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The JTrain Podcast
How Do I Get this Guy to Make a Date? (screenshots included!) - MONDAY MAILBAG
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It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there? I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag Monday. Hello, and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Monday is Mail Bag Monday, where you, the listener, email me the comedian with your questions. And it can really be anything you'd like. Any lifestyle question, dating question, wedding question, friend question, anything. The purpose of this show is that me, a person who has no idea who you are, can't make eye contact with you, can pull you in, give you a hug, and then whisper some sweet truths into your ear. That's the show. If you want to be part of the show, all you got to do email jtrain podcast gmail.com. that's j train podcastmail.com. and we have video on Spotify now. So if you're part of our Spotify community, welcome to the show. Thank you. If you want to be part of the show, you email in. It's a daily show. We do it five days a week. If you sign up for the Patreon, and if you're new here, I want you to comment in the. On the Patreon app. Patreon app. I want you to comment. Let me know what you like, what you agree with, what you disagree with, what you didn't like, and I will respond to every comment on Spotify. That is my promise. Now that we're on that app and we're doing video. I taped this from my apartment in Delray Beach. Sometimes I'm on the road, especially with a daily show, it. It is hard to, like, be in the studio all the time or. But we're. We're figuring this out. I. I do want to hear from you on Spotify. I have three emails here from listeners. Again, J Train podcast gmail.com. i want to hear from you in the comments. That's a great way, because if you're wondering, like, how do I, you know, some podcasts, you can't get in touch with the. I just. I mean, right now, you're seeing I fix the camera. Like, this is a. You know, this is. This is me. This is me and V, the producer, putting this show on our back and trying our best. And I want to hear from you in the Spotify comments. And you can see I wear a new hat every day. And if you're new, you can see what hat I'm wearing. I'm. I'm trying to get you To Spotify. If you want to watch a podcast, listen. If you just want to listen, that's okay, too. I was told I do too much promotion. I'm gonna, we're gonna get right into it. And I, I just want to make sure the new listeners, if you're here, you know that this show, you can be a part of it. Send your questions. J train podcast gmail.com. we do three every week and I read them with you. I haven't read these. I don't read these ahead of time. I read them as you're hearing them. So this is a personal conversation. This is me and you. This is you sitting me, sitting with me in a booth and being like, J Train. This is this crazy thing that's happening. Help me out. And that's what this is. Jared, huge fan. Coffee with J Train. You a Patreon subscriber, Actually originally started listening to you from the Bachelor. Well, thank you. Anyways, I need some advice. I am engaged. Congratulations. And my wedding is in about four months. I am really worried that I'm going to be crying the whole time, like down the aisle during the vows, speeches, etc. I cry easily, especially in sentimental, emotional scenarios. I was the man of honor in my best friend's wedding a few months ago. I was trying really hard not to cry walking down the aisle and when standing up there, but I did not succeed. I never thought it was that big of a deal. Just a little embarrassing for me. And I assume no one else noticed, but yesterday she got her professional pictures back and I feel like I ruined some of them for her. The ones of me walking down the aisle with the best man look awful. I am sort of grimacing and frowning and you can see the tears on my cheeks and my eyes are really red. And then ones, and then ones of me beside her at the altar look similarly bad. I don't want to ruin my own wedding pictures and my makeup, etc. By crying the whole day, but I don't know what to do. Even thinking about walking down the aisle or the father daughter dance make me start tearing up. Please help an emotional batch who is just really happy. Well, let me first make you feel. I'm going to try and make you feel better because I can't tell you how not to cry. Like, I can give you ideas, but I'll say this to be vulnerable with you since you were vulnerable with me. I have this happen to me more than I could have thought. And I'm not a bride walking down the aisle. I have it Happen in other ways. If you came to the book tour, there was a part of the book tour where I was reading about the type of single that I was. If you go buy the book. Not to turn this into a promotion, but if you buy Walking Red Flag. There's a part about the type of single you are. And I read the type of single that I was when I was single, so. And that would always make me teary eyed. It was single afraid if I started reading it, it would bring me back to a moment and it would make me tear up and I would have to stop reading it. You are not in a position where you can stop having a wedding. As you saw with your friend. When you try not to cry, it actually makes it a little bit worse. So I guess my advice is to just cry. At some point the cry will turn to laugh. Now, does that mean planning with your makeup artist in a different way? Maybe that's it. Maybe your makeup artist is getting hired for a different type of job than the one they're normally hired for. You want the crying package. You want the touch up package. You want someone instead of holding your veil to be behind you with the blush and the touch the. The touch up kit waiting for you Once you're done crying, I would say swim with the current. Let's swim with the tears. Let's stream with the tears down your cheek. I think that's the answer. I have it happen to me at my standup shows again, not to turn this into a promotion. The special I have coming out on Netflix next month is very important to me. It is a story about going to the beach with my parents. When I talk about the special and I try to tell people on stage, if you've come to my standup show, there's a part where I say thank you for coming. And I inform people that I have a special coming out with material that's completely different from my live show that they just watched. And then I try to talk about how important the story is because it's about my family. It's about body issues, it's about my life. And it's about arguments I've had with my parents my whole life. And I really do believe Eve. It is talking about your life and your parents and your connection with your parents. And that makes me miss the eyed. It makes me emotional. I really care about it. I think it could be something that parents and their kids and millennials and boomers can share together. And when I talk about it on stage, I get to a point where I'm like, I have to stop. I have to pull away. Just. I just say just watch it. And I get a little bit emotional. So I know what you're going through as far as being on stage, which at your wedding, as the maid of honor, you're on stage feeling self conscious. What are people saying? What are people thinking? I will also say, let me go kind of in the wedding direction. Nothing in your email. Let me read your email back to you. These are words you wrote to me. I never thought it was that big a deal. Just a little embarrassing for me. And I assume no one else noticed, but yesterday she got her professional pictures back and I feel like I ruined some of them for her. She never said that to you. She didn't come up to you and go, hey, what the fuck? Look at your ugly face and all my pictures. I was expecting you to be hot and gorgeous. Now the pictures are ruined. I got some uggo crying it up and making stink faces all down the aisle. You look like you just ate a shit sandwich. Your friend never said that to you. You're saying that to yourself. I would actually argue most brides want people crying at their wedding. It is a act of being selfish. They want to walk around being like, everyone was touched by my story. Brides are cunts. Remember that. So think of the most selfish version of yourself. That's a lot of brides on their wedding day. So I know this is your best friend and you love them, but when you're crying and you got the shit sandwich face walking down the aisle, that bride is feeling themselves. Yeah, that's right. That's how much my fiance and I love each other. She was brought to ugly tears. That's right. And to. When you go to a wedding and the bride's crying a lot, a lot of people do this thing where they're like, oh, my God, she's crying. It's so. People talk about the bride in this weird way where they're trying to tell a very positive story about you. So I think if you're crying a lot at your wedding, it's going to be told in a way that's a little weird, actually. You ever notice when a bride wears sneakers under her dress, the way people react to that, it's weird. They're like, oh, my God, she wore sneakers. Did you see the sneakers? She had them specially made for the day. For this day. Yeah. Oh, my God. They say chill bride on the back of the sneakers. No one has ever done that before. Oh, my God, no one has Ever been that chill? People talk about the bride like they are Taylor Swift doing normal people things. So this is going to happen with you and your tears. You're going to have all these losers at your wedding, AKA your friends going, do you see how much she's crying? She's like so into this day. It is just so nice to see a bride let go and be into their day and be emotional and just live in the moment. They're going to tell that story for you. They're not going to be sitting in the bathroom going, do you see how ugly she looks when she cries? Yeah. It's fucking disgusting. Yeah. I can't even believe she cares this much about her fiance. No one even loves anyone that much. That's. That's crazy that she would cry like that. What, is she putting on a performance? What, is she trying to make us all look bad? She's trying to be the. The. The bride that cares more about her wedding than we would care about our wedding. What a fucking bitch. They're not going to be saying that. So to me, this is all positives except for the fact that you'll be crying, I think, fighting it. You've already seen what your face looks like when you fight the tears. You look like you smell the fart and you did it through a straw that you snorted up the fart. So we want to stay away from fart snort face and we want more. I think you'll be loving the pictures more when it's just you, beautiful, you crying face, not trying to hold it in. So let it go. Let's talk to the makeup artist and tell her I'm a crier. Let's get the crying package. Tell me you'll be happy you spent the extra. Whatever it costs. Maybe for her to have an assistant. Maybe for her to have a little power wheels she can follow you around the party in. Maybe for her to have someone hold a bag for her that has the extra makeup. So I think the investment of money and getting ahead of it, of, hey, I'm a crier. I'm gonna let these tears fly. Need you, my makeup artist, to really be on the ball that day. Give me the criers package. What can we do? Let's work this out together. So this email to me is about letting you know it's okay to cry. Everyone's gonna say nice things about you. Everyone's gonna paint it into a story of, oh, my God, she's so into this day. It's really nice. She can let go. Let's talk with the makeup artist. We have a plan. You are a crier. Don't do it like I care more. You're not going to. You're just going to say I cry. And let's just let it happen. Let's let the tears flow. Jtrain podcastmail.com Jtrain podcastmail.com if you're new here because of Spotify, we're hoping Spotify can put us on like a different algorithm. If you're not Share the Show we have two sponsors. There's three ways to support the show. Share the show, use the the the promo codes and the sponsors. And join the patreon patreon.com Jared Friedwear you get coffee with J Train every Friday. If you've got weight loss goals, it's time to actually hit them. Weight Loss by HIMS is designed to support you every step of the way. HIMSS offers access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and Wegovy pen. HIMS connects you with a licensed provider one with a care team to support you in losing weight and keeping it off. If prescribed, your medication is delivered to your door. No insurance necessary. HIMSS makes it simple to find GLP1 care that fits you and your wallet with a personalized treatment plan and unlimited dosage changes as needed. I am on a GLP1. I am on Wegovy. I use the pen. It has been a wonderful life change for me. I can't say enough good things about being on a GLP1. If you come to my live show, the whole hour is about GLP1. So I don't think you could be I don't think a sponsor could fit a podcast or comedian better. I'm telling you, if it's something you've thought about, just go call them and get have some questions answered. I would say what the GLB on the weight loss it says him's weight loss. Weight loss to me is secondary. It's having my life back. It's not thinking that every, you know, suite I have is going to lead to 20 more suites because that's really what's held me back in the past. It's the pressure on if I have a weekend of eating with my girlfriend and we go away, I have to go to the gym right away. It's not that's it is weird how much that's not on my mind considering how much it was before on a being on a GLP1. So that's my rec. I don't know if I can Give a more full recommendation. Ready to reach your goals? Visit hims.comjtrain to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you that's hs.com jt r a I n hims.com jtrain Weight loss by hims is not available in all 50 states. States Wovi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk as to get started and learn more, including important safety information, WOVI clinical study information and restrictions, visit hims.com so we have two sponsors. I'll go back to the emails. Right now we have two more emails. Jarrett Patreon, subscriber, longtime listener. I've learned a lot from you, so thank you for that. I, I, I appreciate that. We do have a text screenshot that I might have to make larger. I'm, I'm looking at, it's a little small for me to read in my elder age. Okay, we're getting it bigger. Listen, you're hearing how, how the donuts get made. Jared Friday I 47 female match with a guy, 45 male on an app. Okay, here we go. Stages set. Over the next few days, we texted quite a bit often texting for an hour or two at a time. Let me just say, as third party, don't know either of you, none of this matters to me. Texting for an hour, no date, that's nothing. So it's two people talking, we're chit chatting. So right now we're still at zero for me because sometimes when people write to you with their dating problems, they're trying to convince you. So I'm just telling you, not convinced. Conversation was great. That's fine. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. By Tuesday, I started to get a little turned off when I realized I was always the one initiating conversation. And then we had no plans to meet. There we go. Initiating conversation, no plans to me. On the level, like, what's more important? No plan to meet is why you keep having to initiate conversation. If you had a plan to meet, you wouldn't need to initiate any conversation because we're going to have all that conversation on the day. And this is like obvious again, but I like to break it down because when we're telling the story, you're telling me what's important to you. You wrote to me. These are words that are important to you. I decided not to text him at all. See, now you're playing a game against yourself. I, I already know if, if you would message me right then. Hey, send this text. Hey, this has been a really fun time. Talking. I'm Ready to go get a drink with you, make a plan. And I'm in. Tuesday and Thursday next week. Work on my end. That would be what my advice would be then. But we're already at game playing. I'm gonna see what happens when I don't text him. You see, you're gonna see yourself get upset because he's gonna text you at some point because he's gonna go back to the hookup. Well, where he's working on future business, your future business for him. At this point Wednesday, he still hadn't texted, so I decided I wanted to send him a let's meet or fuck off message. See, this is where you've gone wrong and let's meet her. Fuck off isn't the attitude of anyone that is confidently dating. Hey, you know, your time was important two weeks ago too, when you started texting with him. Your time was important when you met over the app and you said, hey, yeah, definitely take my number. And you thought a plan was happening. And then he didn't make one. So this whole, like, meter. Fuck off. You're teaching someone who isn't to be taught. They're not looking to learn. I started the conversation, but before I had a chance to give my ultimatum, he mentioned he'd be going out of town. I tried the J train patented line. Make a plan and I'm in. That's the one I just said, wanting to put the ball in his court, but then he put the ball back in my court. Screenshots attached of the convo. I'm a little turned off, but also still interested in meeting. Okay, let's read the conversation because she has A through D questions. I. I can understand still wanting to meet, but I'm like, okay, so here, here's him. Can't wait to go to Blank this weekend. What's in Blank? Working at Blank for a couple weeks. Wee. If you didn't get turned off at we, I, I don't know what will turn you off. Oh, okay, bye. I mean, I'm coming back. I'm not going to give. I mean. Well, here's the thing. You didn't do the J Train patented line. I'm. Okay, bye. You're still wanting. Here's the problem with my patented line. Hey, make a plan and I'm in. It does chop away what you want more than anything. It does take away. You got to make a little bit of a. What do they say all relationships are? Commiseration. No, I'm. I. This word always escapes me. Negotiation. I'm looking for A word. And I can't this all this word. It's like the most important word in relationships. I'm doing a podcast where I talk about relationships. All relationships. You need negotiation. You're going to lose something in the negotiation. Hey, make a plan and I'm in. Means you're going to lose a little bit of that magical story where he wanted you so bad that he made it a plan right away and then texted you, I'll be there at 8. It's going to be a little bit less than you wanted, but you're going to get what you want, which is I know that they can make a plan or not. So when you do. Okay, bye. To his. I'm going for a couple weeks to wherever land we. You're still waiting. You're still hoping. And hope ain't a plan. I mean, I'm coming back. I'm not giving up that work from home part Herc that that easily. So now he's not even saying, I'm not giving up you. You're saying, I'm okay, bye. Hope to see you sometime. And he's going, oh, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to give up work from home. I love working from home and not making plans to date you. Ha ha. Oh, now you're fake laughing. Yeah, I'm sure you find this hilarious. When are you shipping out and when are you coming back? So you're looking for hard evidence. You want answers so that you can catch the perk. I know what you're doing. I'm leaving Sunday and getting back on August 9th. Two weeks. Exactly. If you want to try and meet up for a drink before you leave, make a plan and I'm in. Otherwise, bon voyage. I can't, or I would have. I'll probably see. I can't or I would have. Too vague. This guy's seeing other people. He's going on a lot of other dates. He either. You know, on the spectrum of things. I always give you the spectrum. Your most miserable friend who doesn't want to talk to you anymore will say they're cheating on their wife. That is one of the possible answers. I think better of people. I think better of people. I think normal of people. It's abnormal to meet someone on an app because you're on a secret account that you're hiding from your wife. I know that's the story you hear the most online because it's the most salacious, but it's an abnormal story. The more normal story is he's dating A bunch of people. You don't fit in that plan. He's either on day 10 or 12 with someone else. And he's still on the apps and he's allowed to be on the apps. And you don't fit into the schedule of people he could be meeting before he goes. And he's going to wait until he comes back because he doesn't owe you anything because you've never met. That's the more normal answer. So she writes, I'll probably be married and going through a divorce by the time you get back, but hit me up. He writes, if you're already onto the loveless document and you are looking to step out on your hapless husband, hit me up. So he reversed your hit me up with a why don't you hit me up at that point? No, he doesn't. I, I, I, I. Listen, you say, I'm still a little turned off and I'm still interested in meeting. I think there's a point and you're going to give me all your questions. I think there's a point with texting someone. You don't know where your hope is for romantic and fun. And the longer it goes, it's like, I can't keep doing this dance. And then if you're still not turned off and you still think, because right now, to me, chances are low, this is going to be the love of your life. They are too distracted by their work, their other dates, whatever else is going on in their life. They are treating dating you specifically as a scratch ticket. They're treating you as a low stakes, low probability option. Do you want to feel that way? Of course you don't. But I do understand where you're looking at them in a different way. You're saying guy that I'm somewhat attracted to, that I've had a good conversation with, and he checks a few boxes. And I'm not really looking to go out with other people I've met on the apps. I haven't had a lot of fun interactions in the way he was able to have fun. Even though this isn't as fun anymore, which I totally get. So I do think you have to, like, put down the glow sticks. Turn. Hey, turn off the music. Dj. Yeah, we're done dancing here. I gotta get real. You got to have that moment. You got to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, yeah. Hey, stop the dancing. Hey, dancers. Dj, turn it off. And you got to go. Hey, man, I've tried to get a plan together with you. I've been fun Here. I do want to meet you for a drink because this whole text stuff just isn't really going anywhere for me. I can't really get further with someone that doesn't want to make a plan. I just asked you to make a plan with me basically and you got back to me with hit me up. I kind of want to be taken out. And if that doesn't work for you, it's totally fine. But I got to move on. So you have my number. I just. I've kind of really done all my tricks. Like I'm. See, the bag is empty because she writes a text him now to let him know that it would be a turn on for me if he took the initiative. Initiative about setting up a date when he returns. I. I think there's a. The version I just did. I don't think you have to. I don't. I wouldn't speak so poetically. B. Take the initiative myself to text him when he returns if I'm still interested. It sounds like you're always going to be interested. It sounds like you're. You're not really getting. If you're not turned off now, you're always going to be chasing this. And I don't think making a plan when he gets back is going to be. This guy's going to still be doing what he does. See? Move on. Because it looks like he's not interested. It's not about him not being interested. I don't know what he is. I know that you are not high on the list of priorities. D. Something else. My. My answer is A, but a little bit more D. And I think it's. Hey, man. I think. I think it's like level it. Hey, it's been really nice to get to know you over text for me. I need to meet someone in person to see if it's someone that I keep wanting to text. I tried putting the ball in your court to make a plan because that's how I get turned on when I meet someone off of a dating app. You kind of hit the ball back to me for me to hit you up. I'm just not going to do that. You have my number. If you make a plan again, as I said before, I'll reassess. But right now I'm not going to hit you up when you get back. It would really not be something I be into. That's it. You gotta let the caged bird fly. You gotta. You gotta go fly away. And again, not offended. We've never met because that's the thing from his end. He's going, oh well, we met on a nap. We're chit chatting. It doesn't matter. I chit chat with her like I chit chat with all these other people in my life. You gotta make yourself scarce because you coming back afterwards, this dog is gonna think that you'll give him a treat anytime. And again, you're going to be fun because you've been fun. So I think it's like I call this, I'm going to start calling this the shut off the music text. It's a very stern but totally fine, not angry. Here's where I'm at. And we've never met, so that's why it feels kind of crazy I'm even sending this, hey, we've never met. But the only way I'm going to keep texting with you is if we do meet. I've tried to be fun about it, but it really feels like you don't want to ask me on a date and that's turning me off. If you make a plan when you're back, I'm down and I'll reassess. Then that's what I would say. Jtrain podcast gmail.com jt Great emails. I really love that email because it's tough. I I. Cause you did everything you should do. You were fun, you were flirty. The date should happen. You're not crazy for wanting a date. Hero bread. Don't be one of those people who doesn't eat bread. Just try Hero bread. Hero bread is high in fiber, low net carbs with zero grams of sugar. 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That's fun. Just to change up your your shopping and get something new. I mean, lemon poppy scones. I love that. Herobred is offering 10% off your order. Go to Hero Co. Use code Feather at checkout. That's code Feather co. Okay, we got one more email. Great emails today. J Train. Longtime listener, first time writer. I'm an anesthesiologist who floats between a few different spots. Wonderful. Look at this. We got doctors here. One of them is usually my easy bread and butter location where I supervise CRNAs. I don't know a CRNA. I'm not familiar on routine cases. But you're okay. So you're just. You got a group that you supervise. It's supposed to be a relaxed site compared to the three more complex stuff compared to the more complex stuff I deal with elsewhere. Perfect for catching up on other work, online shopping, looking up my own stuff, or just listening to my own music and deep compressing a little bit. So you got a low stress job as part of your high stress other jobs. I get it. Enter Bob. Okay, always a Bob. Late 50s, early 60s, never married, no kids. Anesthesia tech restock guy at the site. Decent dude who's been through a lot. Cancer survivor. Seems pretty lonely. I feel for him, which is why I've been sucking, which is why I feel for him, which is why I've been sucking it up. But he has turned my one chill location into something I've acted. Oh, this is bad. Which is why I have been sucking it up. But he has turned my one chill location into something I actively dread on the days I'm there. He loves light hearted teasing that gets old fast. But the real issue is the non stop storytelling. He'll corner you and just go long and just. He'll corner you and just go long tails. Forcing you to watch random YouTube videos. Oh my God. Trying to teach you things you don't care about. Doesn't matter if you're clearly busy or just trying to have five minutes to yourself. I've had to keep. I've had him keep me for 45 minutes when I was on my out with when I was out when I was on my out with the full cancer story plus the Billboard church healing tale. Hey, Another time I mentioned liking Cynthia. Electro pop rock Beach House is my favorite band and he decided I needed an education. Making me sit through old synth band videos that weren't Even close to my tail. I mean, I, this is a problem. I don't know if I would even be able to help myself because it's only one of my sites. I've mostly just tolerated it. But it sucks because without him, this would genuinely be a nice break in my week. Now I find myself sneaking out or hoping for rescues from co workers who jump in pretending they need me for something. I feel bad that it's gotten to the point forever gotten that I feel bad that it's gotten to that point for everyone. How do I set a boundary without being a jerk to a lonely old older guy? Any good scripts or tactics for politely shutting it down so I can actually enjoy my one relaxed location? Thanks. The Reluctant hostage. This is a tough one. I, I, I think to like feedback wise his loneliness is not your problem. I know you, you know, it's like one of those things that like, you know, he's not asking for pity. He is asking for your time. And you're allowed to say, I don't want to give you my time. But you know, if we all like look through someone's life and decided whose life is one we'd want and whose life is one we wouldn't want, you know, it's not a fair thing to do and you're kind of doing that. He's made rationalizations. He has reasons for where he is on this planet right now. Those are not your responsibility. So that doesn't mean like every older man in their 50s, never married, no kids, who's a cancer survivor, doesn't deserve everyone's time. It doesn't need, doesn't mean that you have to like, you know, clear a path for them on your day. And that sounds cold and horrible, but reality is usually cold and horrible. You know, the reason things don't get solved online is because there has to be negotiation to get any problem solved. And negotiation sometimes means making a decision that might hurt other people, might be less than moral. You know, these are all, that's why I love a podcast. You can hear the hems and haws in a voice you can hear in this email. This person's not a bad person. They just want to, to be able to enjoy their work and not have to make time for someone with any bullshit story they come over with, whether it be the story of their survival or not. So let me just say to you, I feel for you. This fucking sucks. What would I do first? I would ask to have I. Well, the problem is I don't know how anesthesiology Works. I don't know what the surroundings are, the office or when you supervise, do you have to be in an open space? I would lock myself in my office and anytime and make it very difficult for them to like, get in my space. I would quite literally create a moat that this guy would have trouble getting over to come over and say, hey, check out this fun YouTube video. That's what I, that, that's what I would do. I would physically, I would ask for my space to be a space of my own. And not with him. If that's not possible, I think. Well, the problem is he keeps changing it up, you know. Oh, let me tell you about Electro Pop. Oh, my God. Let me show you this YouTube video. Like, you can't. I guess the, the thing you could do is like, hey, man, I have to be out of here by five, which means I need to get my work done. So I really appreciate that you come over here and want to discuss things with me, but I really need to get out by five because, you know, some of us have families, you know, I don't think you. That would be mean. I know. Hey, man, I know you got nothing going on at home except your Xbox and you're in your 50s and there's a cold slice of pizza waiting for you, but I got a family and loved ones. You wouldn't understand that. So I gotta be on my way, so don't bother me. You can't say that, but you can say, hey, man, I gotta be out of here by five. And I love chit chatting with you, but it's been really taking up a lot of my day. Whenever we like kind of go over these things. So I just hope you can understand. I gotta be out by five. I gotta be out by five. I think, like, reference. It doesn't matter that it's 9am I don't think it matters. What people understand is this is getting in the way. You coming in my office and discussing a YouTube video that I have no time for. I is getting in my way of getting home by five or leaving by five. I think that's the move. I have to leave by blank, whatever that time is. And I really enjoyed talking to you. But this gets in the way generally. I think that's like referencing the leave time that would be part of my conversation with him. I think also for someone like this, it sounds like he might not feel the tension in the room. He might not feel that your time is being wasted, which people do feel generally. Hey. Oh, it's buffering. Yeah. You don't want to see this. I'll get out of your way. If he's not seeing that, then I also think life is gravity. So if he doesn't see that, he's taking up a lot of your time. I also don't think he's personally offended by, hey, I got to get to my work. I think those two are married. I think this guy has been told that from time to time in his life, and it's why he's taking up your time until you'll tell him that your time is being wasted. So I think this is me giving you a pep talk to, like, be a little bit more of a jerk to this guy, which feels like a jerk to you, but doesn't feel like a jerk to him. I think the guy that doesn't notice that he's wasting your time also doesn't think that a person saying, hey, I got to get back to my work, is being a jerk. That's kind of my bet. That's my gamble on this. I do feel for you. This does suck. It starts with creating a moat, and then it moves on to, hey, man, I've got a lot to do today. I gotta get going. I know this video that you want to show me is probably really funny. Email it to me, send it to me. I'll let you know. I'll email you back with an lol. Gotcha, boy. Gotcha. Gotcha, buddy. I'll hit you back with an LOL one of these times. Jtrain, podcastmail.com Every Monday's a mailbag Monday. Tune in tomorrow, ticked off Tuesday with your complaints. Boom.