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Okay. Welcome to the recap of episode four, the Golden Bachelor. I am. I have to say, this is. This is what I watched the show for. This was a perfect episode because I love the episode. And I'm saying this after having been on one of the episodes. My episode was not a perfect episode. This. This where you have the combination of, you know, you have, like. There was an element of, like, crazies with Nicole and the way she kind of went about things. There was an element of I'm looking for love with Cindy and honest, earnest, love seeking. And there was stupidity that they didn't know was stupidity. Like, it had. Shaman Danny will forever be my favorite character that's ever been on this show. You Shaman Danny. We're gonna get to her. But we start with, I have my notes in front of me because I didn't want to forget anything. We sharp. We sharp. We start with hanging at the house. We're at the house. There's going to be a group date. And the setup of the whole episode is, hey, we have a group date. This is pre hometowns. So this is an important. Like, we're gonna take a step as a couple. And that's why this show is great. When people say they don't like the Bachelor, they're really not being thoughtful. And then what the. Because what they'll say to. To cut you at the knees, they'll say, oh, it's not real. The reality is this show is professional wrestling. Yes, it lives in an unreal setting, but the. The wrestlers have to take the bumps. They still have to jump off the top rope. Just like these people have to have first date, first kiss, you know, talk about themselves. All these things that real people have to go through in a dating scenario, so do the people on the Golden Bachelor. And the reality of it is, hey, you're going to meet my family. And I'm not going to just bring anyone home. And I'm not just going to go home to anyone's family. I know that means something more. So that's where we stand in this episode. There are real stakes. I'm going to have to introduce one of you to grandkids. I'm gonna have to introduce the stranger named Mel, who looks like Herman Munster to my grandkids. Like, that's a real steak. That's a real thing. So if someone wants to say, oh, it's so fake. It's so stupid, fine, let them. But they're not really thinking it through. They're not a thoughtful person. So we start this episode living in that reality, hey, we have a group day coming up. There's going to be five women on the group date and there's going to be one woman who's going to have the one on one date. Now there's two women, Carol and Cindy, who both haven't had one on one time. That's important. So we see them chit chatting about, what are you going to do, you know, if you don't get the one on one? Carol and Cindy are two. Two different sides of the coin. There's Carol who's like, listen, if I don't get a one on one, how can I go home with him? How can I bring him to my family? Cindy doesn't seem to have that view, which is fine. Those that's okay to disagree. Cindy seems to say, I really want the one on one. And then we'll see how I feel. Let's see how he makes me feel. She's less definitive. And that's how the whole episode is set up. So they're at the house. Peggy is on a unicycle for some reason, which again, that is the perfect thing to happen for me. I see Boomer woman on a unicycle because she either brought her own unicycle, which that should have been her entrance, that's something we need to know. Or production was like, we're just going to leave a unicycle here, and if someone picks it up, we're going to get some real good eye candy out of it. I, I so it's somewhere between those two, is it? Peg is a unicyclist and brought her own. They were like, hey, you can bring some fun personal items. And she's like, I gotta get my makeup, I gotta get my sunglasses and I gotta get my unicycle. If that happened, I want to know that. Or it was production being like, if any of these older women go on a unicycle, we have won the lottery. So let's just leave it out, put it in the garage. Or, or this is the most likely scenario. Peg put on her fun facts. I can ride a unicycle. Production sees that. They go, we'll leave a unicycle out. Let's see what happens. Let's bring the horse to water, see if it drinks. It's just one of those things that you see an old. I mean, it's also one of those things that you're like, okay, production, you want us to know. And this is all about this show. And they know. They get a Lot of mileage out of it is inspiration. Look at these people of a certain age doing things you never imagined they could do. They can even get on a unicycle. Look at her. She's on a pogo stick. Look at her. She's gonna jump out of an airplane. Like, this is all. This is why the show is fantastic. So now we get the. The. The group date card is red. Cindy gets the one on one. She reacts as if she just won best Actress. After years in Hollywood and never getting the award and acknowledgment she deserves. And finally she gets it. This. It is a she is. Cindy is in, in, likes him, wants him, wants the whole thing. Carol doesn't get the one on one. You can see this is weighing on her. This is a big deal. This is a big deal. She doesn't. She doesn't get the one on one time. I believe Carol. I. I find her to be an honest participant on this show. I think people could. People could hate on Carol just because of her looks. She's a beautiful woman who has kind of like the Barbie look and. And also, you know, she's done up and she. And then you go, oh, she. But it. As it turns out, when you get to know Carol through the show, of course we don't know her. You find out. It feels like this person is really an honest. Like, I'm new to dating and I don't know how to do this a little bit, and I don't know how to put myself out there, and I'm a little bit in my shell. And I appreciate that about Carol. I like her, so. But you could tell, like, I'm not going to bring someone home who I. I don't have that connection with. I'm trying. I'm here for it, but it's not happening. And we're not getting the time to do that because there's no one on one date. Fine. So we go to the group date, and the whole thing is a spirituality group date. And it starts with Mel sitting on a mountain like he's Tony Perkus and he. Like, Mel's sitting on that mountain waiting for the women to get up there. It was very 80s movie, very Jean Claude Van Damme, very. Like, we're about to, you know, have fight a fight to the death. Like, it was very death Matchy. They. He starts the date by saying, listen, spirituality to a woman in her 60s who is on the cusp of retirement, not really worrying about their income every month is like catnip. Like, you have Brought the most. You have like literally like brought. You've brought fries out that smell delicious. And these women are salivating. He starts talking about spirituality and it's funny that he's like, I just need you guys to keep an open mind. And it's like they are so far beyond you, Mel, and their open mindedness to the idea of spirituality and crystals and all these things that, you know. Mel acts like he's talking to a bunch of guys who played with him on the LA Rams. Like, oh, I just need you guys to keep it open mind Mel, the idea, like for Mel for that to be an honest. I need you guys to keep an open mind. Like Mel would have, like Mel would have to bring a dude up and be like, this is my boyfriend and we're looking for a third. That's the big surprise here. And it's all about spirituality. Like that would be something where they would need to keep an open mind. There is no open mindedness needed here. He brings up. So then he brings in Shaman Danny. I Shaman Danny bringing up a shaman. Okay, great. Can't wait to see the shaman. For the shaman to be a white woman with purple hair and flowy clothing. I was like, did I produce this show? Are they doing this for me? I've never been happier in my entire life. I saw Shaman Dan also to go by Shaman Danielle, who now goes by Shaman Danny. It is so up my alley for why I love this show. The fact that they, I don't know if they know how stupid and ridiculous this looks. Shaman Dan I. If they do and it's like this, like, we're not gonna say anything, we're just gonna like. Because I'm sure Shaman Danny, this is her business. I am positive, I'm positive that Shaman Danny doesn't understand why I think she's so funny. She actually probably finds it offensive that I'd be like, you're the shaman. Like, she wouldn't like that. Shaman Danny looks like she went online, took a course in shamanism and now, you know, starts selling her wares to women that look like the women that go on the Golden Bachelor. This is her wheelhouse. And I am so happy to watch all of this. Shaman Danny looks like she took one trip to Sedona and now it's her whole personality. Shaman Danny was married to a guy named Bradley and they lived in the suburbs of LA and then they got a divorce and she went on her spiritual journey, did some ayahuasca. Now she's here on the Bachelorette or on the Bachelor, like, it is. It's perfection. It is actual perfection. It is to be made fun of. It is hilarious. I hope. Listen. I say this as I hope they found value from it. I listen. When it comes to spirituality, when someone finds something, a nugget, and they can hold on to that and find inspiration in that, that's good for them. I will make fun of that. I will look at Sham and Danny and look at a friend and nudge them and go, she. Shaman Danny. Is that really what it is? Like, this is like, I. I don't know how to say chef's kiss times a million. Like, this is Shaman. Danny shows up, and she's gonna take them through a spiritual journey. They start with, like, a big group version, and she says, there's some pens in front of you. You're gonna write down. Now, I do believe no one goes to the saddest option quicker than my mom. And women of that age, you call your mom. She's like, guess who's dead? And you're like, can we just, like, have a conversation? Can we just, like, say hello first? You know, who has cancer? Like, it's like, well, give me a minute. Hi. How was your morning? Like, no, moms don't do that. They go straight to the most horrific outcome. And this is where we see. Debbie is. Debbie is who we're cheering for. Debbie is the. I mean, I had Debbie. I had Debbie clocked from minute one when she said. When Debbie was introduced, and they said, debbie, tell us about yourself. And she said, I'm 65 years young. That is someone who we need to keep a camera on at all times. Like, you. You. If you say, I'm 65 years young. Okay, we have some issues with age. What's going on here? I'm going to. When I hear. If someone said to me, oh, hi. If I. Hi, I'm Debbie. I'm 65 years young. I'm. I'm getting closer. I'm zoning in. I'm like, okay, what's going to go on with this person? Because now Debbie, who we are into this show. Debbie, who seemingly has fallen for Mel, she has also fallen for the idea that she is closer than. She's maybe ever been to an engagement, something she's wanted. She's never been married. She's concentrated on her career. These are all relatable things. Like, Debbie is a very relatable character on this show. Debbie is a lot of the people watching the show. Debbie's me a little bit. Debbie and I have a lot in common. Concentrated on the career. You know, I'm sure Debbie was in a hotel room talking to herself in a. You know, while. While reviewing people's habits on the Bachelor and the Golden Bachelor, I. In a certain way, we are a lot alike. I'm 40, I'm single. I am, you know, in this age of, like, man, I kind of thought it would have happened. I kind of thought I would have been in a different road. That's Debbie. Debbie's a lot of us. So I make fun of Debbie because we're so deep in this, But Debbie keeps bringing up the saddest possible option as far as conversation. And I know that's what we're getting shown, and that's the editing. That's fine. But she is saying these words because they go to the women. Shaman Danny is like, hey, everyone, write down something that you want to shed. Just write down the word and you're going to shed it. Which I kind of understand as an exercise. They go, debbie, what did you write down? And Debbie goes, hopelessness. And you're like, debbie, Debbie, you're still dating. You're still on a date. You're still trying to get Mel to get to know you. I don't know if I'm writing hopelessness. I think that's, like, the saddest thing you could ever write. How about, like, I want to shed a little bit of the. I don't know, loneliness might be better. Hopelessness. And they show Mel and he's like, oh, really? Okay, Hopelessness. You're like, oh. So they go around like, hopelessness. I think. I think Peg had a better one. Peg had a better one than hopelessness. Hopelessness made me laugh out loud. Hopelessness made me go, debbie, come on, enough beef. Be a little fun. Be a little, like. How about. How about I, like, do a joke one? And hopelessness is so dark. They go to Mel and his is he wants to shed friction. This is now becoming a theme with Mel. Mel will randomly kind of hint at this really tough breakup and divorce that he had when you say, I want to shed friction. Okay, Mel, who have you had friction with? Was there a lot of arguments? You and your ex wife recently got done that through the divorce process that took four years. How about a little info on that? No, he just says friction, and they all just go, oh, that's nice. And no one questions him at all. A theme here on this show. I can't believe not one of these women have been like, I have further questions. So the first part of the date is this, like, Group setting where they're writing down horrific things they want to shed. Then they each get a turn doing like a more physical version of a spiritual date led by shaman Danny. Peg gets the mud bath, Cheryl in the cold tub. There's tantric yoga with Deb, who they. Tantric yoga. She does like a yoga thing where they're like, you know, wrap their legs around one another. There's a tarot card reading with Nicole, which is a little bit foreshadowing of like, hey, we have questions of Nicole Cole. Nicole's the one we don't really trust. And he, he's been delivered that message. They basically let you know, they're like, you know, Mel in the past episode is like, hey, you gotta watch out if people are here for the right reasons. And now you get the tarot card. Like, I, if I were Mel, I'd be like, okay, who's getting the tarot card date? Like, that's the one I gotta watch out for. Because it's kind of a symbol of like, hey, hey, what don't, what don't we know here? And then we go into the, I mean, I'll go into the tarot card date with Nicole a little bit. Nicole, you can tell Mel is on to Nicole. And he even says, he's like, I'm an observer. I'm not one to like just start screaming and yelling. I'm going to observe and then I'm going to make my decision. Which is a very. I get it. He sits with Nicole and he basically asks for her five year plan. When you ask a woman that you're dating their five year plan, you're wondering where the money comes from. How are you making a living? I know that Peg is a bomb diffuser with the fire department. I know that Cheryl does mountain biking and you know, like, I would assume, and this is my assumption, my opinion, that he heard from all these people and what they did and the careers they built. And you know, Debbie, I'm a fitness person that's been, that made videos and you know, during a certain era and they've been on and I've been super successful with that. And like all of these things, you go, I get it, I get it, I get it. Then you go, nicole. Ivan, where, where does this, you know, Nicole. And this is the thing, nobody's stupid. Nicole, you're wearing a Rolex, you got gold, you're. You're bathing in gold. What's going on here? And what do you plan doing in five years? And Nicole's speech about when you're in your 60s as a woman and you go, well, my dad handles the accounting. That means dad gives me money that there's no other explanation. And I guess he's like a 90 year old accountant. He's got to be accountant. He's still, he, he's still on the. She's still on the payroll is what I kind of got from that. And then he does a. She does a thing where she's like, well, and she starts going into this like, I want to do a cookbook in my social. And like the minute she says the social media stuff, you could see Mel's like, I, I get it. He's not stupid. And they walk away from it and she's like, let me get a kiss for the camera. And I do think Nicole came on here to get a following. She came on here for the wrong reasons. I think she has a misunderstanding of what gets you a following from a dating show. I think she watches the Bravo shows and she thinks, oh, you just have to be the drama and you'll find your, your people who agree with your side of the drama. And like, I would love to see the, the, whatever the, the footage is on the cutting room floor of Nicole because I would assume the Bachelor producers, like, we have so much good stuff here, but it's not for this show. Like, you even see, she's like, people are giving negative energy. And I think the next, you know, next voting, you know, the next, you know, the next time he cuts, someone will lose a lot of that negative energy. She's talking as if the drama is something they're after. And I think with a dating show, you're after drama, but you're after reality. And you're after someone looking for love. You're after a Deb. You're looking for Debbie. You're looking for inspiration, you're looking for relatability. Coming on a dating show and cutting down the other women to try and, you know, win the guy is. Is not really a big part of this audience. And I think Nicole misunderstood that because we go to so, so we see this like, fake kiss she does and then. Which is like just. It's super transparent. She even says, get it for the cameras and they keep that in. And I think it's to show like, Nicole never really got it, what this is all about. Like, that's the production turning on Nicole. So now we go to Carol. Her date is in the yurt. They do this. They, you know, Shaman Danny is at full. Hilarious Shaman Danny, she's beating A drum saying to look for your inner child. It is all SNL sketch lines that shaman Danny would be saying in a spoof about a shaman Danny. So then Carol pulls Mel aside and is like, hey, I'm out of here. Which made total sense. She lives with. She leaves with dignity. She leaves with grace. They have a nice hug. It is all good stuff. And we're going to see the opposite version of leaving when Nicole leaves later in the episode. So now we come back to the house or we go to the one on one date. Cindy gets her one on one date. Not much here. The one on one date Cindy is. Cindy is in love, fun, beautiful into it. That's it. And. And wants to make Mel her priority. And. And really wants to be with someone. And I think Mel fits that bill. They meet. They're gonna go hiking up Griffith Park. Cindy even says it's on her bucket list to go to Griffith Park. I don't believe that for a second. I don't think anyone's bucket list item is to go to a park. You. A bucket list item is something you hope to achieve before death. It's not walking through a park. Okay, so then they go hiking. She's in cowboy boots. The. And she mentions the wrong shoe thing. That is the difference between, like, I need to impress him versus, like, I want to know if we're a match. Like, I think Cindy need. Feels the need to impress Mel because any normal person would go, hey, I'm changing my shoes. We. I. I know this looks. I'm not hiking in. In cowboy boots. So they go hiking, the cowboy boots. It feels like Cindy needs Mel a little bit. Is after Mel. And I think Mel likes that. You know, he gets his ego stroked. You're amazing. Look how hot you are. Oh, my God. You know, I'm, you know, Cindy playing the cheerleader. That's. She's a former cheerleader. This all makes sense as to why he'd be into her as much as she's into him. And they go horseback riding. You know, Mel's having trouble with the horse, but not really. And Mel. Mel, again, we see into his psyche a little bit how he's like, look at how old I am. And I just added a new skill. He makes that. That's a very, like, I am cocky athlete. University of Michigan. Michigan, man. Oh, look at me. I'm at this age. I'm getting on a horse. It's like, okay, we get who Mel is right now. It's like that's when he chose his personality. What? When he shows how, how cocky he is. And so then they get to the Griffith park and they sit on this like big blanket and the worst seating ever, which I wouldn't be into this, this chair that's on the ground. He's got, you know, he's lying back. Like if I lied back like this for a date, it would just be like the worst camera angle I've ever in my entire life. And then he gives her a star named after her which is like the, Here's a coupon for a free massage of bad gifts. They have a make out on the roof with the observatory. It's all cute and wonderful. No, it's. You could feel at the end of it, you go, Cindy is going to go to hometowns. It's going to be, she's going to be super happy with how the date went. And Mel gets to be, you know, the knight in shining armor, which is what he likes to be. So now we go to the rose ceremony and there's only a couple things to talk about. They give out iPads to everyone and they're like basically like, hey, call home and let them know you've come pretty far in this process, which I think is a nice thing to do. Hey. And everyone calls a loved one to be like, hey, get prepared, there might be a guy coming home. And Debbie talking to the sister is like the most long time single woman talking to her sister who's married conversation you've ever seen. It's a sister who you can tell that's like had these arguments with her and told her you need to download the apps. And the sister who's single, you know, because at this point the dust has settled and the sister has given up and she's going, good, you're bringing someone home. Peg talks to the daughter, Cheryl talks to her son and grandkids. And Nicole calls just a friend. And that's where you go, okay, Nicole, you know when you call just a friend a buddy, some woman you get wine with that you're probably going to have a falling out with in a couple months anyways, you go, okay, Nicole came here with a plan. Nicole came here to be again, the wrong reasons as she's admitted. She's been as open about being here for the wrong reasons as anyone has ever been on a reality show. So we get to the rose ceremony and the final rose goes to Debbie. It's going to be Cindy, Debbie and Peg, we're going to their hometowns. Cheryl leaves very peacefully. Nicely. You know, the whole thing. I, I feel for Cheryl, but she's. I don't see her as the next Golden Bachelorette, but she was great. And then Nicole, who does a huge eye roll when she doesn't get the rose. So she. She is just wanting to be a certain character archetype on this show. And then he leads her out and he really. She really does. The worst thing you can do is hug all these women, say goodbye, say how much you love them and how wonderful they are, and then you get with the guy afterwards and you're like, hey, when it doesn't work out with all these women that I just hugged and told how amazing and wonderful they are, when that ends, because it will call me. Because you can call me and I want. And she can't really mean that. She's like, you can call me and have a no strings attached hookup, which is like, as far as, like, the meanest thing you can do. Like, to the group of women there, it's high on the list. You basically saying, hey, guy who's on a show to commit. You could not commit and still get banged if you come to Miami. And it's like you've added this incentive to not pick any of the women that you just told were amazing. And if you're sitting there going, what? Incentive to go hook up in my. Yeah, I think there's incentive to, hey, I'm not ready. But there's someone out there who will hug and kiss me and make me feel less lonely. I have a woman to fall. I have a fallback plan that also doesn't include me having to get married and be, you know, responsible for someone. So it's really an evil thing. Because she doesn't mean that. She's saying that for the camera. She's saying that to create drama because she knows it will get on camera. She has already said earlier in the show, hey, kiss me. And then thanks him for kissing her. Because she's like, I know I'll get something on camera when we kiss. That is more camera time for me. Then she gets in the Uber and she's like, maybe you'll make me the next batch. Golden Bachelorette. And it's like, there's a couple rules here with becoming the next Golden Bachelorette. Next Bachelorette. Bachelor. You don't say it. She. Again, this kind of goes back to my theory. I think she watches Bravo shows and sees how people are successful on those shows and is related to this. This is not who we're cheering for on a dating show. If we saw Debbie going in the Uber and saying, maybe it'll never happen. That's who we want. Is the golden not, hey, after I'm done banging Mel, can you put me on the show? That's not who we're cheering for. So just a wonderful episode of the Golden. Let me know in the comments if you enjoyed what you enjoyed, any of the fun we had here. I'd love hearing back from you here on YouTube. Get subscribed if you hear this deep into the show. We do this every week, so back next week, boom.