Podcast
The Mental Health Janitors
Hosted by Aaron Quinonez and Jessica Burgans · EN
We help you clean up the mess in your head. Aaron and Jess help navigate through the wonderful and sometimes scary world of therapy to educate you, empower you, and encourage you through your difficult times. Join Us Today!
46episodes
Episodes
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When Your Family Turns Against Your Spouse... What Should You Do?
2w ago00:32:20Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailWhat do entitled children, family conflict, and marriage have in common? More than you might think.In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess begin with a viral video that sparks a powerful conversation about entitlement, mob mentality, parenting, and the importance of teaching consequences. But the discussion quickly takes a deeper turn with a viral Reddit story about a husband forced to choose between his family and his wife.Together, they explore how childhood environments shape adult relationships, why unresolved resentment can divide families, and how healthy boundaries, accountability, and emotional maturity are essential for protecting both your marriage and your mental health.When family members criticize your spouse or expect you to choose sides, what is the healthiest response? Should you fight for reconciliation, or is creating distance the better path? This episode tackles those difficult questions with practical insight, compassion, and honest conversation.If you've ever struggled with family conflict, questioned where your loyalty belongs, or wondered whether reconciliation is always the right answer, this conversation is for you.🎧 Tune in to discover how setting healthy boundaries, communicating with emotional maturity, and taking personal responsibility can strengthen your relationships and protect your mental health.Episode Highlights• 00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors• 00:18 When Family Pits You Against Your Spouse• 02:20 Mob Mentality, Entitlement, and Why Group Behavior Matters• 13:20 Raising Children Who Understand Consequences and Accountability• 19:16 The Reddit Story That Started the Conversation• 21:10 A Birthday Invitation That Divided an Entire Family• 26:05 Should Your Spouse Always Come First?• 31:10 Should You Fight for Reconciliation or Walk Away?• 34:40 Is the Relationship Worth Saving?Join the ConversationBe part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, relationships, emotional intelligence, family dynamics, healthy boundaries, trauma, and personal growth.🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez:Website: https://sgtq.net/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/Support the show
Transcribe →Stop Expecting People to Read Your Mind: The Expectations Trap
3w ago00:36:47Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailHave you ever built a whole scenario in your mind about how something was supposed to go, only to feel crushed when reality looked completely different?In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Mrs. Q explore one of the biggest hidden causes of conflict in relationships. Unspoken expectations.Using a relatable Reddit story about a wife returning home after caring for an ill parent, they unpack why so many couples unknowingly expect their partners to read their minds, how assumptions create resentment, and why communication is the foundation of emotional safety.Before diving into relationships, Sgt. Q also shares the explosive Bricks & Minifigs controversy, examining business integrity, leadership accountability, franchise responsibility, and how social media has become one of the most powerful tools for exposing unethical behavior.Whether you're married, dating, leading a business, or simply trying to build healthier relationships, this episode will challenge how you think about expectations, communication, and personal responsibility.🎧 Tune in to learn why disappointment often begins long before conflict ever starts, and how changing one communication habit can transform every relationship you have.Episode Highlights00:00 Why We Create Expectations That Never Become Reality00:33 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors01:07 The Bricks & Minifigs Story Explained04:53 How Social Media Exposed a Business Scandal09:49 Business Integrity and Franchise Leadership15:17 Why Reputation Is Every Business Owner's Greatest Asset21:47 Reddit Story. My Husband Didn't Miss Me27:42 Expectations Versus Reality in Marriage29:49 Common Sense Isn't Common Sense34:06 The Therapy Advice That Changed Their Marriage35:43 Communication Beats Assumptions Every TimeJoin the ConversationBe part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, relationships, emotional intelligence, communication, trauma, leadership, and personal growth.🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" QuinonezWebsite: https://sgtq.net/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Become a Giant Slayer https://giantslayerworkshop.com/get-your-ebookSupport the show
Transcribe →The Biggest Relationship Red Flag? Not Showing Up When It Matters
Jul 800:39:41Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailWhat does it really mean to show up for someone you love?In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess unpack a viral Reddit story that sparks a much bigger conversation about healthy relationships, accountability, childhood trauma, and emotional maturity.When one partner chooses a night out over showing up during a medical emergency, it raises difficult questions. Is this simply a mistake, or does it reveal something deeper about priorities, trust, and commitment? And when someone hurts the people they love, can childhood trauma explain their behavior without excusing it?From relationship red flags and self awareness to narcissistic traits rooted in unresolved trauma, this episode challenges listeners to look beyond excuses and ask one of the hardest questions of all. Am I taking responsibility for the way I treat others?If you've ever questioned a relationship, struggled with accountability, or wondered how your past influences your present, this conversation is for you.🎧 Tune in to explore why accountability is one of the hardest parts of healing, and how taking ownership can change the way you show up for the people who matter most. Episode Highlights: 00:00 Welcome to Mental Health Janitors 03:18 Pastor Tony and Protecting Your Family 19:12 The Reddit Story That Started the Conversation 27:45 What It Means to Show Up in a Crisis 41:26 Accountability or Excuses? 53:08 Can Childhood Trauma Lead to Narcissistic Traits? 59:48 Why Healing Requires Honest Self ReflectionJoin the ConversationBe part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, relationships, emotional intelligence, trauma, and personal responsibility.🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez:Website: https://sgtq.net/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/Support the show
Transcribe →The Relationship Red Flag Every Parent Should Know
Jun 3000:30:00Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailWould you step in if helping someone you love created even more conflict? In this episode of Mental Health Janitors, Sgt Q and Doc Jess unpack a viral Reddit story that sparks a much bigger conversation about parenting, family boundaries, responsibility, and emotional maturity.When a father repairs his adult daughter's unsafe car after her boyfriend fails to follow through, one simple act of love raises difficult questions. When should parents step in? Where do healthy boundaries begin? And how do pride and ego influence the way we respond?From family dynamics and healthy relationships to accountability and emotional intelligence, this episode explores what it truly means to protect the people you love without losing sight of respect and responsibility.If you've ever struggled with family boundaries, wondered when to step in, or questioned what real responsibility looks like, this conversation is for you.🎧 Tune in to discover why this story is about far more than fixing a car, and how the lessons behind it can strengthen families and relationships.Episode Highlights:00:00 Welcome to Mental Health Janitors03:26 Seeing America Through a Different Perspective14:03 The Reddit Story That Started the Conversation19:44 Did Dad Cross the Line?23:11 Responsibility vs Pride31:58 Parenting Through Difficult Decisions36:31 Educate, Empower, and EncourageJoin the ConversationBe part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, relationships, emotional intelligence, trauma, and personal responsibility.🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez:Website: https://sgtq.net/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/Support the show
Transcribe →The Quiet Damage of Pride in Relationships, Parenting, and Communication
Jun 2300:29:22Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailWhy is it so hard to admit we're wrong? 💭In this episode of Mental Health Janitors, Sgt Q and Doc Jess unpack a viral Reddit story that sparks a much bigger conversation about pride, accountability, parenting, and emotional growth.What happens when we're confronted with undeniable proof that we made a mistake? Why do so many people become defensive instead of taking ownership? And what lessons do our children learn when they never see us apologize?From family dynamics and relationship conflict to trauma responses and emotional intelligence, this episode explores the hidden cost of letting pride take the driver's seat.If you've ever struggled to say "I was wrong," found yourself explaining instead of apologizing, or wondered why accountability feels so uncomfortable, this conversation is for you.🎧 Tune in to learn how genuine apologies build trust, why ownership matters more than excuses, and how small moments of accountability can transform relationships.Episode Highlights:00:00 Welcome to Mental Health Janitors03:12 The Reddit Story That Started the Conversation08:45 Why Pride Makes Accountability So Difficult13:20 Should Parents Apologize to Their Kids?18:34 Explanations vs Excuses24:10 Trauma Responses and Emotional Reactions29:47 The Power of a Simple Apology35:18 How Accountability Strengthens Relationships40:05 Taking Ownership and Moving ForwardJoin the ConversationBe part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, relationships, emotional intelligence, trauma, and personal responsibility.🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez:Website: https://sgtq.net/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/Support the show
Transcribe →Are You Showing Up or Just Showing Off? The Truth About Ego in Relationships
Jun 1600:22:36Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailMost relationships don’t fall apart because of big dramatic events. They fall apart in small moments where ego shows up, priorities get misaligned, and one person stops considering the experience of the other.In this powerful episode of Mental Health Janitors, Sgt Q and Dr Jess break down a viral Reddit story that starts with a simple date night, Bruno Mars tickets, a planned dinner, and a special evening together, but quickly spirals into conflict over something as small as a steak.What unfolds is a deeper conversation about emotional intelligence, selfish decision making, and what it really means to create shared experiences in a relationship. They explore how stress, excuses, and personal comfort can quietly override connection, and why “good intentions” are not enough when your actions tell a different story.From ego-driven decisions to emotional memory and relationship damage, this episode reveals how one moment of self-focus can undo an entire experience you thought you were building together.If you’ve ever wondered why small disagreements turn into big disconnects in relationships, this conversation will make you rethink how you show up for the people you care about.🎧 Tune in now. It’s not about the steak or the concert it’s about what happens when you stop making it about “us” and start making it about “me.”Episode Highlights:00:00 - Welcome to Mental Health Janitors02:36 - The “Concert vs Steak” Reddit Story Begins05:01 - When Excuses Show Up in Relationships06:35 - “Why does she even care about the opener?”08:58 - How Personal Comfort Overrides Shared Experience11:21 - Emotional Connection & Neuro Pathways in Relationships13:20 - The Power of Negative Emotional Memory15:07 - Accountability vs Justifying Behavior17:11 - Why Intentions Don’t Matter Without ActionJoin the ConversationBe part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, relationships, emotional intelligence, trauma, and personal responsibility.🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez:Website: https://sgtq.net/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/Support the show
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The Marriage Mirror: Why Changing Yourself Changes Your Relationship
Jun 1200:21:46Tap to summarizeSend us Fan Mail🎁 Free Resource from Doc JessIf this conversation resonates with you and you want practical tools to strengthen your marriage by focusing on personal growth first, Doc Jess is offering a free marriage assessment and relationship resource to help you identify areas for growth and build a stronger foundation.👉 Get started here:https://firstonesfree.com/If you feel stuck in the same arguments, frustrated with your spouse, or wondering why your relationship keeps running into the same challenges, this episode is for you.In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez sits down with Doc Jess to discuss one of the most overlooked truths about healthy relationships. The strongest marriages are often built when each person focuses on improving themselves before trying to fix their spouse.Drawing from personal experience, counseling practice, military life, and marriage research, they explore why self-reflection creates lasting change, how unresolved pain affects communication, and why assumptions often create conflict where none exists.You will learn how past experiences shape the way you interpret your spouse's actions, why your brain naturally tries to protect you from emotional pain, and how that protection can sometimes damage connection. Doc Jess also shares her practical 24-48-72 Hour Tool for responding thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally.This episode explores the importance of personal accountability, emotional awareness, healthy communication, and creating space for growth within marriage.The goal is not to change your spouse.The goal is to become the healthiest version of yourself.Watch if you are searching forHow to improve your marriageHow to stop arguing with your spouseChristian marriage adviceMarriage communication tipsHow to build a stronger relationshipHow to work on yourself firstBe part of our online family where faith meets mental health, and honest conversations turn struggles into growth.Find practical strategies, real testimonies, and truth that doesn't flinch.🔗 Join our community:https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website:https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez:Facebook –https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn –https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitytvstarpodcaster/Instagram –https://www.instagram.com/sgt.q_/Disclaimer: Educational only. Not medical, psychological, or relationship counseling advice.Support the show
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How to Reinvent Yourself and Build Confidence (Overcome Identity Crisis)
Jun 300:21:29Tap to summarizeSend us Fan Mail🎁 Free Resource from EstynIf this episode resonated with you and you want to understand where you are in your life right now, Estyn shares a simple tool to help you evaluate different areas of your life and see where you need to focus next.👉 Get started here: https://firstonesfree.com/If you feel stuck in who you are, struggle with confidence, or feel like you have lost your sense of identity, this episode is for you.In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez sits down with Estyn Elan, a style image consultant, to break down how identity, self image, and confidence are shaped and how you can rebuild them with intention.You will learn how many people go through identity shifts during life transitions like becoming a parent, moving to a new environment, or going through major life changes, and why these moments often lead to confusion, low self esteem, and feeling disconnected from yourself.This episode also explores how self mastery starts with understanding who you are beyond roles and expectations, and how your appearance, communication, and daily habits all play a role in how you show up in the world.You will learn a simple system to evaluate your life, identify where you feel out of alignment, and begin rebuilding your confidence from the inside out.The goal is not to become someone else, but to fully step into who you are meant to be.Watch if you are searching forHow to build confidenceHow to reinvent yourselfIdentity crisis helpHow to improve self imagePersonal growth and self developmentTimestamps00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors01:00 Growing Up with Limited Perspective02:30 Expanding Identity Through Travel04:00 Identity Crisis as a New Mom06:00 Why Most People Struggle with Self Esteem08:00 Self Mastery and Finding Your True Identity10:00 How Self Image Affects Confidence12:30 The 7 Step System for Personal Transformation16:00 The Compass of Life Direction Tool19:00 Real Life Transformation Stories and Next StepsBe part of our online family where faith meets mental health, and honest conversations with your spouse turn struggles into growth.Find practical strategies, real testimonies, and truth that doesn’t flinch.🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez:Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitytvstarpodcaster/Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/sgt.q_/Disclaimer: Educational only; not medical advice.Support the show
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The Trauma Lens: How Past Wounds Affect Your Marriage
Jun 200:28:01Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailMost marriages don't suffer because of communication problems. They suffer because of unresolved wounds, unchecked emotions, unrealistic expectations, and baggage that never got dealt with.In this powerful episode of Mental Health Janitors, Sgt Q and Doc Jess tackle the hard truths about marriage, emotional healing, faith, trauma, and personal responsibility. They break down why lasting change doesn't happen when you focus on fixing your spouse—it happens when you confront what needs to change within yourself.From PTSD and emotional triggers to limiting beliefs, mindset, and relationship growth, this conversation delivers practical wisdom, real-life experience, and actionable tools to help you build stronger relationships and a stronger life.If you're tired of the same arguments, the same frustrations, and the same cycles repeating themselves, this episode will challenge the way you think about marriage and personal growth.🎧 Tune in now. Stop waiting for someone else to change. Start doing the work that changes everything.Episode Highlights:00:00 - Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors07:26 - The Lies You Believe Are Holding You Back09:12 - When Performance Becomes Your Identity14:19 - Most People Talk Too Much About Themselves15:07 - How to Destroy Imposter Syndrome17:11 - Slay the Giant in Front of You20:40 - Stop Letting Your Thoughts Control You23:51 - Master Your Emotions Before They Master YouBe part of a growing community having real conversations about veteran mental health, PTSD, trauma, faith, resilience, and healing. Find support, purpose, and practical tools to move forward. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez:Website- https://sgtq.net/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitytvstarpodcaster/Support the show
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How to Reinvent Yourself and Build Confidence (Overcome Identity Crisis)
May 2900:21:29Tap to summarizeSend us Fan Mail🎁 Free Resource from EstynIf this episode resonated with you and you want to understand where you are in your life right now, Estyn shares a simple tool to help you evaluate different areas of your life and see where you need to focus next.👉 Get started here: https://firstonesfree.com/If you feel stuck in who you are, struggle with confidence, or feel like you have lost your sense of identity, this episode is for you.In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez sits down with Estyn Elan, a style image consultant, to break down how identity, self image, and confidence are shaped and how you can rebuild them with intention.You will learn how many people go through identity shifts during life transitions like becoming a parent, moving to a new environment, or going through major life changes, and why these moments often lead to confusion, low self esteem, and feeling disconnected from yourself.This episode also explores how self mastery starts with understanding who you are beyond roles and expectations, and how your appearance, communication, and daily habits all play a role in how you show up in the world.You will learn a simple system to evaluate your life, identify where you feel out of alignment, and begin rebuilding your confidence from the inside out.The goal is not to become someone else, but to fully step into who you are meant to be.Watch if you are searching forHow to build confidenceHow to reinvent yourselfIdentity crisis helpHow to improve self imagePersonal growth and self developmentTimestamps00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors01:00 Growing Up with Limited Perspective02:30 Expanding Identity Through Travel04:00 Identity Crisis as a New Mom06:00 Why Most People Struggle with Self Esteem08:00 Self Mastery and Finding Your True Identity10:00 How Self Image Affects Confidence12:30 The 7 Step System for Personal Transformation16:00 The Compass of Life Direction Tool19:00 Real Life Transformation Stories and Next StepsBe part of our online family where faith meets mental health, and honest conversations with your spouse turn struggles into growth.Find practical strategies, real testimonies, and truth that doesn’t flinch.🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/Listen on:🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/Connect with Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez:Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitytvstarpodcaster/Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/sgt.q_/Disclaimer: Educational only; not medical advice.#selfimprovement #inspiration #confidence #selfconfidence #selfesteemSupport the show
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