How to Turn a Breakup Into a Comedy Special with Eric Neumann - CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY - The JTrain Podcast w Jared Freid

Summary

The JTrain Podcast: How to Turn a Breakup Into a Comedy Special with Eric Neumann

Release Date: May 21, 2025
Host: Jared Freid
Guest: Eric Newman
Special Mention: Eric Newman's Comedy Special "Almost Engaged"

---

Introduction and Special Promotion

In this episode of The JTrain Podcast, host Jared Freid welcomes back comedian Eric Newman for a lively Chit Chat Wednesday session. Jared enthusiastically introduces Eric’s latest comedy special, "Almost Engaged", highlighting its humorous take on the complexities of engagement and its subsequent unraveling.

Jared Freid [00:00]: "Today's guest, he's been on the J Train podcast before. He's a fantastic comic, Eric Newman... His special is called Almost Engaged."

Personal Stories and Family Matters

Eric opens up about his current living situation, sharing a humorous yet heartfelt story about his brother's divorce. Due to his brother still paying rent to his ex-wife, Eric has taken him in, leading to amusing household dynamics, including a peculiar painting that Eric's brother insisted on displaying.

Eric Newman [03:19]: "I'm in a small one-bedroom apartment again."

Jared Freid [04:43]: "Your brother is going through a divorce... And then he says, put this painting on the wall."

Eric describes the painting as a constant reminder of his brother's failed engagement, adding a layer of comedy to an otherwise stressful situation.

Dating Life and Napkin Newman

Transitioning to lighter topics, Jared and Eric delve into Eric's unique approach to dating. Unlike many comedians who rely on dating apps, Eric prefers a nostalgic method of leaving napkin notes for women he finds interesting during his shows. This quirky tactic has earned him the nickname “Napkin Newman.”

Eric Newman [07:55]: "I just started seeing someone. It's only like a month... I've actually met her at the Cellar, and I do this thing now... they call me Napkin Newman over there now."

Jared and Eric exchange amusing anecdotes about the successes and failures of this method, including a particularly embarrassing first attempt that became a source of laughter among Eric’s friends.

Eric Newman [19:43]: "I wrote a napkin note... it was just so, so sad, bro."

Navigating Comedy and Personal Trauma

A significant portion of the conversation centers around how Eric transformed his personal heartbreak into comedic material. He discusses the delicate balance of being honest without crossing into vindictiveness, emphasizing respect for his ex despite the painful breakup.

Jared Freid [22:51]: "Did you have a ring?"

Eric Newman [23:03]: "I was almost engaged. Talk about... it was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced."

Eric explains his process of healing through comedy, highlighting how sharing his story on stage helped him reach a state of emotional recovery.

Eric Newman [29:18]: "It was time to get it out."

Favorite Jokes and Writing Process

Jared and Eric explore the intricacies of crafting comedy from real-life experiences. Eric shares insights into his favorite jokes from his special, particularly those detailing the logistics of his breakup and the challenges of reapplying for an apartment post-engagement.

Eric Newman [30:29]: "So she moved out... the premise of the joke is like... I made more money than breadwinner. Look what you lost."

They discuss the evolution of jokes and how comedians decide when a bit is polished enough to perform, balancing instinct with continuous refinement.

Eric Newman [31:21]: "I just kind of go off my instinct... I keep going. I don't try to dwell on it."

Conclusion and Final Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Jared urges listeners to watch Eric’s upcoming special, "Almost Engaged", available on YouTube and other platforms. He commends Eric’s ability to blend personal storytelling with humor, making the special a must-watch for anyone navigating the tumultuous waters of relationships and breakups.

Jared Freid [34:59]: "You see those couples that are doing well for, like, a bad reason... watch the special."

The hosts share mutual appreciation for each other's comedic talents, setting the stage for future engaging conversations on upcoming episodes.

Eric Newman [35:30]: "Thanks, JTrain. I appreciate it."

---

Key Takeaways:

• Turning Personal Pain into Comedy: Eric Newman demonstrates how personal experiences, even painful ones like a broken engagement, can be transformed into relatable and humorous content.

• Unique Dating Tactics: Eschewing traditional dating apps, Eric’s “Napkin Newman” approach adds a charming and creative twist to finding connections.

• Balancing Honesty and Humor: Both Jared and Eric emphasize the importance of being truthful in their comedy without delving into negativity, maintaining respect for personal relationships.

• Evolving Comedy Material: The discussion highlights the iterative nature of comedy writing, where jokes are continuously refined and developed based on audience reactions and personal growth.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Eric Newman [07:55]: "I've actually met her at the Cellar, and I do this thing now. Wait, Jared, I don't know if I told you this, so I'll occasionally, like, I'll drop off a napkin note if I see it on the crowd that I really like."

• Jared Freid [10:16]: "Nothing is more attractive... You want to get a guy a good laugh... You want to get a guy a good laugh, to me, is like, that is everything."

• Eric Newman [22:22]: "It was definitely the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced... the final product, I think I really did a good job of keeping it respectful."

---

This episode of The JTrain Podcast offers an insightful and humorous exploration of turning personal setbacks into comedic triumphs, showcasing Eric Newman’s resilience and creativity in the face of relationship challenges. Whether you're a fan of stand-up comedy or simply intrigued by the human experience, this episode provides a compelling listen full of laughs and heartfelt moments.

Transcript

[Jared Freed]

Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them, too. Chit Chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week, too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a ch Chat Wednesday too. Hello and welcome to the JTrade podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed and it is a Chit Chat Wednesday. Today's guest, he's been on the J Train podcast before. He's a fantastic comic, Eric Newman. He's got a special out. As always, the special link is in the description of this episode. It wasn't out when I. When we tape this, but I will tell you this. Eric is hilarious. I see him at the comedy seller all the time and it's about being engaged or being pre engaged. I think he was pre. He, he was going to be engaged. It's. It's called. His special is called Almost Engaged. So he wasn't engaged yet, but like ring in hand and we talk about, you know, the trials and tribulations of going through that, the emotional, you know, roller coaster. So check out the special, but especially check out this chit chat with Eric and I. He's fantastic. You're going to love this episode. Boom. Hello and welcome to the J Train podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from the West Village of Manhattan. That's right, every Wednesday is a chitchat Wednesday where I have a guest on who is a friend, a comedian, an expert. Today I have three of those things. I have a friend, a comedian, hilarious comedian and an expert in almost being married because they have a special coming out all about getting engaged and breaking off the engagement. It is called I'm not speaking out of turn because it's called Almost Engaged. That is the name of the special. I think it's going to be out right now when this comes out. Eric Newman, thank you for coming on the show.

[Eric Newman]

Day Train. What a pleasure, man.

[Jared Freed]

How are you? I thought I would have gotten more of a reaction out of you when I referenced that you were an expert and almost being. It's almost engaged. So you weren't even engaged. You were almost engaged.

[Eric Newman]

I was almost engaged. We were very close.

[Jared Freed]

And the specials out. Where is it? What's going on? It's on YouTube.

[Eric Newman]

It's on YouTube. Yeah. So I did. I'll take. Well, let me just backtrack for a second here. So last time I did. Last time I chit chatted with you I believe I was doing it from my almost fiance's aunt's Hamptons house. And now we are promoting a special about how it didn't work out. So it's nice. Full circle story, I think here, Jerry.

[Jared Freed]

And you're not in the Hamptons anymore. The, from the, from the penthouse to the outhouse, as they say.

[Eric Newman]

I'm not now. I'm in a small one bedroom apartment again.

[Jared Freed]

Oh, this is the story that they tell you to tell you to. They warn you about. They say don't no get married, get a house, be. Go to the Hamptons. Now you're, there's like, I'm looking at your, you know, your surroundings. There's a blanket astray. There's a painting on the wall. Doesn't even look like it's yours. This is, is this a sad tale?

[Eric Newman]

Sad old blanket that needs to be replaced.

[Jared Freed]

A weird painting. Whose paint, what painting is that behind you?

[Eric Newman]

Well, I'll tell you to make it even sadder, since we're on that theme. My brother is going through a divorce and he's still paying rent for another year to his soon to be ex wife. So I took him in. He's living in my living room right now. So this is his stupid idea. This dumb, this dumb painting?

[Jared Freed]

Your brother. We're finding out why he's getting a divorce. Your brother is going through a divorce, and then he's sleeping on your couch and then he says, put this painting on the wall.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah, I guess, I guess, dude. I guess.

[Jared Freed]

How does that even happen? How does that conversation happen? I don't understand. He, I, he, I, he comes with a painting under his arm and like a backpack. And then he's like, make sure the, like, the idea that you would put this up is crazy.

[Eric Newman]

I know it's nuts, but I'm like, all right, whatever. I think he wants to like, make an illusion of the fact that he kind of has his own space in my space. So like, if he brings a girl back one night, he's like, oh, this is my bed and my painting. I don't fucking know what.

[Jared Freed]

So you're on the couch right now that he sleeps on near the blanket that he covers himself at night and he wipes his tears from his eyes from the divorce. And below the painting that he had, he's, I'm taking the painting. Like, I, I don't even think I would take the painting. I go, you take it. I don't need it. I mean, it's a weird painting. I'm only seeing a quarter of it, it's weird.

[Eric Newman]

Here, I'll. Let me. There you go. That's the whole thing.

[Jared Freed]

If you're watching on YouTube, you can see the painting.

[Eric Newman]

Where, where is this? I think it's got, it's probably a Malfi coast or something.

[Jared Freed]

It looks like where they got engaged. I mean, to me that's like a therapist might say, hey, maybe you should get rid of that painting. It's bringing up a lot of bad memories.

[Eric Newman]

It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. I don't know what he's doing here. Yeah, he's just gonna like, he's gonna like, draw him and his ex.

[Jared Freed]

Wife.

[Eric Newman]

Wife in some. In the.

[Jared Freed]

Well, there's a guy on Tik Tok that draws in Simpsons characters into paintings like that.

[Eric Newman]

Oh, I've seen that guy.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Hold on. So is there a curse on the family? What's going on?

[Eric Newman]

I don't know, man. I don't know. I, you know, I mess with my mom all the time because my brother's also in entertainment. So, like, I'll like, mess with my mom. I'll be like, well, Mom, I know that. I know that, you know, our careers make you really worried, but at least our romantic lives are, are in good shape. And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right? But I don't know, man. So I, you know, he, his, the difference is his situation was really set up to fail. Like, he, dude, he got his. I'm talking about it now on stage finally. But he.

[Jared Freed]

You're talking about his relationship on stage.

[Eric Newman]

I'm talking about his relationship on stage because they're getting divorced now. So I don't really, I don't care about like upholding a relationship with her anyway. So it's whatever. But, but basically he like, met his. She was from Peru and so he met her in Peru and then like flew her over here and they got married here and marriage lasted like two years or whatever. But, and it's. I, I, I don't like to poke blame on either one, like, specifically. I mean, like, they both did really shitty things, but, like, you know, whatever. Anyway, he bought her a 1200 ring in Macy's. So right there I was already like, all right, I don't have that much faith.

[Jared Freed]

So there wasn't a lot of investment in it. I mean, when you have two years and a twelve hundred dollar ring, you know, undoing that, you just got to take your painting and leave. You know, it's like, no, but there's.

[Eric Newman]

A kid.

[Jared Freed]

This is a very different story. The way you painted it is not how it's. That's a different tale.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah. So she. She lays on this. This is her partially her blanket also.

[Jared Freed]

Stop it. Stop it. Come on. I have an audience that likes to be happy from this show. What are you doing?

[Eric Newman]

Sorry. I'm sorry.

[Jared Freed]

So the kid is on your couch.

[Eric Newman]

Two days a week? Two days a week.

[Jared Freed]

Hey, what's going on? We gotta send child services. What's going on?

[Eric Newman]

I know, dude, but you know what, though, man? Like, I'm. I'm happy for him because it was just like a really bad situation, but, you know, whatever. He'll be here for a year and then. And then they'll figure it out. But he's still paying rent over there, so I. I want to, you know, make it easy on him in one way. I got you.

[Jared Freed]

So hold on. So your special, it's called Almost Engaged.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

The link to the special is going to be in the bio of this episode on YouTube as well as anywhere you listen to the show. What is the. You know, how do you go about talking about it? Well, first of all, let's start with. Are you dating now?

[Eric Newman]

I just started seeing someone. It's only like a month, you know, I want to see where it goes. She's great. I've actually met her at the Cellar, and I do this thing now. Wait, Jared, I don't know if I told you this, so I'll occasionally, like, I'll. I'll drop off a napkin note if I see it on the crowd that I really like. I'm not. They call me Napkin Newman over there now.

[Jared Freed]

Really? I had no.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Napkin Newman.

[Eric Newman]

God. I'm actually really regretting telling you this because one on one, I forget, like, we're one on one right now, and it feels like it's very confidential. But then I'm sure you around Liz, like, tomorrow, and I know it's going to be a big thing.

[Jared Freed]

Napkin Newman has such a ring to it. How could I forget? It's like a. It's a branding. It's a. You know, this is. This is good marketing for you. So what do you. How many times have you left a napkin for one? I have never done anything like this. So I, I.

[Eric Newman]

You have more integrity than me, Jared.

[Jared Freed]

I don't know if it's a not integrity move. I guess my thing with the napkin thing, I've been given the napkin after a show, which is always very nice. And some people do the napkin betters than others, and so what do you do? You see someone in the crowd? First of all, you're at work, dude. Like, what's going on?

[Eric Newman]

Whatever.

[Jared Freed]

Okay. Whatever. And so now I'm seeing how the whole family operates. Whatever. We'll fly her in from Peru. Love the kids. Sleep on the ottoman. Whatever. I'll work on my bits tomorrow. I'll. I'm gonna be. I'm handing out notes tonight. It's Napkin Newman.

[Eric Newman]

It's a carefree, carefree world we're living in, Jared. But.

[Jared Freed]

So.

[Eric Newman]

No, so, so. But honestly. So I'm. I don't go on dating apps. I've never been on dating apps. I'm, like, pretty vocal about that. I just like meeting people in the wild. That's my whole thing. So if I see a girl and I think she's, like, really pretty, and she's laughing a lot, that's a big factor for me.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[Eric Newman]

Because you know how it is, right? You ever see, like, a table of girls and they're just not laughing and you're like, fuck these people.

[Jared Freed]

Nothing is more attractive. I think it is one thing that, like, women, they know this, and they'll make fun of it. You'll see the tiktoks, like, fake laughing at a guy. Keep fake laughing. You want. You want to get a guy a good laugh, to me, is like, that. That is.

[Eric Newman]

It's everything.

[Jared Freed]

It's everything. When someone has a loud, good laugh, it does. And it's. It's got to be somewhat genuine. You can tell when someone's just laughing at anything.

[Eric Newman]

But you.

[Jared Freed]

You feel it in your soul. It fills your cup, so to speak. It is actually satiating. Yeah.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah. And then, like, so, like, at the Cellar, I'll host mostly. I do spots sometimes, but I'll mostly host. Right? So I'll host, and then I'll just, like, sit back. I'm like, okay, my job is more or less done for the night. Right.

[Jared Freed]

Well, also, as the host, if I'm thinking of, you know, Napkin Newman's, you know, game plan.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

You know, when you host, as I've hosted myself, you get a lay of the room. Your whole job is to, like, keep this thing together. You're holding all the strings. That's keep. You're. You're. You're holding the seams together of the room. So you have to know the right side's pretty good. The left side's okay. There's a table over there that's a little talkative. So you're. You're the maestro. So it is. It makes Sense that you would, like, see a table. Okay, the good laughing young women table. Okay. Where are you guys from? And your job is to like, kind of get the crowd going and talk to them. Oh, we're from out of town. So then you start to get their story, who's single in the room. And you see, they all cheer. You go, okay, I know their deal. Like, there's a fact finding mission as a host that you're doing anyways.

[Eric Newman]

Right? Exactly. So it kind of like leads me like, naturally into that anyway. But then like, I'll. And then I'll like, you know, because there's one experience being on stage and then there's an experience sort of watching everybody else on stage, right? So like, if I bring you up and then I like watch that same group, like, I look at this one girl and I'm like, oh, she's so pretty. She's got great energy. Then I watch her cracking up at watching you on stage. I'm like, okay, she's. She's awesome. Like, right? She's cool.

[Jared Freed]

She gets it. Well, that, that's the fun of bringing someone to a comedy show on a date. It's like, it's not a good first date. It's a great fifth date.

[Eric Newman]

100, dude, first date. I don't understand, like, I'm so attracted to, like, troublesome situations that like, like chaotic, you know, like chaos that like, I'm. I'm gonna go in deep on a first date couple in the front row. But I don't understand it from their perspective at all why they thought it was going to be a good idea. Dude, that's. That's crazy.

[Jared Freed]

No, it is a little crazy. It's a little like it to me. It's like, it's thoughtless, you know, like, did you really want to get to know each other? Like, did you again, it's like we say this on the UL podcast a lot. It's like, are you showing or are you telling? Like, yeah, you know, that's like, that is a little bit like telling someone you like. Comedy is bringing them to the first date comedy show. Showing them is like having a conversation on the date, getting to know them and, and then finding out who they're into. And then, oh, there's actually a, you know, date for. I got us tickets because you mentioned, you know, you're showing them that you took an interest, not just telling them. This is something I am interested in, you know?

[Eric Newman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask you about this. I think I meant to ask you about this. Anyway, the other night. Do you think you have a pretty good read on when a date. On. When a couple. I know it's probably a little like, do you think you have a. Generally a good read on. Not like necessarily a first date, but if a couple is in good shape when you're on stage.

[Jared Freed]

When you're on stage, you can kind of tell there's sometimes where it feels like they got in a fight in the car.

[Eric Newman]

Yes.

[Jared Freed]

And you'll say hi to them and where are you guys from and how. How long you been together? I can feel it, especially in the way the guy says they're together. Like, if he's, like, being weird about saying how long they've been together. Like, you can. I get it. You get it wrong. You don't remember, when did we start dating? When do we not. You can always tell when a couple's, like, comfy, cozy together or when this is. It's. Something's gone off track.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah, yeah. No, I wanted to. I wanted to pick your brain about that because I think I have a pretty good read of whether. And again, you know, it's always skewed. Right. Whether they get into a fight a little, you know, earlier in the day, whatever. So it's definitely not like, you know. You know, it's not obviously 100 accurate, but I think I do have, like, a pretty good read on.

[Jared Freed]

On when a couple's having fun together. When they're laughing and, like, you start talking to them and they're, like, having fun with that interaction. I tend to believe that, like, the couple's great. Like, yeah, like, oh, they must really like each other. They must be really comfortable because they can let me, you know, be the. The jokester and ask questions. And it's like when they start lying and telling things and you go, the. There's something off about them or they're delusional together. I think that's, like, part of the reason people get in relationships is, like, it's someone else who, like, lets their delusion run rampant.

[Eric Newman]

Yes.

[Jared Freed]

So they both can live in this fake world where everyone else is the problem except us.

[Eric Newman]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

You see those couples that are doing well for, like, a bad reason.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah, 100%. And you're right, dude. That is it. When they let you dictate the fun, that means that they're really comfortable enough with one another that they don't really have much to lose.

[Jared Freed]

Right. There's nothing to lose. You know, they're like, oh, like, I'm not gonna, like, Be. They're not having this. To find out about me in this conversation. They already know me. I'm comfortable that they know me. I don't. This comedian's not gonna ruin.

[Eric Newman]

Ruin everything. Yeah, exactly.

[Jared Freed]

That I've been putting on, you know, because when you mad. When you've kind of ruined the narrative that they've built, like, oh, so what do you do? And they're like, well, I work in, you know, finance. What kind of finance? They're like, I'm a bank teller. You're like, really? And then the girlfriend's like, really? Like, you can see things have gone off track for them. You've ruined the story.

[Eric Newman]

Right, Exactly. Well, I always say, like, if I ruin a relationship, I didn't ruin the relationship.

[Jared Freed]

No, it was to be ruined.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

So, okay, so you were.

[Eric Newman]

I did ruin my relationship, though. I will.

[Jared Freed]

Before we get to your ruined relationship.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

So you meet. So the person you've been dating, like, a month.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

They're in the crowd. You assess, they're cool, they're laughing. What do you write on the napkin?

[Eric Newman]

Well, this one I actually met actually going to the bathroom at the Cellar, but I just said, like, are you single? And she was. And we started dating.

[Jared Freed]

But generally, you're going to the bathroom. You're going to the bathroom. Or she is.

[Eric Newman]

She. She was going to the bathroom I was hosting at the Village Underground.

[Jared Freed]

Okay, so she might have been on that show.

[Eric Newman]

Dude, I think you might have closed that show, actually.

[Jared Freed]

Really? And she's walking by, like, the table in the back, and you go, hey, where are you going? Are you single?

[Eric Newman]

I saw her online coming into the View. I just, like, noticed her. I was like, this girl's so pretty. And then I just happened to see her going to the bathroom. She's, like, passing right by me, and I was like, oh, fuck. And, like, something just makes me go for it. Like, I just have that thing where I have to go. I got to go for it. So I was like, hey, are you single? And she was. And we've been talking for a month, and I really like her, and it's what happens.

[Jared Freed]

There we go. So what are you writing on these napkins, though?

[Eric Newman]

I've written.

[Jared Freed]

I check yes if you like me. Check no check yes if you think I'm funny and would blow me, turn.

[Eric Newman]

This into a paper airplane. Napkin. Airplane. And fly it back to me. I think I usually just go, like, hey, I think you're really pretty. You have a great laugh. Like, if you're single, text me. Or if There was something that happened in the front. If there was something that happened in the show that I think would be cute to write on the napkin to like, make it even more, like inside jokey or whatever. I'll do that.

[Jared Freed]

Are you giving your number?

[Eric Newman]

I will give my number when I do the napkin ode.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah. So it's. Hey, that dude in the front really sucks, huh? Like, you, like, throw someone under the bus. Here's my number. If you're down to get a drink. Is that the move?

[Eric Newman]

Yeah. Yeah. If you're. If you're single, text me. I'll usually, I'll tell you what happened. One time, dude, there was. I was talking to this couple in the front, and it was just one of those, like, we were talking about where you could just tell it was a bad vibe. You could just tell by body language. They're not even close to touching each other. Like, it's like, you know. And then actually on her way back from the bathroom, she came up to me and she was like, you're right. Like, I said something about how the date wasn't going well.

[Jared Freed]

Broke up a couple.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah. And she's like, yeah, this is our second date. Not going out again. And then her and I actually ended up going out. We went out once. It was. And didn't work out. But that happens sometimes also. But yeah, with the napkin notes, I generally just do say something real, like just very brief and then. Well, actually, dude, I don't know if you know this story. The first time I ever did it was during COVID Remember we were performing behind glass at Olive Tree. Yeah. And. And I had just got out of an eight year relationship. And I don't think you ever met my ex. Ex. I call her my ex once removed. That's my. That's my. But I got out of an 80 relationship and it was the first time I was like, trying to, like, talk to or like, hit on a girl, like, since my breakup. So I wrote a napkin note, then I went to go to New York. Sorry, I, like, messed up the napkin note. I wrote another one. I gave it to her. Then I went to New York comedy club, to that rooftop. Remember we were performing on that rooftop in New York on like 5th Avenue on 23rd or whatever. And then I came back to the Cellar again and everybody was laughing at me at the table. And I was like, why are you guys laughing? And Liz found the first draft that I left behind and like screenshotted it and send it to everybody. And yeah, it was just so, so sad, bro.

[Jared Freed]

So the first draft was like, hey, I think you're awesome. And, like, awesome spelled wrong. Like, it's like, this sucks and you cross it out. Oh, you're pretty cool. I mean, whatever. Here's my number. If you think I'm cool, check this box. Ah, never mind. And you didn't throw it away. Like, I would, like, burn that thing. I wouldn't let anyone see it.

[Eric Newman]

Oh, dude, it was so embarrassing. Dude, she still has it. Liz will bring it up to me. Like, every so often, she'll be like, I gotta find that notes.

[Jared Freed]

So we are sponsored hero bread. Eating bread shouldn't mean throwing in the towel and having a cheat day. Finally, there's bread that can be good for you and taste amazing. That's hero bread. And I can attest to it. It's delicious. It's great. I love it on a sandwich. I love it in the morning as toast with my eggs and turkey bacon or chicken Sa in the zone dialed in. Herobred is something that makes me feel comfy, cozy, and it's made with great stuff. It's got fluffy texture, and you never really know. I can attest to that. And it's got low, low net carbs, high fiber, and zero grams of sugar. It tastes just like the regular stuff. So if you had the choice between bread and highly efficient bread, that's gonna make you fuller, longer, you're gonna take the efficient bread. That's hero bread. I have it. It's in my freezer. I make it with breakfast. It's great. I've made sandwiches with it. It's just. I can't tell you. I hate to say there's no difference because that makes it sound like it's like this, like, different thing. It's bread. It's great, and it's better for you. Check out Herobred's newest drops. They're doing drops like they're Missy Elliott here. They have classic plain bagel with 4 net carbs, 0 grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein. So protein goals and. And the everything bagel with 5 net carbs and 17 grams of protein. So it's time you finally enjoyed your diet. Herobred is offering 10% off your order. Go to Hero. Co use code J train at checkout. That's J train at H E R O CEO. The almost engagement. You're talking about it. I mean, like, are you afraid? You know, are you afraid? Like, to me, like, I've gone through breakups and, like, I'm not looking to talk about someone on stage. Like, I don't want it. Like, I. It's very difficult for me to, like, be. Not that I can't be personal about myself, but I would think in an almost engagement, you have someone else kind of, like, their feelings on the line too, right?

[Eric Newman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's. That's interesting. So my whole thing was I wanted to. So I, you know, it was definitely the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced. It took me really. I mean, you know, we talked about it a bunch of times, right? Like, you know, I would see you and. And I would say, you know, I told you about it and all that stuff, and you happen to sort of know the person, so. But did you have. What.

[Jared Freed]

Did you have a ring?

[Eric Newman]

I had. The ring was at the jeweler I had.

[Jared Freed]

So the ring was chosen.

[Eric Newman]

Ring was chosen.

[Jared Freed]

And then how. What's the entry point for talking about it on stage? You just say, I was almost engaged.

[Eric Newman]

Yes. Talk about. So. So I really tried to. Like you said, you know, it's like, even, you know, I'm the type of person where it's like, even though we ended really badly and we don't have any contact, I still, you know, to some large degree, want to respect her. And, like, not. Of course not, be like, I don't. Like, there's so obviously, like, you know, you're in a relationship with someone and you find out so much personal information about them and their history and their trauma and whatever, and there's so many things that if I was a shittier person, I could just go in on and talk about. I didn't want to do that, even.

[Jared Freed]

Say, well, even saying this right now, like, is more personal than I would be. I don't know.

[Eric Newman]

I.

[Jared Freed]

Like.

[Eric Newman]

Yeah, I. I'm very. I'm very, like, upfront about things, I think, sometimes to a fault. But, like, I. You know, my whole thing was. Look, I. I wanted to. I wanted to talk about it, like. And I was angry, dude. I was, like, really angry and sad during the breakup and. And just felt like it was handled really poorly on her end and. Right. And whatever. Probably again, more than you would talk about. But I made a conscious effort to. As I was writing, there was a lot of stuff I wrote that kind of came off as more like shitty or vindictive or whatever, and I kind of scrapped all that. And so in the final product, I think I really did a good job of keeping it respectful. Look, if she watched all of it, do I think there'll be moments that she'll probably get Pissed off about. Yeah, sure. But, like.

[Jared Freed]

Well, there's heartbreaking, right? There's three sides to every story. There's your side, their side, and the truth that somewhere in between, you know? And it's also, like, from your perspective, when you tell people that you're dating now, like, I was almost engaged. What's the response? Because, you know, I think for, like, I think a lot of, you know, women will judge a guy, like, whether they've been close to an engagement, have they lived with it? Will they commit? What made them not commit? Like, did you notice that people were like, did you get a response that was, like, weird from that? Or did you get.

[Eric Newman]

Dude, I love that question. Because. So I'm. I think I'm. I don't know. I'm very, like, a what you see is what you get kind of person. So I. I went into first dates a lot. I mean, look, I. I always say. I'm, like. I felt. I felt bad for anybody that I dated the first year of my breakup because they really didn't have a shot, dude. Like, I was just, like, still, it took me. It actually took me. It's been almost two years since we broke up. I would say, like, four months ago was the moment I woke up and I said to my therapist, I was like, I'm over it. Yeah. And. And that was. And that was like. And there were moments in that first year and a half where I really was convinced I was. I was like. I would. Like, when I said it to someone, oh, I'm over it. Like, I actually believed it, and then something would happen or I find something out, and then I'd be hurt by it. So I'd be like, okay, I'm Right now I am. But. But, yeah, I was the people I would date and I was dating, you know, I was dating first three, four months, I didn't hook up with anyone. I really actually found out I was, like, healthy. I thought I was always, like, a pretty unhealthy person, but going through that breakup taught me I was healthier than I thought because I was, like, performing every night, like, taking long walks, exercising. I, like, joined yoga. I read a lot. I wasn't, like. I wasn't, like, getting weight.

[Jared Freed]

What brought you to yoga? Well, I was almost engaged. Yeah, that's like. Yeah. So I figured I'd stretch.

[Eric Newman]

Dude, that's so funny. It's trauma.

[Jared Freed]

It's just a weird reason to do yoga. Like, it is.

[Eric Newman]

It's so weird. Dude, I love you. By the way, speaking of couples, last night I was talking to this couple in the front row, like, dating a year, and I'm like, what do you do? And she's like, I'm a yoga instructor. I'm like, I literally love yoga. Like, I love you. Yeah, I'm getting into it. And I'm like, does he go? And she's like, he went once. He sucks. And I'm like, I don't like the. I. I just.

[Jared Freed]

He sucks. I. I'd be like, yeah, like, he doesn't do it. Why would he be any good?

[Eric Newman]

Yeah. I don't know. I just didn't like the vibe, but. But, yeah. So I. So I didn't hook up with anybody for three, four months, and then I started dating people and kind of. And I would talk about her a lot, and. And I'm very, like, I'm, like, living something. I'm like, I'm a very. It's so hard for me to go back and do, like, really old material because I'm so emotionally tied to what I'm currently performing and writing that once I'm over it, like, I. I don't want it. Like, the material that I'm putting out on the special, I don't want to do anymore because I'm like, right.

[Jared Freed]

Well, there's two things. It's. I'm. It takes me a while to, like, put everything into perspective. Like, the stuff I'm talking about right now happened three years ago, four years ago. So, like, I needed to, like, have some time away from it to be able to, like. And I'm still working through thoughts on it, but, like, I do understand this idea of, like, you know, you went through this thing, you start talking about it, and then it's like, the more you talk about, the more you're, like, scratching at the wound. And it's like, I just need to get these jokes out of me. I felt that way with COVID stuff. I was like, just get the COVID stuff out of me and put it somewhere so that I could kind of move on from. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

[Eric Newman]

By the way, your stuff that I've been. Because I've been watching you so often lately. Dude. Dude, you're set that you're focusing on, like, going to Europe alone? I don't know if. That I'm not gonna give you, but. But. But just all that stuff, like, going to the restaurant and all that, dude, like, so funny, bro.

[Jared Freed]

Thank you, man.

[Eric Newman]

You're just building it. And it's like, I get excited when I see, like, Just from like a strictly like writing comedic standpoint. Just like watching a buddy, like add tags and you're like, oh, that tag wasn't there on Thursday, but now it is and it's killing. And like, yeah, but, but thanks man. But anyway, but right, that's the whole thing, dude. It's like, like, it's like you, you, if you're in touch with your emotions enough, you're writing from a really honest place. And whatever that process is for you, is that process for you. So for me, it's like I'm going through like, while I was hurting and trying to heal as best as possible, I was writing through it. And then, and then by the time I recorded it, I was like maybe 75, healed from the right, you know, trauma.

[Jared Freed]

It was time to get it out there.

[Eric Newman]

It was time to get it out. And I need.

[Jared Freed]

What's your favorite joke on the special premise?

[Eric Newman]

God. So, well, here's the thing I want to say before that.

[Jared Freed]

Okay.

[Eric Newman]

The first, it's about 40 minutes, I'd say. And maybe, maybe a minute under or over we're about, you know, but the first 20 is kind of regular material. The last 20 is about the breakup. But favorite Joe premise. Well, the, the thing that really like, you know, she, I mean I'm gonna talk about, you know, you're gonna see this anyway. But, but she, she moved out in. From the time we broke up to the time she moved all her furniture out was, was like five days. Like it happened really, really quickly. So I, I wrote. So the premise of the joke is like, I mean, you know, this is a stand up. Like our, our. What we, what we claim is, is often like very wonky. Right. Because we, we, we have a lot of expenses as comics and there's travel and there's whatever.

[Jared Freed]

Right, Right.

[Eric Newman]

So I wasn't showing actually enough money stuff, tax stuff. Right. So she had a full time job that she showed a good income. And I don't. Right. Even though I made more money than her. And so when she moved out, just so everyone knows. Yeah, just everyone knows, I made more money than breadwinner. Look what you lost. But, but when I was trying to reapply for the apartment, it was a nightmare, dude, because I, they like didn't almost didn't want me to stay. Like, it was like. So I wrote a lot about that. How just like, you know, right.

[Jared Freed]

You could have been your brother sleeping on some couch, you know, at the door with your painting.

[Eric Newman]

Weird ass painting.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah man, I. So okay, what's a joke that you wish you had more time to work on. This is always a. This is my favorite question asked.

[Eric Newman]

That's a great question, dude. You know what? It's like. And. And. And I want to actually, I want to ping this back at you after I answer it, but, like. Because I'm curious to hear your thoughts anyway. Like, it's so hard to tell in general when the exact right time is to put a joke out. Right, right. You're like, okay, could I spend another year workshopping this? Going around the country trying it out with different tags, whatever. Yeah. I just kind of go off my instinct if I'm like, okay, like, could I probably have another tag or two to this? Yeah. But I kind of just feel done with this and I want to move on to another joke. So I don't know. But I guess if I had one more year, I probably would have just, like. I'm sure I would have, like, developed the bits a little bit more. Fine tune stuff a little bit better.

[Jared Freed]

I mean, I have. I have a bit on the Tonight show that I did about my mom ordering coffee, and I'm like, man, that wasn't ready at all. But it was, like, the one they liked. So I was like, I go and did it, and I'll never forget my mom was like, you shouldn't do the coffee joke. I'm like, it's. We're doing this in 10 minutes. Like, are you out of your mind? Like, and. And now I still tell the story. Like, there's another part of the story that I like, you know, may have been. You know, that's the thing with, like, bits that, like, are, like, kind of there enough to get a laugh that you kind of lean on because you're like, I need to fill the time and work on it a little. And then when you get one to the place that you're like, this one's done. You're like, you look at that other one, you're like, I could have done more with that. You know, it's like I. Right. I had this whole thing about my mom. She. The whole thing is she. They wouldn't let her take cups from Dunkin Donuts. They kept, like, being like, no cups. And I was like, what happened? Like, and she had, like, gotten an argument with them because she was stealing so many cups that they started charging people for cups at Dunkin Donuts, at, like, the local Dunkin Donuts. And I'm like, this is so crazy. No one would believe it. Like, it's set on the wall 10 cents a cup. And I. And then they're yelling at her, don't. Cups. You're done. You're done. And I'm like, what happened here? It was like showing up to. And I'm like, I like look back on that joke and I'm like, it was tonight show, you know, Like I. Who even saw, you know, like I. You want to bring it back, you know, Like I.

[Eric Newman]

Well, that's the thing that's so funny, dude. Just her putting. Putting the coffee shop in somewhat of a cup deficit is just so funny.

[Jared Freed]

Right?

[Eric Newman]

But, but, but you're still. Dude. But the other thing I realized though, now more than ever, I think, like back in the day with stand up, you like put out a special and like, that's the bit and it's cemented and this is what it is not gonna evolve and whatever. And I actually think we're in a place now where it's like more forgiving. Like, you can put up like, you could put up a premise right online, like like a face to camera or something, right? That's like just kind of a premise that has some funny lines in it, but it's not like a fully fledged bit. And then you can go on stage and work on it and like expand it or whatever, right?

[Jared Freed]

That's different. I agree, I agree with you on that. Like that to me, that's how I like work out stuff. I'm like, oh, people like this idea. Like, what's the story? What's the personal story to it, you know?

[Eric Newman]

Yeah, attached to it, right? So you can. And then they're like. And I feel like your die hard fans are like, are going like, oh, wow. I remember that when it was just like this like funny like line or whatever. And now it's like it has all these added layers to it and they're excited that they got to kind of see that process a little bit. So I don't think, like, yeah, so it's hard to know. Like, honestly, there's a bunch of bits that I, that I watched and I'm like, I probably could have like added a better angle to that or whatever. But, you know, I just keep going. I don't. I try not to dwell on it.

[Jared Freed]

You know, everyone go watch the special. I haven't seen it yet because it's not out yet. We're taping this before it's out, but this will be out by the time. I'm sure it's hilarious. I love watching Eric on the stage. He's so funny. At. I am Eric Newman. On all platforms. The special is called Almost Engaged. The link to it is in the bio. This episode, it's ready for you to watch on a date night. On a night on the couch. Even on your phone while you're in the why not? So, Newman, thank you for coming on Napkin Newman.

[Eric Newman]

Thanks, J. TR I appreciate it.

[Jared Freed]

I'll never forget it. We'll be back next week. Boom.