Gordo's Corner - Episode 44

Summary

The Musers The Podcast

Episode 44: Gordo's Corner

Date: May 20, 2026
Hosts: George Dunham, Craig “Junior” Miller, Gordon Keith

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Overview

Episode 44 of The Musers The Podcast dives into their signature blend of absurdist humor, offbeat hypotheticals, and surprisingly thoughtful banter. This week features everything from mind-bending statistics about card decks and chess games, lively debates on hypothetical scenarios (such as dying for a million bucks or time-traveling with modern weapons), and a deep, hilarious breakdown of modern airline etiquette. The trio also tackles the viral story of a humanoid robot flying out of Dallas and wraps with the most bizarre medical story involving pig semen eye drops.

The chemistry between George, Junior, and Gordo is as sharp as ever: they volley between earnest, insightful takes and comedic riffs, embodying the "weird and wonderful" rhythm that's become their hallmark.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Episode Kick-off: Presidential Numbers & Upcoming Live Show

• The guys note they've reached episode 44, joking about the number’s significance (“George Gervin, the Iceman!” – 00:48).
• Playful confusion about the number of US presidents (Trump and Taft mistaken as both serving non-consecutive terms).
• Upcoming Event: A live filmed episode at The Kessler in Dallas (01:39).

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2. Scale, Money, and the Astonishing Numbers Game

• Gordo's Knowledge Bomb: The difference between a million and a billion—"A million seconds ago was 11.5 days ago; a billion seconds ago was 31.7 years ago." (02:27)
  • Notable Quote:

    “When you think of a millionaire and a billionaire, how much more is a billion?”
    — Gordo (02:44)

• Discussion on how lifestyle inflation ruins retirement plans; even multi-millionaires can blow through fortunes quickly.
• Craig: “If you have $2 million, you probably could be set for life if you lived a very spartan lifestyle.” (03:23)
• Spending as patriotic duty: “We Americans... we love to spend. That's what keeps the economy going. It's patriotic for you to run out of that $2 million.” – Gordo (03:34)

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3. Improbable Odds: Cards, Chess, and the Unique Game

• Deck of Cards: Mind-blowing stats about shuffling 52 cards (05:12)
  • Gordo: “The odds of you ever shuffling a deck into the exact same order twice are zero. Essentially zero.”
  • After seven shuffles, you likely have a never-seen-before order.
• Card Tricks and Magic: The mechanics behind card tricks and how learning the method ruins the mystery (06:03–06:56).
  • Gordo: “Learning the tricks of magic defeats the magic itself.” (06:46)
  • Junior: “There are two types of people in the world—those who want to know how it works, and those who enjoy the wonder.” (06:50)
• Chess: The near-infinite possibilities of chess games.
  • “They say there are about 10 to the 120th power possible chess games.” – Craig (08:51)

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4. Letter of the Week & Hypotheticals

Would You Die Once a Year For a Million Dollars?

• Listener's Hypothetical: Would you be willing to die once a year (experiencing the full pain, never the same way twice) for $1 million/year, with a minimum five-year commitment? (11:15)
  • Reactions:
    • All agree: too horrifying, not worth it.
    • Craig: “Scarred forever. Mentally.” (14:21)
    • Gordo (contrarian): “I think I would do it for a million dollars a year. I would do it for the minimum... five years.” (14:35)

What Battle Would You Join With a Modern Weapon?

• Which historic battle would you enter with one modern handheld weapon? (15:05)
  • Craig jokes: He’d bring a sword to the Revolutionary War.
  • Machismo/ethics debate about using a machine gun at the Alamo or other events.
  • George (reflecting): “No war is terrible. It’s not some video game. It’s awful. No, I couldn’t do that.” (18:07)
  • Gordo highlights peril of going too far back in history (lack of penicillin, etc.) (16:48)
• Sci-fi digression—Craig dreamed as a child of taking a Star Trek phaser.

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5. News: The Robot on the Plane & Air Travel Etiquette

Humanoid Robot “Stewie” Flies on Southwest (21:32)

• A humanoid robot flown out of Love Field, Dallas—"Stewie" accompanied by his creator.
• Southwest strictly updates policy: “Southwest Airlines does not allow human-like or animal-like robots to be transported in the cabin or as checked baggage...” (26:09)
• Craig’s prediction: “Ten years from now... you'll see this a lot. People will be going to hotels with their family robot that is basically their nanny.” (25:03)
• Ethics and practical issues debated; George is unimpressed by the stunt and stresses, “We don’t need stunts on airplanes right now.” (25:22, 26:17)

Plane Oddities, Etiquette, and Pet Peeves (28:18 – 48:08)

• Viral “fog” from air vents: Panic caused by dramatic mist from AC—flight attendants have to calm passengers (27:48).
• Feuds over air vents, window shades, armrests, and seat reclines:
  • The “middle seat gets both armrests” rule of thumb (29:09)
  • Window seat owns shade—unless the flight attendant requests otherwise (31:44)
  • Discussing proper discourse when asking (or refusing) to move seats; etiquette experts’ tips for polite refusals (43:12)
  • Great exchange on requests to switch seats for parents/kids:
    • “Would you give up a first class seat for a mom who wants to sit with her kid in coach?”
      — “No.” (42:23)
• Personal Space Offenses:
  • People playing audio devices without headphones; kids’ cartoons blaring (34:07)
  • Stinky plane food, chit-chatters, grooming on planes (see timestamps in “Notable Quotes and Moments”)
• Odd stats: Spike in unruly passenger incidents since COVID—up 492% in 2021 (35:27–36:11).
• Gordo’s hypothesis: Modern entitlement and reduced social skills thanks to technology have made people more irritable and less able to compromise in public spaces (37:08).

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6. Absurd Medical News: Pig Semen Cures Eye Cancer? (48:22)

• Gordo reads a wild news story: “Scientists turn pig semen into eyedrops that kill cancer in mice.” (49:03)
  • Enter the classic Musers riff—immediately devolves into jokes about pig pornography and animal arousal (49:28–50:09).
  • George, predictably, is horrified: “I’d rather go blind than pig semen...” (49:13)
• Speculation on how animals respond to screens and TV.
• Discussion wraps with the recurring in-joke persona, “Eye cancer Mickey,” lampooning medical side effects and the limits of podcast decorum.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On spending:
  “We Americans... love to spend. That's what keeps the economy going. It's patriotic for you to run out of that $2 million.” — Gordo (03:34)

• On card shuffling odds:
  “The odds of you ever shuffling a deck into the exact same order twice are zero. Essentially zero.” — Gordo (05:13)

• On dying for money:
  “$5 million. I don’t care. You come back to life the next day.” — Gordo (14:23)
  “Give me $1 billion. And the answer is still no.” — Craig (14:27)

• On planes and window shades:
  “Does the window guy have full control over the shade?”
  “100%.” — Craig (30:59)
  “I felt bad about waking the guy up to do something that I could do myself.” — Gordo (30:54)

• On etiquette requests:
  “No, thank you. I prefer to keep my seat.” — Official etiquette refusal (43:12)

• Plane pet peeves:
  “No clipping, no trimming, nothing like that on a plane.” — Craig (39:55)
  “Leave that [reheated fish] at home. I don’t need to smell the sewage of the Gulf...” — Gordo (45:08)

• On pig semen eyedrops:
  “Scientists turn pig semen into eyedrops that kill cancer in mice.” — Gordo (49:03)
  “I’d rather go blind than...” — George (49:13)

• On chit-chatters:
  “You just ignore them, act like they’re not talking to you.” — George (45:27)
  “There’s really nothing you can do at that point unless you want to be rude.” — Craig (46:42)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Brain exercise: Million vs. billion (02:27)
• Card shuffling odds & magic talk (05:12–07:08)
• Chess possibilities & infinite games (07:37–08:59)
• Letter of the week: dying for $1M/year (11:15–15:05)
• Battle with modern weapon hypothetical (15:05–20:52)
• Robot “Stewie” flies Southwest (21:32–26:46)
• Plane etiquette roundtable (28:18–48:08)
• Pig semen eyedrops news story (48:22–53:48)

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Final Thoughts

This episode is classic Musers: tangential, whip-smart, and uproarious—moving from genuine, thoughtful insights to wild hypotheticals and left-field news stories. Their chemistry makes even the most mundane topics (like airplane armrest rules) entertaining, while their irreverence ensures no subject is off-limits (pig semen eyedrops, anyone?). Whether you come for the absurd banter or the sneakily sharp social commentary, Episode 44 is a can’t-miss listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Made in usa.

[A]

You can read all the way that small at the end. Okay, well, thank you, eye cancer Mickey.

[B]

See ya.

[A]

Good luck with your pig, Seaman.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Hello and welcome to the Musers the podcast. I'm Gordon, along with my good buddy George and my other good buddy Craig.

[C]

This is episode 44, episode George Gervin, the Iceman.

[A]

Yeah, we made it to 44. So how many presents have we had?

[C]

45, I think that's right.

[A]

Right. Although it's kind of confusing because two of them were presidents twice, non consecutively. So they count as two different presidents.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Trump and Taft.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gosh, this is so sad how little I know about US History. But yeah, so we're getting up there. We're getting presidential level right now. All right. We have a big show for this week and very excited about the coming weeks because we're going to have our big live program that's going to be filmed live. It's going to be filmed actual 16 millimeter film.

[C]

I don't.

[A]

Filmed at the Kessler in Dallas, Texas on May 21st. So depending on whether you listen to this podcast before or after, that may be of interest to you. But we are going to start off with a little bit of fun information. I always like to do things that edify our brains. You know, it's important to exercise your brain and I'll give you some knowledge. I'm gonna drop a knowledge bomb on you, okay. To give you a sense of scale. The difference between a million and a billion. If I told y' all that before, I swear I have.

[B]

Maybe on our show. I'm starting on the podcast.

[A]

I'm starting to have deja vu all the time now. As if I've lived this life before.

[C]

I don't. Maybe you did this on the radio show. I don't remember.

[B]

On the podcast, you just get a lot of stuff.

[A]

A million seconds ago is 11.5 days ago. A billion seconds ago. 31.7 years ago.

[B]

Wow. Wow, man. Like a long time ago.

[A]

So when you think of a millionaire and a billionaire, how much more is a billion?

[C]

Everybody could spend A million dollars Pretty easily.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think it would be hard to spend a billion.

[A]

I think most people think, man, if I had $2 million, I'd be set for life. And I think that people underestimate their spending habits.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And how that would ramp up. And you'd think, well, I have unlimited money, so now I can start spending. And you realize that your unlimited money runs out in two years because you were buying all kinds of crazy stuff, because why not you have unlimited money.

[C]

If you have $2 million, you probably could be set for life if you lived a very spartan lifestyle.

[A]

Right. Which is counterintuitive. You'd think you're a multi millionaire.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Therefore, you would always have money. But no, I think we Americans in particular, we love to spend. That's what keeps the economy going. It's patriotic for you to run out of that $2 million.

[B]

Isn't that what makes that retirement thing so complicated? Because how many years are you talking about?

[C]

You never know. You might be retired three years.

[B]

Two million be pretty good.

[C]

You might kick the bucket after three years, but you might live 40 years.

[B]

Yeah. You're back to work.

[C]

And if you had a billion, good

[A]

luck getting back in the workforce at 100.

[B]

How old are you? 98.

[A]

Do you really think that you can lift these pallets of mulch and move them to the other side of the store?

[B]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

You give me a. I don't think, sir. No, there's no.

[B]

I can operate a forklift.

[A]

No, this is manual labor, sir.

[C]

And if you had a billion, you could run through it pretty quickly. If you bought a pro sports franchise or something, you know, that cost a billion.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You could blow it all there.

[A]

But they find. Yeah. I think they get a 30 year fixed on those sports franchises. Maybe something like that. All right. And I think that I teased this before in a previous episode of Gordo's Corner, and that is the crazy odds of when you shuffle a deck of cards like this always tickles my mind to see the odds and hear the stats about how many different permutations there are of a deck of cards in the order that they can be in. The odds of you ever shuffling a deck into the exact same order twice are zero. Essentially zero.

[B]

Wow. Whoa.

[A]

And just after seven shuffles, you've likely created a card order that has never ever existed before in the history of anyone playing cards and just 52 cards.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The deck has never been in that order before. Wow. If you, Pharaoh, shuffle seven times.

[B]

That's why I know there's Tricks and ways to market. But that's why card tricks always blow me away.

[A]

Because of the.

[B]

Just because I know the odds of, you know, how they're stacked and.

[A]

Well, because they're doing tricks.

[B]

I know there's easy ways to do it, but it's still like the guy all of a sudden the. The car to fall out of the ceiling or just pick a random card and throw it up in the ceiling. That's your card.

[A]

Yeah. I do love magic. I love going to a magic show.

[B]

Let's have one.

[A]

A muser's magic show.

[C]

I have a quarter trick.

[A]

Yeah, you can do some. You have a trick and I can do a few different tricks that always amaze people. But they all work on the same types of principles. It's the forcing of a card. You know, usually the trick is always done at a time where you're not expecting the trick is done right. You know, it's right up front when they know which card you have. And then there's five pieces of theater that they have to go through before they reveal it. But they could have told you, right. As soon as you pick the card out of the deck which one it was. You know, it's all those. Learning the tricks of magic defeats the magic itself. It's like it's so deflating to learn. Oh, that's how that worked. And there's two types of people in the world. There's the people who want to know how it works.

[B]

There's.

[A]

And there's the people as. No, I enjoy the wonder.

[C]

I want to know.

[B]

I hate that I enjoy the wonder.

[A]

I'm a want to know guy and I hate that about myself.

[C]

I want to know so that I can do the trick and amaze people.

[A]

Yeah, like reading people's minds. I love mentalism. And all those tricks appear to be reading your mind. And then when.

[B]

That's freaky when they do that. The NFL teams.

[A]

Yeah, NFL ers don't handle it very well. They have to run around.

[B]

A lot of them leave the room. And the devil.

[A]

People get very demonstrative when Satan shows up with a mentalism trick.

[C]

Can't believe there are that many different combinations in a card deck.

[A]

There are more possible arrangements in shuffling in the shuffling of a deck of cards than there are stars in the sky.

[C]

That's ridiculous.

[A]

I know. It's mind boggling.

[C]

So, you know, I've been playing chess a lot lately and I looked this up.

[A]

Playing with your chest.

[C]

Playing the game of chess.

[A]

Oh, I thought I've been doing the Ice cubes on my nipples thing there.

[C]

There is basically an infinite amount of possible chess games.

[A]

Yes. That's another one. Yes. It's like no chess game. Well, after a certain number of moves, right. It's like have ever been played. Like if you play past. And I forget how many moves it is past 20 moves or something like that. I can't remember the number. But yeah, that you are playing a game that has never been played before.

[C]

Isn't that amazing?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Now that makes more sense to me though than the deck of cards. Although you got 52. But when you combine how many chess pieces there are by the number of squares there are on the board.

[A]

Right.

[C]

That makes more sense to me than the deck of cards.

[A]

Yeah, but you think of the. The deck is not just the. I guess it would be 10 numbers if you count Ace as a one. Right.

[C]

12, 12 or 13. Because you have the royal.

[A]

Well, that's what I'm saying. You add those royals in there and then it.

[C]

They say there are about 10 to the 120th power possible chess games.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

A number that no human or they say in here, even computer. Although that'll probably change. Could ever play in a lifetime.

[A]

I don't know. It's. It's weird, man.

[B]

That is weird, man. It's heavy.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

All right, let's get to our letter of the week. You ready?

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

You ready for this? Hold on. I think I have a sounder here for this. And here is the time for the letter of the week.

[B]

It's really well produced.

[A]

Today's this letter of the week. The man, Gordon.

[C]

Yeah, the man.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Who is your. Who is that voice talent?

[A]

That's me.

[B]

I mean, it's talking into his phone.

[A]

Me, it's somebody else messed up my microphone here. I was trying to lower it with feedback. All right, this comes to us from P1, Jared. Jared says, Dearest musers, my family and I sometimes give each other hypotheticals. Usually kid friendly and lighthearted. Well, yesterday I was driving my 13 year old daughter to school listening to you guys when she said, oh, Dad, I have a hypothetical. Would you die once a year knowing you'd come back to life the next day for a million dollars a year? Now here are the qualifications in this qualifiers. The catch is you can't die the same way twice. And you can choose when you want to stop doing it. So that's an upside. Right? You may do it after two years.

[B]

You can say, that's it.

[A]

Yeah. I think that this has to be after. You have to make an initial five year commitment. Then after five years you can opt out. But you can't die the same two ways twice. And it doesn't mean that you'll live for forever and get $1 million a year for forever. You will, let's say you dine at whatever the average age of death is, 78.

[C]

But you're going to feel the pain of each death you experience.

[A]

Yes. You experience each death.

[B]

No way.

[C]

You know what that reminds me of the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. Remember he'd just walk out in front

[A]

of us just to get the day over with as soon as possible.

[C]

Wake up the next day. Yeah, great movie. I laughed so hard when I saw that for the first time. His reaction every morning waking up.

[A]

Yes. So Jared says, needless to say, I'm investigating therapy options for my daughter.

[C]

Yeah, really.

[A]

And the idea of death by shark still haunts me because that's the thing. What if you've gone 40, 50 years of this, you've got $50 million, but

[B]

you take that beach, you realize that

[A]

all of the standard ways of death have kind of been exhausted. So now you're really paranoid and you

[B]

think when you go to the beach, I'm not going to get in the water.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You get on a boat, but then that boat sinks and that's your shark.

[C]

Wait a minute. Yeah, but you can, you can choose the way each.

[A]

No, no.

[C]

You don't know. It's a surprise.

[A]

And you don't know. You don't know when it happens during the year.

[C]

Where would I do that? No, I thought it was. You could choose. And then I'm thinking, well, maybe I could do that. Find the most painless ways. But it's going to be a once a year surprise.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You get your head cut off.

[B]

Terrible pain.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

No way.

[B]

Could be burned.

[C]

No.

[A]

When you, when you get some tree work done and that guy starts walking up your sidewalk with a chainsaw, you're not exactly sure.

[B]

Yeah, you're. You're paranoid of everything.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Legit guy.

[C]

No, there's not a price for that. Hypothetical.

[A]

But just do it for five years. You have $5 million and 5 million. You can live for the rest of your life on 5 million. To invest a wealth.

[C]

You'll be scarred.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Scarred forever. Mentally.

[A]

$5 million. I don't care. You come back to life the next day.

[B]

I don't care.

[C]

Give me $1 billion. And the answer is still no.

[A]

Wow. I'm with you.

[B]

I'm with you on that. What about you? Never answers. Hypothetical.

[A]

I think I would do it for a million dollars a year. I would do it for the minimum. The minimum of five years.

[C]

You would take up smoking again. You would take up drinking again. You'd be a nervous wreck.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Mess.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

But I would be a bigger mess.

[A]

5 millionaire. What do you call that? A quint millionaire? Quintillionaire.

[C]

Multi millionaire, I think is the term.

[A]

Yeah, I guess I could have gone with that.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Seeing as how it's a word I've already said once in this podcast. Yeah, I think I would do it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Definitely. And that was our P1 letter of the week. But I do have an additional one here. Jeff had an interesting question. He said you're allowed to take one modern handheld weapon, so a pistol or a rifle or a machine gun, to the past. And participate in a historic battle. Now, you do risk the likelihood that you could be killed. But what do you take and what battle do you choose? And you can have unlimited ammunition, but you still have to reload and all that. And you have the risk of death in that fight.

[B]

So weird, because I've thought about that before.

[A]

Have you?

[B]

Yeah, just like, you know, tough battles.

[A]

How many women have thought about this? Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They didn't feel like this was a possibility they had to prepare for mentally, in case it came up.

[C]

I think I know I would go back to the Revolutionary War and I would take a sword.

[A]

You, you're an idiot.

[B]

You'd last five seconds.

[A]

You are an idiot. I would go. If you went back to the Revolutionary War, wouldn't you take a machine gun,

[C]

just mow everybody down, just.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And then a cannon, a quarter mile an hour, quarter mile an hour, quarter of a mile away, figures out where you are.

[A]

There's no way they could blast me. No way cannons could fire at least that far back. They can, but I just don't think I could run faster than they could figure it out.

[C]

It does seem like cannon is too primitive of technology where you could evade it.

[A]

Right. But the bad news is, as I'm running away from the cannon, laughing at them as they've missed me every time. Because every time they fire the cannon, I watch it sail until it gets to the top of its arc before I even start running because it's so slow. And I'll run into the woods and of course I'll scratch myself on a branch. And then no penicillin. So I just get infected and die. That's the, that's the only problem with the Revolutionary War. So you gotta. There's some special area, some balance of. You don't want to go back too far, that you have horrible medicine, but you don't want to. You need to go back far enough to where your weapon is going to be so outsized, to what they have against you.

[B]

Right. Even. Even if you had the machine gun and you're going back to the Revolutionary War to try to end it sooner

[A]

and you accidentally strafe George Washington, you're

[B]

gonna steep as fuck. Uzi gets away from you, something's gonna

[A]

go haywire, take out half the founding fathers.

[C]

So, George, you said you've thought about this a lot. So what did you ever come up with?

[B]

Well, as a kid, I used to think about. Cause the Alamo was like the saddest story you know, you ever read about as a kid? It's like oh my gosh, they were all killed. And so I used to think about going back and helping Davy Crockett out with an Uzi of some sort. So you would take the Alamo, you'd

[A]

take a machine gun.

[B]

That was like eight year old me. That was like eight.

[A]

Because you want to shoot down a thousand Mexicans.

[B]

Well, see, that's the bottom line is no war is terrible. It's not some video game. It's awful. No, I couldn't do that.

[A]

But you would save all those men's lives.

[B]

Yeah, but I couldn't do it.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

I felt like a failure because I didn't serve in the military and a lot of my family did. But no, I don't think I've always

[A]

thought less of you because of that.

[C]

Well, there's a lot of reasons.

[A]

I never feel that way. About the only opportunity I've had to tell you. That's one of them came up naturally.

[C]

There's still time. You could enlist.

[B]

Bottom line is you don't want to shoot somebody, you don't want to kill somebody.

[C]

Is that your PSA for the day?

[B]

That's the kids. Okay, if it was, you learned one thing today. No, because even that that would go wrong.

[A]

George said you want to kill a thousand Mexicans and save Hitler's life.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is the most controversial episode ever changed.

[B]

That was eight year old me. They just didn't want all those cool dudes in the Alamo to get killed. Hey, it's John Wayne. I didn't want him to.

[A]

You know, John Wayne wasn't in the Alamo.

[B]

Well, when you're eight, you think that someone like him was Davy Crockett. Probably was a lot like John Wayne.

[A]

Well, I think in the hypothetical that Jeff presented to us though, you have to choose a battle.

[B]

You have to.

[A]

You can't opt out and just say, nah, I've got a kick ass life here. I choose not to serve. You can't do that.

[B]

I go help him out at Pearl Harbor. How about that? So that wasn't such a one sided take. Today's anti aircraft is that handheld though.

[A]

It's gotta be something.

[B]

That's right, it's gotta be handheld.

[A]

It would be rpg.

[B]

I don't think I could help him much there.

[A]

Biggest you could get there.

[B]

How about I'm sounding the alarm two hours before.

[A]

Hey, this is gonna be bad and everyone. You would be locked in a loony bin before.

[B]

No, trust me. Turn on that radar.

[C]

So your weapon is your hand to sound the alarm. That's what you're taking back.

[A]

This is the product of all of this thought that he's given this.

[B]

You gave us five seconds to think about it.

[A]

You said that you've thought about this a lot.

[B]

You changed the rules. I'm not eight years old anymore.

[C]

You know, mine always related to Star Trek. I always dreamed of taking a phaser, some sci fi weapon back in time and then just dazzling everybody.

[A]

Yeah, but that's not invented yet.

[C]

I know, but that was when I used to think of this kind of a hypothetical as a kid. I would always want to take modern.

[A]

But yes, you do have that opportunity. To those people back then, you basically will be carrying a phaser. They were not going to see anything like this weapon that you have. And so you could do it. I think the Revolutionary War is not a bad one.

[C]

Okay, I'll take the Revolutionary War and I'll take a taser. I'll have to walk up to each British soldier and tase them.

[B]

That's not gonna work.

[A]

You think there's any way that taser's getting through all the clothing, the stupid costumes that they wore to fight in? Why did they all dress up in costumes to fight in?

[B]

That's a good question. You had to know what team you're on.

[C]

They had the most uncomfortable looking combat outfits.

[A]

Yes. They're all dressed up like fancy lads.

[C]

They weren't practical. They were all wearing wigs.

[A]

Yeah, a soldier shouldn't have to powder his wig. Those stupid tri cornered hats.

[B]

I don't think they worried about that too much in battle.

[A]

All right, let's do some news. You ready?

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right, here we go. We got a news intro.

[B]

No, please, God.

[A]

Oh, it's time for what are people or should people be talking about with a look at the news with your perman for the news. Good. And king. Yes, indeed. Thank you, announcer man. We start off with something that happened in Dallas and Fort Worth. There was a passenger at Love Field, which is a airport that's kind of in the heart of Dallas, and he was getting on a flight to Las Vegas. Southwest Airlines. But he wasn't going alone. He bought two tickets. You want to guess who his travelmate was?

[C]

An animal?

[A]

No,

[B]

himself.

[A]

What?

[B]

He needed two seats.

[C]

Big guy.

[A]

No, wasn't a big guy. Didn't need two seats. Human being close. It was a human like robot. It was a humanoid robot that was walking around talking to other passengers that he gets on the plane with. And this company that did it, it's the robot Studio. And the humanoid robot's Name is Stewie, which is a funny name for humanoid robot. Stewie had his own plane ticket, and the company made sure they did their due diligence and made sure that his battery was within the FAA's compliance.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And so that Stewie could fly. So Stewie gets on this plane. Can you imagine how freaky that is? Watching a humanoid robot walking down the aisle, struggling with its carry on to get it up in the baggage compartment, cussing, saying, oh, excuse me, I'm sorry, can I get by here? I'm out. I'm window. I window. I need to get through here. Doing all that getting on the plane. And Stewie the robot flew on the plane. But Southwest was not happy about it.

[B]

Yeah, they've got enough problems. We're trying to get humans to locations, not these. Not these spare robots who have no function whatsoever.

[A]

Why are you saying you're just doing it?

[B]

So they go, oh, wow, it's a robot. He gets to fly with us. And he's whipping everyone's ass asking questions.

[A]

He's very friendly. People enjoyed seeing the robot want to

[B]

get on a plane, they want to take their flight. They don't want to talk to another human, let alone, let alone a stupid robot.

[C]

I bet he was more well behaved than a lot of people on planes these days.

[A]

Yes, I bet he was too. And I bet you that I would be interested in flying with a humanoid robot. I think that would be interesting. Now, I'm not saying, like half of the flight being humanoid robot. That's not going to get tiresome. But I think for, you know, a few times, it seems kind of cool if a robot came and sat next to you.

[B]

What's the purpose, though? They were just doing it. Hey, let's see what happens. Well, yeah, we don't have time for, hey, see what happens on planes right now.

[A]

They were trying to, obviously, I think that they, the company was stunting and bringing awareness to robots, right?

[B]

So someone would talk about it on a podcast.

[A]

But I think that if you do have an expensive humanoid robot, let's say that is your, I don't know, companion in life and is the robot of your household that helps the kids with their homework and all that kind of stuff, and you needed to fly it somewhere, you may not be comfortable putting it in the cargo hold.

[C]

Can I make.

[A]

So you may buy a ticket for your Stewie?

[C]

Can I make a prediction?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

10 years from now, 15 years from now, you'll see this a lot. People will be getting on planes, they'll be going to hotels with their family robot that is basically their nanny.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Or their butler or whatever. Yeah, you're gonna see it a lot.

[A]

That's what I'm saying, George.

[B]

Okay, well, until we get there, then.

[A]

The thing that Craig said is stunting.

[B]

We don't need stunts on airplanes right now. We got enough problems.

[A]

Well, okay, this one was kind of a stunt, but I just laid out a scenario in which it could be a real practical matter as well. If it's the. The family.

[B]

Family robot. Okay, yeah, that's fine if we get there someday, but we're not there.

[A]

Emotional support robot. I can see that happening.

[B]

All those people need to get over themselves if they have a pet or a robot.

[A]

I feel like stepping into the future quite as well as you.

[B]

Probably not.

[A]

Yeah, this. So this happened in. Southwest comes out and says, look, we're updating our policy, and this is what they issued. Southwest Airlines does not allow human like or animal like robots to be transported in the cabin or as checked baggage regardless of size or purpose.

[B]

Good.

[A]

And then they go on to define a human like robot, and they also say they close the loophole for animal like robots like those.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Creepy war dogs.

[B]

They don't have time for that right now.

[C]

Can I make a prediction? In 10 years, they will change that policy because some other airlines, or maybe they'll be the first, will start to allow the family robot, and they'll realize they're missing out on all this revenue and they will reverse that policy. Mark it down.

[B]

Okay, well, we're not there yet. And whoever did that, that company, they're a bunch of jackasses.

[A]

They may be local.

[B]

I don't care.

[A]

Yeah, they may be our title sponsors.

[B]

I doubt that.

[A]

You need to watch out.

[B]

I doubt that.

[A]

There was one other news item dealing with a plane that I took notice of. And this was a viral video that went around. And we've all been on planes before, and you've seen the air conditioning system where it is blowing out, you know, kind of mist or fog. The vapor that happens when the humidity is the right kind of conditions mixed with the air conditioner, and it looks like it's vapor coming out of there. And usually it's just kind of interesting looking. You know, it kind of looks cool and Halloweeny. But there was a recent episode where the fog was coming out so thick. And the viral video, when you see it, it basically looks like everyone on the plane is being gassed by terrorists. And so some people were freaking out over it. The stewardess is getting on the Loudspeaker saying, you know, this is just normal. It's just the air conditioning. Don't worry about it, just stay calm, just think happy thoughts and no one get up and no one challenges and everything will go just fine. And. And so it was basically a non event, but it was very creep to see that. And then at the conclusion of this news story, it mentioned another thing that happened recently on a plane that went viral and that was a conflict between two passengers where the middle passenger kept reaching up every once in a while and turning off the vent for the window aisle passenger because the middle guy was cold.

[C]

It's not his vent, not his venture.

[A]

And they start getting into it over this. And the middle guy even had smart ass comments like, hey, I paid for a ticket to fly. I didn't pay for experiencing your communal air conditioning. And all this.

[B]

He was just a total jerk.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Total jerk. But it leads us into plain etiquette talk because the middle passenger does have some rights that other passengers don't. The right to armrest both of them. It's in the Bill of Rights. It's in the first 10 bills of rights. This would be the first 10amendments are the Bill of Rights. But yeah, the middle guy gets the armrest within reason. Yeah, I think you share the armrest.

[C]

You try to.

[B]

It's not very big.

[A]

No, it isn't.

[C]

The window passenger has the benefit of the window and one armrest all to themselves. The aisle has the aisle, easy access and an armrest all to themselves. The middle man or woman gets the short straw. Therefore they should get both armrests.

[A]

Right. That's the rule of thumb. Yeah, both armrests.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The window shade. This is a tricky one.

[C]

Now, I think that is, I've seen way sideways the domain of the window seat.

[A]

That's what I kind of think too. All right.

[C]

That's the benefit of you choosing that window seat.

[A]

And I usually get a window seat for this reason. And I'm almost always, I would say 90% of the time a window shade down guy.

[C]

Oh, I'm 90% window shade up.

[A]

Because I like to sleep. I like to sleep. Now, I have had it happen before where I'm not the window guy and the window guy is asleep and has the window shade up and you reach over and I have reached over before. I've also done the thing of awakened the person and asked them, hey, since we're all sleeping, do you mind if you put the window shade down?

[B]

That's dicey. I don't know if you want to step into those waters.

[A]

Why?

[C]

I can't believe that you would, on a plane, give a guy a reach around.

[A]

No, no, I. Reach over. Reach over.

[C]

You know what I think asking politely is, that's fine. But I think doing it on your own while he's asleep, that's a little sneaky.

[A]

But I felt the reason I did it on my own was the second time, because the first time I woke the guy up and I felt bad about waking the guy up to do something that I could do myself.

[C]

No. That's bad.

[B]

Does the window guy have full control over the shade?

[C]

100%.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

100.

[B]

Some guy leaning over him.

[A]

I think he has 99% control. Because if he's asleep and we're all trying to sleep, there's no reason to have that shade open.

[C]

Maybe he sleeps better in bright light. You don't know that.

[B]

Or if he wakes up.

[A]

That would be me. If I was a guy sleeping with the window shade up and somebody asked me to put it down, I'd say I prefer to sleep in bright light.

[B]

If he wakes up, he wants to see what he wants to see, and he doesn't want to feel closed in with the shade down. His call. All right, what about this? And I've told you guys this story before. What about if you're flying and it's really hot outside, and as you're landing, the flight attendant says, as we land, please close your window shades to keep the plane as cool as possible?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So everybody on the plane does it. And it wasn't quite a full flight. In fact, the guy up from us had his own row to himself, and he did not lower his window shade.

[A]

Did you give him a reach around?

[B]

And so I didn't reach over him. I walked over to where the window was and shut it because he wasn't polite enough to do it for the flight attendant. Now, he was not sitting by the window.

[A]

He was sitting on the aisle to an empty row. To an empty row, but the window shade was open.

[B]

So as we're landing, then he leans over and puts it back up. And that's when I said, oh, I forgot. This is your plane. I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I forgot we were playing your airline.

[A]

Why? Why not?

[B]

Just so sorry.

[A]

Try kindness one more time before you escalate.

[B]

Because he was a total jackass. He was dropping f bombs the whole trip and just. Oh, yeah, he was.

[A]

He was.

[B]

He was there for all the amusement.

[A]

Cool guy. Complainer. That was always an announcement that was made. He always Had a comment about everything that was said.

[B]

Like, that's going to work.

[C]

Oh, now there he was clearly in the wrong. Because at that point, flight attendant or pilot, they overrule all passengers.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. So I was just helping him out. I said, hey, I was trying to help you out because I guess you weren't able to shut it. I want it open. Oh, yeah, that's right. It's your plane. I forgot.

[A]

That's what. No, that's what you just say, hey, the flight attendants told us to put them down.

[B]

Yeah, I did say that first. They're the ones who put them down.

[A]

Yeah, they have authority over all of us. Oh, God, now you're getting my blood pressure up. And I'm not even confronting this.

[B]

But you know what? I think now I would not. I would just let him lift it up and I wouldn't confront. Because, man. Plane incidents. No, because you just don't want it. You don't want the trouble. And I can't believe the amount of incidents we have on planes. And it starts with something like that.

[A]

All right, I've had this. This is one that I have happen every flight I take now. And that is the person who just doesn't get that when they turn up the volume on their iPad loud enough for them to hear it, that there are other sentient beings that are somewhat around their location. Like they can't quite. Can't quite understand that other people have the gift of hearing.

[B]

That's amazing.

[C]

Every flight I've been on lately specifically will announce, do not listen to anything on your personal device without wearing your own headphones.

[A]

Right.

[C]

They don't even allow that.

[A]

And I see people just completely disregard that.

[C]

Yeah, that's annoying.

[A]

I actually saw someone ask someone who had a kid that was listening full volume. Full volume cartoon that this kid was watching. And it was like a really frantic antic cartoon. All sorts of sound effects. All sound effects. And they said to the parent, hey, that's pretty loud. You know, we've got people trying to rest around here and that's very loud. Can you. Do you have headphones that they could wear or something? And the parent did the. Yeah, she doesn't like wearing headphones.

[C]

God.

[A]

So.

[B]

Well, I don't like hearing her cartoon.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's just too bad because she doesn't like wearing headphones. And we're all entitled to maximum comfort and perfect conditions at all, all points in time. Nothing's ever a compromise to people like that.

[B]

You know how our perception is that plane incidents have just taken this huge jump of unruly passengers. Do you know what year that was when we took the jump?

[A]

Covid.

[B]

I think it is very Covid related. It was 2021 when we all started flying again. They jumped 492%. They went from a thousand incidents in 2020 to 5,900 in 2021.

[A]

But isn't that because nobody was flying in 2020?

[B]

Or I guess we all got back in the planes and we're all annoyed with each other.

[C]

And everybody was still at that time, required to wear a mask.

[B]

There was a mask thing.

[C]

Half of those were mask incidents.

[B]

I bet they were too.

[A]

Yeah. People who thought it was crazy that we were wearing masks or people who.

[C]

People refused to wear masks.

[A]

Yeah. And then other people being upset that they're not wearing a mask.

[B]

I bet that's what it was.

[A]

But yeah, that was the worst year. 2021. Right.

[C]

That was the worst year for pretty much everything. Either 2020 or 2021.

[B]

It was all bad. But the last few years, we've been right at around 2000, and that's twice as much as what it was before 2021. So since then, it just seems like

[A]

everyone's gotten just a little more jerky.

[B]

Yeah. You just don't want to get in the middle of it. You just say, okay, I'm sorry. Let's just get there.

[A]

And my whole theory, which has zero science or studies behind it as far as I know, Is that it has to do with technology and it has to do with that. We're getting kind of used to the world being the way we want it. We got set up. We got options to make everything. We get things delivered to us. We just. We're kind of used to not dealing with people. And so people just become a huge annoyance. And we lose all our skills. And we actually have kind of. We actually feel somewhat entitled to having the world the way we want it.

[B]

Yeah. And that's part of.

[A]

Why do I have to make compromises to live in a society or live with other people? So we get really short tempered with others.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we get really into. No. An airline can't tell me to do something if I want this window shade up. It'll be up if I don't want to wear a mask.

[B]

And they have a rule.

[A]

Wear a mask. I'm gonna go with what I want. I feel.

[B]

Flight attendant. What a tough.

[A]

There's no tough gig. Yeah, it is. Where is Daredevil? I'm right here. Don't miss the return of Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again. So what's next?

[C]

I've been liberated when it takes this

[A]

city back over medicated in an all new season, now streaming only on Disney plus. They're hunting us. It's time we started hunting them.

[C]

I can work with them.

[A]

This should be tons of fun. Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again now streaming only on Disney plus.

[B]

Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha Frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel, maybe? Or white chocolate mocha?

[A]

Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits.

[B]

Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

[A]

Okay. Shoes. Shoes. Do you have to wear them on a plane?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yes. You should.

[A]

I think so, too. But all of these etiquette experts that I was reading about that issue were saying that you can take off your shoes, just not your socks. And I'm thinking, I think that the shoes ought to be a requirement too.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Nobody wants to smell your foot odor.

[A]

They were saying, and this is their argument, they're saying that the reason you leave your socks on but you can take off your shoes, you gotta leave your socks on because you put yourself in danger by going barefoot because the floor is covered with bacteria and viruses. And the reason this falls apart to me is, okay, well, what about the bag or purse that I've stuffed on the floor and then up under the chair and then I pull it out and I set it on the chair next to me or I set it on my tray table that I didn't eat off of. It's like, that's the same thing.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It's touching all those viruses and bacteria, too. And I'm spreading it all over the cabin.

[B]

Yeah. Shoes on.

[C]

Yeah. I don't think you should disrobe in any way. And I don't think you should do any personal grooming on the plane. I've seen people take off their shoes. I think I talked about this on our radio show. This happened many years ago. Take off their shoes and clip their toenails on the row in front of me. It's the most disgusting thing. No clipping, no trimming, nothing like that on a plane.

[A]

Reclining your seat. All of these etiquette experts said that you need to ask someone behind you.

[C]

Good.

[A]

Or at least take them into account.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Like, it's not your. In other words, don't be jerky and just think it's your immediate right to recline.

[B]

Or there's nothing worse than the quick lean back after taking.

[A]

I don't understand that either. It's always the guy who wants to just show you. You know, I think that even if you're doing it without asking someone, that a little acknowledgement of those other people in the world in the sense of you're going to do a slow lean back, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

For some reason that's more palatable to me. That shows that you're not just, but the guy who just immediately. I mean, as fast as he possibly can, as soon as he possibly can.

[C]

I hate that guy.

[A]

Violently as he can. Just basically. And your diet coat goes flying up in the air and everything.

[B]

What's your problem? Never flown on a plane before. Okay.

[A]

They built recline in this seat for a reason. Dude.

[C]

Hate that guy.

[A]

But yes, look back behind you. If they have their trade down and they have a Coke or a meal on it and everything, you really should kind of wait, right?

[C]

I never lean my seat.

[B]

I don't think I do either.

[A]

I think it's an iffy one, though. I think that there's. That's one where you need to talk to people and try to communicate with people.

[B]

Unless I'm rolling in first class. And I'll put it back.

[A]

All right, George, you've had this one happen to you. It's the asking to move seats. And then what do you do? In that case, you've always said that you err on the side. You always move seats for people.

[B]

I have, yeah.

[A]

I've moved before too. But do you always do it?

[B]

Yeah, I think I'm like one for one, I guess, or maybe two.

[A]

Oh, you've only been asked once?

[B]

Maybe twice. I don't think I've ever done the turndown of. No, it's okay. I really like my seat here. I mean, if someone's trying to sit next to their child or their wife. I've accommodated before and it's annoying and sometimes it's a worse seat. But yeah, it's like, whatever.

[C]

What if you're in first class, there's a child next to you, and then the mom comes up and says, this is my son. I'd like to sit with him for the flight. I'm back in coach in a middle seat. Do you mind switching?

[B]

I'd say, I tell you what, you mind sitting on my lap? Otherwise you ain't sitting next to your kid.

[A]

Here, you can face me.

[B]

So you're not giving up.

[A]

You can face me so you can see your kid.

[C]

You're not giving up a first class seat?

[B]

I don't think so. No.

[C]

No.

[A]

Boy, that Would be turbulence.

[B]

That's really ballsy, isn't it? Going up and saying, hey, I know you're in first class and everything, but I really want to sit next to friends.

[A]

Really happened.

[B]

I wouldn't put it.

[C]

I bet it's happened. It's a big ask, but I bet it's happened.

[B]

Yeah. Look, I'll look after the kid, all right? Go sit back there in steerage.

[A]

Steerage. Don't call it steerage.

[C]

I will switch if it's an equal trade. Like if I have this window seat and an exit row, and I was excited to get it. If they're coming from a seat of equal value, decent legroom, window seat, I'll do the trade, but I'm not switching window seat for a middle or something like that.

[B]

You got your Jimmy Johnson trade chart right next to you saying, no, it's the same value, so no.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So etiquette experts say that this is what you should say if you don't want to change. No, thank you. I prefer to keep my seat. And then just stop talking.

[B]

No matter what they say, you want to switch seats.

[A]

So then they said that. And this is the thing is, I've seen people before, they ask to move seats. You know, not me. I've seen this happen a lot more where they ask someone else near me, and the person says, no, thank you. I prefer to keep my seat. They say, no, thank you. They're polite. They're not jerky. But then the person immediately gets mad. Somehow they had the right. Right to insist that that person change seats. And I don't. What's. What is that attitude? Like, why are they thinking that person is a jerk for not doing what they requested?

[B]

I don't know. I guess we just place expectations on people sometimes. Oh, yeah, they'll switch because I'm going to ask nicely. So therefore, it's an automatic.

[A]

All right, here's the other thing that etiquette experts says. If someone starts giving you the reasons why. Yeah, but this is, you know, my kid has a condition, and I need to apply ointment all the time.

[B]

Ointment.

[A]

Jesus says, I appreciate why you'd want to sit together, but I'd like to stay in my seat. I understand all of the good reasons for me to trade seats. And you don't need to explain them.

[C]

That's so customer service.

[A]

That's escalating.

[C]

Yeah, that's a little passive aggressive there. You don't need to explain them. I understand.

[B]

Yeah,

[C]

that would escalate.

[A]

Stinky food. Leave that at home. I've had people get on the plane, I got reheated fish next to me. Don't need it. Yeah, I don't need to. That should be outright smell the sewage

[B]

of the Gulf, you know, and almost no matter what it is, if someone brings something from the terminal on the plane, it could be a sandwich. It's gonna stink. Yeah, it's gonna just smell up the whole area.

[A]

Chit chatters. You ever sat next to a chit chatter?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And how do you shut them down?

[B]

You just ignore them, Sack like they're not talking to you.

[A]

You act like you're deaf. That's just act like stolen disability.

[B]

Yeah, I think you listen to him for the first couple of comments and then you say the Steve Martin line.

[C]

Look, I just, I'm not much of a conversationalist and I've got some reading I really need to.

[A]

My aunt, she was not a very big conversationalist either. And she, you know, she lived. She lived in Iowa for many years, but she eventually moved to Idaho. And while she was there, I think that they were involved in some sort of farming or it was. It was some kind of thing like that. So I identify. I know what you're saying, you know, because she wasn't a conversationalist either. And. And so what are you. What are you reading there? I noticed that you were reading something.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

Yeah, I've sat next to many of them and I can't wait for the flight to end.

[B]

They usually get the hint, don't they? If you just.

[A]

No, there's a few people who don't get the hint.

[C]

No. I was with one not that long ago and she kept talking and talking and I got to the point where I wasn't even acknowledging what she was saying, but she was still talking. She would still just launch into another story. There's really nothing you can do about it at that point, unless you want to be rude.

[B]

She. Huh?

[C]

It was a she. Yeah, man, she had a lot of stories and none of them were interesting. None hot. No, no.

[A]

If she was, you would have been

[C]

all that would have been fine.

[B]

Really? Well, you know, I find that I

[C]

would have fully engaged.

[A]

This one is for you, George.

[B]

Why me?

[A]

Drink in moderation on a plane. Because I've seen you get on a plane and just start pounding them down. And you got to remember when you're up there in the sky, alcohol hits differently.

[B]

Yeah, it does.

[A]

And you can get a lot.

[B]

I don't pound drinks quicker. I can't remember the last time I had a drink. On a plane.

[A]

And then I'll end with this one because I had this one happen to me on my last flight. And it usually is a kid. This. In this scenario, they have a guy sticking his bare foot through the seats onto my armrest.

[C]

What?

[A]

I've had kids do this, but I've not had a human adult that sees the armrest in the row ahead of him as his foot rest, as his hassock.

[B]

That's a good way to get a sprained ankle.

[A]

You would karate chop their ankle.

[B]

I just twist it.

[C]

I've had kids kick the back of my seat relentlessly, and I will. I'm not sure I've ever said anything, but I'll turn around a lot and look at them.

[A]

I hate the dirty look. Turn around. Just say something if you're gonna say something.

[C]

I love giving those kids dirty looks.

[A]

There's something fun about childish. All right. And then finally, I will end with this because I thought of you when I saw the story. This podcast is probably the only podcast I know that's against cancer, right?

[C]

Probably.

[A]

Unanimously.

[B]

We're all against it.

[A]

Against cancer. Particularly eye cancer.

[C]

Sounds awful.

[A]

We've got to cure eye cancer. And thankfully, there is a scientist in China.

[B]

This ought to be good.

[C]

What?

[A]

Yes, it's good because it's fighting cancer. I'll just read you.

[B]

The headline is either using sperm or breast milk. That's my prediction.

[A]

Can I please continue?

[C]

I'm sorry. Go ahead.

[A]

Interrupting science. We should listen to the science.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Scientists turn pig semen.

[C]

You were right.

[A]

Extract.

[B]

We stuff the play.

[A]

We guess what they call into eyedrops that kill cancer in mice.

[C]

Hold on. I gotta think about this for a moment.

[B]

I'd rather go blind pig semen than

[A]

to have someone doing that to a pig right in front of you, aiming it at your face.

[B]

I don't want a pig doing that.

[A]

As they're trying to show pig, you know, hot pictures of other pigs.

[B]

We use pig. Yeah.

[A]

What would you show a pig? Like if. If you show pornography to an animal,

[C]

you'd show them porkography.

[A]

Okay. It's handcrafted. Do animals.

[B]

That's funny right there.

[A]

I don't care who. First of all, do animals respond to pornography?

[C]

Probably not, but I don't know if that's ever been tested.

[A]

There was that story out of. I think it was China again, where they had to show pandas pornography to get them in the mood because they're trying so hard.

[B]

Pandas to go extinct. Pumping, I think. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But that was showing them.

[B]

That would be Animal Panda porn.

[A]

So just. I guess pandas are the only other species that look at porn. And does it work on them? I mean, if they see others doing it the way that it. Why does it do it in humans and it wouldn't in other mammals?

[C]

Maybe it does.

[B]

Can they all see the screen like we do? I don't know about that.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I mean, like most people, it's right

[A]

in front of them.

[B]

Yeah, but they don't see a screen the same way. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Not really. You're saying they have a different refresh.

[B]

Every dog or cat walks into a living room and sits down and watches tv. They don't see the screen the same way I have.

[A]

I do think that's weird because like all hell can be going on on the TV and you'll have a kick ass sound system that has gunshots and car crashes going on. And they don't respond at all. Dogs just like meanwhile, if they heard a real gunshot right outside that window, they would be all freaked out about it.

[B]

So they know it's fake somehow.

[A]

How do they know that?

[B]

I don't know. Now we did have a dog that watched tv, especially cartoons, and she would watch the screen for about 10 minutes or so. It was really freaky.

[A]

Well, they have cat TV now too.

[C]

Cats will change.

[A]

Cats will respond to cat TV. Okay, but they don't respond to people TV people TV to non cat people TV.

[C]

Don't dogs also have 10,000 times sensitive hearing than us? So maybe their hearing is so advanced it can tell fake sounds from a TV to reel from outside?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but boy, yeah, you can throw them off with a knock on the coffee table and then all hell breaks loose. They think someone's at the front door.

[A]

So anyway, let's get back to pig semen. In your face, George. If they're developing this pig semen eye drops that can deliver the cancer drugs to the back of the eye. It's very hard to get cancer medicines to the back of the eye. Like if you have a retinoblastoma, which is retina cancer. So right now we have to deliver it with a needle through the eyeball into the retinal area.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And.

[C]

Which sounds awful.

[A]

And with this pig semen you can get it somehow it soaks in better and can get.

[B]

Okay, wait, they have not tried this on humans though yet, have they? No, it's tried it on mice.

[A]

But yes, if a mouth, if a human developed mouse cancer, this would work on them because they've only Tested on mouse cancer so far.

[C]

And so once the pig semen is injected into the eyeball. Baby pigs grow in the back of the eyeball?

[A]

Yes. And they feed off the mouse. Mouse cancer in the back of your eye.

[B]

Hey, what the hell, dude? I don't want to shot a pig semen. That was Mickey Mouse getting a treatment.

[C]

What just happened?

[A]

I don't know, but I think we

[B]

just won the podcast world.

[A]

What happened Right there in the podcast. And we wish you and all of

[B]

your family tried to help you out with your story.

[A]

George has just canceled the podcast.

[B]

That was an ender.

[C]

We had an ender.

[A]

That was the ender. Thank you to Peter Welon and thanks for listening.

[B]

Thanks, Peter.

[A]

Back Cop Back catalog is available. The end. No, no, it's not. Oh, hey, it's pig seam and Mickey.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

I can see big semen. Mickey. Oh, you had eye cancer, did you?

[B]

I'll be trying to.

[A]

I, A, B, C. Yeah. Oh, look at that. He's reading all the letters with a Z. He's struggling now. He's. He's a little made in usa. Oh, you can read all the way that small at the end. Okay, well, thank you, eye cancer Mickey.

[B]

See ya.

[A]

Good luck with your pig, Seaman.

[B]

Thank you. The Hammer alley podcast. An 80s flashback mockumentary.

[A]

Back in the 80s, there were a thousand bands trying to to make it in the world of rock. But there was one band that had it all. Hammer Alley. Whatever happened to Hammer Alley?

[B]

How did they go from top of the rock? I'm looking for a music video. They're a band from 1987, Hammer Alley. Ever heard of them? To rock bottom.

[A]

Dude, I was born in 1987.

[B]

I can't believe he's doing this. Hammer Alley. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.