
In this episode, you’ll learn how to access your creativity, and use it to live a more purpose-driven life. Today, Mel and her guest Phil Cook will help you realize: you’re more creative than you think. If you’ve felt stuck, spread thin, or like your ideas never make it off the Notes app, this is your reset. You’ll get a practical method to quiet the noise, spot what actually sparks something in you, and act on it – fast. In this episode, you’ll hear from musician and songwriter Phil Cook. Yes, he’s toured the world and made award-winning records, but this conversation is about something deeper: how to unlock your creativity and use it to feel more inspired every day. You’ll learn a simple, repeatable way to reconnect with your intuition, make faster decisions, and unlock energy and creativity, whether you think of yourself as “creative” or not. You’ll walk away with clear tools to: -Get unstuck and take action without overthinking -Spot what energizes you and build on ...
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Mel Robbins
Hey, it's your friend Mel. And welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Let me ask you something. When was the last time you felt creative? Not productive, not busy, creative. I mean in the moment, alive, lost in the flow of something. Well, if you haven't felt like that in a while, you're not alone. You and I live in a world that just moves way too fast. We're always scrolling and comparing and reacting. There is something more important than making space for your own ideas, for your own feelings. No wonder you feel so disconnected. But you want to know something? That creative part of you, it's not gone. It's been in there since you were born. It's connected to your intuition. See, it's just buried underneath the noise. Today, we're going to help you access it. See, creativity is not about what you're making. It's how you move through the world. It's not just your art. It's in your instincts, your intuition. You were born as a creative person. Let me say this out loud. Creativity is not just for artists or musicians. I'm serious. You are so much more creative than you think. If you're building a business or raising a family or writing a caption on social media, or you're trying to solve a problem, right now, you're already creating. You just haven't been told that you're a creative person. Well, after this episode, you're going to stop waiting for permission to be creative and you're going to finally understand creativity is part of who you are. You're going to be learning four powerful principles that will help you access your natural born creativity. Because creativity is not about being perfect. It's not about performing. It's not about producing anything. It's about creativity is a way to tap into something deeper and more meaningful in your daily life. And today, we are going to unleash it. So I was just parking my car and then I saw you. The Gecko. Huge fan. I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild.
Geico Gecko
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Mel Robbins
Well, the Geico app is top notch.
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Mel Robbins
The time, but could you sign it? Sign what? The app. Yeah, sure. Oh, that means so much. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again? Anything to help, I suppose. You're the best.
Phil Cooke
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Mel Robbins
You know, I want to tell you about one of our sponsors, Ashley. I love Ashley because They really helped me address a problem that I had. See, my daughter Kendall has moved into a new apartment in Los Angeles. She's super stressed out because she doesn't have any furniture. So we headed to Ashley to check out pieces. And you want to know what's so cool? Here I am on the east coast, she's in Los Angeles. We can log on to Ashley.com and look at it together. They make furniture shopping online fun and easy. Because Ashley has well crafted quality pieces built to stand up to real life. They take the guesswork out of it. Ashley will send you free fabric swatches to show you exactly what you're getting so you don't have to guess and be like, well, what's that going to look like when it actually arrives? The prices make sense and fast, reliable white glove delivery right to your door. And so Kendall and I picked out a four piece set. I can't believe the price when it showed up. Oh my gosh. Her reaction said it all. And with a wide product range, so many affordable options to choose from, Ashley has furniture to suit every style and budget. And while I was looking for Kendall, I may have found a few things for myself too. They take the stress out of shopping. They leave you with furniture you love. Visit your local Ashley store or head to Ashley.com to find your style foreign. Hey, it's your friend Mel. And welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. It is such an honor to be together and spend this time with you. And if you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this with you, I just wanted to personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I'm so excited that you're here because today we're going to talk about how you can tap into your natural born creativity and to live a more purpose driven life. You're gonna learn four principles that will help you be more creative in your life. No matter what you do for work. Whether you're a nurse, a teacher, a parent, a barista, a founder, a student, or just someone who's tired of feeling stuck, the principles you're gonna learn today are gonna help you stop holding yourself back and start living your life in a way that matters. And to help me do that, I am joined by one of the most grounded and fun and, and inspiring and creatively awake people I know, Phil Cooke. Phil is a musician and a songwriter. He's played with Grammy award winning artists like Bon Iver, he's produced award winning gospel records, and he's released his own deeply personal albums. And you're gonna hear some of his music throughout this episode. He's also toured with artists for more than 20 years. And just this past year, he completed his first ever solo US Tour. But that's not why I asked Phil here. See, what makes Phil so special is how he sees the world. And Phil is like you and me. He's lived through a lot of stuff. Divorce, burnout, reinvention, self doubt. He's a single dad of two kids, and yet he still wakes up every day and intentionally taps into creativity to help him stay connected to his intuition, to help him make decisions, and to help him live a more purpose driven life. And today, he's going to help you do the same thing. Phil is a walking reminder that creativity is human art and authenticity. They're not separate and joy. It's not something you chase, it's something you remember. So if you're tired, uninspired, or if you've been wondering, is this really all there is, if some part of you knows there's more to life, there's more to you. There's more than what you're currently experiencing, well, this conversation today is for you. It's for your heart, it's for your spirit, it's for your creativity. Because here's what I know. By the time you're done listening, there's gonna be something. There's gonna be something that you experience, something that stirs inside you, that awakens, that brings you back to life. That's how powerful your creative spirit is. And today, Phil and I are gonna help you tap back into it. Phil Cook, I am so excited to welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast.
Phil Cooke
Thanks, Mel.
Mel Robbins
I already feel more creative and alive.
Phil Cooke
Hey. I feel very seen. Thank you.
Mel Robbins
You do?
Phil Cooke
Yeah. Yeah.
Mel Robbins
You know, Phil, I really wanted to talk to you about creativity because you are living it. You have a very creative life. Something about you and the way that you move through life awakens something in me. And I wanted to introduce you to the person who is here with us right now. They may be watching on YouTube, you might be taking a walk or you're driving a car. And Phil and I are now sitting with you. And Phil, I'd love to have you tell the person who's with us right now, what could they experience in their life that might be different about how life feels. If they really take to heart everything that you're about to share with us today about creativity, about the lessons that you've learned by living a creative life, what could be different?
Phil Cooke
Life is hard and painful and beautiful. We are all living in these human bodies, born into this world. Who knows how much time we have? So much is happening around us every single day. So much distraction, so much noise. Life gets fat. It's like fast forwarding, right? And sometimes I feel like it's like our senses are this one big inhale of all this information year after year. And creativity allows us to exhale what works hand in hand with intuition. Intuition is tied to our soul. Our soul and our intuition and our creativity all working together at the same time. The thing I want to talk about today really is your intuition is a voice that's inside of you that you can come to know. This voice inside of you and come to help you make decisions in your life. Like tuning a guitar string to exactly the right pitch of you, you know, and your intuition and your creativity feed each other. Your intuition will inform your creativity and your creativity hones your intuition. So you start to listen to your inner voice more. Most people, I think, want to know what that inner voice is when they feel lost. Guide me, help guide me. So when we tap into our intuition, what we're really tapping into is a chance to know ourselves in a deeper way.
Mel Robbins
I love what you said about the exhale.
Phil Cooke
Exhale.
Mel Robbins
That creativity is a way to exhale. And you are somebody who's made a living being creative as a musician, as a producer, as a writer, as all the things that you do. But there's a very big difference between having a career that's creative and introducing creativity into your life. And you do both. It's not just a job. You've infused this creative spirit into the way that you live your day to day life. And I love what you said that decision making is just like tuning a guitar string because you are trying to hone in on what actually feels or sounds true for you. What do you say to the person who's listening who does not think they are creative at all? Like, this is not a conversation for me. I don't know how to write a song. I'm not good at drawing. I'm not creative. What do you say to that person?
Phil Cooke
Right, well, let's go through the narratives. You watch somebody play a Beethoven piece and you're just like, well, that'll never be me. Or I tried once in elementary school and somebody said an offhanded remark to you and like, oh, I guess that's not for me. Oh, I shouldn't say, oh, I shouldn't sing. You know, people get these like micro traumas from childhood that they're like, this is My story, it's never for me. It's never for me ever again. We need to break those narratives, because here's the fact. On your way to work this morning, a certain song came on, and you cranked that song. Maybe on your lunch break, you got a certain sandwich that just sent your taste buds a fire, and you knew it would because it's your favorite sandwich in the whole world, maybe your bathroom. You painted a certain color because you love that. That color yellow. You have information coming into you from your senses, preferences, things that call to you that you actually do love when. And there's moments that guide all of us towards what the language of us can be. You can speak the language of you. You just have to pay attention to what it is that you notice about life coming in. What do you notice? What are the patterns that you kind of constantly see? There's a key in there to what you have inside of you to exhale. And creativity. I simply want for you to make it through your life with a companion. It really is a companion.
Mel Robbins
What is a companion?
Phil Cooke
Your intuition and your creativity. Become something that can be like a light in the dark for you in the cathedral that we each contain within ourselves. We get to explore this. And this is your way to actually explore it and come to know what it is that makes up what has always been about you and what will always be about you and what there still is to discover. And all of us need a friend in times when it's like the loneliest times of life. And my. My hope for you, the listener, is that I can just encourage you to be worthy of taking on this deeper meaning in existence, in your life that could even heal the wounds that you have in the process.
Mel Robbins
Well, what I'm getting from listening to you is that it's literally like the aliveness of life that flows into you and that can flow out of you. And that brings me to these four principles of creativity that we're going to talk about. And the first one that you have is shed the weight of expectations. Now, what does that mean to you, Phil?
Phil Cooke
Shedding the weight is all about worthiness. People have access problems and stories about themselves that are incomplete and limiting. And my hunch is that most people don't realize how they're already being creative in their life. So many small ways. But to begin to see and hear and understand the language of you gives you these clues that you have something to say. You can exhale this life, this experience.
Mel Robbins
You said that there are small ways that you're already being Creative, and you don't even realize it. Can you give me examples of that?
Phil Cooke
Okay, so a good example would be for me if you, you know, it's Friday night, it's pizza night. Kids come home from school, you throw the pizza in the oven, you add certain things onto it, because your oldest kid likes on half and the younger kid likes on half. But you like the way that you. You kind of found a different way into it. So even just making a pizza that wasn't there before, you've learned how to make this thing, okay? And then you feed it to your kids. It was not there before. Now it's here. Your kids, you know, hunger was not there before. It's here, and then it was satiated. You move on with your day. Maybe there's something that your grandma made for you when you were a kid and that calls to you, and you decide you're gonna make that for your kids. That is the quintessential version of creativity for me, is to take an existence, something from your existence and your past in your present. You roll it all into a ball, and then you just find a way to put it together in a way that makes sense for you. That can be as simple as that. As simple as making a pizza and making a blt. Just the way that the lettuce is cut. The way these things happen, or the way that. Maybe it's the way you tie a fishing line, just like your grandpa taught you, but you found a way to do it a little bit better so it doesn't break quite as many times. And you'll know it when you find it. Because here's the thing. It calls to you. Something is calling to you, okay, across space and time. I don't know what it is, but something is calling to you. And your creativity is in the middle of that. Something is calling to you. And you see it through your day, you see it through your years. And maybe it's like some certain. It could be like, a wood carving. It could be something like, oh, I always want to work with wood. Oh, my gosh, I would love to do pottery someday. Oh, my gosh. You know? But you've really. It's like. But not surfing, not this. It's like, you definitely know, like, oh, I really want to take a pottery class. Why haven't you taken it yet? Is part of the story you're telling.
Mel Robbins
Yourself, and that's the shed, the expectation. So is the expectation even the weight that you put on yourself, that I can't be creative. I can't do that. Is that what you're talking about?
Phil Cooke
Shed the expectations is like, understand how you are already living and breathing this life in, and you are already noticing certain patterns in life that you're hearing or you're seeing certain things you prefer. You. Like, these are your guideposts. Let them come in, start to name them so you understand what they are, and then give these things to yourself in a way that like is like, okay, here's some clues. Sit with yourself. You know, what is it that's calling. What is there? What is that's calling to you through all of these things? Something is in there that's calling to you and most listeners. You know what I'm talking about. There's stuff that you know what it is, and you haven't given it to yourself yet. And you've always wanted. Wanted to do it. And there's like, an inkling. There's something deeper inside. This is your intuition.
Mel Robbins
Could it be as simple as being, I don't know, somebody that, you know? I'm trying to think of a job where you're basically a walking Excel spreadsheet. Like, it's all about the numbers. It's all about everything lining up. You consider yourself to be just one of those types of people that's not that creative, even though I think a job like that's very creative. But could it be just this impulse to want to wear fun socks?
Phil Cooke
Oh, thank you for saying that so much, Mel.
Mel Robbins
The thing is that he's lifting up his foot on the table and he's got music bars on his socks as he's kicking back and having a glass of water.
Phil Cooke
I'm doing the whole interview with this sock up on the table right now.
Mel Robbins
You're gonna pull your groin if you do.
Phil Cooke
Already did once today anyway. All right, listen. You know, wearing socks is an expression. There's a preference in there. You saw those socks. You bought them. And maybe you're keeping them a secret because they're hidden under those pants all the time, but maybe it's a little giggle. You're there for yourself. You amuse yourself by putting those socks on. Amen. You are being creative today. That is absolutely what it is. You got a belt buckle that you want to wear sometimes that is just like. Well, you know, I don't know if most people care about this or not, but I do wear that thing.
Mel Robbins
Well. What I love about the simplicity of this is that it's accessible to any of us. And the first principle of shedding the weight of expectations is probably the biggest Weight that people have is what you think you're supposed to be versus this small thing that you're inviting us to pay attention to that's already inside us. And I absolutely love. I'm gonna keep coming back to it. I'm sure, like the chorus in a song that becomes an earworm, that the fact that there is certain music that makes you come alive, the fact that there are certain places that make you drop your shoulders, the fact that you can taste certain things and you have this preference, the fact that you like bow ties versus this. This is all evidence of this thing in you that comes alive based on the world itself. And now we're learning about how to allow ourselves by shedding expectations that we have about who we are to express that outwardly, even if it's just for yourself, you're wearing funny underwear. Nobody knows, but you think it's funny. And that makes something happen in you. And that's the purpose of creativity. It's both to lift up the spirit. But there was a second part that you're talking about a lot that I wanna keep highlighting, which is the fact that you're noticing in yourself the desire to wear funny underwear, or the desire to have a purple highlighter, or the desire to take the pottery class. That is a way to start to tune your inner guitar string and pay attention to your intuition. And I wanna add to this because I think this principle is so important. There's this famous Pablo Picasso quote, right? All children are born artists. The problem is to remain an artist as we grow up. And Phil, I was looking at all this research. There was a really landmark study done that was all about creativity. And it was done in 1968. And they found that among 5 year olds, 98% of 5 year olds score crazy high for creativity. By the time adults are tested for creativity, 2% of them. And I personally believe it's because at some point we don't understand that we were all born with this inside us and we kind of mixed up. That being creative is about something that you create that other people like, when really it's about allowing yourself to express yourself in whatever form it's in. And so for me, I love this first rule that you have, that you have to shed the weight of expectations because it's the expectations that you have on yourself. And that's how you start to close off your own creative expression.
Phil Cooke
Oftentimes, parents will close off theirs and surrender it all to their kids. They'll try and put all of their unmet expectations in themselves onto Their kids. Piano lessons is a great example. You take piano lessons as a kid, you quit at some point in middle school, and then later on in life, you really miss it. And you're one of those people who says, I really wish I hadn't quit. But you know what you do? You sign your kids up for lessons because you're like, well, you do it. And then the kids ultimately feel not only the expectation of the pending recital and all of that that happens, that turns a lot of kids off, but also they feel the weight of your unmet expectations in yourself and their regret. There's an unresolved issue within you that you thrust onto your kids.
Mel Robbins
I did this. I made all my kids take guitar lessons. All of them. And I always wanted to play guitar. I have never picked up a guitar because I have a story that I'm not good at it. You have a banjo in the studio today, and as you were tuning it, I felt this thing stirring. And that is the perfect example and evidence that there is something in you that is already alive, wanting to be expressed. And somewhere along the way, you are the one that blocked it. And so if the person listening is feeling that, should they go take lessons? Like, what is the way that you lean in? You shed the weight of expectation, and you lean into this thing.
Phil Cooke
This needs to be resolved and healed on a broad scale. This specific. Just the piano as an example.
Mel Robbins
Okay.
Phil Cooke
This is a broad opinion. This really do. Because I have met so, so many adults that are sitting in that regret, and they get to the end of their life. The message is this. Let your children witness you reconnecting to something that you lost when you were young. This is for you to build a relationship and reconnect with yourself again. And then when your kids see you do that, they will understand something about the ongoing journey of life. It doesn't end when something ends. You always have a choice.
Mel Robbins
I love how you explain things. Phil. Principle number two, lower the stakes. Phil Cook. What does that mean?
Phil Cooke
Creativity and intuition are the language of your soul. I'm going to speak on this level. This is how I talk. This is me, okay? This is where I've arrived in life. I talk on this level. I'll talk to on this level, to the person who I see outside the door, whoever is near me at any place. This is just the level that I want to be at and operate and vibrate at. So this is where I'm at. You know?
Mel Robbins
You know what I say? Let them.
Phil Cooke
Let them. This is the language of your soul. Your soul is there's no one else in there. It's just you. You're the only one in there, Mel. I'm the only one in here. There's no one else in here with us, right? And it can be a scary place in here, you know, and that voice, you know, that drill sergeant voice, when it starts rocketing down, you know, at you and telling you you're doing everything wrong, you're not good enough, and all these things, right? But we have to actually break things down and lower the stakes. How do we do that? In my. You know, in my humble opinion, we just have to understand that this is our realm. It doesn't belong to the same time and space that our society is pressing upon us at all times, okay? This is your realm. This is the language of you. This is a place where you belong to you, okay? And in that realm, you assign the values. You have to assign your own value to what it is.
Mel Robbins
And here's the thing about creativity, and you may disagree. We get so up in our heads, and I think the reason why we do is because when I hear the word creativity, I think about the output of the thing, and then I immediately think about how other people are gonna react to it. And for me, when you told me that one of your principles is lowering the stakes, I started to think a lot about the fact that a lot of us edit ourselves and we tell ourselves we're not creative because we think what we're gonna make sucks. And that's not the way to think about this as I'm listening to you, that creativity has nothing to do with the physical object or the song or the painting or what other people are going to do in reaction to it. Creativity, and the purpose of it is for something inside of you to come alive. And so lowering the stakes for me sounds a little bit like this. It's not that deep. It's not that deep. Mill, we're literally talking about allowing yourself to play the piano or to wear funky underwear, which now I feel like I need to go out and buy crazy underwear just to, like, have a funny little secret that makes you feel.
Phil Cooke
I'm wearing over my jeans.
Mel Robbins
Over your jeans.
Phil Cooke
Out loud. Out loud.
Mel Robbins
But you know what's interesting about that is that if it's not that deep and you're lowering the stakes, you're like, can you imagine what a day would look like if you came downstairs in your house just for the fun of it? Because you heard Phil Cooke make a joke and you're like, you know what? I'm gonna Do. I'm gonna shake up my family on a Monday morning. I'm gonna come downstairs with just a really serious look on my face, and I'm gonna have a pair of printed Speedo underwear with banana print on it on top of my jeans. And I'm gonna see how long it takes for people to notice just because I had this thing. Thing where Phil made me laugh. And the fact that I laughed is sign that I'm a creative, artistic person. And now the fact that I'm even thinking about doing it, it's not that deep, but something comes alive, and you'll remember that Monday. And isn't that the point of this? And so I personally feel like lowering the stakes for me means before you start thinking about how good or bad the thing is, just think of. You can't. You can't. There is a value in your life.
Phil Cooke
But, you know, Martin Scorsese, the personal is profound.
Mel Robbins
What does that mean? That's a little deep for me.
Phil Cooke
The personal is profound. You're gonna be thinking big, but big is a product of commerce. You're talking about artifact. You're talking about consumption. You're talking about sale, and you're talking about all this stuff in this world where all these things move fast. This is a world where dreams go to die. This is the world where comparison sneaks in and steals everything from you and steals your authenticity. Right? We don't want this. We don't need any of that. You just kind of make something that really makes sense to you and is personal to you. And even understanding that, like, you may not understand what you're doing at some times, but as your senses guide you, you will begin to understand there are things that at play here. And when you get out of your own way and let the universe unfold through you, you have no control over the ending of this. You just get out of the way, and you're just gonna have to let go of it. I've seen a lot of records, a lot of artists kill. Kill their record or kill, like, their chance at releasing it, right at that last 5%, when they've put all of their energy into it. And then they feel this massive sweep of vulnerability come in where they're like, oh, my God, everyone's gonna think this is terrible. Everyone's gonna, like, it's the last minute. And that's the place where a lot of records and a lot of things die because you're getting ready to release it into the world where you have no control over what's gonna happen right Most things, you don't have to release them into the world.
Mel Robbins
Hold on, I wanna make this relatable.
Phil Cooke
Yeah.
Mel Robbins
Because if you've ever wanted to have bright yellow nail polish and you go and you start painting it and the nails are almost done and you're about to be finished and you like it, but then you think, what are people gonna think? Maybe this is too bright. That is that 5% moment that you're talking about. And we all have it. And you are a creative person at work. If you're the kind of person that sits at work and you have ideas and meetings all the time, and they get right from your chest, up your throat out to your mouth. Yeah. They hit like right at the jaw.
Phil Cooke
Stab at your teeth.
Mel Robbins
That's what you're talking about.
Phil Cooke
Yeah.
Mel Robbins
That there is a moment where the creativity is about to flow through you, that you then close the gates and you're saying, you got to lower the stakes.
Phil Cooke
That's the spot. The indicator is that how vulnerable you feel is an indicator of how personal of something that you made. What lies on the other side, if you push through, that is something you don't even understand how meaningful that's going to be in your life.
Mel Robbins
What is it like? What is it that allows you. If you walk out of the nail salon with the yellow nails?
Phil Cooke
What it is, is like it's betting on yourself and it's. It's actually realizing that your limitations are your liberation in this realm. And you're. And your limitations dictate your style and that your style is only you and only you could have made this thing. And if you find a window to actually just trust, it's a trust fall. If you find a window to actually, like, follow through and release this into the world, what you find actually is that people will meet you there, even if it's one friend. And you've never written, you've never read one of your science fiction stories, and you're sitting there and you've written like 60 of them and you're just like something is calling you. And there's one person that maybe only one person you think that you're safe enough to read it to. That's a powerful moment where you actually witness yourself. It's the completion of that that actually hones your intuition. That's actually the exhale. When you get there, that's the exhale. And once you do exhale, like, you actually get to inhale again, but this time with the different fresh oxygen, you have fresh experience and something new is going to come in. And then the breathing process happens over and over. And then you start to realize you have an intuition and an inner voice. And if you start to trust it, all the doubt comes flooding in. You're like, I just gotta push through this. I have no idea why, but I just have to allow it to go. And you just, like, close your eyes and just be like, que sera, sera, Phil.
Mel Robbins
I just love listening to you. That was so amazing. Thank you for that. I think two principals in you and I are at a perfect time for a quick break and let our wonderful sponsors get a chance to do their thing. And if you're listening to what Phil and I are talking about and you're starting to feel more in touch with your creativity or you're honing into that intuition, this can apply to everyone in your life. And I know when you're listening, you probably thought of a few people in particular. I know I did. That, you know, are way more creative than they give themselves credit for. Send them this episode. Let them hear what Phil and I are breaking down. And don't you dare go anywhere. We've got so much more to unpack, so stay with us. We'll be back after a short, short break. Oh, Gecko. I just love being able to file.
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Could you sign a. Sign what? The app? Yeah, sure. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again? Anything to help, I suppose.
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Mel Robbins
Welcome back. It's your friend Mel. And today you and I are sitting down with the wonderful and supremely creative musician Phil Cook. Phil and I have two more principles of creativity to share with you. Okay, Phil, now that we're back, let's get into the third principle. Bring yourself to the work. What does that mean to you?
Phil Cooke
My career is all about music. My bringing yourself to the work, obviously, can mean spending time at the piano every day, spending time with an instrument. It's bringing yourself to the altar where you are spending time with yourself and developing. Right? But, you know, for me, I mean, let's look at this real quick.
Mel Robbins
He's got a tray of rocks, everybody. He's got rocks and things. What is it? What is this?
Phil Cooke
It's not work to me, which I love so much. Okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm clumsy. Like, I have. I always like to say my gross motor skills are gross. You know, I'm saying, like, gross. Like, I have my life. I trip and fall in public. I like. I like. I look around, I'm like, oh, man, am I the only person that trips this much in public? I drop things when I'm carrying two things. Like, I've always been clumsy, so I have to look down when I walk.
Mel Robbins
Okay, okay.
Phil Cooke
This is my limitation. I realize this about myself. One of my limitations is I'm clumsy, so I have to look down so I don't trip on things. But when I the process of that, I started noticing rocks, you know what I mean? Because I'm looking down all the time. So. So it's funny, like, when we assign the value, like, I just, like, don't know why I pick certain rocks up, but I'm just like, okay, here we are. I'm somewhere. I'm somewhere out. Maybe I'm in Lake Superior and I find, oh, here's a rock that has a perfect stripe on it. Oh, my gosh, I love that stripe. Look at that. I don't know why I do. Gosh, that's a great stripe in there. Oh, here's another one. I have a whole three windowsills in my house right now that are filled with just rocks that have stripes. This is the one I got. This is yours, Mel. Actually, this is the one I got for you.
Mel Robbins
Is that a heart?
Phil Cooke
Sure. There it is, right there. It's all in how you see it, Mel.
Mel Robbins
That's right. You twisted it and now it's a heart.
Phil Cooke
Exactly. And I don't know the names of these things. This is just my intuition. But in my realm with, like, just picking up rocks, I just decided that I value these different things. And like, I like how they look, I like how they feel. I surround myself in my house with them and I realize over time how much that means to me to just be. Have all these rocks around me that I'm like, oh, these are all like millions of years old. Way older than anything I'm ever going to understand in my life. There's something in there, right? And after I die and I'm gone away, someone will probably throw these on the ground and they'll just be rocks.
Mel Robbins
Well, you know what? They weren't for them, you know, and this is what I want to say about this, okay? Because a lot of people, myself included, when they hear the word creativity, they think painting, they think music, they think knitting, they think building, they think pottery, they think writing, they think art, they think about the output. But what I love about these examples and especially the way you come alive when you explain how taking a walk and actually noticing what rocks you're drawn to is creativity. Because your intuition is what is pulling you toward certain rocks. You don't pick them all up.
Phil Cooke
No.
Mel Robbins
And what you feel about it is creativity coming alive inside you. And we've all had those experiences of walking on a beach or walking on a trail, and you stumble upon something, a shell, a rock, a feather. Cool thing. Look at that one.
Phil Cooke
Look at that one.
Mel Robbins
And that is the power of creativity in your life. Because it's no longer just a boring ass walk. No, you are connected to something bigger. And that bigger thing is both yourself and the larger forces at work in the world. What I love about this conversation is it's broadening out what it means to live a creative life. Like how you organize a shelf, whether or not you collect shells or certain types of statues, how you solve a problem, how you may talk to a customer, that you drop your tone of voice in order to kind of play the note to get somebody to like. All of that is what you're talking about when you say creativity. You know, you've spoken a lot about your kids. You have two sons, one with autism. How has your son's way of seeing the world Shaped how you show up creatively. I mean, do you see echoes of his perspective in your own way that you move through the world?
Phil Cooke
My kids are my greatest teachers, and I've come to know them as that. They help me to see myself in real time. Dealing the cards that I was dealt and understanding the choices that I'm making every day, you know, and the way they both see the world has really helped me to understand how I see the world too. You know, my oldest son is 14, just turned 14. He has autism. And autism is. It's like your five senses are on. Are wide open with no filter at all times. So everything is coming in at all times. And the effect of that, for me to understand over time, experientially, you know, what it must be like to be in that body is perceiving so much at all times, it's hard to know exactly how to talk about it. And I've come to understand that autism is. Autism is an evolution in my heart, in my mind, the way I feel and understand him. It's a return to. Nature is beautiful the way nature exists as it is. And we should be looking to. We should be. I should be looking to my son to really understand, like, how many ways our society has just gradually boilerplated up. The amount of noise, the amount of just, like, violence that we have to take in, the amount of just distraction, the amount of everything. And we've kind of agreed to it on all these terms where we become so numb to it. And the reminder of him to me is to like, I can't believe how much we've accepted, how much noise and volume we've accepted, how much terror, you know, we've accepted as just this is how things are. And forgetting that all of us bring not only the energy we bring, but all this internal energy that we have all day. There's a day like two weeks ago and I was having. I was having a hard moment. It was internal. I was in the bathroom, I was taking a shower. So he was in a different room. And it was. It was. I was. I was going through it. I was just really being hard on myself because I still am capable of that any day of the week. And he knocks on the door and he just comes in and he just gives me a hug. Canoe from two rooms away. You could feel it from two rooms away. The dad's having a hard time. So I imagine what it's like for him to be in a crowd, for him to be at school all day and have to absorb all these Inner conflicts that people are having with themselves and then all the rest of it. So I found when I see him going through his days is that creating an environment that fosters quiet and peace is. Is one level. Playing my piano in a very certain way at night when they go to bed gently, you know, and then, you know, just paying attention to, like, he helps me. I watch him when he meets people. I watch him when he's reading a room and he's like a guide for me of, like, what's really going on in this room energetically. What's going on? Yeah. I learned so much from him all the time. And he has such a purity to him. And I realized when I watch him how like he is with animals, especially how he is with babies. He's so pure in like, every baby that comes up to him, just like, they just light up with him for some reason. They just whatever. Any kind of kid that he has, even if they're just a really closed off or scared or timid child, he somehow has this way of just like meeting them exactly where they are and they. And they just. They just open right up to him. There's a purity in there in a return to nature is what I'm saying. So I think for me, I just, you know, I realize how important it is for him to have his very quiet sanctuary place. Funny enough, when he gets home from school, his sanctuary in his room is where he puts on Thunderstruck by ACDC every single day after school and turns it up and I hear a bunch of banging around in the room. I have no idea what's going on in there, but I assume it's awesome. It's very private, probably dancing and air guitarist, whatever it is, you know, but everyone needs that. Everyone needs that space to regroup. You know, we gotta find that sanctuary. Regroup. And everyone needs it.
Mel Robbins
Phil, that is just amazing. And I want to take a minute and just allow what Phil just shared with you to really sink in and to you listening. I know you have so many folks in mind that can really benefit from what Phil and I are talking about. Send them this episode. Let them experience the gift that is Phil Cooke. Like the Picasso quote goes, we are all born artists. Send this episode to your loved ones who may have forgotten that. And we're gonna take a quick pause so you can hear word from our sponsors. Oh, and this music that you're gonna hear going into the break, this is from Phil's newest album, Appalachia Borealis. And we have one more principle from Phil and I on the way. So stay.
Phil Cooke
I don't mean to interrupt your meal, but I saw you from across the cafe and you're the Geico Gecko, right?
Mel Robbins
In the flesh. Oh, my goodness.
Phil Cooke
This is huge. To finally meet you. I love Geico's fast and friendly claim service.
Mel Robbins
Well, that's how Geico gets 97 customer satisfaction.
Phil Cooke
Anyway, that's all. Enjoy the rest of your food.
Mel Robbins
No worries. So are you just gonna watch me eat?
Phil Cooke
Oh, sorry. Just a little starstruck. I'll be on my way.
Mel Robbins
If you're gonna stick around, just pull up a chair.
Phil Cooke
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Mel Robbins
Welcome back. It's your buddy, Mel Robbins. And today's episode is all about getting back in touch with your creative self. Now, Phil Cook has spent the past two decades working with artists like Bon Iver and producing several of his own albums. Phil is one of the most creative people I know, and that's why I brought him into our Boston studio today to share his four creative principles with you. You had sort of hinted to this earlier, it's find a sanctuary for your creativity. So tell me all about this fourth principle, Phil.
Phil Cooke
Sanctuary Is a place where the world falls away. And what that means to you is what it means to you. It's just a place that you find. The world falls away. It could be while you're cooking, you know, could be where you're just taking a walk. It could be that song that you know, and you put it on. Nothing else happening in the world. Nothing else doesn't matter. You're singing along. You're one with it. You're in your thing. You're flowing. You're in the. You're in your space. You're safe. Even if it's three minutes, even if it's your car. Sanctuary can be a rock in your pocket that just brings you back to a time where you just. Something was really important and meaningful in your life, and when you touch it, you realize, like, okay, I'm gonna get through this. Sanctuary is everywhere, all around us, all the time. You just have to find and notice what yours is, and then start to explore what it is. Start to explore. Your sanctuary can be made out of, you know, all the things that you like. All the rocks, all the. All the wood, all the jokes you have. You surround yourself by these things and understand, like, this is you belonging to you. I belong to striped rocks. I belong to Curtis Mayfield's voice, you know, I belong to northern Wisconsin in the lakes. I belong to fireside. Conversations with deep chosen family and friends. These are the things that I belong to. These are all my sanctuary. So practicing these means you're building the thing that is safe from outside intrusion.
Mel Robbins
Phil, that is so beautiful. And I want to offer up a couple examples, because I love that you said, it's all around you, and it's something that you need, and it's something that you can take with you. And so for me, as you were describing the various things, I started thinking about the walk that I take my dogs on. I started thinking about the place that I like to sit at home underneath this cover in my favorite old Adirondack chair. And I started thinking about. I don't know why I'm crying, but I did. Yeah, because it's there. I'm thinking about, like, just being out in the garden. I love to just walk around. It sounds kind of dumb, but it isn't so good. And just look. Okay, what came up today? What little weed is growing. Let me pull that out. Let me admire the flower that's starting to open. There's millions of places in front of a fire, reading a book. Like, if you really start to think about this, there are Places where this happens for you and what you're saying in terms of tapping into and unlocking the force of creativity and intuition in your life, is it paying attention to those places and spaces and times of day or the thing on the shelf or the photo of somebody that really allows you to stop and exhale? That's what you mean by sanctuary. You don't have to create anything there.
Phil Cooke
You don't need an altar. You just have to realize it's in here. It's in here where you're trying to build, you know, this is where you find yourself over and over again and where you meet yourself fully.
Mel Robbins
How do you think the person listening or watching right now could go about this? Like, what would you say if somebody's never thought about this? I mean, I kind of believe that even as you're hearing us share what we're sharing, that there's something inside you. That guitar string is starting to shake a little, like you're starting to attune to what you're saying. So I think you do know. But if you were to give somebody just a simple thing to do, what would it be in order to start to find that sanctuary, that place for you where the world drops away?
Phil Cooke
Find a way to start where you are. You might be a city person and your whole life is bustle and hustle, and that's what you understand about the rhythm of life. That's the music you're hearing. That's the landscape you're reading every day. That's where you're going to draw from. If you're in the country, if you're in the desert, if you're at the ocean, wherever that landscape is where you start, that's where you start. Your environment is there. That's the landscape you're reading. All the patterns that you're taking in with your five senses are just coming in through that landscape, you know? And so start to just pay attention to what you notice. Start to notice what you notice and worthiness. You have to always understand, look, you are somebody's daughter. You are somebody's mother, you are somebody's aunt, you are somebody's granddaughter. All these people are a circle around you. And I know that there's people in your life that just loved you for exactly who you were and saw you and got you. Doesn't have to be a lot of people, but you belong to that space and you need to see yourself from their point of view. I always tell people, like when you're listening to those mixes on the couch and you're just listening for. Am I out of tune? If this is going to happen. Oh, my gosh, what's going to happen? And you just only criticize and just be like, if your grandma was sitting on the couch next to you and she's listening, she'd just be sitting there. It's great. So great, you know? That's so great.
Mel Robbins
Oh, wow.
Phil Cooke
Cool. Yeah. You know what I mean? My grandma was really wild and zany, but, like, if she just bring her. Bring her in there, like, put her in there. That's the. That. That's the voice you are hearing with. That's the love that accepted you. That's why you're doing what you do. You need to live in that space. Space, Grandmother. Energy is the energy we all need. Always, all time. It's. There's a universal, benevolent, wonderful, abundant life force that passes through that, you know, all of us can draw from. We know what it is, even if we didn't necessarily get it right. You know what that is? It's unconditional love. It's really being seen. What do we need? We need to be seen in our life.
Mel Robbins
Well, I think first you have to see yourself. And what I love about find a sanctuary is that for all of us, there is a place where you feel like you can exhale. In fact, Baudelaire, who is the extraordinary producer that worked with you and me on this episode today, was saying that when he was in New York City, that sanctuary for him was Central Park. That's where he would go in the middle of the day in a busy workday, just to exhale. There is a place, there's a walk, there's a trail that you like, where you look down and look for rocks or you look up and look at the birds. So I think you can start there and then notice what happens when you.
Phil Cooke
Find a way to actually meet yourself there. If what you're doing produces some kind of a thing and you know exactly who that's for, and you make it for somebody and you have that in your heart, then you really, truly know how to breathe out this creativity. That's truly where it is. It doesn't even ever have to go beyond that. You can just be sharing it with one person that you make it for. And last fall, this is the newest thing. This is the newest thing right here. I grew up a Boy Scout. I had a pocket knife, and I would just like, thop, thop, thop, thop, thop, thop, thop. And I made points for 40 years. I would just Sit there and make, oh yeah, cool, thop, dup, thup, thu, thu. You know, just hacking, hacking away like a man hacking a brush, you know what I mean? And so whittling, right? But it was like so crude, such a crude thing. And I'm at a fire with my friend Daniel last fall and we're having. We're up all night and I can't see because it's a fire. I can't see my hands. And I start by going, th, th, th, th, th, th. And eventually I realize I start to talk about my girlfriend whose father has just passed away suddenly and all the worry I have for her and wish I could take this worry off her, you know. And I'm sitting and talking and I realize that by feel I'm just slowly like using the knife. I'm kind of unconsciously getting out of my own way. I don't know what's going on. I'm not sure. I'm just talking and this is happening essentially by the hour's end. I carved like basically the shape of the inside of my hand into wood, into wood. And I've. And I've shaved it with the blade, with the edge, I've shaved it smooth and I shaved a worry path for a thumb in there and I. And I worried it out. Like I worried the whole thing out. And I knew it was for her when I gave it to her because I had worried about her while I made it. And then I realized in that moment how I was a chain right there with my grandpa. Gave me a worse home when I was a kid. And I have his wood carving knife above my mantle. I've never used it, just sat there. I've always wanted to work with wood my whole life. Always want to do. I always, like, I want to make a chair, I want to make something like that that's called to me. Like that's something that called to me since I was a kid. But I was like, I'm clumsy, I play piano. There's no way I'm not cutting a finger off. There's just no way I'm going to cut my finger off. So that desire though, called to me and called to me. Yeah, I'm 45 years old and I'm sitting on this fire. And I realized in that moment that my intuition is taking care of it for me. It's doing it for me. I got out of my own way long enough for me to realize that I did something forward directly to someone else. And I can do this. And so this is what I've been doing, and I'm sharing it with the audience today because it's very private for me. It's very private. It's just something one to one. But I'm doing it because I have an opportunity to just talk about something that's very personal to me, and I don't care how good it is. I don't care. There are people that can whittle a loon right now out of something. You know what I mean? That's good. This is what my things look like, you know, but last week I was at my cabin, you know, and, you know, and when I make one for him. So this is with an M. This is the Mel.
Mel Robbins
Oh, Phil.
Phil Cooke
So this is a. Oh, my gosh.
Mel Robbins
It's so smooth. Yeah, it's like you can hold. You literally. It's like. I feel like you're holding your finger, and then you're like. It's like having somebody's hand in your hand, and then you've got this little like. Like thing that you rub your.
Phil Cooke
Never gonna sell them. I'm never gonna make them beyond. It's just like. I'm just. I just. I flap. I was a kid, I flapped a lot. When I get excited, I have a lot of energy, and it's just a way for me to, like. It just helps me worry away something and also think about somebody. And that's just my own thing. That's like something that intuition told me to do, and somehow I got, in my own way, enough to realize that it connected me to my mother and my grandfather and that I'm just following suit in this longer line. And I'm very honored to be on this podcast. And this is just something that I. I just am.
Mel Robbins
I am so honored. I feel like I have a piece of you, because I do.
Phil Cooke
Yeah. And keep it in your pocket.
Mel Robbins
I will keep it in my pocket. I love this and I love absolutely everything that you have shared today. I got so much out of this.
Phil Cooke
Me too.
Mel Robbins
I mean, what a gift you are. I would love, Phil, for you to speak directly to the person who has been with us. And if they take one action out of everything that you have shared today, what do you think the most important thing to do is?
Phil Cooke
Know that you belong to you. Know that there's nobody else in there. And if you can find a way to talk to yourself and give yourself what you need, like a. Like a. Like a friend, be that to yourself that there's so much in store, the depth, not the quantity, the quality. Of your life, your inner world and these things. We go to therapy, these are helpful. We meditate, we go for runs. But there's a different expression. Our soul longs for things that are older than we know. And we can participate in this life in a way that really tells a story. Why we're here, what we're doing here, you know, in a way for others to know, in a way for others to feel in you. Paying attention to your inner voice and coming to know what that is through creativity. And knowing that you already are, in your own way, you already are, you know, allows you to be a part of that story in a way that you will ultimately understand in some way. And in some ways you won't. And that's what's so beautiful about it. Because, you know, not the seeds you plant when you say yes to you.
Mel Robbins
You know, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. Well, first of all, I'm gonna take my worry widdle, my worry stick, okay? It's called a worry stick. I'm gonna take my Phil's worried worry stick, I'm gonna stick it in my pocket, and then I'm gonna go out to my favorite place to walk and I'm gonna look for a striped stone. And when I see a stone with a stripe in it, I'm going to pick it up and put it in my pocket next to my worry stick.
Phil Cooke
Yeah.
Mel Robbins
And I am going to put it somewhere that I'm gonna see probably my bedside table every single day. And I'm gonna have that striped rock be a reminder of you, Phil, and a reminder that I am a creative person. I will never, ever look at creativity the same way again. Like, I really get that it's like a part of who you are, that it's like something there for you to tap into that deepens your experience of life itself.
Phil Cooke
Oh, yeah, Yeah.
Mel Robbins
I just totally get it, Phil. Thank you.
Phil Cooke
Thank you for having me here. I just, I'm so, I'm so honored. This is amazing, you know, honestly, I mean, you know, we, you know, having to like, shed the weight. All the steps that were in here applied to everything last night in the hotel room. Even, you know, me just preparing to get onto this show. I had to go through all four of these steps last night to like, remind myself that it's okay that I'm doing this and that, you know, I mean, sometimes you're just a 46 year old guy who's just, you know, freshly divorced and trying to raise two kids and starting over with his Life. And you get through a strange series of circumstances. You get asked to be on a show, it's full of researchers and experts, and you're like, how do I unhook from that? How do I actually am. Is this a test to fail? How do I get there? All the things were happening in my head, you know, but, like, this is. I'm. I'm telling you, I'm serious. It's just, like, for me, like, to have these artifacts around me and just bring them with me because I trusted in them. And I wrote my thumb on that thing all night last night. And I just, like, had my grandma and that look on her face the whole night. And I realized, like, it's okay, Phil. Just. I know what she'd tell me, you know?
Mel Robbins
Just.
Phil Cooke
You do you, man. It should be okay, you know, like, there's. This is. It's okay. You know, I know so many people that I would love that deserve to be on this show, and I think are just beautiful thinkers, and they're the most inspirational people in my life, and they're all here with me today. And. Yeah. So grateful.
Mel Robbins
Phil Cook, you are an incredible human being.
Phil Cooke
Oh, so are you. Mel Robbins.
Mel Robbins
Thank you.
Phil Cooke
So are you.
Mel Robbins
Thank you for being here. Thank you for just exhaling with us today and teaching us to exhale and tap into that undeniable creative force that's inside each and every one of us. I mean, just thank you. Thank you, thank you. I love you.
Phil Cooke
Love you. Thank you.
Mel Robbins
You're welcome. And I love you. I love you for taking the time to listen to something that will help you come alive. And thank you for sharing this with everybody in your life that you care about. Everybody needs a little Phil Cook in their life, and it's my honor to have introduced you to him. Thank you for being here. In case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you, as your friend, that I love you and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And I promise you, tapping into this creative force within you. Learning how to exhale. Holy cow. Is that gonna make your life better? Alrighty. I will see you in the next episode. I'll be waiting for you the moment you hit play to welcome you in. I'll see you there. Because I always. I have to have diarrhea of the mouth.
Phil Cooke
Totally. Oh, yeah.
Mel Robbins
And so the. The dyslexic etiquette on Mel is. Take the last thing she said and.
Phil Cooke
Stick it in front. Thank you. I think we'll be very similar. This whole realm, you need anything else?
Mel Robbins
Any. You got your water?
Phil Cooke
Got my water. I brought all my accoutrement.
Mel Robbins
When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archaeological dig. I was talking to one of the archaeological. Oh, my. See, I can't say the word whatever I was talking to. You know, Mark Twain once said, it takes a simple mind to spell a word one way. Mel Robbins says, it takes a simple mind to say a word just one way. See, I'm being creative. I'm just letting it flow. I'm lowering the stakes.
Phil Cooke
Let's be real here.
Mel Robbins
Shedding expectations.
Phil Cooke
That was real.
Mel Robbins
Well, first of all, I'm gonna take my worry widdle wood. My worry stick. Okay? It's called a worry stick. I'm gonna take my Phil's worried worry stick, I'm gonna stick it in my pocket, and then I'm gonna go out to my favorite place. This is so good.
Phil Cooke
Sounds juicy.
Mel Robbins
Oh, my God, Phil, I love you so much. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.
Phil Cooke
SiriusXM podcasts a real Etsy buyer review for handmade home decor by a real Etsy seller. I could not be happier about the quality of or the wonderful personal message supplied with it, describing its journey into existence. Discover original items created by real people and loved by real people just like you. Special starts on Etsy Shop the Etsy app.
Geico Gecko
Our state has changed a lot in the last 140 years. We know because Multicare has been here guided by a single purpose. Making our communities healthier. That comes from making courageous decisions, partnering with local communities to grow programs and services, and expanding healthcare access to those who need it most. Together, we're building a healthier future. Learn more@mycare.org.
Episode: 4 Steps to Unlock Your Creativity & Feel More Inspired Every Day
Date: August 28, 2025
Host: Mel Robbins
Guest: Phil Cooke
This episode explores how everyone can unlock and nurture their creativity, regardless of profession or perceived artistic ability. Mel Robbins teams up with musician and songwriter Phil Cooke to break down four actionable steps or principles to help listeners reconnect with their creative spirit. Through practical advice, relatable stories, and soul-stirring wisdom, Mel and Phil make a compelling case that creativity is not just for artists—it's a birthright, a way of moving through the world, and an essential fuel for a meaningful, inspired life.
Opening Reflection (00:00-01:45): Mel challenges the misconception that creativity is reserved for artists or musicians.
"Creativity is not about what you're making. It's how you move through the world. It's not just your art. It's in your instincts, your intuition." – Mel Robbins (00:30)
Inviting All Listeners In: Mel welcomes everyone, reiterating that creativity lives within all of us, whether you’re a nurse, teacher, parent, or feeling stuck.
"Creativity allows us to exhale what works hand in hand with intuition. Intuition is tied to our soul." – Phil Cooke (07:53)
"We need to break those narratives… you have information coming into you from your senses, preferences, things that call to you that you actually do love." – Phil Cooke (10:24)
Definition (12:47-15:37): Let go of the belief that creativity must meet certain standards or win others’ approval—notice and name what makes you come alive.
Examples: Finding joy in making a pizza unique for your kids, choosing fun socks, or tying a fishing line in your own way.
"You are already living and breathing this life in, and you are already noticing certain patterns… let them come in, start to name them." – Phil Cooke (15:37)
Relatable Moment: Mel jokes about “funny underwear” as a hidden, personal creative expression—demonstrating creativity is for oneself (17:37).
Definition (23:12-25:59): Creativity’s main value is personal fulfillment, not performance. Don't let the fear of others’ opinions or the need for perfection block you.
Mel's Insight:
"We get so up in our heads, … we tell ourselves we're not creative because we think what we're gonna make sucks… Creativity, and the purpose of it, is for something inside of you to come alive." – Mel Robbins (24:31)
Artist Wisdom (Martin Scorsese):
"The personal is profound." – Phil Cooke (27:07)
Practical Application: Wear those bright yellow nails or belt buckle, read your story to just one friend, or share your idea in a meeting even if it feels vulnerable.
Definition (34:16-37:30): Lean into your quirks, limitations, and personal history. Creativity often springs from your unique perspective and the patterns you notice.
Phil's Personal Example: A lifelong klutz, he looks down when he walks and began collecting striped rocks—turning this into a mini sanctuary and creative ritual.
"I have three windowsills in my house filled with rocks that have stripes. ...I don't know why I pick them up, but I do." – Phil Cooke (35:04)
Broadening the Definition:
"It's broadening out what it means to live a creative life… how you solve a problem, how you may talk to a customer… all of that is creativity." – Mel Robbins (37:12)
Creativity and Parenting: Phil’s autistic son inspires him to appreciate unfiltered perception and the need for sanctuary.
"My kids are my greatest teachers… [my eldest] is a guide for me… what's really going on in this room energetically." – Phil Cooke (38:33)
Definition (46:22-49:26): Sanctuary is anywhere you feel safe and alive—could be a walk, cooking, music, or something you carry. It's a space for genuine self-encounter and creative exhalation.
"Sanctuary Is a place where the world falls away…You just have to find and notice what yours is, and then start to explore." – Phil Cooke (46:22)
Living Examples: Mel describes her favorite chair, gardening, or a simple daily walk as creative sanctuaries.
How-To:
"Find a way to start where you are. Your environment is there. Start to just pay attention to what you notice." – Phil Cooke (50:15)
On Internalizing Creativity:
"You can speak the language of you. You just have to pay attention to what it is that you notice about life coming in." – Phil Cooke (10:34)
On Vulnerability and Creativity:
"That 5% moment—that’s where a lot of records and a lot of things die because you’re getting ready to release it into the world." – Phil Cooke (28:37) "There is a moment where the creativity is about to flow through you, that you then close the gates... you got to lower the stakes." – Mel Robbins (29:21)
On Parenting and Creativity:
"Let your children witness you reconnecting to something that you lost when you were young. ...it doesn't end when something ends. You always have a choice." – Phil Cooke (22:27-23:04)
On Grandmother’s Unconditional Love as Inner Creative Sanctuary:
"My grandma just… if she was sitting on the couch next to you, she'd just be sitting there, it's great. That's the voice you are hearing with… Universal, benevolent, abundant life force." – Phil Cooke (51:39)
Phil’s Final Wisdom (57:37):
"Know that you belong to you. Know that there's nobody else in there. And if you can find a way to talk to yourself and give yourself what you need, like a friend, be that to yourself..."
Mel’s Commitment (59:13): Will keep her worry stick and striped stone as daily talismans—a ritualistic practice to remember and honor her creativity.
Mel’s Final Words:
"I love you for taking the time to listen to something that will help you come alive… I believe in your ability to create a better life. And I promise you, tapping into this creative force within you… Holy cow, is that gonna make your life better." (61:41)
Main Theme:
Creativity is an intrinsic human trait, accessible to everyone, and essential for a fuller, more connected, and inspired life.
The Four Core Principles:
Takeaway:
Creativity is not about creating things for approval or productivity; it is about reconnecting with your intuition, paying attention to what enlivens you, and building habits that anchor you in your true self.
Whether you feel like a “creative” person or not, this episode reassures you: creativity is your human inheritance. Through warm stories, personal vulnerability, and insightful frameworks, Mel and Phil show that you can reclaim that spark at any moment—sometimes just by choosing fun socks, collecting rocks, painting your nails, or allowing yourself three mindful minutes in your own kind of sanctuary.
Share this episode with anyone who needs a reminder: you are already creative, your soul wants to exhale, and it’s never too late to tap back in.