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Sponsor/Announcer
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George
know how the sausage is made or how the semen is harvested.
Gordon
Hey there. Welcome to episode 47 of the Musers, the Podcast. We're your three podcasting buddies. I'm Gordon.
George
That was my college number, 47.
Gordon
For some reason, Fake Michael Irvin is joining us.
George
That's right, Michael. That's true. I'm George.
Craig
And I'm Craig. And Michael, 47 was a terrible number for a wide receiver.
George
I know. It's bad.
Craig
Makes no sense.
Gordon
Did you choose that, Michael, or did.
George
No. This is what they gave me when I was a freshman.
Gordon
You kind of mumbled there a little bit.
George
I did, buddy. I did.
Gordon
Boy, that is like the worst football number.
Craig
Yes.
Gordon
Of all of them, practically.
George
Name another good47.
Craig
I really can't. Off the top of my head, I can't.
Gordon
Isn't 67 a bad number too though?
Craig
Yeah, it is.
Gordon
Are all ending in sevens bad numbers? Because 27 seems a little weird.
George
Okay. For a football.
Gordon
37 seems a little weird to me. 47, 50. I think the ending in seven is a bad.
George
87 is a decent tight end.
Gordon
Number 87 is okay.
Craig
97 is not bad for a defensive lineman.
Gordon
Yeah.
Craig
17 is not great for a quarterback. Seven was Elway.
George
27's okay.
Gordon
Seven's okay because it's a single digit.
Craig
Yeah.
George
Yeah.
Gordon
What's the worst single digit number for a football player? Six.
George
Yes.
Gordon
No, five.
George
I think five's bad too.
Craig
Nine.
Gordon
Romo was nine though, and I thought it looked cool.
George
Yeah.
Gordon
Oh, okay. Wait, nine is worse than five?
Craig
Yeah, I think so.
Gordon
I don't know about that.
George
There's been some nines though. I can't name a five.
Craig
Five. You look faster.
George
It's too wide.
Gordon
Make a lot of sense.
Craig
Nine is five's too wide. Nine's too big of a number. It's the highest of the single digits. So it makes you look slower.
Gordon
No, I think that it looks faster because it looks like, you know, with the tail of the nine, it looks like it's running off to one side. Looks like it's darting away.
Craig
Here's how I can prove this. A linebacker wearing 55 looks a lot faster than a lineman wearing 99.
Gordon
Well, yes, but that's not due to the nines, necessarily.
George
55 looks faster than 59? As a linebacker, yes, for sure. Okay.
Craig
Absolutely. And if a linebacker were wearing 99, he'd look slower than hit the guy next to him wearing 55.
Gordon
Okay. Who looks faster than 99 or the 97 guy?
Craig
The 97 guy.
Gordon
How about the 98 guy? I think 99 looks faster than 98, maybe. See? So I'm telling you, it has nothing to do with. It just has. I don't even think scientists could figure out why one seems faster than the other. Well, it doesn't follow one single principle.
Craig
We all agree one number one looks the fastest, right? Yeah, it's very sleek.
Gordon
Does it?
Craig
It's aerodynamic.
George
Although zero starting to look kind of fast to me.
Gordon
Okay, what looks faster, one or 11?
Craig
One. Unless Danny White's wearing.
Gordon
If one is the fastest, though, then two ones is doubly fast.
Craig
No, because the more numbers on your jersey, the more weighted down you are.
George
Trust me. He's thought about this a lot.
Gordon
Well. And the three of us have had huge disagreements, almost friendship ending disagreements over numbers. Over the zero and double zero thing.
Craig
Right.
Gordon
I'm the outlier here. And I'm the only one of the three of us that has a problem with double zero.
George
Yeah. I don't know what to say about it.
Gordon
I don't understand why you don't have more of a problem with double zero.
George
It just doesn't bother me.
Gordon
It logically makes me crazy that 0 and double 0 are the same numeric value. And yet we just accept that. Oh, no, that's two different numbers. So the Portland, two different numbers trailblazers
Craig
the other several seasons ago, put five guys on the court, they were 0, double 0, 1, 2 and 3. The lowest possible.
Gordon
Just crazy combination you could have. So insane. Will we get to a point? Okay. Would you support if we had a number one on the team and then we had a 1.0 on on the team? No, that would be crazy to you, right?
George
I'm not going to go that far, no.
Gordon
Okay. With same numeric value.
George
Yeah.
Craig
There used to be an old guard for UT Austin and San Antonio in the NBA named Johnny Moore. M O O R E. And he wore double zero because of the two O's in his name. I thought that was cool.
George
Yeah. And who was was it Kenny Burrows. Was that who it was?
Guest/Caller
Double zero?
Craig
I think so, yeah.
George
For some reason that always looked cool to me.
Craig
Robert Parish was double zero.
George
Yeah. So I kind of. I think it's okay.
Gordon
So they've allowed it for a long time.
Craig
Yeah.
Gordon
I thought that was more of a recent deal.
Craig
No, it's for a long time. Been universally agreed upon that it's cool.
Gordon
All right, what about in football? The double zero has been common.
Craig
Not common.
George
Who is the Cleveland Brown? It was double zero way back in the day. I don't know.
Gordon
Jim Brown.
George
That's.
Gordon
We'll use it as a placeholder, but no Jim Brown. Or refrigerator. Not refrigerator. Perry, though. All right, let's get to this week's episode's letter of the week. I do have a couple of emails here before I get to our letter of the week. This one from our listener, Rich. He said he had to fly to Missoula, Montana to help load and then drive a U haul from Missoula to Fort Worth because his daughter and her husband are moving down here and they had this little small car and a toddler. And so he, being the big man that he is, volunteers to go up there.
George
And that's really nice. I told my kids I retired from
Gordon
moving and drive their stuff down. Well, it was a 27 hour drive and he said that, that it turned out to be extremely fun because he saved up episodes of this podcast and he started at episode 13, Pet Peeves, and listened all the way through to episode 29, An Appreciation of Women. He said this was a tremendous help. Time flew and I never felt tired. I of course stopped twice for sleep in Billings and Pueblo, Colorado. But musers, it would have been a horrible experience if not for your podcast. Thanks and keep up the good work. Thank you, Rich.
Craig
Okay, that's great.
Gordon
And let that serve as a reminder to people that our entire catalog is online. We do that as a service, make our past episodes available to people. A lot of podcasts don't have that out there.
Craig
Yeah, most of them burn their past episodes. It's like a week long.
Gordon
That's right. And then this one from P1 David. He says about the worried episode that we did. You know how you still worry? What do you worry about? He said one thing that was touched on was being worried about your child picking the right person to be with Junior. You shared that about your daughter who's well out of dating age now, but a future worry that you just hope she finds the right person. And he shares his personal story with that. You know, you Want them to be someone that the family gets along with because that person will become your child's everything. They're in a relationship with them. He said. My oldest son has not spoken to his mother or me going on three years now.
Craig
Wow.
Gordon
We've tried to stay in touch, but the text messages are never answered and voicemails not replied to. He's an uncle who has never met his nephew and in the near future his niece. So being worried that being worried scenario is true and there's nothing I can say or do to make him change his opinion or being involved with his family. It was said that eventually they'll figure things out on their own. But now I worry if it's too late to mend what's been broken.
Craig
How sad.
Gordon
Yeah.
George
I'd like to think it's never too late. Some point they'll find some sort of resolution, but that's really sad.
Gordon
Yeah. When he's missed all those years. And what kind of resentments have brewed on the family side now that this has happened?
George
Yeah.
Gordon
Now we're. I'm taking P1 David's word for this, that there's not some other reason too. It's not just the evil step. What do you call it? That's not daughter in law.
George
Yeah.
Gordon
So I'd say stepdaughter. Yeah. Yeah. Or. Or step husband. Right.
George
Whatever it is.
Gordon
Yeah. Whatever it is. But yeah. But yeah. How tough is that?
George
That's a tough one.
Gordon
Missing huge chunk of the family life because there's this disagreement that's going on based around someone's spouse.
George
And I've told you guys, and it's not just because they listen to the podcast, but my wife and I really did hit the jackpot with our daughter in laws and I'm so thankful for that. And I think that was one of the things that, you know, as we got to know them, that I just appreciated about them. That's what you want. You want someone who's going to love your son or daughter like you do.
Craig
Right.
George
And when you have that, it's just a. It's a wonderful thing.
Craig
Hope we get that.
George
I bet you will.
Craig
As I said in that episode, I just fear her getting in with the wrong crowd or eventually meeting the wrong guy that she thinks is great, but he turns out to be abusive or something. I would just break my heart and there'd be very little I could do about it.
Gordon
Yeah. And the abusers tend to isolate that person from their family. They will sow division there also. So then you're not only you're cut off from her and she's in an abusive relationship.
Craig
Right.
Gordon
So good luck with all that, Jay.
George
But, you know, and there's a fine line in there too. As the parent, you were not marrying them. They may not be your ideal person, but they're your son or daughter's ideal person. So maybe there's some.
Gordon
They may annoy the hell out of you, but if they're nice to your child and they're not trying to separate them from their family, then you gotta take a back seat and go along with it. Yeah, I'm sure as a grandparent, you have to follow a bunch, whole bunch of rules that you think are maybe a little bit ridiculous from time to time.
George
Yeah, we, you know, we've matched up okay on that so far, but I, I do kind of enjoy the chaos when I kind of look, you gave
Gordon
her a spoonful of non organic yogurt.
George
Well, yeah. What's the.
Gordon
We're not gonna spend the next three Christmases with you.
George
That hadn't happened yet though.
Gordon
And you have sons, so I would think that in my experience, it seems like every family I know, the mother of the children determines the social calendar and which holidays are spent where. Like they have 51% of the vote, don't they? Yeah, they seem to, they seem to be able to control.
George
Yes.
Gordon
Which goes where it always defaults to the mommy's, where she's going to take the grandkids. Where does she want them to be for.
George
And that's one thing about being a grandparent is we have to realize they have their own family now. So sometimes, you know, it's not always going to work with our schedule and yeah, that's that whole dynamic. Because if we had our way. Well, yeah, you'll come up here every time. Yeah, it'd be good with us, right? Yeah.
Gordon
And then they stay with you not only every weekend, but then every week. And then you're like, well, now we're seeming to be paying for everything. Lodge here for you guys. All right, this actually is our letter of the week. This one right here that I hold in my formerly nicotine stained hand.
Craig
Very exciting.
George
Heard that before.
Gordon
This was forwarded to me by our producer, Peter Weldon, and he said this is the most Gordon email ever comes to us from P. From P1. We'll let that part.
Craig
Yeah.
Gordon
This comes to us from our listener Patrick. He says, dear Musers, I was recently catching up on some recent episodes. Heard you wondering at the end of episode 44 about how the scientists Collected pig semen to use in the drops to fight eye cancer. This. I think George brought this up. Well, Patrick Continues. I'm a veterinarian who studied animal science in undergrad at Virginia Tech and unfortunately I had to witness exactly how this is done. The harvesting of the the pig creaming. One day my junior year, I was at the swine barn for a lab Swine barn for a livestock production class. Livestock production class. They have recording.
George
Yeah,
Gordon
livestock production class I was taking part of the lesson that day was how they collect bore for use in artificial insemination. The class gathered around a pen with a metal saddle looking thing in the center of it and a grad student then walked into the pen, sprayed female pig pheromones all over the saddle. The barn manager then walked out a boar who proceeded to sniff around the saddle before finally mounting it with his two front legs on the saddle and his back leg still on the ground. The unfortunate grad student that knelt down next to him with a special bag in her hand. She had to catch it and once the boar got excited enough, she put the bag over his penis and held it in place with her hand until he was finished.
Craig
What a terrible job.
Gordon
When everything was done, the barn manager then reached down by where the boar was standing and picked up a gelatinous object. He explained that it was the gel plug that boars produced to keep everything inside the female.
George
Oh my gosh.
Gordon
And mentioned that the boars like to eat it after being collected.
George
Delete anything.
Craig
Yeah.
Gordon
Before any of us had time to process what he had just said, he then threw the plug in front of the boar who happily gobbled it up, which was truly one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in my life. Hope this helps clear things up and reminds you to say a prayer for the poor grad students who are working hard to fight eye cancer. P.S. p.S. Neither the grad student, which was the hot girl who was down there with the pig, nor the barn manager wore gloves throughout this entire process.
George
How could you not wear gloves?
Gordon
Wow.
Craig
Maybe you want it to be more enjoyable for the hog.
Gordon
Yeah, maybe the boar prefers skin on skin.
George
You don't want to know how to.
Gordon
It just ruins it for me if you hey, please don't put on the latex glove. It just I lose a little sensation.
George
You really don't want to know how the sausage is made or how the semen is harvested?
Craig
No, you don't.
Gordon
That will be a new Muser Podcast T shirt.
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Craig
Another pina colada.
Gordon
Yes, please.
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Gordon
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Gordon
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There's a thief in these finals. Somebody who's been locking up all series long.
George
You got a hunch on who it is?
Guest/Caller
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Gordon
Okay. All right. Start with a fun fact. I always like to do this. Fun fact. Nobody born after 1935 has ever walked on the moon.
Craig
Okay, that makes sense.
George
Yeah. Bunch of olds.
Gordon
Kind of crazy to think about. Advanced as we are, you have to go back to 1935. And before to find someone who's actually born then that could walk on the moon.
Craig
It is wild. But I'm guessing that will change in about three years.
Gordon
Yes.
George
Yeah.
Gordon
Yeah.
George
In the next five years, that'll change.
Gordon
And a fun brain tickler for you in a room of 23 people. Okay, let's say we're in a room with. You're in a room with 22 other people.
George
So 23. Andme.
Craig
Yes. That's a good one. I liked it.
Gordon
I think George is scoring today.
Craig
He is.
Gordon
He's doing well. What are the chances that two people in that room will share a birthday? Off the top of your head, what do you think?
Craig
I would say it would be. I'd say it'd be one in five hundred or one in a thousand.
Gordon
Okay.
Craig
I'd say it'd be very slim.
George
One in 23 people in a room,
Gordon
what are the chances that two of them share the same.
Craig
Because there are 365 possible birthdays. 366. There could be a leap year birthday.
Gordon
True.
Craig
Dad. In that room.
George
I'm going to say something crazy, like one in four.
Gordon
What?
Craig
I'm going to go even crazier. It's like one in a billion.
Gordon
Okay. All right. I've got two guys who have checked out of the podcast already. Thank you.
George
I was actually trying.
Gordon
It's 50%.
Craig
No.
George
Okay.
Craig
So I was closer.
Gordon
And then if you bump that number up to 50 people in the room, then the odds jump to 97% that two of them will share the same birth.
Craig
I don't understand that. How is that possible? That makes no sense.
Gordon
If you go to 75 people, the chances are 99.97%.
George
Dang.
Gordon
That's.
Craig
Well, that's.
Gordon
That's a vertical.
George
Let's do that next big party we're at.
Craig
That doesn't make mathematic sense to me.
Gordon
Oh, that's what makes it.
George
That's why I said 1 and 4, because 365. But you have 23, so it's like 1. And my math wasn't very good, but somewhere in there.
Gordon
I think you're onto something. George, in his way of thinking, is onto something because it's. Yeah, you got 365, but then you have the 23 people. So 23 possible birthdays there. And then, because it's any one person, you're talking about two people having it, and then you double that, and then you get to 50%. So you were saying that it's 25% and then you double that. And it's 50%.
George
I had written down 19 3.
Gordon
19 3. That's the show work.
Craig
But if you have 365 possibilities and 23 people in the room. So now don't you have a much greater possibility of the other 342 days being out there that nobody's going to. It just doesn't make any sense to me.
Gordon
You see there?
Craig
I don't think this is correct.
Gordon
I think it absolutely is correct. As a matter of fact. I know it's correct. I know it's correct.
George
We read it on Reddit.
Craig
So we have 23 people right here at work right now. We can get us all in a room and odds are someone shares a birthday.
Gordon
Yes, we ought to try that experiment.
Craig
I don't buy it, but yeah, let's try it.
Gordon
Well, now if we get 23 people in a room and then two people don't share birthday, you're gonna go, see, I told you it was fake and
Craig
of course I will.
Gordon
But the thing is saying it's a 50% chance that two people will share the same birthday.
Craig
Okay, then we'll go get another 23 different.
Gordon
If you get 75 people, then it's a 99.97 chance.
Craig
I'm not buying it or something like that.
Gordon
Yeah, it's 99 something. So yeah, it's a fun fact. See, didn't that tickle your brain?
George
Yes.
Gordon
Okay. Things I've noticed that have changed in my world, I used to be a big two wheeled suitcase snob. Have you known many of those?
George
Yes. Yeah. I, because I have a two wheeled suitcase which I think is fine. And somebody that I.
Gordon
She has opinions on it.
Craig
Yeah.
George
She goes, I don't see how you put up with that.
Gordon
Okay, all right. I was the same way. I thought that two wheeled suitcases the way to go. All the experts in the travel industry say, yeah, you got to go with the two wheeled suitcase. That is the one you're a. They look down upon four wheel suitcase people. The two wheel suitcase people.
Craig
The two wheel is. You tilt and pull it on tilt and pull.
Gordon
Right.
George
That's what I have.
Gordon
You get more interior room in your suitcase because of that. And so it's better for you traveling and so on. But I recently took a person of my choosing to the airport and they had these two big huge ridiculous rolling suitcases over packers, different kinds of shoes.
George
So you took a woman to the
Gordon
airport and of course I was the luggage porter for some reason. And I'm taking these things to the airport and I Realized this is truly the superior way. They were four wheeled models. I didn't have to do the tilt back and then worry about the dragon's tail that I have behind me of the people stepping on it and hitting it and me getting hung up on somebody else's suitcase as I go past. And they just spin so nicely and freely through there. And I just realized, you know what? I give up. I'm. Now I think I want a four wheel suitcase. I'm giving in. I'm making a huge sacrifice in my life. Giving up this identity that I thought I had of a two wheeled guy.
George
Yeah, I can see the advantages of the four wheel. I just like the look of my suitcase. It's really convenient.
Gordon
The four wheel looks stupid though.
Craig
Yeah, but they're more maneuverable.
Gordon
They're really maneuverable but they also look stupid when they start pirouetting on you and they're spinning around and you don't. I don't know. But they are just more convenient and I understand why 95% of the world is four wheel suitcase.
George
Is that what it is now?
Craig
Wow.
Gordon
I made that stat up. To be fair, that's different than the birthday thing, which is true.
Craig
Whenever I see someone going through an airport pushing a four wheel suitcase kind of out in front of them, to me I think they are showing off.
Gordon
Really?
Craig
Yes. I think that they're. They got that suitcase half for show and half for convenience.
Gordon
Show. What's the show that they're showing?
Craig
How much more maneuverable and easy it is to push compared to your pulling behind the two?
Gordon
I don't think so. I, I also judge them harshly the same way you do, but in a different way. I just always think they look weak.
Craig
Yeah, there's something to that.
Gordon
Something. I just assume there's some atrophy there that has been diagnosed.
George
Like it's a suitcase with training wheels.
Gordon
Well, they just, yeah, they just look like I can't bear the weight into any of it. So I just needed to set all the weight on the four wheels.
Craig
Right.
Gordon
And then I'll touch it and tell it where I want it to go.
George
Right.
Craig
I can't carry it, I can't pull it. I just have to guide it.
Gordon
I don't know. I have no muscle mass.
George
The two wheeler does. Have you ever have emergency stop where you hit just a little something and it puts more pressure on your hand and it just flops over?
Gordon
Oh, yes, yes. You lose the grip of it because you hit a rock.
Craig
Yeah.
George
And it's usually as you're Trying to go up the ramp to get out of everyone's way.
Gordon
And you're gonna go. And it goes face first. It's begging you for death, Please, like
George
you're losing a trailer. Put me out of my misery.
Gordon
I'm outdated technology.
George
Please, God, go to four wheels.
Gordon
So I noticed that I've also. Have you noticed that it's also. You never have the experience of having to rub the dollar on the side of the vending machine these days now, because we mostly use credit cards.
Craig
Right.
Gordon
Do you remember the battle you used to have?
George
Oh, my gosh.
Gordon
With you only had $1.
George
You have to put it in just right. And you're thinking, the slower you put
Gordon
it in, you'll spend seven minutes trying to do this. Like you're repairing a Swiss watch. Trying to get that thing in there just right to ease it in there. And then the time you think you got it, oh, I took it. It took it finally. And then it spits it back out. And it didn't have to reject it so hard.
Craig
Right.
Gordon
It could have gently issued it back to you.
George
Barely put it in there. It would take it right out.
Gordon
It's like it takes it real gently, as if, oh, thank you for this gift. Thank you. And then spits it right back out. It vomits the dollar.
Craig
And you'd be turning your Nikes. You're asking people, hey, does anybody have a crisp dollar bill?
Gordon
Just trade me, please, please. And they never look at you like you're on the up and up. Right. They always look at, man, where's that dollar been?
Craig
What kind of counterfeit money is he trying to pass on?
Gordon
It's either counterfeit or it's been in his shoe for two years.
George
I can't remember the last time I used a dollar changer.
Craig
Yeah, I know.
Gordon
Because it's basically gone away. Yeah, because we use credit cards. Sad.
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Gordon
I was thinking about that has gone away. There was a time in this world where we used to always hear this sound.
Craig
Yeah.
Gordon
What happened to the Carlos?
Craig
So annoying.
George
Gosh.
Gordon
Why did every car alarm sound the same? Like nobody branched out into the sound palette and make something different. Every car alarm sounded like that.
George
And what happened to them? Why did we just stop? Because every car now has the honking horn alarm.
Gordon
That sound was a bunch of aftermarket alarms that were put on cars. So. And they were all vibration based. So it would be the rocking of the car that would set off the alarm. And that's why when a big bolt of thunder would go by or anything like that would set off multiple car alarms. And when car alarms first came out, you know, it would everyone would look over to see if somebody just forgot to turn off their alarm. Because you would have to turn off the alarm before you opened your car door or it would go off, right?
George
Yeah, right.
Gordon
There were two separate things. It wasn't when you unlocked your car, it automatically disarmed the alarm because there were two different systems.
George
I never had one.
Gordon
Never ever.
George
I never had aftermarket car alarm.
Craig
No I don't think I did either have it, so.
Gordon
But. So you used to look to see if somebody just forgot and they're standing outside the car and then you became so annoyed with the car alarm sound that you would hope that people were breaking into that person's car.
Craig
Yes.
Gordon
Because it annoyed you so much.
Craig
And it got to a point where I just tuned it out because I would hear it so often. I just assume that was thunder or that was somebody accidentally brushed up against it. It would never cause you to go look to see if a car was actually being robbed.
Gordon
Never. You were not a good citizen.
Craig
No.
Gordon
You were not part of the web of people who are looking after other people's things.
Craig
No.
George
That was like a big business, wasn't it? Because think of the early advertisers when we started in radio. Hey, get a car alarm. 99 bucks.
Gordon
Yeah, yeah. Car alarm installation was huge business.
George
Yeah.
Gordon
But now every new car, I think, basically comes with an integrated alarm, which is a much better system now because it's in a. It's not the vibration based. It's if someone actually tries to start your car and takes off with it and they don't have the. There's an immobilizer chip in the car, you know, that has to match with the fob and all that. And so it's a better system. You hardly ever hear the false alarm on the car alarm much anymore.
George
I remember the last time I heard that.
Gordon
It's pretty rare these days. But I was reminded of that because I recently got a new car of my own choosing and I found out that the alarm was not turned on from the car factory. It comes disabled or disarmed. Yeah. And I would have never known this throughout the ownership of this car had I not been kind of a car guy and look on the forums and do all this.
George
Are you talking the honk alarm or
Gordon
is it the honk alarm? No, no, no. It's not one of those obnoxious ones.
George
Okay.
Gordon
But even the. The integrated honk alarm was not armed when I got the car, so I had to turn it on. And there's always some ridiculous weird procedure. Okay. Turn the car on, roll down the window, open the passenger side door for three seconds, and then you got a long. Press the traction button. It's a whole sequence of launching a space shuttle to get the thing turned on.
George
Why?
Gordon
I don't know. I don't know why they do it this way, but that's what they did. So I had to arm the car alarm and I just Never would have known it. Somebody could have tried to break into the car and it never would have alerted me seven years from now had I not read about this. Now, I don't know how common it is across brands, but it was common enough in my. This one particular car that I had that there were people were mentioning on the forums. Don't forget to activate your car, huh?
Craig
Boy, Now I gotta go look at my car, see if my alarm's on.
Gordon
Yeah, yeah.
George
Do you read every page of the guidebook or the manual?
Gordon
I guarantee you 1/10 of 1% read every page of that manual.
Craig
Right?
George
It's a page.
Gordon
I think even that's low.
George
I don't even read it until something comes up, like, how do you. Where's the spare tire? Or something like that.
Gordon
There was a day where people used to read the manual to find out something of the maintenance schedule. But now I think people buy a car thinking, well, whenever the oil change is due, I'm sure it will come up somewhere on this dash system. I'm sure it will tell its responsibility to tell me when it needs to
George
be taken care of or how to reset the. You've changed your oil. Which one is it now?
Gordon
Yeah, once again, you gotta sort through about 50 menus to find how to reset the oil. Reminder.
George
You know the worst function ever for a vehicle that you locked or did you ever have a car that if you locked it a certain way, the windows would roll halfway down?
Gordon
Oh, yeah, a lot of cars come with that feature.
George
Why is that?
Craig
What is that?
Gordon
What do you mean? No, no, no, It's. As a matter of fact, I just did this to my car. I had to buy an aftermarket solution because I bought a car that has a lot of people, you know, who come up with aftermarket solutions for it. It's kind of a popular car for modders, and it did not come with the factory option of holding down your unlock button to roll down your windows. It's a great feature. On a hot day when you're approaching your car and you don't have remote start, you can vent your car out as you're walking up to it and get all that hot air out of there.
George
And remote start is great, too. Yeah, I like that.
Gordon
But I swear, see, I don't have that because I got a stick shift. And you can't really start a car with a stick shift or unless you sail it through the garage wall,
Guest/Caller
but
George
you know what I'm talking. I thought it was on the lock function. Somehow. It would.
Gordon
The lock function is roll them all the way up.
George
Okay.
Gordon
You can roll them back up with the lock button, or you press the unlock button and hold it down to roll it down. Each car may be different, but that's a common way that people do that because. And there's a way to set it also. If you go through the. Maybe the obd. O O D, B. What is it? Is it OBD or ODB now?
George
I think it's obli D. Obla da.
Gordon
No, no. The onboard diagnostics obd. You can maybe reprogram that to go all the way down or halfway down, depending on what you want to do.
George
Okay. I just know that it happened to me, and I knew friends and family members that I guess hit unlock when they thought they hit lock and they go inside and then there's a rainstorm and you go out the next day you got a flooded car. Okay. That makes sense. If you hit unlock to lower your windows and start venting the car. That makes sense.
Gordon
You know, another hot sports opinion I have about cars. I think sunroofs are one of the worst deals we ever had. And it is so hard. It seems like it's harder now to find a car without a sunroof.
Craig
Yes.
Gordon
If you want, like, the options of. You want some nice options, like, you know, ventilated seats in Texas is nice. But to get that, you have to go up to a trim that then has a sunroof in it. And you can't do a sunroof. Delete.
Craig
I used to think I wanted a sunroof in every car. It was mandatory. And then once I got that car, I never used the sunroof ever. I may use it once and then think, eh, it's kind of annoying. And then never used it again. But yet I feel like I need to have one.
George
You're like the cowboys with their stadium.
Gordon
Yes.
George
They never open up the roof. I. I like it for the. I bet it's 20 days a year. I sunroof it while driving.
Gordon
Really?
George
And I love it.
Craig
Wow.
Gordon
I think you're an outlier because it's
George
kind of convertible like to me.
Gordon
But we're in Texas, and it's just.
George
I know.
Guest/Caller
We don't have enough Texas.
Gordon
Many hot days.
George
Yeah. But I love opening the sunroof when it's like 55 or 60. Perfect.
Gordon
There's something about the sunroof being open and driving. Let's say it's on a nice day that just is annoying to me. I'd much rather have the windows down on a nice day. Than have the sunroof open on a nice day.
George
There's something about it. It has a little guard that flips up to. To keep the wind.
Gordon
Yeah, the deflector.
George
Yeah.
Gordon
See I also, the car before this one had a really annoying sunroof shade, you know, that you would pull. But this, it had a manual shade. It didn't automatically close with the sunroof kind of thing. And it was always. There was no way to make it stay in place. So as you drove and accelerated it would creep back. So about five times during your drive, you're always up there and it's halfway open and you're having to shut the shade to keep that sun from blazing down on you.
Craig
I don't like the sunroof open or the windows open. I want to be as isolated from nature as I possibly can while I drive.
Gordon
Oh gosh, you ever. I used to do the gag with my mom who was always carting us around everywhere when I was a kid of rolling my window down which caused that incredible percussive buffeting inside the car. What? Mom, I just wanted fresh air. You'd always tell me to go out and get some fresh air. I'm getting it now, mom.
Craig
Our daughter has just learned how to operate the rear window by her seat.
George
Used to drive me crazy.
Craig
Rear window button. And she'll pop it down while we're on the highway. And then my eardrums burst and it
George
just pouring out of dancers window.
Gordon
Yeah, you need to do the window lock. You gotta get the window lock.
Craig
I do that now, but she's. Sometimes when I've forgotten it or taking it off, she'll sneak in a couple of attacks.
Gordon
So the other thing that, that I did to this car, in addition to it enabling the alarm, which wasn't from the factory, it's a very controversial thing of removing the telematics unit.
Craig
What is that?
Gordon
And almost every car has these. Now this is. I think this was in Consumer Reports. I'm not sure where this didn't put it on this printout. But all the cars basically spy on you and no one knows about it. Mainly, I mean you get a car and you don't think they'll always do this thing. When I bought this last car, they said hey, don't forget to the sales guy saying this, hey, while we're here, go ahead and download our app on your phone. And I said wait, why, why do I need to do. What do you mean an app? He goes, no, that way you can do, you know, roll down your windows from your Phone. I got a fob to do that. I don't need to do that. Wait, you're not going to do the. The app? No, no, I don't want to do that. Okay, well, you need to sign a piece of paper that says that you're refusing to download the app. And I thought, well, this is really curious. I've just never heard about this before. So I started looking at it online. And what is the deal with the app? I could tell immediately. I obviously suspected this is a big data harvesting thing, right? I sign up for this app and it gives me something. It has the veneer of providing me a service, but it's obviously providing them a huge service. Otherwise I wouldn't be having be getting a little bit of flack for not signing up for it and having to sign a form saying that I refuse to do it. So I started investigating this and yeah, there was this big study that was done about the car companies and what they are doing to spy on you as a customer and how much they're harvesting from you and making money off of you on the back end of things. I'm going to read a little bit of this to you. From the weight. From your weight and facial expressions to your destination, cars collect a startling amount of data about you. Some of it may even raise your insurance costs. Cars used to mean freedom. It used to mean a chance for you to step away from the watchful eyes of your parents and enter a world where time and decisions were yours alone. But modern cars or computers on wheels and giant corporations are using them to suck up intimate details about your life and make more money. If you think driving today is a chance for solitude and independence, think again. Car companies will tell you themselves if you were to wade through their privacy policies. The information they harvest can include precise location data about everywhere you go, who's in the car with you, and what's on the radio, and whether you buckle your seatbelt, drive too fast, or brake too hard. Some can gather details you might not expect, like your weight, age, race, and financial expression. I'm sorry, facial expressions. Do you pick your nose? They can tell. Some cars have cameras on the inside pointed at the driver's seat. And most come with Internet connections that can ship off that data as soon as you drive in blissful ignorance. This is a privacy problem that can cost you money. Among the biggest customers for car data are insurance companies, and they're using it to charge some people higher prices. But there's no telling where your information is going. Some car companies admit they Sell your data, but they don't have to say who's buying it. Most consumers, experts say, have no idea that this is even happening. There was one expert. This was Darrell West, a senior fellow at the center for Technology Innovation at the Brookings institute in Washington, D.C. he said people would be shocked at the number of data points that their car collects and transmits to other either the manufacturer or to third party applications. It basically means your life can be recreated almost on a second by second basis as long as you're in that car. A federal law is actually about to increase the amount of data that your car can collect on you. It will soon require American car companies to install infrared biometric cameras and other systems to scan your body language, track your eyes and other aspects of your behavior, to detect whether you're too drunk or too tired to drive. But it will also open up a whole new trove of data about your health and your habits. And there are no rules limiting what the car companies can do with that information. And most of these cars now come with an Internet connection. They are wi fi enabled, and they can talk back to their home base whether you know it or not. So, you know, there is this benefit of, hey, you can let your car talk to your insurance company to possibly give you lower rates, which, that sounds good. But then all the additional information they're collecting about you, they just sell to other companies that may be interested in your weight, in your race, how you drive, who you're driving with, where you're going. Yeah, where are you going? Oh, you drove to this store. Well, all of a sudden, next thing you know, you, your phone is serving you up an ad that is convenient in your browser to a local store that's very near you.
Craig
So that's amazing.
Gordon
Car companies can also snoop on you when you connect your phone up to the infotainment system like CarPlay or Android Auto. You know, certain car companies will even tell you, you know, that, hey, we may collect a little data when you use your Apple CarPlay or your Android Auto. So. So in 2023, you know, you guys know Mozilla. I never know how to say it right. It's the browser. They make, the Firefox browser.
George
Okay.
Gordon
Anyway, they're interested in privacy and they examined the privacy policies of the 25 car brands, and every single one of them failed to meet privacy and security standards that Mozilla uses to compare brands. And they said that cars were the worst product category that they've ever reviewed for privacy.
Craig
Wow.
Gordon
Like, more than anything else, cars were Gathering more information on us and reselling it to others.
George
Wow. Okay. So do they sell this to the consumer as, hey, you ought to download this app? Because that way, in case you ever have trouble, Ford can locate you or whoever the car company is. And it's a safety thing.
Gordon
Yes, there's always some. Like I said, there'll always be something that they sell that is a benefit to you. But it's the iceberg under the water that they don't want you really looking at, which is that, yes, it's cool that you can unlock your car from your phone or you can check to make sure that your car is where you said it was going to be, you know, where you parked it. All these things. You know, it does have some slight upside, but the massive downside of this, that they are just mining us for everything we're worth and it's stuff that we don't really consent to. You know, if you were to ask, if they were to ask you, hey, do you mind if we collect everything about you while you're in your car? You would just say, no, I don't
George
want you to know.
Gordon
No, but they don't do that. They say, hey, wouldn't you like to. Whatever this little upside is, it's part of our service. It's part of our service. Would you like this free service? Oh, yeah, sure. Sounds good. Okay, just click, click, hit agree here. And yeah, you agree to that. 17 pages that somehow you read in half a second.
Craig
So now that we have this information, if you have recently bought a car and you downloaded the car dealers app or the car maker's app, can you just now decide, I don't want this anymore, and delete the app? Or are they forever tracking you now?
Gordon
There are some ways to do this. Now, each car brand, obviously there's different ways of doing it, how to go back in and opt out. And they do put some speed bumps in there for you. You got to go to this website, you got to call this number, you got to do this thing to opt out of something that you unknowingly opted into. But there are ways. So I would encourage everyone to research their brand and go online, find out how to get out of all this tracking this telemetric data that they're gathering on you at all times because it isn't fair, because people aren't really making an informed decision when it comes to this. And I know that the. And oddly enough, these car companies or whatever the big company is, you know, cars are being picked on in this particular scenario. It's a strange situation. Yeah. Your TV's spying on you all the time. And when you bring it up, for some reason, these big companies have allies and all of your friends who are right there to do the company's bidding for them to say, you're making too big a deal out of. Just do it. Do the thing. Do the thing the company wants. And I don't understand that. Why people, we find ourselves with that natural inclination to say, this is no big deal, just don't do anything wrong. Who cares if they know that I'm going to this place or that place or who I have in my car or who I call? They have my contact list and all my recent phone numbers and they know all that. Who cares if they know all that? I don't care.
George
So are you saying even if you don't download the app, if the car company offers that you still have to disable something in your. In your own system, which is what you.
Gordon
I did. I didn't opt in. And a lot of people buy used. Here's the other thing. I've read stories about people buying used cars and their. The former owner had signed up for the telemetric service, whatever it is, and so that company still has access to look at that car and wherever that car is at any time and can see it. And then the new owner has to go in and figure out how to opt out of something that somebody else opted into before them. And that just seems very unfair that this goes on, that it's up to you, the consumer, that has to do something to prevent a company from doing something to you that you never asked for.
Craig
You know, I think a lot of people have fatigue. They're tired of fighting the. I told you guys. I just saw Nate Bargazzi, the comedian on his tour last week, and he did a little bit on this. He said, I used to fight cookies. I was told never to accept cookies. And so I fought it just to fight it. And he said, now I accept all cookies. Do you have any cookies? He goes, bring them on. And he said, and if an app asks, can I track you? I say, absolutely.
Gordon
I'm at it.
Craig
Come on, I'll show you around.
Gordon
Because people get so fatigued, trying to maintain your own privacy in this world has become fatiguing.
George
Yeah. And you're right about the. Do you agree to this? Oh, yeah, that sounds fine. If we're going to have this TV service, we have to agree to this. What are you agreeing to?
Gordon
So there was this one guy who I think it Was. I want to say it was. I don't want to say the car company, in case I get it wrong. No, it was. It was GM that was accused of selling the car's location data without consent, even from their. Their drivers, and they sold it to Lexus Nexus. Okay. And then that's a porn star, isn't it?
George
That's.
Gordon
Well, I can't say what a real name is because that would assume that I know who it is.
Craig
Well, I think we all know right now.
Gordon
You do know who that is talking about, Alex Texas. But yeah, sold it to LexisNexis, which is a data broker that buys and sells, you know, details about customers. And so this guy, he got a copy of that data and he found 130 pages of information about him that detailed every trip that he and his wife took over six months. And he told the New York Times that after his insurance costs jumped 21%, an insurance agent told him, yeah, that data was a factor. We bought that from LexisNexis and use it to determine your rates.
George
Holy smokes.
Gordon
Yeah. It's unbelievable the amount that they gather on you now. I did not opt in to it. I obviously didn't download the app and I signed the form that said I reject this and so on. Never signed up for that service. And I did one step better in my opinion, because I don't like it having a transmitter in there that can communicate with the company anytime they want. Right. Because yes, they. I don't know that they. Yes, I opted out now. But you know how they do the change the service. You ever, like, updated your browser and you have to go back in and switch all your privacy settings back to the ones you had before because they'll reset it each time they do it. And there's a little thing that comes up on the center screen that says I agree each time. I don't know what that's about.
Craig
Yeah.
Gordon
What I'm agreeing to. So, yeah, I went in and opened up the dash and pulled out the cellular transmitter.
George
Took it out.
Gordon
Yeah. Yeah.
Craig
Dang.
Gordon
Yeah, I opted not to get that on my new vehicle. So what do you think about that now? You're not. That's an option I didn't choose.
George
You don't have a working dash, but at least you got it out of there.
Gordon
No, there's a module that you can. It's a plug and play that makes sure that you get full functionality just without the ability for this car to communicate with whoever they want to communicate with.
Craig
You know, with self driving Cars. Now, I got a buddy who's got a Tesla and I rode with him in it the other day and he engaged full self driving and it was amazing. Drove us everywhere. But he said, they're watching me. He said, there's a camera right there and it's trained on me at all times. And when I've got FSD engaged, if I start to drift or I'm looking down at my phone, a little alarm will go off. I have to put my hands on the wheel. So how creepy is that? And more cars are going to be like this.
Gordon
More and more cars doing that. It's not just Tesla. There are other cars that also use the same form of. They watch your eye movement and they know whether or not you're watching the road.
George
That's so freaky because I have that. It's not self driving. What do they call it? Like, in my truck I have that where I can put that down and
Gordon
I put it just keep you centered in the lane and adaptive cruise control. And so you can kind of. But you have to touch the wheel every so often or something.
George
Yes. And I've tested it. Taking my hands off the wheel just to see. And I was like, son of a gun, this thing. And then I like, look down at the dash, please keep your eyes on the road.
Craig
How do they know that you're being
Gordon
on the road, George? So and as we move to, you know, things like Teslas are basically computers first and cars second. And they're amazing bits of technology. I mean, incredible. But they are roving spy machines as well. And something about that doesn't sit right with me and a lot of other people. You know, now we're creating a world in which you can't opt out of big brother riding shotgun at all times.
Craig
In our neighborhood, we're kind of close to an entertainment district. And we have waymos that'll just be parked randomly on corners with nobody in them. And that thing radar going on top. Crazy. And it's like a robot is parked by your house and it's weird.
George
That's why we need all these data centers. You got to keep up with everybody's data.
Gordon
Yes. And then we'll all be basically living in shanty towns around big data centers. But as long as we have cool apps that we can play Candy Crush and unlock our cars remotely, we're fine.
George
Yeah, we're good.
Gordon
As long as you give me a little bit of an upside, I'll accept you your huge downside. All right, I'd like to end every episode that I lead with a little word of wisdom. And since I have no wisdom, I called one of the wisest men that I know, Daryl Razor Ray. The play by play guy for the Dallas Stars.
George
Yes.
Gordon
And I asked him, I said, hey, Razor, can you give me some piece of a little nugget of wisdom that I can pass on, some little wise saying? And he said, gladly. Everything's a suppository if you're brave enough.
Guest/Caller
Very wise man.
Gordon
Very, very Razor Ray. Very, very wise. Okay. All right. Thanks to Peter Welton, who produced this episode. And thank you to, to everyone in the whole wide world, everybody who believes in privacy. Damn it, we need privacy. And that's the end of the
Guest/Caller
One night with Stein.
Gordon
One night with Steiny. Shout out. Full send now.
George
What's your name, bro?
Gordon
Sonny.
Craig
What the hell?
Gordon
We've been sitting here for like an hour together. I don't know your name. I can't guarantee anything. All I can guarantee is that you're going to be entertained. I'm a professional. I'm here to interview.
George
So the whole interview, you can ask
Gordon
me what I like better, BURGER King or McDonald's.
George
All right.
Gordon
And we are going to wrap up on that note.
George
Thank you, Steve, so much.
Gordon
That was a hurricane. One night with Steiny. One night with Sony. One night with Stein.
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The Musers The Podcast – Episode 47: Gordo’s Corner
Original Air Date: June 10, 2026
Hosts: George Dunham, Craig “Junior” Miller, Gordon Keith
This episode features the classic Musers trio in a freewheeling session of oddball sports ruminations, stories from listeners, their signature banter on family dynamics, and a deep dive into car privacy and technology. Gordon leads with his idiosyncratic blend of humor and insight, driving the hosts through topics ranging from the aesthetics of football jersey numbers to the invasion of privacy by modern “computers on wheels.” Longtime fans and new listeners will find the mix of laughs, nostalgia, and genuine concern for the modern world as sharp as ever.
[00:36 – 05:07]
[05:55 – 10:33]
[18:16 – 22:05]
[22:05 – 25:58]
[26:09 – 32:11]
[33:10 – 55:05]
[32:11 – 39:39]
[55:05 – 55:41]
Episode 47 is prototypical “Musers”—absurd, insightful, occasionally touching, and always funny—with Gordon using his corner of the show to blend serious warnings about car-based surveillance with jokes about “gel plugs” in pigs and the injustices of double zero jerseys. The guys’ camaraderie and signature humor make even the most esoteric topics engaging, offering long-time listeners what they love and giving newcomers every reason to dig through that excellent back-catalog—assuming, of course, their every click isn’t being tracked by a smart fridge.