Ashley Graham: Raising Men Their Partners Will Thank Her For

Summary

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The Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer

Episode: Ashley Graham – Raising Men Their Partners Will Thank Her For
Date: April 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This candid, laughter-filled episode of "The Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer" features supermodel, entrepreneur, and fellow boy mom Ashley Graham. Together, Dylan and Ashley swap stories and strategies for raising three boys each, diving into the unique energy, chaos, and responsibility that comes with being a mom to sons. The duo explores everything from household messes and sibling dynamics to instilling emotional intelligence, kindness, and practical life skills. Their conversation is as heartfelt as it is humorous, offering real-life insights and plenty of relatable moments for parents everywhere.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Chaos of Parenting Boys

• Dylan sets the tone with an anecdote about her sons constructing a makeshift bobsled to slide down their home’s steep stairs—with a helping hand from grandma (01:14).

• Both commiserate over the perpetual mess, near-constant physical antics, and the resilience that comes from managing chaos.

  “What else do you learn your lesson? And that’s what today's episode is all about. Just parenting boys.” – Dylan Dreyer (02:50)

2. On Raising Boys to Become Great Men

• Both moms express their determination to raise future men who are emotionally intelligent, respectful, and helpful around the house.

• Ashley shares her "North Star": to have her future daughters-in-law thank her for raising good men.

  “My biggest goal is… thank you for making an amazing man that is my husband. And I thought, oh, my God, that's what I want. I want their wives to come to me and say thank you.” – Ashley Graham (04:45)

• Teaching practical life skills: Both moms talk about making sure their sons do chores like laundry and help out with the kitchen, knowing it’ll serve them (and others) later.

3. Sibling Dynamics and Birth Order

• Dylan and Ashley discuss the particular pressures and expectations placed on their eldest sons, with both admitting the oldest often ends up shouldering more responsibility.

  “You’re the oldest. That’s just your lot in life.” – Dylan Dreyer (06:50)

• Ashley, mother of twins, hasn’t revealed their birth order but finds the expected eldest/youngest behavior emerges anyway. The dynamic naturally falls into place.

4. Creating (Semi-) Order Out of Chaos

• The art of encouraging boys to clean up after themselves, manage bathroom hygiene, and take care of their spaces comes up—punctuated by hilarious stories of dried pee and neglected laundry (05:04).

5. Embracing the Energy and Mess

• Both guests agree they’ve become adept at tuning out the noise and activity, measuring peace by the absence of blood and broken bones.

  "As long as the kitchen is put together and there's no blood and bones, I'm totally fine. I don't hear it. It's almost like I don't see it.” – Ashley Graham (13:44)

• Ashley remarks that the only time to worry is when it’s suddenly quiet: that usually means trouble.

6. Handling Tears, Fights, and Emotions

• Injuries and emotional blow-ups are routine. Both moms work on teaching their boys to solve their issues independently—with a few ground rules (no head shots in roughhousing).

• Dylan notes how surprisingly emotional her boys can be, and both are intent on fostering healthy emotional expression—without coddling.

  “There’s no room for babying. Especially these little boys that we want to raise into exceptional men.” – Ashley Graham (15:47)

  “They have such a soft spot in their hearts.” – Dylan Dreyer (16:16)

7. Emotional Coaching

• Ashley praises her husband’s example of talking through feelings, stressing the importance of modeling emotional literacy at home (16:43).

• Dylan shares her struggles in drawing emotions out of each child, especially her youngest, and the worry of inadvertently shortchanging one of them.

  “Don’t ask me. I am over here just like winging it. I’m like, there’s the spaghetti. Throw it on the wall. Oh, that one works.” – Ashley Graham (18:46)

8. Parental Self-Care & Mom Guilt

• Both admit to emotional “mini-breakdowns” at the end of long days, balancing the drive to “do it all” with the reality that perfect balance is impossible.

  “The word balance really doesn’t exist. It’s more about consistency in the things that matter most and the order of things.” – Ashley Graham (21:41)

• Dylan notes that self-care is rough in the current phase of life but accepts that this is “just the point in my life that I'm at.” (21:48)

9. Personalized Parenting and Favorite Rituals

• The importance of one-on-one time: Ashley and her husband try to take each child out individually for “dates,” strengthening parent-son bonds (23:17).
• When discussing parenting “wins,” Ashley highlights focusing on simple, meaningful birthday celebrations over extravagant parties (28:20).

10. Vision for the Future – The Kind of Men They Hope to Raise

• Both emphasize raising men who are kind, confident, emotionally articulate, and a positive force in the world.

• Dylan swells with pride over her son’s “kindness award”—more valuable than academic grades.

  “I want to raise men who love themselves, but also know how to love others just as much, if not more.… For us, our biggest thing in our house is kindness.” – Ashley Graham (29:09)

  “I feel such a responsibility.… I can make them into three incredible men if I do it right.” – Dylan Dreyer (30:17)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the Oldest Child's Fate
  “You’re the oldest. That’s just your lot in life.” – Dylan Dreyer (06:50)

• Ashley’s Wish for Her Sons’ Partners
  “I want their wives to come to me and say thank you.” – Ashley Graham (04:45)

• Handling Boy Energy
  “When I'm home, I'm like, crocs. Hair is not brushed, like, no makeup, like, lucky I have a bra. And the boys are like, let's wrestle.” – Ashley Graham (10:19)

• On Embracing the Mess
  “The toothpaste thing is disgusting. There needs to be a new toothpaste invented…” – Dylan Dreyer (27:52)

• Recapping Boy Mom Life
  “There is something so refreshing about just talking to another boy mom. Commiserating in some spots, but also that awe factor. I think boys are so amazing, and it's just so much fun.” – Dylan Dreyer (30:53)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening Story: Cardboard bobsled incident – 01:14
• Introducing Ashley Graham – 03:48
• On teaching boys life skills and manners – 04:25
• Sibling roles and birth order – 06:33
• Chaos, noise, and tuning it out – 13:44
• Managing injuries, emotions, and fights – 15:04
• How they process and encourage emotions – 16:43
• The elusive “work-life balance” and self-care – 21:41
• One-on-one time with each child – 23:17
• Quickfire parenting “game” – Who gets out the door fastest, snacks, mess, etc. – 24:29
• Parenting win: birthday celebrations – 28:20
• Closing reflections: Raising kind, emotionally intelligent men – 29:09

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Final Takeaways

This episode offers a refreshingly honest, funny, and heartfelt conversation about the wild world of raising boys. Dylan and Ashley’s willingness to “wing it,” laugh at the mess, and intentionally guide their sons toward adulthood—with a focus on kindness, resilience, and emotional intelligence—will resonate with parents in all walks of life. Their camaraderie and stories remind listeners that, while no one has it all figured out, sharing the journey makes parenting richer and more rewarding.

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Transcript

[Ashley Graham]

Neighbor.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

Gabo and Doug. There's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Ashley Graham]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Ashley Graham]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Dylan Dreyer]

We gather here tonight to bring women back to their rightful place.

[Ashley Graham]

The Testaments, a new Hulu Original Series from the executive producers of the Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than believe that the people around you are monsters. The battle isn't over. There comes a time when you have

[Dylan Dreyer]

to take action, when you have to

[Ashley Graham]

choose your own destiny.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Never quite as it seems.

[Ashley Graham]

Watch the new Hulu Original series, the Testaments, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Don't ask me. I am over here just, like, winging it. I'm like, there's the spaghetti. Throw it on the wall. Oh, that one works.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Thank God. Hi, everyone. I'm Dylan Dreyer, and you might recognize me from the third hour of Today. I'm also a mom to three boys, Calv, Ollie and Rusty. Calvin's my oldest, he's nine.

[Ashley Graham]

Do it here.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Ollie's my middle one. He's six.

[Ashley Graham]

Ollie.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And then there's Rusty.

[Ashley Graham]

Rusty.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Rusty's four. And Rusty's the youngest child. And he honestly doesn't give a crap about anything I say. So since we can all commiserate when it comes to parenting, I thought this show was the perfect way to open up the dialogue, have a conversation, bring in some professionals who know what they're doing, and also to bring in some guests who, like myself, don't always know what we. But we're trying. We're commiserating. We're trying to figure it all out together. I thought this would be the perfect way to have a nice group chat, or rather, a parent chat. So I wanna start each episode by welcoming you into my home. The chaos of my house. So I walk into this happening. The boys have taken a long piece of cardboard. They've duct taped it to the top of the stairs.

[Ashley Graham]

This is a bobsled buddy.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Now, these are steep stairs. This is like the steepest stairs in house. And it's duct taped to the top of the stairs.

[Ashley Graham]

Duct tape is actually very strong.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And they are proceeding to slide down the stairs on this piece of cardboard. Ollie actually gets hit in the head by a couple of cans of dog food on his way down as he knocks those off the shelf behind him.

[Ashley Graham]

That was so fun.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Now, in a normal situation, if it was just the three boys doing this, I might be a little terrified of what they're doing. All right, let's go. I'm running this video, but the person recording the video is my mom, the one who supposed to be watching the kids. Like, I think she gave them the supplies to actually do this. I mean, that's got to be all right, right? And it was all fun and games until Rusty goes down. You know, eventually he ends in tears. But I mean, how else do you learn your lesson? And that's what today's episode is all about. Just parenting boys. And I am so excited to chat with my next guest about that. Ashley Graham is a model. She's an entrepreneur. And we can relate because she' also a mom to three boys. She's got Isaac, who's 6, and Roman and Malachi twins, who are 4. And we're gonna get into what it's like raising boys. Here's our conversation. Hi, Ashley.

[Ashley Graham]

Hi.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Thank you so much for talking boy mom stuff because it's so nice to relate to another boy mom. You have three.

[Ashley Graham]

Three.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And you have three, and I have three.

[Ashley Graham]

And I don't meet many people that have three boys living in their house.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Don't you feel pretty, like badass having three boys?

[Ashley Graham]

Yes, I do. I feel like I have, like, I'm going to have like my own security guards pretty soon. And then like, I walk through like the queen. There's like a hair blow moment that that moment's coming. I need to train them. We need to start working now.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I am training them to be the perfect men.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Like, do you notice? Do you think about that?

[Ashley Graham]

So we are working on manners.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes.

[Ashley Graham]

And like opening the door for mom or grandma or like, you know, making sure people that are older than you are going ahead or whatever. But then my biggest goal is one that I did was I said thank you to my mother in law. It was totally like out of nowhere. And I was just like, thank you for making an amazing man that is my husband. And I thought, oh, my God, that's what I want. Like, I want their wives to come to me and say thank you.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

So that's like a north star for me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I'm teaching my boys to cook. My oldest loves to cook. I trying to work in more laundry. At least separating the laundry.

[Ashley Graham]

They are doing some of the laundry with us too, which is so fun.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

How? Like, what's your toilet situation looking like? Because mine has dry pee all over it. We're still there.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So with my first. Who's much better at it than the other two, I make him wipe the seat if he pees on it. Because now my youngest, he'll take like one little square of two ply toilet paper and, like, just dab it up. And she's like, how did you get them to wipe the seat? I'm like. Cause it's unacceptable that if there's ever a moment, I'm going to sit on the toilet and sit in there. Pee. It's just disgusting.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes. I. So I'm the mom that, like, if the toilet seat is up and I know there's somewhere playing, I will go and I will say, who did it? Fess up. Right now. I'm like, come with me. And I make them march all the way back to the bathroom and put the seat down, wash your hands and say, don't do it again. So I'm a little. I'm not really the militant one. I try to be. But with the toilet, for some reason, it's like a thing.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Well. Cause it's gross. And you're the woman living in a house with boys and it's not fair everywhere. Right. It's not fair. Like, how gross they can be. And I do the same thing with their clothes. I'm always like, Calvin. And he knows that that's the one where you need to come right now because you took off your clothes and you just left them there. At least put them in the laundry basket. Like, I'm trying to work these little lessons in so that they are just better, cleaner human beings in the future.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes. Ours. They know to put everything in the washing machine. Close the door.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And it's funny because kids actually really like to help, you know, especially with boys. It's easy as a mom to step in, but I think you'll do more than you think they'll do.

[Ashley Graham]

Your oldest is nine.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes.

[Ashley Graham]

And how are you treating him differently than, like, your baby?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Well, Calvin certainly has to take the blame for everything. I'm very much like Calvin. You're the older brother. Like, just give it. Just give it to him.

[Ashley Graham]

Right?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Just. Just do it. Just give it to.

[Ashley Graham]

I feel bad for Isaac because that happens to him all the time. Okay. I'm glad you said that.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know. It's just that's. And I'll actually say to him, you're the oldest. So that's just your lot in life.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah. I say, you're the oldest. You know better. You're the more responsible one. It's only two years. He's only six.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know, but still. So how does it work with twins? Do you find that they kind of go in their birth order?

[Ashley Graham]

Well, okay, so we haven't told them who was born first.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Okay.

[Ashley Graham]

And there is a full 2 hours and 7 minutes in between them. I know. So I'm really trying to not tell. But here's the thing. At the end of the day, they are acting in their birth order, and it's. It is wild to me how it just happens.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right. They're raised in the same house at the same time.

[Ashley Graham]

My baby acts like a baby. The. Or the. The first twin acts like the oldest. And he's very like, you're gonna do what I say when I say it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

And the oldest, he. He is like, I am the oldest brother, and I am the leader. And he wants to help, and he wants to help fix things, but he also wants to, you know, take. Stir the pot about.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, my God, the pot stirring from the oldest, the most responsible. We were at dinner last night, and they're big into, like, jinxes right now. Like, if you say this, like, say the same word at the same time, it's like, jinx, Jinx. But then they can't talk until somebody says their name three times. And when Calvin gets jinxed, I'm like, nobody say Calvin's name. Like, you can't, because he's the instigator. He's the one that eggs everybody else on, because he's not going to do the bad thing, but he's going to let everybody else do the bad thing.

[Ashley Graham]

So I'm the oldest, and I was always like, a little bit of the pot stir, too. And my mom would remind me of this now, raising Isaac, and she's like, that's you. You would do that? And it's like, there's no solve.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right.

[Ashley Graham]

In my opinion. I mean, maybe there's help. Help. If there's a solve, tell me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I don't think there is, but it

[Ashley Graham]

doesn't feel like there is. I mean, here we are, a whole other generation later. My mom's like, that's what you would do.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And it just happened so naturally.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

[Dylan Dreyer]

We'll be right back.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance. With Liberty Mutual Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Ashley Graham]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

league anyways, Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Ashley Graham]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Dylan Dreyer]

We gather here tonight to bring women back to their rightful place.

[Ashley Graham]

The Testaments, a new Hulu original series from the executive producers of the Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than believe that the people around you are monsters. The battle isn't over. There comes a time when you have

[Dylan Dreyer]

to take action, when you have to

[Ashley Graham]

choose your own destiny.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Never quite as it seems.

[Ashley Graham]

Watch the new Hulu original series, the Testaments, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers Terms apply.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Hey, guys, Willie Geist here reminding you to check out the Sunday sit down podcast.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

On this week's episode, I get together with stand up comedy superstar Nate Bargetzi

[Ashley Graham]

in front of a live audience at New York City Winery to talk about his rise from small clubs to sold

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

out arenas around the world.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You can get my conversation with Nate

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

for free wherever you download your podcasts.

[Dylan Dreyer]

What do you love about being a boy mom?

[Ashley Graham]

I love that it's just like a different energy because of my job. It is like I'm always getting dressed up. I'm always in hair and makeup. I'm always like, you know, trying on clothes and being, you know, quote unquote girly. Right? And then when I'm home, I'm like, crocs. Hair is not brushed, like, no makeup, like, lucky I have a bra. And the boys are like, let's wrestle. And there is this like, boy energy in me where, like, I will throw down and I will get sweaty and it's time to go. And I never knew this much more about dinosaurs. I never.

[Dylan Dreyer]

There's a whole world of stuff that I never knew I would know all these things about.

[Ashley Graham]

Interesting. Yeah, but we do do, like, tea time. It's not as formal as, like, maybe when I was a little girl, but like, we'll put stuffed animals around and we'll like, go into a circle and have conversations. Ye all sipping a. A coffee and coffee. And we're like, so what did you learn today?

[Dylan Dreyer]

You know, it's like, it's kind of

[Ashley Graham]

like tea time with the girl.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Did you ever want a girl?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh. When they told me it was two boys in there. I was like, my husband's not gonna let me have a fourth one. I just know it would.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You want a fourth?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah. I would have four and five.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I wish I started younger, because I would love to have just a whole brood of kids. I love being a mom.

[Ashley Graham]

Wait, how old were you when you had your last.

[Dylan Dreyer]

When I had my last. So I'm 44 and he's 4, so I guess 40. Okay.

[Ashley Graham]

I told Justin I wanted to be done at 35 because I just know. I talked to my friends in their 40s, and they're like, I'm tired.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Tired.

[Ashley Graham]

And I know how I feel now at 38, just with three little dudes. So I told Justin I want to have three kids. I don't want a middle child, and I want to be done at 35. And guess what? God gave me exactly what I want.

[Dylan Dreyer]

That actually really works.

[Ashley Graham]

So I'm at this place where I'm like, okay, be grateful for what you asked for because you've been given it. Don't, like, go and chance it or, like, you know, go be exhausted because you really just wanted your girl. So I'm happy. Like, I just launched a wine brand. That's my baby girl. Hey, baby girl. Right?

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know you can put all your love into that.

[Ashley Graham]

Exactly.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And it doesn't annoy you.

[Ashley Graham]

No, exactly. She don't talk back.

[Dylan Dreyer]

My therapist actually just said this to me the other day because I was just like, you know, I feel like I'm at a point right now where I don't know what the next thing is. Like, the next thing they get excited about, and blah, blah, blah. She's like, yes, but think of all the things you prayed for and the things you wanted. And you. You're in that right now. Like, sometimes it's important to step back and just appreciate all the prayers that were answered before you're thinking, what's next? What's next? What's next?

[Ashley Graham]

It's a great life lesson. It's something that my mom always reminds me of too. She's like, just be happy with what you have. You know, you are a hustler, and you always will be a hustler. But at the end of the day, you can also be a settled hustler and just know that your next move is not. Doesn't have to be right now. It can be coming. I know moms. They're wise.

[Dylan Dreyer]

They are.

[Ashley Graham]

I'm just hoping I'll be like that for my voice.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You will. I'm sure. You already are. I'm curious because I have friends who have girls, and actually, they were over the other day, and she has two girls and a boy. And my kids are just like, she, like, circles, circles, chasing each other, chasing each other. As long as nobody's crying, I'm fine. Like, I don't mind. No blood, no bones. Yes. It really doesn't bother me when they're running or screaming or I can actually tune it out. And she's like, is this what your house is like? All the time. I'm like, all the time. And she's like, I just never. Because her son, because he only has two older sisters, he's pretty calm. Just like, chill legos, you know? Just like, very chill. And then eventually he got fired up when he was with my boys. But, I mean, how do you embrace the chaos?

[Ashley Graham]

I am like, you. I don't hear it. Yeah, it's so interesting. As long as, like, the kitchen is put together and there's no blood and bones, I'm totally fine. I don't hear it. It's almost like I don't see it. And my husband gets a little bit overwhelmed. Unless if he's involved. Unless if he's the one, like, creating the chaos. But the other girls that we had over, like, I have a special drawer of, like, dolls and, like, dress up things for them just in case they're like, why did you bring me here, Mother? Like, why? This is not the play date I was expecting.

[Dylan Dreyer]

These are just sword fights and balls being thrown.

[Ashley Graham]

But it's just how you can tune it out. Especially when. See, for me, when I don't hear the noise, I'm like, something's wrong. They're doing something illegal, and I need to go check on them right away so that I actually would rather. Noise, Right?

[Dylan Dreyer]

How do you handle injuries and stuff? Like, because I hit a point sometimes where I'm like, okay, they're running, they're running, they're running. I'm like, I'll step in for a second. Just, guys, just to remind you, if this continues, one of you will get hurt and not gonna care when you get hurt, right? Because then they. They do get hurt. They come over, they're crying, and they won't stop crying. And one guy will, like, cry till he pukes, and it's just like, all right. Like, stop.

[Ashley Graham]

Is that a thing?

[Dylan Dreyer]

He just gets so, like. And then he just works out. Like, he gags, and it's just like a. It's just. It's just gross. I'm always trying to prevent the tears from lasting for too long.

[Ashley Graham]

Cause it's just, I haven't heard this.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I'm not in the mood for it. Right.

[Ashley Graham]

Holy cow.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So, like, how do you go vomit in private? I'm like, are you gonna throw up?

[Ashley Graham]

I think so.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Okay. Just go to the bathroom. Like, just go.

[Ashley Graham]

That's hilarious.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's a hole.

[Ashley Graham]

I don't think that you're doing anything wrong because I feel like I'm doing the same thing. I'm like, you need to go work it out. If they come over. Oh, Malachi hit me. Roman bit me. Well, first of all, Roman has six missing teeth, so it didn't hurt that bad. And thirdly, I'm like, guys, you have to go work it out. I'm not dealing with this. The only thing I say to them is, no head shots. We will let them box. Like, they'll even put gloves on and box. It's a thing. Yeah, but I'm like, as long as it's only body shots and no head shots, nobody will get in trouble. Now if you do a head shot, you're going to go into a timeout, and then the timeouts have levels to it. There's no room for babying. Especially these little boys that we want to, like, raise into exceptional men. I'll be there for them always, but I'm not gonna be like, oh, ya baby.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Would you?

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, I'll be funny and I'll do that right. Pin him down and tickle.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I'm like, would you get beat up

[Ashley Graham]

by your little brother? Yeah. Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I do find that boys are more emotional than I ever thought they would be.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, highly.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And like, they love me.

[Ashley Graham]

Do they want to crawl back inside of you?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes, exactly the way they. Sometimes I need to, like, detach them from me because they're just so much touching. It's like, I need you to get off of me. Yes. But. But they have such a soft spot in their hearts. And I, with mental health being such, you know, so top of mind. I work every day to talk through their emotions, but not in like a. Like a frou Frou kind of way. It's more just like, get it out. Like, tell me what you're feeling. How do you handle their emotions?

[Ashley Graham]

We are very much like that. My husband is exceptional with them. And he is a man that's totally like, into talking about his feelings and his emotions, but also doing it in a very matter of fact way. Like, this is how I'm feeling. This is what I'm going through, and I need A minute or we're gonna about this. And he does that really well with the boys. And he's like, no, I want you to tell me how you feel. And he'll sit down with them until one of the boys really like expresses themselves and is learning how to get it out. Because I think that's another thing that we're not teaching kids is like how to do it. We just expect to them like to say what they're feeling. Maybe they don't know how to do that. So I've, I've been learning from Justin, like how just talk to the kids about their emotions and stuff. Because I come from a family where we take the rug and we brush it under and we keep it moving. And I am not doing that in my family because it, it breeds like resentment and issues and it can show up in your body in weird ways. And we have had long conversations about how we do not want that in our family.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, it is different. Like we always just, if you're mad at somebody, just don't talk to them for a couple weeks.

[Ashley Graham]

And how healthy that. Not healthy at all. And now look at everybody's family, right?

[Dylan Dreyer]

I was spoiled with Calvin because my oldest, he's very good at expressing, you know, his emotions. He wants to talk. He'll be like, can I walk the dog with you? So we can just talk. Like he's very in tuned with how he's feeling. And the other two really can't put into work words the way they're feeling. And I'm working through this right now because my youngest has a temper. Like a throw things temper, kick somebody in the shin kind of temper. And I'm trying this, I sit down with him, I'm like, are you sad or are you mad? And then he'll answer and I'm like, are you mad at someone or something? And then he kind of goes off on a tangent. He's mad that there's a mess in the kitchen or something. But I'm like, okay, well that's probably not it. But let's talk about. So I do struggle with. I was so spoiled with Calvin, like trying to get the emotions out of the other two. And I wonder if I'm, you know, because he's the youngest, I'm not giving him the attention he needs or the middle child he's not getting, you know, so I, I don't know, like, I don't know how to manage the different personalities.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, don't ask me. I am over here just like winging it. I'm like, there's the spaghetti. Throw it on the wall. Oh, that one works.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Thank God.

[Ashley Graham]

I lean on my husband so much. But there is nothing that I can't do without praying through it because if I, like, have an unsubt in my spirit about that, I'm like, mm, we're going to pray. What a blessing to be able to see your kids. Then start praying.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, it gets me so emotional because,

[Dylan Dreyer]

you know, they have someone holding their hand.

[Ashley Graham]

Exactly.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Stay with us. We'll be right back after the break.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Ashley Graham]

Hey everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Ashley Graham]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. This week on Meet the Press. Endgame in Iran after President Trump's speech signals weeks of war. Still ahead. Ahead we dig into the impact here at home. Plus a deep dive into the new battle over voting restrictions this week on Meet the Press. Listen to the full episode now wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Hello, I'm Elizabeth Day, the creator and host of how to Fail. It's the podcast that celebrates the things in life that haven't gone right and what, if anything, we've learned from those mistakes to help us succeed better. Each week, my guests share three failures sparking intimate, thought provoking and funny conversations you'll hear from a diverse range of voices sharing what they've learned through their failures. Join me Wednesdays for a new episode each week. This is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment original podcast. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. How are you at the end Day the of of the day?

[Ashley Graham]

Like oh, I have like many like breakdowns. Me too.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I just wanted to know if you did too.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh yeah. I'm like in the hot bath just crying. Cuz it's like this feels like the time to cry is right now, right?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Just to get it out. Not because I'm sad but just to get it out.

[Ashley Graham]

And sometimes I am sad because I'm like, did I put too much on my plate? Right? You know, cuz my mom told me when I was thinking about having number four, she was like, somebody always feels like they're left behind and I never want A kid to feel left behind, really. And I think no parent really like, wants that for their kids. So then I'm thinking about that and I want to be an amazing wife and I want to be show up for my business partners, I want to show up for my team. I want to do it all. Exactly. And it's like, how can you and you really. I mean, for me, the word balance really doesn't exist. It's more about consistency in the things that matter most and like the order of things.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right, the order of things. I, I do, because everybody talks about self care and yes, I would love to care for myself a little bit more, but I also feel like I'm in this point in my life where like, this is the phase I'm in. Like I'm in a phase right now where life is crazy and dinner time is crazy and like just all day I'm always thinking what I need to do for the kids that I don't have a lot of time to do. Like, I'll find it every once in a while. You know, I'll exercise or I'll try to get a massage or something or meet up with a friend, but it doesn't happen a lot because I think that's just the point in my life that I'm at.

[Ashley Graham]

You have three kids?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. Like, my oldest is nine already. Like, he's just like flying through school and flying through sports and now he's starting to want to have play dates over his friend's house. And I'm like, wait, you don't just want to be here with me?

[Ashley Graham]

Is it still called a play date at 9?

[Dylan Dreyer]

I still call it a play date.

[Ashley Graham]

I know. I was like, or is it like I want to hang out with my friend Mom?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, it's, it's getting there. It's, it's close to that. But they're drop off play dates now, you know, and it's like. So he actually said, which makes me feel good because he said to me yesterday he had a playdate like one day and then the next day I was busy doing things. And then he's like, I just feel like I haven't seen you. I'm like, buddy, it's been like a day and a half. He's like, but we haven't spent any time together. I said, well, you were at a play date and now I'm busy today day and yada yada.

[Ashley Graham]

And now and then what do you do? Like, it's not like you can take off work and be like, let's have

[Dylan Dreyer]

a day hang out.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So I just give him a hug and I'm like, please always love me like this. Like, always want to be with me. Like, I'm so scared of that I know. Day where they choose their friends over us.

[Ashley Graham]

So my husband and I have been trying to do these, like, take the one kid out just for a date or a coffee or whatever, and it's very difficult. But he. Justin has been doing it because I think there's. There's something really special about, like, a son and father relationship that's important. Of course, the son and mother is also just as important, but there's just like that bond. I can see that that's, like, blossoming so tightly between the three of them and their dad.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's so important because we give off different energies.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

How do your boys get along with each other, do you find?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, they fight like cats and dogs, and then they're like, obsessed with each

[Dylan Dreyer]

other and they're like, do they all love each other? Do you see them branching off? Like, especially the twins.

[Ashley Graham]

It's a little bit of everything. It's. It just kind of depends on what project they're working on or where they're playing. I have one that's like really an outside boy, and he just. But he wants somebody to be outside with him, you know, I do notice

[Dylan Dreyer]

sometimes, I guess, just the dynamics of three. I mean, I grew up with two older brothers, so I saw it too.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, you're the baby.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I'm the baby.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, wow.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So I have two brothers. But there was always that. I love the dynamic of three.

[Ashley Graham]

I'm the oldest of three girls.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, okay. And so I was. You grew up in a totally different

[Ashley Graham]

major league theater vibes. Yeah. I was like, it's my way or the highway.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So we want to do a little game. Okay. So we've got paddles here. Okay, kids.

[Ashley Graham]

Okay. Who's. Oh, they're for me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

They're for you. Okay, so I'm gonna. Let's see. And then so it's like mom first. Kids, you can choose which one who gets out the door faster about mom. Really?

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

Come on.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Why can't boys, like, put their shoes on?

[Ashley Graham]

I just do slide ons.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know, Me too.

[Ashley Graham]

I'm still at that. Oh, you do? Even with your nine year old. Yeah, because it's like a thing.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Just faster.

[Ashley Graham]

And I think it might be a male genetic thing, but I think we're also.

[Dylan Dreyer]

We're like go getters. Like, I feel like, like, I've got Every moment of my day sort of planned out.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

My personality. I know. What time before. Yes.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

My clothes are laid out the night before. Like I've got. From the second I wake up to the second I leave every morning, it is exactly 20 minutes. It's never before or after. It's like clockwork.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes. I plug my coffee in at the same time every morning. Like it's all just ready to go.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, I hear you.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. But going back to the shoe thing, I should put more effort in teaching. Especially my 9 year old how to tie shoes. He's okay at it.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah. He'll learn eventually.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right? But Velcro. Did Velcro not exist when we were kids? I feel like we were tying shoes when we were little.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Like my mom was never tying my shoe.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, we've failed.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I do feel like. I just don't feel like doing it. Who needs more snacks to survive the day? Day?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, the kids.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So many snacks.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah. I mean, I could. I can fast for like a week. I'm fine. I mean, not really. I usually just take whatever. That's totally a lie. I can maybe give myself six hours.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I'm usually just snacking on their snacks, like when they're not looking because they will get.

[Ashley Graham]

But my boys get hangry.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

And they know. They're like, mom, I'm hangry.

[Dylan Dreyer]

What are their go to snacks?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, it's a mosh posh. It's like a beef jerky. A fruit pirate's booty, you know? Yeah, Chickpeas.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, they eat good stuff.

[Ashley Graham]

Really well. We just don't buy junk.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, you buy. I know. Well, I buy. Like there's always potato chips. There's always potato chips. I've. I have a weakness for potato chips, so there's always potato chips. Who wakes up in a better mood, you or the kids?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, oh, it's always me. I'm a morning person.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Me too.

[Ashley Graham]

I was like born for the morning.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes. The kids actually aren't rude in the morning or any. They're. They're happy. It's my husband. He's not a morning person.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's like, dad's still sleeping. Yeah. That's nice that they're thinking about that. Who's more dramatic when they're tired?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, the kids.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So dramatic. Oh, God. I let them watch TV before bed, like after their showers. And they kind of watch TV and they're kind of perky and Right. And they're happy and a second, I say, okay, TV off. We're going to bed. My legs don't work. I need you to carry me.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah, that's it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Please carry me.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, please carry me. They all say that, right? Oh, my God.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Can you carry me?

[Ashley Graham]

Up until recently, I could carry all three of them up the steps.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, wow.

[Ashley Graham]

I know. And I was like, tell me how strong I am, guys.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Got one of them. You're so strong. Yes. Although once you get to the top, like four steps, that's it. Your legs don't work. Your legs don't work. Yeah. Who's messier, your sons or you?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, my kids.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

What about you? Cuz it sounds like you're a little messy, but I'm a little messy.

[Dylan Dreyer]

My kids are actually good at putting toys away.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, that's good. Mine are too. Yeah, but mine are like, there's like sausages on the floor at breakfast or might be like eggs smeared across. Like the counter.

[Dylan Dreyer]

The toothpaste thing is disgusting.

[Ashley Graham]

There needs to be a new toothpaste invented for how it comes out of the tube.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So do you remember vented?

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And like, the push thing, it's nice and neat.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It doesn't exist anymore. I've tried to find it.

[Ashley Graham]

It's awful. And it dries all on the top. It's funky.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. All bathroom with the kids is just disgusting to me. If you could look back at something you could think of recently a parenting win. Something where you said, you know what? I've got this.

[Ashley Graham]

I think for me, it's the birthdays. I feel like I'm winning because we're not overdoing it. I just had Isaac make his own birthday cake. And there's just something so pure and precious about that. And also not overly celebrating, but also doing something fun as a family for the birthday.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So it's not just about toys and presents.

[Ashley Graham]

It's about an experience, and it's about being together, and it's about you being celebrated but not doing the whole, like, hoopla of, like, what we see on social media with these birthdays. So I think that that's been a big parenting win for me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So finally, you know, it's looking into the future. Right? Like, not that we want time to fly by, because I'm. I know it's sad. I'm embracing the chaos. I love the craziness of it all. But, like, what kind of men do you want to raise and what are you doing to. To make that happen?

[Ashley Graham]

I want to raise men who. Who love themselves, but also know how to love others just as much, if not more. And I mean that for, like, their business, for their family, for, you know, walking down the street. And for us, like, our biggest thing in our house is kindness. And, you know, the bullies at school, like, how do we treat the bullies at school? We are still kind to them. And I think that that's, like, the biggest thing in our house right now is just making sure that everything's led with kindness and being in a world that we're in today. I think that, like, raising incredibly important, but also, like, emotionally intelligent men who. Who know how to express themselves and also have confidence in themselves, too.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I love that.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Calvin just won a kindness award at school, and I was so proud. It was, like, better than any grade he could have gotten on a test. It was just, like, a kindness thing. And, you know, being in this business and telling stories, you know, there. I'm a meteorologist. I'm a woman in STEM and science and all that kind of stuff. And I. I'm big into girl power and, you know, just like. But at the same time, I feel such a responsibility. Like, I have these three incredible boys, and I can make them into three incredible men if I do it right. And I focus every day to make sure I tell them I'm proud of them, and they'll even ask, like, what are you proud of me for? Like, you know, and it's. It's. And I tell them what they did. Like, little things over the course of the day.

[Ashley Graham]

It all adds up, doesn't it?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I think we have this incredible responsibility and opportunity to just create incredible change.

[Ashley Graham]

The next generation.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes.

[Ashley Graham]

Here we go. The next generation.

[Dylan Dreyer]

This is us.

[Ashley Graham]

It's us. And all of you, thank you so

[Dylan Dreyer]

much for joining us. It's so great to have you.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes. I really appreciate it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yay. There is something so refreshing about just talking to another boy mom. Commiserating in some spots, but also that awe factor. I think mean boys are so amazing, and it's just so much fun. I don't even know if I would know what to do with a girl. So, you know, hopefully you picked up something from this episode today. What it's like to just embrace the chaos. How every time I talk to a boy mom, it seems like we're all sort of in the same boat. Yes, we're exhausted. Yes, we're always cleaning up. But it is so rewarding and just so, so special. So it was really, really, just really sweet to talk to Ashley about what it's like being a boy mom. So whether you're a mom of boys, or just a mom in general, or you just want to comment? I'd love to hear what you have to say to get in on this conversation, so be sure to comment below or on Instagram. DMS Today Parents or Ylan Dreyer, NBC. And be sure to subscribe and tune in next time. We'll see you then. Bye. Bye. This episode was produced by Ann lagamayo with video video production by Andy Tavares and audio production by Matt Tierney. Rachel. Paula Abramson is our parenting reporter. Our senior producer is Tyree Nobles. Amanda Sidman is our booking producer. It was edited by Ali Strain. Our audio engineer is Joe Plord. Our head of audio production is Jessica Fenton. Ashley Damagola is our production manager. Sadie Bass is our supervising producer. Ariana Davis is the executive editor of the Today Today Show. And Ashley Kodiani is the vice president of content strategy. I'm Dylan Dreyer, and this has been the Parent Chat, a production of the Today Show. See you next week.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Ashley Graham]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson (Doug)]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Ashley Graham]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.