Jared Fried (0:00)

It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there. I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag Monday. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Fried coming to you live from Alpharetta, Georgia. That's right, every Monday is a mailbag Monday. You the listener email or DM the J Train Podcast with your advice questions. And I answer them honestly. I answer them thoughtfully. Maybe it's funny, maybe it gives you a little laugh. I haven't read the emails yet. I have two that we'll get to on this episode if you want to send your email again. It can be really anything, any type of advice. And why me? Well, your friends lie to you. Your family lies to you. It's hard to give someone advice while looking them in the eye. You probably when someone gives you advice and I do this too, you, you'll go, oh, you disagree with them. You don't even let them get the advice in because you don't want to hear it. So send it here. Because I'm just going to talk. I'm going to maybe say some things that someone might not say to you. And I'm going to do it, though. I don't, I don't come here with any agenda. I'm not trying to sound right. I think most of the time I sound wrong. I sound, you know, I get afraid that I'm maybe offending and I don't want to do that. My goal is to just give a perspective. So all of this is to say, send in your emails. Life advice, friendship stuff, marriage, dating. I love a wedding conundrum. I'm always into stuff like that. But, you know, whatever you're going through, let's. And I think what it does for people is it's nice to hear everyone doesn't have it figured out. I don't. If you really want to hear me not having it figured out, sign up for the Patreon. Every week on Friday, I basically have a diary entry. It's called Coffee with J Train every Friday. And I go through the week that was. There's one sitting there right now where you can hear about dating struggles. I would say that it's about dating and relationships. And I have two stories that I told on last week's Coffee with J Train that I. The feedback has been very nice. People got a good laugh at it. Two true stories. One about being in LA and this makeup counter woman who said something to me. And then another one about being on a date and this woman fell over and I go to help her up and it's just all. It's actually, I'm like, I can't even believe these things happen. So go sign up for Patreon. Patreon.com Jared Freed it's five bucks a month and it gets you the extra podcast plus first dibs on ticked off Tuesday. And it's really like me, you know, you can there. That's where you get to hear me and my issues. So go sign up. And it, you know, in the money that goes towards that, that really goes back into the show production, that helps pay the producer that I, that I work with, V, who's fantastic. So that's really to keep this thing going. So and, and that, that combined with the ads. But you know, the ads, the ads are the ads, you know, so we, we're looking for different avenues, places to keep on chugging along. Okay, I'll, I'll stop with Plug City for myself. Oh, one more plug. This Friday is my birthday and on my 40th birthday I am flying to New Zealand to do shows in New Zealand and Australia. That feels like it's like. Honestly, as I talk about it now, it feels like it's years from now and then it's going to be this Friday. So I'm excited, I'm anxious, I'm all of the things with that. We had a change to the schedule in Australia. I want you to come to the shows or send this to someone who, you know, in that area I just don't have, you know, I took a chance. I was like, let's do this tour and hopefully we sell some tickets. Sydney sold out and I heard the club is awesome. So I'm excited for Sydney and we added a second show. So there's going to be a late show. So if you're out there and you have. You were maybe DMing me, hey, you know, is there any extra tickets for Sydney? Come to the Late Show. It's Nine O'Clock Show. Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide, Newcastle, I think that's it. But then we had Perth at the end and they said that tickets didn't sell well there. So they were like, do you want to cancel the Perth show where there's only a few tickets sold, and add a Sydney show where there seems to be a demand? And that was the business decision that I made. I got a couple dms. Oh my God. I was going to buy this week. This is kind of like why I ask you guys to like get involved early so that we don't have to like, oh, maybe we shouldn't do that. It's got to be worth it. It's got to be. It's got to make sense from all angles. And the other thing with Perth was like, it was basically, hey, do you want to take a cross country flight to do a show where 10 tickets are sold, then to come back to Sydney afterwards to fly home? And I'm like, at that point, let's just, let's just call it, maybe I'll go back the next time I go back, maybe I'll go to Perth at some time in the future. And now instead of Perth, I'm gonna go take a little vacation at the Great Barrier Reef. So all's well, it ends well. But that's just an explanation. Kind of inside of this game we call comedy. One last thing or a couple la. You know, I'll keep going actually. Let's get to the emails. Let's just get to it. I'll do my announcements. I don't know, I'm all over the place. YouTube. Here's, here's my thing. YouTube. There is a clip. I don't know if you saw my socials. I got heckled by Sacha Baron Cohen. Yeah, that's a crazy sentence that I just said. It was in tmz. There's like Night of a Thousand Stars. All these people are in New York for SNL 50 and they were at the Comedy Cellar to like work on their bits that they were going to do at some of the events. So I was on the show, on one of the shows where all these celebrities showed up and Sasha Baron Cohen was in the crowd. You can watch him. And I'm putting in quotes. Heckle me like he, he, he yelled out at a part. I asked for people to yelled out, but he was standing in the room and I then get into an interaction with him. So it is on my YouTube channel right now. You can go to it. I add a little like I add context with it to it. I just taped it here and Alpharetta. So. YouTube.com Jared Freed and then if you go to the u Up podcast YouTube channel, we have recapped episodes one through six of Love is Blind. So if you've watched Love is Blind over the weekend, there's a recap show waiting for you. We did an hour recapping all the couples that come out of the pods and then you can watch that. But like, you know, my ask of you is like, I. There's always an ask. And, and you know what? I believe, Believe to be compensation might mean nothing to you and means the world to me. Like, comment, share all of those things. I do consider compensation for putting out all this stuff on all the videos and all those things. And then, yeah, that's like, you know, to me, the patreon and liking and commenting are, you know, go in the same bucket to me. So I would love for you to go check out all these things and enjoy them and let me know how you felt and what you thought was funny. That really makes my day. So let's get to the emails. That's enough for announcements. I'm done with announcements. We have one ad I'll do in between the two emails. The ad, as as always, is in the description of this episode. Let's. Here's the title. Am I the drama or just tired of playing the waiting game? Oh, I like that title. This is good. Hi, Jared. You up? And the J train. Oh, I thought they were, like, being funny. The you up in the J drain has completely shifted my mindset on dating, and I wanted to say thank you for that. Well, I appreciate that. I think getting. I think it is hard to come by an honest male perspective. I think a lot of guys in this world are. I'm afraid, you know, I'm anxious about. I always. When we tape a podcast, I always go to the women of my life and, hey, does that sound like I'm, you know, am I off? Am I being mean? Am I. I don't want to. I want to be fun, informative, friendly. You know, I'm not looking the three F's. Fun, informative, friendly. That's. What am I? A loser? Okay. It's been really helpful, particularly having a male perspective. Thank you. With that said, I'm in a bit of a pickle. You know the hard part about putting, like, listen, I am not a dating expert. I've said that millions of times. The hard part is I've put out all this, like, dating advice and talk and perspective, really just perspective, like my own emotional state. And my. When I give out my opinion, it is my belief that Most people are 10% away from each other. There's the bell curve of people and emotional states and opinions, and all of us pretty much live in the fat part of the bell curve. So when I give how I feel on something, I think the guy you're dating is. Is within 10% of how I feel. Maybe 10% of the right, 10% of the left, but he's not 100% away. I promise you that that's something I Can bank on it gets frustrating because there's. There are people out there who are now calling themselves dating experts, dating coaches who have like, messaged me for advice and told me how great the podcast is. And now they're using my lingo and things I've said. And this sounds conspiratorial and crazy, I know, but it's, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm witness to this every day I get, I see it and I'm like, oh, that person used to DM me for advice and now look at. They're using that to go on other podcasts. So, okay, I'm in a bit of a pickle and would love your input. So here it is. I, female, 33, have been talking to a guy, 35, for a little over a month, have gone on four great dates. That's a date a week. I think that's great. That seems like appropriate, but it's, it's appropriate. Let me just say day to week for a month. Appropriate but clean. I do think to get to know someone, it's got to go outside the lines. It can't be so much a Google Cal invite. It's got to be how you would, you know, are you becoming friends? Are you getting to know each other or are you guys just appointments in each other's books? I and I'm saying that because I have this issue. I have been on dates with people. I'm like, are we getting to know each other or are we just, like, keeping up? I don't know. So I hear this. I again, I'm breaking this down. We have a connection and a ton in common. Everything seems to be going well. We talk daily. However, he waits about four to five days after our date to ask me on the next one. I get pretty anxious waiting to see when he'll ask me to ask to see me again. I ended up asking him out on. I ended up asking him out on two of our four dates because I got tired of waiting. I'm also not saying I need to see him two days after our previous date, but I'd like to at least have plans in place for the next time we see each other. It also gives me something to look forward to. Listen, you are. Your feelings are valid. I hear what you're saying. This is going to become. We've taped ahead for you up and a lot of what she's talking about is kind of a theme of the next month. If you go up to you up with benefits. We have A lot of conversations about this. Like this, like texting energy, this, this, this like the plans being made are we. The, the idea and this, the elusive momentum. Momentum in dating matters. And it's the thing that married people, relationship people forget it matters. They, they'll go, oh no, you got a date. They, they won't give you what you want from them. Your married. It is the first thing they forget is momentum and how important that is because when you talk to them about it, they, they kind of like poo poo you. They go, oh, no, no. Well, you have a date, what do you want? And it is like a, a wish to a genie gone wrong. I wish that I would have consistent dates with someone. And then you get that and you're like, well, we don't text in between and there's no talking and there's no. All the other stuff that you're like, it doesn't matter, but it does. So I hear you. Like, I can sense this, that, that paragraph I just read. You're. You're unhappy, but you can't complain. And that's the worst. That's why the, that's why the Tuesday TikTok Tuesday exists. There is nothing worse than being unhappy but not able to complain because you're in that. You are boxed in. You're in a headlock. You're getting the date once a week. So shut the fuck up and take what you wanted. Well, I don't get texted enough. Who cares? We don't care. You're getting a date. Would you rather be alone? Don't you like the person I'm impersonating? The person that would. That's what it feels like they're saying to you. It's a problem. I feel this person's pain because they're like, can't it just be easy? What. Why am I doing this? And here's what I would say to you. The person you're dating that you have a connection with and you have a lot in common with, he's not just dating you. That's what I would say to you. I do think they're dating other people. What level they're at. Or I wouldn't say that they're cheating on someone. I'm saying they're in this big fat bowl of people that are dating. They're in this, you know, they're in the, at the most empathetic, at the most positive. I can look at this. This is someone who's like on the app, still talking to, enjoying your company, but also, you know, opening up new conversations. And that's where his attention is going. It's attention is a pie chart. He's giving it to you exclusively. Probably not. My question is, how can I communicate that I would prefer to make future plans shortly after our dates versus texting for five days, then scheduling the date without coming across as too much. I don't believe in to anything. I think right now it is fair to say you are turned off by how the planning is going. And this is like woman's intuition. Like, I think women's intuition is just how it's like. Like, it's like how we describe, like, feeling turned off. Like, it's not that you're like, I know something's up. It's like, no, I feel let down by the plan making and now I have to call it women's intuition. So I don't feel like, too much. I don't think you're too much. I think I've considered saying something like, I love talking to you and I want to continue that, but I really only want to stay connected on a daily basis. As long as we have plans to see each other in person as well. Man, that was who. That made me almost fall asleep. That was like a lawyer wrote it. And listen, I'm here with you. I'm holding your hand right now. I agree with your feelings that I love talking to you and I want to continue that, but I really only want to stay connected on a daily. This is someone you're dating that you feel connected to. This is only. I get it. But I'm worried this comes across as an ultimatum, which seems like too much too soon. No, no, no. Stop this. Stop this. I think it's okay to feel. Here's the thing. It is. You're at the negotiation table. All you need from this person, this guy you're seeing, whether it's a month or years, 10 years, two months. Whatever length of time you're seeing with someone, you just want to be negotiated with. Being negotiated with is a relationship that's good if they're at the table with you. You are communicating. You are getting to know them. You're. You're letting them know your feelings. You've been on four dates over the course of a month. You've talked, you've probably written thousands of words over text. Okay? You have a right to have feelings about what this is. What this is, is moving at a snail's pace. And you want this to go from, you know, you biding your time for another day versus like, am I really, like, Dealing with a friend. Like, am I getting to know this person more than just an appointment on the calendar? Which I would feel like I was at this point. Like, this is where it sounds like you're talking about. So here's my. Here's a couple things. And it's funny because it's like some of this is going to be me asking you to do more than you probably want to do. But when you do more than you want to do, all you're doing is acting honestly. And then you're going to get responses that will give you a chance to say something. So what do you mean, Jared? So my point is, like, you're texting. Like, I. You need to go from. And I talked about this on you up. And I think this is like one of my favorite things that I've. What a douche I am. This is my favorite thing I've said. I just like this. I like this metaphor. I'm such an idiot. I don't even know the word. I like this visual. I think you guys are going on back alley dates and you need some more Main street dates. Back alley dates are the ones that happen that no one knows about. Just you two going to dinner, you two, once a week. That's a back alley date. That is. It is transactional. It's a meeting. Main street dates are things you would do with a partner amongst friends, the light of day. Something that is a way to get to know each other. So my advice to you is to be a little. You want, you want more, you gotta have. You gotta offer more in a way that's like, not these back alley dates. So what. So what would I do? Hey, I'm out right now. Come meet me. You know, hey, I'm, you know, because you. Your issue is that you're making the plans. I think we can get beyond this. I think you said you made two of the four. You're keeping tallies, which sucks. I just think, hey, I just did a fitness class. I just did a class at Barry's. Or I just did a solid core. I just did a spin class. I'm gonna have a glass of wine. You want to meet up? I think you need some more casualness. I think you need to be doing stuff with this guy who you have a connection with. You said you like, okay, let's start being friends. How would you go out with a friend? How would you meet up with a friend? How quickly would that happen? Does it take two weeks to meet up with a friend? Some do. But your best friends, your Closest friends, the ones that are nearby, the ones that you live in the same area as that are single. None of those can happen quick. Not your married friends. I'm talking about your single friends. You'd go, hey, I'm out right now. I think I have a glass of wine. You want in? You need to make it so easy to hang out with you. That then, because let's say he get, well, I can't tonight, or doesn't answer your text, or suddenly his text takes longer to get back to you. Now you're in a position where it's like, hey, I've been trying to, like, get to know you as a friend, and I'm feeling a little let down. I felt like we were like, at that level that I could have, like, a Saturday afternoon, like, I'm having coffee, come meet me for coffee. I think you need to, like, get less appointment, more random. That's my advice to you. Because if someone said that to me, if I had been on four dates over the course of the month and someone said to me, and again, this is the male perspective. This is the other side of things, hey, I'm out in your area. Come meet up. I'd either go because I'm excited to see them again, or I'd get anxious that, like, damn it, I've lost control of one of the people I've been trying to get to know, and I'm not at that level. I would feel a little anxious by someone that I wasn't, like, gung ho about. And I know that's scary to hear. I know you're sitting there going, oh, my God, I don't want to have to hear the answer to that. Well, this is. This is the move. I don't think. I love talking to you, and I want to continue that, but I really only want to stay connected on a daily basis as long as we have plans to see each other in person as well. That is asking. That's the what are we? Conversation. That's not even vulnerable. I know it sounds vulnerable, because I love talking to you and I want to continue that. Like, I just think it's easy to lie to that if someone said, I love talking to you, I want to continue. No, that I love talking to you, too. That's great. I definitely want to see you more often. I'll make sure to make the plan the minute we leave the restaurant. No worries. It wouldn't be me being. I wouldn't feel it as much of an ultimatum. Everything's an ultimatum. Cut the shit with that I don't want to give him an alt. Everything's an ultimatum. Because every time someone offers me a plan or hey, I want to do something, I respond. And then that person gets to judge my response. The idea that, like, you do this or do that, no, no, no, hey, let's go on a date next week. And then they don't get back until the next week. Okay, yeah, I think I can do this week. Well, they. They made a decision, and then you got to feel good or let down. That's an ultimatum to me. So to me, you need more Main street dates. If I'm you also, hey, I'm out with my friends. Want to come meet up? We're having drinks, you know, or we're having coffee. We're in the park. I think you need the more random hang to feel better about this. I think you need less appointments, more. More like casual. Jtrain podcastmail.com J train podcast. What the fuck was that? I don't even know if you can hear that because this mic's pretty good. There was a. Someone just started their car. Someone's got a huge cock. They started their car the loudest I've ever heard. We're sponsored. Eating well shouldn't take up your whole day. Factor makes it easy. With meals you can heat and eat in just two minutes. 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You always make more than you probably should. Factor's gonna have good portions. Creativity factor's gonna have meals that you would Never make for yourself. You have grilled chicken and salmon and those are your two moves. Factor. And then you get to grilled chicken, salmon, grilled chicken, salmon. Then you're like, ugh, fuck it, I'm gonna order out. I don't want to do that again. Factor's gonna keep it creative so you stay on it longer. The meals are top tier. The convenience is incredible. Eat smart with factor. Get started@factormeals.com Factorpodcast. Use code Factor podcast to get Factor 50. 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code Factor podcast at Factor meals.com Factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. I have had factor. I love it. I think it's been great for me. You're going to love it too. Okay, we got one more email situation. Shit, I like that turn of phrase. Papa J. Feather, feather. Someone asked me what feather feather meant. I guess I'll do a recap. Back in the day, in this early time of this podcast, I would say that when you share the show, it felt like you were feathering my nuts. We used to do like long, you know, poems about it and we try. I guess I grew out of it, but it still applies. It feels good when you share the show. When you make it, your Instagram story feels like a feather. Just up and down the seam of my nuts. I need some fucking help. Okay. I've been talking to this guy for about nine months. That's a full baby. It's long distance. He has come to visit me once and I've gone to visit him and I've gone to visit him once. Okay? We Talk every day. FaceTime every night. Sex is great when we've been together. Well, have you only been together twice? Talk about the future and potentially moving in together. Even frickin marriage. Ah, you are. You are too far ahead. One teeny issue. This dude will not ask me to be his girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, stop. I. I think this is a problem. And this is the problem with texting and phone calls. And again, like our previous email, they want in person encounters to get to know them. We gotta walk before we run. You're long distance. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those girls that needs some big gesture. See, now you're even. Like, this is what happens a lot. I'm not asking for much. All I want to do is know that he's my boyfriend or my girlfriend and it's like, no, you're asking for your feelings to be validated or Have a ton of. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls that need big gestures or have a ton of theatrics when it comes to putting a little. Putting a title on things. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls that needs some big gesture or have a ton of theatrics when it comes to putting a title on things. This happens every fucking time. And it's very. I'm just going by emails I've received from women over the years. I've been doing this over a decade. It's this, like, I want to be his girlfriend, but I'm not one of those people that needs to have theatrics or a title on every. No, no, no. Own it. You have been seeing this person for nine months and they're your boyfriend. You would like them to call you their girlfriend. I do think you have other issues at play. But, like, let's simplify. You're already making it difficult. All my friends consider him my boyfriend. See, we basically act like it, but he specifically says things like, I'm going to ask you to be my girlfriend one day. I just need to work on myself. Yeah, that's. That's not good. Or he'll legit joke about our situationship and be like, this just works. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm literally going crazy and just want to be like, why can't we just be boyfriend and girlfriend? But I don't want to be a psycho. No, you're not being a psycho. But I also don't want to waste my time. You've already wasted your time. I'm sorry to say that. I. I'm just saying you've. And I know you're writing into me and I'm just telling you, let's acknowledge you have wasted time. The guy has some mental health issues, okay? As do we all. But she wrote that. But I agree, that's not an excuse for like, here's the thing. Mentally, he's able to acknowledge that you should be in a relationship and then. And then makes fun of that and calls it a situationship. He. I understand we all have problems. I don't know what his issues are, but I'm like, I'm saying you can't be. When you say this, when you give. When you're letting him off the hook for mental health issues, but he's able to fuck with you about this situationship and says it just works. Which is it? Are you. Are. Do you have Mental health issues. Do you not. Can you not handle things, but you can handle making fun of the fact that I want more than this? But you're saying this just works. That's my point. And that's what annoys me with this whole, like, I'm gonna use this shield of please be aware of my issues. But they're not giving that back to you by being aware of your issue, which is you are in a relationship that is underwhelming you. The guy has some mental health issues, as do we all. But I don't know, I just don't think that's a reason to be like, ooh, one day. No, I'm with you. It's not like a damn proposal. Do you have any advice before my goddamn head explodes? Thank you. Love you. F your situationship. Well, here. Stop tough talking. F your situation. I know that it's your sign off, but, like, you're in it. F your situationship. No, no, no. Our situationship. You're in it again. Let me go back to the negotiation table metaphor again. I don't know the word. The imagery of the negotiation table. You are at the negotiation table with him, and he is not giving in, and you're just giving into his demands. You're not getting what you want. You have to go back to that table. The long distance doesn't help this, because to me, to me, if you want to hear my, like, honest opinion, you being with him kind of like this whole long distance thing is part of the whole thing. And it's. I can. I can speak. I think you're both in a long distance relationship because it helps you not have to be face to face with your own issues. So he has someone that he can text every day, that he can lean on mentally, that he can FaceTime with, that tells him how great he is. And then he doesn't have to, like, do anything with you because the distance. And we'll get to. And then he gets to plan a trip to see you where you're. He can be a boyfriend for a weekend. Anyone can be a boyfriend for a weekend. You are getting something out of this as well. You have someone that is. Is, you know, that texts you and calls you and cares about you, and you have this excuse of, well, we're long distance. And that's why things are the way they are. The whole thing that bring up marriage, bringing up, you know, a future together. Those are things you say when you have nothing else to talk about, when you have no shared experiences. You're just speaking in the, in the hypothetical. So I'm saying this to. Not because I think you're crazy, because this happens. You're not alone. This isn't such a special problem. This is something that happens to a lot of people. You know, I, I've been in this. I understand this. I would say to you, you have to say, I, I think you gotta go talk to friends and family. Like you say your friends see him as your boyfriend. I. This, this also involves, like, going to a professional. I'm not that, like, seeking, you know, going to therapy and talking about this with a therapist of, like, why am I engaging with someone that is actively making me unhappy on a daily basis? So that's kind of for the professional. If I were you, I would go to this guy and be like, hey, I call you my boyfriend if you can't call me your girlfriend. This needs to end. And honestly, it's like the smallest gesture in the world. He's not even in the same city as you. He can say whatever the fuck he wants to everyone. The reason he's a void. This is because I call this a pre breakup. He's avoiding this label because he's trying to make your future breakup with him, which will happen easier on him because he can go, well, we weren't, you know, together and I, I don't, I can't go to the. It gives him a reason to get out. Hey, I can't get there because of my mental health, so we're gonna have to end this. So I, and I'm giving you a lot of honesty right now, and I, and I feel for you because this sucks. But I think if you said to him, hey, I need you to be my boyfriend or I have to leave. I have to go find someone who will be my boyfriend who wants to be in a relationship. We can't be married if this first step doesn't happen. And I just think the distance is the reason for all of this. I think the distance is a crutch. I think the distance is. Gives you the excuse for why it's not moving. Like if you were in the same. Let's take away the distance. Let's say you live down the street from one another. What would you do tomorrow? You'd call him to go hang out, hey, FaceTime me. Well, forget FaceTime. Let's go come over and watch a movie. And then he'd have to do something. He doesn't have to do that right now. So that's why it's, it's at a. This is as Good as it can get. This is as strong as a relationship you can get. If you think of this relationship without the distance you guys. I mean, you know, I don't know if you have a planned date to see each other. You've seen each other. He came to you once. You went to him once. This is to me. You know, you guys hook up and you talk every day. The phone has ruined this thing. And I get it. I do this too. You get you're farther ahead over the phone than you are in person. So here would be the two things I would do if I were you. It would be, hey, I need two things. A plan to see you soon and for you to call me your girlfriend. If you can't do both of those things, if we can't, like, book the tickets now and get it on paper, I'm going to have to end this. And I don't think we can talk anymore. I know you may have not come for this feedback, but this is the only feedback there is. This is. This isn't gonna be what you want the minute someone's, like, talking about marriage, but you can't even, like, get to your. Get to be calling a boyfriend girlfriend. That is a. That's trickery. That's grifting. That's getting you to quiet down. You know, it's showing you his right while doing something with his left. Hey, marriage. So it calms you so that you don't ask the actual questions, which is like, hey, when do I see you for dinner? Soon. What's our plan? To not be distance? How. I would. I. These are questions I would ask him. When do you see us not being a long distance relationship? Um. Um. Um. He'll have no answer. When do you see me being your girlfriend? When. When do you see me? When do you see you being done working on yourself? I. I would ask those questions. He'll have no answer. Listen, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this is Mailbag Monday. Back next week, boom.