I Only Hook Up With Men Who Love Heated Rivalry with Liza Treyger

Summary

The JTrain Podcast: "I Only Hook Up With Men Who Love Heated Rivalry"

Host: Jared Freid
Guest: Liza Treyger
Date: January 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic JTrain mix of personal anecdotes, observational humor, and candid talk about obsessions, travel, comedy, and pop culture—with an especially deep dive into the steamy appeal of TV drama "Heated Rivalry." Liza Treyger, a favorite recurring guest and fellow comedian, joins host Jared Freid to riff on everything from airline loyalty and performing on the road, to the intricacies of sexual chemistry and fanbases. The tone is warm, fast-paced, and irreverently honest throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Airline Anecdotes & Delta Loyalty (00:19 - 17:36)

• Travel & Drinking on Flights:

  • Liza shares she's entering a new "drinking on flights era," having normally been a non-drinker but recently discovering the pleasure of an in-flight vodka soda.
  • Jared relates, joking about his former first-class-only drinking rule:

    "I used to have a 'only drink in first class' policy because I'll only drink out of the china... feels good." (01:32)

  • Both describe the camaraderie (or lack thereof) with fellow travelers and the hilarity of accidentally setting drinking trends on planes.

• Delta Loyalty & Complaints:

  • Both comedians commiserate over their Delta Airlines loyalty—the inconveniences (layovers, no direct flights), the emotional ups and downs, and critique the airline's approach to “lifetime achievement” milestones.
  • Jared shares a story of a 2-million-mile Delta flyer being celebrated in Delta Comfort instead of first class:

    "If you hit 2 million miles while in Delta Comfort...either don't announce it or put me in first class. Don't let people see they're aspiring to nothing." (16:31)

  • Liza calculates her own miles, acknowledges the grind of self-funded travel versus company-paid road warriors, and shares the humiliation of being squeezed into bad seats due to last-minute ticket changes.

Promoting Stand-Up Dates & Comedian Life (05:49 - 10:47, 39:12 - 41:04)

• Upcoming Shows:
  • Jared and Liza discuss show dates in New York (Gramercy Theatre on Jared's birthday, Feb 21), Somerville, MA (Jan 30), and Kansas City (Feb 27 - Mar 1).
  • Liza shares the odd compliment from her new agent, emphasizing that venues love her even if ticket sales lag:

    "For as little tickets you sell, the way people want you back at their venues... I've never seen it before. I go, 'I'm a pleasure.'" (06:47)

  • Affection for JTrain fans as superior audiences—positive, fun-loving, and open-minded.
  • Jared fondly reminisces about fun post-show hangs, mutual respect in the comedy community, and jokingly calls Liza his go-to friend for spontaneous outings.

NYC Living Woes & Podcasting Realities (20:01 - 22:00)

• Noisy Radiators and Nostalgia:
  • Liza’s impossibly loud NYC radiator interrupts the recording, providing comedic fodder.
  • Jared likens the sound to “a group of homeless people forming a band outside a Knicks game.”
  • Liza shares her guests’ terrified reaction, underscoring the odd comfort and chaos of New York living.

"Heated Rivalry" – The Viral Show & Sexual Dynamics (23:39 - 33:56)

• Obsessive Fandom:

  • Liza is “in full heated rivalry heat moment,” obsessed with the drama series and even attending themed workout classes.
  • She describes the show as the "sexiest thing" she's ever seen, replacing her need for porn:

    “I canceled my porn subscriptions. Like, I don't... My porn doesn't work for me anymore. I don't know what I'm gonna do.” (26:42)

• Consent, Power, and Representation:

  • They analyze why the male-male dynamic is so hot and why it resonates with straight women:
    • The pleasure of seeing “aggressive, dominating but very tender and communicative sex…”
    • Both leads are equals, rich and powerful, avoiding tired narratives of imbalance.
    • The show is written from a women’s gaze and by a gay man, offering new layers of representation and sexual agency.
  • Liza expands:

    "...it's this aggressive sex or like dominating but very tender and like communicative, which I think is cool...your pleasure and your boundaries...are being listened to. That's what's hard about my porn. I can't watch anymore..." (28:17)

  • The conversation explores how straight women are drawn to smutty male/male fiction for its attention to mutual pleasure and lack of female objectification.
  • Jared is surprised, learning about lesbian and straight women’s historic enjoyment of gay male erotica:

    "I didn't know that women would be [into this]...Lesbians have historically loved gay male porn?" (30:22)

• Fidelity to the Book & Performance:

  • Liza praises the acting—especially a Russian-language monologue.
  • She emphasizes the positive portrayal:

    "To see this... It's just so nice to see this... you know you're not watching a woman be disrespected." (31:12)

  • Jared promises to keep watching, motivated by Liza’s enthusiasm.

Games – The Applebee’s Appetizer Draft (34:05 - 38:08)

• Jared presents Liza with the Applebee’s appetizer menu, playing a game to choose three apps they'd share.
• Liza’s picks:
  • Spinach & artichoke dip (“I want that, if I'm going to Applebee's” 36:49)
  • Boneless wings (“Controversial. But I like boneless wings” 37:15)
  • Pickle fries (“For fun, I would try the new pickle fries” 37:43)
• Jared enthusiastically agrees with her ordering skills, sharing mutual “cousin energy” and a history of great meals together.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Delta Loyalty:

  "Delta stands for life, which I get mad at Delta, like they're a family member." – Jared (04:25)

• On Comedy Audiences:

  "Your fans are the best people. Anytime J Train people are at my shows, they're the best." – Liza (05:49)

• On Sexual Chemistry in "Heated Rivalry":

  "The way he fucks is like... I canceled my porn subscriptions." – Liza (26:42)

• On Representation:

  "It's aggressive sex or like dominating, but very tender and communicative... your pleasure and your boundaries...are being listened to." – Liza (28:17)

• On the Applebee’s Game:

  "Boneless at Applebee’s is the answer. Bone-in at Applebee’s is the incorrect answer." – Jared (37:15)

• On Shared Roots:

  "Maybe our families were in the same Russian village. Maybe that, like, do you ever think about that?" – Jared (38:27)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:19 – 04:25: Drinking on flights, Delta loyalty banter
• 05:49 – 10:47: Live show promotions, agent stories, mutual respect for fans
• 16:31 – 18:03: Delta’s embarrassing 2-million-miler announcement
• 20:01 – 22:00: NYC radiators and podcasting interruptions
• 23:39 – 33:56: "Heated Rivalry" fandom, sexual dynamics, and representation in media
• 34:05 – 38:08: Applebee’s appetizer draft game
• 39:12 – 41:04: Closing camaraderie, St. Patrick’s Day, birthday jokes

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Final Thoughts

This episode is perfect for fans who love listening to two witty comics explore everything from the minutiae of air travel to the deeper pleasures of queer representation on screen. Liza’s obsession with "Heated Rivalry" drives a surprisingly thoughtful discussion about sexual dynamics, equality, and why certain portrayals resonate so powerfully, especially with women. Longtime listeners will recognize the familiar blend of playful games, inside jokes, and warmth that makes the JTrain Podcast a Monday-morning staple.

Transcript

[A]

Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them too. Chit Chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a Ch Chat Wednesday too. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is Jay Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Wednesday is a Chit Chat Wednesday where I sit with a comedian, a friend, an expert. Today I sit with all three. Comedian, friend, expert in Law and Order svu, Lisa Traeger. Thank you for coming back to the show. An OKP original key player, a key member, an honor at the jcu, the J Train Cinematic Universe.

[B]

How. Well, yeah, I'm, I feel like I've heard all the different intros every time I come on, you know, this is my first Delray intro.

[A]

So. That's, that's right. You're collecting all the cards, much like you're collecting all the Delta cards.

[B]

Okay, this might feel lame cuz I do fly all the time. I never really drink on flights. That's not really my thing. But last week I started and I think I'm in my drinking on flight. Sarah.

[A]

Oh, I've been there. I know the drinking on flights era. It is.

[B]

I got to do it.

[A]

It's almost classic. Like you feel you're like a 1980s. Like it's a throwback to like better times where especially when you're in first class. I used to have a only drink in first class policy because I was like, I'll only drink out of the china. They give me like the glass which feels good. But how.

[B]

No, my favorite is when they give it to you before they take off and then they see and they go, I'll give you a few more sips. I'll get the rest of the cup. Yes, like they know, they know you want to feel the bottom.

[A]

Well, that kind of. To me that feels old school. That's an old timey, like, yeah, get a little drunker. We'll, we'll take off when we take off.

[B]

The other thing that's awesome is when you start the reaction because I ordered a vodka soda at 10am on this flight and the woman next to me went five o' clock somewhere and then she got a drink.

[A]

I like, it was awesome. You've given allowance to everyone and that happened yesterday. I felt bad. Sometimes you stop the reaction. Someone said to me, I, I Had a. I had a diet Dr. Brown's, which looks like a diet Dr. Brown's Cream Soda. Looks like you're drinking like a watered down Jack and Coke or like a scotch and soda. And I played golf with my family in like this Fun. It was actually a benefit. Morgan Pressel, she's on, you know, NBC. She does the lp. She's a retired LLPGA golfer. She's a good friend of my parents, lives in their community. They do a huge event called Morgan and Friends. It's an unbelievable charity that raises a ton of money for cancer. And they, My parents do it every year. But I was in a foursome. My parents and their friend and their friend goes, we starting early. Scotch and soda. And I'm like, Dr. Brown's. And he was like. Because I think he would have jumped on.

[B]

Yeah, I do that all the time where I'm like, shots, right? And. And that's. You get the vibe of what's going on. And nothing is worse when you're like, okay, I guess we're not all on.

[A]

Look, I've been there, like.

[B]

But I'm in a drinking mode right now. I. I had a couple fun flights back to back with some vodka sodas and I'm like, oh, I post stuff that's fun. I'm a pleasure. Like, I like this.

[A]

It loosens you up to like, I, I listen. There's like, you know, there's, I mean, writers and I've been drunk on a flight before.

[B]

I don't want ever anything. I'm a loser. I've been cut off on a flight after I've been dumped. Like, I've been there. I just am not really that big of a drinker. I'm more of a stoner. So I, you know, I'll have a party night. I'll have a Manhattan Monday. I'll like, do something. But I'm not really a drinker like that. But I'm about to enter the era and I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled. And I think of you, of course. You, You. And then my other friend, Jared. Thank God it's two Jared's. You're my Delta, my Delta boy.

[A]

Delta stands for life, which I get mad at Delta, like they're a family member. Like, when Delta lets me down, like, I'm like, disappointed. I'm not, I'm not gonna leave them. It's like a marriage where we're going through a fight. I just had a tick.

[B]

Jared.

[A]

Tuesday where I got so annoyed with Delta. Do you want to hear a Story. I actually want to tell you a story.

[B]

Well, I have a quick one. And then give me a story. San Francisco to Vegas, layover at lax.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Well, that's what we do for Delta. Because Delta doesn't have a direct from San Fran to Vegas.

[A]

That's. Well, that's crazy. That. That's when. Where I go, Delta. What are we doing? Like, that's a. That's just.

[B]

That's what I mean. Right? Like, you go.

[A]

And again, it's a hub thing. Probably, like, SFO is a Delta hub. Vegas is probably an American air, US Air hub, so. Or Southwest, whatever it is. So they don't have the space. But, like, we're talking Vegas to San Francisco. We're talking two major cities. We're talking sports teams come from there. Like, this isn't like Des Moines. I. So I am in Delta Comfort the other day. This will come out before my complaint comes out, because we're taping this late to get Lisa in. Because the reason we have Lisa on is because she's a good friend and good friend of the pod. But most importantly, she is going to be in New York City at the Gramercy Theater on my birthday. The worst day of the year, February 21st. She's going to be at the Gramercy Theater. We want everyone to go to the show. The Gramercy Theater is such a fun.

[B]

Theater, and your fans are the best people. Anytime J train people are at my shows. They're the best.

[A]

They're fun to talk down for any subject. Laughers, cacklers, fun people, successful people. There's no, like, loyal loyal. There's no, like, third thing to get through where they need you to be a certain way or agree with a certain thing to get through to the joke. And I am so appreciative of the people that come to my show. I take it as a huge compliment. I get compliments on the audience from people everywhere. But most importantly, let me set up your night. February 21st. I don't know what day of the week that is.

[B]

Saturday night or Friday. Like, I'm doing a weekend.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So a weekend in New York City at Grammars.

[A]

That is like, the easiest ticket to sell to people because you go, hey, think. Well, Gregory, for me to sell, maybe not for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For me, it is a weekend. New York City, great show.

[B]

You know what? My new agent.

[A]

What?

[B]

My new agent. I have a new road agent. I'm really excited. I really love his vibe and energy. We're having a. We went to Hillstone, to, like, meet in person. We're having a good time. And he goes, honestly, for as little tickets you sell the way people want you back at their venues, I've never seen it before. He goes, everyone wants you back. Yet the tickets aren't really showing that. I go, I'm a pleasure.

[A]

This is the other thing I was going to say, like, the Lisa is my number one. Like, if you're like, should we go out? Liz is the number one. Like, yes, we're doing it, you know, so that, that is infectious.

[B]

Yeah. And it's not. It's for everything. Aquaria. My friend Caleb says, I'm very curious. You know, I like to have a good time in a lot of ways. I'm interested in people. Sometimes you talk to people after shows and you care about their job, but they're insecure that, like, you don't actually care. I'm like, no, I am interested.

[A]

No, I want to hear about it. I want to hear what I actually.

[B]

I do want to hear. But people get like, but my job's bored. I'm like, I don't think it's boring.

[A]

You know, I don't do it.

[B]

Your dad was a athletic doctor for the Pacers. Yeah, I have questions.

[A]

Yeah, I have a lot.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

I got a lot of, I got to hear about Reggie Miller. I, I, well, I was thinking about, honestly, I was thinking about Delray beach, me being here. I'm like, I'm ready for a Lisa weekend. Like, I'm ready for you to do Dania beach and then like, yeah, come stay with me. I'm looking at the, the bedroom. You can stay in. All, all ready to go. 10 minute walk from the beach. You would have fun. You.

[B]

I'm just scared about bikes. I'm scared of bicycles. I feel like you're always on a.

[A]

Bike when I'm not going to put you on the handlebars. We're going to go.

[B]

Okay, okay. Okay.

[A]

So, okay. So this is all to say, February 20th, Lisa's such a bad ticket seller, she interrupts her own promotion that I'm about to say, this is a great part of the city to go to dinner, go to the show. You're in it. I like, if you're coming from Westchester, coming from New Jersey, coming from Long island, train right there. It's all a night. It's all built for you. And Lisa is going to be unbelievable. And here's the other thing. This is how good of a friend I am. And Lisa doesn't know this yet. I don't think. I don't think she knows. This is a surprise. We're going to get a reaction. If you're watching on YouTube, you can watch Lisa's reaction to what I'm about to say. She's also going to be in SOMERVILLE, Mass, On January 30, the same exact night. I am in Massachusetts at. In Boston. So we're talking double.

[B]

Wait, this happened last time. This happened last time we were in. You think? Yes. Alex was opening for you. Carly Kane was opening for me, and we all met up. And then, of course, you left us.

[A]

But I had to go.

[B]

We sat at the bar with you. Well, there were divorcees that wanted to hang.

[A]

There was a divorce say vibe going on in that room that night.

[B]

Dude, are you fucking kidding?

[A]

We're.

[B]

We're in Boston the same night again.

[A]

Night. So everyone go see Lisa. She's in Somerville, which is different area of town. But go to Lisa's show if you want to do a double feature. I have a late show that night. You can go. Liza first, me second.

[B]

I'll get in your car.

[A]

Yeah, get in your car.

[B]

Come watch me. I'll get in your car, and we'll caravan to Jerry.

[A]

There it is. So everyone go buy tickets. Lisa. And then I'm going to give another city for her, which I don't generally do well in Kansas City, Missouri. I feel like you're going to love Kansas City. The whole Taylor Swift of it all. They have really bought in.

[B]

I was. I was actually there. I think they were already dating. Maybe not. It would have. I think it was the super bowl before they started dating. But I was in Kansas City right before the super bowl, going to, like, the merch shops. Even. Everyone at the nail salon was dressed like it really is the whole fucking town. And I was just in Skokie. The Bears just beat the packers, and, like, people were in their Bears gear.

[A]

And I'm going this way.

[B]

I don't know if it's because in New York, everyone's mixed up or something. Oh, yeah, Your brother.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, congratulations. Holy shit. But Bears stuff everywhere. It felt, like really, really cool. And you. One time. You got to come with us Chicago people. I don't go as often, but everyone goes to Canal Bar.

[A]

I want to watch it because, you know, I get pumped to see it. Tommy, when I walk, I mean, they're.

[B]

Painting their nails at the bar.

[A]

The one behind me, the cheer act. Yes, I. I really want to go, because I see his videos, and I'm like, I should be there. Like, I see it and I get well. So. Well, you're. What you were about to say and I interrupted you rudely is New York City is a transplant town. You have to go find the Bears bar. Like when you're in the town, when they're on fire. Like right now, Chicago, the whole week's a party. Like it's the. Yeah, it takes over. So this is all to say Kansas City, February 27th to the March 1st. Lisa is going to be there as well. Now these are the ads for the Lisa Traeger Chit chat Wednesday. I'm doing Lola blanket first. I have the blanket. Okay. If you. We are sponsored by Lola blankets. I am holding it up on YouTube. If you're watching on YouTube, this blanket is unbelievable. It's heavy. So if you want the weighted blanket feel, it's comfortable. You want to snuggle up to it. I'm holding it here because I want you to see how wonderful a blanket is if you didn't get what you wanted. This holiday season, treat yourself to a Lola blanket. Lola is the world's number one blanket. Crafted with ultra soft luxury faux fur and a signature four way stretch, Lola blankets are machine washable and built to last for years. Lola blankets are so comfortable and makes for a great gift. I have to say, like, this is one of those sponsors that made my mom go like she reacted, loved it. It looks good in my apartment. I'm holding it again on YouTube. You can see it. It is one of those blankets. You're going to be happy you got it. Is it? I mean, it is like that nap blanket that you're looking for. And again, to bring it back to my mom. My mom's a tough customer. She is someone that's tough to shop for. This is something that made her react and was like, oh my God, I've been hearing about it everywhere. People are hearing about this blanket. I was just at an event yesterday. Lola blanket was one of the sponsors there. It was for, you know, older sophisticated people that are looking for this. So if you're looking for a gift that is going to make people react positively, I think Lola blanket is it. And also a gift to yourself that people go, oh my God, I've been hearing about it. Upgrade your home with Lola's weighted blankets and and matching pillows. Save when you bundle. For a limited time, J Train listeners can get, I mean, get ready. For a limited time, J Train listeners can get 40, 40 off select Lola Blanket products with code J train at checkout. Wow. Just head To Lola Blankets dot com, use code J Train. That's Lola blankets dot com, use code J Train. After your purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them J Train sent you. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola Blankets. We were talking about something that I, I said we would get to. Damn it, I lost.

[B]

Well, you had a big story. You had a flight story.

[A]

I'll let you. I'm in Delta Comfort. I'm going Philly to West Palm. And they go over the loudspeaker. So this will be my complaint on ticked off Tuesday. This is what we call a tease next week because I already taped the episode. The guy, they go, we just want to make an announcement. We have someone on here who is a 2 million miler and everyone is like, woo, 2 million. And I don't know how many miles you have. I have 950,000 miles lifetime.

[B]

I know exactly how many I have. I have 730,000.

[A]

So we fly a lot. Okay. You've. You, you've gone to Australia already?

[B]

Oh, no, they wouldn't let me in.

[A]

They wouldn't let me in.

[B]

The visas got shut down twice. Twice. I've been there before. I've been on Australian television. I've. I did FBI reports. I got fingerprinted at 1 PP. They would not let me back in this year.

[A]

So the second time it didn't happen.

[B]

No, I, I did everything they said. I sent everything in FBI, I wrote the letters, I did everything. And then a week before I'm supposed to leave for the tour, they go, actually, we want you to go to the Australian consulate. We need this notarized and you can only do it there. And we want the state criminal background check, even though I did one at one at one Police Plaza and a full FBI one that took six to nine weeks.

[A]

Oh my God. So you, I, I'm sitting here thinking you went on this worldwide adventure, but you've been before. So we are.

[B]

I've been twice before, yeah.

[A]

Besides the flight.

[B]

But this is what I know where you're going. And it's like, how do people fly more than us? And I'll tell you, it's the people whose companies are paying for them to fly. They're flying three times a day for a meeting.

[A]

But even listen, I agree with, I understand that like someone once told me, I think you might have been there. They're like, your flight to Cleveland doesn't do shit if someone's going to China twice a year, they're beating you. They're. It's over, you know, So I. I would say. And getting paid by their company, like, we're paying our own flight or we're being given a stipend to go pay for our own flight, so. But I get 2 million miles. I'm just saying I know how much time my body's in the air. It's a lot at 950,000 miles lifetime. This guy has 2 million miles. They go, John Smith. And everyone cheers. He's across from me in Delta Comfort. Isn't that the most embarrassing thing you've ever heard in your entire life? Like, shouldn't. Delta. If you're Gonna hit the 2 million mile mark, either don't announce it if I'm in Delta Comfort, or put me in first class. Like, don't let people see that they're aspiring to nothing.

[B]

Maybe he booked it last minute. You're right. I understand exactly where you're circumstances.

[A]

Then don't make the announcement because you.

[B]

Remember this year, I was not stuck, but I realized in my connection that the club I was going to wasn't going to pay me and ran out of money and had checks bounced.

[A]

Well, they really fucked around. I mean, they closed.

[B]

Yeah. Blue Room because they then spring clean, created a account. Yeah, they started harassing me. But I got a message from them. I blocked them finally, but going, thanks a lot. Hope your career is going good while you ended ours. And I'm like, okay, you have arrests for beating women. Go fudge yourself. But anyways, like, that flight the woman had to get. Like, I had to be in row 26. I had to get in a flight with, you know, I had a home. They had to squeeze me in, and I was humiliated.

[A]

Yeah, well, that is humiliating. That is. I mean, I can't believe I had you on the podcast again. I'm just saying that if you hit 2 million miles while in 2016. See, let's do the. Let's do the party next time. Let's, let's, let's give me the gift. They gave him a gift. They brought it back to this guy.

[B]

Wait, what was the gift?

[A]

It was a leather passport holder, and I think it said Delta. So you want to hear the craziest part? The woman next to me, she goes. I guess we're all. Because it was like a big to do. So headphones come off of me. Woman next to me. Now her and I are like the Caddy. What'd you get? You know, like. And she goes. Woman next to me goes. We're all curious what he's gonna Get. And I go, I can tell you what, he didn't get first class.

[B]

Did she laugh?

[A]

Laughed hysterically. She's like. She even goes, that is funny. Oh, my God. And I was so happy. I was, like, the happiest I've ever been. So I had. So I have to ask. I. You know, you've been on, like, the pot. Oh, also, Lisa has a Netflix special that's out right now. You can go watch it. You should watch it. You need to watch it. It's hilarious. You can hear my voice introducing Lisa on the special. You know, a little me time right now on Lisa's big promotion. Everyone go watch Lisa special. You're on, like, the podcast rounds, and you're, like, doing a Marc Maron. Every clip of you is calling people out, and I love it. I.

[B]

Well, why? Because you know what bothers me? I'll tell you, that's. Yes, that's what's annoying. It's like, we talked for an hour and a half, and you're clipping me talking about people I don't like. And it's like, come on, we said lots of fun stuff. Like, I was funny. Just authentic. Like, you don't have to do the names of people everyone hates. Like, I don't reshare those. Actually, it bothers me, and I have to be smarter about not wasting my time talking about people I don't like. But I enjoy it. I hate these people.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I don't like that they clip it. It's annoying.

[A]

It's annoying because then, first of all, you're the one that has to deal with it, not them. Second of all, do people go to the special? You know, people are more likely to go from this clip to the special than clip to the podcast. You know, like, I. What's the pemdas? You know, like, I the. Or, you know, the. The order of operations. I don't know. And you know what? If we knew what was helpful for a special, we would do that thing. We would. If someone came to us and we're like, here's the numbers. Every time you talk shit about another comedian, it doesn't help you, but every time you and Lisa, which we're going to do later. This is a tease. What are you doing?

[B]

It's my radiator. Sorry.

[A]

This is why I left New York.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

You're living like Oliver Twist. The radiator. I thought that was, like, someone. I literally thought someone was taking a fork and hitting it against the. Like, the stovetop. That the loudest radiator oh, this is nothing.

[B]

It's. Yeah, it gets crazy.

[A]

I. I hope people can hear this. It literally sounds like she has a homeless. A group of homeless people that formed a band, and they're playing drums on the street outside of the Knicks game. Like, this is like. And I don't want to ever become Florida guy who talks shit on New York. I love New York. I think there's a great reason to live there. I think the discomfort of New York is part of its comfort. Like, I think, like, being in the apartment where your couch is next to the bed. I did it. I loved it. I still love it. I get it. This is the loudest radiator click I have ever heard in my entire life.

[B]

No, my. My podcast listeners call it sword fighting. But the best was I went to a Broadway. They're like, oh, this? Well, no, I stopped talking. We, like, pause while it bangs. We've start. We. We started pausing. But I did have friends over and, like, not close, close friends. Like, it's not like they've been here and know me that well, but, like, we went to a Broadway show. I was like, why don't you all come over? We'll have a drink and smoke some weed. And I'm used to it, right? So we're sitting. We're sitting. And after Wings a while ago, I go, oh, sorry, guys, it's the radiator. And they go, yeah, we were terrified. We were calm. Cause you felt calm, but we thought someone was breaking in. It was. And, like, everyone was stressed, but being quiet because I felt so calm. But I just am kind of used to it. But I forget that it is crazy because you seemed pissed. You thought I was doing something, like, insane.

[A]

I wasn't pissed. I was like, no, you were pissed.

[B]

You were angry. Jared. I saw you, you know. I know.

[A]

I was angered at the idea that because I didn't see her hands. So I was like, is she just playing the spoons?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

So York is funny. Yeah, New York is funny. But I live above a coffee shop. Ran down. They smiled when they saw me. You know I'm okay. I also think you're very brave to have me on this week while I'm in a full heated rivalry heat moment. Are you not watching heated rivalry at all? You heard of it?

[A]

You're not watching last night.

[B]

It's a lot, it's last night.

[A]

It's a lot of frustration, I gotta say.

[B]

Oh, I, I wake up, I put it on and I just watch it. Morning night I was at my parents house trying to really be Ilya but my parents are too nice. Like you'll learn more. But I am. I don't. I haven't felt like this since Titanic, like since fifth grade.

[A]

So I am put you in heat. It's, it's, it's made you. It's turned you on in a. I'm having burpees. You what?

[B]

I'm like I'm. I'm going to a heated rivalry Taylor Swift class. I went to a heated rivalry class. Like it sold out. This Taylor Swift heated rivalry soul cycle sold out in under two minutes because I was in the air trying to sign up and like it.

[A]

What's the premise? What's the. What is it? The music is from both.

[B]

Yeah, it's all music. Yeah. So like I had a flight Thursday night and Thursday like hours before my flight, I went to a heated rivalry challengers ride and they just play horny music and you ride to the theme and our teacher is really good. But I am so impressed. Acting wise, it is like insane. The adaptation. Like I can go on and on about the wardrobe, like the acting, the moments, the little face. Like everything is insanely so, like good. But it is the sexiest thing I've ever Seen. I can't stop watching. I've not watched anything else. You know, I can't. I put on something else and I can't because I just want my boys back. Like, I just want to watch.

[A]

I watched episode and last night I had moments where I was like, I don't think I should be here. It felt like a dad.

[B]

No, you got to watch it all. You have to watch it all. I think it's going to help cuz I don't think I'd anyone that hasn't watched it. Like right now. Like, that's my. Yeah, cuz. And I've had this with my Netflix special, my half hour Degenerates. I do this big C joke about Women. It's from 2018, but I've met women that go, I don't men, I make them watch it and if they don't laugh, I don't them. And that makes me feel really good because, yeah, it's like, if you don't.

[A]

Like that you're the person you're. You better laugh at my jokes. You do not. If you shall not come this way or you shall not come, pass the.

[B]

Lease and you shall come forever.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Oh, people break up after my shows. Like, men will get so upset watching me sometimes. And once I was in csl the next year, a girl came up to me and she goes after the show. Me and my boyfriend got into a huge fight and I broke up with him because he hated you so much. Like, if you don't like me, that means you have an issue with women at the end of the day. Like, it is what it is. And so that's how I feel with heated rivalry. Like, to make consent. The way he fucks is like, I just. I don't. I canceled my porn subscriptions. Like, I don't. My porn doesn't work for me anymore. Like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

[A]

Let me interrupt you for a second, please.

[B]

You can interrupt me as much as you. I already bought the crop top.

[A]

I. I watched. I was like, oh, my God. This is a lot. Like, it's episode one, but it's really not. Well, this is the one thing I thought about as far as the consent's concerned. I was wondering. They had a moment where they're like looking each other up and down and it's animalistic. You could tell in this first episode where they're like. They're like, we are about to, you know, ravage each other. They have the shower scene.

[B]

Well, that's not exactly it. Because one is really nervous about it and one is kind of. Yeah, but they have come.

[A]

You know, it's flirty. I'm not saying it's like mean. I'm just saying like there's like a.

[B]

No, you said animal. They're attracted to each other, but they're not. It's not because if. Because if they were both that horned, they would have done it in the showers. Like he was nervous.

[A]

Well, that's.

[B]

Shane is nervous.

[A]

There's also a forbidden fruit aspect to it. They're in a world that doesn't allow for it. They're in a world they haven't come out to their families. They have like. They have different circumstances but very similar like feelings towards their parents.

[B]

You could tell that's what's so hot about Ilia. He's so self assured and you'll learn more and more about him. But like I just love the confidence in everything he does. Whether it's women got like on the. There's just something about it that is like so hot. But I mean every. I also love that.

[A]

Would it be the same if it was a male? Like could you do male?

[B]

No. And I'll tell you everything because I was like.

[A]

Would be dangerous. Male. Female. And then the male. Male. You go. I was kind of like, oh, it's. That was the interesting part. I had kind of rolling around in my head. Them.

[B]

Jared, let me talk. I can't stop. Okay, so no, you're totally right because the point. Because that's the kind of set like I'm into that. I like power play in that way of like being less. I think a lot of women do, but I think sometimes especially younger I'd have sex and I'd be getting like hit and I'm like, what's going on? Like I don't like. You know, it's like the check ins are really hot. So it's like it's this aggressive sex or like dominating but very tender and like communicative, which I think is cool. Where it's like you want to be dominated and kind of treated like a hole or a piece of meat. But then you are your pleasure and your boundaries and what you're into is being listened to. And I feel that's what's hard about my porn. I can't watch anymore because it's like the degradation is like weird and men don't really respect women. That's like a thing. I think that's why women like watching this. But what's also cool, this was a man woman, they wouldn't both be rich. Like that's what's cool about this. They're both rich as they're the number one and two draft pick. You're gonna see their whole careers like they're the stars of hockey. And so when they go to each other's giant houses, it's not like I'm rich and you're a little poor boy.

[A]

I, I didn't get to the houses.

[B]

Really hot too.

[A]

Yeah. I mean the one versus they're in the penthouses. They're both, they're good.

[B]

So that. And men don't really often respect women in that way so. Or as people at all. And so I think that's what's hot. Where it's like you're degraded. But then there's this still like, oh I'll see you on the ice. Like we're about to one of us is going to win a Stanley cup this year.

[A]

There's an exchange of fire. The power goes back and forth. It doesn't just go one sided. I think that's probably because you even see when he sucks his dick and then the guy goes what the fuck? And then he goes, I'm not gonna leave you there hanging. And like there's a respect in that. And I, that's what the. I just. There's a point with the dick sucking where I was like, I, I, we have gone to like I, I should be wearing.

[B]

I've watched it four times a day. I watched that dick stuff Hornet.

[A]

Men were into like women on women. I didn't know that women would be.

[B]

In the same lesbians do. Lesbians have historically loved gay male porn. Really? I, yeah, I'm new to this erotica space in the smut. Like that's been popular. I'm new, I'm late to the party. But the books have been out for a long time and straight women love it because it is like it's also meant it's made for women. It's the women, gays and like we don't get that sexually ever sex scenes are for men. Everything is for men. It's written for men. It's directed by a man. Like it. There's so much of that. So this, I mean the gay man who adapted it, wrote, directed it. Exact lines from the book. Like there's a lot like I don't.

[A]

Think you can tell a game people.

[B]

Have ever liked an adaptation.

[A]

You could tell a gay man made the show. Like, I mean like just the writer.

[B]

Followed me this the woman of the Book. The writer of the books followed me and I felt really. This week. Yeah, this week I don't. She's writing the third book. But so straight women like it. But I think like straight men have been such a disappointment that like. And sex has been so bad for so many women for so long. Like, that's like a tired kind of subject. And just feeling respected and trapped. Like all everything that's happening in the world. It's just so nice to see this. And the girls gotta eat. Girls. I watched that, their clip and they said they read something where it was like, there's also like, you're not being strung along because it's years. You know, this is like a 10 year story that you're gonna watch. And it's like, you know, you're not watching a woman be disrespected. Well, that's like part of the rumor.

[A]

Being disrespected is that it's not moving on if it's a ten year saga. As you're, as you're saying, like two men who are.

[B]

There's so much. It's the family.

[A]

But that's my point is like part of the disrespect is like maybe a woman wanting growth from the relationship. You know, there's growth in this, but also they have to keep. I don't know. I need to watch more. You've motivated me to watch more is watch more.

[B]

Watch them all. You just have to watch them all.

[A]

Yeah, I got to watch it. I.

[B]

Because they fall in love. I mean, they fall deep in love. And it is beautiful. There's like a scene there in Boss. There's like. I don't know. They're both incredible actors. But Connor, who plays the Russian, like, I've been. I've. I haven't been moved by an acting performance like that in a really long time. And he learned Russian. He has a four or five minute emotional monologue in all in full Russian. Like, he learned Russian. That the vibe, the wardrobe. He's from Texas and had like three weeks to prepare.

[A]

Oh, I thought he got the part.

[B]

A days before he is from Texas.

[A]

Okay, let's change gears for a second because I'll watch more, I promise you, as a friend. No, I'm happy. I'm happy I started it because I did want to understand what's going on here. And there was scenes in the first.

[B]

And it's positive reinforcement. It's like the comic. There's just so much. But outside the sex, the Russian, the acting is insane. How much they like Even Shane, like, the anticipation of someone coming over for a first hookup or like after they leave the excitement or like the like, oh, my God, what just happened? Like, I think they. They really show tiny emotions in such a beautiful way. But also knowing that this motherfucker learned Russian that well, that no actor's ever been able to do that I've ever seen on TV or film is like really cool everyone and they're hot there, so. Because then other people debase it. Like, it's just smart. It's just smart. I'm like, do you know how hard it is to be that fudgeing hot and do all that. That sexy? Like, it's nuts.

[A]

They also have to be good looking to be the athletes. Like, exactly. You know, like, they have to be in shape. Like that kind of like works into it. All right. I sent you.

[B]

They said that's. That was the hardest part is being like jocks to them. Like the fucking and emotional stuff in Russian. He's like, that was easier than I said. Skating and being like a jock. Yeah.

[A]

Let's do a quick game.

[B]

I'm so glad you're watching and I'm so glad you're going to listen.

[A]

You've reinforced me text as a man.

[B]

After all.

[A]

I'm happy to know I'm part of the movement. I'm a true feminist. All right, so I sent you a menu. Okay. This game people really liked. I did it with Gabriel.

[B]

I know. I was so confused.

[A]

I did it with Gabriel and I sent him a menu for Hillstone and I asked him what he would order because I think this is the best way to learn about somebody.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I sent you the appetizers menu for Applebee's. I have matched a menu to a person I would want to go to the place with. I want you to tell me the three appetizers we would share at Applebee's.

[B]

And we're not going to pick the platters, right? Or the trios.

[A]

You can do what I'm just telling you. Get three. I actually that you listen.

[B]

I.

[A]

If that's the direction you want to go, that says a lot about you. But I'm not gonna tell give you direction here.

[B]

Okay, cool. I'm loving.

[A]

Okay, so let me read the menu while you are browsing it because this is just off hot off the press. Classic bone in wings. New ultimate trio, which includes freckles, boneless wings, and it looks like a kind of a quesadilla type of action. New crispy pickle fries, boneless Wings, brewpub pretzels, the classic combo, which has pretty much everything on it. Mozzarella sticks, spinach and artichoke dips. Brew pub loaded. Waffle fries. Chicken quesadilla, chicken wonton tacos, white queso dip and chips. Neighborhood nachos, Crunchy onion rings. Breadsticks with. I think it says Alfredo sauce.

[B]

Alfredo.

[A]

I mean, that's crazy. Soup and a side salad. So that is the appetizer's menu. Three items. Feel free to go.

[B]

Yeah. What's crazy, what's hard for this is so many of them overlap because, like, you're not gonna get the pub pretzel and the cheesy bites and mozzarella sticks. So it's only one. And then there's queso and nachos and a spinach dip. It's like, it. You're not going to get the spinach dip and queso. This is why they're really making it.

[A]

This is why we're friends. I don't think they've made it hard. You're getting. It's like watching someone do the wordle. I'm like, you're almost there. You're nailing it.

[B]

But I want a spinach artichoke dip, so I know I want that. Like, if I'm going to Applebee's. If I'm going to. I want a spinach artichoke dip for sure.

[A]

Even the picture. And then she makes it look good. It looks like they took a flame and, you know, crusted the top. I love that they put it in the oven. The spinach and artichoke dip. Yep. That's. I'm. I'm with you.

[B]

And then I. This is going to be controversial. Sorry. But I like boneless wings, and I would get boneless wings.

[A]

You made the correct answer. Tough to go. Boneless at Applebee's is the answer. Bone in at Applebee's is the incorrect answer.

[B]

Oh, my God. This is happening. Oh, my God.

[A]

The third one, it's going to be tough because there's a lot of options at all could be correct. But you made the two choices that I would make. The third, what do you got.

[B]

For fun? I would try the new pickle fries because it's new and I. Yeah, I think I would get the pickle fries. I can get. I like the mott sticks at the Cellar. I don't need them here. I don't need extra brew pub pretzels and cheese, even though I love that, because I'm going to get. We're going to get a Entrees, too. So I would try the pickle fries.

[A]

You have never been more right. And this is why we're friends. This is why we're close.

[B]

No, you're one of my great ordering friends. I still think about our meal in Boston. We had. I don't even remember where what? But we had one show. We stayed at a cool boutique, weird hotel, and we had, like, this dinner where I go, yeah, poor family. This is great. We know how to order meet. You and Libby have to go to dinner. That's, like, our one downfall. The three of us have never hung out.

[A]

I know. We do need to hang out also. Maybe our families were in the same Russian village. Maybe that, like, do you ever think about that? Yeah. You ever think about, like, I feel.

[B]

Cousin energy with you. I've always felt very connected to you.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

So maybe.

[A]

But you're here on this episode of.

[B]

The we had one dinner. And I go, well, it's also, like, the thing of this. I think it was the dinner where the server's like, that's a lot of food. And we're like, yeah, we got it.

[A]

Yeah, we get what's happening here, and.

[B]

We'Re okay with it.

[A]

I think you've just made us not like you.

[B]

Oh, but. Oh, my God, Jared. That trip, though, or was it a different trip? We were at a bar, and there was a hockey team there after a game trying to get fucked, and all these hot girls trying to fuck the hockey team with, like, no teeth. And I think about that all the time.

[A]

And you're thinking about it even more now that he did. Rivalry's out. Everyone go follow Lisa Traegers. She's got to go. Everyone go to her Somerville show in Boston and then go to her Gramercy show in New York. It is on my birthday. The worst day of the year. February 21st. That is.

[B]

But why do you think that we.

[A]

There's a long running you up podcast joke, Jordana. Literally, we, years ago, we were taping remote, and we were getting ahead, and we were like, February 21st. And she goes, yeah, that must be, like, the worst day of the year. There's nothing to look forward to. There's nothing like that. You know, you're coming and it's freezing. She was, like, going on and on and on, and I was like, that's my birthday. And now it's like, the joke is that it's the worst day of the year. Like, I mean, I like my birthday. I'm okay with my birthday. I do understand the reasons it would be, like, a tough day. That's why your show is a good day to have it. There's nothing else to do. There's no. There's no holiday two weeks after or two weeks before. So why don't we make Lisa Trager's show the holiday Gramercy Theater? Go buy your tickets.

[B]

This might be Chicago of me, but I fucking love St. Patrick's Day. I always look forward to St. Patrick's Day.

[A]

We'll begin with, I'm flying and drinking more. And we end with, my favorite holiday is St. Patrick's Day.

[B]

Not favorite, but I love it. I have, like, a. Like, I always. I'm never not wearing green and going out. Like, I go out on St. Patrick's Day.

[A]

You know, Delray.

[B]

I love an Irish pub.

[A]

Delray beach has, like, one of the bigger St. Patrick's Day parades. Like, it's a big thing here.

[B]

Wait, are you fucking kidding?

[A]

I swear, you should come down for it. You should.

[B]

That's exactly what I should do.

[A]

And also, the beach is, like. It's, like, one of the best weather times of the year here, too. It's, like, getting hot. It's, like, a really good time to be here. Okay. All right. Back next week.

[B]

Boom.