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It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there. I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag Monday. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is Jay Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Monday is a ma Mailbag Monday, where you, the listener, email me the comedian, your advice questions. If you have a question, send it to jtrain podcast gmail.com. that's j train podcastmail.com. anything you're going through, I would love to help you through it. Help. I mean, I hope I help. I don't, I, I sit here. I, I don't. End mailbag Monday. Pat myself on the back and go, jared, you really help some people today. No, this is meant to be entertaining. This is supposed to be fun. If help is the result of that, I'm proud. I feel good about that when I hear from people, hey, you helped me through a tough time. That's amazing. But this is fun and games. But what makes it fun is real problems. We want your real issues. Family stuff, relationships. Just. I like bringing up weddings and, you know, bachelor and bachelorette parties. Kids stuff. Yeah. Wouldn't you want to hear the honest opinion of a single man with no kids about your kids? That's fun. Mom stuff. I love being on Mom Talk. We just had a pop culture Thursday discuss the Ashley Tisdale drama, and to me, that was juicy. Ooh, I could drink that for lunch every day as I sip my empty coffee. So I have three emails in front of me. J train podcast, gmail.com. if you're out there, I would love for you to come to a show. I just came back from Philly and Baltimore, had a blast. Sold out shows, so much fun. It is such a stress free thing when the show's been sold well and I'm walking into a fun situation. If you're listening now, I have a big run coming up that will be physically taxing. I go Tampa Bay. So Tampa has been asking for shows for years. They kept maybe happening and then not happening because the theater wasn't working out. Then I was like, maybe I'll do a club. We are at the Tampa theater. So come, come, come, Tampa. If you know someone in the area, let them know. It's a big theater. I took a chance, would love to have you. Then I go to Atlanta, Georgia, Hotlanta. It's been, these are places. It's been a minute since I've been to Atlanta. I love Atlanta. I am an Atlanta Fan. I love the area. The people come. That's a Buckhead Theater, Charleston. I'm gonna be. I don't know the name of the theater off the top, but I'm doing a meet and greet. Fun, happy, fun time at Uptown Social during the day on Saturday. Then the show is Saturday night in Charleston, South Carolina. Come, come assemble the group chat. Then I go to Beach Mountain, North Carolina. I'm unfamiliar with Beach Mountain, North Carolina. They, you know, sometimes these. Your agent comes to you and says, hey, they got a room there and they're offering you this deal. And I was like, hey, it's a Sunday. Why not? So they. Some of these bookings aren't special. Hey, want to go to Atlanta? I love Atlanta. I love the Claremont Lounge. I love hanging out. I love the people. Want to go to Beach Mountain, North Carolina. Where's that? It's really far from everything. Okay. But they're, you know, they're offering some pretty. A minimum, that's. That a dollar amount that, you know, could be a nice addition to an already big weekend. Okay. Like, I hope that doesn't sound bad, but that's kind of like that's a business decision. But listen, I might come to Beech Mountain, North Carolina, and be so enchanted that I move my whole life there and buy a place and live in a log cabin and sip my tea on top of the mountain with a little swirly smokestack coming out of the chimney. Who knows? Maybe I fall in love. Or at a minimum, it'll be a great show. Boston, Massachusetts, we've added a second show. That means the first one sold out. No, you can't get tickets to the first one. Come to the late one. Just get the tickets now. Stop making me worry about this. I don't want to have to go on kiss108 and beg people to come. Just get the tickets. New York, we've added a second show. So New York, second show. Toronto, we got like 50 tickets left. I don't think I'm adding a second second show. Vancouver, it is light in Koovetown. We need people to start buying those tickets. I know, I know, I know. It's far away. Seattle, almost sold out. We're almost there. And Tempe, I'm adding more. I think I heard that Salt Lake is coming. Please don't message me. When is it coming? I don't hide links. I don't hide tickets. I got three emails in front of me. I love this first one. It is different than what we usually have. Jared, I want to bet on the super bowl and I don't know what to do to keep it light and casual. Let me just say sometimes we're sponsored by betting apps. We are not today. So this is not like a sponsored content moment. Jared I want to bet on the Super Bowl. It also comes from a Patreon subscriber. V always lets me know when the Patreon subscribers send a message. So I, I have all trust of this. I want to bet on the super bowl and I don't know what. I don't know what to do to keep it light and casual. I want to bet on my Seahawks, but I. But I like following specific players in the league, too. Is there a way you bet online to not get too emotionally invested in the outcome and have it just be a fun experience? What strategies would you recommend? Well, only bet what you're willing to lose. That's rule number one with gambling. Only bet what feels comfortable leaving your pocket. Because let's just live in a world where these casinos and these betting apps exist because they make money, because you lose money. That's the whole deal. So let's, let's sit in reality of you're not pro, you're probably not going to win. You're probably going to, but you want the good time that comes with it. You are buying the adventure, the fun. You say you're a Seahawks fan. This is coming out on the 19th, which is the day after the second round of the NFL playoffs. You have just played your first game. If the Seahawks have won, I'm putting on a bet right. I'm putting a bet in right now because your odds are going to be pretty good since there's now probably four teams left. So this is like the weekend before the semifinals, so to speak. So the odds go up the more teams that are involved, even though the Seattle Seahawks will be a favorite. So your odds won't be as good as another team because you're the number one seed. I think the Seahawks are a great bet right now. Also, they're in a part of the country that's not as loud, so their odds are generally like in your favor. They're not what they call a public team. A public team is the team that Joe Loser Idiot would bet on. Your your friend who says that he loves sports loudly is called the public. A sharp is called someone who's a pro gambler. So I would not consider the Seattle Seahawks a public team, which means your odds are even that much better for you. So I hope this is all making sense. I'm trying to explain along the way. So. But this is all to say, how do I keep it light and casual? It only gets dark and serious when you put your rent money on the game. That's the difference between light and casual and dark and serious. When you start saying, if the, if the Seahawks don't win, I don't know if I can look my husband in the face again, that's when it's gotten dark and serious. Light and casual is. It's five bucks, but I would love to win ten bucks, you know, So I think light and casual and how much investment goes into it is all based on how much money you're putting in. How much money you put in is not my business. I don't count the money in other people's wallet. $10 to you might be. Might mean something different than $10 to me. So I would keep, I would bet what I'm willing to lose. That's rule number one. I would put a bet on the Seattle Seahawks to win the super bowl. Right now. I would put a bet when you come. When you're talking about individual players, I would find my favorite players if they're receivers. First touchdown score. There's something called an anytime touchdown, and then there's a first touchdown scored. First touchdown scored is they score the first touchdown of the game. That's a way more difficult thing to bet on that to win than any time score. I think anytime score would keep it light and casual and also keep you in the game the whole time. So I would find my favorite players, which I'm assuming are offensive players. Receiver. Why running back? I would bet anytime touchdowns individually. Did sometimes they group them together. Do it individually. Anytime touchdown. I would do that before the game. I'd do it right now. Why not? And that gives you fun. Because it's better odds because it's a much more difficult bet to win. So when you choose, I mean, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm blanking on a name. But if you choose so and so to be anytime touchdown, now the whole game, you get to say, oh, my God, even if it's a blowout, you're still cheering on that player to win. I think that's fun and casual. I would also bet on. And the hard part about these betting websites, these apps, is some of these bets are hard to find. So I would find someone to help you kind of dig. You have to, like, dig into the app. So you go to like NFL General and then you go to super bowl bets or you go to like game bets. You can find these. It's. It's just, I'm saying as a gambler, they haven't made it easy to find these fun different bets. I would also try and find, if I was to find one bet, safety, bet on there being a safety during the game, either for your team or their team or both teams. Whatever you can find for a safety, that's a fun one because it's like just a shot in the dark and it's high odds you, you'll get paid more for that than you would any other bet that there will be a safety during the game. So I, those are the bets I would do as casual fun. Why would you do this? And, and the other thing I would say over the years of my life, if I'm to give myself credit, I'm a professional game watcher in enemy territory. What do I mean by that? I am really good at watching a football game and watching a team I'm cheering for in a bar full of people cheering for the other team. I'm not looking to root at the tv. I'm not looking to start a fight. I don't want a rivalry with one asshole at the end of the bar where I'm clapping extra loud just so they hear it. Keep your fandom to yourself and do a little. I do a little nudge to the person that's on my side and there we go. I do it like a head nod. It's our fun little thing. But I'm not looking to get into a debate with someone who is irrational because the team that's playing happened to be their dad's favorite team and their dad showed them the team and they have all these emotional connections to it. You're not going to win the argument. They. There's no argument to be had. The team mentality is. It's stupidity. Colin Cowherd always says this. He's a sports radio guy. Fan is the is is a derivative of fanatic. So remember that fanatic is a crazy person. A fan is, oh, we're just fans. So the minute you go from fan to fanatic is the minute you've kind of lost the narrative. So that's my advice to keeping it chill and cool. No one is going to go, oh, you bet on the game. Okay. I don't care that my grandpappy taught me about the bills. Like sports fans are idiots because it's all emotion. I mean, my brother works with the Chicago Bears. He is a Bears guy. He is on the staff. He's on the coaching staff. He's on the headset during the games. I'm proud of him. I'm so excited for the game this weekend, and I can't. I hope they win. I'm so. I'm so in. Involved in every game because of him. It's blood. People will ask me, so what do you, you know, do you like the Patriots still? Of course I like the Patriots. I grew up in New England. I like the Patriots. I have a lot of fond memories. My. The Brady era, the Belichick Brady era is a part of my life. I enjoyed it. I take lessons from it. I've. I've turned it into Shakespeare in my mind now. The minute my brother got involved with the team. Goodbye. That's okay. I don't. I don't wish against the Patriots, but if it was Patriots versus Bears, the idea that anyone would be surprised that I would cheer for the Bears, I would say to that person, seek therapy. You. You think it's an actual difficult decision for me to cheer for the Bears in a hypothetical game against the Patriots, The Patriots? Because I grew up in an area outside of Boston that happened to cheer for the Patriots, I would choose that over my brother, whose livelihood depends on the Bears winning or losing. Are you out of your mind? You're defending that stance. Where, How? In what world? I would say you need therapy. You have an actual issue. You can't put yourself in my shoes. This is. I mean, this relates to politics. You want to. You want to really make this a different conversation. You can't put yourself in the other person's shoes to see why they would take the straight line from where they sit to where they're trying to go. You can't do that. If you can't do that, you've lost it. You're not having fun here. If you can't empathize with the position that I'm in as a person whose brother is on the coaching staff for the Bears, you're crazy. You're actually a crazy person. And if you're as crazy about politics as you are with your team, go seek therapy. You're the problem. You are the problem. Jtrain podcastmail.com Jtrain podcast gmail.com you might have not seen that email going in that direction. That's why we do the emails. That's why we play the games. We have one sponsor, not a gambling sponsor. So, you know, all of that is stuff that you. You know, this was a real question. We didn't just invent a question. Hero bread. Listen, the year 2026 is here. We're done with Happy New Year. It is officially like, we're in. We're in it. You're in it. It's January 19th. It's actually my brother's birthday. Happy birthday, Harry. You want to be healthier? You still like to eat food? I think hero bread is like the perfect remedy to your problem. You want to be in shape, but you want to eat delicious things. Hero bread's delicious. It tastes just like any bread. I mean, for me to say that, maybe that's a mistake. I don't want to say it tastes like any bread. It is delicious bread that also happens to be high in fiber, low in calories. Does that interest you? I'm going to show you two breads. One is high in fiber, keeps you fuller, longer, has lower calories. The other one, higher calories, no fiber. You'll want more the minute you eat. Get done with it. Which one do you want? Easy decision. Keep it in the freezer. I do. I make it. I toast it up with my eggs. It's delicious. If you're trying to eat healthy this new year, try Hero bread. Hero makes sliced bread, bagels, dinner rolls and more. The bagels are great. I actually love the bagels. Be careful cutting them. I had an issue. High in fiber, low net carbs, zero grams of sugar. You'd never know it's low net carb, high fiber. From the texture, I can attest to that. It's soft and fluffy. They also have tortillas, croissants, buttermilk biscuits. Here. Here also has noodles. So like I love. They're basically creating a brand that I would invest in because I love the idea of getting to have the noodles but not feeling as emotionally distraught from it. This year, hit your goals without giving up your favorite bready dishes. Herobred is offering 10, 10, 10% off your order. Go to Hero Co. Use code feather at checkout. That's code featherhero Co. We have two more emails. J Train, Feather, Feather. Tell me if I'm being unreasonable or if this is just adulthood trying to ruin my weekends. Hi, I'm a 25 year old woman. Thank you for get involved with the show. I, you know, when I hear people that are, you know, different than me listening and being involved in the show, it makes me so happy. A 25 year old woman. I hope I can help you and steer you in directions that I didn't take because, or, you know, or at least have fun with whatever you're going through. I'm a 25 year old woman with a 25 year old boyfriend. We've been together since college, moved in together, now, have a dog. So we're basically married in Internet years. Yeah, I would say basically there. We recently moved back to our college town, which means my boyfriend has happily reconnected with his old college friends. I'm genuinely glad he has. He has them and fully encouraged him to hang out with me. Hold on. I'm genuinely glad he has them and fully encourage him to hang out without me. The issue is that there now seems to be an expectation that I'll also attend and bond with the girlfriends. Ooh, this is tough. This happens. Male, female, whatever. Yeah, they're all nice, but I don't feel excited to spend my limited free time making small talk with people I only only know because our boyfriends once blacked out together. That's tough. That paragraph, I feel you like. And here's the thing about that paragraph something, the words really matter. If you don't feel his friendships with them are serious, then you don't want to take the girlfriend serious. This happens with me when I introduce a new girlfriend to my friends. They're kind of like, is she gonna be around? Is this someone we're like, gonna have to deal with? Like, how much energy do I have to give to this person? Like, and that's more a distrust of me. Jared, we've been through this. We've done this. Do we have to, like, we don't want to get attached. We don't want to exchange numbers. I don't want to follow on Instagram. Now I'm following this chick for the rest of my life. I have that. This is so from your angle, it's like, dude, you, you, you blacked out with this guy. Your relationship seems flimsy at best. Do I really have to, like, now engage with this girlfriend in a way that's serious? And especially because female friendships are just generally very different than male friendships. Male friendships. This guy that he's buddies with because they, you know, did a keg stand together, they could go on forever with no, no stress, you understand? And what you're wary of. And I would, I would, I would say, I would understand why you're wary of this. You're wary of making friends with this woman, having to be in her whatever, mom, group help, you know, you become part of the coven. You become part of the, you know, the tribe. He, them and this guy, they go sports, Seahawks. What'd you bet on? You and her. It's like, yeah, I Went to the doctor today and you know, they said I'm going to have to take magnesium. Like your conversations just generally are different and more depthy. I, I will give full credit to that. So you write between work stress, a recent move, the holidays and general burnout, my social battery is low. I hear you. It's hard enough to see my own friends or make it to the yoga class I already pay for, so committing a Friday night to forced fun feels like too much. I've declined most invites and tell my boyfriend to go without me, but my absence has been noticed. I would understand that and I can tell he wishes I had come and be chill. What's confusing is that this pressure doesn't exist with my own friends. They all have boyfriends but no one expects they all have boyfriends but no one expects constant double dates. So in a long term relationship, how often do you have to show face before you earn the right to opt out? What's the socially acceptable ratio of I'll come to please don't make me. Thanks. Not antisocial, just selective. I hear you. It's tough. You probably don't feel the pressure with your friends. I don't know. I don't have an answer for that. It probably is somewhere in the explanation I just gave to the male friendship, female friendship. I'm, I'm sure there's like the other side of that which I, I, I just believe in what I just said and I, I, I also like, I think like yeah, the why is the male friendships. Why do they need? Well probably because you're like hey, go hang out alone. Maybe these women who are with their, these guys in a college town are like we're looking for friends. It may be that, well that's the answer because you, you've been together since college and you now we've moved back to our college town. Maybe these girlfriends are from another town and they're looking for a new crew and they are actually looking to go with their boyfriend and meet the girlfriends and that's why you're no, your absence is noticed. I, you know, you don't want to be the curmudgeon. You also don't want to like not respect your own time. Here's my advice. I think it's also because you're 25. 25 is big groups roaming, it's parade floats. You seem very mature, especially based on how you wrote your email. Your boyfriend's still hanging out with the guy you blacked out with, so maybe he's a little behind you. I Think you need to talk with your boyfriend. I would even show him this email. This is so well written, and it kind of gives your vibe. I, I, I, this is this. Maybe have him listen to this podcast. What a great way to, you know, help your Uncle Jay train out. But I would say let's. I would say you need you. I think you need to let him know you want to be more local than national. If I were you, I would be okay with a hangout that was, like, with a guy that he's really close with. Again, you don't want to be with the grand party where you have to, like, kind of dance around this group of 10 people and then meet these new girlfriends. And that's socially exhausting. It is less socially exhausting to, hey, let's go out with my really close friend and his girlfriend who's new to the area. I think that's a different invite to you. And then maybe you two work out. Maybe you two find a connection. But now you are okay spending the time because it's actually a friend is. And it's not, you know, Bruno Joe, who just gets blacked out. I think you need a little more. It's like being fixed up. Hey, do you want to meet my friend? Not really. Is very different than, hey, I was just talking to my friend, and they're, like, single, and they said a few things that made me think of you specifically. They were talking about their trip and how much they hated it, and they complained about it in the way that I felt like I was talking with you, and I really think you two would get along. And here's a picture. And that's a totally different thing than, hey, meet my friend. Hey, my friend's beautiful. They're single. Do you want to meet them? Everyone thinks their friend's beautiful. Yeah. I don't know. Hey, I was thinking about you. My friend was talking about this, like, really crazy dating story they went on, and I felt like I was listening to you. And here's a few pictures of them. And, yeah, I hang out with them, and I really like them because they do this, this and that, and see, that's like, a person I want to meet. So I think your boyfriend, you have to, like, kind of coach him up on how to. On how to introduce you to people and keep it more local. Jtrain podcast gmail.com J train podcastmail.com Jared Patreon subscriber here. We love a Patreon subscriber. You get the coffee with J Train every Friday, which is my diary if you go listen now, you're going to hear, I mean, for. You'll hear last week's, which I haven't taped yet, but you'll hear two weeks ago. I've been talking about the GLP1s. If that's something that interests you, you want to hear about that journey. It is also something I talk about on stage. The way I'm talking about on stage is behind where I am, because I'm. I'm taking them. If I'm. To be honest, I'm talking. And I think the, the, I think the narrative on GLP1s is so bad right now. And I'm trying to talk about it in an honest way. And I. So I do a little bit of that on Coffee with J Train. I'm also talking about it on stage, about being offered it from my dad. So, yeah, I mean, sometimes people, I get afraid talking about. Because, like, on stage, I'm talking about being offered it by my dad and my real anger about that. And when I know if you're listening now, I trust that you're. You would come to a show and be great. But, like, people yell out, well, did you take it? And it's like, well, let me do the act. Like, yeah, that's like the story I'm telling. So, like, I, I don't know. I'm getting annoyed at someone who doesn't exist. I'm sorry. Yelling, did you take it? Is like, I think that's offensive. I think that's offensive based on, I don't know, Coffee. J Train is my favorite podcast to do, not to besmirch this one. I like doing this one, but it is basically my diary, so you can. The link is in the bio. Go sign up. Five bucks a month. All right, Patreon subscriber. Thank you so much for fresh epis during the holiday. Yeah, listen, I bring it. I don't fuck around. I'm 41, female, getting divorced, moving to a bigger city, starting a new job, and I've never really had a date. Wow. Let me just say congratulations. What a tough thing to do. That sentence is some people's whole lives. You just did a whole lifetime in one sentence. 41, female, getting divorced, moving to a bigger city, starting a new job. I've never really had to date. Well, welcome to the new part of life. You. I, I, congratulations. And I, I just, I think it's commendable. And I'm saying that you might take that as, like, I don't want to be congratulated for just pushing on into my life. But everything you did was difficult. You say, how do I navigate dating when I'm not looking for anything serious? Is that a turn on or turn off for a guy? A woman saying she's not looking for anything serious is like you cutting, taking a knife to your palm, smearing around a bunch of blood and then jumping into an ocean full of sharks. I wouldn't cut. I just. That is my warning to you not to scare you. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm just saying you right now, never really having dated. What you just said out loud. Men in a Tommy Bahama shirt just turned like lemurs on the Sahara. Like they heard woman looking for nothing serious. What did I. A woman wants to blow me with no commitment. You. I'm not saying it's all bad, but this is me saying beware of dogs because let's. Being new to dating doesn't mean you're new to life. So let's not be stupid. Okay? I am telling you, you say, I'd like to make out, have fun, but I don't want to move anything forward or have to worry about someone else right now. I think that's totally normal and reasonable. You're just going to find that that amount of reason is not what's out there from men. I'm just. I'm saying it as a man. You are going to come across a lot of speed bumps if you're not careful. Is that how people date? I'm so clueless. Thanks for all you do. First, my first advice to you. Stop saying I'm so clueless. Stop it. You're not an idiot. You're college educated probably. You were married and divorced. You got through that. You're moving to a bigger city. You. You called up a moving truck and you moved your. You are smart enough to date. You are not stupid. Stop playing stupid. It's not cute. I actually find that not cute. You're not stupid. You. All of your internal senses are there, you know. So that's my first piece of advice. You're not new to earth. You're new to dating. So if you think it's weird. It is weird. It's not dating today. Oh, well, dating today. I'm just looking for casual. Does anyone want to make out in a bar? That's not what they hear. The men that you hear that, hey, I'm not looking for casual. No. If you went to a bar, hey, I'm not looking for commitment. Does anyone want to make out? That's not what the Men here, they hear, I'll fuck you. They're not hearing, make out fun. Let me buy you a drink. Because that's what you want. You want. You want to meet someone. They say, hey, Tuesday night at 8, come meet me at this fabulous martini bar. And then you want to exchange some stories, have some laughs. He touches your leg, you touch his leg. He brings you in, you have a soft kiss that turns into a more passionate kiss. You two go home, you say, maybe I shouldn't, I don't know. He says, don't worry about it. We'll go for dinner this week. And then you guys have another great kiss and you go home and you go flick your bean to that. That's what you want and you deserve it. You have to understand that it's not as easy as I just explained. You're going to run into wolves out in these woods. So I think what I just explained is what you deserve and what I'm assuming you want. If you did go back to the place and fuck that random dude that I just invented, I wouldn't fault you for it, but it's because you felt really comfortable and it's something you wanted to do. So if the scenario I just explained, that's probably the most helpful thing I can do because I can't tell you how to feel. But the most helpful thing I can do is the scenario I just explained that is, I think, a minimum of what you should deserve. The made a plan, had great conversation, had a laugh, touched your leg, made out at a bar. If that's not happening, if it's below that, feel free to cut bait. I would get out of that because saying I am looking for casual, I don't think you need to say that. I think that's my other piece of advice. I'm looking for the right connection. Now, that's your little secret. The right connection to you is something where you're not responsible for it. That's fine, you can get to that. But I wouldn't start with that. I would start with, I'm just looking to meet someone great. I'm looking to make meet someone who will make a plan and touch my leg in a martini bar consensually. So I hope you hear my words. I hope you kind of take I to me. The advice I just gave is maybe the best dating advice anyone 41, getting divorced, moving to a bigger city, starting a new job, never really dated, could ever receive. Because what's going to happen if you say, hey, I'm looking for casual? You're going to get too much, and it's going to be a lot of garbage to sift through to try and get to that diamond in the rough. So you need to keep numbers low because they're already going to be pretty. There's going to be a lot of people coming after you because you're new on the scene. Do not say I'm looking for casual. You don't have to say you're looking for serious, just so say you're looking for casual. Start dating like a dude. I'm just looking to meet someone and see if it's the right connection. That's it. You will find enough people. Don't think you need to widen your your drudge. You don't. Jtrain podcast gmail.com jtrain podcastmail.com we love a Mailbag Monday Back next week Follow on Instagram Boom.