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The JTrain Podcast
Husband Story, and Pregnant Parking - TICKED OFF TUESDAY - The JTrain Podcast w Jared Freid
00:32:55
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- [00:00]
Uncle J Train
I know you're angry. It's Tuesday and it has no feel. The weekend was fun. You're still hungover from the eating and next weekend is too far away. What will you do with your day? It's time to get ticked off. Complain with your gripe. Right now your friend Uncle J Train is here to tell you that you're right. It's a ticked off Tuesday. Ticked off Tuesday. You're angry and you don't even know why. Enjoy this podcast. It'll help you get to Friday.
- [01:08]
Jared Freed
Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Bloomington, Indiana. That's right, every Tuesday is a ticked off Tuesday. Are you mad? Are you angry? Do you have something to complain about? Well, send it in to jtrain podcastmail.com because every Tuesday is a TikTok Tuesday where you, the listener gets to complain with me, the comedian and the podcaster. So what does that mean? You email in or you join the Patreon today? All four submissions are from Patreon subscribers. That's what you get with your membership. I would call that putting money towards your mental health. Five bucks a month. You get coffee with J Train every Friday, which is basically my diary where I tell you stories from the week and then the commenters can comment with their ticked off Tuesday. And I'm going to let you know the Patreon subscribers are using their membership, they are complaining and then I'll read them here and we complain together. I the, you know, the, the premise here is that I will agree with any complaint you have. I'll find a way and you can really complain about anything. Anything. I will find a way to see you, to make you feel heard and then maybe I'll go in a direction you didn't think of. I'll tell you why you should be even more annoyed. So today I have four ticked off Tuesdays and these are from Patreon subscribers. Now if you don't want to sign up for the Patreon, that's totally fine. You can send your ticked off Tuesday to j train podcastmail.com you can also send your mailbag Mondays. There we are in more of need of fun, lifestyle, relationship, friendship, whatever advice, questions you might have. So jtrain podcastmail.com or the Instagram account Train podcast. Also, I'd love for you to subscribe to the YouTube channel. The YouTube channel. I am putting up stand up clips every Saturday and they're coming from shows and it's all like the crowd work parts of the show. It's all the awkward, weird interactions that come up in a comedy show. Because a comedy show is weird and awkward sometimes. So. And especially as I'm like working through material. Speaking of working through material. I'm on the road. I'm on the road. Heavy. This is my summer schedule. I'll take you through September. If you're in another city that isn't named here, I want you to go to the. Why go to my website because I'm probably coming close to you. So Spokane is this week. Spokane. That's right. I'm coming all the way. I think that's as probably as far as I can go from Florida. Spokane, Denver. Denver is always a fun weekend. I love coming to Denver. I love the comedy works. I opt for the club over a theater for Denver because of the club. So Denver, San Francisco, another place. I opt for the club over the theater. I'm coming to Cobbs. I love San Francisco. Providence, Winnipeg, Winnipeg. I've never been. I'm a common. So you. And again, this is a tough flight, Winnipeg. So if you're in the area, I ain't coming back. This is, I mean, it would take, it would. Honestly, I'd have to become the biggest star in Winnipeg to come back or. Because I, I, I am looking at flights right now and it is tough sledding, as they say. It's going to be expensive. So if you're in the Winnipeg area, I would love for you to come Kansas City, Missouri. I love coming to Kansas City. That's a fun time for me. And then Richmond, Virginia. I'm coming back. I opened for Jon Stewart there. So I'm coming back around. Those are my dates. I got four ticked off Tuesdays. I have a small complaint. I have other complaints that I have written down. Maybe I'm saving that are a little bit more evergreen. This will already have kind of run its course, which is actually part of the complaint right now. Literally the whole Internet is abuzz about the CEO caught cheating on his wife at Gillette Stadium during a Coldplay concert. So I mean, the area of New England, the, the state of Massachusetts has had some, had a weird year kind of relationship wise. It had the Karen Reed trial. If you don't know about that, look it up. I mean, my God, there's like, it's going to be a Netflix documentary. It's going to be a Netflix movie. It's going to be a movie, a documentary and everything. It'll, it'll literally be someone's life. It already is that guy, Turtle Boy who reported on it that he has made it his life. So. And then there's this. They're at the Coldplay concert. They're in a box. It looks like this guy is prom posing with a woman who looks like his wife and the lead singer, Coldplay, you know, they're. They have the kiss cam going on. They're showing people in the crowd during the concert, which is, I'm sure, something Coldplay does. And they show this guy and a woman who look like husband and wife. They're a little bit older, they look like they're together, and they're prom posing, and they react as if, oh, my God, we've been seen and caught by now. You've seen the video and the lead singer, Coplay, Chris, whatever his name is. I'm. I'm blanking on his name. It doesn't matter. He's like, oh, my God. Maybe they're, you know, cheating on their spouses. He makes a joke as, listen, I've made that joke. I've had couples at shows where they get awkward. How do you guys know each other? And they get a little weird. And you're like, okay, does your husband and wife know about this? It's a joke to be made. It get caught. So then they run away. He makes the joke, and it gets caught on camera. This woman in the crowd tapes the whole thing, puts it on TikTok. And the last I looked, which was like an hour ago, it had 91.8 million views. It is a very watchable video. Now, when I see that, I go, oh, my God, it does look like they cheated on their spouses. And then you find out they actually are cheating on their spouses. And you go, oh, well, that sucks. That sucks for everyone involved. And that's kind of where the story ends for me. Like, I look, I'm not above watching a car accident. I'm not above going, that sucks. We're all rubberneckers. We all turn and look. It's the stuff that kind of happens afterwards that maybe would have happened in good company. Over a dinner where you discuss it and you talk about what would you do? How would you feel with friends and family that gets, like, played out online. That actually feels grosser. And the lengths people go to. To go to the next step where it felt like people found joy in this. I go, what is wrong with you? And I understand, listen, if you've been cheated on, there is this, like, weird team mentality you might feel with, we got one, nabbed another one. But I genuinely, you know, get icked out by these stories. And I can't believe that someone likes it so much. And it feels like a lot of schadenfreude. A lot of people who. And again, he's like a CEO. They're in a box. They have the look of someone you're basically allowed to hate on. And it feels like, and it seems as though people take advantage of that in the grossest way possible. And it's a very social media thing. The minute you see people who are mad at people in power get that power, which they do have now to slam this person, they use it grossly. They're not so much different than the people in power they seem to hate so much. And it feels like, and what really gets me weirded out are these people that are like reporters, like self appointed online reporters. And, and they, they, they, they, they're in their sweats in their living room being like here's the update on the astronomer CEO cheating scandal. It's like you didn't go to the scene of the crime, you didn't interview anyone. You're just going based on things you've heard before and rehashing for views. And I just, and, and, and likes and, and, and I, it is gross. And then I saw, and the only reason I'm talking about this, it really did annoy me the way it seems as though losers who are mad at people in power get power and then use it in as gross as way as the people they're mad at. That it's the outward hypocrisy of these people. So then I see the woman who took the video now has a following. It has 91.8 million views and she was interviewed and I saw a quote. Listen, who knows if this is a real quote or not. I'm gonna go based on. I read it and it seems like it's what the response was. And they were saying that I don't blame the woman for posting the video. It's a funny video. That's it. Again, there's like and, and again when you get into these, these slippery slope nuanced arguments you go, you kind of have to understand that like yeah, the world is going to go past the line. And it's like when do we realize that line is going to come for us all? Like when do people, because what people are saying by posting these videos and, and slamming this, this guy, but also her and not really taking into account that there's a family, there's children, there's an actual thing going on here from people who are not public personalities. Never asked to be public personalities. Listen, you can get taped anywhere you go and be serve consequences for getting caught cheating on your wife. But there's a point where you go, well, they aren't really putting their relationship out there to make money on. So to take them down is a little bit. There's a point of like we've gone too, too far. So the woman who posts this 28 year old and she's, she's like, you know, she says, I don't really. At first I was like, oh, this is weird. And then the quote was play bet, play, play evil games, get evil prizes or something like that. It was, the quote was. And I'm not saying it right, it's like play weird. Play weird games, get bad. Play bad games, get bad prizes. Was her quote. Something like that. And that's where I'm like, how did she go from person? I get where I'm like oh, she taped it. Of course. You, yeah, you tape these things. It was a funny video. 2 I think this person is despicable and horrible and it seems as though that's the view of a certain TikTok generation that burn the world down. I don't care who else is to get or to feel badly from this, but at least a bad person was taken out. And I don't know, I just think that is a we're heading down a bad road. And it made me sad and it made me annoyed and that's my complaint. J train podcast@gmail.com J train podcast gmail.com or join the patreon patreon.com Jared free that gets you first dibs on your ticked off Tuesday. I'll do the ad and then we'll get to the four listener complaints. Vori, I love Vuoris clothing. You're going to love it too. We're giving free money away and free shipping if you orders over 75 bucks. So. And the shorts are wonderful. 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Get them this, you know, change their day. Vuori is an investment in your happiness. J train listeners get 20% off your first purchase of some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet@vuori.com jtrain that's B U R I.com j train exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75 and free returns. Go to vori.com jtrain Discover the versatility of Vori clothing exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. I'm a huge fan of Vuori. You're going to love their workout stuff. And, and I would say it says versatile. Great word, great word for what they're doing because these are, you know, where, you know, where to the gym, where to fly, where doing stuff around the house, where to go get coffee. All right, let's go to the listener. TikTok Tuesdays. This morning I woke up to a text saying the commuter train is operating 45 minutes late due to a vehicle stuck on the tracks. But I still had to get up on time and get to the train station on time because there's always a chance the train will actually leave on time. It did they put in parentheses. So now I'm on the train as I write this and we are not behind schedule at all. Where is the 45 minute delay I was promised? It's not like I like train delays, but it'd be nice to have a valid excuse to be late to the office. It's the silliest thing, but I get so annoyed every time there's a dramatic service alert message that doesn't live up to the hype. The show hope to see you in Utah. I agree. I mean the thing that you're not writing that would bother me. Listen, a good excuse is great. The fact that your good excuse, I mean the good thing is you have in your pocket a text from the train that you could show to your office or your manager. But if there's someone else you know on the train, they're like, I was on that train. It got there on time. I do understand this. Like, you were promised a delay. So then you, in your head, you readjust your life based on this delay. So I get that. And then the delay doesn't happen. And you start thinking of your life in sliding dorms, sliding doors ways. You start thinking of your life like, what would have happened with the delay? What would have happened without the delay? And, oh, my God, I would have been here had it been 45 minutes later. And I would have been there. That is a weird thing that my brain does that would annoy me because now it's put in my brain by this text. Here's the annoying part that you're not really getting at. If you're going to send me a text that says your train is 45 minutes late, I want updates every 10 minutes. I want a text every 10 minutes until that train takes off. 10 minutes later, I want still 45 minutes behind. Now we're at 35 minutes behind. Now we're at 25 minutes behind. No, the train is actually going to leave less than 35 minutes. I want updates every 10 minutes telling me what the train's deal is. I don't want a 45 minute, oh, we're delayed tomorrow. 45 minutes and then nothing. I want to be updated at every single change. And if, even if there are no changes, I want updates. So I want. You said you got the. I woke up to a text saying the commuter train is operating 45 minutes late. From that moment, that text is sent every 10 minutes. I want a little nudge. I want something. And because if they have the ability to say, hey, you, person who got the ticket, we're 45 minutes late, they also have the ability to go, hey, you. We're actually still at 45 minutes late. Just wanted to make sure you knew. Hey, you, we're at 35 minutes late now. The train is moving ahead of schedule from the changed departure time. That's what I want. I want. If you're gonna bother me with this 45 minutes late thing, then we're here. We're at the point that you brought us to now. Keep us going. We want the slow drip of information every 10 minutes. Jtrain podcastmail.com J train podcastmail.com or again, I have to just keep coming back to the Patreon. People really do seem to love it. We don't lose people, you know, every month which is like, to me, a compliment. I'm a skilled craftsperson and I have a small niche Internet following for my knitting and sewing creations. I love that I make all of my own clothes and I love giving people in my life small items like tote bags and hats. It's one of my major joys in life. However, I am growing tired of people that I barely know, sometimes after meeting only once, asking me to. Hold on, this is crazy. However, I am growing tired of people that I barely know, sometimes after meeting only once, asking me to hem their pants, or family members asking me to make upwards of 12 identical items for their friends. No, no, no, no. This is crazy. It is crazy to meet someone, find out they have a sewing talent and then be like, hey, can you take these pants in a little bit? They're. They're getting a little loose. Like, I can't even imagine the balls to say such a thing. And it is always something so tacky that I would never make, ever. No, I'm not going to make you 12 animal themed iPhone cord holders to me. They need to pay you. I am busy making hoe clothes for my hot girl summer. I like that they went from the most innocent thing. No, I'm sorry, I can't make you a onesie for your new baby boy. I have to make a slutty top to wear to the Beyonce concert. Like, I don't know, it's such a. Or worse, they offer to pay me. I have a successful marketing career. I don't need to monetize every moment of my day. I mean, I get them being like, I want to pay you. That's a compliment to your work. But like, also, I don't have the time to do all these things. Let me sew my new. Let me sew my crop tops and miniskirts in peace without having to stop to make your aunts, coworkers, daughter's friend a teapot. Koozie. Enough. I'm with you. This is annoying. It is weird to me that anyone would feel comfortable asking you to make. Here's where I say because you're making things already. If I saw you, I wouldn't do this. But if someone saw that you made something and you posted it on your small, as you call it, niche Internet for your following and you posted something cool. Oh my God, I love what you did. If you ever make a double of it, I'm in the market and would gladly pay whatever you ask for it. That's the only way I could see someone asking to be like to go to someone whose career is something completely different and be like, hey, can you make me a skew? Like that is actually crazy. Can you make me 12 iPhone cord holders? Like 12? 12. Are you kidding me? These things don't just happen. And the idea that they're, like doing you a favor. No, no, no, no. I do this thing that I love to do, and I do it for myself. I've done it for some close friends. But like, the minute you're a friend of a friend asking for 12, yet we don't take orders here. This isn't a business. This is just a fun thing. I just. To me, the complaint is the. The actual ability. What I don't understand is how I have so much thought in my head of bothering someone. Hey, I just wanted to ask if I could please use your bathroom yet. Is the Starbucks? Everyone can use our bathroom. Like, that's how I'm going through life. And then there are these other people going through life in the most unrelatable way. And that's what gets me angry, that they're like, hey, I saw you. So some shit. Why don't you make a batch of 12 for me? Yeah, I'll take a baker's dozen. Yeah, I'll pay you. Here's. Here's a 10. And they throw a, you know, a 10 at you. Like that. That to me, I'm like, are these people out there and they're just operating thinking that they're like good and normal people? They don't like if they should. I need them to know that they're acting crazy. J train podcast gmail.com j train podcastmail.com I got two more here from you, the listener. Feather, Feather. Here is my ticked off Tuesday. I'm nine months pregnant. Congratulations. And had a doctor's appointment today. I have to go weekly at this point, which is his own battle. But here's my real complaint. The parking lot has no less than eight close parking spots reserved for physicians. These don't have any specific names names on these spots. They're just generally marked for. These don't have any specific names on these spots. They're just generally marked for the physicians. This office is attached to a hospital and I am truly baffled that the doctors don't have some specific lot. What really irks me is that they haven't allocated any spots for pregnant patients, which is something I have seen at other OB offices. It's bad enough being this pregnant in July, but to then have to waddle my way across a giant parking lot every Week is a miserable experience. If ever there was a time in my life where I feel I should be granted a couple amenities, it's this time. Thanks for letting me air my grievances. You have been heard. This is actually crazy. The fact that some cocky physician in his Ferrari gets to pull up next to the door and you're doing a six mile hike from the parking lot that's adjacent to where you're getting checked on for your pregnancy is actually crazy. And this is like one of those things like on the train, the subway. In New York, there's the common complaint that you know someone's pregnant and then someone doesn't get up. That's because we're shoulder to shoulder. In New York, if you're on the subway, you have to make eye contact with people. You have to sit in the reality that you're the douchebag that's not giving up their seat for a pregnant woman. In this scenario, what annoys me, along with your complaint, which is so, so correct, it annoys me that these doctors get there early in the morning before the day. So they have this, like built in naivete. They have this blissful naivete. They can sit there and go, well, I didn't know there was pregnant women coming to the pregnancy office. Which is crazy. The idea that they can sit there and go, oh, do we have appointments with pregnant people today? That's the only person we meet with on a daily basis. Oh, really is crazy. There should be all those spots, should be pregnancy spots. And then their response would be, well, not every day do we have 10 pregnant women here. So make three, make two. Don't have them all be physicians. But also, let's just make the spots general spots. At that point, to me, when you're making them physician spots, you're basically saying, we need these doctors, need these spots up close. No, they don't. No, they don't. They're going to work at an office just like the rest of us. Yes, they do an admirable career. They do an admirable and something I wouldn't be able to do. We need doctors. Do we need them parked closely to the hospital so that the pregnant women can walk? It's just this. I just think this is made in the back rooms of the hospital without having to see the judgment of the pregnant women. And here's the problem that you have. It's like an NCAA athlete, they wanted to like unionize the athletes for the ncaa. And it's like the problem is after four years, those athletes are gone. And worried about their own life after graduating college. Same with you. Pregnant woman is a group that at some point you're out and you don't care about the other pregnant women. Not because you don't care about them, because you have your own problems. You have a kid, so now you become newborn baby mom, and you're trying to fight for that group, your group, the. The issue you have. And if the real complaint is that your group has no power, pregnant women leave, become, you know, become pregnant women, and then leave that group and become newborn baby moms, then become toddler moms, then become, you know, tween moms, and then the you. You lose power. Now, you could say moms in general have a power, but pregnant versus not pregnant, we have a division in what we need. So this is a problem that will probably never get fixed. And it's probably why the doctors live in this blissful naivete. They go, what are they going to do about it one day? They're not going to be pregnant anymore. They're going to have their kid and they're going to move the fuck on. So let's get our car spots. I don't know why I made them so devious, but it feels devious to me. Last one, Jared. I've been meeting writing for a while. My sons 22 and 19 finally pushed me to do it because they're ticked off at me. And now I'm ticked off too. Okay, we got a lot of people ticked off. I'm a big fan of a certain comedian. You whose Jewish mom stories, Bokeh lifestyle, iced coffee takes and weight struggles feel very relatable. Well, thank you. It's weird to have your your subjects boil down to like five, but okay, yeah, that is what I talk about. I've been to multiple shows listen daily, including Fridays on Patreon. Well, thank you. And yes, occasionally reply to your Instagram posts when something really resonates or cracks me up. Well, thank you again. My sons think it's weird and cringe that I DM you. They claim you probably find it annoying or think I'm obsessed. I've tried explaining. I'm just a passionate fan who feels connected to your material and my husband of 26 years gets it. So who's right? Am I a weirdo for reaching out or are they being dramatic? Settle this for us. We're all years ticked off fat. You're not being. I appreciate any message I get. I totally appreciate and I hope that when I respond that that's appreciated as much as I Appreciate the message. Sometimes I'll write a thank you. Sometimes I'll just heart the issue to me. Sometimes. And this isn't, I don't, you know, this isn't a reflection, a response to this person. Sometimes someone tries to continue the conversation with me that I've had here. But, like, my point has been made now if you have, like a counterpoint, I, my thing is sometimes I can't spend the day on it. I've moved past it. So if I'm annoyed at something or I'm passionate about something in this moment, you know, talking about the. Earlier in the episode, I was talking about the, the doctor or the doctor, the, the CEO who got caught cheating. Like, if someone had a response that, like, I would read the response. But I, I do have to remind people, or I, I guess I, there's no, there's no good in me saying to someone, hey, this is a lot for right now. Like, I, I, to me, Sometimes I give DMs that are like someone getting things off of their chest. So when it's a compliment and I like it and say thank you, I genuinely am thanking you. There's never a nice message that I'm annoyed to get some constructive messages. Maybe I'm not in the headspace because it's hitting me 2 o' clock on a Tuesday when I taped it two weeks ago on a Monday. So I, and I think when I explain that, or I've tried to in the past, I have to delete it all and say there's no use. I have no, there's no use in me getting into it with them because they've made their point and that I don't have the time or energy for the point. Again, I'm away from where your initial complaint is, so I disagree with your kids. It is not cringy to send, hey, this made me laugh. Hey, I enjoy today's episode. It is not weird. Only gets weird when I, you know, this is a produced piece, I give it to a producer, we put it out. It's a show. So when you tape the show, sometimes it's in, you know, the part that gets weird is someone talking about, like I'm, I'm entered into an argument or discussion. It's not always an argument, but a discussion that I wasn't really signing up for because I did it earlier in the week. But this is all to say I appreciate all nice messages and it would annoy me if my kids were like, oh, you're a weirdo for being thankful to someone who helps my day or helps me get through the quiet times of my life. So yeah, fuck your kids. Jtrain podcast gmail.com jtrain podcast@juma.com back next week. Boom.