Uncle J Train (0:00)

I know you're angry. It's Tuesday and it has no feel. The weekend was fun. You're still hungover from the eating and next weekend is too far away. What will you do with your day? It's time to get ticked off. Complain with your gripe. Right now your friend Uncle J Train is here to tell you that you're right. It's a ticked off Tuesday. Ticked off Tuesday. You're angry and you don't even know why. Enjoy this podcast. It'll help you get to Friday.

Jared Freed (1:08)

Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Lisbon, Portugal. That's right, every Tuesday it's a ticked off Tuesday. Are you mad? Are you angry? Do you got something to get off your chest? Well, I want you to write into this show jtrain podcastmail.com that's jtrain podcastmail.com the premise of ticked off Tuesday is you can complain to me about anything and I will complain with you. It is a complaint duet. I will find a way to see you, hear you, validate you and I might even find an angle that you didn't even think of to make you more angry. So if you want to be a part of the show, send it to J train podcast gmail.com. but we do have a Patreon now. The Patreon, it gets you first dibs at complaining every. We have four complaints today. All of them are from Patreon members. So using the email address, yes, it gets you in the pot, but the Patreon people go to the top of the list. So if you want to sign up for that patreon.com Jared Freedom. Five bucks a month. It gets you coffee with J Train and then you comment on coffee with J Train with your complaint and then we move it over here. So that's how it all works. If you're, you know, I'm gonna get into a complaint I have from traveling here. So I have one complaint. I'll do it first and then we'll get to the four complaints from listeners. It's gonna be, we're gonna do this is gonna be a slim, a svelte episode. I'm sitting here in Lisbon. I travel here today from London. I, I will get into the London show, traveling to Lisbon, all the Lisbon stuff. Portugal. I'm going to compard with my brother and his wife. So I, my sister in law, I'm not good at using the sister in law phrase. I've never really, I, I, I guess I would call her by her name and it wouldn't be brother and his wife isn't how I was. I would say Harry and Ruthie, but okay, that's just some languaging stuff. I just had, you know, sister in law. When I hear that I, I, I'm like trying to, to like connect the dots. I'm like taking out the red string and putting the picture of the name and where everyone goes from. Okay, listen, so if you want to hear all about that, all you got to do. And if you want first dibs on Tik Tok Tuesday, sign up for Patreon. Patreon.com Jared Freed we have one sponsor. I'll do my complaint, we'll do the sponsor and then we'll do the listener complaints. Easy, breezy, beautiful covergirl. And listen, if you want to share this show, a great way to share this show is going to the Instagram account at J Train podcast and sharing whatever clip we've put out for the day. So that's a fun way to share the show. A passive way because everyone's got 200 followers on Instagram. Share to your story. Share it with a friend on TikTok. We're putting it on TikTok. I'm on TikTok at Wizard of Ah. I have a different name on TikTok. Don't even ask. Okay, here's my complaint. I traveled from London to Lisbon today. Now I stayed at the Bow Tree Hotel, which is a beautiful five star hotel to go to Plug City. It was all worked out by Skylark. And that is a travel, you know, advisory place that I think you should all kind of look into. They helped me out. They got me a couple free nights at a very nice hotel. Their whole deal is that you can sign up for their. This is, this is a, this is basically an ad without, you know, they helped me get it. I met with the guy who started it. They have this thing called the Wanderlux program and it gets you 40 off if you, if you're willing to be a spontaneous traveler and book within a month of going. I think it sounds like something that could be great for you. I, I am signed up. I'm, I'm a fan. So I'm staying at the Boat Tree. It's a hotel I would recommend. It's beautiful, it's wonderful, it's awesome. I wake up and, and I have this issue at all hotels I stay at. So I'm complaining about this specific experience. But this is something I've noticed no matter where I go. And I, and I really think It's a simple ask. I go downstairs. My flight is from London Gatwick Airport, which I guess I would call their JFK or their LaGuardia. It's. It's another London airport. I would guess it would be comparable to LaGuardia because he throws the one where, you know, you're going international. It's the jfk. I would assume again, you might correct me if you're from there. I don't give a. It's not. This isn't what I'm just saying. Another airport in London. That is something I'm not used to. It's not Heathrow. Heathrow. I actually took the public transportation and it was wonderful. It got you from Heathrow straight to downtown. It was like a dreams. And I talked about this on coffee with J Train. It was so simple and easy. And I'm not a public transportation from the airport guy. I am a snob. Okay? Admittedly, someone was like. And then I was saying that LaGuardia has no public transportation. And someone wrote that, like, no, you can take the bus. And I'm like. A shivered went down my spine. The idea of taking the bus from the airport. Not going to be me. Good for you. Not going to be me. So to me saying you can take the bus from LaGuardia is like, have. You should try the fruit. No, off with the bus. Off with the fruit. I didn't say I'm hungry because I want to have some fruit. Nobody says, oh, I'm so hungry, and then goes, oh, there's fruit. I had no idea. No, no, no. When you say, oh, I'm hungry, that means you want something disgusting and bad for you. You don't want fruit. This is something my dad does. Try the fruit. It's sweet as sugar. I don't give a. I don't think the. The fruit could make me literally come my pants. I don't care, okay? I don't want fruit. Don't suggest fruit. When I say I'm hungry, it's actually. I take that as an insult. I'm hungry. You should have the fruit. Are you saying something? You saying I shouldn't be having normal food like a normal person? You saying I have a weight problem, so I'm off the rails. So I'm going from London Gatwick to. To Lisbon. Today, everything went great, but I was confused on how to get from city center downtown London to London Gatwick Airport, because again, different airport than I'm used to. Also, when you go look it up, it says it's an hour and 15 minutes away from the city. And I'm like, with no traffic. And I'm like, hour 15. That can't be right. That's like. That's 15 minutes longer than an airport should be from the major city to be called the major city airport. That's my opinion. It should be called Gatwick Airport, not London Gatwick, because I don't think you're really servicing. It should just not be called London Airport if you're an hour and 15 minutes away from downtown London. That's my opinion. That's not the complaint. So I then looked at public transportation and it was like, you can walk to the. The train station and take this train to that train. It wasn't really as simple as going to Heathrow. Looked on Google Maps and it. I didn't know if one was a train or a bus. Again, I'm not looking to bus to the airport. If there's a bus involved. I'm taking an Uber. So the uber, hour and 15. The train, one hour. And I'm like, that, you know, an hour train, that's way better. But I'm like, I'm just a little confused and I'm out of place and I'm out of my own country and I have questions. So I come downstairs to the lobby and there's like six people in the lobby hanging out. And everyone at this hotel was very helpful. I'm just saying, I said to two of the guys, I go, hey, I'm going to London Gatwick Airport. What would you suggest? Car service, Uber or public transportation? These guys folded like a chair. There was no answer. If you work at a hotel, if you're in the front lobby, there should really be only a few things. You are just damn confident how to check me in, what time the bar closes, the WI fi password, and how to sign on. And. And what are the airport options? Just come at me with confidence and just say, hey, man, you can take an Uber, that's an hour 15, or you go to this train that takes you to that train, and that's how you get to London Gatwick. You should have a direct answer. This was like you would have thought I was asking them to translate how to get to the airport in another language. We all speak English. I'm in London. Hey. And it shouldn't even be a question. Hey, I'm going to London Gatwick. What are the options on how to get there? That's really what I'm asking. And then I said, is an Uber better? Is public? Transportation better. Should I go? And they were like, well, it's going to take a long time. It is a far away. And I'm like, every minute we spend discussing this is a risk of me missing this flight. Like, I'm not asking this for tomorrow or the next day. I'm asking for today. And this is the hotel. Everyone at the hotel is here from somewhere else. So we can assume that you might get this question one or two times an hour. Not. Not a week, not a day, an hour. So I'm looking at him and he goes, well, and it's two of them. It's not even just one guy. I'm asking around. I'm literally, like, polling the room. Hey, London Gatwick, how would you do it if. If you were me? And I do understand there might be this thing of, like, I don't want to tell someone to spend money that they're not looking to spend, but just give me the options. It's two options. Transport, public transportation or Uber. Hey, it takes an hour 15 by Uber if you're lucky. If you want to take public transportation, I would go to that station. Take it to this station, and you go from this line. It takes you right to the airport. Just come at me with some confidence, because I have none. I'm not from here. You are here all the time. And this isn't just the boatree. This is every hotel I stay at. This seems to be an issue. They don't want to tell you because they don't want to be responsible for you being late for your flight. So they don't want that being put on the hotel. I would much rather they come out with a definitive opinion on getting to the airport than just me sitting there looking at them like, are you saying anything to me at all? This whole riddle that they're giving me so that they won't get blamed for me being late, I'm willing to make my own decision. Just give me some explanation and a strong explanation. That's all I want from every hotel I stay. And I guess the reason it angers me. I'm complaining here today because it's ticked off Tuesday, is because this is a hotel. This isn't me asking the guy at Chipotle, hey, how long is it to get to the airport? That guy, I'd understand. I'm going. I don't know. I don't answer this question a lot. You're. You're the hotel. You're in the lobby. This is what the lobby's for. Wi Fi password. Hey, I Can't get into my room. Hey, I need the housekeeping. How do I get to the airport? How would you do it? How do you. What's the. Honestly, the hotel. The hotel should have a stance. The hotel should have a. Literally one of those cards that they hand you with the WI fi password that says this is our airport suggestion. Jtrain podcast@gmail.com J train podcast. Com we are sponsored Factor I think Factor. This is the time of year for it. It's summertime. You want to, like, do some happy hours. You want to meet up with friends. You don't want to have to, like, think about dinner. This is a great, efficient way to stay healthy. Get some food in you that's delicious and the right portion, and stay on track with whatever fitness goals you're looking to achieve. We've all been there. You're hungry, but the only thing in the fridge is half a packet of soy sauce. Factors Here to turn things around. 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Night five for your healthy, easy, breezy meal. You're probably not eating as healthy as you'd like. This is Night 5 stuff. Get started at Factor Meals.com jtrain50off use code jtrain50off to get 50% off. That's that's free money, people, plus free shipping on your first box. That's code jtrain50off@ Factor Meals.com jtrain 50off free for 50% off plus free shipping. Factor Meals.com j train50off I got four complaints. If you want to be a part of ticked off Tuesday. The best way to be a part of it is to sign up for Patreon. Plus, you're going to hear about my Portugal trip. You're going to hear about Comparte, you're going to hear about London, in addition to the complaining I just did about that won't be on Tik Toff Tuesday. We don't repeat that. So here we go. Jared, huge fan of you have been to every tour you have done. Please come back to Austin Storm soon. Thank you, thank you, thank you. On that subject, I'm doing shows. I'm all over the country. Us, Canada. It's called the Table for One tour and it's an hour of new material from the Netflix special. Also, it's an hour of new material from the Family Business tour special special that was taped that hasn't come out yet. So I still am doing one joke from that hour currently to like, it's my binky right now. I'll be. I'll be done with it. Probably I'll have to be done with it by this weekend because I'm gonna be in Stanford, Connecticut. Stanford, Connecticut, where I've done that show. So we're gonna be doing all new material from now on. Here we go. It's gonna be. Come with me on this journey of new material. So here's what's ticking me off lately. I travel for work, which means I basically live at the airport. I roll in with two laptops, sometimes an iPad, a charger that weighs more than a toddler, and vibes that scre through. But when I see an airport without the new X ray machine, you know, the ones where you don't have to unpack your entire life. My soul leaves my body. Now. I am someone who travels a lot, as you know. If you've listened to my show at any time and seen my Instagram, see my social media, I don't know the machine you're talking about, but I do know how annoying it is to know that there's machines that are lesser than and better than. And it should because I have the machine at LaGuardia that there's one. If you go to the TSA PRE and you know, and. And if you go to the Delta. Not the Delta, the. The thing where they take a picture of your face and you don't need anything. Not clear, but it's like even more digital 3D. Whatever it is, it's this other line they have at the laguardia. If you go to the left, there's a quicker. You know, you just put your stuff on the. On the. On the. On the ramp, and you slide it on through. The other one is one where it has, like, three spots, and you put your stuff on, and it. You. You have to push your stuff forward, and then your stuff won't push forward until it goes on this, like, algorithmic, you know, version. You know, the person next to you, they go first, and then you go next, and then the person three down goes first, and then theirs goes twice in a row. And it bothers me because it's like this one that goes so fast, that doesn't have this, like, stop gap is so much better. So, I mean, but I understand what you're saying. Like, it does annoy me that there's. We have the technology suddenly. So this person writes, you know, the ones where you don't have to unpack your entire life. I don't know. My soul leaves my body. Suddenly I'm doing a TSA striptease. Laptop out. Laptop two. Laptop one out. Laptop two out. Oh, surprise, there's an iPad. Let's just open up my entire carry. Doing a magic trick for everyone behind me. And now for my next act. Watch me pull a third charging cable out of this side pocket. Why do some airports have the cool, futuristic machines and others feel like I'm entering the basement of a DMV in 2006? It's 2025. We have cars that can park themselves and fridges that talk back. Why am I still unpacking my electronics? Like, I'm moving into TSA's apartment? Signed, TSA. Traumatized. I'm with you. It. There is no. I. Here's where I agree with your complaint. There is no. There's no singularity when it comes to these TSA machines. It seems like we have, like, seven different kinds. So what happens is you get used to one way of going through security, and then you go to the next one, and they go, oh, no, you have a. You have a watch on, and you're like, wait a minute. We. We said no. Watches are fine, then they're not fine, Then hats are fine, then they're not fine. And now your jacket and your sweatshirt that goes on, that comes off. If we had uniformity. Uniform. Is that the word? Then we would all go quicker if we all just knew and we stuck to one brand, one type, and if they're gonna bring in a new brand, make it so. It is getting us so much better than the last version that we're excited for the new brand. Like if they said to us, hey, these are the ones where you take out nothing and someone was ahead of it and started teaching us as they got better brands and better versions, that would be fine. But it seems as though there is no na. This is tsa. You would think this is a national organization and the messaging would be singular. But it does seem like airport to airport again, to go back to my version that bothers me. It's not that I take out stuff, it's that one is just incredibly slow because they're allowing for people that are in. You know, if you're in spot one, it goes first and then spot two and then spot three. It doesn't go by who's just throwing their stuff on and is ready to go, which you and I probably are as frequent flyers. We're ready to go throw my stuff on. I'm ready to get going. I don't need to take out 40 things. If you have. And again, regular frequent flyers, we know the deal. We are trained. So how about you have some uniformity to your training. Don't come at us with seven different machines and we have to pull out, you know, a picture book to see which TSA X ray machine we're getting that day so that we know what to take out and what we don't have to take out. Jtrain podcast@gmail.com. keep sending them in. J train podcast, gmail.com. i got three more listener complaints. We love a listener complaint. Ticked off Tuesday, Bad beats and Pilates. Jared, just want to say I assembled the group chat and we got tickets to your Chicago show. Thank you. We can't wait for the new tour. Also, loving the current J Train format. It's the perfect length for errand running. Love it. Thank you. Okay, here's my ticked off Tuesday, bad music at group fitness classes. I am so with you. This is something. Cuz there's a fix. And I've been thinking about this for years. Since March, I've been doing a weekly Pilates class and the music has been consistently meh. But last night, 50 straight minutes of slow, soul crushing breakup ballads. Oh my God. That's the other problem. You're. You're. You're, you know, Pilates teacher has a bad night. All of a sudden, Pilates teacher's boyfriend is. Is. Is. Didn't. You know? Didn't text her back. And now you're in Celine Dion's slow music ville. Horrible. I didn't sign up to spiral into emotional despair. I'm legitimately considering canceling My membership because I dread the playlist. Isn't fitness supposed to be energizing and uplifting? I totally agree with you. This is a problem I have always thought, because I, I go to spin class with my dad and mom. My mom sometimes goes, my dad is very consistent. And when I go with him, he claims, he thinks that a spin class, like he thinks that there's no difference between him doing the bike at home and going to a spin class. And I go, and my argument to him, it's like nature versus nurture. We have this argument every single time. And I say to him, no, the point of the spin class is that the teacher takes you to a place that you alone could not do. The teacher puts you in a mental state that makes you go harder than you would have gone had you been alone and forcing yourself to do it. That's how motivation works. That's where, that's where a good teacher becomes a great teacher. Someone who's counting down and making it. So it's. A good teacher in a fitness class is a great communicator. So. And a good teacher in a fitness class has a good playlist. But I would say that not all teachers are all things. Not all teachers are good playlist, good communicator, good trainer. So here was my fix. I always thought there should have been one resident DJ that worked for the whole company. Again, uniformity, just like the TSA X ray machines, just make it a company wide playlist that changes every day. So Monday through Sunday you would get a new playlist that is uplifting, that is meant to get you to a place. Wouldn't that be great? And it's. And again, this should be different for Pilates than it should be. And it should be different for like a Barry's Boot Camp. And some would say, well then how will the teacher. Because there is. You do lose something with this. If you make it nationwide, if you make one, you know, playlist DJ and the DJ would become famous, it would be like the. To me, it would be the same type of effect that a peloton instructor would get. Like, this would be a huge job. Even if they did city to city. If every city for Barry's Boot Camp had their own DJ and you go, oh, okay, I'm gonna be trained by this teacher, but I'm gonna get the DJ in this city. And because there is moments during the class where the music takes you to another place and they're the, the feedback from the teachers would say, well, I like when my music matches my countdowns that we would lose. I'm willing to lose the countdowns that go with the music to gain the best music that pumps me up and brings me to a place that makes me want to run through a wall. And I don't want to deal with the emotional state of a teacher on that particular day or I don't want to deal with the teacher that's like, eh, I got the same playlist this month. I'll do it next month. Because I do think it is a secondary thing to most of these teachers. So for you, the Pilates class, this person might have been going through a moment and then like, oh, I'm going to play my, my sad music today because I'm feeling sad and it makes me happier in my class. Good for them. But not your. But now it's your fucking problem. Now it's your problem. Now you got to deal with the bad music. Now you got to go to Taylor Swift cry town and think about an ex that left you. You don't want that. You came to the gym to run through a wall to attack your next boyfriend or girlfriend. Well, not attack your next boyfriend. That sounds, that sounds bad. Okay, let me take that back. You're going there to like attack the day so that you find your next boyfriend or girlfriend. There we go. That's. That's a better visualization. Again, this is what I'm talking about, the visualization. They want to take you to a place. Why not have someone, you know, get it away from the trainers? Let the trainers be trainers. They don't have to be DJs. Let's let DJs be DJs. That's. That's my new merch. Let DJs be DJs. J train podcast@gmail.com. j train podcast@gmail.Com. my LLC luxury lounge complaint ticked off Tuesday is the growing number of lost pets in our neighborhood. Oh, we got a problem. This is like a movie. Over the past several weeks, I've noticed a spike in lost cat and law and missing dog posters. Why is it lost cat, missing dog. Why would they change the wording? Missing cat, lost dog? Yeah, they both work. Plastered not only around my neighborhood streets, traffic signs, but at least a 7 mile radius. As I've seen the same ones in other neighborhoods. The volume alone has created the ambiance of a true crime series and would be concerning for anyone new or visiting the neighborhood. To be clear, I love animals, but I also love closure. And these posters offer none. What happens to these missing pets? Are they Ever found. Who, if anyone, is responsible for the removal of these laminated memorials? Who, if anyone, is responsible for the removal of these laminated memorials to lost Fluff? More importantly, some of these animals do not inspire urgency. If your dog looks like it was already on the streets before going missing, I struggle to muster the same level of public concern. Yeah, they do this when people pass away. They always put, like, the picture of them at their oldest and sickest. How about we have, like, we should all have, like, our own headshots. Like, when we pass, we should have, like, a folder where we're like, these are the pictures I want use when you memorialize me. Like, I don't want you using a picture that I've always hated my whole life. I also don't want a picture that doesn't really show me the way everyone knew me. Like, I have a headshot that they keep using, and it's from when I'm like, 26 years old and now I'm 40. And it makes it look like I think I look 26. It makes it me. It makes me look delusional. But I've never asked them to keep using that. I keep getting new pictures, and these clubs will sometimes not use the new picture. So now I look like the vain loser who's saying to the club, hey, put up that picture of me from 14 years ago. And it's like, no, no, no. I want the newer picture that makes me look age appropriate. That also makes me look good. And I think we all want that for our death picture. More importantly, some of these animals do not inspire urgency. Yeah, they gotta look good. Don't put. Don't put a scraggly day of the. Also, if you have no pictures of your animal, maybe you're not that great of an owner and that's why the dog is lost in the first place. Let's think of it that way. I've even joked to my partner, half joked really, that some of these disappearances seem awfully convenient. I wouldn't be shocked if someone's spouse or parent left the door open on purpose. Well, that would kind of go into the point I just made, which is like, if you don't have a good picture of your animal, maybe, you know, you're being a little bit, you know, careless with your animal. But we're not going to make accusations here in TikTok Tuesday. Here's what I will say. I agree that you need closure. If I'm going to see posters all around town missing Fluffy, missing Rufus, I want to know that Rufus are fluffy either got back to his family or their family or her family or whatever. I want to know what happened. There should be. If you're going to put up a sign, your next sign has to be over the. Over the last sign. We found Rufus. Here's where he was. It was our fault. We left the door open. Or we have not found Rufus and our search has gone cold. It will now be a cold case and we will stop searching. Like that's the, that's the saddest part in the movie, that of the other, you know, the missing person movie. There's always that plot line where they go, we've looked, we've done it all. We've done all we can. And the family's like, no, we gotta keep looking. And they're like, this is where our job ends. And it's our hardest part of our job. Yeah, I want closure. I want to see these dogs and cats found. But I also want to know what's going on. Cuz I'm a nosy. Let's do one more ticked off Tuesday. My complaint is about nothing ads. I'm a weirdo who enjoys watching ads in my streaming services. It's a good break from the show to doom Scroll. Sometimes an ad catches my eye and I get invested only to know what the product is or what they're selling. I just watched this commercial about either a microwave or the microwave cover. I can't tell you the company brand or what was actually being sold. It looks cool and useful because I'm actually in the market for a microwave and the model that showed looked perfect. But now I have to spend the next ad break waiting for it to play again and put on my Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass to look for clues. Streaming services have made TV ads terrible. It's enough that they blare the volume and scare the out of my dogs. But you can't even tell me what you want me to buy. I miss ads worth watching. Sincerely, Cold leftovers. I am with you. I think streaming ads are horrible. They're not clickable. And if you. That's the big thing if you're going to have this new age of technology. If you're gonna have a streaming ad, make it clickable. Make, make a game in it like let me play with it. Let me, let me do like put my, you know, my arrow, my, my mouse over it and see if it does some fun stuff like may. And the sound never matches the show, which is very annoying. It wakes you up. And the worst part of Streaming ads, to me, this takes me. I agree with you. Streaming ads suck. I want to know what they are. It does suck that you like, you kind of half watch them, you're not as zoned in, so you don't even know what they are. I've talked about how I just like cable. I like knowing where I am on Earth. I think streaming ads, they're never local, so they always. You never even know where you are, when you are, what time of day. At least with cable tv, an ad would tell you what time of day it was, where you were on the planet, what season it was. And streaming ads kind of just live in this nebulous nowhere zone. I hate that. I also hate the countdown. Clock it and you watch that countdown, much like the microwave you want to get. There is only a treadmill and a microwave. Only a treadmill clock and a microwave clock move slower than the streaming ad clock. That's telling you a minute and a half and you're like, oh, my God, what am I going to do during this? I guess I'll go on my phone, I'll go to the bathroom, but that's too long. It's going to take forever. I watch that ad clock and it's just my life ticking away in front of me. I'd rather there be no clock at all. I'd rather it say this is a 30 at the top of it. Just say it's a 30 at the top of it. You don't have to count down. I don't need to be put face to face with a clock that I'm literally watching as my life erodes around me. Jtrain podcast gmail.com J train podcast gmail.com as always, it's ticked off Tuesday. We go every week. Keep sending yours in. Sign up for the Patreon back next week. Boom.