Surviving Online with Brendan Sagalow - CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY - The JTrain Podcast w Jared Freid

Summary

The JTrain Podcast – Episode Summary: "Surviving Online with Brendan Sagalo"

Release Date: July 30, 2025

Host: Jared Freed
Guest: Brendan Sagalo
Special Mention: Brendan’s Comedy Special, Thin Lips

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The JTrain Podcast, host Jared Freed welcomes comedian Brendan Sagalo for a lively conversation during the "Chit Chat Wednesday" segment. The episode delves into the complexities of navigating the online world, the challenges of internet virality, and the impact of social media on personal and professional lives. Brendan also discusses his comedy special, Thin Lips, offering insights into his comedic approach and personal experiences.

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Promoting Brendan Sagalo and His Work

Jared begins by introducing Brendan Sagalo, highlighting his reputation as a talented comedian and his comedy special, Thin Lips. He encourages listeners to watch the special, emphasizing its humor and relatability.

[00:00] Jared Freed: "I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them too."

[05:19] Brendan Sagalo: "Like, probably know about it more, too. They're probably like, well, it was in this room, 113 24."

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Discussions on Internet Virality and Public Scandals

A significant portion of the conversation centers around a viral story about a CEO caught cheating at a Coldplay concert. Jared and Brendan analyze the repercussions of such scandals in the digital age, debating the appropriate responses and offering hypothetical Public Relations (PR) advice.

[06:43] Brendan Sagalo: "I just want to say this..."

[19:00] Brendan Sagalo: "He should have never ducked in the first place."

They explore the destructive nature of public outrage online and the personal toll it takes on individuals involved in scandals. Brendan shares his thoughts on handling public humiliation and the potential paths to redemption.

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Exploring Brendan Sagalo’s Comedy Special: Thin Lips

Brendan discusses his special, Thin Lips, particularly the opening segment where he raps about the importance of online kindness. He reflects on the challenges comedians face when addressing sensitive topics and the fine line between humor and offense in the digital realm.

[08:15] Jared Freed: "And it's literally you. It's like, it reminds me of, like, where, like, what's that music video that was like, you and me are nothing but man."

[09:11] Brendan Sagalo: "I could get ahead of this and be kind of funny or I could be daring people to, like, just fill my comments with how much I suck and all that stuff."

Brendan emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding in online interactions, drawing from his personal experiences with negative comments and online harassment.

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Online Negativity and Personal Experiences

The hosts delve into the darker side of internet culture, discussing the prevalence of negativity, trolling, and the psychological effects of constant online scrutiny. Jared shares a personal anecdote about a persistent individual trying to capitalize on his public image, highlighting the invasive nature of online fame.

[10:30] Jared Freed: "And I had one of those guys come up to me, really, in the West Village. I think his name is Khan or something."

[25:07] Brendan Sagalo: "You really see the sludge of humanity or people."

Both Jared and Brendan express frustration with the lack of genuine interaction online, pointing out how anonymity can lead to unfiltered and often harmful behavior.

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Fame, Monetization, and Influencer Culture

The conversation shifts to the mechanics of fame in the digital age, particularly focusing on platforms like TikTok. The hosts discuss how individuals monetize their online presence and the ethical implications of influencer culture. Jared debates the authenticity of content creators like Khan, questioning their motives and the sincerity behind their positivity campaigns.

[14:46] Jared Freed: "You have to reserve yourself to modesty. You have to kind of like, prefer a priest's life."

[28:21] Brendan Sagalo: "Exactly. And it's like, but you're just walking up to people and asking them what they do for a living. That's not spreading positivity, right?"

They critically assess the impact of pursuing fame for monetary gains, considering the personal sacrifices and the hollow nature of online endorsements.

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Would You Rather: A Comedic Game Segment

In a light-hearted segment, Jared and Brendan play "Would You Rather," tackling humorous and relatable scenarios. This segment serves as a breather from the heavier topics, showcasing their chemistry and comedic timing.

Examples from the Game:

1. Shirt vs. Underwear Fit

   • Jared: "Underwear that doesn't fit. I can't have a shirt that doesn't fit."
   • Brendan: "You can't have my stomach, and I'm not."

2. Bad Lunch vs. Bad Dinner

   • Jared: "Bad lunch or bad dinner?"
   • Brendan: "Bad lunch. Because then you could save it with a good dinner."

3. Fart on a Plane vs. Next to Someone Who Keeps Farting

   • Jared: "Fart on a plane, everybody knows it's you."
   • Brendan: "I do that now. I'll fart, and I know they know."

This playful exchange highlights the everyday dilemmas and the humor found in mundane choices, reinforcing the podcast's blend of comedy and personal insights.

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Dead Internet Theory and Perceptions of Online Reality

Brendan introduces the "Dead Internet Theory," which posits that a significant portion of online interactions are driven by bots rather than genuine human engagement. This concept sparks a discussion on the authenticity of online content and the illusion of widespread support or opposition.

[26:12] Brendan Sagalo: "People who succeed the most on the Internet are people who realize that nothing matters."

[26:45] Jared Freed: "The trick to the Internet is realizing we're all wearing the VR headset."

They examine how these perceptions influence mental health, social interactions, and the overall trust in online communities.

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Final Thoughts and Takeaways

As the episode wraps up, Jared and Brendan reflect on the necessity of maintaining authenticity and personal boundaries in an overly connected world. They emphasize the importance of disconnecting from the toxic aspects of the internet while leveraging its opportunities for creative expression and community building.

[28:58] Brendan Sagalo: "Just stay away from the Internet. Post what you gotta post and walk away."

[37:11] Brendan Sagalo: "They’re Charlemagne the God. Who's the Wu Tang member? God damn it."

Their conversation underscores the delicate balance between embracing digital platforms for personal and professional growth while safeguarding one's mental well-being against the pervasive negativity online.

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Conclusion

This episode of The JTrain Podcast offers a profound exploration of the interplay between comedy, personal experience, and the digital landscape. Brendan Sagalo's insights, combined with Jared Freed's thoughtful questions, provide listeners with a nuanced understanding of surviving and thriving in an online-centric world. The blend of humor and serious discourse makes for an enlightening and entertaining listen, inviting audiences to reflect on their own online interactions and mental health.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• [09:46] Jared Freed: "You want control over what you put out there."
• [14:20] Jared Freed: "Fame is part of what gets me to my goal of having a making a living doing something I love."
• [25:43] Brendan Sagalo: "There is no smart opinions that, like."
• [27:04] Jared Freed: "It's people who have nothing to lose."
• [36:17] Brendan Sagalo: "He's also the God."

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Follow Brendan Sagalo:

• Podcast: Sag Daddy Depod
• Comedy Special: Thin Lips (Available on YouTube)
• Social Media: Brendan Sagalo on Instagram

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Tune in next week for another episode of The JTrain Podcast with fresh conversations and insightful discussions!

Transcript

[Jared Freed]

Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them too. Chit Chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a ch. Chit Chat Wednesday too. Hello and welcome to the J Train podcast is a Chit Chat Wednesday. And we are joined today by Brendan Saglow. I love Brendan. So funny. He has a special out called Thin Lips that I just watched. It's been out for a while. I'm mad at myself for not having him on. Go watch it. It's super funny. The link to it is in the description of this episode. We talk a little bit about, like, going viral on the Internet right now. As I taped it, the story about the CEO is like, in the air. And maybe by this time that story will have come and gone or maybe there's new additions to it. But I'm taping this on July 20th and it's all people are talking about. And we kind of talk about, like, what does he do next? What would you do? What would our PR advice be to the CEO who got caught cheating on his wife at the Coldplay concert? Plus, we do a bunch of would you rathers. It's just a fun conversation between two comics. So check out the episode, Enjoy. Share it, maybe. Well. Well, enjoy. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming live from Bloomington, Indiana. That's right, every Wednesday is a Chit Chat Wednesday where I sit down with a comedian, an expert, a friend. Today I've got two out of three. I don't know what. He wouldn't be an expert. I mean, he's an expert comedian. He's a pro comedian. But that's the one. Sub. You know, he's a comedian and a friend and it's been a minute since I've seen and talked to him. He has a podcast called sag. I mean, the name of his podcast is ridiculous. Sag Daddy Depod. I thought it was the SAG Daddy show, which made some sense, but it's Sag Daddy Depod and you can find him on Instagram at Brendan Sagalo. Brendan Sagalo, thank you for coming on the show. How are you?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Thanks for having me. Dude, how dare you criticize the name of my podcast when you go by J Train.

[Jared Freed]

That's right. But I've been here longer. I. I was younger.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yes.

[Jared Freed]

When I did it. You did this as like an adult. I was. I'm like, oh, I. I sell life insurance. What should my, My, my Twitter name be? Oh, J Train. I'm an idiot.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Never thinking you can change it.

[Jared Freed]

Ah, Jay. It kind of fit after a while. And it was a nickname I gave myself as a joke, but I would assume, yeah, Sag Daddy. I guess the reason J Train, I would think of as different as it's easier to say Sag Daddy depod. How does someone tell someone they listen to Sag Daddy depod? Or do they just go, you know, like, that's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This is one of those names, though. When I hear people say it more, it just makes me laugh.

[Jared Freed]

Right. As long as you're getting happiness from it, you know? Yeah. Listen, I guess it's hard for someone to go, like a young woman to be like, I listen to the J Train podcast. That sounds equally stupid.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean, I got six more months of this podcast, and then I'm giving up, so I'll, I'll give up.

[Jared Freed]

What will make you give up the podcast? What's going to make you push it aside? What would make you go, I think.

[Brendan Sagalo]

There'S going to be a, A day where we're going to be scheduling people to come in and scheduling the day because I do it with a producer and all that stuff. And I'm just gonna go, I don't want to do this anymore. And then I'm just gonna, like, I'm.

[Unknown]

Gonna back out of it.

[Jared Freed]

The joy is gone from it. And you see that Break up the.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Beatles in a Disney hotel.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know, he broke up the Beatles in a, in the Polynesian Disney Resort.

[Jared Freed]

Really? Who did?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, John Lennon called the, their manager and was like, I don't want to be. I don't want to do the Beatles anymore.

[Jared Freed]

At the, at Polynesian Resort.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Where were they supposed to play?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know.

[Jared Freed]

Orlando.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I have no idea. He was just in Disney World and he was like this. I'm done with the Beatles. I'm done.

[Jared Freed]

I, I, you know, I, I know the Beatles, of course, are huge, but I have no, I'm not. Like, like, I've, I heard the Be like, oh, the Beatles. And they were one of the biggest bands of all time. But, like, the gravity of this story probably hits a Beatles fan way harder.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Like, probably know about it more, too. They're probably like, well, it was in this room, 113 24.

[Jared Freed]

Goofy was there. Yeah, Goofy was there.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Goofy was, was pushing it a little too hard. Yeah, I like the Beatles and just, I I'm more like, I respect what they did, you know, like, people that are like, I just don't get it. They're. They're. They're overhyped. It's like what they were doing was not happening at the time.

[Jared Freed]

There's a point where something is inarguable. Like, that kind of annoys me about. I wish there were Internet cops. And it kind of brings me to the subject of your special, because I was watching it, and it's very funny. Oh, it's been out for a while. I don't know why you didn't come on this show or reach out to come on so that we could have pushed it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm so weird with that.

[Jared Freed]

I'm blaming you for not reaching out.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know. Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Well, I. I watch it. I was like, this was almost a year ago. So it's called Thin Lips. Go watch it. I watch it. It's extremely funny. It's hilarious. I laughed a ton. But I. I was watching it, and I was thinking about, like, you know, the Internet, like, the idea that someone would go, the Beatles are overhyped, period, and put that out there. Like, that's fine to say in good company with friends and your one buddy who's an, like, a super fan Beatles guy, but. And. And you're doing it to kind of, like, screw with them. But also, it's part of, like, what friends talk about. I think people are too familiar online. Like, it. Like, there's no to put that online. You don't even know who that's directed at. So it sounds like you actually feel that anyone with the opinion that the Beatles are great is, like, a little much, which is crazy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

There is no. There's no. There's no, like, smart opinions that, like. Which would be, oh, well, you know, before you even come out and go, well, the Beatles are overrated. You go, it's all subjective. It's music. It's like saying green is overrated. You're like, well, green's my favorite color. I was like, all right. Well, it's just. There should be people. This is how messed up the Internet is that really upsets me is that people could comment on our videos and be like, you're fat, you're ugly, blah, blah, blah. But then I will go to their page and I will go. I will comment. I've done this. I've commented on pictures of their babies and been like, this baby is the ugliest baby I've ever seen in my life. And then I get. I get, like, demonetized. Or whatever. It sucks.

[Jared Freed]

And then me, the guy who yells at a baby has to deal with the consequences.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

I'm the victim, right? I. It is. Well, I. This brings me to the topic that I thought of. You're opening. You're literally the opening to your special is you rapping, which I know you are a talented rapper. Weirdly, I know you're a very good rapper, which I knew. And then you do this, like, music video leading into your special, and anyone can go watch. It's on YouTube. It's called Thin Lips. And it's all about how you're telling people to please be nice or you will end your own life and it will be their fault. That's the premise of the.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

The music video. And it's literally you. It's like, it reminds me of, like, where, like, what's that music video that was like, you and me are nothing but man.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, the Bloodhound Gang.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah, right. The Bloodhound Gang talk about how they're gonna have sex like, it's the Discovery Channel. This was, like, in the vein of that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, I've never heard somebody explain it so well. And it. That's exactly what it is. And I've never heard anybody be like, so you made a video saying that you'll kill yourself if everyone's n. Mean to you.

[Jared Freed]

Right. You have a line in it where you're like, please be nice.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You.

[Jared Freed]

L. It's like, it's weird how nice you are asking them. You're like, you know, say. You know, say what you would want to say to you. And then you're like. And also, just know that I'm going to play this at my funeral where we're going to tell everyone this happened because of you. You're the reason. You're basically threatening the people to be nice to you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, I'll tell you, at the time, too, I was very, like, I was. I was in the comments, dude. Like, I've kind of made a. You know, I've just figured it out. I'm, like, not looking at my phone as much, but at that time, I was just in the comments, and I knew putting out a special, there were going to be people that were. That would say mean things. So I just kind of wanted to. I mean, it was a gamble because I was like, I could get ahead of this and be kind of funny or I could be daring people to, like, just fill my comments with how much I suck and all that stuff.

[Jared Freed]

It is funny. But then I watch and I can tell you're on your phone. Maybe too much. Because the first bit is just about being online. And I actually wrote this down where I was like, every, you know, you say everything's a scam and you're saying that someone fell down and you're like, okay, what's the tick tock here? Like, that's basically the premise of the first bit. Not to give anything away, but it's been out for a year, so I think I can get away with it. But I would also say people should go watch. It's very funn. But I have this thought about me. I'm only asking you because it's, to me, it's a discussion. Because you bring up the guys that go up to you in the street and they're like taping you. Like, what are you listening to?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

And I had one of those guys come up to me, really, in the West Village. I think his name is Khan or something. And he's gotten a big following now. And he really annoyed me. It really did really infuriate me because I have the same feelings as you as someone who's putting themselves out there on a daily basis. You want control.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Over what you put out there. And like, I was thinking like, you probably thinking, like, you know, I do all of this. Like the, the real, like, genie's wish gone wrong. I do all this. I put out my special, I go on stage, I practice the bits, and then the thing that I find an audience for is me looking stupid because I'm helping someone get up.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Or you're like, they're monetizing off of you answering a question. And it, and it's, there's no boundaries and everybody wants to be famous is the problem.

[Jared Freed]

Right. And, and because this guy Khan came up to me and he just started taping, like, he didn't even ask. And I, I, I, I kind of had this like, okay. And, and, and then I felt regret. I was like, I should have sent something fun. This guy's got a huge channel. Like, I'm almost like, mad I missed the opportunity. I was like. And then what really annoyed me about him coming up to me and being like you? Because he starts with like, you look cool, I love your shoes. Where. What do you do? And he's like, you got a great vibe. Like, he's very, he's in this like, positivity space.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

And then you go to his account and I remember the bio said something like, I'm here to spread positivity. And I, and I think I Asked him. I go, what is this for? And he was like, spreading positivity. And I was like, no, no, no. You're doing this to make money. Like, yeah, Your goal is to make money. Like, the lie bothered me more than anything else. I'm using you as the backdrop for me to make money. And then. Yeah, and then I watch his videos and he'll have like, you know, it'll be like, Kim Cattrall or something like that. Like, like, like. Because he's. He's just, like, poking around the West Village. And theirs is like, yeah, I'm an actress. And they're so happy. And I'm like, no. Then I become mad at myself. I'm like, why were you. The misery, Like. And then I started practicing answers because I was like, I'm gonna see this guy around.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Dude, that's miserable.

[Jared Freed]

How miserable is that? Because then I'd be walking around the West Village. I was like, if this guy ever comes up to me, I'm gonna say, I'm a chubby loser. And. And then I'm going to go. And then he's going to go, what is it? What does that mean? And I'm going to go. I convince myself that what I'm eating is worth it because I worked out earlier that day. That's what I do for a living. Like, I had, like, this whole bit planned, right, for nothing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm a big loser. Dude, that is so funny. I hate it. I would have been the same way as you.

[Jared Freed]

I don't.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't like people doing. And you know what it is, the whole thing about the positivity and all that is it's not thought out. So e. He might not even be lying. He might actually think, like, yes, suspend to. You know, we've been doing standup so long. I don't know about you, but it took me a long time to figure out, like, that, like, how. How to say things and that that's important and, like, the importance of what you're talking about and what you're doing and all that stuff. Because for years you just go up and be like, blah, blah, blah. And these guys who are trying to be famous, they're all just starting from. From that. So he's like, yeah, it's to spread positivity. Whatever. That's the. But it's like, but you're just walking up to people and asking them what they do for a living. That's not spreading positivity, right?

[Jared Freed]

And trying to. And also, there's an actual app that pays you like on TikTok, they will pay him based on the views he gets.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So, and we're not getting any of that money. You're not seeing any of that money.

[Jared Freed]

Right. And I don't know if, I don't know, I'm like split on it because like, like, and maybe because we go and work and do things with the explicit intent of me of making money and being and, and become like, famous to me has never been my goal. But fame is part of, like, what gets me to my goal of having a making a living doing something I love.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

You know, it's a byproduct, but I have to admit to it. Like, yeah, him not admitting to that fame and notoriety get him more money to keep to do this the rest of his life or that he's pitching this as a TV show and this is a concept that he's working on. I don't know. I, I, I genuinely hate him. Like, I.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, dude, I, I hate these people. I mean, even today, like, I saw that the, the kids of the CEO that got caught cheating are like, you know, being like, you know, I'm, I'm trying to be an influencer now. And it's working. The, the, the, the daughter has150,000 followers on tick tock.

[Jared Freed]

This is the end of the world though, because the minute you don't know what is real and what is not real is when we kind of lose ourselves in society, I think.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

I heard that's not even his daughter. Like, I, the one I saw was a woman whose account went from like her dancing to like, when your dad. And they don't say that they're the daughter explicitly. They go, when your dad gets caught in a cheating scandal. So it's like, it's not even like they're saying that. So it's like dancing to my dad got caught in a cheating scandal. And then I saw an article about it that was like, yeah. And then they're pushing herbal teas in the next thing and you're like, it's not even the daughter. Like, and so you go, weird. We're living in a Black Mirror episode. And I was wondering, this is a question I had for you because beginning of your special, I, this is, I literally wrote are you online too much? And you were talking about, because you're talking about the commenters. And then the first bit is like talking about, you know, this is all a scam that's trying to like, get me on camera. Here's the. Would you rather, okay, you get Famous for what Hock Tua did or you get famous for what the cheating husband did. You have the same background as both of them. Hawk Tua. You're just a post college poor guy who now can make a lot of money off of this. I describe how I blow a person or you have a ton of money and this kind of like changes your life, but it makes you kind of reassess things later in life and become a better person.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So I actually, I, I think your wi fi went out for a second, but I heard the question.

[Jared Freed]

Okay, so let me. You're. Let me just do a. Yeah. Or you're the billionaire who just got caught. You're the multimillionaire CEO who just got caught.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

So you have the ability to monetize the way you describe a blow job or.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

You have to disappear. And now you're kind of on a forced hiatus from the world we know it today. Which is actually not the worst thing in the world.

[Unknown]

That.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that actually doesn't sound so bad. I mean if it's Brendan Sagalo the comedian trying to sell tickets, I would rather be, I guess Hawk Tua because okay, you can, you know, you like we, we have bodies of work, I guess. So it's like if you get famous for that, people can look at your. Even if they're like some like 50 of the world thought that was funny. 50 of the world didn't. They can see, oh, he's actually got some other stand up and stuff like that with getting caught cheating. You're. You're in this like moral. I mean you have to be like, dude, you have to be like, you have to be like. And I'm so sorry and I for. And you know, and I'm learning like you're, you have to like go with this whole thing of like. And I'm learning to be a better husband and father. And also I'll be in at the funny bone in Albany on blah blah blah blah. You know, like, what do you do?

[Jared Freed]

What do you do if you're him? What's your move, dude?

[Brendan Sagalo]

He should have never ducked in the first place.

[Jared Freed]

Well, that's not. No, I, I don't think that's even a suggestion.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What is he doing now?

[Jared Freed]

The natural reaction is to duck. And he did it in a fun loving kind of way. Like if you watch it, what he did is the only thing anyone would do. Your. You have your arms prompo style army around a woman that's not your wife. You get put on the kiss cam. Your Body's natural reaction is to jump out of the way.

[Unknown]

Right, right.

[Jared Freed]

Then you hope that only the people in the stadium saw this and no one in the stadium knows your wife. I don't even think TikTok would have crossed his mind until it went up on TikTok.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know, I know. And even if he did, just chill. If he was like, well, chill, chill, chill. They don't know we're cheating. They don't know we're cheating. Somebody is going to go, that's the CEO of fucking Atmosphere and he's got a wife. And that ain't his wife. So someone coming out anyway.

[Jared Freed]

And it's also Boston. Like, it's not New York City, where everyone's coming from different places. Like, someone there knows him.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Right? So what do you do if you're him now?

[Jared Freed]

What's your move now if you're him? It's even crazier because the fact that this podcast, we are one of a billion podcasts using him as fodder. Like, I understand. Like, I think the people who took pleasure out of the story are gross in a different way. Like, it kind of drudged out all the grosses. Like, even the woman who taped it. Like, I don't blame her for posting the video. It's a funny video. I blame her when her, like, response was literally to go, well, play bad games, get bad prizes. Like, she kind of took a high horse. It's like, yeah, how about you back away and you go, I'm sorry for everyone involved. Like, that's an okay. That's an okay response. You don't have to, like, act like you were better than the person who did this. I. But what do you do now if you're him?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think you rent a cabana somewhere on the beach and you desperately try not to kill yourself and hope by the time you're, you know, because your wife isn't going to, like, I mean, you want to say to your wife, like, hey, I know I did some up. That's bad. Like, that was bad. I'm so sorry, but I am. This is like publicly I need to go away. And I pray to God that you have any still love in your heart for me, that you understand this. But that's not going to happen. Your kids hate you, your wife hates you. The world thinks you're a scumbag. Right? You're on to go away.

[Jared Freed]

You are untouchable by friends, family. Family. I actually think, okay, so if I was him. You ready?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

I'm getting a divorce. This starts the divorce proceedings, the marriage is over. Right.

[Unknown]

You.

[Jared Freed]

You can't hang on to this. You give her whatever she wants. You're going to lose a lot of money, but you're pretty well to do guy. You're. But you get to like, start. Let's start over. If I'm him, I'm trying to start over as quickly as humanly possible. I take a leave of absence from work. I hope that work lets me come back. But I do a voluntary. Hey, we're going to take a leave of absence, right? Okay. I go to my wife. Let's start the divorce today. I can't take back what was done. I don't think there's anything to get back in this marriage. I think we're going to be climbing out up Mount Everest for. For the rest of our lives. You tell me the terms of the divorce, and it's going to go pretty smoothly for you. You're going to do well.

[Unknown]

Right?

[Brendan Sagalo]

The kids.

[Jared Freed]

I would go. How do you guys want to work this out? Do we want to. You know, I'm going to be a present dad. So I'm going to move nearby. I'll move to a house nearby. I'm going to be number one dad. Dad is number one above all else. I try to get in their good favor. Then I volunteer at a local. I volunteer with a local. He's from New England. Okay. So I volunteer with a Catholic school hockey team where I take over as one of the coaches.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Okay.

[Jared Freed]

I then do Gordon Bombay. I do the Mighty Ducks. You got a Mighty Ducks? This. Yeah, that's all New England town, Catholic school. You're the new coach? Are you the guy that got caught cheating on his wife? We all make mistakes, man. I'm paying for it every day. And you live in this, like, one bedroom house on the. In the woods in like Marblehead, Massachusetts, or like Western Mass, Amherst. And you earn your way back while also being number one dad. So all you do is dad and hockey. I think that's. You got a Mighty Ducks. This.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think that is a. I don't think there's a better idea than that, to be honest.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think that's the best idea. I personally would be just desperately trying to, like, stay up because I can fall into that black hole really easily. Like, everything that you were saying, I would try to do, but I would have, like a flask in my pocket. Like, I'd be like, I'd be going like this every once in a while. Like just little. Putting it back.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

I just think that you have to reserve yourself to modesty. You have to kind of like, prefer a priest's life. Life. A life like a priest.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you're done.

[Jared Freed]

You're done. You're not a public guy anymore. You. And then I think that's it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Like. And you do.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You're Walter. Not. I mean, I'm wearing a Breaking Bad shirt, so it feels like I'm obsessed, but it really does is like, you're Walter White right at the end when he, like, he got away, but he needs to come back. Know what I mean? Like, you're like, I gotta just. I gotta just grow out a beard and just get everything set and then live in a cabin for the rest of my life.

[Jared Freed]

The problem is like, a. I think for a man, too, when you cheat, the husbands that you've hung out with, they're gone. Like, they can't go near you.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

You know, you, you're just untouchable.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

I. It's a story that's so fascinating and makes me sad and I don't know, I, I. And everyone on earth knows about it then. And that's kind of the trickery of being online too much. Because I was thinking, like, you know, the idea of, like, hey, we all know that story, right? No, we don't.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

You know, we all, we all know this story. That doesn't mean we know the next story. And I think this type of story makes you believe, oh, we're all online. No, this went to a different level.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And you also see, because, you know, the Internet is so anonymous, that, like, all these people, you just see, like, the worst of people because they're like, they feel, you know, they're like, whatever. I'm gonna say whatever I want. Like, you're not gonna catch me. So they're like, yeah, let her. Let them cheat, whatever. Like, so that's the problem with the Internet too, is, like, you really see the sludge of humanity or people.

[Jared Freed]

It's people who have nothing to lose.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

You know, those people get a mic and it's like, there's nothing worse than someone with a mic who cannot bomb.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Right?

[Unknown]

Right.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And then people agree with them. Like, I, I always make the mistake of going to the comments, hoping that every comment is going to be like, this is not the right thing. The right thing is this. And blah, blah, blah. And it's just like, people being, like, awful. But I also believe in a dead Internet theory. You know about this? The dead Internet theory is that 70% of the Internet, the, like, the active Internet are all bots.

[Jared Freed]

It's like, I have a theory about the Internet similarly, where I think the people who succeed the most on the Internet are people who realize that nothing matters. Like the way we are acting on the Internet. If you're going and yelling at a guy's baby because you're mad about what he commented.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Then you're probably a lot like me where we act like. You ever watch someone with like a VR headset and they're on like a balancing beam above 30 stories in the air?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

You ever watch those videos of those people, like, freaking out? They're like, whoa. But they're really in like a conference room at a Hyatt, right?

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared Freed]

The trick to the Internet is realizing we're all wearing the VR headset. So no, there's literally, there's carpet all around us. There's no mistake you can make. There's no mistake I can make.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Like, if you think of it that way, because the people who are the most successful don't seem to care. Like, look at an example. A guy both of us know, Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis did, is like number one example of that because he does the sps. And every article is, is written about how it was racially insensitive and, you know, and, and he got no laughs and it didn't do well. And then every response to that article that I saw was, no one gets comedy. And they all hate on them because. And it's like both of those sides don't matter.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Because everyone's going to the show. Well, well, I don't know. I, I, I heard some stuff happen. But he's funny to me. That's all that matters.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Exactly.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean that, that's what I've in this year. I've, I've been like, I've learned that. Exactly. That none of this matters. Just stay away from the Internet. Post what you gotta post and walk the away.

[Jared Freed]

Also believe in it. I think that's the one thing. If you don't believe in it, it's not worth even posting. Like if, like that's why I find that guy going around the West Village. What are you wearing? You look beautiful today. Tell me about your dreams. I don't believe that he cares about that.

[Unknown]

Right, right.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, he's just, he's just trying to monetize. He's trying to get famous. But it's like, where are you going to go with this? Do you see a television show with about this or something like that?

[Jared Freed]

It doesn't even matter if you're making, you know, if you get a, you know, this Tik Tok, the, the payment from Tik Tok is not a bad payment. Like, it's actually crazy how much people are making from like, if they have like a million followers on there, they got to be making 4,000amonth at a minimum.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's crazy, bro.

[Jared Freed]

I'm just saying, you know, like, I want to play a game with you. You ready?

[Unknown]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

We're going to play a game here with Brendan Sagalo. Go follow. The podcast is called Sag Daddy Depod and his special is called Thin Lips. So go ahead. Okay. Let's do some. Would you Rathers, you ready?

[Unknown]

Okay, yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Shirt that doesn't fit or underwear that doesn't fit for a week?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Underwear that doesn't fit. I'm more that guy, dude. I can't have a shirt that doesn't fit.

[Unknown]

You know what I mean?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean, is it too big? I like too big. Or is it too tight?

[Jared Freed]

That's the chance you got to take. I guess I would go too tight on both. Too tight. Underwear.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

You have a shirt that's a little too tight or underwear that's a little too tight, you have to wear it for a week.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Underwear. No question. Underwear. I mean, I can't, I, I'm cool with my balls feeling weird and all that stuff. I can't be. I can't feel. Not confident.

[Jared Freed]

You know, I'm, I agree with you. But after a week, I will tell you that bad fitting underwear will put you in a bad mood. Like you're going to be a less likable person for that week.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, I mean, a bad, an ill fitting T shirt is not. Not only am I going to be a bad mood, but I'm going to be that guy that's going like this all the time. Getting at it, tugging at it, making sure it's, you know, feeling it, feeling it around my belly.

[Jared Freed]

Listen, nothing worse. I once saw Sean Donnelly on stage and he was in a shirt and it looked really good on him, but he kept tugging on it on stage. And I go, sean. And Sean's hilarious. He's awesome. I go, Sean, I, I went up to him like a fairy godmother. I go, I know you don't like how that shirt fits, but it looks great. Stick with it.

[Unknown]

And he goes, okay.

[Jared Freed]

And he goes, he goes, dude, I was just thinking about the shirt. Like he had, like he had. He knew. It was like I was inside his head, dude.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Also with a tight fitting Shirt. And if you're a comic, this sucks all the time, where I'll be like, I'll feel my belly going under it. Like it being exposed under dirt. If it's too short and especially if it's too tight, I can feel that I have a belly, so I have to, like, be really stiff.

[Jared Freed]

Okay, that fits well, but it's too short and you're self conscious about it. Or a shirt that doesn't fit as well, but you know, it's. It's a little too long.

[Brendan Sagalo]

A shirt that doesn't fit as well and it's a little too long.

[Jared Freed]

I'm. I'm against. No, no. I like a shirt.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I can't have my stomach, and I'm not.

[Jared Freed]

Listen, if. If it's too short to one person, that would ruin my night, but I would stick with it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, but you. Your body is. You've got the cum gutters. You've got the.

[Jared Freed]

No, no, you've got, like, the V. Don't you guys with weight problems think I don't have weight problems and think of me in a different way. You have body dysmorphia for me.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

Okay. Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Dude, you look. You've got like the genie from Aladdin's body.

[Jared Freed]

Okay. Would you rather bad lunch or bad dinner?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Bad lunch. Bad lunch. Because.

[Jared Freed]

Bad.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Because then you could save it with a good dinner.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Brendan Sagalo]

If you have a bad dinner, you're like, now I just have to go to sleep.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah, that's very right.

[Brendan Sagalo]

There's rarely things I'm looking forward to during my day and my life. And so a dinner, a good dinner is something I look forward to. You know, feeling that. Ooh, that was good.

[Jared Freed]

That's the correct answer. Fart on a plane and everyone knows it's you. Or you're next to someone who keeps farting.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Fart on a plane. Everybody knows it's me.

[Unknown]

I don't.

[Jared Freed]

Right. It's your fart. It's your fart. It's your smell. You. That may as well be a good dinner smell.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, I mean, I do that. I do that now. Like, I'll fart. And I know that they know that it's me and that they smell it and you know it is what it is.

[Jared Freed]

Come quicker. Can't come.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Come quick.

[Jared Freed]

We're on two different sides of this one. Why I'd rather you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You want to pleasure whoever you're having sex.

[Jared Freed]

I wouldn't be. I don't want to. I don't want to have to go through the apologies. I would Rather have impressed someone and.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Come later as somebody who has come quick for about 15 years.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah, I.

[Brendan Sagalo]

There are no more apologies. Like, it's, it's.

[Jared Freed]

This is a. Well, you have a girlfriend. This is the words of a girlfriend guy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's true, that's true. But I also, you know, I do my due diligence before you know, getting to that.

[Jared Freed]

Listen, I'm with you at that moment. I'm not. Listen, I'm. I'm not saying I'm not, but I. There is something to like, you meet, you bring them home. It's like, oh my God, we're going to do this one night stand thing. And then. And you're like, oh, man, I guess this was all an act the whole night.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, yeah, but I'm allowed to trick you now. Am I allowed to be like, you know, do my thing where I'm like, no, well, hold on, hold on, let's. Okay, we gotta like, am I. Or is it just like my.

[Jared Freed]

You're allowed to go again?

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm just come face fast.

[Jared Freed]

No, this is just a one time thing. You got the choice between the two.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Because I'll say like, I'll say like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know about to. Don't.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah. That doesn't. No, no, no, no, no. That. You're coming quick. There's no like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Unknown]

That's crazy.

[Jared Freed]

Okay. Okay. You have to live in this place forever. You can't leave the borders. New Jersey or Norway.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I've never been to Norway, but I assume Norway is really nice, beautiful, dark.

[Jared Freed]

For half the year.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, and then it's light for half the year, Kai.

[Jared Freed]

I think so. Ish.

[Brendan Sagalo]

But Jersey, ah, New Jersey's fine. New Jersey, you don't have a. There's no, there's no tax on. There's no. What's that called? No sales tax in New Jersey. It's, you know, very close to the city. So you can look at the city.

[Jared Freed]

That's the two saddest answers for New Jersey. Like you have six. First thing is if you bring up. If the first thing you bring up about a place is the tax situation. I don't know, I'd rather be in Norway. Live in the fjord or some.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, but then you have to have blackout curtains all the time and your, your sleep's all up.

[Jared Freed]

I've been there. It was great. Very expensive country, but it was definitely great.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, how's the taxing? How's the sales tax?

[Jared Freed]

It was expensive, so it must have some taxes. Well, Brendan Saglow. Thank you for coming on Chit Chat Wednesday. Thanks for having me follow Brendan at Brendan Sagalo. Thin Lips is the special, and the podcast is Sag Daddy Depod. Sag Daddy Depot. Yes, I think it should be Sag Daddy Depod. God.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, if you really want to know where the name.

[Jared Freed]

I know where it comes from. It's Sagda. It's the God, you know, I. I know. So it's. It's a take after.

[Brendan Sagalo]

My rap name is Sag Daddy Da God. So I. I called my podcast Sag Daddy Depot, but.

[Jared Freed]

Oh, so it's not about Charlemagne the God?

[Unknown]

No, no.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean, there's Charlemagne the God. There's. There's. Who's the Wu Tang member? God damn it.

[Jared Freed]

He's.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He's also the God.

[Jared Freed]

I met Wu Tang.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Really? You met all of them?

[Jared Freed]

So I went. I met two of them. I did shows, and they. It was at Mohegan sun, and it's like the Thursday show. There's like 30 people there. And then I get off stage, like, do pictures with whoever wants to take them, and these two. Yeah, older black men come up to me, and they're like, hey, man, we loved that show. And I'm like, thank you. And I don't know rap well. And it was like, uncle. Someone, like, the uncle who's, like, in charge.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Whoa, dude.

[Jared Freed]

Uncle something. So he was so. They were so nice, and they were like, do you want to sit in the friends and family section at our concert tomorrow night? We're in the stadium, and that is so sick. And I go, I would love to. And I was with my girlfriend at the time, and her and I went and we had tickets put away, and we, like, literally walked into the family section, and everyone's like. It was like music screech like, like, who are these people? I look like I was management showing up. And.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

It was an awesome time. I had a great time. Yeah, it was pretty cool. And I think I got their number. I have, like, one of the guys numbers. And I didn't know, like, again, like, because I not a music guy. In the same way, the Beatles, like, I didn't have the appreciation, you know?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Dude, you saw like, legends.

[Jared Freed]

Legends. And I think, what's his name? Who's the. The big Method Man. Like, he came the next night. So these guys were there kind of like, getting things ready. But I. I loved watching them because they had a bar on stage, and, like, they're just like. It looked like a hangout in a basement in the suburbs. Like, yeah, the stage thing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Dude, that is so cool. I want to see them, but they're. I don't think they're ever going to perform again. I think they did their last show in New York. Your WI fi went out, but I.

[Jared Freed]

Missed that whole story, so I just didn't see them.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They were in New York. I just didn't see them. That's the story.

[Jared Freed]

Brendan Sagalo, go follow. Go watch the special. Back next week. Boom.