RQ Network Feed Drop – Ain't Slayed Nobody

Summary

Summary of Episode: RQ Network Feed Drop – Ain't Slayed Nobody

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Magnus Archives
• Host/Author: Rusty Quill
• Description: “Make your statement, face your fear.” The Magnus Archives is a weekly horror fiction audiodrama podcast exploring the mysterious and esoteric archives of the Magnus Institute. Hosted by Jonathan Sims, the series delves into supernatural and eldritch horrors through a blend of horror, mystery, tragedy, and romance, captivating millions worldwide. The continuation, The Magnus Protocol, began in January 2024, with Season 2 currently airing.

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Episode Overview: RQ Network Feed Drop – Ain't Slayed Nobody is a collaborative episode featuring an actual play podcast set in the American Old West. This episode merges tabletop role-playing with immersive audio drama, presenting a narrative filled with tension, character dynamics, and emerging cosmic horrors.

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Key Sections:

1. Introduction to the Episode (00:00 - 00:55)

   • Anousheh Battersby introduces the episode, highlighting its gold-award-winning status and setting in the Old West.
   • The story begins with a posse embarking on a quest alongside Deputy Sheriff Ellie Bishop on the Canatillo railroad bridge, unaware of the impending cosmic threats.

2. Setting the Scene (00:55 - 03:25)

   • Narrator paints a vivid picture of Canastro, a town beset by unusual activities and fleeing strangers harboring unsettling stories (02:37).
   • The backstory of Sheriff Bishop’s daughter, Ellie, is established, revealing her determination to avenge her father's unsolved murder by Colin Brock (02:37).

3. Character Introductions (03:25 - 09:09)

   • Game Master introduces six individuals atop the Canatillo railroad bridge:

     • Maxwell Posey: Bound and waiting execution.
     • Ellie Bishop: Deputy Sheriff, driven by loyalty and vengeance.
     • Lance Kilkenny: A morally conflicted outlaw from Ireland (05:21).
     • Johnny Rhodes (Chuck): A scruffy hobo drifter with a mysterious past (06:36).
     • Jeremiah Fensworth Yar: A nomadic miner with a penchant for violence (07:38).
     • Father Flint Westwater: A deceitful priest with questionable morals (08:34).

   • Notable Quote:

     Ellie Bishop (04:13): “I'm a charming, very focused, very guarded woman. Completely driven by a need to protect those around her.”

4. Initial Confrontation and Execution (09:09 - 17:01)

   • Father Flint administers last rites to Maxwell Posey, who remains defiant (08:57 - 09:18).
   • Tensions rise as the posse debates the execution method, culminating in Maxwell’s cryptic last words referencing Colin Brock’s location.
   • Notable Quote:

     Maxwell Posey (10:59): “Y'all fixin to kill me unarmed like a dog, and I shoulda gone down fightin' for the yellow belly who turned me over.”

5. Ambush and Conflict (17:01 - 26:57)

   • An unexpected ambush occurs as two riders attack the posse from the opposite side of the bridge (18:10).
   • Lance Kilkenny is wounded, sparking chaotic defensive maneuvers and futile attempts to fend off the attackers.
   • Notable Quote:

     Ellie Bishop (16:00): “I'm not the one actually doing it right. Like I have my crew who can take care of it.”

6. Investigations and Tactical Decisions (26:57 - 39:51)

   • The posse grapples with the aftermath of the ambush, debating whether to investigate Maxwell Posey further or focus on the body’s mysterious significance (32:34).
   • Jeremiah attempts necromancy to extract information, leading to his unsuccessful efforts and Maxwell’s continued demise.
   • Notable Quote:

     Jeremiah Fensworth Yar (34:03): “I reckon in the mines, people be falling down and getting all scuffed up and nothing.”

7. Journey to Olvido (39:51 - 46:58)

   • The group uncovers a map hinting at the origin of the threat in Olvido, located northwest in New Mexico (42:49).
   • Debates ensue over the next steps, with motivations clearly aligning towards vengeance against Colin Brock (45:10).
   • Notable Quote:

     Ellie Bishop (45:25): “Yeah. Come on.”

8. Character Dynamics and Progression (46:58 - 52:13)

   • As the posse prepares to journey toward Olvido, internal conflicts and humorous exchanges highlight character personalities and alliances (47:05).
   • The group sets forth on their horses, leaving behind the remnants of Maxwell Posey and embracing the unknown challenges ahead (50:37).

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Ellie Bishop (04:13): “I'm a charming, very focused, very guarded woman. Completely driven by a need to protect those around her.”
• Maxwell Posey (10:59): “Y'all fixin to kill me unarmed like a dog, and I shoulda gone down fightin' for the yellow belly who turned me over.”
• Ellie Bishop (16:00): “I'm not the one actually doing it right. Like I have my crew who can take care of it.”
• Jeremiah Fensworth Yar (34:03): “I reckon in the mines, people be falling down and getting all scuffed up and nothing.”
• Ellie Bishop (45:25): “Yeah. Come on.”

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Conclusion: The episode masterfully combines rich character development with dynamic storytelling, set against the backdrop of the Old West infused with supernatural elements. As the posse ventures towards Olvido, tensions remain high, alliances are tested, and the looming presence of cosmic horrors promises thrilling developments in future episodes.

For those new to The Magnus Archives, this episode exemplifies the series' ability to blend horror, mystery, and intricate character interactions, making it a standout addition to the podcast’s illustrious catalog.

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Additional Listening: Explore more episodes and the extensive lore of Ain't Slayed Nobody across ten additional seasons, featuring diverse RPG systems and unique settings. Available wherever podcasts are streamed or visit rustyquill.com.

Transcript

[Anousheh Battersby]

Hi everyone, it's Anousheh Battersby here. Today we're sharing the first episode from one of our incredible RQ Network podcasts. Ain't Slayed Nobody Ain't Slay Nobody is a gold any winning actual play podcast with this first episode being from their first season. Set in the American Old west, the production blends tabletop role playing and audio drama with fast pacing and immersive sound design. The posse begins their quest in grand old Western tradition which a hanging bullets begin to fly as a shady priest, a rough and tumble miner, a suave former outlaw and an Ernest hobo join vengeful Deputy Sheriff Ellie Bishop on the Canateo railroad bridge. Little does this ragtag posse know of the cosmic horrors that are about to unfold.

[Narrator]

Would you look at that sunset. How could anyone ask for a better place to be than Canatillo? Go west in your smack dab against the Rio Grande. Turn around, you've got mountains cutting the sky in half. Now folks here are up to their usual business, which is to say unusual of late. Not just thievery and depravity either. The strangers that recently paddled down to Canateo from the north, they're fleeing something. Their stories are starting to make everyone here more skittish than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Say, have you ever heard of a. Oh hell, those tumbleweeds are best left to themselves. The fine Texans here have other personal matters at hand. You see, three years ago, back in 1888, old Sheriff Bishop got cut down by Colin Brock, the most vicious cowboy in West Texas. Now Bishop's daughter, Ellie, the new deputy sheriff, she is a pistol. She got one of Brock's old gang mates to turn on his crew and there's fixing to be a hanging in the morning. Now if someone let on to Brock about what's happening, I'd bet he's stirring up some kind of shit.

[Game Master]

I am a dead man.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Walking. I can see the light.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Coming.

[Game Master]

And.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

It feels warm on my face, but I can tell it's going to burn me down.

[Game Master]

Dawn breaks on July 12, 1891, and it's already hotter than hell. Six people are standing atop the Canateo railroad bridge, silhouetted against the Rio Grande. Maxwell Posey, a mustached man in dusty tattered clothing, looks over the edge as his boots boots sink into the gravel. His hands are bound behind his back and a rope encircles his neck. Just behind him, Ellie Bishop is planted firmly across two rail ties. The glint of her beat up deputy badge Catching the morning light. This is just the beginning of a reckoning. But first, let's learn more about some of these characters on the bridge. Starting with you, Alex.

[Ellie Bishop]

I am playing Ellie Bishop, who is a sheriff's deputy. I'm sorry. I was born in Texas and raised in the south, but I have no Southern accent. But I'll work on it. She's a charming, very focused, very guarded woman. Completely driven by a need to protect those around her, people who need it most. She believes in loyalty above all else. Loyalty to her job and her beliefs. So it makes it hard for her to see the world as anything but good or evil. She's driven by the fact that her late father was the town sheriff and his unsolved murder is what pushed her to follow in his footsteps. And she carries around her dad's pocket watch with her to remind her of that. She's aggressive, pretty sassy. I would say like five. Five, you know. You know, she's cute, but she's like. She. She also wants respect.

[Game Master]

Yeah, that's really nice. I like that. Five paces to Ellie's, right. Elyri Cowboy is watching this unfold. If I'm not mistaken, he's the turncoat responsible for Maxwell Posey's capture. Jay, what can you tell us about Lance Kilkenny?

[Lance Kilkenny]

He is an outlaw from Donegal, Ireland. Kind of a bigger guy, but deceptively strong. He looks like he'd be lanky, but he's not actually lanky. He's got dark hair, green eyes. Looks. Looks pretty cute, if I do say so myself. You know, he's got the good old cowboy clothes, but they're all kind of a darker color. As far as his personality, he's a quiet, careful kind of guy. He's an outlaw, but he has a strong moral code because he's not an outlaw by choice. He was kind of forced into it by disputes with the wrong people. The folks there don't know too much about him, but one thing they see immediately is he's got those two tied down. Pistols.

[Game Master]

How cute is he? Your appearance? Score's not very high.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Well, I mean, beauty's in the eye of the beholder, right? So he has cauliflower ear, which I.

[Chuck]

Think makes him cuter, which makes you the only one.

[Game Master]

At opposite ends of the bridge, there are two ragged gentlemen standing guard. They're about 20 yards away from Ellie and Lance on either side. Let's hear about Johnny first.

[Chuck]

Howdy. My name is Chuck. I will be playing the character of Johnny Rhodes. His occupation is hobo drifter. He is Relatively new to town. Not a lot of people know a whole lot about him. He sort of showed up with not much more than the shirt on his back. He's been doing odd jobs around town. He's pretty slight of build, a little bit skinny, not a big man. He's kind of scruffy and stubbly. He wears clothes that would be nice if they weren't so old and grimy. He's got a white button down shirt with sleeves rolled up. He's got a vest that is sort of gray pinstripe with matching pants. He's got some brown boots and a brown bowler hat. But all of it is a little sweatsu stained and a little bit grimy.

[Game Master]

Very nice. I was hoping we'd have a grimy character. Let's head to the other end of the bridge to learn about who Wes is playing.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I think you're talking to Jeremiah Fensworth Yar. I'm. I'm from Quechua Maidajo, and I just kind of got nomadic and wound up in this town. You know, my grandpappy gave me this axe and you're gonna have to pry it from a cold, dead hand. I'm 6 foot 5, but I look like I'm 6ft because I've been hunched over in their minds all them years. And I'll tell you what, life doesn't give you a damn thing. You just have to dig, scratch, claw for anything you want. I keep a six shooter to guard me gold. And you know what? I'll fucking shoot you.

[Game Master]

So good.

[Chuck]

I feel like I'm being accent shamed right now.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

What? You rat bastard.

[Game Master]

And finally, flanking Maxwell Posey with Ellie is a priest. He's making the sign of the cross in the direction of the prisoner, Brandon. What's going on?

[Father Flint Westwater]

I am not Brandon. I am Father Flint Westwater, man of God. 45 years old, born in Chicago, Illinois. Lives in Missoula, Montana. What I do is I go from town to town, sleep with their women, steal their money and move on to the next pair. So I'm not necessarily the best man of God you've ever met.

[Lance Kilkenny]

But you're Joel Osteen.

[Father Flint Westwater]

I am the West's Joel Osteen. So hopefully there's no hurricane and I think we will all be okay.

[Game Master]

Why don't we begin the story with Father Flint administering last rites to Posey?

[Father Flint Westwater]

You are damned, but the Lord looks upon you as you deliver your final breaths. Begone from this earth.

[Chuck]

Those are some dark final rites.

[Father Flint Westwater]

I'm a very specific denomination.

[Game Master]

Maxwell Posey doesn't look impressed, Father Flint. He is flustered. He looks like he's growing more and more impatient. Oi. Let's just get this over with.

[Chuck]

Miss Ellie, if it's all the same to you, I'd just soon get this on with.

[Game Master]

So Johnny yells from 20 yards away.

[Chuck]

Did I not project enough? Let me stand back and yell, Miss Ellie. I'd just soon get this on with.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I'd like to ask that law lady a question. Is that all right?

[Game Master]

Yeah, that's okay. No roll needed.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Real quick, you want to just get this over with? I'll just shoot that guy right in the head.

[Ellie Bishop]

No, that's too easy.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

All right, have it your way.

[Game Master]

I'll just remind you that Maxwell already has a noose around his neck, which is tied to the rail.

[Lance Kilkenny]

So you might want to save your ammunition.

[Chuck]

We're all kind of deferring to the Authority.

[Ellie Bishop]

I'm not the one actually doing it right. Like I have my crew who can take care of it.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Ah, no, no, it's you. What's that Game of Thrones quote? The man who passes a sentence to swing the sword.

[Chuck]

Miss Ellie, if you ain't got the stomach for it, I'd be. I'd be obliged.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

What's Game of Thrones?

[Game Master]

Maxwell looks a bit confused, to be honest. As you all yell back and forth about what's going to happen, he's going to say what he assumes are going to be last words. Y' all fixin to kill me unarmed like a dog, and I shoulda gone down fightin' as for the yellow belly who turnt me over, he looks at Lance right in the eyes and then turns back toward the river and spits End Brok, the redeemed family man up north. Well, I hope I see you both in hell. Now let's hurry this up.

[Chuck]

So Johnny comes on down from his post over to where this guy is, and he takes an old rusted knife out and sticks it in the guy's belt. And he says, there, now, you ain't unarmed anymore.

[Game Master]

He feels that knife, even though it's a small knife, he didn't stick it in.

[Chuck]

He didn't like, shove it in his gut. He just sticks in his belt like.

[Game Master]

Oh, let's run that back. I thought you stuck it in his belly at the belt.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Chuck just stabbed him.

[Chuck]

I mean. I mean, Jesus.

[Game Master]

So Johnny, he arms him, he puts a knife in his belt, even though his hands are bound. So he symbolically does that for Maxwell. And he left his sentinel post to do that.

[Chuck]

I mean, unless you're telling me something else? As soon as he's done with that, he's going to walk back to his sentinel post. Or are you telling me something's about to happen?

[Game Master]

I'll let you walk back over there.

[Father Flint Westwater]

Let's kick him off the bridge and run.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Yeah, Ellie, go ahead and kick him off, please.

[Ellie Bishop]

What if the prisoner suddenly gets tired of the delay and jumps off himself?

[Game Master]

He's considering it.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Is being a game master that bad?

[Lance Kilkenny]

Can I. Can I just be walking over to the. To the prisoner and give him a shove off?

[Chuck]

I appreciate your dedication to killing this guy.

[Game Master]

I would give Ellie the option to oppose that action if she wants to.

[Ellie Bishop]

I wouldn't oppose it. I think it makes sense in the chaos for somebody to die to just push him off already.

[Game Master]

Ellie, you look over and you see that Lance has kind of a wild eye. How is Lance gonna do this?

[Lance Kilkenny]

I'm just gonna give him a shovel. I'd like to whisper in his ear before, though. The only reason I've done this is because you have no honor on you. There's nothing good about you nor Colin. And that's why you have to die. And then I shove him.

[Chuck]

Oh.

[Game Master]

So it's a clean, hard break of the neck after he's pushed off the bridge and Maxwell's just dangling there lifeless, with any information he might have had in his brain now gone.

[Chuck]

Are you suggesting that maybe we should have investigated that further?

[Game Master]

I am simply speculating.

[Chuck]

In our role as investigators, are we maybe not doing any investigating? We were just leaping to murder?

[Game Master]

I'm not going to recount his last words, but maybe there was something going on there.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I want to roll for necromancy.

[Game Master]

As he falls off the bridge, he screams something about Colin Brock's location.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Well, I thought you told us that Colin Brock was up north when he was saying his last words in the beginning.

[Game Master]

Yeah, I think Maxwell said something to that effect.

[Father Flint Westwater]

So maybe Maxwell can tell us the location that we maybe should have heard from the dead man.

[Chuck]

Maxwell is the dead man. Well, job well done. Hey, cup, can you describe to me this bridge that we're standing on? I'm a structural engineer. I need to hear these things.

[Game Master]

Yeah, it's about 40 yards in length. The surface is mostly consumed by railroad sleepers and rails. You know, just a regular old railroad. There are metal beams on both sides and there's a lot of space in between them. But we do have cross beams and arches on each side.

[Chuck]

So it does have kind of trusses up above.

[Game Master]

Exactly.

[Chuck]

I lost the term gotcha.

[Game Master]

So now what we have is a dead man hanging from the railroad bridge with Ellie and Lance kind of looking over the edge. They're pretty sure that old Maxwell's dead.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I don't like the way you said that. They're pretty sure he's dead.

[Game Master]

Okay. Did you want to. Did you want to put a bullet in him?

[Lance Kilkenny]

I don't know if I'll be trusting you.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I offered to shoot him.

[Game Master]

Okay. With the distraction of this hanging scene and the sound of the Rio Grande rushing beneath you, I'd like everyone to roll for listening. And you're gonna be needing a hard success here.

[Father Flint Westwater]

So I just rolled a 74.

[Game Master]

Yeah. Father Flint doesn't hear anything. You're just.

[Father Flint Westwater]

What'd you say?

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I rolled a 100.

[Chuck]

So you failed on anything no matter what, right?

[Game Master]

Yeah. That's a fumble. Jeremiah. You do hear something. It's a loud rustling sound coming from your side of the bridge. And you think you see someone duck behind a tree.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Ambush coming on our side of the bridge.

[Chuck]

Johnny is not exactly leaping to set up a defensive perimeter.

[Father Flint Westwater]

I am waiting for everyone to run with me because I'm already five paces ahead.

[Game Master]

You're running toward the ambush or away from the ambush?

[Chuck]

I'm running away from the ambush because.

[Father Flint Westwater]

I don't have any weapons.

[Game Master]

Okay. So Father Flynn is moving toward the Texas side, the Canatio side of the bridge.

[Chuck]

I think that Johnny likes the cut of his jib. And he's also. He's gonna take one look at that and go, yeah, that seems like the right move.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Now, I tell you what. Now I heard it. I heard the damn ambush wants to kill him. Let's go.

[Chuck]

Now, can I elect to do a thing, or do I have to wait for you to tell me to Rol.

[Game Master]

You tell me what action you want to do, and I'll make a decision about whether there's a roll, and you.

[Chuck]

Tell me if this is a legit thing to do. But I would like to roll spot hidden.

[Game Master]

Okay.

[Chuck]

To see if I can tell what is coming and where.

[Game Master]

Yeah, that's a legitimate reaction to Jeremiah screaming that there's an ambush coming.

[Chuck]

All right, that is a 39.

[Game Master]

So Johnny peers over to the New Mexico side with his eagle eyes and doesn't see anything remarkable. He's really starting to doubt that testimony from Jeremiah that you're about to be ambushed.

[Chuck]

Y' all. I think that Jeremiah might be full of shit.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Yeah, I'll tell you what's full of shit. You.

[Chuck]

This is the rest of the episode.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

You know what Else is full of shit. That deer over there, man, he's leaving him.

[Game Master]

We have a drifter and a roaming miner arguing. I guess this is what happens when you set them up as guards. So there's something happening now. About a half mile east of this necktie social on the Canatio bridge. It's on the side opposite Jeremiah's hollering. Two riders appear and then vanish like ghosts. They're bobbing in and out of the heat rising off the Texas plain as their horses are barreling through the brush. The cries from the birds might have tipped you off if you weren't distracted by Jeremiah. The riders draw rifles without breaking stride. It looks like they're taking aim at Lance Kilkenny, the man in black. I'm gonna let them fire with a bonus die because of the surprise attack. So they'll roll the tens die twice. And if they beat their number with either roll, they're going to inflict some damage. The first rider takes aim and hits. So he has successfully shot Lance Kilkenny.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Ow.

[Game Master]

It's 1D6 plus 1 damage, and that's 3. It doesn't cause a major wound, but Lance did take a shot through the thigh. Blood squirting out, getting on Ellie a little bit. And with the rifle shot, everyone's quite aware that you're under fire. Even Jeremiah has to acknowled that the ambush is coming from the other side of the bridge.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Okay, so I have nine hit points now.

[Game Master]

Yeah, it's not so bad.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I think it was more of a calf shot than a thigh shot, to be honest with you.

[Game Master]

Well, it's not through the thigh bone, but kind of off to the side.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Well, you gotta worry about the arteries in there.

[Game Master]

I mean, I'm not too worried about them.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Okay, cool.

[Game Master]

Yeah, if it gets infected or you bleed out later, we'll just deal with it then.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Fair enough.

[Game Master]

I actually rolled for the location of the shot, which is something I can do. If it was three damage to the head, we might have had to get creative with the rifle.

[Lance Kilkenny]

It would have popped one of my cauliflower ears. That would have been fine.

[Game Master]

The second rider also fires off a shot. He's clearly a bad shot because he's in range with his rifle, but he misses everybody. So we have two riders. They're making an approach toward the bridge about 30 yards away at this point. Now, this is optional in this game, but I'm going to ask you to roll for initiative. So you'll roll against your dexterity. And this will determine the order of combat for you and the enemies.

[Chuck]

So it's just a success or not?

[Game Master]

Well, I need to know your degree of success.

[Father Flint Westwater]

So like I have a 93.

[Game Master]

That's pretty bad. Generally higher is worse in this game, so you're probably going last.

[Chuck]

I got a 19, which is a hard success.

[Game Master]

Okay.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I rolled a 14.

[Game Master]

Okay, so that's extreme success. See, your deck's a 70 and that's 1 5th at 14. So.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Okay.

[Game Master]

Yeah, amazing. Alex, what did you roll?

[Anousheh Battersby]

62.

[Game Master]

And Jeremiah?

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Oh, I failed like hell.

[Lance Kilkenny]

So I guess it's up to me.

[Game Master]

Yeah. What is Lance going to do?

[Lance Kilkenny]

I guess I'll just go ahead and take a shot.

[Father Flint Westwater]

Of what?

[Chuck]

Whiskey or rum or.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Cause they. Well, they only have two riders, right, is what you said.

[Game Master]

As far as y' all can tell, there are two. Two people shot at you.

[Lance Kilkenny]

See, I don't like the way you said as far as you can tell. I guess I'll roll for it. It's a 21.

[Game Master]

Alright, so go ahead and describe the action of Lance hitting one of the riders.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I level up my pistol, I aim it at the rider on the right and I squeeze the trigger and it hits him. Do I need to roll for location?

[Game Master]

Well, what you can do is roll 1d8, see how much damage you did, and then use that to describe the wound you've inflicted.

[Lance Kilkenny]

It's a seven. The bullet hits him right in the torso, straight out the back, the blood squirts, he leans off to the side, falling off his horse, and his friend kind of looks over at him, realizes his friend's been struck. I don't know if he's down and out yet, but he's taken a good wound.

[Chuck]

Point of order. Do we get to decide? Yeah, he fell off the horse.

[Game Master]

Well, you can describe whatever you think is appropriate, and then what I'll do is veto you when I feel like it's excessive.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Oh, good.

[Game Master]

This shot that Lance fired off was a brilliant one. And it did. It struck him in the torso. He fell off his horse and appears to be unconscious. So you are now up against a single rider.

[Chuck]

Shit. Yeah.

[Game Master]

Yeah, that was a devastating shot.

[Lance Kilkenny]

That's what you brought me along for, wasn't it?

[Game Master]

And now, the real hero, Johnny Rhodes, it's your turn.

[Chuck]

Is there a role to hide?

[Game Master]

Yeah, you could move to the side of the bridge and get behind a steel beam or something.

[Chuck]

Then that is 100% what I am going to do. Yeah. I assume he's gonna see me do this.

[Game Master]

Yes. But if he decides you're the person he wants to attack, Next he's gonna have to take a penalty die because you've taken cover behind this structure.

[Chuck]

That's where Johnny's at right now.

[Game Master]

Very good. There was one more person who beat me on the roll and I think it was Ellie, an actual gunfighter.

[Chuck]

Thank God for that.

[Game Master]

So this cowboy's pulled up his horse about 25 yards away from you. Johnny's a little closer to the situation, but he seems pretty startled by what happened. He probably wasn't expecting his partner to get taken down by a long range shot from a pistol.

[Ellie Bishop]

I mean, is she strapped with her rifle?

[Game Master]

Yeah. That was probably the first thing you did when you realized you were being fired upon. Drawing up that rifle and starting to take aim at these cowboys.

[Ellie Bishop]

And the other writer, he's shaken and like he looks back.

[Game Master]

Yeah, he's trying to slow things down a little bit. He is looking around, trying to assess maybe whether he can find cover. But right now he's out in the open. So you could fire on him and see what happens. Or you could fire on the unconscious man, try to finish him off.

[Chuck]

Don't you Worry about him, Ms. Ellie. I got him.

[Game Master]

But yeah, one of them's threatening you imminently.

[Ellie Bishop]

I'm going to fire on him and hit him in the chest.

[Game Master]

Well, you may not hit him, so go ahead and roll your percentage dice and we'll figure out that piece of it.

[Ellie Bishop]

72.

[Game Master]

Unfortunately, Ellie, you have a bead on this man, but when he stops to pull up his horse, it throws aim off and you fire your gun. But the bullet sails. It's just nowhere near the rider. All right, so it is. The lone riders move again and he's going to do something a little different. He's maybe trying to decide whether he wants to tussle with those dual pistols of Lance Kilkenny before he takes another action. He's going to shout out to y' all, I just want the body.

[Chuck]

Cool. Perfectly normal thing to want. What do you want the body for?

[Game Master]

Now? Don't you worry about that. I just need that body.

[Chuck]

That sounds suspicious. Hey, real quick, group huddle. Are we giving this guy the body?

[Father Flint Westwater]

Can I look at the body first? Can we look for any suspicious things?

[Game Master]

It's an odd request because the body is dangling, you know, like 10ft off the edge of this bridge.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Do what you want.

[Game Master]

What you want with the body.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Anybody got a knife? Reckon we could cut the rope and drop the body in the water. Then nobody gives a body.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I think Maxwell has a knife.

[Chuck]

Can I roll to climb down to the body to get the knife.

[Game Master]

Did Johnny recover that knife?

[Chuck]

That was not my good knife. I was. I was not trying to. I was trying to say that that was just some rusty piece of shit because I was not giving him my good fighting knife.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I just reckon one of them would be useful right now if anybody didn't strap it to a body that was about to be hanged.

[Chuck]

Yeah. This was a butter knife, basically.

[Father Flint Westwater]

I feel like we flubbed one thing already. So we might as well be thorough about looking for this.

[Chuck]

Continue to flub things.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I reckon. Somebody wants a body, they got a dark story. Sheriff. What's the policy on body giving?

[Ellie Bishop]

I think we need to ask that. We can kind of like recover what we missed before when we just let the guy die. Obviously since the guy's connected to. What's his name? Brock.

[Game Master]

Colin Brock. Yes. Your. Your mortal enemy.

[Chuck]

What was that guy's name?

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Ain't that the guy that maybe killed her Pampy.

[Ellie Bishop]

I think we should ask him if he has any connection to him. Like if you want him then. Are you associated with Brock?

[Chuck]

Give us a character voice on that.

[Ellie Bishop]

I can't do a character voice. I really can't do a character voice.

[Chuck]

Then don't worry about it.

[Game Master]

Do your regular voice. But make sure you holler.

[Chuck]

He'll twang it in post.

[Ellie Bishop]

What do you want with the body?

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Reckon he's far away, Miss.

[Ellie Bishop]

What do you want with the body?

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

There it is.

[Game Master]

I got orders. I don't even know. Just give me the damn body.

[Chuck]

Where you gonna take the body? Oh.

[Ellie Bishop]

Who are your orders from?

[Game Master]

Look, y' all ask too many damn questions. Just cut that body and let me load it up on my horse here.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

You want us to cut up the body?

[Chuck]

Little Saved by the bell. Timeout here. Can we. And I'm asking the team. Is there some sort of subterfuge we can engage in here where we act like we're gonna give him the body and somebody gets the drop on him. I don't know what that looks like. I don't hate that.

[Father Flint Westwater]

It's a cool idea. Let's do it.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I think what we'd be trying to do here is one of us makes to look like we're cutting the body down and then we draw as we're cutting.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

When he gets close to collect the body, we could just dangle him over the bridge as such and he could give us information.

[Chuck]

How about you get off that horse, you put that gun down, you come over here and we'll get you that body?

[Game Master]

All right. So why don't you give me a fast talk roll.

[Chuck]

Hey, guess what I'm not awesome at. That is a.38, which is a fail.

[Game Master]

He looks skeptical.

[Father Flint Westwater]

Good job.

[Game Master]

Hell, no. I ain't getting off my horse. But the good news is he's stalled combat long enough that he's essentially lost his turn. So if you re engaged him, you would have the drop on him in the sense that he'd be last in the order.

[Chuck]

Hey, somebody shoot this motherf cker. Let's kill him. Let's try to kill him.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I reckon if y' all need some help, I got me a gun here.

[Game Master]

I could shoot good old Jeremiah. You're probably a good 35 to 40 yards away from this rider.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

That's fine. Jackrabbits out in the mines in Idaho are always like 50, 60 yards.

[Chuck]

Grandpa's got a firearm. Let's just do that.

[Game Master]

And you have remind me of your weapon.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I got a.45.

[Game Master]

Jeez.

[Chuck]

Hell yeah.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I'm gonna turn this guy's femur into mist.

[Game Master]

Oh, goodness. All right. This is gonna be long range for your weapon.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Long range for your weapon. It's just range for me.

[Game Master]

And you're going to need. Wow. Your handgun skill's phenomenal.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I told you. I'm gonna wax this fucker.

[Game Master]

You're gonna need a hard success, though. Why don't you go ahead and roll to see how you do?

[Lance Kilkenny]

He's gonna roll another hundred.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I rolled a five.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I think his head's gone.

[Chuck]

God damn.

[Game Master]

So I want you to roll for damage and then describe what happens.

[Chuck]

I believe he said femur into mist.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

So damage is the D8 for you.

[Game Master]

It's a D10 plus two.

[Chuck]

God damn.

[Game Master]

All right, well, I rolled a 10.

[Lance Kilkenny]

You gave him a lead salad.

[Game Master]

Yeah. When you describe what happens, be aggressive.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

After I watched my whole party kind of do half ass, I decided to pull weapons. Since I was getting paid a fair day salary, I thought I might help out. So I drew down on him and shot him in the leg, blowing him clean off his horse. He cartwheeled down the hill, lands right next to the body. He's still alive, though.

[Game Master]

Well, I didn't give you a penalty for calling your shot, so I. I do think he's dead.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

No, he's alive. I told you. That's what I was trying to do.

[Game Master]

He's very dead.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Hey, it's. It's Ask Cookie checking in here. I could be wrong, I could be mistaken, but didn't Cub say the other guy was still alive?

[Chuck]

There he is. Unconscious. Yes.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Yeah, Maybe we just hold onto that body for a little bit, then.

[Chuck]

Are you suggesting that maybe we should investigate something at some point?

[Lance Kilkenny]

I'm thinking that may be something we ought to do.

[Chuck]

The characters are called investigators and not like, bloodthirsty murderers, right?

[Game Master]

Yes. So you have one quite dead former rider.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Lots of femur mists going around over there.

[Game Master]

This might be the most unsuccessful ambush of all time.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I think General George Custer might have something to say about that. I would like to know which one he has first aid. Because I heard one of you give some points to it earlier in the game.

[Chuck]

I'm sorry about that.

[Game Master]

Johnny drops his first aid kit.

[Chuck]

I just dropped it in the river.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

If you're willing to give me half your day's pay, I'll patch that wound up for you.

[Lance Kilkenny]

I'll be honest with you, Jeremiah. Yep. Called an ambush from the absolute wrong side of the bridge. I don't want you anywhere near me.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Yeah. But the thing is, is I, like, blew the guy in half.

[Chuck]

This does seem like it was your fault.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

All right, that's fair. I'll go. I'll come patch you up for nothing.

[Lance Kilkenny]

The other thing is, I think I still have femur mist on me.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Reckon in the mines, people be falling down and getting all scuffed up and nothing. I done sewed up a couple of stumps for people and satisfactorily attached and affixed twigs and various branches on so they could be bipedal again. I got no proper medical training, but my grandpappy gave me a book when I was young. Called, you have a body. And it showed it. Reckon I have a knack for it, though.

[Chuck]

The creepy thing is that with Cup, I'm sure that this is exactly how he expected this to go.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Here's what I worry about. Cup had said the ambush did come from the Texas side of the border. Did come from the town that would be the nearest town to go get first aid. I'm afraid the only option I have for my first aid is to rely on old Jeremiah over there.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Yeah, it's a good decision right here. We're out in the field. I can take care of it for you.

[Lance Kilkenny]

All right, so let's see if this thing's about to get infected.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Hold on. I gotta spit on this here needle to disinfect it.

[Chuck]

I hope that you roll 100 and his leg falls off.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

All right, here we go. I'm rolling one. I got a 73, which is fine.

[Game Master]

Because you have 80.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I'm 80, okay. Yeah, I know.

[Game Master]

It just makes me laugh because I keep Rolling these. So what does the first aid look like?

[Chuck]

The only thing you're good at is murder.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Wrecking. One time I found myself with some natives walking down from Dakotas. We. We was ambushed. And the blood mist I took and made a paste out of with some dirt powder and rubbed it on the.

[Game Master]

Wounds and it helped, which helps Lance recover one of his hit points.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

You feel better, big guy?

[Lance Kilkenny]

I feel a little bit better. I'm not going to lie to you. I have no idea what that paste was.

[Chuck]

You made some homeopathic medicine here.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I told you I done had a knack for it.

[Chuck]

I would like to go investigate our unconscious friend over there.

[Lance Kilkenny]

And I'd like to investigate the body.

[Father Flint Westwater]

I'd like to investigate the body as well. See what's so interesting about it?

[Chuck]

When you say the body, we have racked up a count. Which one are y' all referring to?

[Lance Kilkenny]

I'm talking about Maxwell. I'd also like to get the knife back for Johnny, if at all possible.

[Chuck]

Much obliged.

[Game Master]

How are you gonna do that?

[Lance Kilkenny]

Well, I'm gonna pull the rope back up.

[Chuck]

I'll help.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Thanks, Flint.

[Chuck]

Who would like to do a thing?

[Father Flint Westwater]

I would like to do something besides drink whiskey over here.

[Game Master]

So Father Flint and Lance Kilkenny mosey over to the railroad bridge with the ambition of pulling up the corpse of Maxwell Posey. Why don't you both roll strength for me?

[Father Flint Westwater]

God. 29, 15.

[Game Master]

Oh, wow. So you, the two of you, effortlessly, almost, in just one tug together, pull the corpse of Maxwell Posey back onto the railroad bridge, where he is strewn about lifelessly.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Dinner is served.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

That ain't the first time you've done that, is it, boys?

[Father Flint Westwater]

What? Finish something in one tug. Oh, boy.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Damn.

[Chuck]

Johnny collects that old butter knife.

[Game Master]

I'm gonna let you do that without.

[Lance Kilkenny]

A roll, but we wanna take a look at the body to figure out why the other guy wanted it, right?

[Game Master]

What are you looking for? Are you searching pockets?

[Lance Kilkenny]

I don't know. Like, I kind of want to just cut him open and see if there's anything freaky we should know about.

[Chuck]

Did you say cut him open?

[Lance Kilkenny]

Well, I mean, this is supposed to be, like, spooky, right? We got to get spooky at some point.

[Chuck]

Are you saying this character. Hey, our lives are supposed to be spooky, right?

[Game Master]

The spookiness might be a slow burn.

[Father Flint Westwater]

Well, let's cut him open.

[Chuck]

I am going to go over to the unconscious gentleman. Can I confirm he's definitely unconscious and not about to, like, leap up and grab me by the throat? Or do we need to put a bullet in this guy, too.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Poke him with his stick.

[Ellie Bishop]

Can we tie him up? Because we need information out of him.

[Chuck]

So let's tie him up. I like that. Do I need to roll knot tying.

[Game Master]

For the five of you to tie up an unconscious man? I'll say that's something you're capable of doing. He's now bound at what, the ankles and wrists?

[Chuck]

No, we. We hogtied him. So, hell yeah, bound at the ankles and wrists, but then they're tied to each other behind his back. What would I need to do to try and wake up the unconscious guy?

[Game Master]

It might not be something you're able to do. At the moment, he's making constitution rolls to see if he's going to live.

[Chuck]

Should we all just wait and see how that goes?

[Game Master]

I will say you could apply medicine or first aid if you'd like.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Well, Jeremiah, you worked out well for me. Go ahead and give it a shot.

[Chuck]

I very much want that to happen.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I reckon I've done some necromancy in my time. Ah, yeah, it looks like a 28 right there.

[Game Master]

Okay, so you do enough to get him into this kind of woozy, hazy state. Why don't you describe the first aid you just applied?

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I did that thing from karate kid where Mr. Miyagi claps his hands and rubs them together real good and then applies it.

[Game Master]

This is just enough to jar this man out of unconsciousness temporarily. He's looking up at you, Jeremiah, like you're an angel from heaven.

[Chuck]

Do we have anybody who is good at fast talk?

[Father Flint Westwater]

I have a 12. Is that good?

[Chuck]

It doesn't seem like it is.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

That feels bad.

[Game Master]

You are the best, Johnny.

[Chuck]

I am?

[Game Master]

Yeah.

[Chuck]

We're bad at that. All right, I would like to interrogate this guy to see if I can find out why they wanted that body. All right, let me roll first, and then I'll tell you what. Exactly.

[Father Flint Westwater]

I say.

[Chuck]

Ooh, that is a 32. Hey, man, listen here. No hard feelings, nothing. We. We can get you back to Cantilla. We get you patched up and everything. I mean, sure, you probably have some. Some legal issues, but, you know, we'll get you patched up. You're gonna live. I just. I just need to know why you guys needed this body.

[Game Master]

Take it to Olvido.

[Chuck]

To. To Elvido.

[Game Master]

Need his body.

[Chuck]

You're gonna take the body to Elvido? Where's that. Where's that at?

[Game Master]

In Alvido.

[Chuck]

Now, I understand, but what were you gonna do with it?

[Game Master]

Gotta take a look.

[Chuck]

Take A look in Elvido. I think we need to go to Elvido. Elvido. Olvido. Hey, hey, did that start with an E or no? Oh, I think this boy's bleeding out.

[Father Flint Westwater]

Wait, is he saying oh, isn't he's er, hurt or.

[Chuck]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Game Master]

Okay.

[Chuck]

Oh God, yes.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Oh, you're so correct.

[Chuck]

Okay.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Oh. Oh.

[Chuck]

Veto. All right, friend, we'll get you right as rain.

[Game Master]

And he dies immediately.

[Chuck]

Okay, well, you know, you win some, you lose some.

[Game Master]

Jeremiah's first aid was just enough for him to have a last breath.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Flint, can you get over here and apply your last rites or whatever you do?

[Father Flint Westwater]

Yes. In the name of the Father, of the Son, of the Holy Spirit. We're going to ol video.

[Chuck]

I want to see if this guy's got a gun on him.

[Game Master]

Yeah, he fired that thing at you?

[Chuck]

He doesn't need it anymore.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Reckon you ought to arm yourself.

[Game Master]

Alright, let me tell you a little bit about the rifle you've acquired. It's a.22 bolt action rifle. Sorry, it's not very good.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Weak sauce.

[Game Master]

Brandon. Father Flink can have one too. From the other dead guy. It's the same rifle.

[Father Flint Westwater]

It's better than my fists.

[Ellie Bishop]

Are there saddlebags that we could go through on the horses?

[Game Master]

Yeah, one of the horses got really startled by that last brutal murder and ran off. But one horse is just walking around another murder scene. You know, I'm calling them murders, but perhaps they're justified. Alex, give me a spot hidden for Ellie to see what you make of the findings.

[Ellie Bishop]

When it's a double zero plus a number, is it just.

[Game Master]

It's a single digit number or a fumble?

[Ellie Bishop]

So I have three.

[Game Master]

Three. Wow, that's an extreme success.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Yeah.

[Game Master]

So Ellie has this great idea to look through the saddlebags on the horse and finds all kinds of provisions, jerky, water. And with the Texas sun beating down on all of you, this is a welcome sight. More importantly, you find what appears to be a crudely drawn map. And it looks to Ellie like the map has the Rio Grande drawn in. So this snake like shape and there's a pretty clear marking for the origin and the destination. You immediately recognize Canatio as the end point. And it looks like as far as you can tell, the origin is somewhere in the northwest in New Mexico.

[Chuck]

I say let's hit the road. Let's get to it. Canatillo or Olviedo?

[Father Flint Westwater]

Olvido.

[Chuck]

And we have no idea how far Olviedo is. Right.

[Game Master]

Well, I feel like Johnny and Jeremiah are the most likely to understand what's going on in New Mexico territory? Just because they roam around a lot, why don't the two of you make either intelligence or navigate rolls for me?

[Chuck]

I rolled a 29.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I rolled a 97.

[Game Master]

All right, well, Jeremiah doesn't know shit.

[Chuck]

And with a hard success, I know exactly how close it is. Right?

[Lance Kilkenny]

Yeah.

[Game Master]

Johnny knows that if you follow the Rio Grande north, you're going to run up against Olvido in a couple of days.

[Chuck]

Okay. I'm going to relay that information to the team here. I think we. We ride a couple days up river, we're going to stumble across it. I'm fine with that.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I think you're an idiot.

[Chuck]

Johnny is clearly saying this to Ellie.

[Game Master]

All right, Ellie, hearing this from Johnny, why don't you make a law roll.

[Ellie Bishop]

82?

[Game Master]

Ellie, you thought maybe with a town name, you might know somebody working the law there, maybe a local deputy. But you've got nothing for Olvido. You've never even heard of this place, and now you're just needing to figure out if you trust Johnny. Or do you feel like you've got to get back to Canateo to regroup? Or you could just hit the road and start looking for Colin Brock.

[Ellie Bishop]

So we've all got to stay together, right?

[Game Master]

It's a good idea to stay together, especially across long distances.

[Ellie Bishop]

Mm.

[Game Master]

And if you do decide to go to Olvito as a group, I would like to know your motivation for going there. Yours is obvious.

[Chuck]

Wait, whose is obvious?

[Game Master]

Ellie's been searching for Colin Brock for three years to bring him justice.

[Chuck]

Oh, yeah.

[Game Master]

Now she's got an indication that maybe he's an Alvido.

[Lance Kilkenny]

And I'm sticking with Ellie because I hate every last member of that gang that I used to be a part of.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I reckon she paid me for an honest day's work. And if we actually come across a man and killed her pappy, I'd like to help.

[Chuck]

Johnny, he's actually very intrigued by these people wanting to take that body.

[Father Flint Westwater]

And Father Flint is really not welcome in any town, so he's willing to go to a new town and try to see if he can scrounge up some money and some new parishioners. So let's give it a go.

[Game Master]

So, in terms of getting there, Ellie, you have your horse, your trusty mayor is there. Father, you rode in on a horse as well. And Lance, you also have a horse.

[Father Flint Westwater]

Awesome.

[Game Master]

You, Johnny.

[Chuck]

And Johnny walked. Right?

[Game Master]

You, Johnny just kind of materialized. No one knows exactly how you got there.

[Chuck]

No, that's fine. I'm comfortable with that.

[Game Master]

And maybe Jeremiah just hopped on the back of Lance's horse to get out here. So you had three horses. But of course, there is that horse wandering around in circles. Its rider was burst to pieces.

[Chuck]

Johnny is making a move for that horse.

[Game Master]

Jeremiah, I don't know if you have any interest in this horse that Johnny's going after. If you want to oppose this.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I oppose because I want a pony.

[Chuck]

That's that. That's fine. Yeah.

[Game Master]

Are you opposing physically, or do you want to have, like, a battle to see who can break this horse?

[Chuck]

Is this Black beauty? What are we doing?

[Game Master]

We're just gonna make 5% animal handling rolls until someone succeeds.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Reckon I'm gonna challenge you to breaking this horse down. We gonna call it and whoever it comes to, it loves.

[Game Master]

That's good.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I think that's fair to the animal.

[Game Master]

I'm sorry for this, Johnny, but I'm gonna ask you to persuade this horse.

[Chuck]

Persuade it.

[Game Master]

Instead of using animal handling.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Why don't you sway? Talk it like you did that unconscious man over there who's dead and hog died.

[Chuck]

I'm gonna say, hey, hey, hey, little fellow. Come on over here.

[Game Master]

Roll for this.

[Chuck]

That's a 56.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I got an 11.

[Game Master]

Okay. So, Jeremiah, how do you sweet talk this horse?

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Hey, hey, horse. You know, if you come over to me, I'll let you choose your name through a series of nods. I will respect you as a. As a fellow creature on this earth, and then I will give you various vegetables. What do you think about that? If you agree, why don't you come over here and give me a nudge on the chin?

[Game Master]

The horse just straight away walks to Jeremiah and plants a big kiss on your face. And, Johnny, you are still drifting, literally through this world.

[Chuck]

You said I materialized here. As soon as they start to ride off, I just sort of phase out of existence and I keep reappearing on the horizon.

[Game Master]

It's like a race car game when you go too far off the track.

[Chuck]

Yeah, I'm the blue shell.

[Game Master]

Yes, you just reappear miraculously. So you could, Johnny, request to ride, like, a tandem horse with one of these other riders?

[Chuck]

Well, I think the only one I'm gonna ask is Ellie, because I hate everyone else.

[Game Master]

So, Ellie, I won't make you roll for it or anything. I'll just give you the decision of whether you want to let Johnny ride along.

[Ellie Bishop]

Yeah. Come on.

[Chuck]

Thank you, Ms. Ellie.

[Game Master]

Which is generous because Johnny hasn't bathed in probably a couple of weeks.

[Chuck]

But I am slight of frame.

[Game Master]

True that could be helpful.

[Chuck]

I'm not taking a lot of space.

[Game Master]

And you are, if I'm not mistaken, the most attractive member of the party.

[Chuck]

That is alarming. Is that true?

[Game Master]

Yes, it's true.

[Chuck]

Wow. Yeah, I mean, he's not well bathed, but there's sort of a rakish charm there. It's that McConaughey thing. Yeah, exactly. He's a McConaughey.

[Father Flint Westwater]

Hook em horns, baby.

[Game Master]

So the posse on four horses rides ceremoniously across the railroad bridge, trampling over Maxwell Posey's body, breaking his neck. One more time. And a little bit of time has passed. It's probably Foley on that. It takes a little while to pull things up.

[Chuck]

Play it six times in rapid succession.

[Game Master]

This is every horse walking over Maxwell Posey's neck.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Back there. I gotta ride my horse back five feet. Okay, I got it, I got it. Oh, wait, look. They're standing lines. I want to go look at them closer. Okay, I'm really coming back for real now.

[Game Master]

So there's actually no more bone to.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Break and we're moving on to cartilage.

[Game Master]

Well, that went further off the rails than Maxwell Posey, but nonetheless, your party sets forth single file. Your horses are already huffing in the heat of day and you're creeping toward a landscape that's washed out by a white hot sun. Echoes in the dry wind blow in from the north carrying bad omens from Olvido.

[Lance Kilkenny]

So am I going with him or.

[Game Master]

Who is that?

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

Wait, he's gonna ride over here. He's gonna walk over the neck again.

[Lance Kilkenny]

It's me. It's me. It's your boy Lance.

[Game Master]

Lance had stated that you're gonna go exact revenge on Colin Brock' so I believe that you are going.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Okay, I just wanted to make sure.

[Game Master]

That I'm fucking crying and then I don't even. I don't even know you look back and one of the beams from the bridge has fallen onto poor Maxwell. Alright, so we are in some ways ready for the next session.

[Narrator]

Sweet.

[Father Flint Westwater]

All right, let's start right now.

[Lance Kilkenny]

Yeah, let's.

[Game Master]

Yeah, this is fun as shit.

[Jeremiah Fensworth Yar]

I love this.

[Anousheh Battersby]

You can enjoy the next episode and explore 10 additional seasons of Ain't Slay Nobody. Featuring a variety of RPG systems and unique settings, from highly produced narratives to improvised adventures. Listen wherever you find podcasts linked the description [e-mail] thanks for listening.