Ashley Graham: Raising Men Their Partners Will Thank Her For (April 2026)

Summary

The Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer

Episode: Ashley Graham: Raising Men Their Partners Will Thank Her For

Date: July 16, 2026
Podcast: The Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer
Host: Dylan Dreyer
Guest: Ashley Graham

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Overview

In this lively, heartfelt episode, Dylan Dreyer welcomes supermodel, entrepreneur, and fellow “boy mom” Ashley Graham to exchange honest, unfiltered stories about the chaos, challenges, and joys of raising boys. Tapping into their shared experiences as mothers of three sons, Dylan and Ashley dive into practical parenting advice, emotional intelligence, family dynamics, and the universal wish to raise good men. Listeners are treated to a range of relatable topics—from wrangling messy bathrooms, navigating sibling dynamics, teaching life skills, and embracing the beautiful chaos of boyhood.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Chaos: Parenting Boys in Action

• Dylan opens with a personal story about her boys using cardboard and duct tape to sled down stairs—a snapshot of everyday boy energy and household chaos.
  • [01:08] Dylan Dreyer: "Don't ask me. I am over here just, like, winging it...throw it on the wall. Oh, that one works."
• This anecdote sets the tone: parenting boys is wild, unpredictable, and very much a team effort.

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2. Badassery and Relating as "Boy Moms"

• Immediate mutual recognition—Ashley and Dylan both acknowledge the unique world of raising three boys, a reality neither sees mirrored often in their circles.
  • [04:02] Dylan Dreyer: "Don't you feel pretty badass having three boys?"
  • [04:04] Ashley Graham: "Yes, I do. I feel like I'm going to have my own security guards pretty soon…The hair blow moment—that moment's coming.”

Training Boys for the Future

• Both moms consciously teach their sons life skills (manners, cooking, laundry) with the specific goal of raising men who are helpful, respectful, and ultimately, great partners.
  • [04:23] Ashley Graham: "My biggest goal is…I want their wives to come to me and say, 'Thank you.' So that's like a North Star for me."
  • [05:52] Dylan Dreyer on toilet training: "Because it's unacceptable that if there's ever a moment, I'm going to sit on the toilet and sit in their pee. It's just disgusting."

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3. Household Dynamics and Birth Order

• Discussion about how birth order naturally influences roles—even with twins, as Ashley reveals they haven’t told her twins who’s older, yet their behaviors give it away.
  • [07:11] Ashley Graham: "There is a full 2 hours and 7 minutes in between them...but at the end of the day, they are acting in their birth order. It is wild."
• Both admit the oldest often bears more responsibility—sometimes unfairly.
  • [06:40] Dylan Dreyer: "Calvin, you're the older brother. Just give it to him..."
  • [06:55] Ashley Graham: "I say, you're the oldest. You know, you're the more responsible one..."

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4. Embracing Boy Energy and the Desire for Daughters

• Both hosts love the unique energy boys bring (“wrestling,” “throwing down,” knowledge of dinosaurs), but also acknowledge missing out on the prospect of raising girls.
  • [10:09] Ashley Graham: "When I'm home, I'm like, crocs, hair not brushed, no makeup... and the boys are like, 'Let's wrestle.'"
  • [11:06] Ashley Graham admits wanting a girl, but she’s grateful for her family as it is, pouring creative energy into her wine business as her "baby girl.”

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5. Chaos Management and Accepting Mess

• The hosts agree: chaos is normal. Noise is a good sign—silence means trouble.
  • [13:35] Ashley Graham: "As long as...there's no blood and bones, I'm totally fine. I don't hear it..."
• Injuries, arguments, and physical play are regular; both encourage working things out independently, with basic rules (“no head shots”).
  • [15:07] Ashley Graham: "I'm like, guys, you have to go work it out. I'm not dealing with this. No head shots!"

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6. Emotional Intelligence and Expression

• The conversation turns serious: raising boys to be emotionally articulate and resilient.
  • [16:18] Dylan Dreyer: "With mental health being so top of mind, I work every day to talk through their emotions...tell me what you're feeling."
  • [16:34] Ashley Graham: "My husband...is a man that's totally, like, into talking about his feelings and his emotions...he'll sit down with them until one of the boys really, like, expresses themselves..."
• Both mothers note the challenge: eldest son is emotionally open; younger ones have bigger tempers and require more patience.

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7. Self-Care and Parental Guilt

• Honesty about breakdowns and the myth of “balance” in parenting.
  • [21:00] Dylan Dreyer: "I just wanted to know if you did too."
  • [21:12] Ashley Graham: "Sometimes I am sad because I'm like, did I put too much on my plate?...the word balance really doesn't exist. It's more about consistency in the things that matter most and the order of things."

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8. Family Bonding, Sibling Dynamics, & Individual Time

• Ashley discusses the importance of individual time with each child, especially to foster father-son bonds.

  • [23:17] Ashley Graham: "We've been trying to...take the one kid out just for a date..."

• Recognizes the volatile yet loving sibling dynamics, especially with twins and the “odd man out” feeling that can arise with three children.

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9. Rapid-Fire "This or That" Parenting Game (24:29—28:20)

• Light-hearted segment covering:
  • Who gets out the door fastest (mom!)
  • Teaching shoe-tying (slide-ons and Velcro all the way)
  • Snack and food habits (“hangry” boys, healthy snacks, potato chips as a guilty pleasure)
  • Mess and morning moodiness (moms are the morning people, dads—not so much)
  • Kids’ dramatics at bedtime ("my legs don't work" syndrome)
  • Pet peeves like toothpaste mess and kitchen disasters.
  • Memorable Quotes:
    • [27:11] Ashley: "Please carry me. They all say that, right?"
    • [27:58] Dylan: "All bathroom stuff with the kids is just disgusting to me."

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10. Defining Parenting “Wins” and Looking Ahead

• Ashley values low-key, meaningful birthday celebrations and creating memories over material things.
  • [28:20] Ashley Graham: "I think for me, it's the birthdays. I just had Isaac make his own birthday cake...not overly celebrating, but just doing something fun as a family."
• Aspirations for raising good men:
  • [29:09] Ashley Graham: "I wanna raise men who are kind, who love themselves, but also know how to love others just as much...biggest thing in our house is kindness."
  • [30:34] Dylan Dreyer: "I have these three incredible boys and I can make them into three incredible men if I do it right."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ashley Graham [04:23]: "I want their wives to come to me and say, 'Thank you.' So that's like a North Star for me."
• Dylan Dreyer [21:00]: "I just wanted to know if you did too." (On having emotional breakdowns in private)
• Ashley Graham [18:37]: "Don't ask me. I am over here just, like winging it. I'm like, there's the spaghetti. Throw it on the wall. Oh, that one works."
• Dylan Dreyer [29:54]: "Calvin just won a kindness award at school and I was so proud. It was like, better than any grade he could have gotten on a test."
• Ashley Graham [30:40]: "To change the next generation."
• Dylan Dreyer [30:45]: "This is us. Yes."

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:08] – Opening chaos and “winging it” approach
• [03:48] – Dylan and Ashley bond over having three boys
• [04:23] – Raising boys for future partners; manners & life skills
• [06:33] – Oldest child dynamics and responsibility
• [07:07] – Ashley’s twins and birth order
• [10:09] – Boy energy vs. desire for girls
• [13:35] – Embracing (and tuning out) chaos
• [15:07] – Handling injuries, physical play, emotional resilience
• [16:18] – Raising emotionally intelligent boys
• [21:00] – Honest talk about breakdowns and balance
• [23:17] – One-on-one time with kids; father-son dynamic
• [24:29] – "This or That" rapid-fire parenting questions
• [28:20] – Parenting wins and simple celebrations
• [29:09] – Aspirations for the kind of men they want to raise

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Tone and Language

The conversation is candid, warm, humorous, and peppered with real-life anecdotes parents will instantly relate to. Both Dylan and Ashley speak with vulnerability and assurance, modeling how even public figures “don’t have it all figured out”—but are committed to growing and supporting their kids (and each other).

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Takeaways

• Embrace the mess: Parenting is chaotic, especially with boys—accept and even celebrate it.
• Raise future partners: Manners, empathy, independence, and kindness matter more than perfection.
• Talk about feelings: Emotional literacy is essential, especially with boys.
• Self-care is complicated: Parental guilt is universal, “balance” may not exist—but “consistency in what matters” does.
• You’re not alone: The conversation feels like a reassuring group text with friends who get it.

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For listeners (and non-listeners alike), this episode offers not just laughs and commiseration, but actionable wisdom and a strong sense of community for parents navigating the beautiful chaos of raising boys.

Transcript

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[Ashley Graham]

Don't ask me. I am over here just, like, winging it. I'm like, there's the spaghetti. Throw it on the wall. Oh, that one works.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Thank God. Hi, everyone. I'm Dylan Dreyer, and you might recognize me from the third hour of today. I'm also a mom to three boys, Calvin, Ollie, and Rusty. Calvin's my oldest. He's nine.

[Child Voices]

Do it here, Hollywood.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Ollie's my middle one. He's six.

[Child Voices]

Ollie.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And then there's Rusty.

[Child Voices]

You said a piece of money.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Rusty's four, and Rusty's the youngest child. And he honestly doesn't give a crap about anything I say. So since we can all commiserate when it comes to parenting, I thought this show was the perfect way to open up the dialog, bring in some professionals who know what they're doing, and also to bring in some guests who, like myself, don't always know what we're doing. But we're trying, we're commiserating. We're trying to figure it all out together. I thought this would be the perfect way to have a nice group chat, or rather a parent chat. So I want to start each episode by welcoming you into my home, the chaos of my house. So I walk into this happening. The boys have taken a a long piece of cardboard. They've duct taped it to the top of the stairs.

[Child Voices]

This is a bobsled buddy.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Now, these are steep stairs. This is like the steepest stairs in our house. And it's duct taped to the top of the stairs.

[Child Voices]

Duct tape is actually very strong.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And they are proceeding to slide down the stairs on this piece of cardboard. Ollie actually gets hit in the head by a couple of cans of dog food on his way down as he knocks those off the shelf behind him.

[Child Voices]

That was so fun.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Now, in a normal situation, if it was just the three boys doing this, I might be a little terrified of what they're doing. All right, let's go. I'm running this video, but the person recording the video is my mom, the one who's supposed to be watching the kids. Like, I think she gave them the supplies to actually do this. I mean, that's got to be all right, right? And it was all fun and games until Rusty goes down. You know, eventually he ends in tears. But I mean, how else do you learn your lesson? Oh, and that's what today's episode is all about. Just parenting boys. And I am so excited to chat with my next guest about that. Ashley Graham is a model. She's an entrepreneur, and we can relate because she's also a mom to three boys. She's got Isaac, who's 6, and Roman and Malachi twins, who are 4. And we're going to get into what it's like raising boys. Here's our conversation. Hi, Ashley.

[Ashley Graham]

Hi.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Thank you so much for talking boy mom stuff because it's so nice to relate to another boy mom. You have three.

[Ashley Graham]

Three, and you have three.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And I have three.

[Ashley Graham]

And I don't meet many people that have three boys living in their house.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Don't you feel pretty badass having three boys?

[Ashley Graham]

Yes, I do. I feel like I have, like, I'm going to have, like, my own security guards pretty soon. And then, like, I walk through, like, the queen. There's like a hair blow moment that that moment's coming. I need to train them. I mean, I need to start working now.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I am training them to be the perfect men.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Like, do you notice? Do you think about that?

[Ashley Graham]

So we are working on manners and like, opening the door for mom or grandma or like, you know, making sure people that are older than you are going ahead or whatever. But then my biggest goal is one that I did was I said thank you to my mother in law. It was like totally, like out of nowhere. And I was just like, thank you for making an amazing man that is my husband. And I thought, oh, my God, that's what I want. Like, I want their wives to come to me and say, say thank You?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

So that's like a North Star for me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I'm teaching my boys to cook. My oldest loves to cook. I trying to work in more laundry. At least separating the laundry.

[Ashley Graham]

They are doing some of the laundry with us too, which is so fun.

[Child Voices]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

How like, what's your toilet situation looking like? Because mine has dry pee all over it. We're still there.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So with my first, who's much better at it than the other two, I make him wipe the seat if he pees on it. Because now my youngest, he'll take like one little square of two ply toilet paper and like just dab it up. And she's like, how did you get them to wipe the seat? I'm like, because it's unacceptable that if there's ever a moment, I'm going to sit on the toilet and sit in their pee. It's just disgusting.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes. I. So I'm the mom that, like, if the toilet seat is up and I know there's somewhere playing, I will go and I will say, who did it? Fess up. Right now I'm like, come with me. And I make them march all the way back to the bathroom and put the seat down, wash your hands and say, don't do it again. So I'm a little. I'm not really the militant one. I try to be. But with the toilet, for some reason, it's like a thing.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Well, because it's gross. And you're the woman living in a house with boys and it's not fair everywhere. Right. It's not fair, like, how gross they can be. And I do the same thing with their clothes. I'm always like, calvin. And he knows that that's the one where you need to come right now because you took off your clothes and you just left them there. At least put them in the laundry basket. Like, I'm trying to work these little lessons in so that they are just better, cleaner human beings in the future.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes. Ours, they know to put everything in the washing machine, close the door.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And it's funny because kids actually really like to help. You know, especially with boys. It's EAS as a mom to step in. But I think you. They'll do more than you think they'll do.

[Ashley Graham]

Your oldest is nine.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes.

[Ashley Graham]

And how are you treating him differently than like your baby?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Well, Calvin certainly has to take the blame for everything.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I'm very much like Calvin. You're the older brother. Like, just give it. Just give it to him. Right? Just. Just do it. Just give it to him.

[Ashley Graham]

I feel bad for Isaac because that happens to him all the time. Okay. I'm glad you said that.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know. It's just that's. And I'll actually say to him, you're the oldest, so that's just your lot in life.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah. I say, you're the oldest. You know, you're the more responsible one. It's only two years. He's only six.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know, but still. So how does it work with twins? Do you find that they kind of go in their birth order?

[Ashley Graham]

Well, okay, so we haven't told them who was born first.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Okay.

[Ashley Graham]

And there is a full 2 hours and 7 minutes in between them. I know. So I'm really trying to not tell them. But here's the thing. At the end of the day, they are acting in their birth order. And it's. It is wild to me how it just happened.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right. They're raised in the same house at the same time.

[Ashley Graham]

My baby acts like a baby.

[Dylan Dreyer]

The.

[Ashley Graham]

The first twin acts like the oldest. And he's very like, you're gonna do what I say when I say it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

And the oldest, he. He is like, I am the oldest brother, and I am the leader. And he wants to help, and he wants to help fix things, but he also wants to, you know, stir the pot a bit, too.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, my God. The pot. Stirring from the oldest, the most responsible. We were at dinner last night, and they're big into, like, jinxes right now. Like, if you say this, like, say the same word at the same time, it's like, jinx. Jinx. But then they can't talk until somebody says their name three times. And when Calvin gets jinxed, I'm like, nobody say Calvin's name. Like, you can't, because he's the instigator. He's the one that eggs everybody else on. Cause he's not gonna do the bad thing, but he's gonna let everybody else do the bad thing.

[Ashley Graham]

So I'm the oldest. I was always, like, a little bit of the potter, too. My mom would remind me of this now, raising Isaac. And she's like, that's you. You would do that. And it's like, there's no solve.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right.

[Ashley Graham]

In my opinion. I mean, maybe there's help. Help. If there's a solve, tell me. I don't think there is, but it doesn't feel like there is. I mean, here we are a whole other generation later. My mom's like, that'.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And it just happens so naturally.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

[Dylan Dreyer]

We'll be right back.

[Commercial Narrator]

Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national red tag sales event going on right now through Sunday, August 2nd. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select red tag homes at Incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton Difference at Dr. Horton America's Builder and equal housing opportunity builder.

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[Ashley Graham]

Let's check in on the certa.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Counting sheep.

[Child Voices]

Why aren't we counting anymore?

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[Child Voices]

We'll never get counted again.

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[Dylan Dreyer]

What do you love about being a boy?

[Ashley Graham]

Mom, I love that it's just like a different energy. I'm, I. Because of my job, it is like I'm always getting dressed up. I'm always in hair and makeup. I'm always like, you know, trying on clothes and being, you know, quote unquote girly.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right.

[Ashley Graham]

And then when I'm home, I'm like, crocs. Hair is not brushed, like, no makeup, like, lucky I have a bra. And the boys are like, let's wrestle. And there is, is this like boy energy in me where, like, I will throw down and I will get sweaty and it's time to go. And I never knew this much more about dinosaurs. I never.

[Dylan Dreyer]

There's a whole world of stuff that I never knew I would know all these things about.

[Ashley Graham]

Interesting.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

But we do do like tea time. It's not as formal as like, maybe when I was a little girl, but like, we'll put stuffed animals around and we'll like go into a circle and have conversations. Yeah. And we're all sipping a coffee and we're coffee. And we're like, so what did you learn today? You know, it's like, it's kind of like tea. So I was a girl.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Did you ever want a girl?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, my gosh. When they told me it was two boys in there, I was like, my husband's not going to let me have a fourth one. I just know.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Would you want a fourth?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah. I would have four and five.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I wish I started younger because I would love to have just a whole brood of kids.

[Ashley Graham]

Right.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I love being a mom.

[Ashley Graham]

Wait, how old were you when you had your last?

[Dylan Dreyer]

When I had my last. So I'm 44 and he's 4. So I guess 40.

[Ashley Graham]

Okay. 40.

[Dylan Dreyer]

41.

[Ashley Graham]

I told Justin I wanted to be done at 35 because I just know. I talked to my friends in their 40s, and they're like, I'm tired.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Tired.

[Ashley Graham]

And I know how I feel now at 38, just with three little dudes. So I told Justin I want to have three kids. I don't want a middle child, and I want to be done at 35. And guess what? God gave me exactly what I wanted.

[Dylan Dreyer]

That actually really works.

[Ashley Graham]

So I'm at this place where I'm like, okay, be grateful for what you asked for because you've been given it. Don't, like, go and chance it or, like, you know, go be exhausted because you really just wanted your girl. So I'm happy. Like, I just launched a wine brand. That's my baby girl. Hey, baby girl.

[Simplisafe Voice]

I know.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Let's go. Put all your love into that.

[Ashley Graham]

Exactly.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And it doesn't annoy you?

[Ashley Graham]

No, exactly. She don't talk back.

[Dylan Dreyer]

My therapist actually just said this to me the other day because I was just like, you know, I feel like I'm at a point right now where I don't know what the next thing is. Like, the next thing they get excited about and blah, blah, blah. She's like, yes, but think of all the things you prayed for and the things you wanted, and you're in that right now. Like, sometimes it's important to step back and just appreciate all the prayers that were answered before you're thinking, what's next? What's next? What's next?

[Ashley Graham]

It's a great life lesson. Something that my mom always reminds me of, too. She's like, just be happy with what you have. You know, you are a hustler, and you always will be a hustler. But at the end of the day, you can also be a settled hustler and just know that your next move doesn't have to be right now. It can be coming. I know moms, they're wise.

[Dylan Dreyer]

They are.

[Ashley Graham]

I'm just hoping I'll be like that for My voice.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You will. I'm sure you already are. I'm curious because I have friends who have girls, and actually, they were over the other day, and she has two girls and a boy. And my kids are just like circles.

[Simplisafe Advertiser]

Circles.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Chasing each other, chasing each other. As long as nobody's crying, I'm fine. Like, I don't mind. No chaos. Yes. It really doesn't bother me when they're running or screaming or I can actually tune it out. And she's like, is this what your house is like? All the time? I'm like, all the time. And she's like, I just never cause her son because he only has two older sisters, he's pretty calm. Just like, chill legos, you know? Just like, very chill. And then eventually he got fired up when he was with my boys. But, I mean, how do you embrace the chaos?

[Ashley Graham]

I am like, you. I don't hear it. Yeah, it's so interesting. As long as, like, the kitchen is put together and there's no blood and bones, I'm totally fine. I don't hear it. It's almost like I don't see it. And my husband gets a little bit overwhelmed. Unless if he's involved. Unless if he's the one, like, creating the chaos. But the other girls that we had over, like, I have a special drawer of, like, dolls and, like, dress up things for them just in case. They're like, why did you bring me here, mother? Like, why? This is not the play date I was expecting.

[Dylan Dreyer]

These are just sword fights and balls being thrown.

[Ashley Graham]

But it's just how you can tune it out. Especially when. See, for me, when I don't hear the noise, I'm like, something's wrong. They're doing something illegal, and I need to go check on them right away so that I actually would rather noise.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right. How do you handle injuries and stuff? Like, because I hit a point sometimes where I'm like, okay, they're running, they're running, they're running. I'm like, I'll step in for a second. Just, guys, just to remind you, if this continues, one of you will get hurt. And I'm not gonna care when you get hurt, right? Because then they. They do get hurt. They come over, they're crying, and they won't stop crying. And one guy will, like, cry till he pukes, and it's just like, all right, like, stop.

[Ashley Graham]

Is that a thing?

[Dylan Dreyer]

He just gets so, like. And then he just works up like, he gags, and it's just like. It's. It's just gross. I'm always trying to prevent the tears from lasting for too long. Cause it's just.

[Ashley Graham]

I haven't heard this.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I'm not in the mood for it.

[Child Voices]

Right.

[Ashley Graham]

Holy cow.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So, like, how do you go vomit in private? I'm like, are you gonna throw up?

[Ashley Graham]

I think so.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Okay, just go to the bathroom. Like, just go.

[Ashley Graham]

That's hilarious.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's a hole.

[Ashley Graham]

I don't think that you're doing anything wrong, because I feel like I'm doing the same thing. I'm like, you need to go work it out. If they come over. Oh, Malachi hit me. Roman bit me. Well, first of all, Roman has six missing teeth, so it didn't hurt that bad. And thirdly, I'm like. I'm like, guys, you have to go work it out. I'm not dealing with this. The only thing I say to them is, no head shots. We will let them box. Like, they'll even put gloves on and box. It's a thing. But I'm like, as long as it's only body shots and no head shots, nobody will get in trouble. Now if you do a headshot, you're gonna go into a timeout, and then the timeouts have levels to it. There's no room for babying. Especially these little boys that we want to, like, raise into, like, exceptional men. I'll be there for them always, but I'm not gonna be like, oh, the baby would. Yeah, I'll be funny, and I'll do that.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right.

[Ashley Graham]

Pin him down and tickle him.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Like, you get beat up by your little brother.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I do find that boys are more emotional than I ever thought they would be.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, highly.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And, like, they love me.

[Ashley Graham]

Do they want to crawl back inside of you?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes, exactly the way they. Sometimes I need to, like, detach them from me because they're just so much touching. It's like, I need you to get off of me.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes.

[Dylan Dreyer]

But. But they have such a soft spot in their hearts. And I. With mental health being such, you know, so top of mind. I work every day to talk through their emotions, but not in like a. Like a frou frou kind of way. It's more just like, get it out. Like, tell me what you're feeling. How do you handle their emotions?

[Ashley Graham]

We are very much like that. My husband is exceptional with them, and he is a man that's totally, like, into talking about his feelings and his emotions, but also doing it in a very matter of fact way. Like, this is how I'm feeling. This is what I'm Going through and I need a minute or we're gonna talk about this. And he does that really well with the boys. And he's like, no, I want you to tell me how you feel. And he'll sit down with them until one of the boys really, like, expresses themselves and is learning how to get it out. Because I think that's another thing that we're not teaching kids is, like, how to do it. We just expect them, like, to say what they're feeling. Maybe they don't know how to do that. So I've. I've been learning from Justin, like, how just talk to the kids about their emotions and stuff. Because I come from a family where we take the rug and we brush it under and we keep it moving. And I am not doing that in my family because it. It really breeds, like, resentment and issues, and it can show up in your body in weird ways. And we have had long conversations about how we do not want that in our family.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, it is different. Like, we always just. If you're mad at somebody, just don't talk to them for a couple weeks.

[Ashley Graham]

And how healthy that. Not healthy at all. And now look at everybody's family, right?

[Dylan Dreyer]

I was spoiled with Calvin because my oldest, he's very good at expressing, you know, his emotions. He wants to talk. He'll be like, can I walk the dog with you? So we can just talk. Like, he's very in tune with how he's feeling. And the other two really can't put into work words the way they're feeling. And I'm. I'm. I'm working through this right now because my youngest has a temper, like. Like a throw things temper, kick somebody in the shin kind of temper. And I'm trying this. Like, I sit down with him. I'm like, are you sad or are you mad? And then he'll answer, and I'm like, are you mad at someone or something? And then he kind of goes off on a tangent. He's like, mad that there's a mess in the kitchen or something. But, like, I'm like, okay, well, that's probably not it, but let's talk about, you know. And so I do struggle with. I was so spoiled with Calvin, like, trying to get the emotions out of the other two. And I wonder if I'm, you know, because he's the youngest, I'm not giving him the attention he needs or the middle child he's not getting, you know, So I. I don't know. Like, I don't know how to manage the different personalities.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, don't ask me. I am over here just, like winging it. I'm like, there's the spaghetti. Throw it on the wall. Oh, that one works.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Thank God.

[Ashley Graham]

I lean on my husband so much. But there is nothing that I can't do without praying through it. Because if I, like, have an unsubt in my spirit about that, I'm like, we're going to pray. What a blessing to be able to see your kids. Then start praying. Oh, it gets me so emotional because,

[Dylan Dreyer]

you know, they have someone holding their hand.

[Ashley Graham]

Exactly.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Stay with us. We'll be right back after the break.

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[Ashley Graham]

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[Dylan Dreyer]

How at the end of the day?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, I have like many breakdowns.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I just wanted to know if you did too.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah. I'm like in the hot bath just crying because it's like this feels like the time to cry is right now.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right? Just to get it out. Not because I'm sad, but just to get it out.

[Ashley Graham]

And sometimes I am sad because I'm like, did I put too much on my plate? You know, because my mom told me when I was thinking about having number four, she was like, somebody always feels like they're left behind. And I never want a kid to feel left behind, really. And I think no parent really, like, wants that for their kids. So then I'm thinking about that, and I want to be an amazing wife and I want to show up for my business partners, I want to show up for my team. You want to do it all. Exactly. And it's like, how can you? And you really. I mean, for me, the word balance really doesn't exist. It's more about consistency in the things that matter most and like the order of things.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right. The order of things I do because everybody talks about self care. And yes, I would love to care for myself a little bit more, but I also feel like I'm in this point in my life where, like, this is the phase I'm in. Like, I'm in a phase right now where life is crazy and dinner time is crazy and like, just all day I'm always thinking what I need to do for the kids that I don't have a lot of time to do. Like, I'll find it every once in a while. You know, I'll exercise or I'll try to get a massage or something or meet up with a friend, but it doesn't happen a lot.

[Child Voices]

Yep.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Because I think that's just the point in my life that I'm at.

[Ashley Graham]

You have three kids?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, like, my oldest is nine already. Like, he's just like flying through school and flying through sports, and now he's starting to want to have play dates over his friend's house. And I'm like, wait, you don't just want to be here with me.

[Ashley Graham]

It's still called a play date at 9.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I still call it a play date.

[Ashley Graham]

I know. I was like, or is it like, I want to hang out with my friend Mom?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, it's. It's getting there. It's. It's close to that. But they're drop off play dates now, you know, and it's like. So he actually said. Which makes me feel good because he said to me yesterday he had a play date, like one day and then the next day I was busy doing things. And then he's like, I just feel like I haven't seen you. I'm like, buddy, it's been like a day and a half. He's Like. But we haven't spent any time together. I said, well, you were at a playdate, and now I'm busy today, and yada, yada.

[Simplisafe Voice]

And now.

[Ashley Graham]

And then what do you do? Like, it's not like you can take

[Dylan Dreyer]

off work and be like, hang out.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So I just give him a hug, and I'm like, please, always love me like this. Like, always want to be with me. Like, I'm so scared of that I know day where they choose their friends over us.

[Ashley Graham]

So my husband and I have been trying to do these, like, take the one kid out just for a date or a coffee or whatever, and it's very difficult, but he. Justin has been doing it. Cause I think there's. There's something really special about, like, a son and father relationship that's important. Of course, the son and mother is also just as important, but there's just, like, that bond. I can see that that's, like, blossoming so tightly between the three of them and their dad.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's so important because we give off different energies.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

How do your boys get with each other, do you find?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, they fight like cats and dogs, and then they're, like, obsessed with each other, and they're like, do they all love each other?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Do you see them branching off? Like, especially the twins.

[Ashley Graham]

It's a little bit of everything. It's like, it just kind of depends on what project they're working on or where they're playing. I have one that's, like, really an outside boy, and he just. But he wants somebody to be outside with him.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You know, I do notice sometimes, I guess, just the dynamics of three. I mean, I grew up with two older brothers, so I saw it too.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, you're the baby.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I'm the baby.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, wow.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So I have two brothers, but there was always that. I love the dynamic of three.

[Ashley Graham]

I'm the oldest of three girls.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, okay. And so I was in a totally

[Ashley Graham]

different major leader vibes.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah. I was like, it's my way or the highway.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So we want to do a little game. Okay. So we've got paddles here. Okay, kids.

[Ashley Graham]

Okay.

[Child Voices]

Who's.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, they're for me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yes, they're for you. Okay, so I'm gonna. Let's see. And then so it's like, mom first. Kids, you can choose which one who gets out the door faster about mom. Really?

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

Come on.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Why can't boys, like, put their shoes on?

[Ashley Graham]

I just do slide ons.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I know.

[Ashley Graham]

Me too. I'm still at that. Oh, you do Even with your 9 year old? Yeah. Cause it's like a thing, just faster. And I think it might be a male genetic thing, but I think we're also.

[Dylan Dreyer]

We're like go getters. Like, I feel like, like I've got every moment of my day sort of planned out.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

My personality. I know what time before. Yes. My clothes are laid out the night before. Like I've got. From the second I wake up to the second I leave every morning, it is exactly 20 minutes. It's never before or after. It's like clockwork. Yes. I plug my coffee in at the same time every morning. Like it's all just ready to go.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, I hear you.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. But going back to the shoe thing, I should put more effort in teaching, especially my 9 year old how to tie shoes. He's okay at it.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, he'll learn eventually.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right? But Velcro. Did Velcro not exist when we were kids? I feel like we were tying shoes when we were little. Like, my mom was never tying my shoe.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, we've failed.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I do feel like I. I just don't feel like doing it.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Who needs more SN snacks to survive the day?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, the kids.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So many snacks.

[Child Voices]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

I mean, I could, I can fast for like a week. I'm fine.

[Simplisafe Voice]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

I mean, not really. I usually just take whatever. That's totally a lie. I can maybe give myself six hours.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I'm usually just snacking on their snacks, like when they're not looking because they will get.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, but my boys get hangry. Yeah. And they know. They're like, mom, I'm hangry.

[Dylan Dreyer]

What are their go to snacks?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, it's a mosh posh. It's like a beef jerky. A fruit pirate's booty, you know? Yeah, chickpeas.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, they eat good stuff.

[Ashley Graham]

Really well. We just don't buy junk.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, you buy. I know. Well, I buy. Like there's always potato chips. There's always potato chips. I've. I have a weakness for potato chips. So there's always potato chips. Who wakes up in a better mood, you or the kids?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, oh, it's always me. I'm a morning person.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Me too.

[Ashley Graham]

I was like born for the morning.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes. The kids actually aren't rude in the morning or any. They're, they're happy. It's my husband. He's not a morning person.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's like dad still sleeping out of the room. Yeah. That's nice that they're thinking about that. Who's more dramatic when they're Tired.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, the kids.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So dramatic. Oh, God. I let them watch TV before bed, like after their showers. And they kind of watch TV and they're kind of perky and right. And they're happy. And a second, I say, okay, TV off, we're going to bed. My legs don't work. I need you to carry me.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, yeah, that's it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Please carry me.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah, please carry me. They all say that, right? Oh, my God.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Can you carry me?

[Ashley Graham]

Up until recently, I could carry all three of them up the steps.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, wow.

[Ashley Graham]

I know. And I was like, tell me how strong I am, guys.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Got one of them.

[Child Voices]

You're so strong.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I'm like, although, once you get to the top, like four steps, that's it. Your legs don't work. Your legs don't work. Yeah. Who's messier, your sons or you?

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, my kids.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

What about you? Cuz it sounds like you're a little

[Dylan Dreyer]

messy, but I'm a little messy. My kids are actually good at putting toys away.

[Ashley Graham]

Oh, that's good. Mine are too.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah.

[Ashley Graham]

But mine are like, there's, like, sausages on the floor at breakfast or maybe like, eggs smeared across, like the counter.

[Dylan Dreyer]

The toothpaste thing is disgusting.

[Ashley Graham]

There needs to be a new toothpaste invented for how it comes out of the tube.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So do you ever vented?

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And like, the push thing, it's nice and neat.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It doesn't exist anymore. I've tried to find it.

[Ashley Graham]

It's awful. And it dries all on the top.

[Simplisafe Voice]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

All bathroom stuff with the kids is just disgusting to me. You could look back at something you could think of recently. A parenting win. Something where you said, you know what? I've got this.

[Ashley Graham]

I think for me, it's the birthdays. I feel like I'm winning because we're not overdoing it. I just had Isaac make his own birthday cake. And there's just something, like, so pure and precious about that. And also not. Not overly celebrating, but also doing something fun as a family for the birthday.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So it's not just about toys and presents and games.

[Ashley Graham]

It's about an experience, and it's about being together, and it's about you being celebrated, but not doing the whole, like, hoopla of, like, what we see on social media with these birthdays. So I think that that's been a big parenting win for me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So finally, you know, it's looking into the future. Right? Like, not that we want time to fly by, because I know it's sad. I'm embracing the chaos. I Love the craziness of it all. But. But, like, what kind of men do you wanna raise and what are you doing to make that happen?

[Ashley Graham]

I wanna raise men who are kind, who love themselves, but also know how to love others just as much, if not more. And I mean that for, like, their business, for their family, for, you know, walking down the street. And for us, like, our biggest thing in our house is kindness. And, you know, the bullies at school, like, how do we treat the bullies at school? We are still kind to them. And I think that that' our house right now is just making sure that everything's led with kindness and being in a world that we're in today. I think that, like, raising kind men is incredibly important, but also, like emotionally intelligent men who. Who know how to express themselves and also have confidence in themselves too.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I love that.

[Ashley Graham]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Calvin just won a kindness award at school and I was so proud. It was like, better than any grade he could have gotten on a test. It was just like a kindness. And, you know, being in this business and telling stories, you know, I'm a meteorologist, so I'm a woman in STEM and science and all that kind of stuff. And I, I'm big into girl power and you know, just like. But at the same time, I feel such a responsibility. Like, I have these three incredible boys and I can make them into three incredible men if I do it right. And I focus every day to make sure I tell them I'm proud of them and they'll even ask, like, what are you proud of me for? Like, you know, and it's, it's. And I tell them what they did. Like, little things over the course of the.

[Ashley Graham]

All adds up, doesn't it?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. I think we have this incredible responsibility and opportunity to just create incredible.

[Ashley Graham]

To change the next generation.

[Simplisafe Advertiser]

Yes.

[Ashley Graham]

Here we go.

[Simplisafe Advertiser]

Right?

[Ashley Graham]

Changing the next generation.

[Dylan Dreyer]

This is us. Yes.

[Ashley Graham]

And all of you, thank you so

[Dylan Dreyer]

much for joining us. It's so great to have you.

[Ashley Graham]

Yes. I really appreciate it.

[Child Voices]

Yay.

[Dylan Dreyer]

There is something so refreshing about just talking to a another boy mom. Commiserating in some spots, but also that awe factor. I mean, boys are so amazing and it's just so much fun. I don't even know if I would know what to do with a girl. So, you know, hopefully you picked up something from this episode today. What it's like to just embrace the chaos. How every time I talk to a boy mom, it seems like we're all sort of in the same boat. Yes. We're exhausted. Yes. We're always cleaning up, but it is so rewarding and just so, so special. So it was really just really sweet to talk to Ashley about what it's like being a boy mom. So whether you're a mom of boys or just a mom in general, or you just want to comment, I'd love to hear what you have to say to get in on this conversation. So be sure to comment below or on Instagram DMS Today Parents or at Dylan Dryer, NBC. And be sure to subscribe and tune in next time. We'll see you then. Bye Bye. This episode was produced by Anne lagamayo with video production by Andy Tavares and audio production by Matt Tierney. Rachel Paula Abramson is our parenting reporter. Our senior producer is Tyre Nobles. Amanda Sidman is our booking producer. It was edited by Ali Straim. Our audio engineer is Joe Plord. Our head of audio production is Jessica Fenton. Ashley Damagola is our production manager. Sadie Bass is our supervising producer. Ariana Davis is the executive editor of the Today show and Ashley Kodiani is the vice president of content strategy. I'm Dylan Dreyer and this has been the Parent Chat, a production of the Today Show. See you next week.

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