Loading summary
State Farm Representative
Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really life insurance. Why? Because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage, credit card debt. It can even help fund an education. And guess what? Life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think. In fact, most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is. So with State Farm life insurance, you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank. Not sure where to start? State farm has over 19,000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget. Get started today and contact a State Farm agent or go to statefarm.com the.
Blue Nile Representative
Holidays are coming and everything's aglow. Give your loved one a reason to sparkle with Jewelry from Blue Nile Right now, Blue Nile is offering special Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals. Save up to 50% on the season's most stunning trends or keep it classic with an endless selection of bold gold styles, gemstone jewelry, and eternally stylish diamond pieces. Shop now for up to 50% off jewelry@blue nile.com the original online jeweler. That's blue nile.com bluenile.com.
TikTok Representative
Hear that? It could be the sound of your phone dinging every time you sell a product with TikTok ads this holiday season. If you've ever thought about advertising your business on TikTok, now is the time to do it. You can drive more customers to your website, sell products right in the app, and you can even use TikTok's creative tools to easily make content and find creators to help sell your products for you. But you have to start now. So head over to getstarted.TikTok.com holiday24 and drive more holiday sales today.
American Giant Representative
Back in 1980, 70% of clothing worn by Americans was made by Americans. Today, it's 2%. And the reason is simple. It's cheaper to make things overseas. But that doesn't change the fact that 2% of textile manufacturers have refused to give up on this country. And those companies deserve to be congratulated. I'm talking about companies like American Giant. American Giant controls every link in their supply chain. And that matters because when you buy from American Giant, you create jobs for people in factory towns all across this country. Look, I get it. Nobody wants a lecture. But if you want to see more companies make more things in this country, you got to support the companies who are already doing that very thing this holiday. Check out the clothing@american-giant.com flannels hoodies, t shirts and jeans made to last a lifetime support the 2% who are still making it. Here at american-giant.com.
Acast Representative
Acast powers the world's best podcasts.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Here's a show that we recommend.
Joanna Coles
Welcome to the Daily Beast Podcast. I'm Joanna Coles, Chief Content Officer of the Daily Beast. And I am Samantha Beat, Chief Content Officer of my house and home and nothing else. Every Thursday we're inviting you to the best dinner party you've ever been to. You're going to hear all our spicy takes on what's happening in politics and pop culture straight from the Daily Beast newsroom. And we'll be having amazing guests too. Those sort of guests you've always wanted to sit next to and talk to. Off the record, thank you for listening. And please, like subscribe and share this podcast with a friend you want to feel smarter than or argue with. Look, if you're sharing, feel free to share it with all your weird uncles too.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcast everywhere. Acast.com.
Samantha Beat
Hi everyone. Alex here to pep you up with big cable knit jumper energy. Now, some of you might not know this, but after a long hard day of brutally murdering your favourite characters, there's nothing I like more than sitting down in a big comfy armchair and enjoying a nice hot cup of fluffy Wuffy UWU nonsense juice. Now, I know what you're thinking, Alex. The world is dying, held hostage by corporate greed and myopic self interested political leaders. I don't have time to check in on my favourite blorbo scrunkly twink ship drama. I've got to go eat the rich. And I hear you, I really do. Eating the rich is important, but so is self care. And sometimes you've got to slow down to smell the flowers. So with that in mind, we wanted to give you a little something to help you out. A sousant of silliness to send you on your way. And so we present to you this lovingly crafted season one bonus fluff episode affectionately titled Plenty More Fish, which is full to the brim with positivity like friendship, love and punctuality, and is guaranteed completely organic and free from artificial horrors. So while you're waiting for your Amazon basics guillotine to arrive, why not sit back, relax and enjoy a taste of our delicious nonsense? Mmm. Yum.
Acast Representative
There you are. What happened to the usual table already taken? What? How are we supposed to mope about in the corner when we're in the middle of the room? The vibes here are unconducive to bitterness.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Yeah, well, tough. So set your vibes down and get drinking. Already got your pint of your hipster piss.
Acast Representative
IPAs aren't hipster, Colin. They sell them in Tesco.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Almost thought you weren't gonna show.
Acast Representative
And miss the chance of seeing you moaning into your pint? Never.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
It's a better listener than you.
Acast Representative
True. But it hardly ever calls you a sour old wanker with no taste in women. Or drink.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Harsh, but fear.
Acast Representative
Speaking of merry divorce and a happy piss off. What is it now? 3 years?
Daily Beast Podcast Host
4 and 12.
Acast Representative
Still living the bachelor dream?
Daily Beast Podcast Host
What, dying alone? That's the plan.
Acast Representative
Is your next of kin still that hard drive where you keep all of your porn?
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Ah, you think it's just the one? Poor naive Alice. So young, so foolish in the ways of love. Speaking of.
Acast Representative
And there it is. Go on then. Take your shots at poor little Alice.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
It's been, what, a month now?
Acast Representative
About that.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
I still can't believe you got him the job after everything you said.
Acast Representative
Hey, moaning about exes on divorce, miss, is just what you do. He's actually a good guy who just needed to catch a break.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Sure, sure. Must be hard for you, though. All those unfamiliar human feelings bubble into the surface.
Acast Representative
Ew. Are you trying to upset me right then? Up your game, Becca, because I'm a stone cold emotional fortress.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Oh, good. Then you probably won't have a problem with what's lurking behind you.
Acast Representative
What?
Alice Dyer
Alice? Colin?
Acast Representative
Oh, God.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Alice. What is Sam doing here?
Acast Representative
I.
TikTok Representative
Hey.
Alice Dyer
Am I early?
Daily Beast Podcast Host
No. Did Alice invite you?
Alice Dyer
Uh, yeah. She said you were having a divorce party, which I assumed was just her way of saying a bit of a booze up.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
So you see, Alice, this is what happens when everything that comes out your mouth is a sarcastic joke. People get confused.
Alice Dyer
Oh. Ah, Listen, if I'm intruding, I can.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
You're here now. What are you drinking?
Alice Dyer
Uh, ipa. Thanks, Alice.
Acast Representative
Okay, so Colin's been divorced a couple of times, and as part of some bizarre cosmic joke, both of them ended up being finalized on the same day of the year. So he and I, we've kind of got this little tradition now where on that day, today, we get together, get pissed, and.
Alice Dyer
And.
Acast Representative
And bitch about our exes.
Alice Dyer
Oh. Oh, I should go.
Acast Representative
Too late for that. Colin's already gone to get you a drink. You duck out now and you're as good as dead. Sure, but I wouldn't worry. He loves to see me squirm, so I'm sure he'll have a great time here.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
You Go.
Alice Dyer
Thanks.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Drink it.
Alice Dyer
Okay.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Well, go on then.
Alice Dyer
Sorry.
Acast Representative
I think what Colin is trying to say is that as the newest member of this particular bitchy subcommittee, you have to spill on your exes.
Alice Dyer
Um, okay, so there was this girl.
Acast Representative
I'm right here.
Alice Dyer
Hey. I'll have you know I have plenty of exes.
Acast Representative
What, like actual humans?
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Get on with that.
Alice Dyer
Right, yeah. Sorry. So her name was Kelly and she worked at my old office in hr.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Red flag.
Acast Representative
Did she make you sign a form?
Alice Dyer
She was nice.
Acast Representative
That's not what I asked.
Alice Dyer
She may have needed us to declare a potential conflict of interest, but. But that wasn't why we split up.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Christ, what was the reason then?
Alice Dyer
Oh, it just didn't work out.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Right.
Acast Representative
Listen, Sam, if you're going to hang with the mean girls, you're going to have to do better than that. What sucked about her? What obnoxious habit did she have? What drove you up the wall and made you want to gnaw your arm off?
Alice Dyer
Oh, I don't know. Oh, actually, she had this weird thing where when she laughed, her tongue came like all the way out of her mouth. It was so weird. I can't really do it. It was like.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
That's not what we're talking.
Alice Dyer
Right. And she was into old black and white comedies. You know, Laurel and Hardy, the Marx Brothers, that kind of thing.
Acast Representative
I mean, that's annoying, sure, but it's not. Really.
Alice Dyer
No, I mean, she was really into them. As in every date was around her place watching old movies and every time we ended up.
Acast Representative
I'm sure you looked very fetching dressed up as Charlie Chaplin in stockings and handcuffs.
Alice Dyer
What? No, it was nothing like that. Although she did ask me if I smoked cigars and seemed a bit disappointed when I said no.
Acast Representative
Oh, Sam. My poor little oblivious baby shrimp.
Alice Dyer
I'm telling you, it wasn't like that. We were just talking about. Oh, my God.
Acast Representative
What?
Alice Dyer
She bought me a bowler hat.
Acast Representative
I'm sorry, what do you mean she bought you a bowler hat?
Alice Dyer
It was a gift. She said she thought I'd look good in it.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
I bet she did.
Acast Representative
Amazing.
Alice Dyer
It's not like I wore it out on the street or anything. Just once or twice. When.
Acast Representative
Oh, Sam, I know you think you want normal, but I think it's pretty obvious that deep down you only go for the truly depraved and bizarre.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Sounds about right.
Acast Representative
Damn skippy.
Alice Dyer
Well, what about you then, huh? I'm guessing it was non stop horror stories when I wasn't on the scene.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Mate, you have no idea. You are a well Adjusted genius alpha male heartthrob compared to what Alice has been dating.
Acast Representative
I'm not that bad.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Oh no? So you'd be happy to hang out with Amy again then?
Acast Representative
Look, say what you like about Amy.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
All right, I will. She was a psycho who got you mixed up with your own brother and then stabbed him for being an imposter.
Alice Dyer
I'm sorry, what?
Acast Representative
Okay, Colin is exaggerating. She barely broke the skin. And in her defense she was very high at the time.
Alice Dyer
Jesus.
Acast Representative
Obviously we broke up after.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Yeah, a month.
Alice Dyer
After a month? Jesus, Alice.
Acast Representative
As I was trying to say earlier. Say what you like about Amy but she was a fabulous lay.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
My theory is Alice can only get off with people who are properly batshit. You know? Like God, what was his name?
Acast Representative
Ignatius.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
How is that bloody Ignatius? The man who was being hunted for the secret to cold fusion.
Acast Representative
Okay, in my defense, he didn't tell me that until the second day.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Sure, because he was too busy on your first day explaining how he might need to go off grid because he was being pursued by. What was it he said?
Acast Representative
Despicable agents of numerous foreign powers.
Alice Dyer
And there was a second date.
Acast Representative
He could have been a sexy super spy.
Alice Dyer
I mean, I don't know how super he could be if he told you that on the first date.
Acast Representative
Oh, sticking up your bowler hat. You have no idea how bad it is out there for a trans woman with basic standards.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Aight, so if I meet one she'll have my sympathies.
Acast Representative
Europe. You're up Becca.
Alice Dyer
Oh yeah. This is your divorce party or whatever, isn't it? So go on then. Weirdest hookup.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
I don't do hookups. I mostly just hate people. Marry them then divorce them.
Acast Representative
Speaking of, you're about due to drop down on one knee again, aren't you? I'd watch out if I were you, Sam.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
If I'm on my knees near any of you lot it'll be because I'm finally rigging the entire place to blow with you inside it.
Acast Representative
Know what I mean?
Alice Dyer
All right then how about the first marriage? What happened there?
Daily Beast Podcast Host
He cheated on me with my manager. Had been for a while.
Alice Dyer
Shit.
Acast Representative
Right, sure. Tragic. Terrible breach of trust and all that. Blah, blah blah. But that's not the real reason, is it Colin?
Alice Dyer
Alice, come on. You don't need to.
Acast Representative
Colin.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Might have been sort of maybe looking to break off anyway for a while.
Acast Representative
Oh yeah, because.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Because he was turning into crypto bro.
Alice Dyer
I'm sorry, what?
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Oh yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You try living with someone when they fill the flat with bloody graphics cards running non stop. He never put towards the energy bill and every conversation was just another lecture on bloody blockchain or blobcoin or whatever the latest bullshit doing the rounds on Reddit was.
Alice Dyer
That does sound a lot.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Yeah. So when I caught him messing around with Clive, I dropped his crypto wallet in the bog, took a dump and flushed. Last time I checked, that shit would be worth about 1.2 million now.
Alice Dyer
Jesus Christ.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Yeah.
Acast Representative
And that, Sam, is why we celebrate this most holy of days to drink, moan, and remind ourselves it's absolutely the right decision to die bitter and alone. There's plenty more fish in the sea.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
And they're all covered in their own shite.
Alice Dyer
Hmm. Well, I don't know if I'm quite at your level yet. Still got the heart of a romantic, I guess.
Acast Representative
Oh, we'll cut that out of you and burn it on the altar as a sacrifice to the gods of messy breakups.
Alice Dyer
I see. And would the high priests of heartbreak accept a pair of pints to sacrifice instead?
Acast Representative
I suppose they could be convinced to lightly amend our dread litany.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
Just as long as there isn't any of that IPA pests.
Alice Dyer
Of course, your holiness.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
I expect a full report on him next year, after you wreck your life reopening that particular scrawny can of worms.
Acast Representative
Bite me.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
No thanks. Vegetarian, remember?
Acast Representative
Then go suck a carrot or something.
Daily Beast Podcast Host
I wish I could, Alice. I really do.
Samantha Beat
The Magnus Protocol is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non Commercial ShareAlike 4.0 International License. The series is created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J. Newall and directed by Alexander J. Newall. This episode was written by Jonathan Sims and edited with additional materials by Alexander J. Newall, with vocal edits by Nico Vertesi, soundscaping by Tessa Vroom, and mastering by Katherine Rinella. It featured Billy Hindle as Alice Dyer, Shahan Hamza as Suman Khalid and Ryan Hope Veer Anderson as Colin Becker. The Magnus Protocol is produced by April Sumner with executive producers Alexander J. Newell, Danny McDonagh, Lindsey, and Samantha F.G. hamilton, with associate producers Jordan L. Hawk, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius de Raven, and Megan. Nice to subscribe View associated materials or join our Patreon visit rustyquill.com Rate and review us online. Tweet usherustyquill. Visit us on Facebook or email us via mail@rustedquill.com Yum.
State Farm Representative
Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really important. Life insurance. Why because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage, credit card debt. It can even help fund an education. And guess what? Life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think. In fact, most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is. So with State Farm Life insurance, you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank. Not sure where to start? State farm has over 19,000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget. Get started today and contact a State Farm agent or go to statefarm.com hi.
Acast Representative
Everyone, it's Billy, the voice of Alice in the Magnus Protocol. Here today I'm here to advertise the Other Stories, one of a range of new podcasts recently launched on the RQ Network from the brilliant creative team at the Story Studio, Hawk and Cleaver. The Other Stories is an award winning weekly audio fiction podcast featuring incredible stories across multiple genres including horror, thrillers and sci fi. With over 600 episodes and a range of miniseries or individual stories, they have stories for everyone. Search for the Other Stories wherever you listen to your podcasts or go to theotherstories.net or rustyquill.com.com for more information. Have fun and see you later.
The Magnus Protocol Fluff 1 - Plenty More Fish
Released on October 3, 2024
The Magnus Protocol Fluff 1 - Plenty More Fish serves as a light-hearted foray into the darker corridors of the Magnus Institute archives. Diverging from the traditional horror narrative, this fluff episode offers listeners a comedic interlude featuring characters that intertwine humor with subtle hints of the esoteric elements typical of The Magnus Archives. This episode is particularly notable for its crossover elements and character-driven interactions, providing fans with a refreshing yet engaging experience.
The episode opens with a satire-laden portrayal of a divorce party, hosted by the charismatic yet cynical Daily Beast Podcast Host, Samantha Beat. The setting is a convivial space where individuals commemorate the end of their tumultuous relationships with a blend of humor and bitterness. The arrival of Alice Dyer introduces a new dynamic, sparking a series of witty exchanges that drive the narrative forward.
1. Introducing the Characters
Samantha Beat (Daily Beast Podcast Host): The central figure orchestrating the divorce party, Samantha exudes a blend of sarcasm and dark humor, setting the tone for the episode's interactions.
Acast Representative: Serving as a foil to Samantha, the Acast Representative brings a contrasting energy, embodying the archetypal emotional fortress with a penchant for blunt remarks.
Alice Dyer: The guest at the divorce party, Alice's presence catalyzes the unfolding of personal anecdotes and humorous storytelling.
2. The Banter Begins
The initial dialogue establishes the strained camaraderie between Samantha and the Acast Representative, with both characters engaging in playful antagonism. For instance, at [07:11], Samantha quips:
Samantha Beat: "If I'm on my knees near any of you lot it'll be because I'm finally rigging the entire place to blow with you inside it."
This line underscores Samantha's irreverent humor and sets the stage for the ensuing conversation.
3. Alice Dyer's Entrance
Alice's arrival shifts the focus, prompting reflections on past relationships. The dialogue delves into Samantha and Colin Becker's (another attendee) failed marriages, offering a comedic exploration of their exes' quirks and the tribulations of moving on. At [09:03], Alice recounts her relationship with Kelly:
Alice Dyer: "She was really into them. As in every date was around her place watching old movies and every time we ended up..."
This narrative not only provides character depth but also injects humor through relatable relationship anecdotes.
4. Humorous Anecdotes and Ex-Relationships
The conversation oscillates between humorous grievances and amusing confessions about past relationships. For example, Samantha discusses her ex's obsession with cryptocurrency:
Samantha Beat: "He was turning into a crypto bro... he never put towards the energy bill and every conversation was just another lecture on bloody blockchain."
This blend of modern relationship struggles with comedic exaggeration resonates with contemporary listeners, adding layers to the character dynamics.
5. Thematic Underpinnings
Beneath the humor lies a subtle commentary on the nature of relationships and the universal quest for connection amidst chaos. The interactions hint at underlying tensions and unresolved emotions, characteristic of The Magnus Archives' exploration of the esoteric and the human psyche.
Samantha Beat at [07:11]:
"If I'm on my knees near any of you lot it'll be because I'm finally rigging the entire place to blow with you inside it."
Alice Dyer at [09:03]:
"She was really into them. As in every date was around her place watching old movies and every time we ended up..."
Acast Representative at [10:38]:
"Oh, Sam. My poor little oblivious baby shrimp."
Samantha Beat at [14:36]:
"Yeah, well, tough. So set your vibes down and get drinking. Already got your pint of your hipster piss."
These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of sarcasm, humor, and character-driven storytelling, providing snapshots of the lively exchanges that define the narrative.
The Magnus Protocol Fluff 1 - Plenty More Fish diverges from the institute's typical horror-centric episodes, offering instead a comedic exploration of personal relationships and social interactions. This approach not only provides listeners with a respite from the usual tension but also enriches the Magnus universe by showcasing the multifaceted personalities within its archives.
The episode's success lies in its ability to balance humor with character development, creating an engaging narrative that resonates with audiences. By integrating relatable scenarios with the institute's trademark esoteric flair, the episode maintains the essence of The Magnus Archives while offering a fresh and entertaining perspective.
Furthermore, the inclusion of crossover elements, such as references to the Daily Beast Podcast and the Acast platform, adds a meta-layer to the episode, bridging the gap between the fictional world and the real-world podcasting landscape. This clever intertwining enhances the listening experience, making Plenty More Fish a standout installment in The Magnus Protocol series.
Plenty More Fish exemplifies the versatility of The Magnus Archives, demonstrating that the institute's archives are not only repositories of horror but also chronicles of human folly and humor. This fluff episode enriches the overarching narrative by providing depth to its characters through humor and relatability, ensuring that listeners remain engaged and invested in the ever-expanding world of the Magnus Institute.
For fans eager to delve deeper into the lighter side of the Magnus universe, this episode offers a delightful blend of comedy and character study, setting the stage for future installments in The Magnus Protocol series.