The Live Show, Part 2 - Episode 50

Summary

The Musers The Podcast: Live Show, Part 2 – Episode 50 (July 8, 2026)

Podcast Hosts: George Dunham, Craig “Junior” Miller, Gordon Keith
Location: The Kessler Theater, Dallas

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Episode Overview

This special live episode celebrates The Musers’ 50th podcast with part two of their live show at Dallas' Kessler Theater. The trio, known for their blend of absurdist humor and genuine reflection, mix hilarious personal stories, on-stage banter, and live audience Q&A for an intimate look at their decades-long chemistry. Listeners are treated to stories of on-air mishaps, lessons learned from each other, their favorite (and least favorite) sports personalities, behind-the-scenes bits, and riotous audience interactions.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

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Lessons Learned from Each Other

[00:43 - 05:03]

• Gordon reflects on the group dynamic:

  • Craig is “Type A," highly organized, punctual ("I never even knew that was a thing you could do"), while George is optimistic and spontaneous ("Everything’s a 15-minute drive—no matter what").
  • Quote: "Craig's more button-down, type A, and Giorgio is just let's do it, let's do it." (Gordon, 01:51)

• The Origin of Popular Bits:

  • The famous “Fake Michael Irvin reading school closings” bit originated because George insisted on it, even when Craig and Gordon were hesitant ("It was the most half-assed thing possible...George was like, 'oh, no, it'll be great.'" – Gordon, 02:44)

• George’s Eternal Optimism:

  • Gordon marvels at George’s positive attitude, recounting how George’s optimism led to memorable moments on-air (“I think everything’s going to work." – George, 03:44)

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Skills, Handiness & Old-School Methods

[05:22 - 12:21]

• Changing Oil and Other Handyman Feats:
  • Gordon prefers DIY—changing his own oil (“It’s not difficult. Don’t applaud.” 06:47), fixing machines, even roof climbs in dress shoes (to Craig and George’s horror).
  • Craig and George lean toward calling professionals: “Your time is worth a lot.” (Craig, 07:27)
  • Discussion of the satisfaction (or lack thereof) in fixing things—the practicality versus the joy of learning how things work.
    • “I get a small amount of satisfaction, but it’s usually not worth how much time I spend.” (Craig, 09:34)
    • “Aren’t you curious as to how things work?” (Gordon, 12:04)
    • "No, my mind does not work that way." (Craig, 12:06)

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On Smoking, Growing Up & Judging People

[13:04 - 15:56]

• The Lost Art of 'Smoking Gordo':

  • Recollections of wild early trips and Gordo’s brief smoking days.
  • Both Craig and George confess to trying cigarettes, but not liking them (“Sucked smoke into my lungs, coughed and thought why is this a thing?” – Craig, 13:31)

• On Judging Others Trying to Improve:

  • Craig’s compassionate stance: “I just don’t like making fun of anyone who’s trying to get fit.” (Craig, 15:09)
  • Gordon cites this as an enduring lesson for being less judgmental of others’ efforts.

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Bits, Characters, and Listener Impact

[16:24 - 18:43]

• Michael Irvin Bits and Real-Life Connection:

  • The “Fake Michael Irvin” bit’s legacy, and Irvin’s real affection for the Musers’ absurd gags: “Michael Irvin really loves Gordon.” (George, 17:24)
  • Stories of pranking Emmitt Smith as a bumbling sound guy ("I almost got punched out by the NFL’s leading rusher.” – Gordon, 19:46)

• On Reporting and Asking Tough Questions:

  • Craig’s wisdom in journalism (via Doug Anderson): “Sometimes it’s important to just ask the question and get the non-answer on record.” (Gordon, 20:01–20:36)

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Audience Q&A: AMA Segment

(Begins 22:01)

Most Hated Athlete

[23:55 - 25:40]

• George confesses past animosity for Terry Bradshaw and LeBron James (primarily for beating the Cowboys and “the decision” era).
  • “But I’ve grown to appreciate him... I’m trying to get away from that; that’s not constructive.” (George, 25:13)
• Craig doesn’t harbor deep sports hatred: “I don’t think I have that in me.” (Craig, 27:47)

Girls & Trends: What Doesn’t Work?

[28:49 - 29:43]

• George cautions women against cosmetic “duck lips”: “Stop giving yourselves duck lips. ...You don’t need to.” (George, 28:54)
• The group debates why trends like this arise: “Where are they getting pressure to appeal to the aquatic community?” (Gordon, 29:36)

ESPN8 (“The Ocho”) Sports

[31:24 - 31:43]

• George: Would want to play dodgeball—claims he was once formidable (“Hell of a dodgeball player”).

Erection Text Alert System

[31:57 - 32:23]

• George: Not his idea, just an offhand punchline that stuck.

On-Air Mishaps & Controversies

[32:40 - 36:09]

• Cinco de Mayo Suspension:
  • Gordon’s live street segment went off the rails, leading to a week’s suspension after a drunk interviewee made explicit remarks on-air (out of delay).
    • “So this goes to the FCC…and they suspended all of us for a week." (George, 35:55)
  • The notorious event led to a permanent increase in broadcast delay.

Favorite Gordo Character

[37:28 - 39:44]

• Craig: Loves “SkinLannan Brothers,” “Fake Nolan Ryan,” “Fake Tiger Woods,” “Carlton Maxwell.”
• George: Favors “Greg Olson,” “Nico Harrison,” and “Bruce Bochy.”
• Inside joke: Some characters are vetoed by each host (notably “Clarence Murphy, Maintenance Man”).

Fandom of Underdogs & Unsung Players

[43:17 - 46:29]

• The Musers and audience recall favorite “spare” athletes (Dale Ellis, Darrell Clack, Norm Granger, Mitchell Page, David Clyde, Clint Longley)—those who never got enough spotlight but earned affection.

Retirement Plans

[47:44 - 48:07]

• No binding agreement to retire together, but: “It will happen at gunpoint. One guy will force the other ones to retire.” (Craig, 47:57)

Annual Traditions

[48:21 - 49:53]

• Training camp is the most beloved annual ritual: bonding, fun with the team, and the weather in California (“It’s 110 here, and out there in July, it’s 75 every day.” – Craig, 49:03)

Musers Lore: Wildest Super Bowl Night

[56:12 - 63:00]

• George tells the legendary story of staying out all night in New Orleans with Jerry Jones:
  • Jerry first tells him off for relaying a message from his wife: "Why don’t you get the fuck out of my face?" (Jerry via George, 57:15)
  • The night turns raucous: police rides, free drinks for the bar, a “sporked” chili dog from Jerry, and a lost glasses lens.
  • “We got home the next day at 7 o'clock in the morning.” (George, 57:57)
  • In a final twist, George’s son was in the hospital that night—unbeknownst to him until later.

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Final Reflections & Closing Thoughts

[64:05 - End]

• Gordon expresses heartfelt gratitude for the audience:
  • “It is something that I’m gonna remember for the rest of my life that we were able to do this. ... Giorgio, our eternal optimist, said, ‘Let’s do it.’ And thank God he did.” (Gordon, 64:30)
• George thanks the Kessler and all in attendance.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Everyone in my life has always had a lot more confidence in me than I have. Yeah, it’s been a common theme…” – Gordon, 03:45
• “This is like a fantastic new drug I’ve discovered. It’s punctuality.” – Gordon, 04:38
• “I always think I have time to do a whole bunch of things...do I have time to change oil in two more cars?” – Gordon, 05:22
• “Don’t worry about it. For us. Especially if it’s just for us. ... Don’t worry about it. All right, that’s my public service announcement.” – George, 30:43
• “I’ve always loved sports, and I don’t think I’ve always taken it that seriously...I don’t think I have that (hatred) in me.” – Craig, 27:47
• “Wouldn’t you love video of that entire [wild night]? ... And I love that the coda to the story is that to hush Giorgio up, Jerry Jones made him the voice of Texas Stadium …” – Gordon, 62:18
• “He still has energy. ... It’s amazing.” – George, regarding Jerry Jones at age 83, 63:44

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:43 – Host introductions; setting up the night’s theme
• 01:51 – Group dynamic, lessons learned from each other
• 02:44 – Origin of “Fake Michael Irvin reading school closings”
• 05:22 – Handyman vs. convenience & time-saving debates
• 13:04 – Smoking stories & compassion for those making an effort
• 19:45 – “Almost got punched out by Emmitt Smith” prank story
• 20:36 – Journalistic lesson: importance of asking tough questions
• 23:55 – Most hated athlete debate
• 28:49 – George’s PSA about cosmetic trends for women
• 32:40 – On-air mishap: Cinco de Mayo suspension
• 37:28 – Favorite Gordo characters
• 43:17 – Unsung athlete stories
• 47:44 – Retirement discussion
• 48:21 – Favorite annual traditions
• 56:12 – Wildest Super Bowl night (Jerry Jones story)
• 64:05 – Emotional closing thanks to the live audience

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Tone & Energy

Consistent with The Musers’ signature: candid, self-deprecating, playful, and occasionally poignant. Banter is infused with inside jokes, improv, and reverence for shared history—balancing irreverence (“baboon-ass lips”) with honest appreciation for their journey together.

“We’re glad we got to do this—didn’t think it would happen. Giorgio the eternal optimist said ‘Let’s do it’—and he was right.” – Gordon, 64:30

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For longtime ticket listeners and new fans alike, this live show captures the unique camaraderie and infectious humor that’s made The Musers a Dallas media institution for decades.

Transcript

[Craig Miller]

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[Gordon Keith]

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[Craig Miller]

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[Gordon Keith]

Learn more at comcastcorporation.com School's out for summer now, man.

[George Dunham]

Go back to your store, man.

[Gordon Keith]

Yes. Thank you Mike.

[George Dunham]

Thank you so much, Mike.

[Gordon Keith]

Hey there and welcome to the Musers the Podcast. Boy, are you in for a treat this week. It's part two of the Musers the Podcast, the live show from the historic Kessler Theater in Dallas. I hope you enjoyed part one. I thought that was fantastic. Now in this part we are going to get personal with each other and we entertain questions from you. So if you weren't able to make it out there live, I hope you enjoy this special, special review of the Musers the Podcast, the live show from the Kessler Theater. What I would like to talk about tonight is things that I've learned from each of you and you know, each of you have taught me different things and different lessons. You're both very different personalities. When we first started doing the radio show together, Craig is a very type A person. He likes to plan, he likes to be squared away, he likes to. He has neat handwriting and George is the opposite of everything that I just said. Like George, I still don't know how you can even read your own handwriting.

[George Dunham]

Terrible.

[Gordon Keith]

It looks like, it clearly looks like somebody who's in the head injury rehab unit who's trying to gain back skill and. But it does look really serial killer. Yeah, not, not good penmanship. No, but, but the balance of U2 is what works so well. Craig's more button down type A and Giorgio is just let's do it, let's do it. And I thought about this on a bit that we did that was very successful that Craig and I were hesitant on and George said, nah, nah, it'll be great, it'll be fine. Can you guess which one it is?

[George Dunham]

I have no idea what he's talking about.

[Gordon Keith]

This was many years ago. This is probably 10 years ago when we first did the bit.

[Craig Miller]

Is this an 840bit?

[Gordon Keith]

It was 840 on our radio show and it was the most half assed thing possible. And I thought, man, this is it had a lot of moving parts.

[George Dunham]

It's gonna end our careers.

[Gordon Keith]

It was the first fake Michael Irvin that we did. Michael Irvin from the Dallas Cowboys. And you had school closings and this ide. And I was like, I don't even understand the premise. But George was like, oh, no, no, it'll be great. It'll be great. And then y' all just throw it to me and I'll read out. I'll send it to school, and then Michael Irvin will close them.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah. The original concept was it would be the fake Michael Irvin reading school closings under us while we talked and did a segment.

[George Dunham]

So instead of the crawl you see on tv, we can't do that on radio. So.

[Gordon Keith]

So it's Michael Irvin and an audio crawl reading school clos.

[George Dunham]

That's not too distracting.

[Gordon Keith]

And it was the most insane idea, but it totally spoke to your personality. Which even times when I'm hesitant to do a bit or to try something unusual, you're always the one who's saying, no, no, let's do it. It'll be fine. It'll be good.

[George Dunham]

It'll be good because I know you can pull it off.

[Gordon Keith]

And well. Well, see, that's the problem. That's the problem.

[George Dunham]

I think everything's going to work.

[Gordon Keith]

Everyone in my life has always had a lot more confidence in me than I have. Yeah, it's been a common theme, but those are two of the things that I've learned from you. I've learned from Craig that I should be more. I should plan ahead a little bit more. It's crazy. This is something you taught me. First year we worked together, junior, because we used to ride together a lot and going places, and we lived together for a while during the early days of our radio station. And Craig would get there early. When we had to be somewhere, he'd get there early. And I never even knew that was a thing you could do. And I remember getting to places early with you, and there would just be all this time, and my heart rate would be down, and I'm like, oh, wow, this is something here. This is amazing. This is like a fantastic new drug I've discovered. It's punctuality and. And George is the opposite of that. Everything I've said there. Yeah, George is not quite as late as I am usually. But George has that eternal optimist hope. The same hope that gives us fake Michael Irving school closings is going to work. Just trust me. Is also this eternal optimist hope that tells George that he is 15 minutes from any destination he has to drive to.

[George Dunham]

That is true. My boys say the same thing about me.

[Gordon Keith]

His internal clock just always says, where is it? I've got to be in lubbock. When? In 30 minutes. Oh, yeah, I can make it there in 15.

[George Dunham]

I think it's one of my boys, before they got married, told my wife, could you make sure dad's not cutting the lawn like, 30 minutes before the ceremony? Just. Yeah, I got time.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. And I'm kind of that way. I always think I have time to do a whole bunch of things. So, like, here we. Hey, we got to be at the Kessler. Like, we had to get here before you guys did for the sound check and everything. And I was thinking, do I have time to change oil in two more cars?

[George Dunham]

Oh, my gosh.

[Gordon Keith]

Just two more cars.

[George Dunham]

I still can't believe you do that. It takes five minutes at an oil change place.

[Gordon Keith]

Have you gone to an oil change place and seen the people that can execute these moves?

[George Dunham]

Yes.

[Gordon Keith]

It's not that hard.

[George Dunham]

And they call out stuff. Okay, clear on the right. And then all sorts of complicated orders.

[Gordon Keith]

The reason that I started doing it because a couple reasons. One is that when I was a boy, I used to change the car's oil with my dad, and I loved that project with it. It made me feel useful. It made me feel like I could do something right in this world. And then the other reason is this quick oil change place that I go to has the most methed out felons.

[George Dunham]

They seem to know what they're doing, though, and they can do it in, like, five minutes.

[Gordon Keith]

These guys are like. They look like tattooed scarecrows, every single one of them. They're extremely thin. They have probably 24 teeth among the 10 of them. And. And they just. They do a poor job every single time.

[George Dunham]

Okay, well, I'm so impressed that Gordon can do things like that. He can change oil.

[Gordon Keith]

It's not difficult. Don't applaud. Ma', am, does your husband change your oil? You understand what I mean by that? He doesn't. What's that? Changed the carburetor to lawnmower before. He's changed the carburetor to a lawnmower. Very good.

[George Dunham]

Never attempt something like that.

[Gordon Keith]

It's easy. It's a bowl.

[Craig Miller]

I've done the pull string on a lawnmower where you start.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Whoa.

[Craig Miller]

I've done that.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

No, it's not that great.

[Craig Miller]

I pushed it.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. We use the phone. It is pretty impressive how he can fix a lot of things and work on things.

[Gordon Keith]

I've always been appalled at the way that you guys will just make a phone call for everything. Everything.

[George Dunham]

Well, there's a convenience fee.

[Craig Miller]

Your time is worth a lot.

[Gordon Keith]

And I agree. And you guys have influenced me on that. And as I've gotten older, there are times where I say, you know, I just don't want to mess with that and just make the phone call to somebody who'll do it. But then there's other things that I still do. I still climb up on the roof in these dress shoes.

[Craig Miller]

That's crazy.

[George Dunham]

You've got to stop doing that.

[Craig Miller]

That is how your life is going to kill yourself.

[Gordon Keith]

I don't care.

[Craig Miller]

The news story will be, he was oddly wearing dress shoes on the roof, and that caused him to slip and fall. May he rest in peace.

[Gordon Keith]

Wearing cargo shorts and dress shoes. It makes no sense how many pairs

[George Dunham]

of those you have. You imagine.

[Gordon Keith]

I was just telling one of our P1s of this story that, yeah, I have this particular model of shoe that I've worn for the past 20 years, and I buy them in bulk, and they're kind of expensive. I don't know how much men's shoes are, but I swear these shoes are like $60 a pair. Is that expensive or not?

[George Dunham]

No, that's pretty cheap.

[Gordon Keith]

Women are all shaking their head like, oh, my gosh, for a dress shoe, that's pretty cheap. Yeah, But I like them because they're comfortable. They're. You just slip them on and I just. I use them as disposable, you know, I. I wear them until they get to looking like this. This needs to be replaced. They look okay now. Look at this, George. There's no tread on the bottom. Oh, yeah, They're a little bald. And I just changed the oil in them the other day.

[Craig Miller]

No tread and no tread yet. You'll wear them on a roof.

[Gordon Keith]

And then I go into the closet where there's a whole stack of them. It looks like the back of a shoe store, back of a DSW back there. And I pull one out from the bottom and say, okay, these are the next pair. And I put. Throw these in the garbage.

[Craig Miller]

I'd love to see their bean keepers when they're going through. Yeah. This model for. We sell a lot of them in Dallas.

[George Dunham]

We can't discontinue.

[Craig Miller]

We don't sell them anywhere else.

[George Dunham]

This guy in Texas buys. Yeah, like 300 pairs.

[Gordon Keith]

They're not popular anywhere else but this one house. Well, that's. That's the thing. I. I Always wear these same shoes for everything. And it's great because I don't have to think about what my footwear is going to be.

[George Dunham]

Okay. Yeah.

[Craig Miller]

You know, as far as fixing things, I think I made a decision a long time ago that.

[Gordon Keith]

That you weren't going to be a man? No.

[Craig Miller]

That in other ways, if I fix something, let's say I tackle a project and I actually fix it. I don't get as much satisfaction as I would get in the five hours that I saved. And all the stuff that I could do in the five hours. I get a small amount of satisfaction that I fix this or that. But it's usually not worth how much time and usually within that, however long it takes to fix something. I find myself incredibly frustrated. And you're trying to find a YouTube video or get my readers to look at the instructions, and they never seem to make sense. And it's just all. It's not worth it to me. The little bit of satisfaction that you might get to say, oh, I did that, and then nobody's impressed.

[Gordon Keith]

No, I think people are impressed.

[Craig Miller]

I don't think so.

[George Dunham]

I am impressed by.

[Gordon Keith]

There you go. I got one right here.

[George Dunham]

You can fix things.

[Gordon Keith]

And there are still some women in this world who think it's. It's sexy for a man to be competent at things.

[Craig Miller]

If you build an entire house, I will.

[George Dunham]

I'll do that.

[Craig Miller]

That impresses me.

[George Dunham]

Here's the thing.

[Gordon Keith]

I think you could build an entire house, and then I will knock it down before you can set foot on it.

[George Dunham]

That sounds like something he would do.

[Gordon Keith]

But the difference between you and me, though, Craig, is you're probably doing something constructive during that five hours that you're saving by picking up the phone and calling the guy and speaking your contractor Spanish, trying to get him over there to do what you should be doing.

[Craig Miller]

See, but.

[Gordon Keith]

But see, I won't. I'll just be sitting there watching YouTube videos anyway about how to do that very thing. Because I want to know how to, I don't know, rebuild a lawnmower or something that is absolutely worthless to know.

[George Dunham]

That's another thing he can do. He can rebuild an engine.

[Gordon Keith]

It's not that difficult.

[George Dunham]

It looks hard.

[Craig Miller]

Well. And if you like it, if you. Something you enjoy more power to it. My mind doesn't work that way. I don't Even my bike, as much as I love my bicycle and everything about that object, I hate working on it. I hate it. I hate taking it apart. I was trying to do something the other day with my seat post and a bolt fell down into the frame. And I'm picking up the frame, trying to empty the bolt out and just

[George Dunham]

take the seat off and ride it like that.

[Gordon Keith]

He wanted to take the seat off, put a cylindrical object on there and then go for a ride.

[George Dunham]

Sorry, that's cheap.

[Gordon Keith]

But I was much okay.

[Craig Miller]

I'd much rather take it to the shop and have experts take care of it. And then I get a bike back that's in shape. Not one that's half ass been repaired by me.

[Gordon Keith]

But aren't you curious as to how things work?

[Craig Miller]

No, my mind does not work.

[George Dunham]

That's a blessing and a curse for you. Yeah, it's a blessing because you can do things. But it's a curse because man you apply it to everything.

[Craig Miller]

I don't care how anything works.

[George Dunham]

I really don't either.

[Craig Miller]

Nothing.

[Gordon Keith]

Including the female anatomy.

[George Dunham]

It is sad.

[Gordon Keith]

Craig, aren't you interested in her pleasure? Nope. Not. Not in the least. Okay. Something else that I learned from you Craig. This was a valuable lesson. Craig and I were. We decided to take a weekend trip to Colorado. This is year two of the ticket maybe. And we were on this kick where we would just try to get out of town and take these really ill advised trips that we didn't have enough time to do. And we'd go in his car cuz I didn't have a car that worked so well. Believe it or not, from the guy who fixes his own stuff.

[Craig Miller]

It didn't work well I had just taken mine to the shop so it

[Gordon Keith]

was we're good and we were. We were driving up in Colorado and I'm smoking. Got Lena getting the cigarette out the window.

[George Dunham]

By the way, I wish smoking Gordo would come back.

[Gordon Keith]

He's always want me to start smoking again.

[George Dunham]

So much fun.

[Gordon Keith]

It's bad.

[George Dunham]

It is bad.

[Gordon Keith]

You shouldn't smoke.

[George Dunham]

Don't smoke.

[Gordon Keith]

Did you ever smoke?

[George Dunham]

No.

[Gordon Keith]

You never even tried it?

[George Dunham]

Yeah, I tried it but I didn't like smoke for longer than 10 minutes.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, I tried it once. Sucked smoke into my lungs, coughed and thought why is this a thing? Who would want to suck smoke into their lungs?

[Gordon Keith]

Me.

[George Dunham]

It's great.

[Gordon Keith]

No, because I watched you smoke one time when we were really really drunk at a bar and I came back and you had fished out one of my cigarettes and you're all giggly like you had hypoxia or something. I don't know what was going on with you. And you fished one out and you had it and you were smoking, giggling and I thought it was the stupidest looking thing. It did not look cool. It did not look manly. He could have been in Pegasus.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. Could have been your.

[Gordon Keith]

Perfect for the guitarist.

[Craig Miller]

But you're taking a lot of shots at my manhood in the last five.

[Gordon Keith]

I know.

[George Dunham]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Craig Miller]

Why am I this target?

[Gordon Keith]

Because I want to fight. I want to fight. No, but you taught me this really important lesson. I remember there was this guy who was built like, more like me, who was on the side of the road on this Colorado mountain out in the middle of nowhere, and he was on, like, a touring bike, you know, heavy laden, both on the bike and on his frame. And I remember going, oh, look at that. You think he could. I don't know. I probably made some joke about how. How well would he do in the tour or something like that, Right? And. And Craig didn't laugh. And I was like, oh, okay. I said, not hear me funny joke. I'm killing it over here. Why aren't you laughing? And. And he said, no, no, I just, you know, I don't.

[George Dunham]

I don't.

[Gordon Keith]

Just don't like making fun of anyone who's trying to get fit. Okay. All right. And that always stayed with me because I was like, you know, that's a great point. This guy's out there built like me, trying to get up the side of a mountain while I'm in a car zooming through at seven miles an hour,

[Craig Miller]

smoking,

[Gordon Keith]

trying to draft my Marlboro 100 out the window. And it was a very little moment. It wasn't a big deal. It just. That always stayed with me that you had said that. And it always made me think, you know, when you see someone making a really honest, hard effort at something just because they don't look the part.

[Craig Miller]

Right.

[Gordon Keith]

But they are the part. So that stayed with me that you did that.

[Craig Miller]

I'm glad.

[Gordon Keith]

The other thing that stayed with me is when you didn't pay me back the hundred dollars that you owe me. There was another time where it was early on in our radio careers and there was a press conference going on, and I forget what cowboy scandal of the day was happening, but there was always one in the 90s, probably involved me. Ha ha ha ha.

[Audience Member]

No,

[George Dunham]

sorry. We had a fourth headset up here, and Michael just jumped on.

[Gordon Keith]

Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Irving.

[George Dunham]

Hey, George v.88.

[Gordon Keith]

It's not Irving.

[George Dunham]

No, that's your town, brother.

[Gordon Keith]

That's a town with a school district, though, isn't it?

[George Dunham]

And it's closed. School's out for Summer now, man. And go back to your store, man.

[Gordon Keith]

Yes. Thank you, Mike. Thank you so much, Mike. Very giving of you. So

[George Dunham]

I don't know why people love Michael Irvin so much.

[Craig Miller]

It's funny because it's such a cartoon voice.

[George Dunham]

It is, yeah.

[Craig Miller]

Real life Michael Irvin is such a cartoon.

[George Dunham]

I know. It's not an exaggeration really, when you see him on the air and we've

[Gordon Keith]

talked to him about that. Right. He likes it.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

He's okay with it.

[George Dunham]

Oh, he loves the man. People coming up to me tell me to close Valley View, man. He really loves you. Michael Irvin really loves Gordon.

[Gordon Keith]

Me.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. He cites old bits we did 30 years ago that involved him and.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, yeah. When I was doing the Cowboys fire sale bit, he always brought that back up. Yeah, get a Lotus Bryce for free. You take one of the other receivers.

[George Dunham]

He thought that was hilarious.

[Gordon Keith]

He thought that was really funny. And then there was something else that I did for him. Oh, I. I think somebody. He was pranking Emmett Smith one time and this was on. I think I did it for the best damn sports show, is that. I remember that show. I don't even know what that show was.

[Craig Miller]

It's been off about 25 years.

[George Dunham]

I feel like we're always informing you.

[Gordon Keith]

You're always telling me things were canceled

[George Dunham]

for 20 years or we have a remote tomorrow or something. We're always.

[Gordon Keith]

So they were doing. They wanted to prank. And for some reason, Michael Irvin was the guy who wanted me to prank Emmett Smith. And I mean, he didn't request me personally, it's just that he wanted to prank Emmett. And they asked for someone who could do the job of a sound guy who's really bad at his job.

[George Dunham]

Oh, gosh, I remember that. That was hilarious.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. And so I. They had a. They had an interviewer there that was doing a sit down, you know, it was the sensitive sit down with Emmett Smith and with the tight focus cameras and all this. And the boom operator.

[Commercial Voice]

Right.

[Gordon Keith]

I was always right. When Emmett was telling the most heart wrenching story or whatever, the boom mic would come down into view and the director, whoever was playing the director would just yell at me and ream me

[George Dunham]

out, dog cussing me.

[Gordon Keith]

And at first I think Emmett felt sorry for me because this guy was being so mean. The director was yelling at me so much. He didn't know the director's in on it.

[George Dunham]

And.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. And then there was another time where I was trying to get the mic in and I think I tripped over the little table that had all the water on it and sent water flying everywhere. And then finally Emmett gets pissed and he yells at me. And then I think at that point, Michael comes out and says that we're just pranking and all this kind of stuff.

[George Dunham]

That was your best.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, Emmett. I almost got punched out by the NFL's leading rusher of that time.

[Audience Member]

Of all time.

[Gordon Keith]

That was great. Anyway, back to the thing of. There was a press conference that they were having and they're addressing some scandal and a reporter asked the question, like the first reporter asked the question that you knew the Cowboys were not going to answer. And I thought that was the stupidest thing ever. It's like, you know, the, the stupid gotcha reporter question is going to be asked and they're going to say, we're not going to comment on that. And I said, well, why is that guy even asking that? He's not going to answer it. And you said, because sometimes it's important to just ask the question and get the non answer on record. And that never occurred to me. And that little lesson, what it meant to me at the time was things are not always as they seem. And my judgments about the world and about the way things are done, they didn't just develop with idiocy at the helm before I came along. Right. This whole ship that we call Earth, it was that things are done a certain way for a certain reason. And the reason, just because it's not apparent to you, Gordon, doesn't mean there isn't one. And that was a little lesson that I learned from you, Craig Miller.

[George Dunham]

And I want to know how about that junior Todd Gordo, something for teaching

[Gordon Keith]

me about how to be a good reporter. And ever since then I've been a great reporter. You have.

[Craig Miller]

It's good to know because I have zero memory of that. I'm glad I said that.

[Gordon Keith]

It wasn't you. It was actually a guy named Doug. Yeah, I forgot. It was our old friend Doug Anderson who actually told me that. So I withdraw that. But okay, what we want to do is, did you guys get those little cards that we had in your seat? You did? Okay. Have you written down questions? Look at that. We have all these questions.

[George Dunham]

Oh, we got a lot of questions.

[Gordon Keith]

So what's going to happen here? Where is Peter, our producer?

[George Dunham]

There's Peter.

[Gordon Keith]

There he is. He's back there.

[Craig Miller]

Pass him to the end of the rows.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, pass him to the end of the rose. And we're going to collect them and we are going to. We're going to take some questions from the studio audience as well as answer your questions that we have written down here. Now, look at this. And all the.

[George Dunham]

This is ask us anything. We can. Ask us anything you want. And we'll.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, we're going to call this an ask me anything ama.

[Craig Miller]

That's a little redundant.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, okay, we're gonna call it that so people can ask us a question if they have one.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, you can ask us anything, but if it's a really terrible question, it won't make the podcast episode.

[George Dunham]

But.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, but I'm gonna start off. I've got a couple for you guys.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

Number one.

[George Dunham]

I'm sorry, what's your name?

[Gordon Keith]

Gordon Keith.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

Of the Muses, the podcast, the live show. Live from the Kessler here in Dallas, Texas. And listen to that applause. Thank you.

[George Dunham]

Yes. Live audience.

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[Gordon Keith]

Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts.

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[Craig Miller]

Hey, Meta, any last minute tables for two tonight?

[Gordon Keith]

Sure.

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[Craig Miller]

Hey, Meta, where's the nearest flower shop?

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[Craig Miller]

Hey, Meta, am I forgetting anything else?

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[Gordon Keith]

Who is your most hated athlete of all time and why?

[Craig Miller]

Oh, man, wow. Hated most hated athlete.

[Gordon Keith]

Someone that you just can't stand, that you just can't root for, that you have almost an un unnecessary hatred for.

[George Dunham]

Boy, it's a good one.

[Gordon Keith]

Terry Bradshaw.

[Craig Miller]

Terry Bradshaw.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, I did hate him because he beat the Cowboys. And I always thought he really wasn't network quality, but.

[Gordon Keith]

But other than that.

[George Dunham]

Other than that.

[Craig Miller]

You know what's weird about me? I don't think I deep down hate any team or any player. I've never had a guy that I just despised or couldn't look at, or

[George Dunham]

I've grown to appreciate him because he's had such a long career. But man, LeBron used to drive me up the wall.

[Craig Miller]

See, I've always loved LeBron.

[Gordon Keith]

Why did you hate LeBron as much as you hated a rod?

[George Dunham]

Oh, that's another one.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, see, I liked a Rod too.

[Gordon Keith]

You have so many hatreds, Giorgio. For a positive guy, people get under your skin more than like Terry Bradshaw. When it's Terry Bradshaw, he bever Cowboys.

[George Dunham]

He got lucky and threw a couple touchdown passes.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, but he was greatness.

[George Dunham]

LeBron is amazing. He's great and I've come to appreciate him. It's kind of like the Elvis impersonator over the years.

[Gordon Keith]

Wait, wait, what's being said now?

[George Dunham]

I've grown to appreciate LeBron, but yeah, the decision. The chicken shit stuff he did against the Mavericks in the NBA Finals. And he and Wade acting like they had a cough like Dirk did, and then Mavericks just smacked that ass and beat him. That was great. But yeah, I don't hate as much as I used to. And I'm trying to get away from that. That's not constructive.

[Craig Miller]

Like when we were in college, we. We didn't like Joe Theisman. You know, we. We made banners for him, the old Washington quarterback. We went to games and hung banners. That made fun of him or. But I did. I didn't hate him, you know, I just.

[Gordon Keith]

George hated Joe Theisman.

[George Dunham]

I did until he broke his leg. Then I felt bad for hating him.

[Gordon Keith]

Well, I remember when Joe Theisman. It seemed like we were in an RV somewhere doing the show, and Joe Theisman came in and we had to interview him. And George was talking all tough before Joe. I can't wait for these men to get in here. Yeah, give him a piece of my mind. As soon as Joe walked in. Hey, Joe. Big fan. Big fan.

[George Dunham]

That's not the way it went. You were. No, it's.

[Gordon Keith]

You were totally. You were such a sycophant to Joe.

[George Dunham]

You need anything?

[Gordon Keith]

You want some water?

[George Dunham]

No, I think I need food.

[Gordon Keith]

I'll baby bird it into your mouth.

[George Dunham]

I did not. I think I called him the. That's his real name. Oh, you know, he changed it to rhyme with Heisman. Yeah, that's cute.

[Craig Miller]

Get over it.

[Gordon Keith]

Who else did he hate? Did Giorgio hate? He hated Don Johnson.

[George Dunham]

He was just really annoying back in

[Gordon Keith]

the 80s a lot. I think a lot of it is related to her up there. That's. Sitting up there. Anybody that she likes. Because you tell everyone about the Sting story.

[George Dunham]

Okay. Women bought that. That he could have sex for like 24 straight hours, and there's just no way. And I used to hear it from

[Gordon Keith]

her about

[George Dunham]

what's wrong with you. It's true.

[Gordon Keith]

I mean, he's. 24 hours. Do you think maybe we could get 24 seconds or something out of this.

[George Dunham]

I mean, yeah, I just thought I. But I always like staying. I always thought I like the police. I thought, I've been to. We've been able to drag me to three of his concerts.

[Gordon Keith]

See, that didn't sound like you wanted to go.

[George Dunham]

It was fine. It was a great concert. I didn't hate him.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, but you do acknowledge that you have more hatreds than.

[George Dunham]

Probably. But I've worked hard to get over that, Gordon.

[Gordon Keith]

And thank you for having me. I'm glad you've gotten over some of these. Yeah.

[Craig Miller]

You know, I think it's because I've always loved. Loved sports, and I don't think I've always taken it that seriously. Like, I really love my teams, my favorite athletes, but I don't take it so seriously that I have developed hatred for the opponents. Athletes that I watch that I don't like. I don't think I have that in me.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, I don't take it seriously enough to even care about my own.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, we always have to tell you who's playing.

[Gordon Keith]

I mean, I just always saw the sports as just a bunch of misery to be a fan of.

[George Dunham]

A lot of it is misery. Your team doesn't always win.

[Gordon Keith]

You got to be so upset about it and everything. So I just sidestepped all that and just, like, don't be a sports fan.

[Craig Miller]

It's very stressful.

[Gordon Keith]

That's the key to being a good sports fan.

[George Dunham]

But so is life, though. You don't always win in life. You take a lot of losses, but eventually you get a couple wins. That's what makes it worthwhile. Right?

[Gordon Keith]

I'm sensing another song right now.

[George Dunham]

Write that down.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay. This one is for you, Giorgio.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

What is something that girls think makes them hotter but does not?

[George Dunham]

Okay, I don't want to offend anyone in here. Okay? But y' all are beautiful as you are. Stop giving yourselves duck lips. Okay, Stop it. Stop. You don't need to. And I hear of all these girls, like, in their 20s, Botoxing and all that. Stop. Don't do that. You're fine. Age naturally, and we'll be fine with it.

[Gordon Keith]

So just to appeal to you, they need to do what?

[George Dunham]

No, I just. I feel bad if they feel that pressure. Oh, gosh. I got to keep. Keep looking younger and younger. No, you don't just age along with your husband or your boyfriend, and it's fine. Well, I will stop looking like Daffy Duck.

[Gordon Keith]

That part I don't get. Like, who is. Where are they getting the pressure to Appeal to the aquatic community like this, that they need. Like the duck lips is weird. That's a weird thing.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, it's got to be social media.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. And before that it was magazines. It was, you know, it's what they think is what they have to look like and they don't.

[Craig Miller]

I just wish even in magazines like the old SI swimsuit issue, none of those models had duck lips. I don't remember that being a thing until like 20 years ago when social media started to pop up and start taking pictures with duck lips. Well, I think it seemed like lips became more of a thing 20 years ago.

[Gordon Keith]

Well, I understand wanting to have fun. Full lips.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, yeah, that's fine.

[Gordon Keith]

But.

[Craig Miller]

And they call.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. The overboardness of when the woman looks like she has a baboon's ass on her.

[George Dunham]

Like that's, that's when you've gone too far.

[Audience Member]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

When you get baboon ass lips. So your message to women is what?

[George Dunham]

You just don't. You don't see I'm going to get myself in trouble. But you don't. You don't have to. You don't have to do all that stuff. You really don't. For us. Especially if it's just for us. Bunch of moron dads or boyfriends. Don't worry about it. All right, that's my public service announcement. It's really well stated.

[Gordon Keith]

Is this the right one?

[George Dunham]

Oh, a couple more there.

[Craig Miller]

Also, if anybody wants to ask a question into the mic up here. We'll line up right down there, side stage. So feel free if you want to come up here with us.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, this one looks like it is a females writing, doesn't it?

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

Nice.

[George Dunham]

Why do females write so much neater? I don't know, guys.

[Gordon Keith]

Always looks so cool. What ESPN the Ocho sport would you want to play?

[George Dunham]

Back when I could move dodgeball back in the day, I was a hell of a dodgeball player. I really was.

[Craig Miller]

That's not that you wouldn't know it

[George Dunham]

by looking at me now, but yeah, dodgeball is like the greatest game ever

[Craig Miller]

invented, so it's got to be a random sport.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, I don't know what's on. What the hell is the Ocho? Oh, that's that wheels off ESPN channel.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, it's the. The reference to the movie Dodgeball.

[Gordon Keith]

This one comes to us from Rebecca. Rebecca's out there somewhere. George, how did you come up with the idea of the erection text alert system?

[George Dunham]

Okay, that's not my idea. It was just a punchline that I said. On this morning's radio show, it would

[Craig Miller]

be easy to test out the system because there'd be so few messages going out.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, that's probably true. I don't know, some story you did about some dumbass who was giving out a vagina report about his wife or something. And I said, well, I don't know, do we need an erection report?

[Gordon Keith]

What is the funniest edgiest thing that ever happened that listeners never heard? So something that happened that I guess we had to dump or get out of or that never made the air.

[George Dunham]

Okay, well, unfortunately some of it made the air, but we got suspended for a week. Oh yeah, Cinco de Mayo. What year was that? No, 2000 something.

[Craig Miller]

Somewhere around there, early aughts.

[George Dunham]

And we sent him out on Cinco.

[Gordon Keith]

Him. I'm listening in my car now.

[George Dunham]

We sent Gordon out on the street and he ran into a guy who wanted to drop F bombs and S bombs about every five seconds.

[Gordon Keith]

So he was, he was a little drunk at 8am he had had a few.

[George Dunham]

So Gordo zeroed in on him and he was funny. I mean it's funny to hear him say all this stuff. And we would. What's called dump it. We have a second. Then we had a seven second delay. We now have a 45 second delay because of this very day where after about three or four F bombs, Craig or board operator had dumped it. So we were now out of delay. We were in real time. And do you remember the question you asked him? Of course. You went racial. You did, yes, you did. You said what kind of what? I said, what race of woman are you?

[Gordon Keith]

What kind of woman are you attracted to? And he said, I was expecting him to say, you know, oh, vivacious ones.

[George Dunham]

Or he happened to be Hispanic. He happened to be Hispanic.

[Gordon Keith]

Accusation from someone who wasn't even there on the street. Well, that's interviewing him.

[George Dunham]

That's what you told us later.

[Gordon Keith]

No, and he said white women. So that's who he said is the type of woman that he's attracted to.

[George Dunham]

And you had a follow up question.

[Gordon Keith]

I said, why white women?

[George Dunham]

And he said, and keep in mind, we are out of delay. This is live radio now.

[Gordon Keith]

He said, because they'll give you blowjobs.

[George Dunham]

He used even sharper language than that. And I said, because I thought we were still in delay. I said, not the white women. I know. Meantime, our co worker Corby calls us and says, or he called you. And he went, ah, man, that was on the air. On the air. So this goes to the fcc and their board of decency listens to his questioning. My joke on repeat going, yeah, I don't know. What do you think?

[Craig Miller]

And the station was already under investigation. That was the other thing is we. We were. They were investigating our afternoon show for an F bomb that they thought went over the air. They were later cleared, but because the station was already being investigated, they thought that this was transgression number two. And so they suspended all of us for a week. Hardline never got suspended.

[Gordon Keith]

No, they're the ones being investigated. They actually didn't even open up a formal investigation against us. It was the station doing the preemptive. Yeah, we take care of our own here. Don't worry, fcc. You don't have to look at us.

[George Dunham]

I think our bosses listened to the tape and went, wow, okay. Do you think we were close to being fired?

[Gordon Keith]

No, no, no, I don't think.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Craig Miller]

No.

[George Dunham]

All right.

[Gordon Keith]

We're suspended. A week without pay.

[George Dunham]

You're still mad about that, aren't you?

[Gordon Keith]

I'm mad about it because they said, hey, we just need you to take one for the team. We'll make it whole later. We'll catch you up later. And that day never came because that company sold us like a year later. And they're like, we're out of that.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, we don't care.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay. This is, I guess for me it says, when is Keeping up with the Joneses coming out? That is a cartoon.

[George Dunham]

Great question.

[Gordon Keith]

An animated show that I did the voice of Jerry Jones for that's going to be on Adult Swim.

[George Dunham]

I wonder what that would sound like. Y' all want to hear what that would sound like? A Jerry Jones.

[Gordon Keith]

Here's Michael Irvin to introduce it.

[George Dunham]

Hi, Michael Irvin.

[Gordon Keith]

What was your inspiration for Chris? Chris. Anyone know the character Chris? Chris, this is the sales guy. Everyone knows a Chris. Chris, the sales guy who's just always pressing you to come on. You want to sign on the dotted line? Hey, man, I was totally kicking it in my Aston Martin this weekend. That guy, everyone knows it. I think that it was kind of a conglomeration of all of the salespeople we've ever had.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, it's basically every guy that lives in uptown Dallas.

[Gordon Keith]

Right, dudes? All right, this one is for you two.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

What is Gordo's funniest character to you both and where it's tough to not laugh, like, which one do you have a hard time?

[Craig Miller]

For me, it's about a three or four way tie between fake Nolan Ryan, Rick Skinladen, fake Tiger Woods, Carlton Maxwell, is up there, too. Those are probably the four that I think I laugh the hardest. Without a doubt. The bit that I laugh the hardest at are the Skin Lannan brothers. There's just something about them. They are just. Because the theater of the mind is one is a giant and the other is really tiny. But they love each other so much, and they do everything together, and they're almost always failing at whatever they do, but they don't care. And they're just. And the voices are so bizarre that just everything about that bit, I think, is perfection. And just. I can't keep a straight face during the whole bit.

[Gordon Keith]

I love them, too, and George hates them. We disagree on characters, I think, more than we agree. It feels like that anyway.

[George Dunham]

Yes. Because I think three of his best characters are relatively new ones to me. He knocks Greg Olson out of the park every time he does it. It sounds like him. The content is really funny. His Nico Harrison. I know y' all wanted him fired, but, man, I wish you would have hung out just for a few more months. Oh, good question. Hilarious. And then his Bruce Bochy was just amazing. Yeah, all great.

[Craig Miller]

Everybody should know that I have one character that I will veto, and that is Clarence Murphy, the maintenance man.

[Gordon Keith]

That's why we haven't heard on the air in 10 years.

[Craig Miller]

But everybody should also know that these two each have about 40 characters that they will veto.

[George Dunham]

They make it on, though, somehow we honor the Clarence Murphy thing. And I think he's a funny Clarence. Fans in the house. Bring back Clarence. Bring back Clarence. Okay, Nigel,

[Gordon Keith]

which one of you has the funniest abortion story?

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

All right, skip that one.

[George Dunham]

Jeez.

[Gordon Keith]

Answer's George, by the way, who has the. Outside of the movie Zookeeper?

[George Dunham]

It was promising when the previous came out.

[Gordon Keith]

Does it say read out loud Outside

[George Dunham]

of the movie Zookeeper and Casey Musk Musgrave's diarrhea. How many other game changers? What is that? Yeah, yeah, Game changers.

[Gordon Keith]

Has George.

[George Dunham]

Has George experience?

[Gordon Keith]

Look, did you say that Casey Musgrave's diary is a game?

[George Dunham]

No, I never said that.

[Gordon Keith]

What does that even mean?

[George Dunham]

Y' all are obsessed with two tweets that she's had about no problems, like four or five. Now, even if it's four or five,

[Craig Miller]

she's an amazing gastrointestinal issue.

[George Dunham]

I know, but you guys. You guys focus on that and not her incredible writing ability and singing ability and lookability.

[Gordon Keith]

Lookability.

[George Dunham]

She's got a lot of look ability, baby.

[Gordon Keith]

Michael Irvin again. How many women are in here because of Gordon oh, what? Let's see. My wife is a huge fan and today is her birthday. Please wish Jill a happy birthday. Where are you, Jill? Balcony.

[George Dunham]

Jill.

[Gordon Keith]

Where's Jill?

[Craig Miller]

Happy birthday.

[George Dunham]

Oh, no.

[Gordon Keith]

There's also having a birthday as Patrick today. Birthday for a brother. What is this? Okay, got this one. Shout out to birthday girl. Wow, we have lots of birthday girls. Tuesday Cannon. That is such a fake name. Tuesday Cannon. Where's Tuesday Canon.

[George Dunham]

Not a bad band name.

[Gordon Keith]

I guess that's your band there. No. Okay, here's one from Kyle. Where do you guys see yourself in five years? I already have the little plot picked out at Sparkman Hillcrest. It's gonna be nice and sweet. There's Jeff Lyles, ladies and gentlemen.

[George Dunham]

Look at that.

[Gordon Keith]

Legend. Local legend, Jeff Lyles. All right, do we have someone with a question who would like to ask?

[George Dunham]

I guess Jeff.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, Jeff himself.

[Audience Member]

I do, actually. This is a weird one. Most sports fans, you know, they got their favorite players, star guys, the amazing players, whatever. When I was a little kid, my dad used to take me to Sears at Valley View Mall to get autographs of Cowboys players. And one day I went there to meet this guy who was a second string running back. His name was Claxton Welch. One career td. Nobody there to meet him except me. And he sat there and talked to me for like 30 minutes. And he immediately became my favorite Dallas Cowboy player. And what I'm gonna ask you guys about is underdogs, you know, spares. Guys who never do anything, never get any credit or whatever. Do you have like favorite athletes that never did anything?

[George Dunham]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I always rooted for the guy who I thought was better than everyone else thought. Turns out I was right on one of them. Remember, I was a big Dale Ellis fan.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah.

[George Dunham]

Before he really started flourishing, then went on to become an all star. Yeah, I love the underdog player that, you know, occasionally Darrell Clack stands out as a Cowboy running back that they eventually cut. Didn't get a lot of time. Who's the guy from Iowa that we like? Norm Granger. Yeah. You know, guys who maybe don't play as much, but. Yeah, I think every sports fan has the guy you root for that if they would just start him, if coach would just put him in.

[Gordon Keith]

I remember me championing Tony Romo. A little guy named Tony Romo.

[Audience Member]

I was about to say Romo.

[George Dunham]

I don't think you did.

[Craig Miller]

Mine came from.

[Gordon Keith]

I did okay. Dax Dak Prescott. I championed. And you guys, you guys told me I was an idiot.

[George Dunham]

No, we didn't say that.

[Audience Member]

Please.

[George Dunham]

But we just said when Romo was better, he was going to be all revisionist history.

[Craig Miller]

Well, I never had a personal experience like you had, but mine came from my baseball card collection or my football card or basketball cards. Yes. I would have, you know, Hank Aaron and Willie Mays, but I would always find these guys that something about their baseball card would stand out to me. And I remember there was an outfielder for the a's in the 70s named Mitchell Page. Probably nobody's ever heard of him, but on the back of his card I noticed in his rookie year, he had 20 home runs and 22 stolen bases. And I thought, wow, this guy's got power and speed. For whatever reason. To this day, I'll go on ebay and look for Mitchell Page baseball cards. And he never amounted to anything after that rookie season. But I have a lot of those cases where a basketball, you know, I had Dr. J cards and iceman cards, but there would be some guy that nobody had ever heard of. But I looked at the back of his card and there was an interesting biographical note or he had a really interesting stat line or had some great game that they described. And I just kind of. I have 20 of those names in my memory banks that have stayed with me forever. And those were underdogs, but they never really.

[Audience Member]

What about individual moments? Like when Clint Longley had his moment.

[George Dunham]

The Mad Bomber.

[Audience Member]

Yeah. I mean, that was the only thing he ever did in his career.

[George Dunham]

74 Thanksgiving against the Redskins.

[Audience Member]

Yeah, I was there.

[George Dunham]

I remember.

[Gordon Keith]

Sorry.

[Audience Member]

Our family used to take the bus from Valley View Mall, you know, and you'd park there and you'd ride there. And my family all left. They left me there at the game by myself with an NFL player. And I told him he. This guy was going to pull it out. And they thought I was crazy. They went ahead and went home and I ended up staying there and seeing it.

[George Dunham]

I love that. Jeez, that's awesome.

[Audience Member]

David Clyde. David Clyde is another one for the Rangers.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

He's the guy that threw out his arm or something like that.

[Craig Miller]

He got brought up too early. He was an 18 year old phenom

[George Dunham]

and right after he graduated high school,

[Craig Miller]

drafted right out of high school and they started him in the bigs like a week later.

[Audience Member]

Yeah, it was a publicity.

[George Dunham]

It was too much for him.

[Craig Miller]

And he really, again, never amounted to much, sadly, because he had incredible talent. Hey, thanks. Thanks for coming up here.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Gordon Keith]

Ladies and gentlemen.

[Audience Member]

And thanks to y' all for coming.

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[Gordon Keith]

Okay, this is a written question. When you guys retire from radio podcasting, do you have an agreement to retire together? Lots of emotion on that one.

[Craig Miller]

I would say. We do not have a written agreement, but it will happen at gunpoint.

[Gordon Keith]

One guy will force the other ones to retire.

[Craig Miller]

Yes.

[George Dunham]

We can't do this anymore. Stop.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay. Yes, sir. What's your name? Garrett. Garrett, I wanted to thank you for naming my new band Unexplained Clown. Great idea.

[George Dunham]

Great idea.

[Gordon Keith]

I appreciate that. I wanted to know what you guys look forward to every year annual trip. Is it the Super Bowl? Is it the campown? Is it going to training camp? What is it? What is it that you guys look forward to the most?

[Craig Miller]

For me, I think it's training camp.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, me too.

[Craig Miller]

I think training camp is the most fun, even though it's in California and it's hell on us because we have to wake up at 2:30 or 3 in the morning, so you're, you're, you're dragging all day.

[Gordon Keith]

Such wamps.

[Craig Miller]

But we're done at 7 in the morning, so. And we're out there with all of our buddies from the radio station and it's just so beautiful out there. It's, you know, it's 110 here and out there in July, it's 75 every day.

[George Dunham]

And.

[Craig Miller]

And it's. It's also fun hanging around the Cowboys because they're O and O. Nobody got a chance. We're not, we're not ripping them yet for a 2 and 5 start. And, yeah, it's just beautiful out there. I think that's my favorite.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, me too. And I don't enjoy it as. Probably as much as I used to, but I really like. I know it sounds kind of boring, but I like watching practice and Here you have access to watch an NFL team practice. And it used to be awesome when Jimmy was the coach.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah.

[George Dunham]

You basically saw a game every day. It was full contact and it was great. But yeah, I still enjoy that and learning the guys on the team and who's going to make the team. To me, that's still really cool.

[Craig Miller]

I don't. I don't agree with that because I give myself after 7 o' clock in the morning, the rest of the day off. Yeah, I don't have to go to practice.

[George Dunham]

I like practice much.

[Gordon Keith]

This says George. When are you going to debut the fake Masai U Jerry

[George Dunham]

Sounds like more of a Gordo character. What do you think?

[Gordon Keith]

I think I want to keep my job for a little while longer. No, I think that we'll develop one of those. Probably voice.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, why not?

[Gordon Keith]

We do. We've done other Mavs characters.

[George Dunham]

Sure.

[Gordon Keith]

Including Dirk with a British accent for some reason. This one comes to us from. Oh, this is unsigned, so it's anonymous.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

Did Mickey Mouse really get humped by Porky Pig to make his eye feel better?

[Craig Miller]

From a recent episode.

[Gordon Keith]

From last episode.

[George Dunham]

Wasn't it again from a Gordo story that apparently pig semen can cure eye cancer in mice, so that's why Mickey chimed in on it.

[Gordon Keith]

Gordo, what are the names of your six cats from Brandy?

[George Dunham]

That is amazing.

[Gordon Keith]

People asking about the names of the six cats. Yeah, I don't even know if they're all named, to be quite honest with you. No, they are. Twinkie. Angel. Coopie.

[Craig Miller]

Coopy.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. Cupido. Okay, yeah, Cupido. Tully. And who am I missing? Angel.

[Craig Miller]

Lho.

[George Dunham]

This was the Lho.

[Gordon Keith]

No, there's no lh.

[Craig Miller]

You have one named Lho?

[Gordon Keith]

No, I don't have anyone named Lho.

[Audience Member]

Weird.

[Gordon Keith]

Oh, and Snuggles. Snuggles.

[George Dunham]

Snuggles the cat.

[Gordon Keith]

What an odd collection of names that is. But yeah, those are my six dwarf dwarves. And I'm Snow White to them. Okay, Gordon, why did you stop doing Dr. Vaginissimus Boy?

[George Dunham]

That's a great question. What's wrong with that guy?

[Craig Miller]

Speaking of training camp, that's where he would always appear.

[Gordon Keith]

And can you please bring it back? I agree, it's actually very sad story.

[George Dunham]

Here comes the fake. Something happened to the character thing.

[Gordon Keith]

Dr. Vaginismus went out for a motorcycle ride one day and he decided that was the day he wasn't going to wear a helmet.

[George Dunham]

Oh, man.

[Gordon Keith]

And he was rounding a long, sweeping right turn. Little did he know there was someone from Great Britain who was driving here. In America who was confused about our laws. And it was a big box delivery truck and it plowed over Dr. Vaginissimus. Yeah, but he survived and was unharmed.

[George Dunham]

Oh.

[Gordon Keith]

But the next week he got Covid.

[George Dunham]

Did he mend.

[Gordon Keith]

No, no, he had had the vaccine and everything.

[George Dunham]

Oh, okay.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, yeah, he was fine.

[George Dunham]

Okay, well, we'll hear from him at training camp, so.

[Gordon Keith]

So maybe you'll hear from him at training camp.

[Audience Member]

Yay.

[Craig Miller]

We did have two characters that were killed very early in the history of our show. And for whatever reason, these two guys observed their deaths. It was year three or four, we're at Colonial Country Club for the golf tournament, and they started doing these two characters called Chauncey and Marmalade. They were two caddies that worked at the country club and they just kind of mumbled to each other and I didn't think they were very good. So if we came back from commercial break and I said, I have bad news. Chauncey and Marmalade fell off the top floor of the Colonial Country Club clubhouse. They both passed away. And so we can't have them on anymore. And for whatever reason, you guys accepted them.

[George Dunham]

I know, I know somehow.

[Craig Miller]

And never tried to do them again.

[Gordon Keith]

The only character death.

[Craig Miller]

The only character deaths that you guys have just honored, you were. It's like you believed it.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, I guess we did. Craig thought they were funny.

[Gordon Keith]

Craig, my son James, who is 10 years old, wants to know why you hate Captain Sully Sullenberg.

[George Dunham]

That's a good question. A great American.

[Gordon Keith]

I don't find some inspirational Craig James.

[Craig Miller]

I don't hate him. I would say I just despise him.

[George Dunham]

Oh, man.

[Craig Miller]

Now I.

[Gordon Keith]

You were offended that he saved 184 lives?

[Craig Miller]

No, I wasn't offended by that. I was offended at how he, since that moment, has gone above and beyond and out of his way to put the spotlight on him at all times. And I've been told by pilots, I sat next to a Navy pilot once on a flight and we started talking about flying planes. I said, so if something happened with this plane, the pilot passed out, you could land this? And he goes, yes. He goes, these things are so easy to fly. And I said, well, what about Sully? And you know the miracle on the Hudson? And he goes, that was not a miracle. He said, anybody could do that.

[Gordon Keith]

And one guy who probably had a

[Craig Miller]

few drinks in it, Navy pilot, he serves our country. Country, sir.

[Gordon Keith]

Did you.

[George Dunham]

Vodka tonics in.

[Craig Miller]

Did you.

[Gordon Keith]

I'm saluting.

[George Dunham]

No, but I still thought that.

[Craig Miller]

I think Sully, as The plane got hit by the geese or whatever. I think he sensed a book deal and on purpose landed it on the Hudson and then knew that he'd be set for life after that.

[George Dunham]

So you think he could have made it back to the airport?

[Craig Miller]

There's no question he could have. He could have made it to London, but he decided he wanted a book deal and landed it on the Hudson.

[Gordon Keith]

But you're not a geese truther and that you think the geese were real and the plane really was disabled.

[Craig Miller]

I don't think we ever found out.

[Gordon Keith]

I've heard from pilots that said that it was a legit heroic thing that he did and that he is very inspirational to a lot of young people. People.

[George Dunham]

That's what a pilot, James.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, no, those pilots are drunk.

[Gordon Keith]

What is the wildest night you have had on a Super bowl trip? Oh, this one's easy. This one's easy.

[George Dunham]

Okay. It gets put on me. But Craig was part of this, too.

[Craig Miller]

I was.

[George Dunham]

It was in New Orleans, Super Bowl 31. It was the year after the Cowboys won their last Super Bowl. So the next year is Green Bay and New England, and we had broadcasted all week long, and we're in New Orleans. So, hey, let's go out and have a good time. So we did, and we went to Bourbon street, and that's when we ran into Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. And we were doing a weekly show with him. So we went up and talked with him a little bit, and then I got the attention of his wife, Jean, and she said, could you do me a favor? And next time you go over there and talk to Jerry, could you tell him that his family is ready to go? And I said, well, yeah, sure, no problem. I mean, why did you think that

[Gordon Keith]

was gonna be easy? I had a lot of these, so I thought, yeah, to jump in the middle of that family dynamic.

[Craig Miller]

Never get into a domestic with any family.

[George Dunham]

To me. To me, it sounded just like an innocent request. Like he knew it was about time to go. So I told him and I said, hey, Jerry, your wife just said that the family's ready to go. And he looked at me as he's shaking his glass of whiskey and something, and he said, why don't you get the fuck out of my face? And I was like, oh, my gosh. I pissed off Jerry Jones. And he said, I apologize. Sit down. What are you drinking? He felt bad about it and he immediately apologized. Immediately. It's about, what, 11 o'? Clock? And we got home the next day at 7 o' clock in the Morning.

[Craig Miller]

So, yeah, he came. We were sharing a hotel room, and I got into the hotel room around four, and in comes George around seven. And he's wearing his glasses, but it only has one lens in it. The other one had fallen out.

[George Dunham]

I'll tell you about it tomorrow somewhere. Don't worry about it.

[Craig Miller]

And I was like, where have you been? He goes, you wouldn't believe it if I told you. The whole night I was with Jerry, and a patrol car dropped me off here at the hotel. Cause this patrol car was taking us around all these different bars. And Jerry even gave you, like, a roll of hundreds and told you to buy booze for this end of the bar.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, I took care of one side of the bar he took. And, I mean, I think he gave me, like, 400 bucks. And he said, you take care. How would it sound?

[Gordon Keith]

You take care of them over there. I'll take care of these over here.

[George Dunham]

And we did. And somehow Willie Roaf was there that night. Great offensive lineman.

[Craig Miller]

And didn't Jerry hand feed you a chili dog?

[George Dunham]

He did. There was.

[Gordon Keith]

You gotta get to the homoerotic moment. This is the part I want to hear.

[George Dunham]

We. We pulled up to this, the Spar, and he said, hey, I know that guy. That's Freezy. Hey, Freezy, give us a couple chili dogs. So this guy named Freezy, and he's

[Gordon Keith]

just a street vendor, right?

[Audience Member]

Yeah.

[George Dunham]

And Jerry knew him somehow, and he said, give us a couple of those chili dogs. So he brought them over, and Jerry, you know, threw him probably 100 for two chili dogs.

[Gordon Keith]

And you're in the back of the patrol car.

[George Dunham]

Back of a patrol car.

[Gordon Keith]

And so. And so you were cuffed so you couldn't eat the chili dog?

[George Dunham]

No, we weren't cuffed. We had police Uber for some reason that night. And Jerry took out a spork, and he cut off a piece of the chili dog. And he said, you want to taste a piece of heaven on earth? And it was. It was the best chili dog I've ever had.

[Gordon Keith]

So you've had a billionaire.

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

Spork a chili dog into your mouth.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, we had a great time.

[Craig Miller]

Wasn't there also the moment where you were at one end of the bar and he's at the other and you're talking to. Maybe you're talking to some woman or something.

[George Dunham]

There's a couple from Dallas.

[Gordon Keith]

Couple from Dallas. All right, I want to hear this one.

[Craig Miller]

Man and woman. And Jerry comes over to you and says, george, you trying to get you some

[George Dunham]

again? He used a very Colorful word. I said.

[Gordon Keith]

No, he used a very feline word.

[George Dunham]

The same thing that Gordon's surrounded by right now. Six cats.

[Gordon Keith]

And. And were you.

[George Dunham]

No, I was taking care of that side of the bar and the unknown part of this story, that's really kind of sad and pathetic. And I don't think. I didn't hear about this for a couple of years. One of my sons had to be taken to the hospital that night, and my wife was up all night with our middle son, Blake, who. Gosh, was he 4 or 5 at the time? Yeah, I heard about that one for a while.

[Gordon Keith]

So your son. Your son's in medical distress, right. And you're gallivanting around New Orleans eating

[George Dunham]

chore dogs and God knows what.

[Gordon Keith]

And then a patrol car.

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Craig Miller]

And how did you lose the lens?

[George Dunham]

Okay, we got outside of some bar and we ran into. I don't think it was a fight, but it was like, just this mismatch of people. And I got.

[Gordon Keith]

Did you say Jerry had, like, a machine gun and had strained him out?

[George Dunham]

No, there was no gunfire, but there was, like, people bustling back and forth. And, you know, I was kind of wobbly at the moment, and I got, like, shoulder checked and my glasses flew off and landed on the sidewalk. And one of the lenses almost went down into a grate. And I went, oh, no, where is it? Wait, it must have, because I didn't have it the next day. Yeah, so I guess it disappeared into that grate or to the sewer system or whatever. And that's why the next day we had to go to LensCrafters.

[Craig Miller]

I remember that.

[Gordon Keith]

Oh, there's nothing. Something like a post drinking night lenscrafter visit, is there?

[George Dunham]

Are y' all open on Sunday?

[Gordon Keith]

Can y' all open special? Come on, you gotta cut me some slack. I have a kid in the hospital.

[Craig Miller]

Wouldn't you love video of that entire.

[Gordon Keith]

Oh, my gosh, yes.

[Craig Miller]

Wouldn't that be great?

[Gordon Keith]

And I love that the. The coda to the story is that to hush Giorgio up, Jerry Jones made him the voice of Texas Stadium in the next 10 years.

[George Dunham]

Was that hush?

[Gordon Keith]

That was total hush money where you would never tell that story. And yet you've told it about 50 times so far.

[George Dunham]

Well, what a good laugh. Yeah. Maybe twice a year since I've told the story.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, well, it was more than worth it. Yes. That was the wildest night ever on a Super bowl trip. I don't think there's anything that's come close to that.

[George Dunham]

No, nothing even close. And we really don't go out like we used to. I mean, we're.

[Gordon Keith]

We're getting up there.

[Craig Miller]

Back in the days at training camp in the 90s, Austin, or even early days out in California, the media would go out every night together, and half of the players would be there joining us. And Jerry. Yeah. Especially in Austin, there were several years where, I mean, we just. We followed Jerry or whatever group was going around, and Jerry would keep bars open. We'd be in a bar at 2am and the owner would say, okay, you know, put the lights up. We're closing. And Jerry would pay the guy to keep it open illegally till three or four, till he was done drinking.

[Gordon Keith]

And he's how old now?

[George Dunham]

80.

[Gordon Keith]

83.

[George Dunham]

83 or 4? Yeah, I'll be 84 this fall.

[Gordon Keith]

And all that mileage has never caught up with.

[Craig Miller]

I know.

[George Dunham]

It doesn't seem to.

[Gordon Keith]

He still has energy.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, he looks pretty good.

[Gordon Keith]

It's amazing. Well, speaking of energy and losing it, I need to go to bed. I can't tell you how great this evening has been.

[George Dunham]

Seriously. Thank you all.

[Gordon Keith]

It really is a special moment. It's special that you guys took time out of your lives to come here and spend this evening with us in this beautiful place and this beautiful night. And I'm so glad that we're all alive tonight to see this moment and be together, because it is something that I'm gonna remember for the rest of my life that we were able to do this. We didn't think it would happen. Giorgio, our eternal optimist, said, let's do it.

[George Dunham]

Let's do it.

[Gordon Keith]

And thank God he did.

[George Dunham]

Thanks to the Kessler, thanks to DNM Leasing, and mainly thank you. Appreciate y'.

[Audience Member]

All.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hi, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Are you looking for a beach read this summer? May I suggest your big wireless bill? It's got suspense, mystery, a slight, flat emotional arc, and a shocking twist where you realize you've been overpaying the entire time. Fortunately, though, Mint's story is better. Every plan, $15 a month, even unlimited. That's it. Happy ending.

[George Dunham]

Zero tears.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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