hey, this the end of the summer and the early fall is incredibly busy on our end. I wish I could plan a weekend for us to get together, but it's just really not going to work this time around. I hope you can understand. That's the way I go. And it sucks because, you know, it's almost the problem here is with texting and you said that, oh, we used, we, we text on birthdays and with nostalgia pictures. The nostalgia pictures from your end probably have to stop when they send it. You probably, I don't know. But you don't have to be locked in. I just don't think, I think a friend breakup, like, I think that is always too much like, as I, in any breakup, I've always thought to myself, who am I, who am I to say to anyone, I don't want to hang with you anymore. I don't want to date you anymore. I don't want to, you know, have you and your kid over my house anymore. I, I don't have the confidence. I, I more would be like, like, let's let it fade. Because not all friendships have to end indefinitely. I, I, I just don't think, like, I don't live in a world where I want, like, any friendship to, like, be over forever. And I don't, you know, you might, the feedback to that might be, well, you're being selfish. You're saying well, when can I. What if I need them in the future, I guess. Wow. What if you need their companionship? What if you need someone that you have a relationship with that understands where you came from in your elementary school self and your college? You know, I don't know. I don't think it's as selfish as it can be made out to be, but this is a tough one. I, I would write back those. I'm sorry. This end of summer, early fall is just really jammed up. Can we try again another time? Can we try to get together when I and you said that you. When you go home, can we try to go. You know, I make sure to see her because I'm afraid she'll find out when I'm there. When I'm. Whenever I visit our hometown, I make sure to see because I'm afraid she'll find out when I was there and be hurt. Hey, I'm sorry. The end of the summer and the fall, really jammed up. Can we plan something when we come home for Thanksgiving? Let's you and I get lunch. And it would be really fun. And you know what? You're probably going to have fun at that lunch. And now you've said and. And you'll dread it. But you will have fun. You'll be happy you went. And now you've set an expectation. Lunch over Thanksgiving week when I'm back in our hometown. Done. Jtrain podcast gmail.com jtrain podcastmail.com Fantastic emails this week. Thank you guys so much for listening. If you're on Spotify, thank you for watching. I will respond to every Spotify comment. So if you have something to say about any of these emails, I will respond to you here on Spotify if you're watching. And we'll be back next week. Boom.