The Musers The Podcast – Episode 38: Gordo's Corner!!! Anal Glands
Release Date: April 8, 2026
Hosts: George Dunham, Craig “Junior” Miller, Gordon “Gordo” Keith
Podcast Network: Cumulus Podcast Network
Episode Overview
This episode is a classic Musers blend: absurd animal stories, listener mails about pets and music, hilarious debates, and irreverent but strangely insightful medical news. Gordo takes the lead in what he predicts will be “the most life changing episode” (00:23). The show kicks off with a wild listener story about a dog's anal glands (hence the episode title), spins through debates on 70s vs. 80s music, detours into tortoise longevity and rat birth control, and wraps up with trademark Musers hypotheticals.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Letter of the Week: Anal Glands Take Center Stage
[00:46–04:51]
- Debbie, a listener, shares a tale about her rescue dog Otis displaying his anal glands during a family milestone.
- The story triggers a discussion on why animals have anal glands, with the Musers consulting (unreliably) with “AI” for answers.
- Gordon wonders: “Why do dogs have anal glands? Like, what’s the purpose of that?” (04:11)
- Craig digs up: “Anal glands are found in many mammals, including dogs, cats, skunks, beavers and many primates, including humans.” (04:51)
- Gordo, in disbelief: “Humans don’t have them. You reported misinformation there, by the way.” (05:24)
- The laughter and confusion underscore the Musers' talent for making the gross both funny and oddly informative.
2. Merchandise Requests and Self-Deprecation
[06:01–07:24]
- Listener Chris asks about Muser podcast merch; George is “put in charge.”
- Hilarious running joke about the guys’ poor history of selling merch:
- George: “Everything my band does loses money, okay.” (07:13)
- Gordo: “The first art of self-promotion is don’t lead with the negative stuff.” (07:19)
3. Music Decade Debate: 70s vs. 80s (and Beyond)
[07:24–16:59]
- Listener Chip’s email proclaims the 70s are more musically diverse than the 80s, listing innovations: “the singer-songwriter movement, punk, disco, outlaw country, metal, arena rock, glam, Americana, new wave, goth, reggae, funk, electronica, power pop, yacht rock.”
- Gordo enthusiastically: “That’s pretty diverse.” (11:35)
- George reflects on why he used to resist 70s music: “Rock was pretty stale in the 70s… I think that music and those things you listed really thrived in the 80s.” (11:35)
- The group recognizes that many 80s trends started in the 70s.
- AI says the best music decade fight is between the 70s and 90s, not the 70s and 80s.
- Memorable moment: Craig, tongue-in-cheek, credits the 90s’ rise in cred to “the last stand before the internet scooped out our brains.” (13:49)
4. Band Names, Image, and the Fixation on Seriousness
[17:01–24:02]
- The Musers reminisce about their own band names (George: “Pegasus—gayest high school band name ever.” [17:17])
- Discussion of why bands try to look so serious in photos.
- Craig: “Bands like to pretend that sound checks take an hour, but it’s for the show.” (20:01)
- Gordo wryly notes the absurdity of guitarists switching instruments for every song, contrasted with bassists’ simplicity.
5. Long-Lived Tortoises & Animal News
[26:27–34:21]
- April 1st prank about Jonathan the 193-year-old tortoise sparked public panic—he’s still alive.
- Gordo discusses his own Russian tortoise’s health, the oddities of tortoise lifespans.
- Pat Murphy, Brewers manager, is spotlighted for wacky “pocket pancake” and “pocket tortoise” antics. Gordo: “The only worst food to keep in your pocket would be soup.” (31:26)
- The Brewers now have a rally tortoise in their clubhouse (33:18).
6. Animal Rights, Rat Birth Control & the Food Chain
[34:21–41:10]
- Peru gives legal rights to insects; bees can sue in court. The guys riff on what it’s like to be an insect lawyer (34:59).
- Washington D.C. employs birth control for rats; the guys joke about “how D.C. officials are getting these condoms on rats” (39:41).
- Craig’s hot take: “I don’t believe in the food chain.” (37:44) – He argues ecosystems will adapt if annoying species disappear, with comedic pushback from the others.
7. Wheels Off Story: Chicken Coop Stabbing
[42:17–47:46]
- West Virginia story: Father and daughter living in a chicken coop, fending off a break-in that ends in a stabbing.
- The situation snowballs into increasingly ridiculous puns (“egg on her face”) and existential commentary:
- George: “We are such a train wreck right now as a society.” (46:11)
- Gordo: “Police would much rather respond to a chicken coop family than a triple shooting.” (47:04)
8. Medical News: Ejaculation & Prostate Cancer
[48:03–54:57]
- “F Cancer” non-profit promotes frequent ejaculation for prostate health. Discussed with the usual Musers’ lack of propriety:
- Craig deadpan: “You can have as many orgasms as you can possibly muster in a week, or a day, or an hour. The more, the healthier your prostate.” (48:03)
- George is unimpressed: “This is not new information. This was out there like 20 years ago.” (49:30)
- Gordon: “They say, though, that if you do not hit—like, it’s not a magical number, so you should at least try to increase your frequency…” (52:46)
- More stats on prostate cancer prevalence, personal anecdotes about friends and early exams.
9. Hypotheticals: Would You for a Million Dollars…?
[54:57–59:30]
- Would you rather get along perfectly—even with Nazis—or get $1M/year but have to “low grade argue with everyone”?
- Both George and Craig decline the arguing option.
- Would you sign up for $1M/yr if you could never turn left (not even walking)?
- Craig: “If you included the walking thing… no way.” (58:02)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On dogs’ anal glands:
“Otis… decided to express his anal glands right in front of everyone. The most foul stench starts permeating the living room… I could not stop laughing. It was the most awkward situation.” – Letter from listener Debbie (02:17)
- On food chain skepticism:
“I don’t believe in the food chain... We have lost hundreds and hundreds of species… and here we are, and we still have things eating other things, and we’re kind of all getting along.” – Craig (37:44)
- On prostate health research:
“According to research, those who ejaculate 21 or more times per month had up to a 22% lower risk of prostate cancer than those who ejaculated less.” – Gordo (52:26)
- On band seriousness:
“U2 started it. They started the ‘here we are in a landscape and we’re just so… contemplative, we can’t even engage with the camera.’” – Gordo (19:03)
- On human absurdity:
“We are such a train wreck right now as a society.” – George (46:11)
Timestamps for Notable Segments
- 00:46–04:51: Letter of the Week – Otis the dog and anal glands
- 07:24–16:59: Music debate: 70s vs. 80s (Chip’s email, AI weighs in)
- 17:01–24:02: Band names & image; band banter
- 26:27–34:21: Animal news: Jonathan the tortoise, “pocket pancakes,” rally tortoise
- 34:21–41:10: Insect rights in Peru, rat birth control, food chain “hot take”
- 42:17–47:46: Wheels off story: chicken coop stabbing
- 48:03–54:57: Medical news – prostate cancer & the case for (frequent) ejaculation
- 54:57–59:30: Hypotheticals: Arguing for money & the left turn challenge
Episode Tone & Takeaways
The Musers deliver their trademark: a mix of infectious irreverence, left-field digressions, heartfelt moments (especially when talking about pets), and sharp-witted banter. Even as they cycle through absurd topics (anal glands… insect lawyers… chicken coop stabbings…) the trio’s chemistry and genuine friendship make for a show that’s insightful, unpredictable, and always a blast.
For fans new and old, Episode 38 is pure Musers: crude, clever, and never too far from the next surreal tangent.
