The JTrain Podcast - Episode Summary: "Why did he ghost me?! - MONDAY MAILBAG"
Release Date: January 20, 2025
Host: Jared Freid
Podcast Description: Hosted by comic Jared Freid, The JTrain Podcast features conversations with great comedian guests as they read listener emails and answer questions about everything from hooking up and dating apps to relationships and post-grad problems. New episodes air every Monday.
Introduction to Mailbag Monday
[00:00] Jared Freid:
Jared kicks off the episode by introducing the format of Mailbag Monday, where he addresses listener-submitted questions and offers personalized advice on various dating and relationship dilemmas. He emphasizes his genuine approach, highlighting that his advice stems from personal experience rather than pretense.
Notable Quote:
"Advice is easier to give than take, so I understand that." ([00:30])
Email 1: Responding to an Older Man's TMI
Listener's Dilemma:
Peggy, a 28-year-old single woman, shares her uncomfortable experience meeting a 70-year-old man through a friend. The encounter involved a three-hour coffee date where he divulged excessive personal information (TMI), including past drug use and current interests in creating THC and CBD olive oil tinctures. Peggy seeks advice on how to gracefully distance herself without offending her mutual friend.
Jared's Analysis:
Jared delves into understanding Peggy's perspective, recognizing her discomfort with the man's oversharing and behaviors that felt inappropriate ("dirty old man"). He challenges the notion that age inherently dictates conversational boundaries, asserting that individuals across ages face similar dating challenges.
Notable Quote:
"There are three sides to every story. Your side, their side, and the truth that lies somewhere in between." ([05:20])
Advice Given:
-
Direct Communication:
Jared advises Peggy to communicate transparently with both her friend and the man. He suggests informing her friend that the introduction, while appreciated, didn't result in a romantic match. Subsequently, Peggy should reach out to the man directly, expressing her lack of romantic interest politely yet firmly. -
Setting Boundaries:
Emphasizing the importance of self-respect, Jared encourages Peggy to assert her boundaries without feeling guilty about her preferences.
Notable Quote:
"You have to hit him in the heart. You gotta go, 'Hey, man, great to meet you. This is not a romantic match for me. I wish you the best.'" ([15:45])
Sponsor Breaks
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Promo Code:
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DraftKings Sportsbook Advertisement:
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Responsible Gambling Message:
A reminder is provided for listeners to gamble responsibly, with resources available for those seeking help.
Email 2: Men Listing Credit Scores on Dating Profiles
Listener's Concern:
A listener questions why men include their credit scores on dating profiles, interpreting this as an attempt to showcase financial stability and attract partners.
Jared's Perspective:
Jared interprets the inclusion of credit scores as a strategic move by men to present themselves favorably, possibly to stand out in a crowded dating landscape. He connects this behavior to a broader trend of men using specific attributes to signal reliability and success.
Notable Quote:
"Anything a guy is putting on his profile is, 'Hey, I want to be a more attractive suitor.'" ([30:10])
Cultural Analysis:
Jared discusses how societal expectations influence dating behaviors, with men feeling pressured to demonstrate financial security as a prelude to romantic relationships. He critiques this approach, suggesting it can come off as insincere or superficial.
Notable Quote:
"They're trying to hack their way into your pants, is my true belief." ([32:55])
Advice Given:
-
Focus on Genuine Connection:
Jared advises listeners to prioritize meaningful interactions over superficial metrics. He encourages seeking partners who value personal compatibility over financial indicators. -
Profile Authenticity:
Suggesting a more authentic approach to dating profiles, Jared recommends showcasing personality and interests rather than quantifiable achievements.
Email 3: Ghosting After Intimate Dates
Listener's Dilemma:
A 24-year-old New Yorker describes her experience of ghosting after two intimate dates with a man she met through a dating app. Although the dates were promising and culminated in hooking up, the man ceased all communication shortly after. She seeks understanding and advice on why this happened and how to address it.
Jared's Analysis:
Jared explores the emotional impact of ghosting, especially following intimate encounters. He empathizes with the listener's confusion and frustration, recognizing the pain it can cause when expectations are not met.
Notable Quote:
"I don't think anyone should be ghosted, especially if you've been physical together. Like, that hurts. That's not nice." ([45:30])
Behavioral Insights:
Jared discusses how individuals may hide their true intentions or feelings, leading to inconsistent behaviors like ghosting. He emphasizes that ghosting often reflects the ghoster's inability to communicate effectively rather than the worthiness of the person being ghosted.
Advice Given:
-
Direct Communication:
Jared encourages the listener to confront the issue by reaching out to the man for clarity. He suggests expressing her feelings and seeking understanding to find closure. -
Self-Reflection:
He advises using the experience as an opportunity for personal growth, enhancing her ability to recognize red flags and assert her needs in future relationships.
Notable Quote:
"Stop being confused and start being turned off and start saying that to the person. Saying that to someone is not a weakness. It's a strength." ([50:10])
Conclusion and Final Remarks
Jared wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of open communication and self-respect in navigating the complexities of modern dating. He encourages listeners to continue submitting their questions, promising more insightful advice in future Mailbag Mondays.
Notable Quote:
"Keep sending your emails back next week. Boom." ([58:00])
Key Takeaways
-
Honest Communication:
Facing uncomfortable dating scenarios with transparency can lead to healthier relationships and personal empowerment. -
Authenticity Over Metrics:
Genuine connections trounce superficial indicators like credit scores in fostering meaningful partnerships. -
Handling Ghosting:
Addressing ghosting directly can provide closure and prevent lingering confusion and hurt feelings.
Final Notes
For more insights and personalized advice, listeners are encouraged to visit jtrainpodcastmail.com or follow The JTrain Podcast on Instagram. Support the show through ticket purchases at jaredfree.com or by becoming a Patreon member for exclusive content like "Coffee with J Train."
Disclaimer: The advice provided in this summary is based on Jared Freid's perspectives shared in the podcast episode. Listeners are encouraged to seek professional guidance for complex relationship issues.