Start Strong: Do This Every Morning to Get Out of Bed, Beat Anxiety, and Feel Incredible All Day

Summary

Summary of "Start Strong: Do This Every Morning to Get Out of Bed, Beat Anxiety, and Feel Incredible All Day" - The Mel Robbins Podcast

In the October 21, 2024 episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, titled "Start Strong: Do This Every Morning to Get Out of Bed, Beat Anxiety, and Feel Incredible All Day," host Mel Robbins shares her personal struggles with morning anxiety and introduces a transformative somatic technique called "slithering," developed with the help of her therapist, Dr. Ann Davin. This detailed summary captures the episode’s key discussions, insights, and practical advice for overcoming morning dread.

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1. Introduction to Morning Struggles

Mel Robbins begins the episode by relating to listeners who find it difficult to get out of bed each morning. She candidly shares her own experience:

"Every morning when I wake up, I just felt this huge sense of dread..." ([00:07]).

Mel describes the pervasive heaviness and negative thoughts that make mornings challenging, emphasizing that this struggle is a common experience among many.

2. The Origin of Morning Dread

Mel delves into the root causes of her morning anxiety, revealing that these feelings trace back to childhood trauma. She recounts a distressing incident from fourth grade:

"I remember waking up in the middle of the night... I need to keep really quiet so that this person doesn't do that to him." ([11:38]).

This early trauma left a lasting impression, making the transition from sleep to wakefulness a source of intense anxiety and dread.

3. Introducing "Slithering" with Dr. Ann Davin

Mel introduces her therapist, Dr. Ann Davin, who taught her the "slithering" technique—a somatic practice designed to help individuals move through and release stored bodily tension and trauma.

"Ann said, we are going to move with the heaviness... you're going to slither out of bed." ([24:15]).

4. Understanding Somatic Practices

Dr. Ann Davin provides an in-depth explanation of slithering as a form of somatic inquiry:

"Slithering isn't a formal technique that is taught... it's an example of somatic inquiry." ([25:56]).

She emphasizes that somatic practices focus on allowing the body to express and release stored emotions through movement, bypassing the need for verbal processing.

5. Step-by-Step Guide to Slithering

Mel Robbins offers a practical, step-by-step guide on how to implement the slithering technique:

1. Acknowledge the Sensation: Identify where the negative feeling resides in your body (e.g., chest, back).

2. Begin Slithering: Instead of resisting the heaviness, slowly slide one foot out of bed, followed by the other, allowing yourself to move with the sensation rather than against it ([35:47]).

3. Engage in Movement: Once on the floor, start moving your body—twisting, bending knees, and writhing to break apart the heaviness.

4. Transition to Crawling: Move onto all fours and crawl towards a designated spot, such as the bathroom, symbolizing the journey away from negative sensations ([35:47]).

"Instead of pushing through it, embrace it. Let the heaviness consume you and allow it to have you roll out of bed." ([35:47]).

6. Personal Transformation Through Slithering

Mel shares her personal journey of adopting the slithering technique, highlighting significant changes:

"Slithering not only got me out of bed on those mornings, it did something way more miraculous." ([41:40]).

By consistently practicing slithering for six weeks, Mel experienced a profound reduction in morning dread, replaced by feelings of freedom and empowerment. She notes how small movements led to significant emotional shifts:

"The frozen kind of dread starts to break apart based on your own movement." ([35:47]).

7. Expert Insights and Psychological Underpinnings

Dr. Ann Davin elaborates on the psychological basis of slithering, explaining how it helps transform trauma residue:

"Slithering is the tool you use to transform the trauma residue... Your nervous system shifted from a state of distress to neutral and then to calm." ([44:17]).

She discusses how engaging in physical movement allows the body to process and release stored emotions, fostering a sense of well-being and safety.

8. Practical Applications and Adaptations

Mel provides practical advice for listeners on how to adapt the slithering technique to various situations:

• Different Bed Heights: For high or low beds, start by sliding a leg out first and gradually inching your body towards the floor.

• Physical Limitations: Individuals with disabilities are encouraged to consult with physical therapists to adapt the technique appropriately.

• Teaching to Children: Slithering can be a valuable tool for helping children manage anxiety and morning reluctance without correction or pushing.

"It's a fantastic technique to teach to a child who has anxiety... you are helping them move with the feeling." ([45:10]).

9. Encouragement and Final Thoughts

In her concluding remarks, Mel passionately encourages listeners to try the slithering technique, emphasizing its potential to transform their mornings and overall well-being:

"You deserve that. And I cannot wait to hear what you experience when you try this." ([53:07]).

She reiterates the importance of moving through negative sensations to reclaim personal empowerment and improve mental health.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Mel Robbins: "Sometimes it's better to feel our way through rather than try to figure our way out." ([26:22])

• Dr. Ann Davin: "Slithering is the tool you use to transform the trauma residue." ([44:17])

• Mel Robbins: "I feel free. I can do it." ([41:40])

• Dr. Ann Davin: "Allow the feeling to move you." ([52:08])

Conclusion

This episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast offers a deeply personal and practical approach to overcoming morning anxiety through the somatic technique of slithering. By combining Mel’s vulnerable storytelling with Dr. Ann Davin’s expert insights, listeners are provided with a tangible method to break free from the cycle of morning dread and cultivate a sense of empowerment and well-being.

Listeners are encouraged to implement the slithering technique in their daily routines and share their experiences, fostering a community of support and transformation.

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Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisements and non-content sections of the podcast to focus solely on the valuable insights and techniques discussed by Mel Robbins and Dr. Ann Davin.

Transcript

[Mel Robbins]

Hey, it's your friend Mel.

[Ann Davin]

And welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

[Mel Robbins]

Remember those mornings where you just don't want to get up? Me too. You know, in fact, for most of my life, every morning when I woke up, I just felt this huge sense of dread. I mean, I don't know why it was so hard to get out of bed. So I talked to my therapist about it and she gave me this life changing technique and it's unbelievable how it works, especially on those mornings where you just don't feel like getting out of bed. It's called slithering. And today I'm going to teach it to you.

[Ann Davin]

The Mel Robbins Podcast is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance, our exclusive insurance partner. As Amica says, empathy is our best policy. That's why they'll go above and beyond to tailor your insurance coverage to best fit your needs. Whether you're on the road at home or traveling along life's journey, their friendly and knowledgeable representatives will work with you to ensure you have the right coverage in place. Amica will provide you with peace of mind. Go to amica.com and get a quote. Today, there is a universal experience that.

[Mel Robbins]

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[Ann Davin]

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[Mel Robbins]

Hey, it's your friend Mel. And welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so thrilled that you tuned in today because we are doing something super cool and extra special. Never done this before. I am laying in my bed right now. I have my eye mask on. I've got my retainer in. You might be able to kind of hear a little bit of a. Because of the retainer, my cat Noodle is laying with me. And today I am teaching you a technique that changed my entire life. If you have ever struggled with getting out of bed, if you wake up and you immediately feel dread or you feel like something's wrong, or your thoughts are just overwhelming you, what I'm going To teach you today and share with you will change your life immediately. And what are we going to talk about? We're going to talk about this technique that my therapist, the extraordinary Ann Davin, taught me during a period where I was going through a really, really hard time. And in fact, things were so difficult that I was having trouble getting out of bed. And that may surprise you if you're a new listener. By the way, if you're a new listener, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast family. I think it's super cool that you're choosing to listen to something that can help you change your life. And learning how to get out of bed on those days where life feels hard or you're overwhelmed or like me, you have this pounding sense of dread in your body. It kind of weighs you down like a gravity blanket, and you just want to stay in bed. It's kind of interesting, isn't it, how hard it can be to get out of bed some mornings? I've certainly been there, and what I didn't know is that all of that dread that I was feeling every morning, all of the overwhelm, it actually traced all the way back to an experience that I had had in childhood. And we're going to talk about that in a minute. But I got to share something with you. I have never been the kind of person that likes to get out of bed. I mean, let's just be honest with each other. For anybody that can spring out of bed when the alarm rings, you're a weirdo. For the rest of us normal people who actually wake up and we're sort of like, ugh, can I just lay here? Why is it so hard to get out of bed? How about hitting that snooze button again and drifting back to sleep in my cozy sheets? Like, that's the kind of person that I've always been. And so if that's you, if it's somebody that you love, what you're going to learn today is going to blow your mind. You're not only going to learn this technique called slithering, you're going to hear it explained by my therapist, Annavin. She is also going to walk you through why this works as what's called a somatic practice. She's going to teach you about the deep origins of the stored tension in your body and why you continue to wake up in the morning and feel this sense of dread or like something's wrong or your thoughts are spinning. This isn't based on just what's happening in your life right now. This is likely something that you've experienced for a long time in your life. And here's the good news. Using this technique, you can move it out of your body. And yeah, you may have a lot going on, but you can learn how to wake up and not feel that sense of dread. You can learn how to change it so that you wake up in the morning, no matter what's going on, you actually wake up and you feel freedom in your body. It is the coolest thing in the world. I'm going to teach it to you today. I'm so excited that you're here. In fact, I'm going to sit up, get the pillow in place. I think nudes, get the eye mask off and settle in. Oh, and you know what I don't have is I don't have my glasses. Okay. So I don't know about you and mornings, but it has always been the hardest thing in the world for me to start my day. And I'm going to describe what it feels like for me on just any given day. But as I'm describing what it feels like for me from the moment that I wake up, I want you to think about, what does it feel like for you? Most mornings when you open your eyes, I want you to think about the sensation in your body. And I gotta pull some cat hair out of my mouth first because I've been petting my cat. Okay. Whenever I would wake up, no matter where I was, the first thing I felt was a sensation of heaviness. It's almost like there's always been something standing on my chest. And it goes from that sensation of heaviness like the bed is a giant magnet and I'm just a little paper clip that's now stuck to it. The amount of effort that it takes for me to push through that heaviness in my body and that sense of dread, it is like Herculean. Forget about doing resistance training. Like, this is. This is pushing through something at a whole different level. And once I feel that sensation of dread, you know, of course what happens is then, bing. It triggers my mind to start spinning and I start to scan ahead. And, you know, even though I'm a very positive person, one of the things that I've been learning about life is that our brains tend to default on the negative. So what is it that I immediately start thinking about, oh, the thing I did wrong yesterday, the things I have to do today that I'm not going to get to, or that I'm nervous about the meeting at work that I'm not prepared for the fact that the kids have all this stuff going on. The fact that I haven't exercised in four days and now I'm kind of beating myself up or that maybe I stayed up a little bit too late and watched yet one more episode of that series instead of going to bed. And so the very first thing I feel is happiness. The very first thoughts aren't like, oh, let's get out of bed. I'm so grateful I have another day. It's more like, ugh. Just like, ugh. That's what I'm working with. And it doesn't matter if I'm on vacation, it doesn't matter if I'm in my house, it doesn't matter if I'm traveling for work. It doesn't matter where I am. That is what I feel. And what I've come to learn is that's the way most of us feel that there's something about going from a state of peace and rest to waking up and having to face the day. And if you're somebody who doesn't sleep well at night, holy smokes, let's just add on top that kind of disappointment that yet again, you didn't get another good night's sleep. So you're not waking up rested, you're waking up feeling behind. And so that's the background here. And if you're somebody who just springs out of bed, like, God bless you, but the rest of us kind of hate you right now because that's not the normal feeling for a lot of us. But I'm here to tell you, by the time you're done listening, you are going to not only understand why you feel that dread and why your thoughts can be really negative and why it can be hard to push yourself out of bed and start the day even better than understanding it, you're going to know exactly what to do on those mornings when you feel it. And I will tell you based on personal experience using this technique called slithering has changed my flippin life because it has changed what my body feels first thing in the morning. And it has given me this simple, seemingly ridiculous thing to do to help me on those mornings where it truly is hard to get out of bed. So I want to go back in time like three or four years and explain what was happening when I was talking to my therapist, the extraordinary Ann Davin, about all of the challenges I was facing. And I'm not going to belabor it because then it's going to get too damn depressing. But we were in the middle of massive life change. Like so many of you, our family had moved. And we moved from Boston, where we had lived for 26 years, up to this tiny little town in southern Vermont. And at the time, we were living with my mother in law. Now, I love my mother in law, but you know, when you are sleeping at your mother in law's house, you're not in your own bed. You are in somebody else's house. And I was sleeping in the bunk room of my mother in law's house in southern Vermont. And we're in the middle of this big move. I have no friends, I have lost my dream job, which at the time was being a daytime talk show host. And I just didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I felt like I had made a huge mistake by moving to this tiny town and uprooting our whole life. And on top of all of that, I'm waking up in the middle of the desolate winter months in a bunk room in my mother in law's house. And let me tell you, I would wake up every morning and it wasn't just the elephant on my chest. It was like, I don't even want to face the nightmare my life has become. I don't want to get out of bed. If I just roll over. Have you ever had a morning where you're like, okay, if I just hit the snooze button and then I drift back to sleep, maybe I will wake up in a totally different life. Maybe this is like just some sort of figment of my imagination, this life of mine. This used to happen to me in law school all the time. I would have this fantasy that as I would drift back to sleep, I would wake up and suddenly I wouldn't be in law school anymore. I'd be 10 years ahead. I would be happy. I would have known what I was doing with my life. I'd have it figured out. And then, of course, I'd drift back to sleep, the alarm would ring, I'd wake back up, I'd be like, oh.

[Ann Davin]

My God, this again.

[Mel Robbins]

And now I'm late for class. Like, I just. Anyway, I could talk for hours about how hard it has been for me to get out of bed and how awful it is to wake up. And the first thought that you have is that you've done something wrong or that someone's mad at you, or that the day is just so overwhelming, you don't know how you're going to get through it. That's not that empowering. That doesn't feel good. And so, you know, I'm going through this really challenging period where I'm like, I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. I'm so stuck. I don't feel like we made the right decision. I don't think I'm gonna make it. And I'm sobbing to Anne on the phone and I'm talking about how I just am having such a hard time getting out of bed. And Ann says, mel, I want you to try something called slithering. So Anna and I spend one of our sessions talking all about the sensation. And that's why I asked you to think about what do you feel in your body first thing in the morning? Is it heaviness? Is it dread? Is it excitement? Is it like an on edge feeling because you don't quite know what you're going to wake up to? And so as we started to unpack the sensation and the experience of waking up, she started asking me these questions. When do you remember this first starting? And I'm like, I have no idea. She's like, what about when you were in law school? Was it there? I'm like, mm, most definitely in law school. What about college? Yep, absolutely. What about high school? Yeah, yeah, As a matter of fact, I had a really hard time getting out of bed in high school. I always felt the sensation like something was wrong. And we went all the way back in our conversation to this moment that I remembered where I'm going to not go deep into the story because I don't want things to get too heavy. I mean, it's already heavy to get out of bed. But we went all the way back to this experience that I had where I was in fourth grade and my family was away at this ski trip with a bunch of other families and all the kids were sleeping in this big bunk room. And I remember waking up in the middle of the night. Here I am, a fourth grader, and there is an older kid on top of me and they are doing something to me. And it was a really, I don't know what the right word is, weird and upsetting and confusing situation. Because it's like, on one hand I was really scared because it was pitch dark and I didn't know what was happening. But on the other hand, and this may sound a little weird, like it felt like, okay, like, kind of good. I was so confused. I was not, as a fourth grader, able to process what was going on. Like, my first ever sexual experience in that setting, being woken up And I remember just rolling over on my side, like, into this ball shape. And this older kid, you know, climbed out, went back, and I looked over, and in the bottom bunk next to me was my little brother. And I remember thinking, I need to keep really quiet so that this person doesn't do that to him. Like, I knew something was wrong. But as I reflect back on it, it's not that the first experience was terror or fear. It was more confusion and this deep sense that this was really bad. But again, like, my fourth grade little brain, I didn't know, like, what was happening. I didn't know how to process this in a healthy way. And so that next morning, when I woke up, what do you think I felt in my body? Heaviness? Dread? I felt like I had done something wrong. And I laid in that bed and pulled the covers over me and just hid there until all the kids had left, because I just sensed that I had done something wrong. And one of the things that I've learned, talking to the extraordinary experts that we've had on this podcast that you and I are together learning from, is that when you're really little, there's this flaw. I'm going to call it a flaw. There's a flaw in human design called attribution. I learned this from the amazing psychiatrist at Stanford, Dr. Paul Conti, that when you're little and bad things happen, or the adults around you are super mad or frustrated, or they're not around at all, a little kid does not have the ability to attribute other people's bad behavior to other people. There's a flaw in the human design that makes little kids attribute other people's bad behavior to a flaw in you. And so I actually thought this was my fault. I thought something was wrong. And I thought if I tell anybody, I am going to get in a lot of trouble. Even though I didn't do anything, I was clearly a victim. And I'll just state for the record also my personal opinion about that other kid is if that other kid is doing something like that to a kid, then clearly somebody is doing that to him. And so I know that now. But in that moment in my body, my body absorbed that experience. And I'm going to tell you something, what I've learned over and over from all these experts that you and I talk to on this podcast and from my own deep experience in therapy and all kinds of different modalities and diving deep into trauma, that there are things that happen to you when you were little or in your lifetime, and what I am learning over and over is that it's actually stored as a sensation in your body. And if it is your default to wake up and have negative thoughts, or it's your default to wake up and feel that heaviness the way that I do, it might not be something as, like, scary as what happened to me, but it could just be that you had a parent or a caregiver that you never knew which version of them you were going to get in the morning. Like, is mom or dad going to be in a good mood? They're going to be in a bad mood. We can have food today. Are we not going to have food today? Am I going to have a good day at school or am I going to get bullied like I normally do? Am I going to be able to do what I need to do in this classroom, or am I going to sit there because I have a learning disability that nobody's figured out? And so I feel like the dummy in the classroom and I'm constantly in trouble. And all of these experiences create sensations in your body where you're bracing or you are freezing or you're in fight or flight. And so I didn't know any of this. I just felt like there was something wrong with me because I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. Why is it, if I have an okay life, I'm not happy when I get out of bed? I understand cortisol drops and all this other stuff, but why does it have to feel so heavy? And so I'm having this conversation with my amazing therapist, and I'm crying like crazy, and we trace it all the way back, and now it makes perfect sense. Of course, if I have that kind of experience that the act of waking up gets married with the experience. And that sensation got stuck in my body. That's all that was happening. And that's why I'm so excited for you to learn about this, because using this technique, I have been able to really move this heaviness out of my body. I've been able to get the elephant off my chest. And I have also been able to nurture and support myself in those mornings where the thoughts start spinning and it's super negative. And I guarantee you, if you try this, this will help you and it's going to help people that you love. And so I really want you to share this with everybody that you care about, because you have no idea how somebody else feels when they wake up. I'm sure there are lots of people that are coming to mind that you know would benefit from hearing this. So let's take a quick pause. I've got so much more to share.

[Ann Davin]

With you, to teach you, for you to learn.

[Mel Robbins]

We're going to hear a short word from our sponsors. Share this episode with someone that you love who would benefit from it. And don't go anywhere because I'm going to be waiting for you. We're going to keep on slithering our way through this episode after a short break. Stay with me.

[Ann Davin]

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[Mel Robbins]

And if you really think about it, it's probably true for you too.

[Ann Davin]

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[Mel Robbins]

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[Ann Davin]

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[Mel Robbins]

Welcome back. It's your friend, Mel Robbins. Today you and I are talking about this life changing somatic technique that my therapist Ann Davin taught me to help me get out of bed on those mornings where the dread or the overwhelm or just the was just too much. So I'm talking to Anne and she says, Mel, we establish that this is something that's a pattern. It's a storage sensation from trauma that is in my body, that this is super normal, it's super common, and there is something you can do. And so she asked me, just like I asked you, to think about where in my body is this thing stored and what does it feel like. And as I've described to you, it always is this sensation in my chest and it's this heaviness, this sort of like dark cloud thing, like tar that is like right in there, stuck in my chest. And I want you to think about where is it in your body? It might be in your ankles, might be on your back, it might be up in your head. Like it could be anywhere in your body that you feel this sensation. And then Ann said to me, I am going to teach you, Mel, how to move this thing out of your body. And she said, I don't want you to push yourself out of bed. That's what I was trying to do. I was trying to force myself through the heaviness. She said, we're going to do the opposite. We're going to move with the heaviness. Like, what do you mean? Am I just going to like melt into the bed? Because that's what it feels like. I'm supposed to just like disintegrate into the sheets. It's so heavy. She's like, oh, no, no, no, no. You are going to slither out of bed. You're going to move with the heaviness, Mel, and you are going to slither and slide one foot out of that bed and then you're going to slither and slide the other foot and then.

[Ann Davin]

You'Re going to roll off the bed.

[Mel Robbins]

And then I'm like, well, what am I going to do once I roll? Oh, you're going to be on the ground and you're going to move around with this heaviness. And I'm like, that sounds odd. And Ann has this amazing way of being so compelling that I tried it, and I'm going to walk you through it. It is unbelievable how this thing works. So what I wanted to do to make sure that you really understood this is I reached out to Ann and I said, hey, Ann, would you be willing to just send me a voice memo to really help me explain this technique and how you came up with this and why this works? And so I'm absolutely honored to be able to introduce you to my therapist, Ann Davin, and to have you get to experience her wisdom as she is going to explain to you exactly what slithering is. Ann is extraordinary. She has been a psychologist for over 30 years. She has a PhD in depth psychology, a master's in clinical psychology. All of her work focuses on the unconscious mind and how it impacts the human experience. And I have had the honor of working with Anne for over four years now, and she's changed me from the inside out. And I also just want to take a moment and thank you, Anne, because what you're going to share today is truly going to help people's lives. I just know it. So thank you. And so here's a clip that she recorded for you to explain what slithering is.

[Ann Davin]

Slithering isn't a formal technique that is taught. You won't find it in someone's lecture or course book. It's an example of somatic inquiry. The beauty of somatic inquiry is that it bypasses trying to make sense of what we are feeling. Rather, we let the body speak its mind through movement. Sometimes it's better to feel our way through rather than try to figure our way out.

[Mel Robbins]

I want to make sure you heard that last line that Ann said, that sometimes it is better for you to feel your way through a sensation rather than trying to figure your way out of it. And let me tell you something. I've spent my entire lifetime trying to figure out how to deal with the heaviness and the negativity and the overwhelm that I feel when I wake up talking about it hasn't worked. Pushing through it has gotten me out of bed. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. But it doesn't remove that feeling every morning. So I would wake up with that feeling in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And push my way out of it. But the next morning, it's there again. What Ann was teaching me and what she's offering in this type of, as she called it, somatic inquiry. It's a big word, but we're gonna. We're gonna unpack that for you, is that when these sensations and experiences are stored in your body, no amount of talking is going to get them out of your body. You need to use the magic and the intelligence of your body to move it out of your body so it doesn't live there anymore. And so let's continue learning from Ann as she explains why this technique works and why we were using this right now.

[Ann Davin]

Our work at the time was focused on healing and early childhood trauma associated with waking up in the morning as that victimized child. You had to wake up and get out of bed and confront the reality of what had just happened to you the night before without the inner or outer resources to do so. The dread that you felt upon waking as an adult was a somatic residue of this unresolved trauma.

[Mel Robbins]

Is she not brilliant? And I want to be sure that you're tracking, because it took me a little while to truly get this, that it's important to talk about your feelings, it's important to talk about what happened, but there's a deeper way to heal the experiences in your life that got stored in your body, Whether it's experiences of racism or bias, or it's trauma, or it's just chaos in your family or uncertainty. Ironically, for me, another experience that we ended up linking to this one is that there was a friend of mine that was killed in a drunk driving accident when I was in high school. And I was sound asleep when the accident happened. And my mom came into the bedroom and I woke up in her arms to her crying. And she was explaining that this family friend that the son had died. And that was another experience of being asleep and then waking up to really scary news. And so these experiences, you don't just shrug them off, they stay with you. And the opportunity here in learning how to move the sensation out of your body is a way that you can heal this. And it goes way beyond just waking up and feeling better and waking up and not having the dread.

[Ann Davin]

My impulse to suggest this to you, Mel to slither, came from the dynamic interplay of my intuitive witnessing of your unconscious as it expressed itself in the feeling of dread. Each morning when you woke up, the dread for you caused you to freeze, to be immobilized, unable to move into your day with a sense of safety and well being.

[Mel Robbins]

It took me a while to truly grasp what Ann was teaching me. And so I want to try to simplify this and bottom line it for you. You have all of these experiences that have happened in your life that are now stored in your subconscious mind and in the sensations in your body. You don't ever really get rid of it until you truly process it. And Ann was linking up that all of these experiences were just locked in my body with nowhere to go. And so the dread that I was feeling, the overwhelm, the negative thoughts, the sense that something was wrong, these are things that were happening on the surface that told Ann that there was something much deeper going on. There was a stuck sensation or experience that needed to be moved out of my body. And her strategy was instead of trying to push through it and soldier forward and just get, keep moving on. Mel, it's time to move toward it, to join with it, and to truly push it out of your body. And that's exactly what you're going to learn how to do today. And so I want to explain in detail the process of slithering right now, and I'm going to break the whole thing down. And then we're going to bring Ann back and Ann is going to explain why this works. And then a little later, she's also going to walk you through an exercise with a couple questions so you can start to try out this process yourself now. Giant disclaimer. I'm not a therapist. I am just a person that has had a lot of screwed up things happen and I'm doing my best to heal them and I'm sharing what worked for me. And Ann is not your therapist. This is a resource and a suggestion that is there for you to try. And for me, this was life changing. And I'm pretty sure if you lean into what she's saying and offering to you, it'll be pretty life changing for you and the people that you love too. All right, so we're ready to slither. But first, I want to give our.

[Ann Davin]

Sponsors a chance to share a few words.

[Mel Robbins]

They're absolutely amazing.

[Ann Davin]

I want to give you a chance.

[Mel Robbins]

To share this episode with somebody that you love who would benefit from it, which is basically everybody on the planet. And when we come back, it's slither time. And I'm going to walk you through it step by step. Stay with me.

[Ann Davin]

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[Mel Robbins]

You need better sleep.

[Ann Davin]

And you can't do that on an unsupportive, uncomfy mattress that you've kept around for 20 years? I mean, think about it. You eat right, you exercise, you're making big moves in your life and then you go and you flop down on a crappy, lumpy, gross mattress. I mean, come on now. As you push through the craziness of the holiday season, feeling well rested is extra important. Sleeping on the right mattress, you deserve that. Mattress Firm knows the importance of undisrupted quality sleep and can match you with the right mattress for your best rest. They're not messing around. They've got the top mattresses in the game. And the coolest part, if you see the mattress at a lower price, Mattress Firm will match it. Plus, they got free and fast delivery, so you'll be snoozing like a pro in no time. A good night's sleep is the fuel you need to tackle every day with energy and confidence. This is a gift you need to give to yourself. Get matched at Mattress Firm's Black Friday sale and sleep at night. Text MEL to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Exclusions apply. All right, let's talk about the special bond you have with your pet. You come home after a long day and maybe you vent to your dog or your cat. I know my cat, Mr. Noodle. He has heard it all from me. Don't you sometimes wish you could understand them? I mean, that's the tough part of loving a pet. Wondering what they're trying to say and wondering if you're giving them the care they need. Well, no more guesswork. Petivity is here to bridge the communication gap. Petivity health kits and smart products give your pet a voice and empower you to provide the best care possible. Imagine a litter box that tracks your cat's habits and detects changes. Or an easy to use kit that does a deep dive into your dog's gut health. Or regular reports all about your little fur baby delivered straight to your inbox. Petivity handles it all. They use data and the latest and greatest technology to learn your pet's behaviors and alert you to potential problems that you can act on. You don't have to sit around and worry about your pet's health or worse, wait for something to go wrong before getting them help. Petivity can be their voice, and not being a mind reader can give you peace of mind and time to focus on other stuff, like just snuggling with the Mr. Noodle in your life. Visit P E T I v I t y.com to learn more.

[Mel Robbins]

Hey, it's your buddy, Mel Robbins. I am so thrilled that you're here with me today. I'm introducing you to this life changing somatic technique that my amazing therapist, Ann Davin taught me. And now it's time for you to step by step, slither out of bed with me. You ready? Good. So am I. So I'm going to walk you through slithering and as you're listening to this, you're going to hear all kinds of sounds. And the most important thing for you to remember is instead of pushing through the sensation and whatever it is for you, whether it's on edge or heaviness or dread or overwhelm, you're just going to join with it and move with it. So for me, the sensation is dread. So it's this heaviness. And that's why it's hard to launch myself out of bed some mornings, or it used to be. And so I'm starting laying down and I kid you not, the first step for me is you're going to think about just letting the weight of your emotion. So for me, dread is really heavy and so Imagine like, you've just got, like, weights on you. And so I would literally just drop out of bed. Like, I am. Imagine I've now got one foot on the floor. Now I've got another foot that is coming out of the bed. My body is still on the bed, but now I am dripping down the side of the bed. No joke. Oh, my God. I'm getting on the floor. And now my full body is on the floor. And when I first started doing this, I would literally land. By the time I slithered and slank out of bed, I would just lay on my stomach on the floor. And, you know, I really took Ann's words to heart that instead of, like, truly fighting the heaviness, embrace it. Let the heaviness just consume you and allow it to have you roll out of bed. And then I would just kind of start to move, and I'm writhing around on the floor, just literally, like, bending my knees and kind of almost like if you're in an exercise class and they're asking you to just kind of move your body in whatever way, and all you're doing is you're kind of breaking up the heaviness. Like, when you're laying in bed, what I noticed is that it just kind of sits there. But when you start to move around and then I would just, like, roll around. And Ann said to me, mel, just lay on the floor and kind of twist and turn and move your body in whatever shape you want until you start to feel that heaviness break apart. And so I'm literally laying on the floor right now, and I'm twisting and. Because so much of what's stored in your body first comes to you as a sensation, you feel on edge or you feel heavy, or you feel like something's up, that sensation is what we're moving through. And for the first couple mornings, I would literally lay here on the floor, as pathetic as it sounds, for like, a minute or two. And then at some point, what Anne was saying is that you'll start to feel the heaviness break apart. And the slow movement is what starts to break apart, the sensation that had been pinning you in bed. And as you move your body and you probably hear me on the floor, strange things start to happen. Like, your mind now is like, what are you doing? And I'm no longer thinking about the day because I'm thinking about how I'm, like, on this floor. And I want the feeling to get out of my. My body. And slowly what starts to happen is that frozen kind of dread starts to break apart based on your own movement. And in the beginning, I would be on the floor in doing this ridiculous like snake slither for a couple minutes and then all of a sudden you feel freed from it. You're not done yet. You're not done yet. What you're going to feel is this ability to actually either sit up or roll over. And you're not going to stand up yet. That's not allowed yet. Because the point is to move through this. And Anne told me to get on all fours and crawl across the floor to the bathroom. I'll tell you what I thought when she explained this to me. Are you kidding me? It's really gotten that bad that I am going to crawl across the floor. But holy cow, does it do wonders. And so I'm gonna walk you through why this works. You're gonna roll and slither out of bed like a snake. You're gonna hit the floor and get your whole body on the floor. Then you're gonna move your body around in whatever motion you want in a slow way and you'll start to notice the feeling and sensation breaking apart. And when you feel ready, which for me in the beginning was like couple minutes of laying on the floor, slithering around, shaking this feeling up, then you're gonna roll onto all fours and you're gonna crawl toward the bathroom. So Anne said, you know, you stay on the ground for as long as it takes to start to feel like it's breaking up. And then eventually you're going to roll off the ground and onto all fours, which feels ridiculous, honestly. Like I remember when I was learning this technique and I got up that first morning on my all fours and I'm thinking, am I really going to.

[Ann Davin]

Crawl into the bathroom?

[Mel Robbins]

Now keep in mind, at this point I'm sleeping in a bunk room and the bathroom is down the hall. So you get on all fours and the point is you're gonna slowly start to and you're gonna hear the rug. Literally like a dog or a cat, you're just going to crawl toward the bathroom, which for me is not only hard on the knees, but it means I'm risking being seen by my children or even worse, my mother in law. Just crawl to the bathroom. And I'll tell you what though, from the very first time I tried this, by the time I got to the bathroom, all that heaviness was gone. And something magical replaced it. This sense of freedom by the time I got to the bathroom that I wanted to stand up, I wanted to face the Day I had moved with and through the heaviness that it was no longer in me. And I felt something else, which was empowerment. And it seems ridiculous that crawling across the floor or slithering out of the bed and onto the floor like a snake and moving through it would have this impact, but I did this every single morning for six weeks. And I kid you not, slithering not only got me out of bed on those mornings, it did something way more miraculous. See, what Ann was teaching me and what you're now learning about is something called a somatic technique. Somatic is a fancy word that means of the body. There are experiences that you have in life that you remember in your subconscious mind, but it's also remembered in the body. And remember earlier how we were talking about the fact that I could talk all I wanted about the things that had happened to me and how I feel, but it wasn't getting rid of the feeling in the body. In order to move trauma through your body or to get rid of these negative and heavy sensations, you gotta drop from the neck down and process it in the body. And that's exactly what Ann was guiding me in doing when she taught me how to slither. I wanted you to have the benefit of hearing Anne explain exactly why she taught me this technique and how it was working to break apart all the frozen and stuck experiences in my body and set me free. Let's take a listen.

[Ann Davin]

The best way to work with a symptom, a somatic symptom like this, is to join with it, turn towards it, amplify it. When you did so, the residue shifted from frozen to thawing to fluidity. Your nervous system shifted from a state of distress to neutral and then to calm. I prompted you to join with a feeling of dread and imagine if it could move. How would it move? Would it slither? Let your body slither out of bed onto the floor. Move slowly. Notice how the dread wants to move. Let the dread lead the movement. Slithering is the tool you use to transform the trauma residue. Your body now is more likely to associate a sense of well being and safety when awakening to a new day. And when it doesn't, you know how to shift that feeling.

So I know you're going to have.

[Mel Robbins]

A lot of questions. Let me just cover some of the ones I get all the time. You're probably thinking, when do I use this? Well, I use this technique anytime. There's a morning where I just wake up and it just feels like too much to bear. Pull out the slither and you're Going to feel better. And by the way, you can also use this on the couch. So if you're sitting on the couch and you feel that heaviness hit and you can't seem to get yourself off the couch, just slide right off, slither on the floor, crawl to the doorway of that room and trust me, you will break apart that feeling. It's pretty unreal how this works. Another question that you may have is related to what if you have a really hard time actually feeling what you're feeling and dropping into your body? I can relate to this, especially since I've spent decades running away from this heaviness and this sensation. And so it can be really scary. But here's what I have found. The second that you literally just start small, just slide your leg down and out underneath the sheets and gravity kind of takes over. And what you'll find if you're willing to just try this is that you do have more power than you think. The reason why these sensations are so scary is because you don't know what to do with them. And they've been there a long time. And so part of my fear was, is this really what my life is? Is this what every morning is going to be? Because this is what it's always felt like. And you'll quickly realize as you're writhing around on the ground and rolling around and then you roll up to your hands and your knees, whoa. This feeling is shifting. It's weird, but it's shifting. And the more that you do this, the more comfortable you're going to become. And look, I was really scared at this point in my life. I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to wake up on edge and so anxious. And the thing that shocked me is simply trying this made me feel so empowered. It made me feel like these sensations were no longer going to rule my life. And they don't. Another thing that comes up a lot. What if you're in a bed that's really high up or you don't want to risk falling out of the bed because it's high on the floor? No problem. Just get the leg out first and just kind of inch so that you're sort of laying there and the leg is straight and then you get the other leg out and you can go from a half sit to a lying down to using your arm. It's okay. There's no right way to do this. Just get yourself eventually on the floor so that you're laying down on the floor. That's the important part, and then the feeling your whole body on the floor and starting to move and roll around, that starts to shake up this heaviness. It's super cool. What if you have a dog? I mean, Mr. Noodle is still sitting here on the bed sleeping next to me. He does not care if I'm slithering or crawling because he had a late night out hunting chipmunks. Okay. So he's just sleeping a dog. Fantastic. Because what happens is, as you're on the floor, if your dog comes over and starts licking you and then they follow you and you're crawling down the floor and they're like, what are you. What are you doing? You don't feel so alone. It actually kind of makes you laugh a little. And the laughter and the added kind of fun of an animal being there shakes up all this sensation even faster. At least that's what I found when my dogs, Homie and Yolo, would come and crawl along with me to the bathroom. You may be wondering, is this something you can teach your kids? Absolutely. It's a fantastic technique to teach to a child who has anxiety, who has trouble getting out of bed, who may have a lot going on that they're nervous about, and they wake up and don't want to get out of bed. Because it's something that you can do. You can accomplish this even on the mornings when things just feel really hard. And the best part about this is you're not correcting your kid. You're not pushing them. You are helping them move with the feeling. And you can do it with them. You can climb into bed and be like, let's slither out of bed today. Let's take that heaviness that you feel, which validates it, by the way, way. And let's use our bodies to move through it and shake it up. And we're going to crawl together. And when you feel ready, and this is the most important part that Anne would say to me, when you feel ready, you can go from crawling to standing up. And, you know, I said that I used this for six weeks straight, and it just broke apart everything that was in my body. But it only took me about a week or two to get to the point where I could crawl three or four crawl steps. I don't even know what the technical word is for it when you're on your hands and knees. And I was ready. I was ready to stand up and walk down the hall to the bathroom. And honestly, that was a huge victory. The fact that I was ready. Eight crawls Before I had been the week before was evidence that this was working. And I was slowly but surely chipping away at this tar sensation and this heaviness that had held me hostage for so long, and it kept progressing like this that eventually all I needed to do was roll on the floor and then I was standing up and eventually all I needed to do was put a leg out. And did I need to slide down? Not really. As I was sliding, I'm like, oh, I feel free. I can do it. And so you'll see that this works in magical ways because your body is designed to do this for you. And one more thing, don't get back in bed. No matter what, don't get back in bed. In fact, one of my habits is as soon as I get out of the bed, as long as I'm not slithering and crawling, I make the bed right away. And that's an important thing because once you get up and you get going and you move through this, you can keep going. And it's going to help you move forward in your life. And if you're disabled in any way and physically, this is an impossibility. I'd highly recommend that you take this information to your physical therapist or to a nurse or doctor or somebody that is supporting you and ask them how you can use a somatic technique which is simply joining in with the heavy feeling instead of avoiding it and moving with it. And I am certain that there are ways that this technique can be adapted. No matter what you're facing or what limitations your disability may create in terms of the physical nature of sliding out of a bed, I really wanted to leave you empowered. And so I asked Anne for guidance on how you can best set yourself up to get the best benefit from this somatic technique. And this is what Ann had to say.

[Ann Davin]

How can someone who isn't in therapy with a counselor who is trained in somatic inquiry benefit from this approach to healing? You can incorporate it into your self care routine. Ask yourself, where am I feeling friction right now in my life? Is this a reoccurring feeling? Turn towards the feeling by closing your eyes and notice what it feels like and where you feel it in your body. Then ask yourself, if this feeling could move, how would it move for the next few minutes, Allow the feeling to move you. You can do this in a quiet space or turn on music that will inspire your movement. When you're complete, check back in with your body and notice what has shifted. The benefits of a movement practice help us to free the body from Stress that often we don't realize we are carrying. Thus, stress leads to greater physical vitality and wellness, and we could certainly all use more of that.

[Mel Robbins]

And you know what else we could use more of? Ann Davin. Ann, I love you. Thank you again for helping me share this life changing, somatic technique. And to you, I want to be sure to tell you, in case no one else does, I love you. And I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And sometimes that means you and I need to try some weird stuff like slithering out of the bed and crawling down the floor so that we can get our power back. You deserve that. And I cannot wait to hear what you experience when you try this. I can't wait to see your social media posts about this. And you know what else I can't wait for? I cannot wait to be together with you again in the very next episode. I'll see you soon. Oh, my God. This is hilarious. Is that what you want today? Yes. Okay, you want me to keep talking now? I do. Yeah. See, my stomach's grumbling. Wow. And it won't stop your stomach from grumbling, but it's going to help you get out of bed on those mornings where you just don't feel like you can. Okay, great. I got it. Gotcha. Okay, ready? Like he needs like a. Yeah, like a. I don't know if we have insurance for this. I've never opened the show with my retainer, and this is like a. One of those ASMR things that people listen to. That's not what I intended to do, but we're going to just kind of keep on rolling here. Okay, you ready? So I'm gonna. Oh, wait. From flight or fright? Fright. It is frightening, isn't it? Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Stitcher.

[Unknown]

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