Untitled Episode

Summary

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The Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer – July 23, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dylan Dreyer hosts Amanda Hirsch—podcaster and mom of two—for a candid conversation about the fears and realities of motherhood, the loss (or not!) of identity, and how parenting fits alongside ambition and personal passions. Together, they share experiences as working moms navigating family planning, societal pressures, and the day-to-day wildness of raising boys. The discussion is honest, relatable, and filled with warmth and humor—an episode sure to resonate with any parent who’s ever wondered, “Will I still be me after becoming a mom?”

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Fear of Losing Identity in Motherhood

• Dylan opens by sharing a vulnerable vlog from before her first child, Calvin, reflecting real fears:

  “What if I don't like the way my life changes? What if I hold that against the kid because I'm mad at the baby for changing my life?”
  [01:06]

• Main theme: It's possible to be a dedicated parent without losing your sense of self.
• Dylan describes merging motherhood with her existing identity:

  “You don't have to change who you are to become a mom. You can still follow all of your hopes and dreams, but just add this momhood to your life resume.”
  [01:53]

2. The Early Days: Sleep, Cuddles, and Chaos

• Amanda recalls struggles with sleep training, the difficulties of those early years, and her more relaxed approach with her second child:

  “Last night we had a terrible night with Lenny, who's my almost two-year-old… The only half full part of not sleeping all night was I'm coming on a parent podcast so I can complain.”
  [03:35]

• Both moms delight in co-sleeping and find comfort in the routines, despite the occasional face-kicks:

  “He comes to our bed and I love it. Yeah, I get cuddled.” – Amanda
  [04:03]
  “Why would you not want to sleep with somebody?... but there are some times I absolutely hate it.” – Dylan
  [04:18]

3. Family Size, Planning, and the “Third Kid” Dynamic

• Discussion of the decision to have more kids, the variables involved, and the realities of the third child:

  “If you just have the third, the rest sort of falls into place… you kind of have to figure it out.” – Dylan
  [08:00]

• Amanda expresses admiration for parents who are decisive:

  “I love that everyone has their path and, you know, what they want for their lives. And for me, I'm so fricking indecisive that I'm like, why can't I have that voice in my head that's like, I'm done.”
  [07:30]

• Laughs about hand-me-downs, including underwear, and the independence often seen in youngest siblings.

4. Working Motherhood: Ambition and Authenticity

• Amanda speaks to the myth that babies halt careers:

  “I had these dreams, I have these goals. The baby would stop everything… It would ruin everything... And I was wrong.”
  [12:12]

• Her career actually took off postpartum, fueled by new momentum:

  “It was actually the time that my business took off is when I had my son.”
  [12:53]

• Amanda’s motto:

  “You could be a mom and still be a dumb.”
  Emphasizing mothers can add to their identities, not replace them.

5. Double Lives: Balancing Parenting and Passions

• Dylan and Amanda both express how they compartmentalize:

  “I love my job. I love coming to work. And then I go home and I love being a mom… it's like I'm living two different lives, but they're cohesive.” – Dylan
  [15:31]

• Amanda:

  “I really didn't change in my professional life, but I have that completely separate home life…”
  [16:48]

• Humorous moments about watching risqué TV content in stealth mode while their kids are nearby.

  “I'm in bed with Noah and he's watching something on his iPad and I'm watching blowjobs on my iPad…” – Amanda
  [18:01]

6. Letting Go of Anxiety

• Both women share their surprisingly chill approaches to typical parenting anxieties:

  “I didn't have the choking anxiety, the sleeping anxiety… I was more just worried about how it changed my life.” – Amanda
  [18:48]/[19:08]

7. Travel, Public Parenting, and Societal Judgment

• Amanda shares the stress of traveling with young kids and being “that” family:

  “He just hated every minute. He was screaming on the plane. He was one of the screaming babies…”
  [20:45]

• Both agree: Strangers’ opinions shouldn't drive parental anxiety, though it’s hard.
• Contemplates the double standards and commentary parents, especially moms, get online.

8. Boys Will Be Boys: Roughhousing and Bumps

• Shared stories about physical chaos, stitches, and boys’ endless energy:

  “It took till my third before we had stitches.” – Dylan
  [22:41]
  “Every man has freaking half a tooth. And it's insane because you all are falling on your faces as kids.” – Amanda
  [23:00]

9. Impact and Influence

• Amanda reflects on followers who tell her she inspired them to not be afraid of motherhood:

  “When you hear people tell you you make me not scared to be a mom... It really means a lot to me…”
  [23:37]-[24:41]

• The core message: It is possible to keep your identity, your humor, and pursue your passions, even after becoming a parent.

10. Everyday Realities and Relatable Confessions

• Parenting quirks—like hiding in the bathroom to escape for a few minutes—are universal:

  “Do you consider, like, peeing, finishing peeing, but staying there on your phone for 25 more minutes hiding?” – Amanda
  [30:25]

• Amanda’s “controversial" take: She talks to her son as an adult, sharing family gossip and style commentary:

  “He gets the whole real me with, like, the sass and, you know, the thing.”
  [32:15]

11. Raising Confident Kids

• The greatest “win” as a mom: seeing your child’s confidence blossom.

  “When I see him have confidence, I feel like I'm killing it… Because to me, confidence is such a sign of, like, good things are happening.” – Amanda
  [32:33]

• Emphasizes the power of positive reinforcement and modeling self-acceptance for children.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You don't have to change who you are to become a mom. You can still, still be you. You can still follow all of your hopes and dreams, but just add this momhood to your life resume." – Dylan [01:53]
• "I had these dreams, I have these goals. The baby… would ruin everything. It would stop everything. I wouldn't be able to do this. And I was wrong." – Amanda [12:12]
• “You could be a mom and still be a dumb.” – Amanda [Approx. 14:00]
• "If you just have the third, the rest sort of falls into place. Like, you kind of have to figure it out." – Dylan [08:00]
• “I'm so fricking indecisive that I'm like, why can't I have that voice in my head that's like, I'm done.” – Amanda [07:30]
• “I love coming to work. I'm not thinking about my kids, and then I go home and I love being a mom… it's like I'm living two different lives, but they're all cohesive.” – Dylan [15:31]
• "First of all, Noah’s probably gonna be a nepo baby, you know, and he's not gonna have to deal with this... He’s like, are you gonna post that on Instagram?" – Amanda [26:02]
• “Do you ever hide in the bathroom from your kids? Guilty.” [30:14 - 30:23]
• "When I see him have confidence, I feel like I'm killing it." – Amanda [32:33]
• “It's okay to feel scared. Yes, your life is about to change, but your identity is not going to change. You're still you. You're just adding mom to the list and you're going to crush it.” – Dylan [End, 33:53]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:06] – Dylan’s pre-mom fears; episode theme: identity in motherhood
• [03:35] – Amanda on sleepless nights and candid parenting confessions
• [05:10] – Parenting differences by child number, hand-me-down culture
• [08:00] – The third child dilemma and planning debates
• [12:12] – Amanda on career fears and reality post-baby
• [13:07] – Positive surprises of motherhood and energy boost to career
• [15:31] – Double life: balancing professional and family identities
• [18:00] – Multitasking mom moments: stealth TV viewing
• [20:45] – Family travel struggles and public parenting judgment
• [22:41] – Raising boys: chaos, injuries, and “half a tooth” stories
• [23:37] – Amanda’s impact on followers’ motherhood fears
• [30:14] – Parenting Confessions: escaping to the bathroom
• [32:33] – The pride of raising a confident child
• [33:53] – Dylan’s uplifting closing message

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Summary Takeaway

Dylan and Amanda’s conversation reassures listeners—especially those apprehensive about parenthood—that you don’t have to surrender your identity, dreams, or quirks when you become a parent. Life does change, sometimes messily, but who you are doesn’t get erased: you add “parent” to your multifaceted self. The episode champions authenticity, embracing the fear, and celebrating every little win (and every hiding-in-the-bathroom moment) along the way.

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Transcript

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[Amanda Hirsch]

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[Amanda Hirsch]

The time that my business took off is when I had my son.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So do you think that's just coincidental?

[Amanda Hirsch]

I'm not preaching it as like, have a baby.

[McDonald's Announcer]

You will succeed.

[Amanda Hirsch]

You will succeed. But I know it didn't stop me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Hey, everyone. Welcome back. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to play you a clip from the Today show. It is 10 years old. It was me talking to camera before I ever had Calvin. What if I don't like the way my life changes? What if I. I hold that against the kid because I'm, I'm just, I'm. I'm thinking that I'm mad at the baby for changing my life. And then I just sit back and it's like, okay. And I get into that excited phase again where I just, I can't wait to meet this little guy who is going to change her life. So this is a vlog I recorded back then. I was pregnant with Calvin, scared to death to become a first time mom. The camera is so close to my face because I was in Calvin's nursery, which was this small little room, not even big enough to be an actual bedroom. So the camera's like up in my face because there's nowhere else to go. There's tears in my eyes. I'm jetty genuinely scared to death. I don't know if I can handle being a mom. And this was the first time I really talked about it. There's this fear that goes into having a child for the first time. And I'm not talking about the fear of, will I know how to care for the baby, Will I know how to change diapers? Will I breastfeed or not breastfeed? I don't know. This is the fear of losing your identity to become a new person. And that's what today's conversation is going to be about, that you don't have to change who you are to become a mom. You can still, still be you. You can still follow all of your hopes and dreams, but just add this momhood to your life resume. And we have the perfect guest today. Her name is Amanda Hirsch. You'll know her as the host of the podcast Not Skinny but not Fat.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I have a son already. He's five now, and he sleeps through the night. And I don't remember the daily struggles and how much I cried and tossed and turned and sleep trained just for him to turn three, I think it was. And he slept.

[Dylan Dreyer]

She has two boys. She has Noah who's five, and Lenny who's one. And she's been really open about those fears leading into motherhood and how it will impact her career. And guess what? It didn't impact her career at all. We had such a great conversation and here it is with Amanda Hirsch. Thank you so much for chatting with us. I mean, this is.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Thanks for having me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

This is so exciting. I watch your podcast and have you here.

[Amanda Hirsch]

It's just, I know we started, I was like, why are my notes over there?

[Dylan Dreyer]

You know, so your mom, two boys.

[Carter's Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Last night we had a terrible night with Lenny, who's my almost two year old. And I was like the only, you know, last half full part of not sleeping all night was I'm coming on a parent podcast so I can complain about what a horrible night I had.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, I tend to notice because I have a lot of horrible nights because I have the three boys and like at some point the two youngest will always come into my bed, you know, and I can't turn them down.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I agree with you about them coming to the bed because my older son Noah comes to my bed and you know, my husband's parents are like, how is Noah sleeping? Is he still waking up? And I'm like, yeah, he comes to our bed and I love it. Yeah, I get cuddled.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Why would you not want to sleep with somebody?

[Amanda Hirsch]

Like, it's so cute. And I really, I'm, I'm the type of parent and I have been since I was pregnant. I'm not an over researcher. I don't like categorizing myself as like, you know, nap trapped, a co sleeper. I'm like, Noah comes to my bed, I know that it's not gonna be forever. And yeah, if he kicks me in the face, I am like, you know,

[Dylan Dreyer]

there are some times I absolutely hate it and I get so bad Because I get whacked in the face. And I, like, have this super strength where I could just launch them to the other side of the room.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Launch. And they're like noodles. Like, nothing happens at all. So now I'm taking the second one. Much chiller. Not worrying about the sleep, you know, like. But I'm sure by your third. So is the third really, like, raises himself?

[Dylan Dreyer]

There's a lot more of that. Okay. He's also just more of a punk, right? Because he knows the threats are meaningless. Like, at dinner, he's not eating dinner. And it's like, well, you're gonna go to your room if you don't eat that carrot. He's like, drops the carrot, you know, I'm like, you're such a punk. But, like, there's really nothing I can do. And then I just kind of. Because I got the other two. It's like, I really don't care that much.

[Amanda Hirsch]

They do have that more, like, independent play time, which is really nice. But I have to ask. So when you were gonna have your third. Sorry, I'm switching the script. Were you, like, going for the girl vibes?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Well, I was trying for a third, and then things weren't happening. So I bought a beach house instead. Instead, right. And I'm like, all right, this is just, you know, this is gonna be my life. I'm gonna have the two boys. I'm gonna get this beach house. And, like, so we have a place to escape the city. And then, right. Like, when we closed on that, I found out I was pregnant with my third. And the kind of right away I found, I was like, maybe it could be a girl. Like, I have two older brothers, so that's like, I love that dynamic. I would love that for her. And then when I found out it was a boy, I was actually relieved that because we were still living in the city, so there wasn't that whole, like, girl, boy room thing. You know, they could all just still be together. I didn't need more stuff. I had all the hand me downs. Any stuff I just bought Rusty yesterday. It just came on Amazon for the first time. New underwear. I'm like, this poor kid has not had his own underwear. And he was so excited.

[Amanda Hirsch]

No, I can't believe that. Even the underwear was a hand me down.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Everything was a hand me down.

[Amanda Hirsch]

But see, that's why the third kids, it's like, they really deal with it, you know, they don't get spoiled. They get, you know, underwear with hopefully no streaks or.

[Pantene Advertiser]

No.

[Amanda Hirsch]

That's amazing, though.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, I love that. Would you ever want three?

[Amanda Hirsch]

I am in the debate now. We had the suburb conversation, my husband and I, yesterday, because I've been thinking about the third. Of course, my life is finally back on track. You know what I mean? I finally feel better and not postpartumi. And of course, then it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You do want another one.

[Amanda Hirsch]

It comes.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It does.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I wish I could quiet that. Damn.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I will tell you. After I had the third, I don't know if you're gonna wanna hear this. After I had the third, I was so done. I got rid of.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I know that.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know I got rid of things. But after my second, I held on to everything. I held onto the crib, I held onto the stroller. I held onto everything.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Kills me every day. I'll tell you why. Cause I love different kinds of, like, decision making about family planning. So I love when someone's one and done. I love someone's like two. And I knew it. Yeah. And I was like, go and vasectomy. I'm like, I love that. I love that everyone has their path and, you know, what they want for their lives. And for me, I'm so fricking indecisive that I'm like, why can't I have that voice in my head that's like, I'm done.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Like, have this, like, planned out. I'm like, I don't know where I'm gonna live. I don't know if I'm gonna have another. Like, I don't know anything.

[Carter's Advertiser]

Right?

[Dylan Dreyer]

But I do think the opposite is true. Like, if you just have the third, the rest sort of falls into place. Like, you kind of have to figure it out. Like, after I had the third, I was like, no. Like, we are New Yorkers. We can live here. I could do this. We don't need a bigger apartment. Laugh in my mom's face. And then all of a sudden I'm like, oh, yeah, I can't stand this. I'm sick of being so close to all of you. That's why I was done. So if you were to have a third and move to the suburbs, it all works out. Because I love it.

[Amanda Hirsch]

And you know what? I also. I've always had this state of mind about my. My life that it's like nothing is permanent. You can try it. You know, I could hate it. Could love. Like, I would try it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So you're gonna have the third. Like, we've decided that you don't have to decide living yet.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes, we've decided this is Our game plan.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Good to know.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes. I know it's myself in your plans

[Amanda Hirsch]

for people, because I know so many people have this debate, but it comes up everywhere.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And there's something kind of badass, I think, about being a mom of three. You know, Like, I'm proud to tell people I'm a mom of three boys.

[Amanda Hirsch]

First of all, look at you. You had three kids.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Well, thank you.

[Amanda Hirsch]

You get that, right? They're like, you.

[Dylan Dreyer]

There's.

[Pantene Advertiser]

There's that.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes. Tell me more. Yes.

[Amanda Hirsch]

And that you're probably, like, sweating.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

And working hard.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

And killing it, you know, while you're being a mom.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. You just kind of figure it out. But I remember being. This is kind of like what the topic for today was kind of about was the fear of becoming a mom in the first place. Like, I don't really like other people's kids, so I was like, how can I be a mom? Like, I don't really. I don't know how to change diapers. I don't know how to do this. I love my job. I like traveling. I like my money for myself, you know? And there was, like, a big part of me that didn't ever want to become a mom.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Wow.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Did you ever have that fear?

[Amanda Hirsch]

I never had the. I'm going to be a mom. You know, like, girls go on the Bachelor 22, and they're like, my dream is to be a mom of five. And I'm like, have one and talk to me, you know? You want four, I want four. You're like, okay, you're 23. You don't know anything yet. Like, for anyone. Have one and then decide how many you want.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes.

[Amanda Hirsch]

You know, so I didn't have the. Like, I don't like. Like, I liked kids. I babysat. I. Whatever. But I never had the, like, I'm going to be a mom. I can't wait to be pregnant. Like, it was more like, I see myself as someone who will have a family, but, like, damn, when am I going to do it? How am I going to do it? I'm scared of the whole thing, of the process of the pregnant, of the birth, of the everything. So it really, for me was the pressure. More came from my husband because he's a very, like, by the book, like, okay, we're married. It's been five years. Everyone else is doing it, you know, And I'm like, we have to think for ourselves, you know? And then for me, was kind of pragmatic at that point. It was like, I was 32. I think. And it was, like, not an age thing, but it was a. I made kind of a checklist of, like, where I'm at in all these categories that I wanted to have checked off before having a baby.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Okay.

[Amanda Hirsch]

So it was, like, mentally okay, because I had really bad periods of anxiety in my life. Not going to have a baby then.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Mentally okay. You know, financially, could you do it? Yeah, financially, I could do it right now. Yeah. Marriage is good. Marriage is good. You know, that kind of thing.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You are a planner.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I am. I mean, I wasn't really writing in a notebook, but for me, if it was like, we were broke, I wouldn't have had a baby at that point in my life if, like, my relationship wasn't good. So for me, it was like, okay, everything is checking out. There's one box that I'm unsure of, which was the career box, because at

[Dylan Dreyer]

this point in your career was.

[Amanda Hirsch]

So I started my Instagram account in 2016, but I was slow burning it. Like, this wasn't a overnight thing. And 2019, I started my podcast, and that's. I had Noah by 2020, so I wasn't at all making a living from it, let's put it that way, or any money from it. At that point, I was still working, like, two jobs. So it was like, I'm not where I want to be. I have these dreams, I have these goals. The baby that would stop everything. It would ruin everything. It would stop everything. I wouldn't be able to do this.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And why do you think we think that way?

[Amanda Hirsch]

I don't know. And that's why it's my mission to spread the fact that for me, because of the other boxes we were talking about, at some point, it was like, okay, all these other things are okay. This is the one thing. So I'm just going to, like, wing it. And hopefully I'm wrong. And I was wrong. And after I had Noah, and I know this because I, again, as you could tell, I'm like, a person, right? Is like, I got my, like, first brand deal after I had Noah. Like, I was postpartum, puffy, ugly, leaky, being like, you should buy this, like, laundry detergent, you know? But it started happening for me, and it was Covid, which horrible time, but great for content creators. You know, it was actually the time that my business took off is when I had my son.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So that's just coincidental.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I'm not preaching it as, like, have a baby. You will succeed. You will succeed. But I know it didn't stop me. So either Was, like, in spite of it or because of it in some way, it still happened. So I know it's, like, possible. And with Noah, I was. I was in the trenches, you know, with my second son, it's like, okay, I have some help. You know, things are a little different now. But I was in it. It was, you know, two years of day and night, only us and breastfeeding. I breastfed to, like, two and a half. So I was, like, in it. And still this happened. So for me. And I know it sounds like, kitschy or, you know, whatever, but it's kind of like a blessing having a baby. And, like, I do feel like, even with my second, like, good happens kind of after, like, it brings, like, good energy and motivates you in a way. And so I really had a positive experience in that way where, like, my kids, and especially my first, which is where I was fearful that everything would change, that I would become this, like, just mom, and I wouldn't be able to. So I have this saying that goes, you could be a mom and still be a dumb. And the reason why, you know, I. I came up with that was because I remember after even getting pregnant and thinking about all the things I was scared of, I said, no, you're gonna keep on doing what you're doing. Which was at the time, like, I was talking a lot about, like, reality TV and recapping shows and talking about pop culture and celebrity stuff. So I'm like, if I'm in the damn hospital, like, being like, so this is what happened. Like, that's what I'm gonna do. And the baby will be eating or breastfeeding, doing whatever. And I literally did that. And I remember flash forward to, you know, having Noah, being at home with him and doing my thing.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

So I kind of proved to myself that I'm following through with what I said I would do. And also that you could be the person that you were, you know? Right. You could still like the things that you liked. You don't have to become interested only in, like, mom things. I know and all of a sudden care about, only, like, kids stuff. And all the stuff that I love before, I still love. And you could really stay yourself and become a mom, you know, which I think scares a lot of people that they won't be able to do.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's like severance. I mean, I. I feel like. I feel like I have my life that I love. I love my job. I love coming to work. I'm not thinking about my kids, and then I go home And I love being a mom. I love being with the kids, and I'm not really thinking about work. And it's like I'm living two different lives, but they're all cohesive, you know, Like, I've got this. I've got. You know, I talk about my kids a lot on the show, but, like, I really enjoy when I'm not with them as much as I enjoy being with them. Do you change the way you approach anything you do because of the kids? Like, can you still be exactly the way you were? Do you handle interviews differently? Do you talk about different topics? Just, you know, like, we're relating on the fact that we have kids but still love our jobs.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Right. So I do love talking about it. It is true. I love hearing about people's, you know, parenting styles, but I don't think I change how I approach. I think in general, I've kind of matured and think about everything before I talk about it, but not in the. The way that I approach things. I can still care about the dumb, even if, like, my kid is sick at home. And I'm dealing with that too. But I'm like, My husband's like, what happened? I'm like, oh, no. Kim was just seen with, like, you know, Lewis Hamilton. So I really live. Like you were saying. Actually, that's a perfect example. Almost like a double life.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Because I really didn't change in my professional life, but I have that completely separate home life where it's like, okay, nobody cares.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right.

[Amanda Hirsch]

You just came from Sundance. Like, calm down. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you don't even get the, like, glory for a second. That's the thing about being a mom, too, is you can come from the chicest, like, gala wherever you're going. And you're like. And then it's like, Lenny vomited. Like, go clean it up. And you're like, okay. You know, and it brings you right back down. Like, you don't get a moment.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You know, how do you handle the day to day of, like, what you do? Like, I'm thinking, you know, we had to watch Heated rivalry because we had all the guests on the show.

[Amanda Hirsch]

How did you watch? So that's a great question.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So it's kind of, you know, and

[Amanda Hirsch]

here I am, like, I saw gel that you had all them. Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Which was awesome.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I mean, Connor's story was amazing, but, like, I need to watch the show. Like, we got a specific email that said all the characters are coming on the show. Like, you have to watch this So I wait for the kids to go to bed. They don't like when I stay downstairs and watch tv. Like, they want me to, you know, go to bed when they go to bed. So I'm like watching on my phone. And then Calvin comes in because he's got to pee again. And you're like. And I'm like. And my face is like bright red. I'm like, does he know what I was just watching?

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yes. I mean, wait. That's exactly how I watched it though.

[Dylan Dreyer]

That's how you.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Exactly. So I was in Miami with the kids when the finale was coming out. It was very important to me that I watched the finale with the world. Cause it was the awaited cottage episode. You know, literally, I'm in bed. Such a similar story. I'm in bed with Noah and he's watching something on his iPad and I'm watching blowjobs on my iPad, you know, and people always ask, how do you have time for. And it's like, first of all, like, they're at school and they have their days, so you have time to watch the shows. But definitely things like that happen.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Was there any you remember being fearful of before you were a mom that you were like, what? Like, I wish I could tell myself, like, just stop. Because it's really not that bad.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I was very chill going into it. I was like, I don't want to watch birth videos. I don't want to know anything people touch on. Oh, I don't want to know. Yeah, I do have this way of not having the anxiety. Like, I don't have the choking anxiety, the sleeping anxiety.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, I don't have any of that either.

[Amanda Hirsch]

You know, like, I. I didn't have that. I was more just worried about how it changed my life.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right.

[Amanda Hirsch]

You know, and turned it upside down. And we've learned that it doesn't have to do that.

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[Amanda Hirsch]

You know,

[Dylan Dreyer]

Stay with us. We'll be right back after the.

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[Amanda Hirsch]

Prices may be higher for delivery.

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[Dylan Dreyer]

You know that thing where you get an amazing pair of shoes at a really great price and want to tell everyone about it.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So do we here at Designer Shoe Warehouse. We'll give you something to brag about, like the latest styles from brands you love or the trends everyone's obsessing over, or shoes that make you feel like, well, you. So go ahead, show off a little. Find shoes that get you and prices that get your budget. Head to your DSW store or dsw.com today.

[Amanda Hirsch]

DSW.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Let us surprise you. Do you travel a lot?

[Amanda Hirsch]

I'm very picky about my travel. I don't love it. Yeah, we went to Miami for, like, one of the breaks, and I regretted bringing my young one. I was like, I should have just left him at home. Like, I like, did you bring him? Because I never had. Like, it was like, we're going a family vacation. Like, Holly. He just hated every minute he was screaming on the plane. He was one of the screaming babies on the plane.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I actually don't mind screaming babies because I know it's not mine. Like, when I'm traveling alone.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yes.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I'm like, oh, I feel for you. I'm so glad that's not me right now.

[Amanda Hirsch]

So I posted about that when I was at the plane. I was like, feel bad for me. Like, and, you know, people go off in the comments. So there's the defenders and there's the freaks that, like, would murder a baby on a plane. And being a mom, I know the anxiety I. I feel when it's my kid, when it's not my kid, I don't have any anxiety attached to it. Just actually, like, sadness.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right.

[Amanda Hirsch]

For the. The parent that has to deal with it. Yeah. You don't have any emo. So you're not like, ow, like, what? But. But it's so crazy because you were. You would think. Who would be the monster to think any differently? And then you go on, like, threads or something. And now I get targeted by the airplane stories. So every day I'll see one being like, there should be a lot no babies. I'm plants. And I'm like, every day I'll see a post like this. I guess because I posted a plane story. But yeah, for the parent, you are dying, I feel like.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And half the time, I mean, with my kids, they just want to run up and down the hallway in a hotel.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Right.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Like, they don't care where we are, how nice the room is, what food we're eating, what we're doing.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

They're just like. Or jumping from bed to bed. Like, that's but with boys, that's all they do is.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I know. It's so scary, the things they do. Let them jump from the bunk bed onto the couch. Or should I say no to everything?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. You know, I just let them do it.

[Amanda Hirsch]

You let them do it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It took till my third before we had stitches.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

But I was impressed that, you know, with three boys.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Right.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It took till the third before we had stitches.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I feel like every man I know has, like, half a tooth. My husband, too. No, it's actually. You have half a tooth. All the. What is that? I feel like this needs to be talked about more.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's true.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Every man has freaking half a tooth. And it's insane because you all are falling on your faces as kids. My husband's just fell off. He would kill me, but he's not going to listen, so it's such a hilarious thing. His thing fell off like the last. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Because girls aren't walking around with half a.

[Amanda Hirsch]

And the dudes here, too, all have a tooth thing. Damn.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Boys are a lot.

[KFC Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I mean, it's just full energy all the time.

[Amanda Hirsch]

That's. So when mine get hurt, I feel like maybe because I have that knowledge, the first thing I'll look at is the teeth. Is the teeth. Yes. Half a tooth. Everybody's doing it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

You have had a tooth.

[Dylan Dreyer]

When you hear people tell you, you make me not scared to be a mom.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yeah. I love that girl.

[Dylan Dreyer]

They love what you're doing. They love how you're doing it.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yeah. It really means a lot to me. As I was telling you, I posted, like, with Noah as a baby, he was part of my stories. Not in a mom content way, but. No, I'm just kidding. And. And he's there as I'm talking about, you know, the Armie Hammer scandal that happened in 2020. It's a big one. No, I don't listen. Cursing over his head. People are like, you're cur. You know, but it's like he does not understand. Yeah, but I think, you know, in the whole. You could be a mom and still be a dumb. Is kind of all part of it. Like, I think I make them not scared to be a mom. Not only because I post with my kids and maybe they think that we're sweet together, that, you know, I talk to them kind of like a person or whatever they see. I think they also see that I haven't changed. Yeah, you're so. I really go back to that. And I think that makes them less scared. Like, they could think my Kids are cute again, or the relationship, or that I'm a fun mom, a cool mom, a gorgeous mom.

[Dylan Dreyer]

All these things.

[Amanda Hirsch]

All these things. But I think the main thing is, wait, you are the same. We see you living your life. We see you working at what you've always said you wanted to do. So it means a lot. And it also, like, it makes me so happy because I know how scared I was of that, right? So to spread the gospel that, you know, you don't have to be scared in that way, it really makes me happy. So that means that I always love to see that, like, if you were scared to do it and you were having all these thoughts and, like, something I posted or said, you know, made you feel like I could do it, too.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So do you ever think about, like, going forward as your kids are aging? Do you think there's always just, like, a sense of fear or uneasiness about every stage of life that your kids go through?

[Amanda Hirsch]

I think about, like, my life. And I know in the city especially, you get so stressed, like, you didn't apply it for. Wait, let me go back to what I know. I know how I grew up. I went to whatever school I was mother zoned for. Excuse my French, you know, and then I was moved to another country, and then I came back, and then I was moved again, and then I came back, like, I was all over the. And look at me. Look at you. No, but I truly mean that. Like, kids are resilient.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It makes you think of things you didn't even know you needed to think about.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I'm like, first of all, Noah's probably gonna be a nepo baby, you know, and he's not gonna have to deal with this. No, he loves it too much. It's crazy. He's like, are you gonna post that on Instagram? I'm like, okay, so we don't have to worry about. We don't. We don't have to worry about that for you. But the school stuff. Yeah, I will not let them get me. You know what I mean? Like, I think, you know, we've all been through it as it comes. I. I kind of deal with it. You know, I think the perfect word and I describe myself is this. Like, I remember having no one. Like, it's like, fluster. I can get flustered.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's a perfect word.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Isn't that the perfect word? Like, I could sweat. And like, when you're whipping the boob out and you're with a stroller and everything's falling and you're A mess. Like, I feel like a mess. But I. I don't over stress about, like dinner, lunch, eating this. Like, I think Noah. Noah's like on a hunger strike. Like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Force feed him. He'll like, eat pasta. And I'll be like, I need water. And I'll be like, the cockroaches.

[Dylan Dreyer]

The water thing, the water thing. Like, this is the most hydrated generation on the planet.

[Amanda Hirsch]

It's funny because Noah last night cried because I got so frustrated, because we go to bed, first of all, after he brushes teeth, he's like, water. So I do the cup. More. More water, more water, whatever. And then we go to bed and he's like, water. And I'm like, rude about it too.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I do too.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I'm like, this is not normal. Like, he does not need this amount of.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You can't be that thirsty.

[Amanda Hirsch]

No.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Get them into bed. And it's. I. I need water. I need water. I'm like, right? Because you're gonna die if you don't drink water right now. And I just get so mean.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I know. They drag it out. Exactly what happened to me last night that I was putting him to sleep and then he laid on me and I was like, noah. And then he cried because I hurt his feelings.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, of course.

[Amanda Hirsch]

So then there's another 20 minutes of consoling. And I was like, you. You know I'm making this longer. I know it sounds mean. Like, of course I felt bad. I was like, you want to hold me? Yes. I always want to hug you. Not right now, because I want to get the helly out of this bed and watch the pit. But it was my mistake that caused a 15 minute delay.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know, because I did it.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I did it. I got mad and I didn't grind

[Dylan Dreyer]

for 30 more seconds.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I held it together for 30 more seconds. I wouldn't have an extra 15 minutes of the tears. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. Yeah, they know when you're stressed. They know when you're ready to get the hell out of there. So, like, play it cool.

[Dylan Dreyer]

More of the parent chat after the break.

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[Dylan Dreyer]

Good prices and participation. Variable supplies last not available on third party ordering platforms.

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[Carter's Advertiser]

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[Dylan Dreyer]

So we do this little thing called parenting Confessions. So I'm gonna ask you questions, okay. Have you ever hid in the bathroom from your kids? Guilty.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

But they always find their way in.

[Amanda Hirsch]

But also, do you consider, like, peeing, finishing peeing, but staying there on your phone for 25 more minutes hiding?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Than, like, daily. Yeah. My husband has to be like, are you okay? And I'm like, coming?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I hear somebody crying downstairs. Mommy. Hold on. I'm in the bathroom. Like, I just.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Just.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's just the easiest place. You can shut and lock the door. Although if you don't lock the door

[Amanda Hirsch]

there and lay on your knees.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. So we also do this thing, like, controversial parenting. Like, a little spicy take on parenting. Something that other people would say, oh, my God, I can't believe you do that. But you stand by for me.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I feel like I really talk to Noah. Like, he's an adult, maybe sometimes too much. So I like gossip. You know, my husband's like, don't. Like, he could literally, like, go say that to. I'll be like, I don't know. Like, what is he wearing? It's like, where does his mom shop for him? You know? So I do that. But it does actually make him very observant. Like, the fact that I discuss these things with him. Like, it's so funny. I went to pick him up the other day, and I had to go into the class because I was picking him up early, and I saw one of his friends, and I was like, oh, my God, that's such a cool scarf. Like, to his friend, his friend was like, okay. Like, thank You. I can bring you one tomorrow. And then Noah goes look and says about this other kid, he has a scarf, too. And I was like. Then as we're walking on, I'm like, not a cute scarf. You know, like, and it's okay. Like, he should know that's a cute scarf. That's not a cute scarf, by the way. Noah has a great sense of style, but, yeah, I kind of have him. Like, you know, if my sister's being super late, I'll be like, she's the slow one in the family, you know, like, so I clue him in. I feel like it did give him. He has such a sense of humor. He gets it. He gets me. Even if I turn into the Hulk, like, hul. Just have to look at me and be like, yeah, I get. You know, like, he gets me because I show him all of me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

He doesn't get this, like, mom, like, honey Howard, you know, he gets the whole real me with, like, the sass and, you know, the thing. And so, yeah, I guess that's.

[Dylan Dreyer]

What about something you're proud of as a mom? Like, when do you really think you're crushing this?

[Amanda Hirsch]

When I see that my kid is. And I'll speak of, like, the older one because the younger one is still a baby, but when I see him have confidence, I feel like I'm killing it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Because to me, confidence is such a sign of, like, good things are happening, you know, and security. Security. And that I'm giving him everything he needs to feel good about himself. I feel so good about that because I know for me, my mom did that for me. And no matter what our circumstance was, like, she made me feel like I was the most beautiful, the most talented, the most whatever. And I talk about how, like, that made me able to, like, you know, stick with this for so long and believe that I can, like, do it and do it and do it. So when I see that in my kid, I'm so happy because I know how much that gave me in my life. Like, without having confidence, you know, you're

[Dylan Dreyer]

scared to do everything.

[Amanda Hirsch]

I would be scared to do anything that I'm doing now. So I love it. Love watching him look in the mirror. Love watching him, you know, be proud of himself or, you know, be the first one to raise his hand or whatever it is. I'm like, I'm doing good. Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Well, it seems like so much of that confidence came from you, so be proud.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Thank you.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You seem like such a wonderful mom.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Thank you so much.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's so nice to chat with you.

[Tostitos Announcer]

You too.

[Amanda Hirsch]

Thank you for having me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Thank you so much. So my takeaway, I guess, from all of this is that it's okay to feel scared. Yes, your life is about to change, but your identity is not going to change. You're still you. You're just adding mom to the list and you're going to crush it. Everything is going to be just fine. You'll see. So of course I want to hear your take on our conversation. I want to know about the first time you became a mom, what changed and really what stayed the same. You can DM us on Instagram today. Parents. Oryllon Dreyer, NBC. Let's bring you into this conversation and see what it was like for you. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. This episode was produced by Ann Legamayo with video production by Andy Tavares and audio production by Matt Tierney. Rachel Paula Abramson is our parenting reporter. Our senior producer is Tyree Noble. It was edited by Ali Strain. Our audio engineer is Joe Plord. Our head of audio production is Jessica Fenton. Ashley Domagola is our production manager. Sadie Bass is our supervising producer. Ariana Davis is the executive editor of the Today show. And Ashley Kodiani is the vice president of content strategy. I'm Dylan Dreier and this has been the Parent Chat, a production of the Today Show. See you next week.

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[Amanda Hirsch]

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