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The JTrain Podcast
Long Golf Rough, Uncomfortable Furniture, and Rental Car Reservations - TICKED OFF TUESDAY
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I know you're angry. It's Tuesday and it has no feel. The weekend was fun. You're still hungover from the eating and next weekend is too far away. What will you do with your day? It's time to get ticked off. Complain with your gripe. Right now, your friend Uncle J Train is here to tell you that you're right. It's a ticked off Tuesday. Ticked off Tuesday. You're angry and you don't even know why. Enjoy this podcast. It'll help you get to Friday.
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Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Tuesday is a ticked off Tuesday where you, the listener, email me the comedian and we complain together. Send your complaints to jtrain podcast gmail.com jtrain podcast gmail.com. you can complain about anything and I will find a way to make you feel seen, make you feel heard. It is the only place on the Internet where I you, you, you will not hear me say to you, there's bigger problems in the world. Oh, you are complaining about your issue. Nope. Your issues are valid here. That's the whole premise of the show. Show's pretty simple. What I'd love for you to do is email the show with your complaints. J train podcastmail.com Sign up for the Patreon. The Patreon is the best way to get your complaints read here and to get the full power running through your veins of hearing yourself agreed with. So patreon.com jared free the link is in the bio. The episode. You get coffee with J Train every Friday, which is my personal diary. You get to hear stories from the week. If you're listening to this now, you're going to hear about my weekend in San Diego, the new year. You're going to hear about golfing a little bit here today because I have a complaint and I'll get right to it. Sign up for the Patreon. You, you comment on coffee with J with your TikTok Tuesday and then that goes to the top of the pile. Here's my complaint. I played golf at. Hey, I don't even remember Torrey Pines. My God, I'm sorry. I played golf at Torrey Pines, which is. Listen, I know there might be people who, like, are just turned off by golf. I will explain this as if you have no relation to the sport whatsoever. I do understand why it's easy to hate on golf. I have talked about learning it the last few years and trying to get into is A great activity on the road gets me outside. I can walk now as I'm starting to get better. Better. I'm not good. I'm getting better. I'm improving. I think the game is just a. It you like taking a GLP one. The noise is not reflective of the reality. The noise on golf is that, you know, it's easy to make fun of the, you know, the hateable rich snob plays at its exclusive. These are all true things. So the bad actors, the people who have jokes that are just trying to show you they have a personality, they kind of get involved with the golf talk, and it overtakes the, you know, the real. And again, like, I'm. These aren't things I'm gonna deny. But the reality of golf is it's actually. Once you start playing, it's a very inclusive game. They have different places you can hit from, so that people have different skill levels, can play together. People are really generous when it comes to golf. If they find out you golf, they're inviting. I have been invited out of the goodness of people's hearts to go play with them for four hours. Like, that's crazy. That's crazy. I would never be that nice. I would never accept that offer if it wasn't for a golf game. And now I'm meeting people you meet. You know, I'm getting to know people through. It's a great. I'm just like, I couldn't say enough nice things while also acknowledging the crap people talk about. So my issue with Go. So Tory Pines is a famous course. They've played the US Open there, which is a famous, famous tournament. Tiger woods has notoriously, like, crushed this course. Like, this is like a. A course that he had done incredibly well on. So there's a lot of famous moments, TV moments from Torrey Pines. This is all you need to know, is that I am playing somewhere that people would kill to play. And that's my issue. I played and I played three days in a row. The first day I get there, and it's raining, and this will all be on Patreon, because I'm going to talk the full story. My complaint is that the rough, which is okay, when you. When you hit the ball in front of you, is the shortcut grass. And then to the right and left of the shortcut grass is longer grass that is called the rough. If you hit in the rough, it's harder to hit out of than it is the shortcut grass. The rough at Torrey Pines was so high, it was so long. That when you hit your golf ball into it, which is, for me, as a not great player, more often than not, you couldn't even find it to the point where the course implemented a rule, an actual rule, that if it takes you longer than a minute to find your ball, you can drop a ball right around where you saw it go, and no penalty. No penalty. They just go, yeah, just drop another ball. And. And that is within the rules. So at first hearing this, you might go, so what's the problem? They're giving you the free shot. When you play golf, a lot of it is about satisfaction. If you've ever watched those videos where it's like a very satisfying noise, or you see, like, them color in something and you get this, like, brain itch. I think people. If you want to hear why people like golf, I think it gives people the brain itch. When you hit the ball well, you feel it through your body. You feel good when you. When you get a good shot and you can see where it is, and then you go up to it and you hit a second good shot, you feel good again. It's a drug that is the drug of golf. This. And I would say that it is relatable to people who like a satisfactory noise. Itch, Brain itch. If you can understand that, you now understand why people will pay amazing sums of money to go golf to get that one feeling of hitting the ball perfectly. And you go, oh, my God, I feel it. And I didn't understand that because I don't think anyone's ever explained it. I've never heard someone explain it this way. When you hit a great shot and it goes in that grassy area that's very long, and then you lose your ball, you feel horrible. You have to get over your insecurities. You have to. It's like. It's like someone interrupting your climax, to be honest, not to get dirty or blue here. And the course knows that. They're like, yeah, yeah, we haven't cut the grass in a few weeks. But, yeah, take a free ball. And it's like, it's not bad. It's not. Just take a free ball. I'm not saying, like, good. Oh, I can use 30 balls today. I just won't even look because you're going to look for your ball because you're going to feel badly. I was so. And now I can't come back from Torrey Pines, new golfer who sucks and tell people it was. It was annoying. I have to say. I was lucky enough to play Torrey Pines. Look at me. What a great life I lead. Look how lucky I am. I can go and work in San Diego and stay in a golf course and play one of the greatest courses in the country, maybe even the world. And I'm going, eh, grass was a little long. And now I sound like an unappreciative asshole. And I'm. And whenever someone says to me that, they get it. I told a friend. They asked me about Tory, but they go, oh my God, they saw my Instagram. I posted on stories. Oh, my God, man. Oh, that must have been great. I said the rough was really long because he knows golf. And he goes, I wouldn't even play. And I go, thank you for saying that. Thank you, thank you. I feel relieved because I walked away from it going. I saw the beautiful views when I had good shots. I was very happy. I don't mind having a bad shot, but let me get the second shot. That's going to be better than the first. You aren't even allowed that. Imagine you have a bad shot that goes in the rough. Now you can't find the ball. You're like, I'm a loser, I suck. And now you got to drop a new ball. But no good. We don't get a penalty. So I guess I'll try not to feel bad about this. But you can't tell me how to feel. Hitting a shot to the rough, then not finding your ball is defeating no matter how many free balls you can drop. I would love to hear if I'm explaining this. Okay, I'm here alone in Delray Beach. It's a ticked off Tuesday. I would love to hear if you're. Because I think if you're out there and you have no relation to golf, I would love to hear if you can understand what I'm saying. If you're a golfer, I would assume, you know, but that's kind of like, you know, that's my. If you're wondering what, you know, what's. The people. People think becoming a comedian is about being funny. Well, yeah, but also getting someone to see the picture that's in your head, feel the feeling that you're feeling. I hope you can feel this because that would make me feel good, that I'm a good comedian. Jtrain podcastmail.com Jtrain podcastmail.com I have one more complaint. My second complaint is that I'm getting back from San Diego. I'm also getting back from New Year's shows. If you came to the shows in San Diego, they were so great. I mentioned it On Mailbag Monday. But I want to mention it here too. Mike Drop Comedy club is a great club. Please, please go to that club. I want the club to exist so that I can go back. I will never do a theater in San Diego. I will go back to Mic Drop. That place is great. So I came back and it's, you know, January 5th as I tape this because I'm heading out to New York to do some U up tapings and I have all this mail. I go and get all my mail. I have a lot of mail because I've also moved into a new apartment. So I'm getting sent a lot of stuff because people say, oh, new guy in town, he needs this. He needs cleaning service, he needs AV help, TV set up, shades, all the new stuff you need when you move into an apartment. The problem is I hate that the they send you mail in mail that looks really official. All the junk mail now looks like bills and it's really annoying. So every time I open something up and it says, jared Freed official, need your response immediately. And then I open it up and it's like, hey, need a TV hooked up? And you're like, what? I was avoiding this for no reason. I was avoiding this letter because I thought it was a bill. And I was like, I don't want to deal with it now. So I didn't open it. And then I did and it's just like, hey, want to get ice cream at our new shop? I hate when mail looks official when it's unofficial. There should be a law. Electric bill, mortgage payments, rent, whatever. If there's a bill, it should look like a bill. And if it's an ad or spam, it should look like clown. It should be purple. Jtrain podcastmail.com Jtrain podcastmail.com I have four listener complaints. All four are from the Patreon. So you gotta sign up. I got one sponsor every plate. Keep meals easy in 2026 with every plate. Every plate gets you restaurant level deliciousness every week. All in the comfort of your own home. Every plate offers tons of flexibility and great rotation of amazing meals with affordable meal kits to simplify your day. 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This is a problem I always had with my house growing up and I'm smiling a little bit because I know this type of person. This is my mom, my mom, you know, I would go to other houses and and the problem is, you know it exists. You know it's out there. This comfortable couch that also looks nice enough and you know that they're furniture. Your mother in law's furniture is more art than it is function. They have a painting and you know, their art is their home and the pro and that's okay. If I don't have to stay at your home, there's no thought of oh well, people like the couch you're sitting in and because they're not really thinking of you. You went to go visit your mother in law and you know and she says come over the proud. She should just not have people over like you. Well actually it's a catch 22. I want my House to be art, but I gotta show people what my art looks like. So the only way to show my art is to have to be below my house. But my house is uncomfortable for people to be in. This was my plight growing up. My house growing up, not a comfortable house. My dad used to make fun of it all the time. He. He used to say, I want to get two lazy boys and I want to put it right in front of the tv. And my mom would like, she would shudder. She would be like, that's. There was like our worst nightmare. She wouldn't even. And he's like, we'll put it in the basement. We'll just put the basement and we'll make it two lazy boys in the basement, just like they had in the apartment and friends. And she was like, yeah, sure. She wouldn't even let the basement be comfy. So I get it. And now you're sitting on a couch that's like, eh. When you know there's. I mean, that cloud couch that exists. Have you ever sat in the cloud couch that everyone's like, it's so expensive and now they have copies of the cloud couch. The cloud couch is so expensive and has copies of it because people. It has both. It has been accepted by society as a nice couch while also being comfortable. If that's. If I was a furniture designer, why even be in the game if people don't want to sit on your stuff? I would have to assume that furniture designers are like art school dropouts that are forcing us to deal with their designs. Because I would assume that to be the best furniture designer, you have put together comfort and design, style and comfort. If you're not doing that, aren't you not the best at your profession? You should be just an artist. You're a sculptor. Jtrain podcastmail.com I did not expect to get as fired up about that email as I got. Because I'm fired up. I'm annoyed at the. The furniture I grew up having. I'm looking at the couch in my head. It was a curved couch. Where. Literally curved in a way the. In my. The house I grew up in. I'm gonna ask my mom. We had a couch. It was curved in such a way that not one seat was a good seat. You know how there's one good seat? There was zero good seats on the couch in the living room where we watch TV all the time. How do you do that? That's a feat in itself. Okay, let's do the next one. My husband and I live on the first floor of a triple decker in Boston. We rent. The second floor is owner occupied. The third floor is another couple who rents. As we've moved around to different places, we've come to find that snow removal is usually not done by the landlord unless you're living in a complex, which is totally fine as there's not much to remove. That's kind of weird. I would think that snow removal is a tough one. I would think that comes with whatever level of HOA you pay. But if you're in a building where there's no hoa, you, you know, I was just in a building. I just paid rent. But then I would assume my rent is to cover their hoa. The owner's paying some sort of communal thing. All right. But we're ticked off every time it snows. It is somehow left up to us to shovel the steps and walkway in front of our building. You shouldn't have to do that. We've even left for several hours hoping to find that someone else would have taken upon themselves to clear everything off so that no one slips. But all we find are footprints in the snow up and down the steps. We are also the only ones buying salt. No, this is the responsibility of the owner. If anything, you'd think the person who owns the condo would offer to help or take the lead, but we have never seen this person do either. And what's even more frustrating is the same goes for the trash cans. If we didn't take them out or in, no one would do it. That is. That's actually insane. The cherry on top is that the person who owns their condo on the second floor constantly leaves notes on the main door about people not breaking down their boxes enough in the trash or putting out the trash cans. To our early saying, we could not, we could get fined, yet never offers to help with anything. We can also be fined for not clearing the snow from the walkway. We find this very frustrating and aren't sure if we should just stop altogether, but know that could get gross excess trash or dangerous. We slip and fall sign ticked off tenants. I would write them a letter. I would get as letter writing as they are. I would fight fire with fire. They're sending you letters. I would put a letter under their door. Hey, most buildings have snow removal plans. Do you have a plan for the snow removal as the owner of this building? That's crazy. I would stop, you know, the trash thing if you got. I, you know, you don't want to do something to prove a point at your own, you know, dismay you don't want to make yourself worse off just to tell this guy to go fuck himself. But I, I, there's a temptation, and I get that. Like, I would go, okay, let's get dirty. You want to get dirty? We're gonna get dirty. We're gonna get trashy here. We're gonna smell like, like a gym sock. I would give it a month. The snow I wouldn't want to deal with, but because I don't want to slip and fall either. But this is I. And I, you know what I would do if I were you? I would consult a lawyer. Like a friend. You got to have a friend who's a lawyer. Someone. This is the information will set you free. Because right now the major issue is you have no idea what your rights are. Because I've lived in rental buildings and they did the snow removal, they did the salt. And I always thought that was like part of the purchase for them to have a building. Because I would think the fear is that I could sue them for not taking care of the building. I would find someone in real estate law and just be like, what's the deal here? I would even, I mean, this is like a job for ChatGPT. I would find one ChatGPT to give me an answer and I would just go with it as truth. Jtrain podcast gmail.com Jtrain podcast gmail.com Ticked off Tuesday. My ticked off Tuesday is I went to the gym on New Year's day, which I was proud of myself for. Good for you. On top of feeling weathered and run down, after my workout class, I went to the massage chairs where you can get after my workout class, I went to the massage chairs where you get two 10 minute uses. I finished the first one and went to scan for the second one. And a lady lifts her head up from another chair and says to me condescendingly, there's people waiting. I mean, I read it. I, I took my own liberties with imitating the woman that you wrote about, but there's people waiting is like taking a, a dagger and throwing it at me ninja star style. Because that, even reading it, I don't like the, the phrase there's people waiting just hits me that is like bullet between the eyebrows, as if I'm the asshole for wanting to use the second massage. I politely said, well, I'm still going to use this chair, but my blood was boiling during my entire second massage. I pay for this membership and I'm not supposed to use it because someone is waiting and why are you shaming me for it. Thanks for listening. Tension in the massage room. I just don't, I, I, I guess I, I'm a little left, you know. Here, here's the thing. You get two 10 minute uses if there's a sign in the massage room that says hey, if, if there's a line outside, a roped off line with people waiting, that's one thing. This honestly, how much of a massage. Who's in the middle of a massage and and, and has the, and is also policing the room. Why aren't they relaxing? You're in the chair. It does nothing to you. Why don't you shut the fuck up? I mean. Lifts her head up from another chair. Where did she come from? What is she, head of the pta? There's people waiting. That's a crazy like, just, it has nothing to do with them. Like there's people waiting. Do, are, are they in, in, in eyesight? I, I just don't like this idea of people policing other people. If it has nothing to do with you. Get out of the way. Shut your trap. There's people waiting. Just really bothers me. That really boils me My, my blood too. I'm just trying to understand this room though. I finished the first one, went to scan for the second one and a lady lifts her head up from another chair and says to me condescendingly, there's people waiting. As if I'm the asshole for wanting to use the second massage. I politely said, well, I'm still going to use this chair. Like, listen, you wouldn't be able to do this. You wouldn't be able to get up from the chair. Scan, go back to the chair if people were legitimately waiting. Is there a list that's outside that someone calls yo, Jenny Smith after you walk out? That's a different story. You're going to do your two and you're going to get out of there. Jtrain podcastmail.com I just, I don't understand. I go through life looking for less. Fights, arguments, interactions like this. This woman's looking for more. Ticked off. Tuesday Luxury lounge complaint Six car rentals in Chicago. I know six S I X T because they pop up a lot when it's like they're the, they're like the cheapest as far as rental cars concerned. Okay, six rental cars in Chicago. I paid extra up front to reserve an suv and upon arrival I received a mandatory upgrade to an Audi sedan because there were no SUVs. That's not an upgrade. That's different than what you reserved I mean, there was a whole Seinfeld famous scene on an episode of Seinfeld of the person saying, you know, this must be, like, industry practice, because Seinfeld, what, two decades ago, maybe more, had this whole famous scene about taking the reservation and honoring the reservation and why make the reservation? And they even like. He, like, goes back and forth with this, like, rental car person, and, like, the studio audience goes crazy. If you go watch the scene, he's like, why take the reservation if you're not gonna honor the reservation? And everyone's like. Like, people are going absolutely cuckoo bananas. And it's because we've all dealt with this. We've all thought, like, well, why even make the reservation? We've all done the Seinfeld bit. If I was okay with driving a sedan, I would have elected to pay less weeks ago. When I reserved it, I needed an suv. That's the thing. Don't give me a convertible. When I reserved a truck, I didn't reserve a truck because I was looking to do asshole cosplay. I wasn't dressing up as a foreman for Halloween. That's not why I reserved the truck. I reserved the truck because I need the truck bed to move crap around. Oh, I see you've gotten a truck. Well, we've upgraded you to a limousine. That's not what I need. When you order an suv, it's about function. Giving me, ooh, well, how about a BMW sedan? They're trying to say that you are so vain that even though you ask for an suv, you'll take the BMW because, ooo, you can fake being a rich person. Don't you want that? Just like all the people you look at on Instagram. Ooo, it can be just like you went to St. Bart's for Christmas. Want a BMW, you peasant loser. That's what they're doing. That's how little they respect you. They think of you as this vain loser who will take a luxury sedan. No, I don't want that. I need an SUV because I got two shit kids who go in little baby carriages and they got all their toys, and I got a fat ass that needs to sit in the seat and wants to be comfortable. If I was okay with driving a sedan, I would have elected to pay less weeks ago when I reserved it. I needed an suv, not a sedan. The extra responsibility of a luxury sedan for SUV functions is not okay. No refunds, of course. Thanks for keeping the podcast going over the holiday. It was a treat. Appreciate you. Yeah, listen, I appreciate you. You're right. None of us are reserving the SUV just to have an SUV with rentals cheapest and purpose. That's what we're looking for. Your purpose was to move bigger things, and you wanted the cheapest way to do that. That's why you got the suv. It's not because, oh, if I could only, you know, had the confidence to have a Mercedes sedan. They should be ashamed. Jtrain podcast gmail.com jtrain podcastmail.com Back next week. Boom.