The Mel Robbins Podcast
Episode: What Matters Most in Life (In Memory of Judge Frank Caprio)
Date: August 25, 2025
Host: Mel Robbins
Guest: The late Judge Frank Caprio
Overview
In this heartfelt and deeply inspiring episode, Mel Robbins pays tribute to Judge Frank Caprio, renowned as “America’s Nicest Judge,” following his passing from pancreatic cancer at age 88. Mel revisits her June 2025 interview – Judge Caprio's final long-form conversation – where he shares profound life lessons on compassion, family, kindness, regret, and legacy. Through stories about his upbringing, decades on the bench, and his personal philosophy, Judge Caprio delivers moving advice on what truly matters most at the end of life and how anyone can create a more meaningful, loving, and honorable existence.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Judge Caprio's Life Philosophy: Compassion and Lifting Others
[07:29]
- The most important lesson from 40 years on the bench and 88 years of life:
“Help other people, lift other people, particularly the unfortunate, the disabled, those in need, the hungry. It doesn't take much. Sometimes it's just a matter of being nice and putting your hand on their shoulder and telling them that you believe in them.”
— Judge Caprio [07:29] - Emphasizes “giving of yourself,” not just material help—especially for family, children, and people in crisis.
2. The Power of Kindness and Second Chances
[09:00], [10:56]
- Discusses the importance of kindness from the perspective of someone with authority:
“Some judges put a robe on and... think it gives them the ability to take certain excesses. ... I always place myself in the shoes of the person before me.”
— Judge Caprio [09:00] - Belief in second chances:
“Who doesn't need a second chance in life? ... It's the exercise of being compassionate and understanding.”
— Judge Caprio [10:56] - Learned empathy from his humble childhood and parents who valued helping others.
3. Lessons From Family and Upbringing
[12:08], [13:32], [15:41]
- Story of his immigrant father, a milkman who paid out of his own pocket for struggling families’ bills.
- Pivotal sixth-grade memory: his father’s inscription in his autograph book, encouraging him to “proceed along the road honorably... with your head held high,” and to seek education despite hardship.
- “My father was not educated, but he had the soul of a poet.” — reading from his book [16:03]
- Father's unwavering push for education and moral compass became lifelong guides.
4. Becoming a Lawyer and the Value of Encouragement
[22:28], [23:31], [24:44]
- Chose law because his father told him at age 12, “You’re a good talker. You’re going to be a lawyer someday.” This instilled self-belief and drive.
- A promise never to charge poor clients, a principle maintained throughout his legal career.
“My law office has never charged a poor family. Never. And we won't.”
— Judge Caprio [24:27] - Encourages parents to build children up with belief, not criticism.
5. Entry Into Public Service and Becoming a Judge
[27:29], [28:05]
- Won a hard-fought election to Providence City Council.
- Judicial role allowed him to balance his law practice and family:
“This judgeship was ideal for me because it's a part time judgeship, because I could never have supported five kids on a judge's salary.” [28:30]
6. Defining Moment: First Day as Judge (and the Role of Regret)
[29:15], [39:10]
- Remembers his first judgment—denying a woman with four children the removal of a boot on her car—and how his father rebuked him privately:
“He said, ‘Frank, she had four kids... are you going to deny them food?’ ... My first day on the court set the tone of my judgeship of over 30 years.”
— Judge Caprio [29:15-31:48] - From then on, always considered personal circumstances before delivering judgment.
- On regret:
“It's a lesson just I never repeated it after that. ... Every time I wanted to really bag somebody... I said, ‘You know, I can't do that. They have kids at home.’”
— Judge Caprio [39:10]
7. Practicing Compassion in Daily Life
[33:14], [34:34], [35:28]
- Simple advice for anyone seeking to be kinder:
“Place yourself in their shoes. Imagine that you were sitting there, because it could happen to all of us, you know, tomorrow.”
— Judge Caprio [33:14] - Would rather “go overboard with compassion than... punishment.”
- Believes in honoring people’s stories, being genuinely helpful—“Put them in practice.”
- “If you deserved an 8 or... a 6 in sympathy, I gave you a 10, hoping it would change your life.” [34:34]
8. Influence on a Global Audience
[39:34], [40:04], [40:46]
- Explains why his show’s viral clips and advice resonate worldwide:
“It addresses decency, it addresses honor. It addresses all of those things that families are hoping for for themselves... compassion and understanding.” [40:04]
- His best advice: “Just be honorable.” [40:46]
- Example: Dismissing tickets for a woman shot in the leg—prioritizing human hardship. [41:31]
9. Changing Lives By Believing in Others
[42:31], [43:11]
- The importance of showing children—and everyone else—that you believe in their potential:
“You can change the course of someone's life in a minute by placing your hand on their shoulder and telling them that you love them, that you believe in them, and that they will succeed if you encourage people in the gentlest way...”
— Judge Caprio [42:31] - Memorable story: asking a child on the bench if their father was guilty—“He said, guilty”—broke the seriousness with laughter, leading to compassion in judgment. [43:11-44:46]
10. Love, Marriage, and Family
[45:04], [45:17], [46:07]
- 60 years married to Joyce, five children—secret is “give and take,” no “boss” in marriage.
“Whatever she wants, she gets.” — Judge Caprio [46:07]
- Emphasizes kindness and mutual understanding at home.
11. Facing Mortality and Illness with Dignity
[46:35], [48:18], [48:45]
- Discusses his pancreatic cancer diagnosis candidly:
“It teaches you to stay close to the people you love... try to set an example of strength for those around you. ... I know how I'm going to die. ... I'm not giving up. There's one thing I never did in life was give up and I’m certainly not giving up now.”
— Judge Caprio [46:35-48:31] - Practical advice: “Listen to your medical providers... Rely on expert medical advice.” [48:45]
12. Defining a Good Life
[49:49], [50:17], [51:03], [51:12]
- What makes for a good life:
“A good life is being a good family man, good family person and having good friends. That's all there is to life.”
— Judge Caprio [49:53] - Takes joy in travel and, most of all, helping others:
“Being in the service to others is what gives you a happy life.” [51:12]
- Encourages the elderly and retirees to remain active and of service in the community. [51:31]
13. Legacy and Hope in a Challenging World
[52:42], [54:05], [54:47], [55:10]
- Reflects on his father's example, hopes his own children follow the same values.
- Surprised by his global impact:
“I am amazed at the impact... the world is not full of compassion or understanding. ... Congratulations, thank you, we need more people who take into consideration the plight of others. It's very rewarding.”
— Judge Caprio [54:05] - How to keep hope alive:
“First priority... is my religion. I'm a practicing Catholic, and I’m a very strong believer in the power of prayer.”
— Judge Caprio [55:10]
14. Judge Caprio's Final Words of Advice & Legacy
[55:50]
- Parting words:
“My parting words are that we are not in this world alone, that we have to rely on each other, and that we should show understanding and compassion toward others and help them in their time of need.”
— Judge Caprio [55:50] - Mel’s closing takeaway:
“Purpose is not what you do, it’s how you do it. ... How we treat other people is absolutely everything.”
— Mel Robbins [56:27]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
“Help other people ... It's not always giving. It's just giving of yourself.”
— Judge Caprio [07:29] -
“Who doesn't need a second chance in life?... I just put myself in the shoes of the person before me.”
— Judge Caprio [10:56] -
“You can change the course of someone’s life right in a minute by placing your hand on their shoulder and telling them that you love them, that you believe in them..."
— Judge Caprio [42:31] -
“A good life is being a good family man, good family person and having good friends. That’s all there is to life.”
— Judge Caprio [49:53] -
“I'd rather go overboard with compassion than go overboard with punishment.”
— Judge Caprio [33:51] -
“I'm not giving up. There’s one thing I never did in life was give up and I'm certainly not giving up now.”
— Judge Caprio [48:31] -
“My parting words are that we are not in this world alone... show understanding and compassion toward others and help them in their time of need.”
— Judge Caprio [55:50] -
“Purpose is not what you do, it’s how you do it.”
— Mel Robbins [56:27]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [07:29] – Judge Caprio’s core lesson: Help and lift others.
- [10:56] – On the necessity and universality of second chances.
- [13:32] – Story of his father’s powerful graduation message.
- [22:28] – Father’s encouragement led to a career in law.
- [29:15] – Regret and lessons from his first day as a judge.
- [33:14] – Practical advice: Compassion as placing yourself in others’ shoes.
- [42:31] – The transformative power of encouragement.
- [46:35] – Facing terminal illness with grace and resolve.
- [49:53] – Defining what makes a good life.
- [55:50] – Final, universal advice: We must care for and help one another.
Tone and Atmosphere
The episode is warm, reflective, and brimming with humility and gratitude. Judge Caprio’s stories are moving, sometimes laced with gentle humor, and always practical. Mel Robbins maintains a sense of reverence and deep appreciation, drawing out lessons meant to empower and uplift listeners no matter where they are in life.
Final Thoughts
This conversation serves not only as an in memoriam to a singular American figure, but as a timeless guide on how to live with honor, compassion, resilience, and love. Judge Caprio’s legacy, as Mel puts it, is a reminder that how we treat others—and how we lift them up—will define the quality and meaning of our own lives.
If you listen to just one thing from this podcast, let it be this: You are not alone. Kindness, compassion, and service are the cornerstones of a good life. Pass it on.