I'm hooking up with my ex! Help! - MONDAY MAILBAG - The JTrain Podcast w Jared Freid - The JTrain Podcast

The JTrain Podcast: Episode Summary Episode Title: I'm Hooking Up with My Ex! Help! - MONDAY MAILBAG
Host: Jared Freid
Release Date: April 14, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of The JTrain Podcast, host Jared Freid delves into listener-submitted dilemmas, offering his unique comedic yet insightful perspectives on modern relationship challenges. Recorded live from Nashville, Tennessee, Jared addresses two primary listener emails, providing guidance on complex emotional situations involving past relationships and lingering feelings.

First Mailbag: Navigating a Complex Ex-Relationship

Listener's Dilemma: The first email, sent by Feather, presents a situation where the listener is re-engaging with an ex-partner after a significant breakup. Having dated for a year and a half, the relationship ended in October 2023. Over the past year, Feather has reestablished contact, resulting in daily texts about mundane topics and occasional physical encounters, creating a "gray area" that leaves her emotionally unsettled.

Key Points:

Re-establishing Contact: Feather reached out to her ex six months prior, leading to increased communication.
Emotional Struggle: The lack of clarity in their relationship status is causing emotional distress.
Patterns in Relationships: Feather acknowledges a tendency to gravitate towards emotionally unavailable individuals.

Notable Quotes:

Feather: “We are sitting here. It is April 11th that I tape this of 2025.”
Jared Freid ([10:30]): “You are stuck in a gray area where we're not dating, and I'm struggling emotionally because of it.”

Jared's Advice: Jared meticulously dissects Feather’s predicament, emphasizing the necessity of redefining the relationship boundaries. He advises her to:

Change Perspective: Recognize that she is not in a mutual partnership aiming towards a common goal but rather in a one-sided gray area.
Seek Clarity: Encourage a direct conversation with her ex to establish clear intentions and boundaries.
Prioritize Self-Worth: Highlight the importance of putting her needs first and avoiding compromises that leave her emotionally vulnerable.

Notable Quotes:

Jared Freid ([12:15]): “You have to decide what it is you want from this person and write down, in a perfect world, what are you?”
Jared Freid ([18:45]): “You have to trust that you have to go. That was a real feeling that there was a reason you didn't go forward.”

Jared underscores the importance of moving beyond the ex-partner’s indifference and encourages Feather to seek relationships where mutual commitment and emotional openness are foundational.

Second Mailbag: Lingering Thoughts of a Past Situationship

Listener's Dilemma: The second email comes from a longtime listener residing in NYC, reflecting on persistent thoughts about a past situationship despite being in a committed relationship. The listener shares occasional dreams and subconscious cravings for the excitement once shared, leading to confusion and a sense of unresolved emotions.

Key Points:

Recurring Thoughts: Even with a stable relationship, past casual encounters resurface in thoughts and dreams.
Lack of Closure: The absence of a defined end to the situationship contributes to lingering feelings.
Impact on Current Relationship: Concerns about how to address these thoughts without jeopardizing the present engagement.

Notable Quotes:

Listener: “I have him muted on Instagram, but I still catch myself occasionally checking his page to see what he's up to.”
Jared Freid ([25:00]): “Thinking of someone you had a past with is not crazy.”

Jared's Advice: Jared approaches this dilemma by addressing both the emotional underpinnings and practical steps to mitigate lingering feelings:

Limit Temptation: Suggests unfollowing or muting the past situationship on social media to reduce constant reminders.
Acknowledge the Past: Encourages the listener to understand that the fascination often resides in the unfulfilled potential rather than the person themselves.
Focus on the Present Relationship: Recommends redirecting energy towards enhancing the current relationship, identifying what excites and fulfills the listener within it.

Notable Quotes:

Jared Freid ([27:30]): “Unfollowing and taking away the temptation is the answer.”
Jared Freid ([30:20]): “There was a reason it wasn't making me happy. There was a reason I never pursued it.”

Jared further explores the concept of "situationships," explaining how their lack of defined boundaries often leads to idealized memories detached from the reality of the relationship's shortcomings. He emphasizes the importance of seeking closure, even if it means confronting uncomfortable truths about past relationships.

Conclusion

In this episode, Jared Freid adeptly navigates through nuanced relationship issues submitted by listeners. His blend of humor and practical advice provides a relatable framework for addressing emotional complexities in modern dating and relationships. By encouraging self-awareness and clear communication, Jared empowers his audience to seek healthier and more fulfilling interpersonal connections.

Notable Timestamped Quotes:

Jared Freid ([00:00]): “It's a mailbag Monday.”
Jared Freid ([10:30]): “You are stuck in a gray area where we're not dating, and I'm struggling emotionally because of it.”
Jared Freid ([12:15]): “You have to decide what it is you want from this person and write down, in a perfect world, what are you?”
Jared Freid ([18:45]): “You have to trust that you have to go. That was a real feeling that there was a reason you didn't go forward.”
Jared Freid ([25:00]): “Thinking of someone you had a past with is not crazy.”
Jared Freid ([27:30]): “Unfollowing and taking away the temptation is the answer.”
Jared Freid ([30:20]): “There was a reason it wasn't making me happy. There was a reason I never pursued it.”

This comprehensive summary encapsulates the episode's core discussions, providing listeners with valuable insights into handling intricate relationship dynamics.

Transcript

Jared Freed (0:00)

It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there. I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag. Monday. Hello and welcome to the J Train podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Nashville, Tennessee. That's right, every Monday is a mail bag. Monday, you, the listener, write emails to the podcast, jtrain podcastmail.com and me, the comedian, the podcaster, Jared Freed. I answer your questions. Do I have an answer? I'll have an answer. Is it the right one? It's one person's opinion. Is it going to give you perspective? Yeah. Maybe it's something your friends and family were afraid to tell you. I don't think I'm smarter than them. I just think I have the ability to not look you in the eyes. These are hard things to talk about. So I want you to send your emails. Jtrainpodcastima.com, we need emails, we need screenshots. We love thoughtful, in depth. We want details. We want relationship emails, friendship, family problems you're having. Whatever the issue is, send it in. Jtrain podcastmail.com Also, every Saturday, we are putting stand up on YouTube. So go subscribe to the YouTube channel. Also, chit chat Wednesday goes up on the YouTube channel. So you can see the guests that I'm talking to. Go, go, go. YouTube.com Eric Freed. Sign up for the YouTube channel. And the standup is there. We put it. We're putting up a clip this tomorrow or tonight. I'm taping this on a Friday. Tomorrow night there'll be a new crowd work clip. Last week there was 18 minutes from Portland, Oregon. 18 minutes all just waiting to make you laugh. And it's a fun one. There was a woman I gave tickets to who ends up heckling me, which is bonkers. So go to YouTube. Check that out. Subscribe, please. Would love that. You know, just hitting that button means so much to me and it's such a, you know, on your end, it's not that big a deal comment, share all those things. All very helpful to the show. I got two emails and I got two sponsors as far as shows are concerned. I'm coming from Nashville, but I'm like, off the road. I'm, I'm, I'm the only show we have, we me, the only show I have is the live you up podcast and it's in New York City. So go to my website, jaredfree.com it's at the end of April. We are doing a live show. So we do deal reveal. We Play Red Flag deal breaker. We do dating app makeovers. It's a fun, fun show. If you don't listen to you up, you'll have a blast. It's just a great show. It's a dating talk show. So go check that out. I got two emails and two sponsors. That's really all of the rambling I'm gonna do. If you sign up for Patreon, you can hear all about Rochester, how I helped a guy propose to his girlfriend, and a little bit about Nashville. I'll get into Nashville next week, so patreon.com jaredfried we are sponsored. Summer is coming and you'll want to take off that sweaty hat eventually. Stop trying to camouflage your hair issues and get neutrophil. 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For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering J chain J train listeners 10101010 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you go to Nutrafol.com use Prom Feather. Find out why over 4,500 health care professionals and stylists recommend Neutrophil for healthier hair. Neutrful.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code feather that's nutrafol.com promo code feather all the sponsors are in the description of the episodes. Let's go to the first email. J Train Feather Feather I've been listening to your podcast for almost a decade. Thank you. And I really appreciate the advice you offer, especially on navigating relationships and setting boundaries. I have a situation I'm hoping to get your take on. You come to the right place. I Met my ex when I was 27 and he was 36. He was going through a divorce when I met him. And he has a young son. We dated for a year and a half and broke up in October 2023. So we are sitting here. It is April 11th that I tape this of 2025. Okay, let's just take a minute. I think it's important to acknowledge the time you broke up. You did a year and a half. You gave it a shot. It didn't work out. October 2023. Now we go. We're going to go all the way to October 2024. Okay. We've now done a year. Okay. Now we're going to go through this winter. We're done with the winter. You had Thanksgiving. You cried your eyes out to your family. No, we broke up. You had to tell them the whole thing. Then you go to Christmas. You go to Hanukkah, you go to the New Year. Maybe you had a little kiss with someone random over the New Year's. Now it's January, February, it's cold, it's brutal. March. Now we're sitting in April. It's been a long time. Many seasons have changed. I think that is something that we can easily forget because October 2023. I'm with you. It feels like it's seven minutes ago. It's not. You have almost. If I. If I'm to be honest, you have. It has been the length of your relationship, since your relationship. Did that hit you? I'm just. Because I'm trying to give you a little reality check here. Because when the. Even the way you wrote it. I don't like how you wrote it. I understand why you wrote it the way you wrote it. I met my ex when I was 27. He was 36. He was going through a divorce when I met him, and he has a young son. You've already created a landscape of excuses for him. You've already said the two reasons that he gave you for why you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. I think that's interesting. Just the way you wrote it tells me a lot. And you came here for perspective. And I'm giving it to you because you're writing it in a way that isn't weird. It's just noticeable. I reached out to him about six months ago. So let's say March, April, May, June, July. Wait, I'm going the wrong direction. March, February, January. You ever do months backwards? That's hard. December. So you reached out to him basically a year after the breakup October 20th. Let's call it October. September 2024. I reached out to him about six months ago. And over the last few weeks, our commit communication has been more consistent. We text every day, but it's mostly about small things. Workouts, recipes, TV shows, traveling, et cetera. So you two are chit chatting and flirting. That's a flirt. That is someone that. It's not like you guys have established a friendship or had a talk. You're not mentioning a talk where, hey, we are friends. You're not. And hey, workouts, recipes, TV shows, traveling, et cetera. Doesn't include dating. Oh, I went on a first date. Just want to talk to you about it. No. So there's something. You're not real friends. We were physical back in November. So you celebrated your one year anniversary of being broke up by getting together. I get it. And again in early January. So you're, you're hooking up and talking because. And it's still. The ball is still in the air, so to speak. And I, I'm sorry this is happening because I, I. You wouldn't be writing to me if you were totally happy with the situation. But as much as I care about him, I'm starting to realize that I still don't have clarity on where we stand. I'm sorry I'm about to give you clarity, but I. It feels like we're stuck in this gray area where we're not dating and I'm struggling emotionally because of it. Well, I'm really sorry you're struggling emotionally. I can understand why. Part of the reason is you're calling yourselves we. It feels like we're stuck in this gray area. No, you are stuck in a gray area where we're not dating. Where you're not dating. And I'm. It is so interesting. The we versus the I. I'm struggling emotionally, but we are in this gray area. No, no, no. I'm struggling emotionally because I am in a gray area that this person doesn't seem to care about. So I, I. And I'm not trying to make you. None of this is me telling you to hate this person or that they're being evil. But I'm trying to separate you from this idea that you guys are working together to get towards this common goal. No, you are trying to get you to the best place possible for you. And he is. To the best place possible for him. So stopped acting like you guys are some sort of team. I've noticed a pattern in the relationships I've had where I tend to gravitate towards people who are either emotionally unavailable or just out of a breakup. Yeah, I'm sorry you're doing that. I think I've done this because it allows me to hide behind being the supportive easygoing person and not fully open up emotionally myself. You're self diagnosing. I'm not going to disagree with you. It sounds like that's what you might be doing. But now I'm in a place where I want someone who sees all of me, not just the easy happy parts. I'm realizing that I don't want to stay in a relate in relationships where I'm not able to be fully myself. Well, I think acknowledging that is the beginning. That's great. I. I do think some of this is this email could be read to your therapist and a professional. I am not that because you're using, you know all of this stuff that a professional will be able to tell you. I. I hear what you're saying. I'm not gonna disagree with the diagnosis you've given yourself and I'm happy you're like okay, knowing what you want is like so much of the battle here. You just laid out what you want. I'm realizing that I don't want to be in a relationship. And you know what I love about this paragraph? All eyes. I've noticed a pattern in the relationship I've had in the pattern in the relationships I've had where I tend to gravitate towards people who are either emotionally unavailable or out or just out of a breakup. I think I've done this because it allows me to how to hide being the supportive easygoing person and not full open up. This is all eyes. Good. I'm planning to have a conversation with him soon to get some clarity but I'm afraid of his response and the possibility of rejection. I've done a lot of work on myself and know that I need to have this conversation but I still feel nervous about how it will go. Do you have any advice on how to approach the talk. This talk? How can I stay confident in expressing what I need while also handling the potential for. Well, need while. Do you have any advice on how to approach this talk? How can I have. How can I stay confident in expressing what I need while also handling the potential for rejection? Thanks so much for your insight. Well, I have a lot to say here. I don't know. I hope you'll listen you to me. I think you're. I'm planning to have a conversation with him to get some clarity. This is your biggest problem. You're going to someone to get clarity from them about you to me asking this person. In my mind, they either know they're going to end it with you at some point, or they haven't thought of their future at all. It's one or the other. I don't think that they've. There's no option where they're thinking to themselves, I'm just waiting to reveal that I'm in love with this person. And I'm sorry to tell you that, but that's the truth. The idea of you going to them for clarity for yourself, I think that's not helpful. It's like, you ever been in a rush and you go to someone to ask them for directions and they don't know how to get you where you're going, but they're still going to take up your time anyways. That's what you're doing. You go, hey, you pull your car up to someone, hey, do you know which way to the park? And they go, ah, the park. Yeah, I think I've been to the park. You know, I used to go there all the time with my kids. And you're like, do you know where the park is or not? And they don't. They just want to have a conversation with you. They are just. You're helping them fill up their day. That's what's going on with you and this guy. You're getting them where they need to go. There's no gray area for them. They're having fun. They have someone to talk to. You're texting about your recipes and TV shows and traveling and workouts and. And they're getting you and the emotional crutch that just a text from you gives them. And every now and again, they get a physical embrace from you. They get the physicality. You guys get to be together. You said you were together in January. You were together in November. And they also don't have to be responsible for you. They may be getting everything they want. That's why I'm telling you to separate. This whole we thing is bullshit. The whole we thing. Oh, what are we going to do? We have. We are. You know, we are in this gray area. No, no, no. You are in a gray area. And they probably know exactly. Are totally fine with what they're getting. I don't think they're writing into another podcaster. So I go back to your question. I'm planning to have a conversation with him soon to get some clarity. No, no, no. I think you have to change the perspective on what this conversation is about. You are going to them to give them clarity on where you are. That's the only way you can do it. You have to do the reveal, which I talk about all the time. Hey. And if you don't have an answer for where you are with them, that's something. That's some homework for you. I would write down, what do I want? I want someone who sees all of me, not just the easy, happy parts. And you know how you get someone to see all of you? You are in a committed relationship with them. You trust that they're not going to like drop you the minute they see something that isn't totally like amazing and supportive. They see you at your down times, they see your uptimes. They spend like the, you know, the nothing time with you. So this is my interpretation of what you want. You wrote, I want someone who sees all of me. Well, the only way to see all of you is to date you and take you seriously as a relationship. So this is me giving you answers to this. But I might be wrong, but you need to decide what it is you want from this person. And write down, in a perfect world, what are you? Are you in a relationship? And you know, you wrote in the beginning, you gave him these excuses. He's recently out of a relationship. He's got a kid. That's not your fucking problem. Not your kid, not your problem, not your relationship that ended. You have a place you want to get to. And I think you have to put your needs over the people you're trying to date. Because at some point you are a we. At some point you do have to compromise. But right now, the compromise, you're compromising as if you're in a 10 year relationship. You're not even. You're nothing. So why don't you say, hey, I want to be in a relationship where someone sees the full 360 degree version of me. To do that, I need to date someone. I need to be in a committed relationship. Texting with you is taking away from that goal or it's getting us closer to that goal. If you're on the same page as me and you're entertaining the idea of us being together, that's a great thing. And I just need to know that we're going towards that, that you feel the same way. If not, I have to cut my losses. And here's the other part of your question and handling the potential rejection. Let's think of tomorrow. You without them. You okay? You're okay. You're going to be fine. Let's think of you tomorrow with them in the same space you are now where you're getting a couple texts every now and again about your favorite TV shows without knowing how someone feels about you. Are you okay? No. You're probably worse than you are without them. So I think you need to like, understand and I know you know this, you're gonna be fine no matter what. But it's not having a conversation with him to get clarity. No, no, no. I need to clear up where I'm at for them. And they have to say opt in, opt out. Jtrain podcastmail.com Keep sending your emails. Jtrain podcastmail.com we are here every Monday with a mailbag Monday, two sponsors as I said this week, Ava, if the last time you thought about your credit score was never. You need Ava. Okay. Ava is a credit building. Ava is a credit building. All that. AAVA is a credit building app that makes it super simple to improve your credit fast so you can get better rates on loans, pay off debt faster, and keep more money in your pocket. Instead of waiting months for a secured credit card, Ava gives you up to 2,500 of credit instantly. This is amazing. So I love that. Anything that can help you get to a better place financially and Ava's gonna help you do that. It even reports your on time payments to all major credit card bureaus every day so you can build positive credit history quickly. You can join for just six bucks a month. Great deal. Download the AVA app spelled AVA today and when you join using my promo code jtrain, that's promo code jtrain. You'll get your first month free. This offers only for my listeners. Get the AVA app and use promo code jtrain to get your first month free. That's promo code jtrain. Thanks to Ava. And now go get yourself good credit. So Ava is in the description of this episode. Go, go, go. Let's do one more. Jared, longtime listener, first time emailer. Thank you for all the advice over the years. I can definitely credit you for making me a wiser dater and well, thank you. I'm happy I could help at all. Here's my situation. I live in NYC with my boyfriend of three and a half years. We're both in our mid-30s and an engagement is likely happening this year. We've already gone ring shopping and talked about where we'd like to get married. In New York, of course. Okay. That said, every so often I find myself thinking about a past situationship from years ago. This is important. It's Not a past relationship. It didn't have a beginning, middle and end. It was a situationship. Just this thing, this fart that hung around. Situationships are just. I can understand why you would think back on it, what would have been. And situationships are hot. They come. You know, it's. It's a high stakes game of poker. Will it happen? Won't it happen? It happens. Sometimes it doesn't happen. Other times, there's so much unsaid that it makes it even more exciting than it actually is. So I get why you're thinking about a past situationship from years ago. I have him muted on Instagram, but I still catch myself occasionally checking his page to see what he's up to. I think what triggered this was the fact that he's been appearing in my dreams lately. Totally pg. Sometimes we're dating or we randomly run into each other. He lives in nyc, not too far from me, but neither of us have ever reached out. Should I be concerned about these thoughts? I don't think so. I think they're normal concerned. No. Or do you think they're just lingering because we have never had full closure? I should mention that looking back, I think I was more drawn to the idea of him than who he actually was. I love my boyfriend and I'm excited for our future together. But it is. Is it weird? But is it weird that this old situationship still crosses my mind? Would love to hear your thoughts. It's not weird. I have old situationships that cross my mind. I'm single. I could reach out to them anytime. And I don't. I under you it because I don't. And in the past I have and I feel bad. And now because I've reached out to past situations, I go, what was I doing? And I hold back from doing that at all. And yeah, it's all confusing. It's all a mess. I don't listen. Should I be concerned about these thoughts? I don't think so. Who am I to say it, really? I think the problem is you have this person's information at your fingertips. You know, it's just sitting right there. You could go and check what they're doing and see their Instagram and check in on a world that would have been yours, but it never would have been yours. I think that's the. So I understand the temptation and why you think about it. And I do think unsubscribing from them would help this. I think unfollowing them and taking away the temptation is the answer. As extreme as that may feel you did write something that I do want to get into. Or do you think they're just lingering because we never had full closure? I wonder what the closure would have been. And maybe, you know, could you still get it? Would it be worth it to you to go message this person? Hey. Because with a situationship, if you ask them why it ended, they would go, no reason at all. I always liked you. They're always going to be just nice enough to make this worse. I really do believe that. But the reality is, and if you want me to dump you for your situationship, I can do it. Hey, I liked hooking up with you, but I never saw you as being someone I'd spend the rest of my life with. That's what they would say to you. But they're never going to say that. That's the problem. They're going to be just nice enough because they don't want to deal with the issue. Situationships were created out of the necessity to have something casual and fun and never have to answer those questions. Relationships, what you're in, they're gross. They're not romantic. You say you love your boyfriend, but your boyfriend and you have this real thing that is you and him and logistics and not sexy stuff like, hey, are we gonna go to the party tonight and deal with your cousins? You know, like, you know, with the situationship, it all is in the land of romantic and glitz and glamorous and gumdrops and you know, bon bons. It's, it's just, that's why when you think to the situationship, you're only thinking of these high highs, these drug filled moments. It's like thinking to the nights he did cocaine. You know, you don't, you're thinking of like, oh my God, that was such a wild time. You don't think of like the next day and that hangover that made you never want to leave your apartment for a week or the sadness that hit you three days later that made you go, why would I do drugs ever? It's rare that you think of that when you're thinking of the situation. You're thinking, well, and you even say it, you even say it, you go. And the dreams kind of make sense because when you go to your dreams, it's like these, it's like when you were at that high and having that crazy night together and like me even saying that might make it worse. You might be going, yeah, I remember that crazy night as you like rub a nipple. So should I be concerned? I don't think so. I think it helps to unsubscribe from people. I really do. Unfollowing and taking away the, oh, what's he doing today? I do this. You go look at old, you know, people used to hook up with and you go look at their accounts and you think what, what would have been? And then you have to remember like, there was a reason that ended. There was a reason it wasn't making me happy. There was a reason I never pursued it. And I think it's, you have to think in I terms sometimes with these situationships. The tough part is that you might be sitting there going, well, if they had just bought in, then we would be together and it's like, no, you wouldn't have. They were never going to buy in. I don't know. And I would love to hear what like a relationship expert, like a, like someone with like real, you know, like a relationship, like psychologist would say about like talking about this with your partner. Because I don't know if it would help if, if it would help to say like to take away the shame from it, like. But I'm sure that's not an easy conversation to look at your boyfriend and go, hey, so I was looking at my situationships. I've been so. I've been having dreams about my situationship recently and I just want to get into it with you. Like that's, you know what, that's not advice that I would ever give because that's fucking impossible to, to do. If you did do it, I bet you, you guys would be a closer couple. Like if he was like, yeah, sometimes I look at, you know, those things too and maybe you guys get to talking like about, like what about that physically that made you, you know, that you got from that that you might be missing here. It might turn into this whole revolutionary conversation that turns into you guys getting to know each other on a different level than you knew each other before. But am I going to tell you to do that? No. Because would I do that? I don't think so. I'd probably be scared shitless just like you to bring this up to my, you know, whoever I'm dating. So I think it's normal. I think you take away the temptation, you unsubscribe, you unfollow and you know, maybe, maybe you know, in those dreams what are the things that are like piquing your interest and maybe those are topics you talk about with your boyfriend. Are there things in those dreams and those situationship moments, the times where you're kind of lusting the kind of where you're a little drool running down your cheek. Maybe those. What are you thinking about? Are you thinking about the physicality? Are you thinking about how they saw you or how they texted you? Maybe you try and work on those things specifically to do with your partner now and then you kind of get that drug that you're missing. Maybe. I don't know. Just a thought, but I don't think this is like a. To me, the idea of thinking of someone you had a past with is not crazy. And then also, like, especially the situationship of it all, it never ended badly. They were never evil to you. You know, just like I said, they never had to look at you and go, yeah, I think you're great to hook up with, but I just never saw a future with us. Our personalities didn't match. And if they had said that, maybe that would, like, jolt you into reality and like, oh, that was nothing, because it could never have been something. Right now you're living in this. Well, if I may, you know, you're thinking of life as this, like sliding doors. If the doors just open a second sooner, I would have been on the platform and I would have met him. I would have been with a different person. And I don't believe that life is that, like. I don't think life is that fragile. Is that the right word? Like I, you know, I'll be personal. I handed something with someone and I. And I think about them a lot and I'm like. And I do have this moment where I'm like, oh, reach out. And then I go, Jared, whatever it was back then that you had in your stomach, you have to trust that you have to go. That was a real feeling that there was a reason you didn't go forward, and there was a reason you in the situation didn't go forward. And it was right. It wasn't thoughtless, it wasn't nothing. And those details kind of go by the wayside the longer you get away from it. And all you think about is like, that one night you guys had together when you were just getting hot and heavy. So jtrainpodcast@gmail com, keep sending your emails back next week, boom.