The Secret to Building Wealth from Nothing (It's Not What You Think) with Barbara Corcoran

Summary

The Mel Robbins Podcast

Episode: The Business Expert: How to Make More Money, Beat Self-Doubt, & Reinvent Your Life
Host: Mel Robbins
Guest: Barbara Corcoran
Date: April 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this high-energy, no-nonsense episode, Mel Robbins sits down with Barbara Corcoran—real estate mogul, Shark Tank legend, and one of America's most revered self-made businesswomen. The conversation is a masterclass in reinvention, conquering self-doubt, building confidence, and finding lasting success in business and life, regardless of your starting point or age. Corcoran shares her candid life story, actionable business playbook, and hard-won lessons that will call out your excuses and inspire you to start taking bold steps towards your goals.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Believing in Yourself & Beating Self-Doubt

• Your Inner Tape: Both Mel and Barbara describe how negative self-talk sabotages our potential. Barbara shares her method for rewriting internal narratives:
  • “We all have lousy tapes in our head leftover from childhood. … I made the habit of changing it every time my mind went down that hole. I changed it to, ‘Barbara, you’re incredible.’ And eventually I started believing it.” — Barbara (08:10)
• Never Too Late:
  • “It’s never too late. … I just paused and realized: I’m the golden goose. You can create exactly what you want.” — Barbara (09:35)
• Try and Move: The key to getting unstuck is action, not waiting for inspiration or the perfect plan. Opportunity comes from movement.
• Overcoming External Labels: Being underestimated (by others and oneself) can be a powerful motivator. Barbara describes being called “stupid” by her teacher due to undiagnosed dyslexia, and how that became a source of resilience and imaginative thinking.

2. Life Story Highlights: From Poor Childhood to Mogul

• Tough Upbringing:
  • “I grew up in a two-bedroom flat with 10 siblings. It was crowded and competitive … but it taught me to make do, entertain, and compete for attention. That translated directly into my business.” — Barbara (14:23)
• Finding Your Strengths: Barbara attributes her knack for reading people and building teams to her mother—a master judge of character. This keen intuition became her hiring and investing superpower.
• Dyslexia as Advantage: “Dyslexia made me successful. … You look at the world differently, interpret it differently. You’re overprepared constantly. … I could think of an idea a minute.” (17:19)

3. Work Ethic, Early Jobs, and Building Confidence

• Value of (Many) Early Jobs:
  • “I spent those 22 jobs, most importantly, learning what I was good and what I was bad at.” — Barbara (20:28)
• On Sales: Success in sales—and business—is about being genuine, making others comfortable, and really listening.
• Embodiment and Acting Like Your Goal:
  • At 23, Barbara spent nearly her full first commission check ($330 out of $340) on a coat to look and feel like the “queen of New York real estate.” “It made me feel like who I wanted to be.” (23:45)

4. Failure as Fuel

• The Power of Rejection:
  • After her boyfriend/business partner dumped her and said, “You’ll never succeed without me,” Barbara decided: “I’d rather die than not succeed.” That stinging rejection became a lifelong motivator (26:00).
• Biggest Flops Lead to Biggest Wins:
  • Barbara’s failed “Homes on Tape” initiative cost $77,000 but prompted her to put real estate listings online, leading to a major early advantage and explosive business growth. “I had almost two years to play around on the Internet before my competitors woke up.” (28:33)
• “Confidence comes from knowing you can always pick yourself back up and try again—never from never failing.” (27:47)

5. Practical Business and Career Advice

• Play in Traffic: Don’t overplan your path—try as much as possible and learn by doing. “If you wrap a career around what you’re naturally good at, you have nothing to do but win.” (30:12)
• Finding the Right Boss: The most important factor when starting a job is finding a great boss, not just a great position. A good boss “works for their people,” inspires, and develops talent (32:10).
• On Leadership: True leaders inspire belief and work in their employees’ best interests (38:15). The only unforgivable trait? Chronic complaining—“It’s like a cancer in a company.” (38:48)
• Document Your Value When Asking for a Raise:
  • Walk in with a list of everything you’re actually doing, compared to your job description, and ask specifically for your raise. “Most girls don’t name the amount. Most girls don’t ask for raises. … Men ask, women don’t.” (41:50)
• How to Start a Business (with nothing): Just start—online if possible! Every person is a connection; stop obsessing over exclusive “networking.” (42:46)
• On Idea Generation: Notice pain points everywhere—your own and others’—and think, “How could this be done better?” Most great business ideas are just improvements on existing things (46:25).
• Worst Advice: Waiting to have a “good resume” or the “perfect plan.” “You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.” (47:24)

6. Shark Tank, Investing, and “The Fire”

• Becoming a Shark: Barbara was initially rejected for the show, but wrote a tenacious email demanding the opportunity to compete for the position—turning one more rejection into a win (54:28).
• What Barbara Looks For in Founders:
  • “I’m just evaluating the entrepreneur. … I look for something they’ve survived—hardship, rejection, a parent who doubted them. That fire. … If I believe in the person, I buy in.” (56:41)
• Jack-in-the-Box Mentality: Entrepreneurs must love risk and getting back up after setbacks. If not, they’re better off working for someone else (58:38).
• Three-Month Rule: After investing, Barbara sees who takes responsibility when things go wrong—those who own mistakes always succeed in the long run (61:11).

7. Women, Success, and Not Playing Small

• Don’t See Yourself as “the Woman in the Room”:
  • “I never thought of myself as a woman. I thought of myself as a competitor. … I was going to put you under the table, without a doubt.” (65:53)
• Compete with the Best—No Limiting Categories: Mel and Barbara urge not to frame aspirations (like “number one female podcaster”) in limiting terms. Go for #1, period (66:19).
• Generosity: Generous people aren’t threatened; sharing gives you more and multiplies opportunity (70:19).

8. Later Life, Reinvention, and Permission to Try

• It’s Never Too Late:
  • “Your kids aren’t going to love you less. Your friends aren’t going to say ‘poor her’—they’re going to admire you for trying, even if you fall flat on your face.” (72:01)
• Worst That Can Happen: You return to where you started, and can always go back.
• Curiosity is Everything: Barbara is always looking for her next adventure, and encourages listeners to do the same, whatever their stage of life. “There’s always something around the corner if you’re curious enough to take a peek.” (73:34)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You’re much more capable than you think you are.” — Barbara (74:31)
• “You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.” — Barbara (47:24)
• “Opening your mouth got me everything I ever got. Without opening my mouth, I would have nothing.” — Barbara (56:19)
• “Confidence is knowing you’ll pick yourself back up, not that you’ll never fail.” — Mel Robbins (27:47)
• “I never thought of myself as a woman. I thought of myself as a competitor.” — Barbara (65:53)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• 07:13 — Why you’re more capable than you think
• 09:35 — “It’s never too late.” The “how many me’s can I fit in my years left?” exercise
• 12:42 — “You have to try.” The path to finding fulfillment
• 14:23 — Lessons from growing up poor in a big family
• 17:19 — Dyslexia as a superpower
• 20:28 — Value of 22 early jobs: play in traffic, learn by doing
• 23:45 — Embodying your future self (the Bloomingdale’s coat story)
• 26:00 — The ultimate breakup/founder’s revenge and “I’d rather die than not succeed”
• 28:33 — Why failure precedes the biggest wins
• 32:10 — The boss vs. the job: what matters most in your early career
• 38:48 — The one thing Barbara won’t tolerate in employees (complaining)
• 41:50 — How to ask for a raise (and who does or doesn’t)
• 46:25 — How to generate business ideas: “Is there a better way to do this?”
• 54:28 — Barbara’s Shark Tank origin: turning rejection into the opportunity
• 56:41 — What Barbara looks for in entrepreneurs: fire in the belly
• 62:22 — Why overpreparing = confidence
• 65:53 — On competing, not seeing yourself as limited by gender
• 73:34 — Always planning for “something good” around the corner
• 74:31 — “You are more capable than you think you are”
• 76:01 — “It’s not hokey, it’s a reality check on what’s possible.”
• 77:19 — “It’s about the first baby step.”

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Actionable Takeaways

• Reframe self-talk and change the narrative in your head from self-doubt to self-affirmation.
• Start before you’re ready; don’t wait for the ideal resume, plan, or connection.
• Document and own your value—especially when asking for more money or opportunity.
• Try everything early on—that’s how you discover your actual skills and the kind of work or business that energizes you.
• View failure as part of the process and the quickest path to your biggest success.
• Find mentors and bosses who champion you, and strive to be a leader who genuinely works for your people.
• Don’t play small or limit your category. Go for the top, full stop.

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Final Words

Barbara’s resounding message: “It’s such a shame to waste a life. You can really become anything you want to be.” (75:13)

Mel’s closing thoughts emphasize love, encouragement, and a call to action: Get out there and take the first step. If you can count on yourself to get back up, you can do anything.

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For more inspiration and business/life strategies, follow Mel Robbins: [@melrobbins]

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This summary skips ads and non-content sections. All major points, wisdom, and anecdotes from the episode are included, with timestamps for context.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I can hardly contain my excitement right now because I'm about to introduce you to one of the most unforgettable light of fire under your rear end. Take no BS person you will ever meet. I'm talking about the one, the only Barbara Corcoran. She is one of the original sharks on Shark Tank. She's a real estate mogul, one of the most influential self made women in business, a boundary breaking entrepreneur and investor, and you've probably seen this 76 year old dishing out advice to entrepreneurs on television, but you've never experienced the wisdom she is about to give to you directly today based on her remarkable life and career. Barbara went from being called stupid by the nuns in her Catholic school to working 22 different jobs to borrowing $1,000 from her boyfriend to start in the real estate business only to get dumped when he left her for her secretary to building one of the biggest real estate companies in New York City and selling it for $66 million. If you're feeling behind, underestimated, or you don't think you have what it takes, Barbara will tell you bs. You just need her playbook. She's going to look you straight in the eye and call you out on every single excuse that you've been hiding behind. And if you've been telling yourself you're too old and it's too late, you better buckle up because she's got some things to say to you. She's also going to break down the real foundations for success, teach you how to build confidence after you've been dumped, rejected, discarded or doubted, and will reveal the big difference between people who win and people who lose. I cannot wait for you to hear and to experience this episode today. Oh my gosh. Isn't there something really satisfying about growing your own herbs and vegetables? From the garden to table freshness to the simple boost that comes from spending time outside Bonnie Plants makes it easy to grow a healthy, thriving vegetable and herb garden at great value. With more than 200 starter plants, there's plenty of variety for you to choose from. And starting with starter plants instead of seeds means a quicker harvest. So even if you plant later in the season, you can still enjoy fresh vegetables and herbs sooner. Find Bonnie Plants at your local garden center today or visit bonnie plants.com There's a difference between liking a house and actually getting it. Redfin is built to close that gap. Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents, so when you find

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[B]

Thank you very much.

[A]

I have been looking forward to this because I have met you in passing a number of times. I admire you so much. I'm a fan of Shark Tank. I've heard your keynote address. It's extraordinary. How might my life be different if I take everything to heart that you' to share with us and teach us today, and I apply it to my own life or my business.

[B]

I would love people to appreciate and believe that you're far more capable than you think you are. I've never met a person who wasn't more capable than they gave themselves credit for. And I'd like people to really understand that you don't have to do it the way everybody else does. It's not the way that you are going to do it. You're free to do it exactly as you please.

[A]

I know that so many people are going to listen to this and they're gonna share it, particularly with the women in their lives that are doubting themselves, that don't think they're capable. So could you speak directly to the person who maybe received this from a friend or a sister and they're feeling full of doubt, they've lost some confidence, they're feeling a little stuck. What do you wanna say to that?

[B]

Well, I think everyone feels stuck. I'm probably feeling stuck four or five times a month. Really, it's not important whether you feel stuck or not. Just assume it's a human condition. We all feel that way. But I think you can do a lot to change yourself to being unstuck. And one of the best ways to do it, or at least I started with it, is to change tape in your head. I had a tape in my head, like intimidation all the way. Until I decided to change it from Barbara, you're overstating. Barbara, you can't get there. Barbara, you can't, can't, can't, can't, can't. And replace it with barbara, you're incredible. Now, did I believe it? No. But I made the habit of changing it every time my mind went down that hole. I changed it to, barbara, you're incredible. And eventually I started believing it. We all have lousy tapes in our head leftover from childhood. Man, I have a little. I think the. The woman that gave me the worst tape in my head was Sister Stella Marie, the nun from hell in third grade who said, you're always gonna be stupid cause you can't read. It took me probably eight years to get over that. And I said, I'm not gonna be stupid. And that's. I decided not to be. I mean, it's a shame that. How dare someone make you feel less than you are. You've gotta come back strong.

[A]

Well, and oftentimes, Barbara, and I think you know this too, because you just talked a little bit about how you were like, barbara, you're doing this. Barbara, you're doing that. And you started saying, barbara, you're incredible. And then the more you repeated it, you started to believe it. But oftentimes the person that's beaten us down the most is ourselves.

[B]

Yes, very much.

[A]

And so for the person who's listening right now, who feels like, okay, Mel, Barbara, I love both you ladies, but it's too late for me. I have screwed up too many times. I have not gotten myself together. It's too late, I'm too old. What do you wanna say to that person?

[B]

It's never too late. Obviously, you know, I know that. But I think you just have to pause and realize I have always done a simple exercise. I've counted the years I have left and think of how many more me's can I get in those years. So when I was 46 and sold my business, I thought I sold the golden goose. And I thought I would never, ever create another Business again like that. I thought I had sold my best business. Not that I didn't want to. I wanted to. But then I realized I was a golden goose. You can create exactly what you want. I mean, I laid eggs again and again, and I reinvented myself over and over again. But I think the key there really is to believe that you really have to get good at trying. Because the minute you try, an opportunity is right there and you go, whoa, I didn't think of that. But it's when you're in that still position, or at least for me, when I'm in a still position, I could sit at my desk and try to invent an idea. Forget it. It's about moving on something, anything. Just get yourself moving. And then the idea becomes itself. And by the way, about failing at stuff, which I find just stops. A lot of people, they feel they've had two or three failures and, oh, I'm not gonna do it. I just don't believe in that. I think they just didn't hang around long enough to see the flip side of failure. Because all my good stuff happened after a big failure. It almost seemed like for me, the bigger the failure I had, the bigger the upside. But I was dogged enough to just stay there and see there's gotta be something. You know, there's gotta be something. And I think just waiting around for the something to find it and believing there's something there. I don't think you're ever wrong. I think there's always something there and you could get something started again.

[A]

You said something that really caught my attention, which is you do this thing where you count the years you have left.

[B]

Yes, I do.

[A]

So do you have a number in mind for how long you're gonna live?

[B]

Yeah, about 105.

[A]

Okay, 105. So let's just take that away as something you can grab from Barbara. You're Gonna Live to 105. You've got that many years left.

[B]

And I love, what, 35 years?

[A]

That's. How many me's can I pack into?

[B]

How about another two? But they've got to be different. They've got to suit who I am at that juncture in my life.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[B]

I could never build another real estate business with the energy it took, the people I had to hire, the financial stress I went through. I'm older now. I just can't handle that. It's got to be appropriate to who you are and true to yourself at that point in time, because your experience changes you. You're still the same Barbara, but you're slightly different, so it's gotta fit you very well.

[A]

How do you know what fits you and what doesn't?

[B]

It feels right. I don't have a plan necessarily. I might have a vague plan, but I have confidence that I'll find something and that it will feel right when I see it. Like I did this last go around when I saw the Corcoran Group. I tried cooking lessons. I was going to be a chef. I tried artistic lessons. I was going to be an artist. I have all those capabilities. But nothing felt right. I started a PR company for about three months. It didn't feel right. Threw that away. The fourth one I landed on, I became an expert in real estate on the Today show. And all of a sudden I was getting work and I said, hey, this feels right. Let me do it. I'm good at talking on tv. And off I went.

[A]

And that right there is an example of exactly what you just told us to do. You have to try. You're also known as one of the most accomplished investors and founders today. But what people don't know is how the story begins. And so what I wanna do is go all the way back to growing up in New Jersey and talk about what life really looked like. I got a little photo for you of you and your siblings.

[B]

Oh, sure. I love this photo. That was my sister Ellen's idea. Thank God we posed for it. Yeah, you don't get those opportunities easily enough.

[A]

Talk about what life really looked like when you were growing up in New Jersey.

[B]

Well, I actually had a very happy childhood. I was very poor, but I was happy. My mother had 10 kids. Her father was. My father was her 11th child. I think he was the hardest to manage of all of us, but it was crowded and it was competitive. I would say those two words come to mind. Always crowded. So you had to make do all the time. And finesse all the time. And competitive. You had to compete. For my mother and father's attention, we each got very little tension. It was doled out in tiny little pieces. And I really believe that's the reason. I've needed a lot of attention my whole life. Enough for that or something. But it was chaotic. But my mother had a great ability for systems. She had a system for everything in the household. And with her systems, we were always well dressed, we were always had good meals, we always celebrated holidays. And we felt like we were the rich kids in town, really, but we weren't. But what a great upbringing I had, really.

[A]

So you Grew up in a two bedroom flat with 10 siblings. How did that shape the way you approach life?

[B]

I was always competing for my mother's attention. So I got good at talking, I got good at entertaining the kids, entertaining my parents. And I was always wanted in the group. You know, you kind of had to be invited in. When you have 10 kids, you play with whoever you want. I was always one of the kids they wanted to play with because I was fun, fun loving. So I learned how to make fun. And I just carry that forth to my business. I think I was the most fun boss in the world, and that made a big difference. It made people love me.

[A]

Did having a ton of siblings and growing up in an environment that was crowded and competitive help you learn how to read people? Cause I think one of the things that I've noticed about you, especially in your role as a judge on Shark Tank, is you seem to be an instant judge of good or bad character of a founder you want to invest in and somebody you don't.

[B]

You know, when we were kids, my mother was a great judge of people. She had a crazy thing she did when she brought the kid home from Holy Name Hospital. She'd unwrapped him and say, me, your brother Tommy, he's going to be a magnificent dancer. Wow. A dancer in the family. And she coined what everybody was going to be when they grew up. She was amazingly accurate. The reason she made that prediction about my brother was he had fat legs and he was kicking like hell. But he became a ballet dancer for Alvin Alley Dance Theater.

[A]

He did for Alvin Alley, for me.

[B]

She said when I came home crying out of school, that sister Stella Maria told me I was stupid again. She said to me, don't worry about it. You have a wonderful imagination. And she announced that when I was born, and she put me in role all the time. And she said, with it, you'll fill in all the blanks. So I grew up really thinking I had the best imagination in the world. So judging people, I think we're all, in our family, great judges of people, because my mother was. My mother could judge anyone from a mile away. And she was accurate. I remember when I was running my business, I hired bookkeepers to be salespeople, salespeople to be bookkeepers. Switch things around, because I just envisioned them in a different role. I saw that capacity and I had the empathy to walk in their shoes and understand them. And as a result of that, I really hired good people. I really think that was my secret. But I got it from my Mother. I never had a mentor, but I had my mother.

[A]

You know, you told the story about that awful nun who said you were stupid. The nun from hell. The nun from hell. And what you didn't know at the time is that it wasn't that you couldn't read, it was that you had dyslexia.

[B]

Yeah. And like we didn't have a name for that. I don't think then they definitely didn't

[A]

because they really weren't talking about it much when I was in school. And I'm a couple decades younger.

[B]

You just a couple. They had a special class in that

[A]

they did down the hall.

[B]

Ah, yes.

[A]

But I found out that I had dyslexia late in life. Just like you did. Because our sons were being diagnosed.

[B]

Yes, that's usually when you find out.

[A]

So do you think being underestimated or having to figure out different ways to solve problems is part of what's made you successful?

[B]

I think dyslexia made me successful. I don't think I would have been successful without it. You know, a lot comes with being dyslexic. You look at the world differently, you interpret it differently. You're over prepared constantly. Or I am. I'll prepare like seven hours for a one hour speech. It's ridiculous. Do I know this stuff? Of course I do. But I'm so insecure because I never want to be called on again and not know the answer. You know, nothing's worse than being a dyslexic child and being judged by how well you could read or write. The worst thing for me was being asked to read out loud in front of the other kids. You were the, the, the. You were definitely looking stupid. But you know what it brings with you? A different way of thinking. I sat in that classroom six hours a day and just imagined things. I never paid attention. And it's right that today I could think of an idea a minute. I could just think of solutions really fast. That's a gift I got out of being dyslexia. I think also that with dyslexia people underestimate you. So you don't read at the board meeting and they write you off because you're stumbling. But they don't know your imagination, what you're thinking about and how you express yourself with your mouth as a result of not being able to write. I mean, I got very good with my mouth. I got very funny.

[A]

You and I are so similar.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes. And if you can't do what's being asked of you, you find Other ways to matter. You find other ways to express yourself. I mean, it's not.

[B]

There's no way you can put your muscles somewhere else. Yes.

[A]

Do you think it's interesting? Because I think a lot of people are afraid. Afraid of being underestimated. But for you and me, come on, talk to me about what it means to be underestimated.

[B]

When I was building my business at Corcoran Group in New York City, you have to appreciate that all the businesses are owned by men. All the people who work for the businesses were well connected. I hired everybody that nobody else wanted. People wrote me off. They weren't watching me for, like, 10 years. None of the big boys watched me. I was a girl that wasn't going to do anything really spectacular. And I creeped up on them. They weren't watching. I bit their ass from behind. They never knew what was coming. I was able to try marketing ideas that they never thought of. I did business a different way. You know, I was able to hire gay men. No one was hiring gay men. But what dedication I had for my gay salespeople. I hired everybody who didn't want to, but what a team we felt. And everybody was getting even, proving that they could be a somebody. And I was there to tell them they were better than they ever were and they were really going to be a somebody. And guess what? Everybody did. Even a guy I hired as a country airstrike at the Pier Hotel became my secretary, and he later went on to run my arch rival and almost put me out of business. My God, I just had a gift of knowing what people would do well.

[A]

You know, one of the things that I also love about you is I think there's very few people that could outwork me, but you might be one of them.

[B]

Oh, I could outwork you. No doubt. I've never met anyone who could work harder.

[A]

Yes, you work very, very hard. You worked 22 jobs. Yes, I did. Before you started that real estate business, including being a receptionist, a waitress. I want you to walk me through that chapter. And what did those early jobs teach you?

[B]

The early jobs are invaluable. And, you know, today people think they should know what they want to be when they grow up, and they get right into that track. I think it's such a terrible mistake. I spent those 22 jobs, most importantly, learning what I was good and what I was bad at. So I was a great waitress. I, at times had three waitress jobs at once, but I could charm anybody. I could serve them faster than anybody. Get that coffee there Call the guy handsome if I couldn't remember his name from the day before. And it helped me tremendously. I was a nurse's aide and I had post temperature charts and I got the numbers mixed up. I knew I didn't belong in a business with numbers at all. I learned that I could sell more hot dogs at a hot dog stand than the next kid because I had the gift of gab. I learned exactly what I should be at. And I learned really, most importantly, I was great at sales. And that's what I wound up being when I went into the real estate business. I knew nothing about real estate and never really learned anything about real estate. But I knew how to make people happy with their real estate and talk them into things they really loved and were afraid to make the choice about.

[A]

What do you think makes someone good at sales?

[B]

I think it's being genuine. I don't think you fake it. I think people know when you're selling. Selling them something they don't want to buy, talking them into it. I think you just have to make someone comfortable with what they're going to choose anyway. Give them reasons why it's a great choice. Make them feel justified in going up to a higher price, that they deserve that apartment at a higher price, or they deserve the better view or whatever. I think it's making them feel comfortable with you. It's really more what sales is about. Comfort.

[A]

I agree. And I think that's a lot of what comes through those early jobs is getting comfortable with yourself and comfortable with people of different moods as you're serving them.

[B]

But thank God I had the chance to try out 22 jobs. You know, when I went into Bloomingdale's to buy my first coat was an extravagant coat. With my first commission check, I didn't know what I'd look good in. I tried on a million coats. And it's kind of the same way with jobs. I think you got to just try on a million stuff to see what you're good at. Just doesn't come naturally, you know?

[A]

I have a photo of you.

[B]

Where are you getting these photos?

[A]

I haven't seen these photos. When you're 23 years old.

[B]

That's the coat I was telling you about.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

Yeah. I swear to God.

[A]

That's the first coat you bought at Bloomingdale's.

[B]

$330. And I had a $340 commission check.

[A]

Okay, hold on a second. So you earned $340 on your first real estate transaction and you spent 330 of it on a coat.

[B]

Yeah, I blew it.

[A]

And so what would you tell that version of you, the 23 year old Barbara, about what's possible.

[B]

I would have told myself, you're dead on. You look and feel like a million bucks. You're going to act like a million bucks. I wanted to be the queen of New York real estate. On day one in the business, I saw it like I could taste it, touch it, saw it in living color. But I had a ratty outfit on, you know, so once I put that coat on, I wore it for the next six years up and down the streets of Manhattan. But I felt like a fancy lady. Everyone would have told me, what a stupid thing to do when you only had $1,000 to stretch. It wasn't a stupid thing. It was probably the best thing I ever bought.

[A]

How come?

[B]

Because it made me feel like who I wanted to be.

[A]

Well, you know what I love about this story, but there's really important wisdom to pull out of it that I wanna make sure as you're listening or watching that you don't miss. So Barbara, even at the age of 23, you had this sense of clarity to be able to say to yourself, this is what I want. And without that sense of clarity and the permission that you give yourself to say, you know what, I want to be successful in real estate. I wanna be the queen of real estate in New York City. Why the hell not? Declaring it is the first step. And then you started to think about, what are some of the small things I need to do to feel like it was the first one and the coat was the first one to embody it, to look like it, to feel like it before you were it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So let's fast forward seven years, you're 30 years old, your boyfriend, who also becomes your business partner. Why the hell are you in business with your boyfriend, Barbara?

[B]

I was a diner waitress and he came in one night and he was charming. He had jet black hair, aviator shades on, he was sexy. I had never had a boyfriend. So at 23, I really wanted a boyfriend. And he later, two months later, once I was his girlfriend, gave me a thousand dollars to start my business. Where the heck would I get a thousand dollars?

[A]

That's true.

[B]

That was a lucky break. That was the lucky break. And I started the company first with him. I needed him. I didn't have the confidence at the time to think I could really do it, but he told me I could. And then I believed it. He told me he was successful in business. He was charming and he said you'd be great at real estate sales. So I said, okay, that's good enough. I could always go back to the diner. And that's exactly what I did. I started the business.

[A]

So he left you?

[B]

Yes. Married my secretary. That bitch.

[A]

Well, now you want to thank her. Probably.

[B]

Yeah, probably.

[A]

But he also told you that you'll never succeed without me.

[B]

Well, I don't blame him because I was going out the door. I divided the business in half and left him on a Friday afternoon and took my half of my business out with me. And I think he was angry. I don't really think in the hindsight when I think about it, that he meant it. But thank God he said it. Because when he said, you'll never succeed without me, I knew I'd rather die than not succeed. And when I was in bad times and didn't know how to keep the business through all the upheavals in New York City, going bankrupt, the stock market crash, 9, 11, when I was always be out of cash, I would think of his words that would just come back on me. And I would always think of some other angle to keep in business. So thank God he said that he was wrong. I sold my business for $66 million about 20 years later and he was out of business in three years. So go figure.

[A]

Go what you almost said. I heard so.

[B]

Yep, yep, yep.

[A]

So how do you build confidence when you're scared or when you're unsure?

[B]

You know, I have all my confidence for one thing only, and I don't think people appreciate it. They think if you're successful at what you attempt to, even in a particular chapter in your life or a day in your life, you grab from that your confidence and you have more confidence for the next time. It's never worked for me that way. I've tried everything. I've failed, you know, most things, but most things in my real estate business were flops. But when I had a success, I found my confidence wasn't built. But what did build my confidence and made it rock solid is I knew I could outwork and out try anyone. And I knew I'd be back if I failed. I. I just knew in my heart I was going to stand right back up and know. You always stand back up and try again. You're confident. You look confident because you are confident. You might not win again. You might fail again, but the next one will be a win. So I just keep trying, trying, trying, trying. I try so much today. Anything that's new out in the social space. I try it. That's where I get my confidence from.

[A]

That's the best definition of confidence. Because I think most people say my confidence is in the thing I'm accomplishing. And you just said no confidence. True confidence is knowing that you can count on yourself to keep going and to pick yourself back up. Nobody takes that away from you. That's right. Nobody can take that away from you. What is the biggest failure that you've had? You keep talking about failure. What's someone that's like, whoa.

[B]

Well, any of my failures, the biggest ones were always my biggest success. Probably the one I was what lost the most money on. Would you say was a failure?

[A]

Sure. What was that?

[B]

That was Homes On Tape. I announced to my salespeople, you know, we're gonna take all your apartments and put them on videotape. This was before the advent of the Internet.

[A]

That sounds brilliant.

[B]

It sounds brilliant. It cheered me on. And I felt like a goddamn genius. So I put everybody on videotape, including my salespeople. Did their makeup, did their hair, made them look beautiful. And no one handed out the tape. I couldn't believe that it would be. I spent $77,000, which was on what I thought was a great idea. It failed miserably. But I was with my husband that weekend, right after the failure and feeling sorry for myself for about a minute, and he mentioned he was playing war games on this new government thing called the Internet in real time. And I took my tapes and put them on the Internet that Monday morning. And I registered all my competitors URLs, so I own them. And we sold two apartments out of London in one week. Boom, boom. It just hit. And that was the advent of the Internet, which was going to change the real estate business more than any other thing has changed it. But I had almost two years to play around on the Internet before my competitors woke up. And when they woke up, they always called me, asking for the URLs back. That's how I knew they were waking up, you know. But now look at that. That was the worst disaster, money wise, because it was my whole profit. But in the long run, or even in the short run, it was my biggest success. The Internet took me from trouble. Maybe 12th, 13th position and maybe number three. Boy, I was coming within shooting range after the Internet because I was there early and it was simply happenstance. I hung around. That's all I did. I hung around and used it.

[A]

What's your advice to somebody who's listening right now, who's Just starting their career, who's trying to figure out their future.

[B]

You're not gonna figure it out from afar. Just try a lot of stuff on. Forget about what mom and dad said or whatever. Just figure out. I think a good guide is to figure out what you're good at and figure out what you're not good at. And if you don't know, get out and play in the traffic and find out. See if you're good at this or that, and that makes for a happy and successful career. If you could wrap a career choice around something you're naturally good at, you have nothing to do but win. You really will win with it, because that's what I did. I only utilize in my business a few traits that I have, and that's good enough.

[A]

What are the few traits?

[B]

Judging people. Marketing and salesmanship. That's what I do well. When I sold the Corcoran Group, I sat down with a legal pad and wrote down everything I was good at and everything I was bad at to try to think of what I would do. And there were only three things I could do. One of them was tv, one of them was a PR agency, and one was an advertising agency would utilize my traits of being good on camera, being a good salesman, and liking public speaking. Those were the three that were on the list. And I went into the TV business. Thank God. I could have done it in the PR and advertising space. I think just as well.

[A]

Well, you said you tried it, but you didn't like it. It didn't feel right.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't.

[A]

That's why you gotta get in traffic and play around. Because then you're gonna figure out what actually feels right and what doesn't. You know, there's a lot of people that are losing their jobs right now. And also I read this stat that 69% of Americans would quit their job today if they could afford. Oh, is that true? Yep.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Because they do not like what they do. What do you think the single most valuable skill right now is that someone should focus on learning?

[B]

Well, technology, of course. AI in particular. I can't imagine running my business without it. I've just gotten on it six months ago or so. That's important. But I think far more important for anyone thinking of how they should spend their time. I think when you pick a job, you shouldn't be choosing what job you want, but you should be looking for a good person to work for. When you've got a great boss, it's far, far more important than a great job because the boss has got you back. He pushes you ahead, he believes in you and you have a heck of a fun time working for him. But most people choose a position over the boss or the chances of promotion over the boss. When you have a good boss, you got the right thing in your own corner.

[A]

Barbara, where were you in my 20s and 30s? You would have saved me so many mistakes if I had had this advice of yours and sooner. But I got it now and you got it now. Here's what I wanna do. I wanna hit the pause button so that we can hear a word from our sponsors. But I really wanna just give you a chance to share this episode in your family group chat. You wanna know who I'm sending this to? I am sending this to my three adult kids. I'm sending it to my best friend Jodi who is starting a new business. She needs to hear Barbara, you have people in your life who need Barbara Corcoran in their life. So share this extraordinary episode with them and don't go anywhere. When we return, Barbara's going to share exactly how to ask for more money at work and the mindset difference between people who win and people who stay stuck. You're going to be surprised by her answer. So don't go anywhere. Stay with me. We'll be right back. You know now's the time where school year starts to accelerate. Spring testing is around the corner, projects are piling up and the push toward the end of the year it is on and IXL helps kids stay confident and prepared during this important stretch. IXL is an award winning online learning platform for Pre K through 12th grade with personalized interactive lessons across math, reading, writing and science that adapt to your child's level and pace. It's trusted nationwide with 1 in 4 students in the US learning with IXL, including students in 96 of the top 100 school districts and it's proven in all 50 states to improve grades with students who use IXL scoring higher on tests. Plus, one subscription covers every subject for every child in your home, often costing less than a single hour of tutoring. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and the Mel Robbins Podcast listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.commel Visit ixl.commel to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. This podcast is brought to you by Expedia. Planning a family vacation is a lot. Everybody has different schedules, different needs and strong opinions so wouldn't it be nice to have a copilot, something that makes the planning part way easier? That's where Expedia comes in. Expedia lets you book flights, hotels, vacation rentals, cars, activities, all all in one place. And when you bundle it together, you can save up to 30% plus if plans change, because they always do. At least my family Expedia helps you stay in control. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Members only. Savings vary. See site for details. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. Money runs your life whether you like it or not. Your choices, your relationships, your confidence. And if you're stressed about money, it can show up in your daily life in a lot of ways. Trouble sleeping or concentrating. Constant worry, tensions with people you care about. If money was just math, you probably wouldn't be stressed about it. But money is identity, expectations, comparison. It's psychological and emotional. BetterHelp can connect you with qualified therapists who can help manage the impact that financial stress can bring. With a network of more than 30,000 therapists that have served more than 6 million people around the world, BetterHelp makes it easier to find support that fits your needs. You just take a short questionnaire and then you'll be matched with a therapist based on what you're looking for. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Melrobbins that's betterhelp.com Melrobb welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. You and I are here with Barbara Corcoran, who is dishing out the truth. We have so much more to jump into. So, Barbara, how do you know who is a good boss? Like, what would you look for if you were going out and you're not? Well, obviously you're Barbara Corcoran, so you're not going out looking for a job.

[B]

But I may be.

[A]

Well, maybe, who knows? But if you were looking and assessing, you know, who do I want to work for? What would you want that boss him or her to have in terms of making them a good boss?

[B]

I would say the most important trait is have them speak about who works with them. Who do you have working for you now? Who's your favorite person? What do you do with them? You know, how long have they been here? Like, you're actually finding out if they're working for the people versus the people working for them, which I think is really the key to being a good boss is to work for your people. You want someone who's gonna say, he's got this guy, got promoted, blah, blah, blah. If you just get a guy who wants you to do your and that's it, and you don't prod him to tell you about the people, you really won't learn about his attitude toward people and you don't know what you're working for.

[A]

What do you think the difference is between somebody who's a boss versus somebody being a good leader?

[B]

Well, I guess a boss tells you what you ought to be doing, which is valuable. You wanna know what your job is. But a leader inspires you and gets you to believe in their dream and see things the way they do and makes you willing to climb up the mountain behind them. I think being a leader is not easy. It doesn't come to everybody, but I think it has to be 100% genuine and you have to be on the employee's side. If they feel that they'll follow you anywhere, they really will.

[A]

How can you be a good leader? Like, for somebody who's listening, that wants to be better in a leadership role, or to just be a good leader, what are some of the things that you would tell them to think about and practice?

[B]

I think the most important thing is to speak. I mean, you know, when you're being con and bosses are great at con to you, but if you're a great leader and you speak genuinely as to why what you want them to do is good for them, not for you, they'll listen to you and they'll follow you. I think you have to put it in their terms, why it's good for them. Because the good leader is always working for their employees if they have their head on straight. And that's how you get it done.

[A]

What are the characteristics that would make you fire somebody? Like, you're out.

[B]

Wow. Only one thing. I don't mind ineptitude. I don't even mind people who aren't putting in the effort. I can change that. I can inspire them and change it. But I can change a complainer. If you're a complainer, I get rid of them. It's like a cancer in a company. One complainer feeling sorry, oh, poor me needs oh, poor you, and it's contagious. It catches on and becomes incestuous in the company. I don't tolerate complainers. I got rid of them as fast as I could because they were dangerous and they were attacking my people. I felt a negative attitude Was attacking my positive people. So I got rid of them.

[A]

And, you know, why does teamwork matter so much? You've talked so much about team. Why does teamwork matter? And how do you build trust with your team? Because especially, like, if you think back to building your real estate company, people go between real estate companies all the time. They get poached all the time. And it takes trust to stay somewhere.

[B]

Well, in the real estate business, it's tremendous turnover, roughly 60% a year. I never had anyone leave unless I fired them. They never wanted to leave. They were having the most fun at my company. They liked me more than any of the boss out there. And they most importantly liked each other. It was their family, so they stayed around. And how do you inspire that? By letting them know at every turn along the way that you are for them. I'm here to serve you. What do you need lately? How can I make your job easier? What would you like to be when you grow up? Where do you want to be promoted to? What do you want to do? I just had their viewpoint in my head. It didn't make a difference what I thought, but what happened happened naturally was they became ferocious and on my side. And besides, you know why you basically need a team? Because you can't build a business without it. I've never seen anything without people building. So you have to inspire your people.

[A]

Well, I think people forget that companies are actually people. It's made up of the people that work there.

[B]

It's easy to forget the higher you're up.

[A]

It's very easy to forget. What is the most effective way, Barbara, to ask for a raise?

[B]

Guys, tell the person what you were hired for with a list of what you did, what you were hired for. Specific. As specific as you could be. If you have 30 items, put it on a list, walk in and show them that list compared to the list you're actually doing. Because people are always hired for less work than they're actually given. And you say, I'm doing all these other duties now. 20%, I'd like a raise. And you name the amount. You name the amount. Most girls don't name the amount. Most girls don't ask for raises. Men ask for raises. Women don't. That's been my experience in running the Corcoran group. We had a thousand people, 10, 25 or so working there. And I can tell you twice, Did a woman ask me for a raise in the 15 years yet the men always asked for raises and told you how great they were. And I had women that were much better than the men. You just have to get in there, make the appointment, show them what you're doing, and ask for a specific amount. And you can't fall for the typical thing that big companies say. There's not in the budget. Someone's getting a raise, but it's not you. But someone's getting a raise.

[A]

You know, one of the things that I always think about a lot, too, because I think that's excellent advice to document everything you're doing, because your boss has no clue. And you're doing a lot more than anybody realizes.

[B]

Feeling sorry for yourself.

[A]

Yes. And if you don't have a big list, you have no business going and asking for a raise.

[B]

No, I don't want to pay you more for the same thing you did yesterday. Yeah.

[A]

Or less than what I'm actually expecting you to do. But I also see people making the mistake of doing one of these glassdoor searches and looking at comparable positions in a company and then coming in barometer. Well, maybe I want to see what you're doing. I want to actually see what you're doing. Because if you've got evidence of all the things that you're doing now I know what the value is, not title to title.

[B]

You're right. You don't want to walk in and quote the average price that people are being paid for your position. That's what you mean by that?

[A]

Yes, yes, yes. If you. I'm sure you must get asked this question a million times, which is, I have no money, I have no connections, but I want to start a business. Where do you start?

[B]

Start online. You don't even have to have a product. You could have a drawing of a product and sell it and make it once you get orders. I mean, the world is open to you. Everything is equal today. When I started, you needed to have the right competition, the right person supporting you, the right money, the right connections. Today, it's really not worth anything. I hear more people say, how do I get the right connections? I'm like, the right connections is no such a thing. You know, everybody you meet for me was a connection. I talked to everybody. But when I was talking to them, I really wasn't talking to them. I was interviewing them. I wonder what they could do for me. I wonder what their talent is. How could I use them? And then I would take them into my firm and employ them in the best use of them.

[A]

I want to make sure that as you're listening and watching that, you guys, that amazing piece of wisdom that Barbara just Dropped. She basically said, stop obsessing about connections because every human being you're talking to is a connection.

[B]

You've got the best one on the Internet. A connection to the whole world.

[A]

Yes, but what I love that you said is, you're like. When we were talking. I wasn't talking, I was listening. And I was interviewing them. I'm interviewing them from. How could this person help me? Are they interesting? Are they not? Are they wasting time?

[B]

I'm interviewing you now. Even though you think you're interviewing me.

[A]

Oh. What are you looking for?

[B]

I'm gonna hire you as my assistant.

[A]

I don't know if you can afford me. No, I'm just.

[B]

No, I can.

[A]

I actually. You want to know something? Yeah, I'd be a horrible assistant.

[B]

Yeah, you probably would.

[A]

No, I would be a horrible skill set at all. Not my skill set. I'm terrible.

[B]

You talk.

[A]

I can talk.

[B]

I would send you out my salesforce. You'd be number one, probably. Without a doubt.

[A]

Yeah, I would. Because I understand if you could take the heat.

[B]

It's a lot of heat in that business house. You know, you get like 10 rejections for every one. Yes. And then the most important trait you have is not feeling sorry for yourself. Or at least if you feel sorry for yourself, give yourself an hour and get back up. You know, My best salespeople had just as many leads as a worst salesperson. And the worst salesperson always kept in the house for about a week feeling sorry for themselves when they lost a good customer. My best salespeople would lose customers all the time and. And dust off and stand up and get back in the game. And that wound up dividing the people making 3, 4 million dollars a year from my average salesman at the time, who's making 60, $62,000 a year.

[A]

Yeah, I think in life there's kind of two different types of people. There's the kind of person who looks. Who gets, you know, in sales, you get dealt a hand. Cause here's your leads, here's your, like, whatever your region, you're this, you're that. And so you get handed cards. And there are people that either bitch about their cards and blame their lack of results on the cards that they're holding.

[B]

Boss isn't being fair.

[A]

Yes, Boss isn't fair. These are bad leads. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And then there are people that realize it's how you play the game. And if the cards suck, you gotta move through em fast so you can get another hand or leave or somewhere else. Yes, yes.

[B]

But you're in control. You're in control versus the boss in control. That's what fools people. People think when they're working for someone. That is their definition of their opportunity. Their real opportunity is in their own chest. They could leave that day if they chose.

[A]

You know, one other question I had. Cause I hear this a lot, especially with people to want to start a business or somebody that's trying to reinvent themselves or like I really want to do something, but trying to come up with an idea. I'm trying to think of a problem. I'm trying to think of a product that's not out there. I'm trying to. If you could give somebody advice about how to think about the idea itself, what is the way to generate ideas around a business?

[B]

To start, I think you could do anything you do in your day to day life, stop, examine everything that's happening and think, is there a better way to do this? Not just by yourself, but what other people are doing? If you're at a local store and it's taking too long to check out on the cash register, or if you're, you know, whatever you're encountering in your daily life, just look at it and say, how could I do that better? And within that are great products. All the great products that Shark Tank are better ways of doing. The same old, same old even. It's just making a pizza pie with a new pizza box. I mean, as ridiculous as it is, I invested in it because it was a better way of delivering pizza. You know that kid? That's his only idea. And that's what he ran on Shark Tank with. And that's why he's built a business just making pizza boxes. But he was trying to solve a problem better than the last guy. And that's always where you find a solution to a new business.

[A]

So, Barbara, what do you think the worst advice is that you could give somebody starting a business?

[B]

Oh, the worst advice. The same advice my mother gave me. And yet my mother usually gave me great advice. She told me when I was a waitress, when I announced I was starting my own business with Ray Simone, she said, why don't you hold onto your job? You change so often. You need a resume. Build up your resume and if you still feel that way in a year, go on to business. But you should have a good resume. She was preparing me for a mundane job. Actually, she didn't know it, but that's what she was aiming at. I ignored her and started my business. You know, it's so sad. I meet so many Entrepreneurs that plan and plan their business for months. And the best time to do is the second you have the thought. And the minute you get out in the field, you find out what's wrong with you, plan and change everything. But you don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going. And my mother did not understand that, that mantra. She thought I should wait a while. Boy, if I had waited a while, I would have thought of five reasons not to do it. But I didn't wait. I jumped right off and did the business and I was successful from the beginning.

[A]

And what would you say is like the best advice you can give to somebody that is starting a business?

[B]

Get going. I give that advice all the time, even with a half baked plan. I say get going because I know when you're in the field, you find out the real plan, what's gonna work and what's wrong with your idea and what's wrong with you and everything else that comes out. Because the real world, you can plan things. I think business plans are so overrated. My God. But to plan from afar and think, I've got to get it right before I jump out, forget it. It just never happens. You think of reasons why not to do it and you've wasted all that valuable time.

[A]

You know, one of the things you said earlier is so true and it's brilliant, which is with all the technology and the Internet today, you don't even have to truly, quote, start the business. You can create a prototype that's even built by AI. You can create a wait list.

[B]

You can.

[A]

And so somebody comes to you with an idea, they say, we've got 100,000 people that have signed up for the wait list to be notified when the product is about to drop. That wait list demonstrates that people are interested in the offering, whether it's a service or it's a product. And so that was not even possible a couple decades ago.

[B]

No, not at all. What really happens on Shark Tank is entrepreneurs will come in once in a while with nothing more than a prototype type and they'll pitch how great it's going to be. They have no proof of sales. They don't know who they're going to sell it to. They don't know what they're going to do with it, but they believe in it. And if I believe in the person, I'll buy in. Now, once they're on Shark Tank, people call in to order. They go on their line and they order thousands of copies of whatever they said. They don't even have it. But people will wait. They say, oh, I'm sorry, we've had overwhelming response. We'll have it ready in three months, months. And now that's exactly when they'll build the product. And their businesses started late, you might say, but they had the courage to get out there with the prototype or a drawing or something like that. And people believed in it. And that's a great barometer that they're going to be successful right from the get go.

[A]

Barbara, you're amazing. I could just talk to you all day, but I got to hit the pause button. We love our sponsors. I want to give them a chance to share a few words and I want you to give a chance to share Barbara's incredible wisdom and motivation and get up and go with someone in your life who's either got a business they want to launch or who needs a little inspiration. Or maybe it's somebody who's in their 50s or 60s or 70s and you can't get them motivated. I bet you Barbara can. And don't go anywhere. When we come back, we're going to talk more about how to use failure as fuel, how to stop hesitating and what to do when you're starting over and you don't even know where to begin. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. You have a lot going on. Between work, family, everything else that you got on your plate, life gets so busy. What's the first thing that slips? Your health. Not because you don't care, but because it feels like just one more thing you need to manage. That's where our sponsor AG1 comes in. AG1 is a daily health drink designed to make nutrition simple.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Well, I was hired and then fired before I had a chance.

[A]

Wait, what do you mean? Why did they fire you?

[B]

Well, they fired me because they landed on another woman. They said they preferred her after I signed the contract, which I reminded them, and they said yes, but we didn't sign it. I had already told all my friends, I'm going to Hollywood. I was so embarrassed. I bought two new outfits, new luggage there I was going to Hollywood and it was canceled. So I suggested to the producer that all my good luck came after rejection. And I considered his rejection a lucky charm. And I wrote a short, terse email to him and suggested he Invite me out with her and compete for the seat. And that's exactly what he did. Thank God.

[A]

You're kidding me.

[B]

Really? I turned my good fortune around by doing what I did best, what I always do best, getting back up, taking another swing. Just took another swing. Do you know what? The first day on Shark Tank, my producer said, you know, we rejected 42 men that wanted the position in the other seats. I said, you're kidding. He said, not one wrote to me. Not one wrote to me objecting to the rejection. These are successful millionaires, Billionaires. That's amazing that they didn't.

[A]

You know what I find interesting is so many people are not willing to ask for what they want. And that's one thing about you. You do ask for what you want.

[B]

Well, I've learned not easily. Not easily. Women have a hard time asking for anything. You know what happens? I find you could wanna climb a mountain with your team. When the men are halfway up, they'll say, I'm the king of the mountain. And they'll brag about it. Women will climb all the way up, set up the tent, make sure the kids are fed, everybody's happy, and say, I had all the help of my team to get here. Women don't take credit. They don't ask for help. They're shy. What a waste. Open your mouth. My God. Opening your mouth gets. Got me everything I got. Without opening my mouth, I would have nothing.

[A]

How many seasons have you been on church?

[B]

Eh?

[A]

Like you're One of the OGs.

[B]

Thousand. Like 18. Something. Whatever. Out from the beginning.

[A]

So I would love to have you kind of put us right at the scene. Because every single pitch is a founder. Yes. And an idea and. Yeah. You got a sales story or not?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But when you're sitting there as an investor and a judge.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What are you evaluating?

[B]

I'm just evaluating the entrepreneur. I couldn't give a damn about the picture of the business that they're painting.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Usually very often the numbers are exaggerated. Everything you know, you're getting a sales pitch. I'm looking at that entrepreneur and saying, do I believe them? And in most instances, I'm not believing the sales pitch. But now I'm looking at the person and focusing on the person as to whether they're capable. Capable entrepreneur. And what I look for is something they've done in their life that was hazardous, something they did in their life that they fail miserably. They have a father who is drinking, a mother who damned them to hell. Something they have to prove. And if I find that fire in them. They might not have anything but that, but I buy in because they will always be successful. They want to get even. They haven't had a chance. They want to get even. That burns so deep that I believe in them. And they're great partners because when the business is sold, they're so appreciative of their success, their dream come true. They're so thankful. And it's so satisfying for me to see that full circle of success.

[A]

When you are listening to a pitch. What is the difference between somebody that has that fire in their belly and they're really confident versus somebody that is so overbearing?

[B]

Well, one is, do you want to spend any time with them when someone's overbearing? That's the last thing I need in my life. They're out right away. I won't say it. I have to stay in the show. But, you know, I have a simple test. I do many times on Shark Tank when I'm not sure about the person, I think, would I put my baby in their arms and could I come back and find my baby in good shape? And that's my test. I think, yeah, I would trust them. So they become my partner.

[A]

That's actually an excellent way to judge anybody.

[B]

Well, it sizes everything up.

[A]

How do you know if you're built to have your own business versus being somebody that should just work for somebody else and be great at building a career inside somebody else's company?

[B]

I think it's a real dividing line. I think someone in their own business loves risk. They're not afraid of the risk, whether it be money, people, what they do with the day, their ideas that they have. They're not afraid of risk. It turns them on. It's kind of like a trait in their personality. And I think someone who's good in business has a good time getting back up. It's almost like a jack in the box. If you're the type that says, hit me again, I'm a jerk. Hit me again. Chances are you should be an entrepreneur. But if you're not enjoying risk and you can't take a hit, you're better off working for somebody else. It's hard to develop that skill in you if you don't have it.

[A]

I think you either have it or not.

[B]

Yeah, I do agree with you on that.

[A]

I do.

[B]

That's what I'm trying to size up on Shark Tank all the time. Do people have those two skills?

[A]

How do you figure that out?

[B]

I asked them, you know, we have an hour and a half on Shark Tank. Like really?

[A]

That's how long the pitch is.

[B]

It's eight minutes at home. But it's an hour and a half on Shark Tank in real time.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So we got a chance to ask them all kinds of questions that don't make good TV but are very good for us as investors. And I listen. What did you do before? What did you think about that? Did that fail? Oh, how did you feel about that failure? What did you do after that? So I'm trying to find someone who's strong, who's capable of running a business and someone who put all their bets on their business and they lost. What do I care? That's a good sign. They're willing to put all their bet on one business and they lost. I love it. But a guy who's telling me he's going to go back to mom PA and get family and friends financing again and he's going to change direction means they're going to lose you money again. I hate that kind of stuff. I never invest in rich kids. I always invest in poor people on Shark Tank because they have a burn in their belly and something to prove and they're my kind of people and I want to give them the opportunity that I was given. I mean the one ticket that they might, might have their dream come true and I can make it happen is much more exciting than putting myself in line with the rich parents who funded the first business. Forget it.

[A]

What are some of your favorite things that you've invested in?

[B]

My favorite entrepreneurs. And it's always about the entrepreneur. It's not the businesses. I almost forget at times what business they're in even though I'm helping them all the time. Is the cousins main lobster. I love those guys because the day they came on Shark Tank they lied to me. And I love them for the lie.

[A]

What did they lie?

[B]

They told me what the sales were per month, but they never told me. They were only in business for a week. I thought I was buying into a big business. No, I was not. It was just one little lobster truck and they had been only open one weekend. But they had taken all the questions from Shark Tank for three years and they had practiced answering them and they were slick. They could sell. I love them. And how to buy them them.

[A]

What is your three month rule?

[B]

After three months, when I close on a deal on Shark Tank, I invite the entrepreneur into my office and we review where he's going to go with the business. That's always the time when something goes wrong. The prototype didn't come in right. The order was promised, it wasn't delivered. Something goes wrong. So I just sit there and ask, what do you think about what went wrong? And the people who blame somebody else, I drop. I mean, they still have my money, but I take their picture off the wall or I turn it upside down more often. But the people who take it in the chest and take the blame, that they should have thought of this or they should have anticipated it. And I know they're going to be successful because those are the people who are always successful. The people are honest and say, I'm in charge, I should have been in charge of this, and I'm taking the blame.

[A]

I agree. Let's talk about preparation, because you and I are both people that will outwork anybody. Preparation, preparation, preparation. Why is that such an underrated habit and skill to understand that over preparing is a key to being successful?

[B]

Do you know why? I think when you over prepare, you don't realize it, but you're building your confidence. And when you build your confidence, you come across more natural, more believably, and you usually get the order. I've over prepared for everything in my life. I remember going and speaking with the Corcoran Group agents at junctures along the way where I had cold sores over both my lips because I was so nervous. Preparing for two weeks for a one

[A]

hour presentation to people who work for you?

[B]

Yes, they did. They were going to accept whatever I said, but I wanted to impress them. I wanted them to be motivated. How will I do it? Will I say it this way? That way I had to go on vacation right after as a salesman or what? I would have had a heart attack. But I over prepared so I could stand up there with confidence. And did I come across with confidence? You betcha. Did I cover all the millions of points I wanted to cover? No. Did I motivate everybody there? Yes, I did. Because I was confident. They wanted to be me.

[A]

And you were confident because you prepared. And I think it's such an important story because these are people that work for and you're not winging it. You're preparing because it matters to you and you want to do a good job.

[B]

Well, the more you know people, the more difficult it is to impress them because you take it more personally.

[A]

You know, one of the things I'm curious about is, you know, having such a big public career and being somebody who's so competitive and entrepreneurial. How have you been able to have successful romantic relationships, marriage, when you're out in the world. This is something that a lot of women navigate these days. Like, how do you balance Barbara out there in the world versus Barbara the mom and Barbara the wife?

[B]

Honestly, it's probably the largest challenge to a successful woman. Now, I married Bill in a second marriage, and he was the right husband. Bill is Bill. He's not gonna change whether he's talking to a pauper or a pope. Bill is Bill. And when I got really heady at times, he would squeeze my head in and tell me to keep it in. Don't get too confident. So I loved him for that. But the thing that worked the best out of everything I tried was getting a separate bedroom, honestly, and getting a separate bed from Bill, because I would invite him in. And it added the romance into the marriage. And that's really the best advice I could give. It's really hard to be powerful and have a man who's not emasculated. You have to pick the right guy.

[A]

So true.

[B]

You know, my. My husband Bill would call me and pretend he was a New York Times reporter if he wanted to speak with me. I so expertly separated business from home. You wouldn't dare call me while I'm working. And my kids didn't dare call me unless they were dying. And then I would hear from them. I don't think they ever died. But likewise at home, people at work would never call me at home. It's my family time. So separating the two pieces was the only way I survived. And I. I didn't do a great job of it, but I did the best job I could.

[A]

I'd love to talk a little bit more about your just insights about women and success and being successful, because there is a lot of pressure. There is bias in the workplace, but you have always seemed to just pick yourself up, shake it off, and plow forward regardless of what was going on around you. You built one of the most successful real estate businesses and a male dominated business. How do you want women to think about both the very real things that are against us in terms of the way that business is structured, but the opportunity that that creates and what kind of mindset you need to have?

[B]

Well, you know, there's always real things against you, but I did it a little differently than most. I never thought of myself as a woman. Not a single day did I think of myself as a woman. I thought of myself as a competitor. Just like a man. I was a competitor and I was gonna put you under the table, without a doubt. By the time I finished all Right. So not having that liability or thinking I was weak or had a disadvantage of some kind or another was an advantage to me.

[A]

And, you know, I'll say that when we started this podcast, I had my own goal. I'm like, okay, I wanna be the number one ranked female podcaster in the world. But what happened is a friend of mine said, said, but why female? Why not just number one? And then I was like, comment? Actually, yeah. Why am I putting myself in a category? Why am I not just saying, no, I'm gonna go out and be number one. Which I'm proud to say we were for 81 days last year. Good for you. And I just. You limit yourself in that regard. And I see so many. I was doing it to myself, doing that like, I'm only just a mom, or I'm only gonna be able to compete against women, or I'm only limited to this amount of success because I'm thinking about it in a certain way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How does thinking about you just going out and competing?

[B]

It freed me because when the boys would ignore me, I could have done two things. I could have said, oh, they're not being respectful. Cause I'm a female and there's all men in this room. That would only make me weak. I'd take my chips and go home. But when I stood there and said, you'll be sorry. I'm gonna outcompete you and I'm gonna take your bacon, that was a whole different. I conducted myself differently, I acted differently. Imagine how different it would have been if I said, treat me with disrespect. Cause I'm a woman. That's unfair. How am I gonna change that? But I'm a competitor. I have the ability to get even. And I did get even. Make it sound like a vicious thing. It's just I didn't wanna be put down or curtailed against what I. So the minute they wrote me off, boy, that fired me up.

[A]

Is that what gave you the confidence to go, to keep going? Because you. You literally started with $1,000 and built a company that you sold for what, $66 million?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's a lot of money.

[B]

Cash. I wanted the cash in my pocket.

[A]

That's a lot of cash.

[B]

Yeah. It stayed in the bank for three years. I didn't spend a dime.

[A]

Not even on a coat? No.

[B]

I already had the coats by then. I was a good co. Person.

[A]

So was it that. I'll show you. That gave you the fire and the confidence? Because I think so many people do. Don't have the to keep going.

[B]

Well, it egged me on because each look at me or each demeaning way they treated me was so insulting. I wanted to get even because I was vicious and competitive by nature. But that didn't give me the confidence to go on. The confidence that gave me was everything I tried. Even if I tried 10 things, five would be incredible and they had never thought of them. And they would look and say, how silly. Until it was working. Then they all imitated me and they were too late by the time they imitated my Corker report, which I was publishing for four years and collecting press on it and becoming the sweetheart of the New York press. They started all publishing reports. What a joke. The space was taken not by a girl, but by a competitor, myself. And that's just the way I saw myself. I chose not to see myself as a woman.

[A]

And, well, you know, as soon as I see people imitating me, that's when I know it's time to pivot.

[B]

Yes, you're absolutely right. Which is gonna happen soon.

[A]

I think it's already happening.

[B]

In fact, I'm gonna start a podcast for women only.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you what, I would love to have you be a competitor. And here's the other thing. I will teach you everything that we do because I know that even if you have the formula, you still have to do it. And it's very difficult and nobody's gonna do it the same way you do, even if they have the formula. And I find people to be be very, very stingy with sharing information. And what I've learned about business is the more generous I am with what we're doing, what's working, the big mistakes that we've made, the bigger our business is. It's not hiding things and being scarce about things. It's almost like that philosophy that there's blocks in New York City where there's lots of restaurants and they're all successful because more restaurants bring more customers for everybody.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Do you have a similar philosophy about,

[B]

you know, something happened to me as a young salesman that I never forgot. I wanted to start a marketing company. So I went in disguise with a wig on to a competitor's office which is owned by a woman, an on site marketing company for the first time owned by a woman. And I got copies of all of her forms and I actually stole them. And I went back to my office and I was fully equipped to start and go in competition. And she called me on the phone in the morning. I died. She said, I Understand? You're in my office yesterday. Come over and make an appointment. I'll show you everything. I know. She was so gracious. I was so ashamed of myself. And I realized what a mistake that was. Generous people who give it away have no threat. They know they're the best. They're always the people who give it away. So I've always been trying to be gracious, to imitate that one time experience that I had.

[A]

It's so true. I hadn't thought about the fact that when you're generous, it's because you have confidence in what you're doing. So you're not threatened by what other people are doing, doing. For somebody that's feeling like they're too old, I mean, you, you know, your mom at 46, you found the most success in your career. Well, actually in your 50, 67, like you're contin. You're not slowing down.

[B]

I hope not.

[A]

No. What gave you the courage? And how can somebody else find the courage if they're at a point where their life, where they're hearing you? Because I know a lot of daughters and sons are going to be listening to this, sending this to mom, saying, hey, Mom, 50 or 60 years old, you're not old. Get going. Listen to Barbara. Like, how do you muster up the permission or the courage to go for something when you've already always pushed yourself into a certain role, you know?

[B]

You know, I think the times where I was stopped or hesitated about trying something new, it was because I was afraid of failing. And I was afraid of, as life went on, more of a public failure. I didn't want to get out there and let everybody see me fail. And you can't help when you're scared. Scared to think you're gonna fail. It might not be real, but you think you're gonna fail. What I learned as a young woman, nobody was watching and nobody gave a damn. They admired me for trying. So all you wanna do is get the brownie points for trying, getting out there and getting going. Your kids aren't gonna love you less. Your friends aren't gonna say, oh, poor her. They're gonna admire you for it, even if you fall flat on your face. But I think you really just have to get out there. I mean, so many people just don't get out there when they have a dream and what they wanna do. Just get out there and you'll find all the answers, usually. But even if you fail, what's so bad about that? I remember I used to ask myself constantly, what happens if I fail. And I would say, well, I could always get the job as the waitress at the Fort Lee Diner again. I was happy then. That got me to do a lot of stuff in the early years because I knew I could be a waitress again. I was a great waitress. I could go back there. So I don't really think there's much to be afraid of. The worst that happens is you go home. Big deal. You're back where you were. You lost nothing, really. And if you think you lose face, you don't. People admire you for trying things. They just do. They don't hold the failure against you. You hold it against yourself, though it's so true. What a waste of time.

[A]

What a waste of a life.

[B]

What a waste of a life. Isn't that true?

[A]

Yes. What are you most excited about right now, going forward?

[B]

What I'll do for my next business. I feel like there's a next business in the offing, and I can feel it in my bones. And as usual, I don't know what it is, is, but I know it's going to show me the face. So I'm looking around every corner and I feel something good every day. Got you know that Maria song on west side Story? That's how I feel. Like something's coming. So something good. But what it is, I don't know.

[A]

Oh, I love that. As just an attitude about life.

[B]

Well, it is what life is about. There's always something around the corner if you're curious enough to take a peek. Always something around the corner. You are so cool sometimes. Talk to my husband, Bill. He wouldn't always agree with you.

[A]

Well, neither would my husband, Chris.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

If you had to distill down everything that you have shared with us today.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

And there is, like one takeaway that you think is the most important thing for the person who's been with us listening to. Just take away from this, what would it be?

[B]

Always the same. You're much more capable than you think you are. I don't care who you are, who's listening. You're more capable than you think you are. You just have to think that way and find out what it is really. I hate people wasting their life on what they're not really liking.

[A]

It's such. It's so. It makes you cry. It makes me. It's why I do this. It's really why I do this. Because I feel like the biggest thing that I'm trying to change is the discouragement that people feel that makes them never do or try Anything that makes their life better. Yes, I agree with you.

[B]

That's kind of like what I'm doing on Shark Tank. Yes. Yeah, same kind of thing.

[A]

Barbara Corcoran, what are your parting words?

[B]

I think to waste a life is such a shame. To have a dream about what you may have been, what you could be, what you didn't grab ahold of and what you regret is such a waste of time. It's just a now. And just think about how many years you have left to be the new you. The new you might say. I could never do that. Well, you're mistaken. You can do it. If I, from New Jersey, a poor kid, could become the queen of real estate. That's perfect proof that you can really become anything you want to be. Anything. There's no barrier. Nobody's in control of you but you. That's all. That sounds hokey, though, when you say that, right?

[A]

I don't think it does, no.

[B]

Okay, good. Because I do feel that way, but it sounds like, why do.

[A]

Why do you feel it sounds hokey?

[B]

Because I feel. I've heard it all before.

[A]

Horror.

[B]

And it sounds like, rah rah. I'm not doing a rah rah. I'm doing a reality check on what really is possible and what's not. And because I see it as real, it hurts me so much when people don't really accomplish it for themselves when they desire it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It just seems wrong. Just seems wrong that they should have a life that's fulfilling and have a life that's exactly the way they want it to be. And I really do believe people could just make their life what they.

[A]

I do, too. And I don't think it's hokey at all. I think it's the most important thing you could say. And the reason why is you and I have done it.

[B]

Yeah. So we have the right to say it, I guess.

[A]

And we also know how it's a matter of stepping through something that you've erected in front of your ability to just start trying and to have the clarity to say, you know what? I'm tired of the way my life feels. I want it to be like this. And I'm gonna just wake up every day and do something to walk toward that until I fricking get there.

[B]

And you're right about doing something to walk toward it. Most people find it insurmountable. Like, how could I ever get to be. It's not that it's. The first baby step is everything that counts. And the next baby step and the Next baby step, it's believing a step at a time. It just never comes overnight, you know, it never does.

[A]

And what I also love that you said over and over is you can always go back to where you were.

[B]

Are you could always go back. What's the worst that could happen? If you could do that, you can do it.

[A]

Absolutely. The worst that could happen is that you never tried.

[B]

Yeah. Barbara Corgan, thank you so much.

[A]

I love you. You're the best.

[B]

I love you back.

[A]

And I love you. I love you for making the time to listen to something that can help you see a bigger possibility for your life and help you achieve the dreams of that you have. I hope you really took to heart what Barbara said. What a waste of a life. If you just sit back and think about what you want. Take everything that you learned and get out there. Follow the rules that Barbara taught you and do it. And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you as your friend that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And it would be a waste if you didn't get out there and try to create a better life. I really hope you do. All righty. I will be waiting for you in the very next episode. I'm going to welcome you in the moment you hit play. I'll see you there.

[B]

So I know your age.

[A]

Yes, you do. How old are you?

[B]

You're 58. I'm 70. What am I? I've stopped.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

What?

[A]

What am I? 76.

[B]

6? Well, I knew I was 75. 76 around there.

[A]

Well, you look fantastic.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

And even better. You got the best attitude of anybody.

[B]

I agree with you. I have a good attitude. Thank God. I feel cold.

[A]

We can put a blanket on you.

[B]

Nah, it's just cuz I'm nervous.

[A]

You're nervous? What the. Are you nervous?

[B]

You know why? I'm not usually nervous, but my team gave you such a blowout rave on the way here, I started getting more and more nervous.

[A]

Was there enough at your age group?

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Because we're two old bitches. So, you know.

[B]

Well said. I'm interviewing you now. Even though you think you're interviewing me. Oh.

[A]

What are you looking for?

[B]

I'm going to hire you as my assistant.

[A]

I don't know if you can afford me. No, I'm just kidding.

[B]

No, I can't.

[A]

I actually. You want to know something? Yeah. I'd be a horrible assistant.

[B]

Yeah, you probably would.

[A]

No, I would be a horrible skill set at all.

[B]

I love what Mel says. I'm going to propose for it. Will you marry me? Yes. I go.

[A]

Where's my ring? Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

[B]

SiriusXM podcasts. You ever wonder how far an EV can take you on one charge? Well, most people drive about 40 miles a day, which means you can do all daily stuff no problem.

[A]

Problem.

[B]

Go to work, grab the kids at school, get the groceries and still have enough charge to visit your in laws in the next county. But they don't need to know that.

[A]

And the best part?

[B]

You won't have to buy gas at all.

[A]

The way forward is electric.

[B]

Explore EVs that fit your life at

[A]

electricforall.org Day or night, VRBoCare is here 24. 7 to help make every part of your stay seamless.

[B]

If anything comes up or you simply

[A]

need a little guidance, support is ready

[B]

whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the

[A]

moment you head home.

[B]

We're here to help things run smoothly

[A]

because a great trip starts with the right support.

[B]

And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.