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Hello and welcome to the Rose Rehash. Watch the live stream and then stick around for my recap of episode two of the Golden Bachelor. So this episode was exciting for me because I'm on the episode. So I want to thank you if you messaged me and told me how excited you were for me. That's very cool of you and very nice and feels really good. I'll get into more of that, but let's get into the recap. If you enjoyed the live stream, please comment, please subscribe, please share I'm taping this after the show and after posting it on everything. So I'm a little tired, I'm a little wonky. I. I just stopped a recording to re record this so because I forgot a bunch of stuff and I want to make sure I get through the recap. We start with the house. The women are in the house and they're starting to settle in. Something that I thought was a little that left me wanting more was the first episode was so busy apologizing that they forgot to like get to the part that we love so much about the Golden Bachelor, which is meeting the women, seeing these women go on their Thelma and Louise adventure. The first episode, which was two hours, spent a good hour apologizing because of stupid comments Mel made. And you know what? I was right. I don't know if I said this on this program last week, but I've been saying it to a lot of people. Everyone Mel apologized to didn't take the apology. They didn't care. He is known as bachelor who doesn't want to date women his own age. And you're not going to change people's minds. The only way you're going to do it is you're going to do it for the people who are watching and engaging with the show that are going to see his great personality and see how funny is and also see how great these women are. So I do think that was a lot of wasted time. We could have gotten to know these women more in this, the beginning of this episode. We kind of do. We can see a little bit of personality peeking its head through. We see Debbie wearing the robe, having her coffee. We see Jerry on the blow up inflatable in the pool. We see the women doing like a jazzercise, doing that like mom workout that like does nothing. And then we get into the drama. Nicole last week made out with Mel in the pool. That was the big drama. Nicole and Terry who, Terry, who's a fun personality, good looking, like kind of has this look that, like, sticks out. She's the one with the puppet. And we see more of her with the puppet later. But, I mean, we see more of her with the puppet right during this, her and Nicole are, like, having this fun puppet conversation. But then Terry kind of calls her out and is like, hey, I thought it was rude. You know, we're all having a pool party and you're making out with them four feet away from us. That's kind of rude. And Nicole defends it by being like, well, I'm here to get my guy. And Nicole, something we didn't see on Golden Bachelor season one was any villainy. Really, the only thing we got on Golden Bachelor season one was Kathy and Teresa being at odds, which really felt more like a miscommunication than it was two people that didn't like each other. It really felt like two different. Kind of like it was two different types of moms. Like, you had, like, the a alpha mom, and then you had, like, Teresa being the flighty, not really getting it mom. This felt different. Nicole basically says in a. In a very villainous way. She's like, I'm the pioneer, and they're gonna have to follow along. Like they. You. You know, like, people usually end up doing, like, as if, like, Nicole's like, as if, you know, people usually get in line. I get my way. And people usually see. And it was like, oh, Nicole, okay. This is what she does. She gets what she wants. So it was just an interesting view because you're like, oh, okay. We are getting like the. We're getting more bachelor than we are getting golden. So the women are then brought together to do the date card. 12 women are going to go on a group date, and one is going to go on a one on one date. Debbie gets the one on one date. Debbie is. Has been given a. A character. Debbie is. I mean, Debbie, episode one says, I'm 65 years young. When you say I'm 65 years young, it's a little doth protest too much. It is. We get it. We. That. That's all I need to know. You are older woman who doesn't like being thought of as old, who is telling everyone how young she feels and how young she is and really revealing your insecurities about your age. Now, why is she insecure? Because she looks amazing. She's an incredible shape. She in no way resembles 65 in the way I see it. But Debbie's never been married. So now we have an earth. The insecurity. Now we get to the gooey center that tells us what's going on. So Debbie is now taking on the archetype of I'm the avatar for every woman who has never found their guy, who wanted to find the marriage, wanted that life, and it kind of passed them by, which is, like, I do think is a powerful thing to have on this show. But I think it's also like, I. I kind of, like, worry about Debbie because she gets the one on one date, and she is like, oh, my God. Like, she reacts as if she got a good. A good result from a test. Like, she went in for blood work, and they were like, you're gonna be okay. And she was like, oh, my God. I guess I won't be single forever. I won't have to live with the sickness. So I'm tracking Debbie because we're gonna see later on, she kind of has another speech like that where it's like, I. I do worry that the show might go too hard on the archetype where we go. This is too tough for us to watch. So we go to the group date. The group date is going to be a roast of Mel, and they bring out a famous celebrity comedian. You might have heard of him, Jared Freed. They bring me out. Yes. I was on the show. It was unbelievable. I was so excited. This is like the dream of a lifetime coming true. It was so much fun. Everyone was so nice. I will talk more about the behind the scenes on Coffee with J Train, which is my Patreon. Patreon.com Jared Freed. Every Friday, I do. I basically write, you know, do an audio diary of my life, and I really enjoy doing that podcast. Yes. I'm charging you for the behind the scenes. I'm going to give some of it here, of course, but I'm just saying that is where I'll tell the story of the whole thing. But. So they bring me out, and I am told to. I've never had to recap myself. I am told, basically, you know, know, we gotta. We're gonna have a competition. These women are gonna get on stage, they're gonna go and write jokes. They're gonna go out around the theater, they're gonna write jokes. I'm gonna help you. And then at the. In a couple hours, we're gonna bring in a studio audience, we're gonna fill up the dome of the Undateables, and we're gonna, you know, judge who wins the contest by who has the best roast. Ma, I'm mad that they. I'm not mad. They cut out a lot of the jokes I made about Mel, like, I came on stage and I was like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like, they showed a couple about the age thing, but I went pretty hard at them. I had help. I had my friend Mike Lawrence, who's a fantastic comedian. He writes all the roasts he does. You know, Nikki Glaser, Amy Schumer, Jeffrey Ross. Like, he's like. And I. Him and I went to open mics together, you know, when we were young. You know, younger standups. So. So Mike Lawrence was helping, and Amy Miller, who's a fantastic comic. So there was help. And we basically went around to all the women and they kind of break out, and we helped them write. I give them a lot of credit. It is really hard to do standup when you've never done it before, and now it's going to be on TV in front of an audience. When I. People ask me all the time, do you bomb? It's like, no, no, no. I bomb in a different way. I have a whole sheath of arrows that can help me throughout the ways, you know, so if. If I'm in trouble on stage, I have old jokes that can kind of get me out. When you've never been on before and you're telling these jokes and you've never, like, seen what a reaction is, and they're just gonna go on tv. That is so scary. So I went around the room, help them out as much as I could. They show it on the show a little bit again, you know, if it was up to me, the whole episode would have been me, but. And then we get to the competition. The dome of the undatables was fantastic. Good energy in the room. Jesse Palmer was fantastic. So it's melon me on these chairs watching every woman comes up and does their bit. They cut out so much of it. But Monica, they showed, like, most of Monica's set. She was very good. I was surprised she didn't win. And it really came down to, you know, Mel wanted to go on a date with Nicole, who he had made out with the pool. In the. In the pool with earlier. So that's kind of what it came down to. And Nicole did well enough that you go, yeah, she had a good set. She did. She. She did well in the room. There was a part where Amy kind of went on stage and went off the rails a little bit, and they show my rant at her afterwards. That was a lot of fun. And that was basically Amy at one point during her says, like, right, Jared. And I just, like, was like, you are Making me anxious and like, kept going. And that really killed in the room at the time, which was a lot of fun. So then Nicole and Mel go on their date. Um, they, I give Nicole credit. She came to get answers. She went on this date to get answers. And she, she, she got answers because he didn't answer. She starts asking about his divorce, which is like a totally normal question. And it's starting to become the elephant in the room because the way Mel describes his divorce, no one would believe episode one. He's like, yeah, she just told me, you know, I'm leaving, it's over. And you're like, did nobody cheat? Did nobody get in the fight? She just gave you divorce papers. You just signed them and was like, goodbye. Like. And she doesn't want to be involved the show seemingly from all the articles that we're seeing. So it's like, so Nicole asked these questions. Nicole says, I'm twice divorced, I'm here on this show. And, and I think her divorce opens up Mel to like, talk about his, but he doesn't say much. He's basically like, yeah, she just put the papers on the table and I said goodbye, like, like you didn't fight for it? I, I, it's, it, it's painted as she found a new life, but that's not how these things go. So I do think his explanation is not good enough to make. It's good enough for him to like, live on earth. It's good enough for him. When you're not on a TV show and you're not trying to be liked and you want, and you don't care about viewership, but if you care about people wanting to cheer for you as the Bachelor, that answer is not going to cut it. So we come back to the house and Debbie's going to have her one on one. Now Debbie's one on one is her with Mel and a chef and they're going to have their own private dinner. They're going to cook and it's going to be this sexy, we cook for each other date. It's a fine date. And Debbie goes into the fact that she's never been married and then she gets the rose. But Debbie's speech, when she gets the rose, you're like, I again, I fear for her. I want her to be okay. But they are setting this up. They're blowing up the balloon a little bit too much. Because this scene with Debbie and she's like, I want you to know that you have hope if you're out there. She's giving this, like, pump up speech. But it's like, it's the pump up speech. She. She probably does in the mirror. Like, don't tell us, like, there's still hope. Don't. Debbie, you're on this show. You want to get married, you want to meet the man of your. Of your dreams. We get it. But like, she gives this speech after getting the Rosie. You're like, you know, I. I get why she gives the speech. I get why she's trying to pump other people up it. But I'm like, I'm nervous. I'm like, I can't. I don't know if I can handle watching her get let down and whatever that speech will be. So that's kind of like something that I'm like, where are we going with this? Because I do understand the archetype that they're playing. They're going, okay, Late in life, woman who wants to find a guy still has romantic, you know, hopes and dreams. Yes. Let's show this on camera. But I'm like, I'm so nervous about the fall because she's wearing it all. She's crying when she gets a match, and she's crying when she gets a rose. And this is her rom com. I mean, it could be a movie. So then we go back to the house. The women are at the house while she's on the one on one date, and Susan and Kathy show up. Now, Susan and Kathy are a ton of fun. They have a podcast of their own. I've been on it. I like, I like them both a lot. I love them coming into the house and like, doing the slumber party thing. And, you know, I in kind of pushing the women to, like, be a little bit more aggressive. They're like, kind of, come on, you gotta like, you gotta play this game. This is. We want, we want to see you push for it. And Susan's speech with a lot of the women like Kathy, when she sits with a woman, it's like, business. Susan gets into it and. And you can kind of like, you're like, man, Susan is loved by literally everyone she meets. I love her. I think she's great. I think Kathy's great too. But I'm saying Susan's talking to these women and you're like, are they gonna kiss? Are they gonna, like, hook up? Like, she's like, like, she's just like on the couch with him under a blanket. You're like, you got here 15 minutes ago, and you can see the effect they had. So then by the end of it. They're giving out vibrators. The vibrator thing was fun just to see who was like, yeah. You know, it's funny. They pull out a vibrator with a bunch of 6 year olds and there's like, half of them are like, yeah, okay, sure. And then half of them are like, what? I can't believe it. Like, looking through their fingers and you're like, are you crazy? Like, so that was all fun and games. And then they leave, and it's time for the rose ceremony. The rose ceremony was funny because you could tell. And. And Monica gets into this. She's like, we were all told to be bold by Susan. And they all get up to try and kiss Mel. And you can see Mel's like, you know, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. And then he has this moment with Carla. And Carla is beautiful. And she looks like she is the wife of a country club stalwart of some sort. She just has a look. And you could tell, like, you know, she's got, like, the veneers of very white teeth and the blonde hair. And it's like. It's very much a look, but it's very much like a look you've seen before. It's not. It's not shocking. She's beautiful. And you could see, like, she's like, trying to make this move. And I think she's like, the most relatable of the Goldens at this point because she goes up to. To Mel and is like, I've had one boyfriend, one husband, and now I'm here. And it's like watching her try to, like, get a kiss from Mel and she's got to be in the position to go for the kiss. It was very awkward. But it also was like, I think in a more understated way, there's people at home being like, that's me. That's why I'm not dating. That's why I'm not out there. So we get to the end of the episode. We lose Amy, we lose Monica, who is great on the roast. And we lose Terry, the puppeteer. We lose the. The ventriloquist, which was sad to see. So I'm gonna give out some roses and thorns this week. Let me give out the thorns. I thought, Mel is gonna get a thorn. You gotta start opening up, man. I think to just say, the papers were on the kitchen table. Now we're divorced. It's just not enough. And that's our. You know, that's the plight of a man. You can't, you know, when A guy says, she left me. A lot of women go, well, what'd you do? So, Mel, you're already working from behind. You made your comments. You're starting at a negative. That means we need more out of you. And right now, he's not doing it. Thorne. Amy. I think Amy thought she'd get more out of this show. She really tried to be a character, and it didn't show through as much as maybe. I mean, I'm sure her and her daughters, who are influencers and their fans got a real kick out of her. I don't know if it goes outside of their world based on what we got from her. And so I. It's less of a thorn and more of like a. You could tell she wanted more fame out of this, I do think, but I. That might come. I mean, she'll be at the reunion. She'll be. And. And you could tell she's game. That's the one thing you can tell that she is like, whatever you want. Let's do the bit. She's down for the bit, which I appreciate. And then my last thorn goes to the Debbie edit. I think the Debbie edit, It's. It's going to be tough to watch. It's already tough for me to watch because I kind of see where this is going. The longer it goes, the harder the fall could be. And I do think when you're a producer on this show, you're playing with fire because, like, hey, this is a sweet show. This is the fun of this, is to see people get out there. We hope this is a happy ending for her no matter what I do. Roses, Carla. I think Carla became way more likable. She's awkward, shy Carla. She's not hot blonde, you know, woman. Carla anymore. To me, Cindy. Cindy wearing the kooky earrings. And you could tell Cindy really likes mellow. And they did have a moment last episode. They had less moments now. But she's falling and I think she's, like, come off really well. The last rose goes to me. I mean, and you, the audience, if you're watching here, you may have been following me for years with this Bachelor specific content that I do. And we. We had a big win. I mean, to. To do the. To go from tweeting about the Bachelor on your couch to being on the show is, like, pretty wild when I think about it. And I have to be appreciative of it and how cool that is. And this was so much fun. There might be more opportunities in the future to go back, which is really cool. And, yeah, that's thanks to you. Thanks to you guys watching and listening and commenting and sharing and all that good stuff. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Back next week. Boom.