Noël Ellie joins Gavin Meenan on Modern Warrior and shares the “initiations” that shaped her—her mother’s stage four cancer journey, her own diagnoses (fibroid tumors, Lyme disease, mold toxicity), and the unraveling of an 18-year marriage that became a divorce. They discuss self-abandonment, learning to listen to the body and intuition, “being seen” in relationships, why fixing isn’t the same as holding space, and how anger can be expressed with an open heart. Noël also speaks about dating after divorce, values check-ins, integrity as a mirror, and her view on manifestation, including mirror work and affirmations.

Show notes

Noël’s Ireland trip: co-hosting Sacred Sisters with Caulifs of Moore; time spent in Galway, Dublin, and Scotland
Noel
The “initiations” Noël describes:
- Her mother’s stage four metastatic cancer and a five-year journey beyond an initial three-month prognosis
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- Noël’s healing journey: over 13 fibroid tumors, Lyme disease, and mold toxicity
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“We’re only as sick as our secrets”: honesty, infidelity, and the removal of secrecy in marriage
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Surgery, plans for a baby, and “giving birth to a divorce”
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Self-abandonment, image-holding, and not knowing what she was “allowed” to want or say
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Eating disorder history and generational patterns
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Parts work / Internal Family Systems and tending younger wounds
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Dating after 18 years and discovering attachment dynamics
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Vulnerability on social media, oversharing, and courage in real-life conversations
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Sensuality, grief, triggers, and projection
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“Guru culture is dead” and teachers being human
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What it means to be “seen” without fixing
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Polarity, containment, and expressing anger with consent and presence
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Growth, values check-ins, and fear of outgrowing a partner
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Separation, dysregulation, compounding life events, and hindsight reflections
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Manifestation, belief, mirror work, and affirmations
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Where to find Noël: Instagram Noël_Ellie, sacredsistersretreats.com, and upcoming class “Alchemizing Anger”
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Memorable quotes

“I’ve been through many, many, many initiations throughout my life.”
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“You have to be your own advocate for your body.”
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“We’re only as sick as our secrets.”
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“My womb literally said, he cheated on you.”
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“Instead of giving birth to a baby, we gave birth to a divorce.”
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“I choose to live an authentic, radiant, liberated life.”
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“May the cycle of suffering end with me?”
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“Dating is the wild wild West when you haven’t dated in 18 years.”
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“Guru culture is dead.”
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“Intimacy, true intimacy, is into me see.”
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“You can say anything to me, as long as it’s rooted in love.”
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“Love is truth. What is truth? Authenticity.”
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“What if it doesn’t end? What if you get closer?”
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“I will never, ever, ever accept breadcrumbs when I give a feast.”
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“We will see it when we believe it.”
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“There’s power of life and death in the tongue.”
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“It is done.”
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“You are glowing. What are you doing?”
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