The Return of Gordo's Corner - Episode 35

Summary

The Musers The Podcast

Episode 35: The Return of Gordo's Corner

Date: March 11, 2026
Hosts: Gordon Keith, George Dunham, Craig “Junior” Miller
Theme: Absurdity, wit, and offbeat insight return as Gordon leads the show, with a wide-ranging "Gordo's Corner" full of odd news, listener mail, body image talk, a philosophical grab bag, and the Musers’ classic chemistry.

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Episode Overview

This week, Gordon Keith takes the helm, delivering an extended “Gordo's Corner” – a signature, freewheeling segment where the Musers bite into bizarre news stories, debate societal quirks, and air their trademark banter. Much of the episode explores body image (from male plastic surgery and childhood nicknames to camel beauty pageants), philosophical conundrums, and memorable hotel horrors, all stitched together with irreverence and candid personal stories.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Listener Mail (00:00–07:30)

• Absurd Start: Gordon cracks jokes about step-sibling relationships, referencing previous episodes and quickly veering into a tongue-in-cheek “letter” from a supposed listener.
• Listener Mail ("Letter of the Week"):
  • Story from "Karen" about step-siblings who date in secret, ignites group debate about familial boundaries, social taboos, and “squatters’ rights” in relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Craig Miller (on step-sibling relationships):
  “Whoever got there first, they have squatters rights and any relationship after that cannot happen.” (06:42)

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2. Gordo’s Grab Bag: Jim Carrey’s New Face & Male Plastic Surgery (09:28–31:10)

• Jim Carrey’s Appearance:
  • Discussion on Carrey’s rumored facial enhancements and transition away from Hollywood to painting and existential musings.
• Society & Male Plastic Surgery:
  • Debate on the rise of men embracing cosmetic procedures versus lingering stigmas.
  • Reflections on personal appearance, aging, and why men and women face different expectations.

Notable Exchanges:

• Craig Miller:
  “Plastic surgery… it just becomes an addiction with them. It’s compulsive, like people who can’t get enough tattoos.” (18:40)
• George Dunham:
  “If you do it and it looks obvious you had work done, why do it? Kenny Rogers looked like a china doll with a beard.” (16:34)
• Gordon Keith:
  “Why do we insist that guys have to be more natural than women?" (26:08)
• Craig:
  “Women have been expected by society to look beautiful... Men can just age and it doesn’t matter.” (26:27)

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3. Personal Stories: Birthmarks, Nicknames, and Body Acceptance (21:45–29:10)

• George Shares:
  • Childhood story of being teased for his neck birthmark (“Spot Neck”) and how self-acceptance evolved.
• Society’s Double Standards:
  • Continued reflection on changing attitudes about appearance and self-image across genders.
• Embracing Imperfection:
  • Craig and George both discuss aging, going grey, and learning to let go of insecurities.

Memorable Moments:

• George (on childhood teasing):
  “I just want to blend in with everybody and not be announced as Spot Neck as I get on the bus.” (24:43)
• Craig:
  “Kids say the darndest things, but they also say the cruelest things. They are just merciless.” (24:28)

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4. Hotel Horror Stories & Gross-Out News (31:25–40:56)

• Viral TikTok "Hack":
  • Discussion of an influencer cleaning underwear in hotel coffee makers—met with disgust and concern for hotel hygiene.
• Grossest Hotel Experiences:
  • All three share disturbing stories—stained sheets, filthy bathrooms, and questionable safety—including Gordon’s infamous night in a run-down Mississippi motel.

Notable Quotes:

• Gordon:
  “You don’t want to be drinking some old woman’s slug trail… It’s so nasty.” (34:28)
• Craig:
  “Every hotel I go in, I’m now going to be thinking that someone just cleaned their panties in this coffee maker…” (34:41)
• George:
  “I would have taken my chances on the street.” (38:44)

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5. Camel Beauty Pageant Scandal (40:48–48:23)

• News Story:
  • Twenty camels disqualified from a high-stakes beauty contest for cosmetic enhancements (fillers, Botox, silicone humps).
• Spiraling Banter:
  • Laughter over the absurdity of “desert elegance,” strict camel beauty standards, and even how this parallels Kenny Rogers and Bill Clinton jokes.

Notable Moments:

• Gordon:
  “Camel beauty contest are a huge deal... Veterinary inspections revealed the animals had extensive procedures.” (41:20)
• George:
  “How can you make a camel look better? They look dumb no matter what!” (42:27)
• Craig (new band name):
  "Desert Elegance" (47:57)

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6. Philosophical Conundrums (49:12–61:38)

• Deep Questions:
  • Would a soldier who killed an innocent but lived righteously afterward go to heaven?
  • Would you rather change one event in your past, or see the future but not change it?
  • Would you sacrifice years of your life to teleport, or fly at walking speed?
• Philosophical Tension:
  • Spirited debate on guilt, religion, unintended consequences (“butterfly effect”), and regrets.

Notable Quotes:

• George (quoting John Prine):
  “Jesus don’t like killing, no matter what the killing’s for. And your flag decal won’t get you into heaven anymore.” (51:16)
• Craig:
  “My guess is most butterfly effects are very tiny and do not really change the course of anything.” (57:02)
• Gordon:
  “People would make fun of you so bad, G—, you think the birthmark got you made fun of? The guy who flies, don’t care, wearing the spandex… and everyone just watches you slowly flying…” (59:42)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------------------|------------| | Listener Letter & Step-Sibling Debate | 00:00–07:30| | Jim Carrey / Male Plastic Surgery | 09:28–31:10| | Birthmarks, Nicknames & Body Acceptance | 21:45–29:10| | Hotel Coffee-Maker-Gate & Horror Stories | 31:25–40:56| | Camel Beauty Scandal & Desert Elegance | 40:48–48:23| | Philosophical Conundrums (War, Regret, Powers) | 49:12–61:38|

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Most Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Craig Miller declares at multiple points (07:24 & 07:21):
  “I’m a big champion of [step-sibling relationships].”
• Gordon Keith’s visual on hotel coffee:
  “You don’t want to be drinking some old woman’s slug trail.” (34:28)
• George on childhood nickname:
  “Kids used to call me Spot Neck... it used to just—yeah, it was really hurtful.” (24:16)
• Absurd camel contest insight:
  “Camel beauty pageant are a huge deal… overall desert elegance.” (47:57)
• Final philosophical laugh:
  “In the course of this podcast, I’ve taken a year off my life.” – George (61:35)

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Tone & Originality

• Tone: Classic Musers—irreverent, candid, sometimes juvenile, but always sincere and quick-witted. Playful ribbing, genuine self-reflection, and the freedom to veer from absurdity to real insight defines the episode.
• Memorable Chemistry: The hosts riff off each other's stories, create surreal jokes (camel cosmetic surgery, infamous hotels, "Spot Neck"), and aren't afraid to poke fun at themselves or each other.

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Takeaways

This episode stands out for its mix of the weird (step-sibling etiquette, camel Botox), real (body image, childhood trauma), and thought-provoking (life after guilt, butterfly effect, would-you-rather powers). Gordo's Corner, unleashed for an entire show, keeps the pace brisk, the laughs frequent, and the insight woven together by decades of friendship.

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to The Musers, this episode is a perfect microcosm:

• You’ll laugh at the absurd banter,
• Relate to fears about hotels and aging,
• And get drawn into surprisingly earnest questions about regret and forgiveness.

Don’t miss the side-by-side Bill Clinton/Star Trek alien talk (47:02) or the “Spot Neck” origin story (24:16) to experience both the humor and heart of this trio.

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Transcript

[George Dunham]

Okay, yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

So you're approving of step incest?

[Craig Miller]

Yes, yes, correct.

[Gordon Keith]

I got that score down here. I got it down here.

[Craig Miller]

I'm a big champion of that.

[Gordon Keith]

It's the Musers the podcast and episode 35, the return of Gordo's Corner. Hey there. Welcome to the Musers the podcast. It's your old pal Gordo and your

[George Dunham]

old pal George too, Craig.

[Gordon Keith]

Who's that other guy over there?

[Craig Miller]

Your old, old pal Craig.

[Gordon Keith]

Ah, yes, yes. So this is the Muse, the podcast. We're three buddies who grew up in the same womb together. The same home womb. What was it that. Do you have homerooms in college or is that only an elementary school?

[George Dunham]

Elementary school, I guess.

[Gordon Keith]

Oh.

[Craig Miller]

Anyway, I thought we had it in high school too.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, I think some did.

[Craig Miller]

Huh. Seemed like we started off every day in high school in our home room. Maybe I'm making that up.

[Gordon Keith]

I didn't.

[George Dunham]

I.

[Gordon Keith]

It was like different each six weeks when we'd have a different class or something like that. I don't know. But we are the buddies who bring you this very podcast. We've been doing a radio show together for like 30, 20 years, a long time. And now we're doing podcasts. And we've had so much fun doing this with you guys. The podcast listeners are extra special. And you know what they do in addition to that? They send us special letters to our email address, themuserspodmail.com and I got one here that I'd like to read. I'll start off right here. My formerly nicotine stained hands. It says, dear Musers, the podcast. I'm so glad that Gordon is leading this week's podcast because he is so good when he leads it and it's my favorite when he does it because it's really well prepared and he does all the things that we like so much as podcast listeners. I am a mother of. No, I'm a father of.

[Craig Miller]

This sounds made up.

[Gordon Keith]

What? It's not made up? No, it's not well written and it's signed Crystal and Stephanie. And we have sleepovers together and we have fun. Even though we're married to men. We also like to do other stuff. And then they have some pictures, so.

[Craig Miller]

Okay, can I see those?

[Gordon Keith]

Well, I mean, just the pictures.

[George Dunham]

Well, the blank page.

[Gordon Keith]

No, it's not. All right. No, no. It's time for the real letter of the week. And of course, since I'm leading it, you know, these are always much more produced than the episodes where you guys.

[George Dunham]

First time ever.

[Gordon Keith]

And here is the Time for the letter of the week with your host for today's this letter of the week, the man, Gordon.

[George Dunham]

Is that a tuna can you recorded?

[Gordon Keith]

No, that's our professional voiceover guy. He gets a lot of work. He works out of Canada, but he does a lot of stuff for a lot of people. Anyway, we were very lucky to get him.

[George Dunham]

I would have done another take on that.

[Gordon Keith]

Yes. So it's time for the letter of the week. This comes to us from Karen. She said, regarding your podcast, the episode 34 Brady Bunch makeout session.

[Craig Miller]

33.

[Gordon Keith]

33. Yes, 33 Brady Bunch make out episode.

[Craig Miller]

Tony Dorset, 33, not Herschel Walker.

[Gordon Keith]

She said, one of my college boyfriends had friends. One of her college boyfriends. So he had quite a few there in college. One of my college boyfriends had friends who were stepbrother and stepsister and they were a couple. Okay, so they're in college, they're step siblings, and they are a couple.

[Craig Miller]

Were they a couple before they were step siblings?

[Gordon Keith]

She says their name. She names them dawn and Dawn. So that's really their names.

[Craig Miller]

Wow.

[Gordon Keith]

Their parents had gotten together while they were in college or shortly right before college.

[Craig Miller]

Okay, that makes some sense.

[Gordon Keith]

So they never lived together as siblings, but they were still keeping it secret from their family.

[Craig Miller]

Hmm. Ooh, this sounds like a movie. Yeah, a racy movie.

[Gordon Keith]

She says they've been together for a while, like six months or so. So it wasn't just like they hooked up one drunken college party night. They've been dating for half a year or so. At this point, when she knew this couple, the step sibling couple, she says, I always wondered how hard it was to keep it a secret at family get togethers. If you have that kind of chemistry and you have that relationship and then you have to pretend like you're so what you, what you studying in school?

[George Dunham]

What's going on? I hadn't seen you in a long time.

[Gordon Keith]

What's happening? That's awkward.

[George Dunham]

That's uncomfortable. So the mom and dad dated first, Is that right or.

[Craig Miller]

No, they dated.

[George Dunham]

They did it first.

[Gordon Keith]

Well, no, it doesn't say here. I'm assuming that the parents dated first because the parents were married and this couple had only been together for six months.

[Craig Miller]

Oh, okay. I thought you said they said earlier that they had been together as a couple before their parents got together.

[Gordon Keith]

It said the parents had gotten together while they were in college or shortly right before they went to college. So before their children went to college.

[Craig Miller]

Okay, I thought that was they meaning this. The stepbrother and Sister got together? No, at that time.

[Gordon Keith]

And so you would assume the parents had dated for quite some time before they marry each other, Right?

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

And this couple, the step siblings, been together for six months.

[George Dunham]

So whoever is second to the finish line has to bail.

[Craig Miller]

Yes.

[Gordon Keith]

That's your rule.

[Craig Miller]

Yes.

[George Dunham]

If it's the parents who start dating after the college kids started dating, then they've got a bail and vice versa.

[Gordon Keith]

But what if the sex is really good?

[George Dunham]

I don't care. We can't have.

[Gordon Keith]

And it's so illicit.

[George Dunham]

We can't have the Brady Bunch makeout scenario. We just can't.

[Gordon Keith]

Well, she continues. Karen continues and says, I wonder what would happen. I always wondered what would happen when they broke up and they would still have to see each other all the time again.

[George Dunham]

So complicated.

[Gordon Keith]

So even if you. Even if it doesn't last and you break up, you still have to see them at this get together. And now you have to still continue to be like you barely know each other, despite the fact you're trying to conceal the fact that you're really pissed off at the other one for cheating on you or messing around with another step sibling.

[George Dunham]

I don't know what all sorts of

[Gordon Keith]

problems caused their breakup, but man, that's uncomfortable.

[Craig Miller]

I agree with George. Whoever got there first, they have squatters rights and any relationship after that cannot happen. Can't make out within that family dynamic.

[Gordon Keith]

Even if, let's say that they're estranged from their parents though, like there's no family parties afterwards or anything like that. What about then? Are they allowed to put their privates close together?

[Craig Miller]

I'll make an exception there. If there's no contact between them and their parents.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, they've gone. No contact because their parents are a narcissist.

[Craig Miller]

That's fine.

[George Dunham]

Okay. Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

So you're approving of step incest?

[Craig Miller]

Yes. Correct.

[Gordon Keith]

I got that score down here. I got it down here.

[Craig Miller]

I'm a big champion of that.

[Gordon Keith]

Gosh. All right. Our first musers of the podcast T shirt ought to say that Craig champions step siblings.

[George Dunham]

Come up with better ideas than that.

[Gordon Keith]

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[George Dunham]

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[Gordon Keith]

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[George Dunham]

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[Gordon Keith]

So this is going to be a little bit different of a podcast. I thought I'd get really serious about getting really stupid.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

And instead of focusing on one topic, I've got a few things for you guys. I have a grab bag of fun that you are not aware of. We I did not clue you into what we were doing today. I gave you no heads up as to this is what we'll be talking about. Nothing. You guys are discovering this along with a listener.

[George Dunham]

So this is kind of like stepping in the Gordo's Corner.

[Gordon Keith]

It's exactly like Gordo's Corner, just long form. This is the extended dance mix, all right. This is the night mix of Gordo's Corner, all right. And some of this is based on recent news items that sparked a little bit of thought in me and not very much sparks thought in me. But did you guys see the pictures of Jim Carrey recently?

[Craig Miller]

No.

[Gordon Keith]

Not famous rubbery faced actor who is kind of weird. I mean you've seen him in interviews and I kind of like how weird he is in that he that one interview did on the red carpet where he says I'm not me. None of this is real. Everything you're seeing. This is all an illusion. We're all the universe that's just trying to entertain itself and is experiencing itself. I mean a bunch of crazy Zen Cohen type things that he's saying. It just didn't make sense. And the poor woman who's just trying to do the. She just wants to know what you're wearing tonight. Is this Era Wang or.

[George Dunham]

You know, I haven't seen him interviewed in a long time.

[Gordon Keith]

He is out there. I mean, he's out there. And I would go full bore and endorse this version of Jim Carrey, but then there's also like something going on. Well, there's just crazy stuff. Like he had that weird suicide of a girlfriend was kind of odd. And in her note, she kind of blamed him. It was just. I don't know. I don't know what to think about Jim Carrey.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

But he appeared at an award show in France and it set the Internet ablaze about his appearance. Now, if you've seen Jim Carrey recently, within the past five, 10 years, he has deep lines on his face and, you know, he's kind of wrinkly and, and he looks like he's under hydrated a lot of times. Well, that's not the way he appeared in France. His face looks much more full and smoothed out. So there's a picture of him that's not even the craziest picture I've seen of him. And he does different and, and so everyone started speculating whether or not because there's other photos of him where it doesn't really look all that much like Jim Carrey. So people started thinking, wow, has he hired a body double as part of his strange artistic expression? Because that's the other big thing. He's a huge painter now. That's all he does. He sits in his big painting warehouse and just paints all day.

[George Dunham]

Does that sound crazy if you do that and that's all you do?

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, it's a little crazy, but it's also soulful, right?

[George Dunham]

Could be.

[Gordon Keith]

Is that he's not just obsessed with the Hollywood machine, he's obsessed with thoughts of existence. What does life mean? What is meaning in life? What confers meaning? What is an expression of his soul that can't be done in words and he has to paint it.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, that doesn't sound crazy to me at all. It sounds kind of great.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, that sounds great to me.

[George Dunham]

But he kind of looks like Billy Bob Thornton when he played Davy Crockett in the Alamo.

[Craig Miller]

See, in this picture, I think he looks like a latter day Val Kilmer.

[Gordon Keith]

Yes, Val Kilmer. Yeah, you're right. That is the look that he has. But it's kind of waxy and it's.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, it's very waxy.

[Gordon Keith]

He looks Also, he also kind of looks like one of my friend's aunts that he had later in life. I don't know. I don't know what's going on with Jim Carrey. But it's clear that something is. Something has changed his appearance. And the most likely cause of it is probably some sort of enhancement procedure.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, that's what I first thought when

[Gordon Keith]

I saw that he's done something to his face. He's gotten fillers. He's having his face spray washed with acid or something. That's smoothing it out, getting all the wrinkles out. And it brings up the issue of male plastic surgery.

[Craig Miller]

Well, it's a great topic.

[Gordon Keith]

Oh, boy.

[George Dunham]

See what I mean?

[Gordon Keith]

George just pulled up a picture. I don't think that the guys at the Alamo had that much plastic surgery work. Jim Bowie was laying there in bed. Not because he was. Had tuberculosis, because he was recovering from lipo, maybe. How much time did they have to get plastic surgery at the Alamo?

[George Dunham]

Zero time.

[Gordon Keith]

They didn't have a staff plastic surgeon?

[George Dunham]

No. They had no time for that little

[Gordon Keith]

nip tuck on Davy Crockett. And that's who he played, by the way, in the Alamo. Davy Crockett. I've heard that's a good movie.

[George Dunham]

It is. I thought it was good.

[Gordon Keith]

And he played the fiddle in it.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. He survives the actual battle.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. Davy Crockett, from what I remember from my history. Because I did a huge project in eighth grade about that. And I built a replica of the Alamo. My dad got out there and me, we both built it together. With my dad yelling at me when I messed it up. But. But no, we built a replica of the Alamo on a band saw. And I did a presentation on the Alamo and studied all about it. And I still have it. It's a kick ass model. Yeah. I've thought about throwing it out several times because I don't really use it, believe it or not.

[George Dunham]

Really?

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. My replica of the Alamo.

[George Dunham]

Get out and play Alamo.

[Gordon Keith]

No, I don't. But it's so good, I can't throw it away. And I remembered that part of the story that Davey, I guess, survived the battle.

[George Dunham]

Some think that, yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

And he was led out the next day and killed. That's what I remember from eighth grade. Is that what the movie shows?

[George Dunham]

That's what the 2004 movie shows, yeah. With Jim Carrey as Davy Crockett.

[Gordon Keith]

It's not Jim Carrey as Davy Crockett.

[George Dunham]

Modern day Jim Carrey.

[Gordon Keith]

Time traveled Sling Blade Is Davy Crockett. He doesn't use that voice though, does he?

[George Dunham]

No, no, it's pretty normal.

[Gordon Keith]

William Travis says everybody cross this line and wants to stay on in here.

[George Dunham]

I reckon we can last 13 days.

[Gordon Keith]

I reckon we can kill the Mexicans. You can say that.

[George Dunham]

Because say that back then, that was.

[Craig Miller]

They were fighting.

[Gordon Keith]

So. Plastic surgery for guys. We used to bag on guys for doing this. Any guy who got a little work done. I know, Giorgio, I remember you were merciless on Kenny Rogers. The same.

[George Dunham]

What?

[Craig Miller]

Not the picture.

[George Dunham]

I just. Okay. This has been my hang up with plastic surgery all this time.

[Craig Miller]

For men or women?

[George Dunham]

For men or women. If you do it, it's your business. I really don't. I really don't care.

[Gordon Keith]

You don't?

[George Dunham]

I really don't.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, let's hear how much you don't care.

[George Dunham]

But if you do it and it looks obvious that you had the work done, why do it? It's just. I mean, Kenny Rogers look like a china doll, okay, with a beard.

[Craig Miller]

Because they'd rather look that way and look better in their mind even if, you know, they had work done than look the way they used to look. That's how they think about it.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

The point isn't always to have imperceptible work done.

[Craig Miller]

Right?

[Gordon Keith]

Some people want the. They want you to clearly perceive the way that they look now. And it's different than it was the way they looked two weeks ago.

[George Dunham]

Okay. I just don't. I. I guess it's just a personal thing. I don't like the look. It looks like you went through, I don't know, a car accident and had reconstructive surgery or something.

[Gordon Keith]

Once again, it does not sound like you're so neutral on this.

[Craig Miller]

You're kind of right about that, though. It does look like you've had some sort of accident and you had to be put back together.

[George Dunham]

Bad happened and put back together and then for. And we've talked about this. I'm not going to mention names because it's not nice. It's what they wanted to do. But there are some actresses that just. They were so naturally pretty.

[Gordon Keith]

Why do you want to look.

[George Dunham]

Why do you want to look like Donald Duck? I don't.

[Craig Miller]

In his parentheses, Meg Ryan.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, Meg Ryan. Apparently.

[George Dunham]

I didn't say.

[Gordon Keith]

Is supposed to live her life being pleasing to your eyes. She needs to program to George Dunham's taste.

[George Dunham]

I didn't quack. I mean, I didn't say a name. Okay.

[Craig Miller]

Now, there's no doubt sometime that it Gets out of control. And they have procedure on top of procedure on top of procedure, and they don't even look like the person that they used to be.

[Gordon Keith]

Yes.

[Craig Miller]

That's a little weird.

[George Dunham]

Yes.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, it's a little weird. But I think that we're so behind in trends and fashion that some people desire that look. The big duck lip look. The ridiculous. It's almost like they get a elephantine ass that gets put on a skinny body.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, I almost see that. It's like, okay, I got to do this now. Now I got to do this. It's almost like that it just becomes a. It's an addiction or an addiction with them.

[Gordon Keith]

It's compulsive. The same way, like, there's some people who just can't get enough tattoos. You know, they start off and they have a plan. There's five tattoos I want to get, and then 500 tattoos later. It's like you're looking at the person who's got their entire face done.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

And they don't look the same.

[George Dunham]

So you think that someday the full lip thing, or as I call it, the duck mouth, that will just be normal. Everyone will.

[Gordon Keith]

Yes.

[George Dunham]

Or most people will have that.

[Gordon Keith]

Yes. But I wonder if there's a Snapchat filter where the three of us can look like we've had all those procedures done. Let's see what that looks like.

[George Dunham]

I don't think we can do it.

[Gordon Keith]

We will maybe make it a thumbnail.

[Craig Miller]

It is much less common in men, though. Plastic surgery. I just looked it up. AI says about 7%.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, it's 7%.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

Of guys do it, but it's got to increase.

[Craig Miller]

I don't think of 7% of guys do it. It was 7% of plastic surgery is. Yes. Of male patients of all plastic surgeries since 2017 has been men, so 93% women.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay. But it's got to go up. I would think that it's got to go up if there's more disposable income and it becomes more normalized for guys

[George Dunham]

to get it, I guess. Unless the trend becomes the natural look and you don't have to do it. And I hear about girls botoxing when they're teenagers and early 20s. I don't understand that.

[Craig Miller]

I don't either.

[George Dunham]

But again, it's normal, and I'm supposed to understand it. And I'm the jerk for having a problem I don't have a problem with. They want to do it. It's their business. I just think that's somewhat sad that they Feel like, well, I gotta keep looking like I'm 18 or I'm still 20. No, you're 25. It's okay.

[Craig Miller]

I was gonna blame it on social media, but I think fashion magazines long before social media also caus but it's probably ramped way up with social media. But a 20 year old who wants to look like Kim Kardashian because she thinks that's how she'll get likes on social media, she goes down that botox road probably way earlier than she needs, but she's trying to fill out her face or whatever it is that they're trying to fill out to keep up on social media. Again, a lot of our conversations go back to this, but it really is the root of a lot of our social problems.

[Gordon Keith]

I wonder if it'll get to the point where technology is so good that our online filters are so good in our cameras and our phones that we don't have to get the surgery. You just put the filter on and you look like you've had the surgery and then you can walk around the world and nobody recognizes you. Like some people, that would be a negative. But other people who get really famous, they would love that.

[Craig Miller]

Again, I was showing you guys an acquaintance of ours, a male who has been posting on social media and it looks like he is using some kind of plastic surgery enhancement filter. So I think those do exist and I think people do use them.

[Gordon Keith]

All right, what would you get if you were going to get plastic surgery? Is there something about your appearance that you would like to change?

[Craig Miller]

I'd get giant boobs,

[George Dunham]

man. I don't know. I've really not given it any thought. I really haven't. Until this very moment. I will not. Unless I get launched through a car windshield and I need reconstructive surgery. I really don't think I'm going to have plastic surgery. I have no idea.

[Gordon Keith]

So you've never thought of reducing that nose?

[George Dunham]

No, it's fine. It's my Dunham nose and that's just the way it goes. No, it probably is pretty big, but I've never really thought about it. I mean. No.

[Gordon Keith]

Have you thought of enhancing. What about the birthmark? Have you thought of like enhancing the birthmark and getting tattoos around it to emphasize it? George has a birthmark that's on kind of his jawline neck area on his

[Craig Miller]

left side, but that's part of George. You shouldn't get rid of that.

[Gordon Keith]

No, not get rid of it. Do something to enhance it.

[Craig Miller]

Well, you don't even need to do

[Gordon Keith]

that, like, have a. Treat it as, like, a little planet and there's a little farmer who's, like, raking the surface on the top of it, man.

[George Dunham]

Okay, now I'm back on the therapy couch. You don't know the heartache that. That I wanted to magically remove it when I was a kid because people would make fun of it.

[Gordon Keith]

All right, so if you were 16 years old, I'm glad I didn't, though.

[George Dunham]

I'm glad I didn't.

[Gordon Keith]

But at 16 years old, if your parents had said, if you would like to get that removed, we will pay for that, that's fine. What would you have done as a kid?

[George Dunham]

I probably would have said, please just make the noise stop.

[Gordon Keith]

Right.

[George Dunham]

Even though it wasn't that noisy.

[Gordon Keith]

Teenagers, now they have parts of their body that disturb them, and they want to improve them, and parents are paying for it.

[George Dunham]

Okay, I'll tell you. I think I've told you this before. Do you know what one of the nicknames was? And, man, it would just crush me.

[Gordon Keith]

It wasn't Doo Doo Neck, was it?

[George Dunham]

No, that was yours.

[Craig Miller]

Oh, nice, Gordon.

[George Dunham]

And by the way, only one of my group of friends that ever brings up the birthmark is Gordon. So he's had these jokes in his mind all these.

[Gordon Keith]

All these years.

[Craig Miller]

The man who wakes up every morning wanting to make people feel bad.

[George Dunham]

Right? That guy.

[Craig Miller]

That guy.

[George Dunham]

That guy who I've warned with for 32 years, he's obviously had these weapons of mass destruction. He just hasn't used them. I think I've told y' all this before. It used to just kill me. And it. I will say this. It was not mentioned to me in Chicago, but it was when I moved back to the South. Kids used to call me Spot Neck.

[Craig Miller]

Really?

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

Spot Neck.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, it sounds like a Russian, like

[Gordon Keith]

spot satellite, but spot.

[George Dunham]

But yeah. And it used to just. Yeah, it was really hurtful. And I just go, yeah.

[Craig Miller]

I've always thought kids say the darndest things, but they also say the cruelest things. They are just merciless to each other.

[Gordon Keith]

I don't know why we talk about the innocence of a child when they're pretty mean. They're brutal apes is what children were my elementary school.

[George Dunham]

Yes, brutal. Brutal. But, I mean, I got. After a while, it just didn't bother me. But I. I remember thinking, why did that. Ha. Why did I have to have that on my neck that just. It stands. I don't want to stand out. I just want to blend in with everybody and not being announced as Spot Neck as I get on the bus. Yes, that's me. Thank you.

[Gordon Keith]

I'm sure one of our listeners will now produce a piece of art that has you orbiting the earth as spotnik.

[George Dunham]

Those of it didn't.

[Gordon Keith]

With a Russian T shirt on, a hammered sickle or something on your shirt.

[George Dunham]

Probably.

[Gordon Keith]

U.S.S.R. probably. Yeah. Well, the good news is though, I think that there is more body acceptance that younger people have now. Like there's a lot of, I think so too, influencers on TikTok and stuff that have, you know, facial birthmarks or some kind of disfigurement that they've embraced. And people watch their content all the time.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. And it got to the point where I don't even. And still don't. I haven't thought about my birthmark in a long time until you brought it up today. But man, it used to be a daily thing of gee whiz, should I put makeup over it?

[Gordon Keith]

Did you ever try makeup on it?

[George Dunham]

I never did. I just thought, well, it's kind of the same thing. Well then people are going to make fun of the fact that I'm trying to.

[Craig Miller]

He's trying to cover it just draws more attention.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. So it's just like, yeah, whatever.

[Gordon Keith]

Don't we need to relax this idea of guys not making fun of guys for changing their appearances the way that we don't with women? If women want to change their hair color, fine. If they want to get plastic surgery, fine.

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

Why do we insist that guys have to be more natural than women? Why is that?

[Craig Miller]

I think because forever women have been expected by society to wear makeup and to do their hair and to wear heels and to look beautiful or as beautiful as they can appear. Where we've never really held men to that standard at all. Men can just age and it doesn't matter. And you hear women complain about this all the time. Oh, you men just get older and everybody thinks you're better looking because you're a well worn man. But for us, as soon as we start to age, well, we got to do all this stuff which has led to 93% of plastic surgery operations being women because they feel like they've got to be eternally young to please the men and please society. So men have never been held to that standard.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. But if women are saying, you know, oh, you men have, you age and people think you look better, well, yeah, you're the one that's telling them that they look better. Who's the guy's not judging the other guy for getting old. It's like, if women find older guys attractive and don't like them. But see, I think that women do like guys to take care of their appearance.

[Craig Miller]

Sure.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, they do.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah. I don't think I would ever, ever have plastic surgery. You never say 100%. There may be a 1% chance down the road that something starts going weird with me that I want to correct.

[Gordon Keith]

Starts going weird with me.

[Craig Miller]

But like all of us, I'm not perfect, But I've come to accept any physical imperfections I have, and I've really, you know, almost embraced it. Like, the one battle that I had from my 20s was I went gray very early. I had almost a full head of gray hair by the time I was 40. And I do remember one time trying to dye it, and it looked so bad. It looked so obvious that I was so much more paranoid about what people were saying about my dye job than what they would have been saying about my gray hair that I just let it go. And it's. Having gray hair for most of my life has never bothered me. I'm just happy that I have hair. I've never cared that it's gray.

[Gordon Keith]

Better to have it and be gray than not have it at all. Isn't that an old saying?

[George Dunham]

I think so.

[Craig Miller]

I think so. And so, yeah. Any other physical imperfection that I feel like I may have had, I've always just tried to address it naturally or just accept it and learn to love yourself, learn to live with it. And so I've never felt any need to go under the knife to repair anything that I might have.

[George Dunham]

I think the attitudes towards guys having some sort of procedure or loosening up a little bit, it's more. Yeah, I don't think you take it in the shorts like you used to over stuff like that.

[Gordon Keith]

And it's good. You should feel free to modify your body however you want.

[Craig Miller]

But don't you guys still do a bit of a double take? If you walk down the street and you see a guy walk by you that is all plastic surgery out, don't you kind of think, what's going on there?

[George Dunham]

Yeah, I do. I notice it. Or the really bad. Is it pronounced to be? Or toupee? The really bad Tupi just kind of makes me wonder again, if it looks worse than just a bald head. Why do that? I guess because in his mind, it feels better to him.

[Gordon Keith]

But my take is that that guy ought to like, I don't like this. You don't have to wear the toupee. Or Craig, you dyed your hair and Then you were paranoid that someone was going to notice that you dyed your hair. What's wrong with dyeing your hair or just wearing a flat out wig like the woman who's wearing a wig? I'm not trying to fool you. It's like I had pink hair yesterday and today I have blonde hair. It's fine. We can accept different hair pieces. Why can't the guy have long hair one day and then the next day he has a, you know, a spiked up purple flat top?

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Craig Miller]

I do think there's something really unnatural looking about a man who may be in his 70s or 80s with jet black hair that's clearly dyed. There's something that it doesn't go with the wrinkles on the face.

[Gordon Keith]

Right. There's the disconnect.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, that's a little crazy. I told you guys when I lost the bed and had to wear a mohawk for an entire football season, you

[Gordon Keith]

looked good with a mohawk, George.

[George Dunham]

Well, thank you very much. But in going into it, I was thinking, oh, gosh, this is going to be humiliating. But as I told you guys, you know what? No one really cares. And after about two weeks, I didn't really care. It's kind of like, yeah, that's my hair. And that's what the deal is. I think we're so paranoid about whether it's wanting to stand out or wanting to look different or people making fun of us. You're right, Cordo. It really doesn't matter if you want to wear long hair, purple hair the next day. That's big deal.

[Gordon Keith]

All right, let's do some more news. And now it's time for what are people or should people be talking about with a look at the news with your purse, man. For the news.

[George Dunham]

Look at your levels when you recorded that.

[Gordon Keith]

Thank you. That is John Facinda recorded that way back when. But yes. Saw this story and was so grossed out by it, I said, I can't. I can't just sit on this. I need to bring it to my friends. Okay, A Tick Tock influencer. Boy, stop prejudging. People are allowed to be Tick Tock influencers named Tara Woodcocks. She has close to a million followers, which I don't even know if that's that much on Tick Tock. Seems like all the big tiktokers have. Yeah, I got 12 million people. I don't even know that I have a TikTok. You guys have TikTok?

[Craig Miller]

No, I don't.

[Gordon Keith]

Well, she had a hack. A traveling hack. When you're traveling and you're staying in a hotel room and you don't have access to a washing machine. She shared the hack that you can clean your underwear with the in room coffee maker.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

What do you mean? Okay?

[Craig Miller]

You got hot water running through there?

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

So gross.

[George Dunham]

Not bad for the next person, you're saying for the guy who wants a hot cup of Joe.

[Gordon Keith]

How gross is that for that guy?

[Craig Miller]

Terrible for the next person, but great for you.

[Gordon Keith]

So she put her underwear. Her panties.

[Craig Miller]

Why are people grossed out by that word? I don't know.

[Gordon Keith]

You know, I've known some women who say, no, it's underwear. They say that panties is for younger females. And then at some point when you're an adult, it should be called underwear.

[Craig Miller]

Huh.

[Gordon Keith]

But I like. I don't know. To me, it's not coded that way to me. So I don't know why you've always

[George Dunham]

told us that you wear panties and we've never thought anything about it.

[Gordon Keith]

Craig, are you going to respond to that?

[George Dunham]

That's for you.

[Craig Miller]

Gordon.

[Gordon Keith]

Straight at you, talking to you. I don't know. So she says that you. She shows her. Puts her panties in the coffee filter compartment.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

And then cranks it up and then it filters through that and washes.

[Craig Miller]

Wow.

[George Dunham]

Okay. Well, as long as she then takes the pot and then washes that out,

[Gordon Keith]

then why are you defending this? There's no way that you want to drink skid mark coffee from the guy before you. Why are you going with this?

[George Dunham]

Well, because I think you can eventually get rid of it.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, eventually sterilize the coffee pot. I think we're in a throwaway society. And I think you just landfill that coffee maker. I don't think you. Yes. Don't try to rehab it. Don't reno it. Don't do any of that stuff. Just get a new coffee maker.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, because there's a good chance the hotel staff did not clean it at all. You've seen those hidden videos of the maids who come in there, and they. They barely do anything in terms of disinfecting the glasses that are used. Yeah, they just put the little paper covering back on top and don't wash them.

[Gordon Keith]

You don't want to be drinking some old woman's slug trail. Well, I mean, you know what I'm saying, though.

[Craig Miller]

You know what? Now every hotel. And for work, the three of us are going to a hotel tonight.

[George Dunham]

I am.

[Craig Miller]

I am going to be thinking about that. That someone just cleaned their panties in this coffee maker for the rest of my life.

[Gordon Keith]

So nasty. It's so nasty. Yeah. I've made coffee in one of those, I think two times, and then I just didn't trust it anymore.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, I.

[Gordon Keith]

Before I even read this, I'm kind

[George Dunham]

of grossed out by everything in the hotel room, from the remote control to everything you touch. It's just.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, I think you should.

[George Dunham]

How much do they really clean these? The comforter. They say never lay down on the comforter because that's. They never really wash those.

[Gordon Keith]

I know. And those decorative pillows they have up there, those never get washed.

[Craig Miller]

Have you ever seen them take the. What is it? The infrared light into the black light. The black light into the hotel room. And there's so much DNA on those bedspreads.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. It's like some guy watched his favorite video and just Jackson Pollock. The wall.

[Craig Miller]

That's a huge bingo, but yes. All right.

[Gordon Keith]

What's the grossest thing you've ever seen in a hotel room?

[George Dunham]

We did not check into one one time because just the look of the carpet was so bad and it smelled so bad. I mean, a barn. It was just. It was awful. And we did not stay there. And we said, yeah, we can't. I'm sorry. We can't stay here. It wasn't like one particular thing, like a. Like a mess left in the floor or something like that.

[Craig Miller]

It just.

[George Dunham]

The whole room was just grotesque.

[Craig Miller]

I remember going to one hotel, and in the bathroom, in the shower, it was a shower tub, and it was just filthy. There was hair everywhere. And I remember leaving that hotel. It's like they did not clean it at all. We joke about them not cleaning it, but that crew never went in there because the bathtub was filthy.

[Gordon Keith]

The worst hotel I ever stayed in. I think I posted some of this on Twitter at one point. Was this hotel in Laurel, Mississippi, and it was like, the only. No, it was Yanny, Mississippi, now that I think about it. And it was the last hotel room I could find. All these places I called were booked up. So I finally get this one hotel room, and I'm so thankful that I got it. And I walked in to what appeared to just be a crime scene. It was just flat out a crime scene. There were blood smears on the sheets.

[George Dunham]

Oh, my gosh.

[Gordon Keith]

There was like. Yeah. And they were like. It looked like somebody had smashed insects or something like that onto the sheets. You know, some crawling, and they smashed it. And then there would be a blood smear.

[George Dunham]

And you still stayed there?

[Gordon Keith]

I could. I had no other hotel room.

[George Dunham]

How about your car?

[Gordon Keith]

What do you mean?

[George Dunham]

I'd Rather sleep in the car than

[Gordon Keith]

Dude, Giorgio in this neighborhood.

[George Dunham]

Maybe not.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, you did not want to sleep in your car. I mean, there was. There's no doubt that's an immediate loss of life if you tried to sleep in your car. So. And this thing. Oh, the door, the front door of it had been repaired. It looked like four or five times from someone kicking it in.

[Craig Miller]

Wow.

[George Dunham]

Gosh.

[Gordon Keith]

And it was just, you know, full of just screws and bolts of them trying to, you know, put on extra metal plates, you know, to where they could hook up a new lock to the thing. So I don't know whether.

[George Dunham]

So it wasn't a five star place.

[Gordon Keith]

A rival dealer had busted in that door, or whether it was the cops that had to get in there at one point. But yeah, that the door spoke of a tremendous, troubled history to that room. And then you had the blood stains on the bed. And then you had a. One huge mystery stain that looked like someone had drained an automatic transmission pan right there on the floor. I choose to think it was transmission fluid.

[George Dunham]

That made you feel better?

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, better than any other red type.

[George Dunham]

I could not have stayed there.

[Craig Miller]

No.

[George Dunham]

I would have taken my chances of the street.

[Gordon Keith]

Well, I felt I had no choice. And I moved the dresser in front of the door because I didn't trust what was going to happen.

[George Dunham]

Kicked in again.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, yeah. Somebody looking for the guy who stayed there last night was going to try to bust in on my night. And I didn't want that to happen. So moved the dresser. And back behind the dresser was at least a decade of dust and four tube socks.

[George Dunham]

Gross.

[Gordon Keith]

That were balled up. And I did not try to unfurl them to see if there was adhesive that was causing it.

[George Dunham]

So you back to the Alamo. You were playing the part of Jim Bowie as you put the dresser up against the door.

[Gordon Keith]

Put the dresser against the door. And then I laid in my bed with two knives looking at that door

[Craig Miller]

the whole night

[Gordon Keith]

just waiting to see

[George Dunham]

what was gonna happen, see if Jim Carrey would jump through the door.

[Gordon Keith]

And the toilet had all those, you know, like mineral stains in it, water stains in it that they couldn't get out. And. And it had that sickly fluorescent one bulb in the bathroom, you know, that you barely kind of see.

[George Dunham]

Really depressing.

[Gordon Keith]

Real prison lighting.

[George Dunham]

You're about to be questioned or something.

[Gordon Keith]

It was so bad. It was so bad. That was absolutely the worst hotel room I stayed in. But the in room coffee maker worked well. I use that all the time.

[George Dunham]

I look great.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, it Tasted great. I don't know what they wouldn't ingredient they had in it but it was really interesting and earthy. I don't know what it was. Okay, and then let's do another news item. Hit that sounder. And now it's time for what are people or should people be talking about? This is what people are talking about with your Perth man for the news. No music or anything decided against person went with man and then didn't make a full edit there.

[Craig Miller]

But sounds like some guy that's going to go viral and people will keep tweeting and posting. Can you believe this guy got voice work?

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay. We've talked about Jim Carrey getting facial work done. Possibly, potentially, maybe allegedly, maybe this story. The 2026 Camel Beauty show festival in Oman. Is that the way you say that country's name has been rocked by scandal after 20 camels were disqualified from the competition for illegal cosmetic surgeries.

[Craig Miller]

Wow.

[Gordon Keith]

And enhancements including lip fillers and botox injections.

[George Dunham]

So is there money in this competition if your camel wins? I'm thinking why would you cheat unless there was some sort of big reward.

[Gordon Keith]

Yes. Yes. And that's. I had no idea that camel beauty contest are a huge deal. Do they wear section of the world?

[Craig Miller]

Do they wear outfits to accentuate the camel toe?

[Gordon Keith]

The what?

[Craig Miller]

The camel toe. Why would they need to wear wear outfits to. It's a beauty contest.

[Gordon Keith]

What kind of outfit would enhance their feet?

[Craig Miller]

Well, I don't know much about these contests. That's why I'm asking you.

[Gordon Keith]

I don't know, Craig. Anyway, George, what I'm talking about here is that veterinary inspections revealed the animals had undergone extensive procedures including hyaluronic acid, lip fillers and silicone reshaping. All of which are strictly banned under competition rules. And the modifications weren't just limited to facial work making those stupid camels.

[George Dunham]

How can you make a camel look better?

[Gordon Keith]

They look dumb. No matter what.

[George Dunham]

Doesn't matter if he gets.

[Gordon Keith]

I look at this one picture of the camel that won and it looks just like Kenny Rogers in his later career.

[George Dunham]

Maybe that's what he said. Make me look like a camel.

[Gordon Keith]

That's your Kenny Rogers.

[George Dunham]

I guess.

[Gordon Keith]

Lady. He did have Bill Clinton. Boys, speaking of Bill Clinton voice, did you watch any of his testimony in the disturbing thing he looked like he

[Craig Miller]

was 110 years old.

[Gordon Keith]

Wow.

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Craig Miller]

He's not.

[Gordon Keith]

He's got this, you know, palsy hand. The shake. Neurological.

[George Dunham]

Meantime, Hillary's looking pretty good.

[Gordon Keith]

What are you doing, man?

[Craig Miller]

She's. She's Aging better than he is.

[George Dunham]

That's right.

[Gordon Keith]

The guy's struggling and you're already moving in on his wife.

[George Dunham]

No, I'm not moving in. I've just always said I think she's prettier than she's given credit for.

[Gordon Keith]

You've always had a weird fascination.

[George Dunham]

Wait. I brought back a picture from the super bowl to show you guys because.

[Gordon Keith]

Ankles.

[Craig Miller]

She was at the Super Bowl?

[George Dunham]

No, but that steak place we went to, there was a picture of her because she went to that steak place. Look at that. It's young Hillary.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, yeah, but that was Hillary when she was what, 30? Something in her 30s.

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

When she was in her 20s, that's when she was real. No makeup, looking pretty harsh. Yeah, but she got the glow up, I think in her 30s.

[George Dunham]

I'm just saying, don't sleep on Hillary.

[Gordon Keith]

I won't.

[Craig Miller]

You had a thing for Hillary Duff and Hillary Clinton.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, unfortunately.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. I waited for Hillary Duff to get

[Craig Miller]

into her 20s before I said anything.

[George Dunham]

I didn't

[Gordon Keith]

stop talking.

[Craig Miller]

You were stunned when we informed you Hillary Duff was 14 years old.

[George Dunham]

I did not.

[Gordon Keith]

All of this, all this needs to be redacted. Anyway, speaking of redactions and Bill Clinton. So he was testifying in that case and he. And his deposition gets out and. Yeah. His voice was so much weaker than I'd remembered it. And I noticed something else about Bill Clinton in addition to the hand trimmers that he's developed.

[George Dunham]

Did y' all hear about the disqualified camel?

[Gordon Keith]

No, he didn't mention that. That never came up in the deposition. But his hands are too long.

[George Dunham]

What do you mean?

[Gordon Keith]

He looked like he was wearing hand extensions. He would put his hand up by his face, you know, when he's listening to some prosecutor or attorney droning on, ask him a question. And his fingers, his hand is too long. And then his fingers are too long. On top of that, he's got stretch hand and I don't know, I've always known his hands were weird, but. Yeah, it's just strange that even in his old age that he has these weird alien, like his hands are a little bit too young looking for his 80 year old body.

[George Dunham]

You're going to put him on the alien list.

[Craig Miller]

So speaking of that, when I saw him, I thought he looks like this space alien from the original Star Trek series. Tell me he doesn't look like that now.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay.

[Craig Miller]

Doesn't he?

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, he doesn't look. He doesn't have a green face? No, he's green.

[George Dunham]

Screaming the shape of the face.

[Craig Miller]

But he looks he looks just like that guy now.

[Gordon Keith]

It's rude no matter what.

[George Dunham]

And we mean no offense.

[Gordon Keith]

No offense to any of that. No offense.

[Craig Miller]

Anyway, by the way, he's almost 80. He'll be 80 in August.

[Gordon Keith]

And it was depressing. One time he answered a question, he said, I'll be 80 if I make it to my next birthday. It's like, way to bring the room down.

[George Dunham]

But I've got long hand and usually

[Gordon Keith]

I don't live, but I can almost reach my next birthday just by sticking my hand out, touching the future.

[George Dunham]

That's a weird charge that his hands are too long.

[Gordon Keith]

Look at it, Giorgio. Just check it out.

[George Dunham]

All right?

[Gordon Keith]

If you haven't, just look up Bill Clinton weird hand, but yeah. Back to Hillary's camel toe. So they say that silicone injections have even been done to these camels in beauty contests to make their humps bigger. Wow. And better shaped.

[George Dunham]

They're lovely camel humps.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, they're lovely camel humps. People always come from all over, get in their yard, look at their lovely camel humps.

[Craig Miller]

Okay, you got that? Watch that. Yeah, you got that.

[Gordon Keith]

And then alien that Bill Clinton's supposed to look like. Even though we've moved on back to

[George Dunham]

Campbells, he's on to something there.

[Gordon Keith]

Look like him.

[Craig Miller]

Very similar.

[George Dunham]

Yeah, it really is. He may be an angel.

[Gordon Keith]

We may have to post a side by side on the Muser's pod Twitter account.

[Craig Miller]

Okay, I will.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. Also, hormone treatments for the camels to make them more muscular and give them the winning look that judges prefer over ordinary camels. What are these camels winning? There you go.

[George Dunham]

Like a hundred thousand dollars.

[Gordon Keith]

It says it's a massive celebration where camels compete for prestigious titles based on strict beauty standards. Did you know there were strict beauty standards for camel?

[Craig Miller]

No.

[Gordon Keith]

And the specific criteria include lip shape, head size, neck length, eyelash quality.

[Craig Miller]

They do have beautiful eyelashes.

[Gordon Keith]

And just warning you ahead of time, there is a band name warning that is now being issued across America. The other thing they look for is overall desert elegance.

[Craig Miller]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, Desert elegance.

[George Dunham]

I'm gonna go see Ode.

[Gordon Keith]

This week, the overall desert elegance prize money reaches tens of millions of dollars.

[Craig Miller]

What?

[George Dunham]

Okay.

[Gordon Keith]

That's why to have the prettiest camel. And look at this. Look at that. That camel. Her eyelashes are serving.

[George Dunham]

Ridiculous.

[Gordon Keith]

I know it. She does look kind of pretty.

[George Dunham]

There's a beautiful camo. When Bugs Bunny would try to be female.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah. Square up a new podcast from Andre Berto.

[George Dunham]

Yo, what's going on, man?

[Gordon Keith]

It's Andre Berto two time World champ behind the scenes of life as a professional boxer.

[George Dunham]

People want to see more.

[Gordon Keith]

They want to see who you are as a fighter. Like I said, the time is now. I really wanted to do that.

[George Dunham]

Sit down from a fighter's perspective.

[Gordon Keith]

Find out what it really means to be a fighter inside and outside the ring.

[George Dunham]

This fight game is such a roller coaster.

[Gordon Keith]

Square up, follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[George Dunham]

Let's go.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, Ready for philosophical conundrum?

[George Dunham]

All right, hit us.

[Gordon Keith]

And now it's time for Gordon's philosophical conundrum. And here is the man that has the conundrum for you. It is to all the Gordon people. Okay, here we go. This is the time for the conundrum. Philosophical conundrum. Okay, so here it is. A guy who killed someone in a war. So this could have been our fathers are grandfathers who served in a war. So he kills someone in a war, and it haunts him, right? And I'm talking. This is one of those kid pops out from the bushes in the village in which he's fighting, and he mows the kid down at a reflex. Or there was a guy that he thought was approaching him with a gun, and so he kills the guy. And it turns out it's just a farmer who was bringing him a baguette or something like that. Okay. One of those real haunting ones that the guy comes back from and wakes up in the middle of night screaming and never tells anybody about. Okay, okay. So he does that in war, and he knows it. He knows it was wrong and they killed an innocent person. He comes back from the war, he gets married, has a family, good guy, doesn't cheat on his wife, never forgets a child's birthday or shirks a task or ever forgets to bring home flowers on February 14th. You know, one of those guys is that guy going to heaven, killed an innocent person. And let's say it was even a little bit more murky where he sees that it's a kid but doesn't know if the kid has a grenade.

[Craig Miller]

Well, if it's a religious question, then did he ask for forgiveness? Was that granted? And if so, and he lived the rest of his life, well, then I would say yes.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, George.

[George Dunham]

John Prine says that Jesus don't like killing no matter what the killings for. And your flag decal won't get you into heaven anymore. So I guess for John Prine, he would say no.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay.

[George Dunham]

I'm like Craig. I would say, yeah. I mean, it's war. And that is a philosophical conundrum for sure.

[Gordon Keith]

But if I just told you a

[George Dunham]

guy, your spirit being, forgive you for being righteous and trying to defeat evil.

[Gordon Keith]

If I just said that a guy gunned down an innocent kid and never was punished for it, but then he went on to buy flowers on Valentine's Day and stuff, would you say that that guy belongs in heaven? Let's say he asked for forgiveness. So right afterwards he said, oh, dang it, sorry, God forgive me.

[Craig Miller]

I also need more details here. Did the kid jump out at him and he thought it was an enemy soldier and he wheeled around and shot him, or did he have time to process? Oh, this is just a kid. I'm going to kill him for fun.

[Gordon Keith]

No, he. The thing is, the guy got drunk the night before. The soldier got drunk the night before and was really sleep deprived. So he was participating in some sinful act before. And he knew he was supposed to stay up, stay alert, because he had this battle the next day. So he was a little bit negligent in what he did.

[Craig Miller]

I think you're adding all of this to make it a more difficult hypothetical

[Gordon Keith]

because his reflexes were dulled by that demon rum, that alcohol.

[George Dunham]

How do you factor in it was an accident?

[Gordon Keith]

Okay?

[Craig Miller]

Yeah. I don't think accidents keep you out of heaven. I think if he sat there and looked at that kid and said, this is not the enemy. This is an innocent kid, and then still kills him. Now we have a different story.

[Gordon Keith]

What if he shot a guy who was yelling at him in a village saying, you can't come in here. This is our country. This is our home. You need to get out of here. And he's like, nah, man, we're about to roll through your town, and this guy's just yelling at him and calling him names and makes him so angry that he shoots the guy out of anger.

[Craig Miller]

That might keep you out of heaven.

[Gordon Keith]

But he always felt bad about it, asked for forgiveness, and then bought flowers on February 14th that still might keep

[Craig Miller]

you out of heaven?

[George Dunham]

Once again, we're answering all this. He doesn't have to give us any sort of respect.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah. What do you think? I'm sure all of our listeners would

[George Dunham]

love to hear what segment?

[Gordon Keith]

It's the deal where I'm just the host of this thing. You drive the bus. So I don't know, let's just start

[Craig Miller]

giving him very murky answers.

[George Dunham]

Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

All right, how about this one? Would you rather have the power to change one event in the past or get a glimpse of the future but be unable to change it? It's just A choice, no right or wrong answer.

[Craig Miller]

And it could be big historical world event or something in your life you regret.

[Gordon Keith]

It could be yes.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah, I'd take that.

[Gordon Keith]

Change the past.

[Craig Miller]

Yeah. I don't want to see the future.

[Gordon Keith]

But yet not knowing what hell you might be rotting. So it could change.

[Craig Miller]

It could change everything forward.

[George Dunham]

That's what 112263 says.

[Gordon Keith]

That is what it's about.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. So.

[Gordon Keith]

And it didn't work out for him. He was going to do a good solid to Kennedy and say. And let Kennedy avoid a head wound.

[Craig Miller]

That doesn't bother me because it would be a little thing in my past, like in my personal life that I wish I hadn't done. And it would not change world history.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay. But let's say that you go back and you change your history. Yeah. You change your history.

[Craig Miller]

It wouldn't.

[Gordon Keith]

Let's say you. You go back and you. You undo a wrong that you did to some girl you dated. Right? Right.

[Craig Miller]

Why does it have to be that? You make it sound like a. Like I beat them or something.

[Gordon Keith]

No, no, no. It's like, you know, you made out messily made out with some other girl and cheated on your girlfriend. And you want to write that you always felt really?

[Craig Miller]

I never did that. I never did.

[Gordon Keith]

I know it's not you. I'm just talking about you as.

[Craig Miller]

You have to come up with something realistic.

[Gordon Keith]

The royal you just anybody. Just a guy. Giorgio. We'll make Giorgio the guy. Giorgio cheated on this girl a long time ago.

[Craig Miller]

I don't think he would ever do

[Gordon Keith]

that with a camel that won a beauty contest. But yeah. If you write that wrong though, to the girl that you did this thing to that you always felt guilty about, then you may stay together with her. And then you wouldn't have like your daughter today. So you can undo something like that.

[Craig Miller]

Not in this scenario. What I would go back and right. Does not impact anything moving forward other than giving me a little more peace of mind.

[George Dunham]

How do you wishing I had just little detail effect.

[Gordon Keith]

Butterfly effect.

[Craig Miller]

Because I'm positive.

[Gordon Keith]

Oh boy.

[George Dunham]

He's got you there.

[Gordon Keith]

I don't know how to counteract that. I would take future Checkmate. Geez. You take what?

[George Dunham]

I would take the future.

[Craig Miller]

But then if it's horrific, then you are living the rest of your life knowing that you're about to encounter that horror.

[George Dunham]

Yeah. Wondering how I get shredded in the wood chipper. Yeah, I know. What are the events that led to that? Yeah.

[Gordon Keith]

That would be the worst. I think that I'm tempted to Take the one in the past that I could change. But I really would be extremely fearful of the butterfly effect and it changing something so dramatically, just little. I mean, even think about even like something that you. Because God knows how many times I've made some offhanded comment called. Let's say there's some yo, yo that I called doo doo neck one time, right? And I did that. And I take that back. But what if that was the thing that changed his personality? That injury that he had there sponsored him to do something and he started going into anti bullying campaigns or he formed a personality that was. Butterfly effect is too frightening. And then, you know, I undo a bunch of good that came from this bad thing. I'm relieved of the guilt, but then the world's relieved of something good that this person did as a result of it.

[Craig Miller]

My guess is most butterfly effects are very tiny and do not really change the course of anything. You can obviously dream up all sorts of scenarios where, yeah, you do something big to a world leader, this or that, or somebody who becomes the person who cures cancer, whatever it is, But I think those are very few and far between. I bet the stuff that we're thinking of, and I don't know, Gordo, I think you have a much longer list of life regrets, but I think the stuff I'm thinking of would not have changed really anything.

[Gordon Keith]

Can you give us one example?

[Craig Miller]

No.

[Gordon Keith]

Dang it. Are you sure?

[Craig Miller]

Yes.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay.

[Craig Miller]

Well, for example, it's something one time I said about somebody on our show.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay.

[Craig Miller]

And it was not flattering and I've regretted it ever since. But it was such a tiny blip on the radar, I. I don't even know if that person ever heard it. So it's not going to change that person's life or my life, other than I would be happy to go back and erase it and then not live with the guilt of having said that.

[Gordon Keith]

Right.

[Craig Miller]

But it's not changing world history.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, final one. Would you rather be able to teleport anywhere you want? You have this ability to teleport, but you lose a year of your life each time you do it. Or be able to fly, have the power of flight for your whole life, but it's only at the speed of walking.

[George Dunham]

Oh, I would still take flight. That's amazing. You're usually going really relatively slow.

[Craig Miller]

That would be so cool, the teleporting one. You can do it whenever you want, or it's just a one time.

[Gordon Keith]

No, whenever you want. You have that ability. And I think it needs to be revert, it needs to be reduced from a year. To me, I think a year is too punitive there. Or is it about right in your mind to achieve hypothetical equilibrium, which is the goal of all of these? To make it so uncomfortable on each side. You can't.

[Craig Miller]

And when you're flying, you're only flying at the speed of walking.

[Gordon Keith]

At the speed of walking. What a beating. So crossing the Atlantic is going to be a real beating?

[George Dunham]

Well, you don't have to fly across the Atlantic, but still just going down the street. It's pretty cool that you're flying. Even you're going five miles an hour.

[Gordon Keith]

You look down and other people have a faster speed of walking.

[Craig Miller]

I think the speed negates that one for me. I'll take the teleporting.

[Gordon Keith]

Even if it was a year of your life. I'm going to be the only teleporter

[George Dunham]

in the history of Earth to fly on his own. And you could rag me all you want for being not very.

[Gordon Keith]

People would make fun of you so bad, Giorgio, you think that the birthmark got. You made fun of the guy who flies, don't care, wearing the spandex, but he only flies at two miles an hour. And everybody just watches you slowly flying as you go on all the talk shows and you're demonstrating it and everyone's kind of laughing about how lame it is.

[George Dunham]

I don't care. Before the NBA outlaws me, I'm gonna dominate play, huh?

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, because you would be up above all the guys.

[Craig Miller]

Just out of reach, everybody, same time as 12 minutes. I'll still take the teleporting, but we have to adjust it from a year down to a month. And every time I use it, that's a month off my life. A year's too penal.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, if it was a month off your life, how many times a year do you think that you would realistically be using it?

[Craig Miller]

I would save it for special times, emergency situations. I'd probably use it once a year, maybe, maybe not.

[Gordon Keith]

Okay, so in the course of using it, you would probably lose maybe a couple years off your life, maybe two years off your life.

[Craig Miller]

But, man, that would be incredible. I want to be in Milan right now to see the downhill ski racing. Boom, I'm there.

[George Dunham]

That's a year, though.

[Gordon Keith]

But how would.

[Craig Miller]

That's a month.

[Gordon Keith]

How would you handle it? How would you handle it, though, when people are wondering where you came from? Yeah, like. Like, Dude, I just FaceTimed with you and you were in your house and now all of a sudden you're here in Milan with me.

[Craig Miller]

I just say it's magic. See.

[Gordon Keith]

And I think you would tell anyone

[George Dunham]

about would love it so much though.

[Craig Miller]

You would do it all the time.

[George Dunham]

Yes. And all of a sudden you're through about five years. You're like, oh man, I've done this way too much.

[Gordon Keith]

Yeah, I think I would. I'd make the deal to take a year off my life just each time I use TSA pre check just to get into the front of that line. That's pretty cool.

[Craig Miller]

That would be cheap.

[George Dunham]

I think. In the course of this podcast, I've taken a year off my life.

[Gordon Keith]

I know it has. Me too. I'm exhausted now, so let's wrap this one up. Thanks to Peter Welpton, our executive producer over here. Twisting and tweaking, as it were. Appreciate that. And thanks to all the P1s who listen. We call you Pod Ones. Pod Ones. That's very Jedi like that term. I don't know if we can even say that we're gonna get sued by Skywalker Ranch or LLT or whatever, llc, whatever that is. Okay. And if you'd like to listen to any of our back catalog, it is online and available to you. We've heard from so many people who go back and listen to old episodes and love that. Love it when you go back and get caught up or re listen. It's fun to re listen themusers podmail if you'd like to reach us and maybe your letter will be read as letter of the week. Thanks. See ya.

[Craig Miller]

Bye.

[Gordon Keith]

You know the drill. Follow, subscribe on whatever podcast platform you're listening to right now so you don't miss an episode when they drop each and every Wednesday. Thank you so much for listening. The Musers. The podcast is a tired head production foreign. With Drake SE Toll, the same guy who had the correct top three teams in the preseason. Oh, it's me. Is going to give you the correct prediction for the big championship game for free. Finn Black and Abdallah. What an incredible shot. We've got college hoops, spring training and everything happening in the NFL and Westwood One Sports Night. Not even close to being tired right now on Westwood One Sports Night. Westwood One Sports Talk. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.