Tig Notaro on Being the 'Not Favorite' Parent, Coming Out to Her Kids

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Parent Chat with Dylan Dreyer
Episode: Tig Notaro on Being the 'Not Favorite' Parent, Coming Out to Her Kids
Air Date: April 30, 2026
Host: Dylan Dreyer
Guest: Tig Notaro

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Episode Overview

In this warm and humorous episode, Dylan Dreyer welcomes comedian, actress, and mom Tig Notaro for an honest chat about parenting twin boys with her wife, Stephanie Allynne. The discussion covers what it’s like to (sometimes) not be the favorite parent, coming out to their sons, shifting discipline from rigidity to connection, parenting confessions, and celebrations of small (and big) wins in raising empathetic kids. Both women bring candor, laughter, and heart to the challenges and surprises of modern family life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Getting to Know Tig’s Family

• [03:06] Tig describes her twin boys: one is “so, so, so deeply obsessed with sports,” while the other is into “science and art,” plus joke writing—he’s even prepping standup for a talent show.
• [03:56] Dylan and Tig bond over the joy and strangeness of watching little boys rapidly become “men in the house.”
• Quote:
  “I feel like I’ve lived my whole adult life trying to avoid having men in my house. In the blink of an eye, I’m gonna have two large men walking around my house.” (Tig, 04:15)

The ‘Coming Out’ Conversation

• [04:44] Tig recounts how her sons realized she’s gay at age nine, despite growing up with two moms and wedding photos at home.
• The boys associated “two moms” and marriage with family, not specifically with “being gay.”
• Quote:
  “I’m the mayor of gay town. I invented it. So it was just really confusing.” (Tig, 05:18)
• Followed up awkwardly after a nudge from Ira Glass; the kids responded plainly, showing it was normal for them.

Meaning of Family

• [06:55] Dylan shares her own experience navigating divorce and asking her son about his definition of family:
  “It's a group of people that love each other.” (Dylan’s son, 07:01)
• Tig echoes the resilience and simplicity with her own boys:
  “We love our family. And it was just a really, really sweet moment.” (Tig, 07:50)

Being the ‘Not Favorite’ Parent & Shifting Connection

• [08:19] Tig jokes about not being the favorite—describing a moment in her standup when her kids announce “Mommy’s home!” only to deflate when they see it’s her, not Stephanie.
• [08:45] Since traveling less for work, Tig feels a deeper connection:
  “People would tell me, like, oh, yeah, it kind of ebbs and flows ... and I just thought, God, I want to—I want to get in on that a little deeper. So now my plan is to only tour one long weekend a month.” (Tig, 09:02)
• The importance of individual time with each child, especially for the “middle” child.

Family Jokes and Misunderstandings

• [11:00] Ongoing family joke after Tig misheard her sons say “when Mer is dead” (really: “when Mer is in bed”); now, “waiting till Mer is dead” is a dark running gag at home.

Changing Approaches to Discipline

• [14:24] Tig credits Stephanie with shifting her from a black-and-white mindset to a more flexible approach:
  “Stephanie’s way of parenting changed me a lot. ... What is more of the vibe of the house now is: When does your show wrap up? How many more minutes do you have? Then turn it off, and then it's bedtime.” (Tig, 14:25)
• The couple draws from their own upbringings and sees the value in picking their battles, giving kids small freedoms, and keeping communication open.

Learning from the Previous Generation

• Tig’s stepfather, once a disciplinarian, warmed to Tig and Stephanie’s parenting—validation that meant a lot to her.
• [21:38] Tig shares his wisdom:
  “I realize now that it is not the child's responsibility to teach the parent who they are. It's the parent's responsibility to learn who their child is.” (Tig’s stepfather, 21:37)
  — This insight shapes how Tig approaches parenting.

Parental Self-Doubt, Instinct, and ‘Zooming Out’

• Dylan and Tig both admit they felt unprepared—no baby books, just learning by doing.
• [22:49] Tig’s “zoom in and zoom out” parenting philosophy—being present and firm when required, but also not sweating smaller stuff.
• [23:47] They discuss the bittersweet shortness of childhood and the comfort children seek from parents.

Parenting Confessions

• [24:53] Tig admits she wishes she’d read more parenting books and might still—even mid-childhood.
• Both agree: there’s no single ‘correct’ way, and flexibility counts for a lot.

Spicy Parenting Takes

• [27:14] Tig’s boys are allowed to listen to unedited Eminem and Kendrick Lamar tracks—with careful conversations about language and context.
• Dylan relates with movie examples, including her four-year-old mimicking a near-cuss from “Top Gun: Maverick.”

Parenting Wins

• [28:35] Tig shares a proud moment: after giving the twins $20 for a field trip, one bought lunch for a person in need and the other tipped a guide $10 (half his money)—unexpected, independent acts of kindness.
  “Every Sunday we pack and deliver food to people in need, and we never told them… but that was the feedback of them out in the world.” (Tig, 29:42)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Coming out & family normalcy:
  “We realized just because they know that they have two moms and that they know that we're married, that doesn't equal gay in their head.” (Tig, 04:55)
• On not being the favorite:
  “Our son Finn looked back at me and then looked at his brother and said, ‘It’s just her.’” (Tig, 08:20)
• Wisdom from Tig’s stepfather:
  “It is not the child's responsibility to teach the parent who they are. It's the parent's responsibility to learn who their child is.” (Tig quoting, 21:38)
• On letting kids be themselves:
  “I look at my kids as gifts that I can’t wait to find out what’s in there.” (Tig, 22:16)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:06] - Introduction to Tig’s family and twin boys’ personalities
• [04:44] - The “coming out” chat at home
• [08:19] - Being the “not favorite” parent & shifting dynamics
• [11:00] - The “when Mer is dead” family joke
• [14:24] - Discipline styles: evolving to a gentler approach
• [21:38] - The parent’s responsibility to learn who their children are
• [22:49] - Zoom in vs. zoom out: knowing when to intervene or let go
• [24:53] - Parenting confessions
• [27:14] - Spicy parenting takes: explicit music & discussions on language
• [28:35] - Parenting win: Kids’ kindness with their own money

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Episode Tone

Relaxed, honest, self-deprecating, and full of empathy and humor—true to both Dylan’s and Tig’s personalities. The conversation balances laughter with poignant, heartfelt reflections on the realities and joys of parenting.

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Takeaways

• There’s no one ‘right’ parenting approach—connection, presence, and a willingness to evolve matter more than perfection.
• Sometimes the lessons parents model—not lecture—shine through in kids’ independent acts.
• Allowing kids to reveal who they are leads to authentic relationships and resilience throughout family change and growth.

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If you’re a parent looking for wisdom, sanity checks, or just another real story from the trenches, this episode with Tig Notaro delivers both the laughs and the feels.

Transcript

[Dylan Dreyer]

Neighborhood.

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[Tig Notaro]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Advertiser]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

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Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Tig Notaro]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

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[Tig Notaro]

They call me Mayor for mother. And I overheard Stephanie talking with my sons, and I thought they said, well, we can do that when Mayor is dead. I said, what? Do what when I'm dead? And they were like, no, when you go to bed, or whatever it was. And I was like, oh. I was like, I thought you guys were planning your lives after I die. What can you not do now?

[Dylan Dreyer]

And how soon is this happening?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And are you guys excited for this plan?

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, Olive. Hey, everyone. So at dinner time, I sometimes like to play this game because I think it's going to calm the boys down, but that doesn't always work.

[Tig Notaro]

S, 6, 7, 6, 7.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So you remember this game? It's the Alphabet game. You know, where you go around in order and you say what you're gonna bring to a picnic, and you start with A, and then you go to B. And you have to remember everything as we go along. You.

[Tig Notaro]

You need walking.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's a nice long game. I'll play it at the dinner table. When the boys are just so rambunctious. Sometimes I need to refocus them. Although then I realize in doing this game, it actually fires them up even more by the time we get to the end of it, it gets pretty silly. But it's fun. And we're laughing and we're doing it together. Yes. Vegetable lasagna.

[Tig Notaro]

Vegetable lasagna.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So I like to think I'm not an overly hovering type of mom. I kind of let my kids do their own thing, within reason. But that does lead me to introduce my next guest. We're so excited today to have Tig Notaro. She is a comedian, a writer, an actress, a producer. She and her wife, Stephanie Allen share twin boys. And we kind of conn because, I don't know, I think we're both chill boy moms. Here's our conversation. You have two twin boys, right?

[Tig Notaro]

I do.

[Dylan Dreyer]

What are your boys like? How would you describe each of them? Are they similar? Are they totally different?

[Tig Notaro]

One is so, so, so deeply obsessed with sports. And our other son is somewhere between science and art. He's also very into joke writing. He's going to do really. He's going to do stand up for the talent show, which was a, it was a surprise to hear, but not. He's very funny, so it's not surprising.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So I think 9 is such a fun age because I noticed with my 9 year old, he's become my friend. Like, there are little jokes that, you know, he's making me laugh, he's bringing things to my attention. And you can have real conversations that you could tell are actually registering now. It's not just me always talking.

[Tig Notaro]

They really get it. And they really ask questions about a joke and then when it's explained, they're like, oh, yeah. I am caught between daydreaming, like, oh, my gosh, what are these guys going to be? Who are these men? And in our house, like, who are you guys? I feel like I've lived my whole adult life trying to avoid having men in my house. In the blink of an eye, I'm gonna have two large men walking around my house.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right. So, yeah, to that point, I loved the clip on the Late show with Stephen Colbert.

[Tig Notaro]

And our son Finn leans forward and he said, you're gay.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You were talking that your 9 year olds actually realized or found out, however you want to put it, that you're gay.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. You know, if they thought they were shocked, we were shocked that they didn't. Yeah. Because there's pictures of us all around the house from our wedding day. And they tell everyone they have two moms. But we realized just because they know that they have two moms and that they know that we're married, that doesn't equal gay in their head. And that took us.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's just normal to them. That's what it is.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, gay must have come up. They also didn't know what gay was. And I, we were just stunned. We were like, I, I'm the mayor of gay town. I Invented it. So it was just really confusing. But it made me realize how much you take for granted or that you assume that they're processing correctly. And then I heard from Ira Glass from this American Life and he said, oh, I loved your appearance on Colbert. I'd love to do a follow up segment about your follow up conversation with them. It didn't happen. We never brought it up again. I was like, Ira, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. I didn't, I. We just had the conversation and dropped him off at school and then went about our lives. And I was like, way to make me feel like an even worse parent. So he was like, if I email you questions to ask your kids, will you talk to them? And so did you? Yeah, I did. And it was like, I felt like I was, it was like a job interview. I had this printed out piece of paper and I was like, do you remember that I'm gay? Yes. Okay, next question. Do you remember what gay is? Yes. Boy likes a boy, girl likes a girl. When teachers and faculty. No, it just was this really awkward situation. But yeah, now they know.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah. You're also dealing with nine year old boys who sometimes just answer and yes, no, yes, no. It's like pulling teeth to get any information anyway. But I think that speaks to the larger, you know, idea as a parent. If sometimes you just tell it like it is, here's what it is. They accept the information and they're happy with that answer. Kids can just blow you away with their responses to things sometimes. You know, we're going through a separation and a divorce and my, you know, we said to my son, you know, like, what is your idea of a family? And he said, it's a group of people that love each other. And I said, well, that's exactly what we are. We're a group of people that love each other and we love you and that is never going to change. So. And hearing that, you know, out of an 8 year old, he was 8 at the time, it's just.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, he gets it.

[Dylan Dreyer]

We're done.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well, yeah. And after I explained everything to them, I had this insecure feeling of, oh my gosh, what if all this new information has changed something? And so I was like, what do you guys think? Or how do you feel? And they were like, oh, we love our family. And it was just a really, really sweet moment. Right. So yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I've also heard in some of your standup that Stephanie perhaps might be the favorite parent.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. And our son started yelling, mommy's home, Mommy's home. And then I came around the corner, and our son Finn looked back at me and then looked at his brother and said, it's just her. That special is from a few years ago.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, so has it adjusted a little?

[Tig Notaro]

It has. I mean, I wouldn't say I'm the favorite. I would say that I've had a better time connecting with them because I have come off the road from touring as much as I did earlier on, and it's been night and day connecting with them. People would tell me, like, oh, yeah, it kind of ebbs and flows with who they're closer to and who they connect with. And I just thought, God, I want to. I want to get in on that a little deeper. So now my plan is to only tour one long weekend a month, so that's manageable. I remember taking a walk with my son into town. We live in a really walkable area. And he was just like, this is just fun. Me and you taking a walk together, you know? And it was just like. It's just those little moments of connection or them wanting me around or going to me for anything, really. Whereas sometimes I felt like I was, you know, like, the visitor is back.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Pop in, and, yeah, I gotta go. Yeah, nice to see you. I try to focus on that connection, too. Just, like, with each of them individually. Cause I kind of lump them all together. And two of them were. I don't know where they were, but I was just with my middle son. And he's like, isn't this nice? And I'm like, what? He's like, they're not here. It's just me and you. He said, it's never just me and you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And it just struck me as something that I need to focus on a little bit more. Especially the middle child. Cause it's like he can branch off with the older one or the younger one and go either way, but it's rare. He's alone and gets a moment. And then when you have those moments, you just want to keep doing it, you know? So it's great that you can be home more to. Especially now that they recognize that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. And they talk about it, too. They're like. They'll say, now that you're home more, and now that you don't do this,

[Dylan Dreyer]

you know, it's like, really dig in there. I get it. I wasn't home before.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, we were on. We were on vacation. This is so. I misunderstood my family talking. They call me Mer for mother, and it's a French word. And so I overheard Stephanie talking with my sons and I thought they said, well, we can do that when mayor is dead. I was like. I said, what? Do what when I'm dead? And they were like, no, when you to bed or whatever it was. And I was like, oh. I was like, I thought you guys were planning your lives after I die. So now that's become like this joke in our family where Steph would be like, no, no, no. We have to wait till Bear is dead to do it. It's so dark and weird. But.

[Dylan Dreyer]

But I love that you were totally thinking like they're. They're already plotting all of this.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, yeah, I was fascinated. I was like, what are you planning that you can't do now? What can you not do now?

[Dylan Dreyer]

How soon is this happening?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And are you guys excited for this plan? That's really. I'm realizing I should probably put that in my stand up.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It does work because I love that that's where your mind went.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Must be dead. Couldn't possibly be bed.

[Tig Notaro]

We can't do it now. We can't have fun while she's alive. Add it to the list. Will do. When she dies.

[Dylan Dreyer]

When she's dead. Yeah, I love that. Stay with us. We'll be right back after the break.

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[Mathnasium Advertiser]

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[Tig Notaro]

Substance use disorder and addiction is so isolating. And so, as a black woman in recovery, hope must be loud. It grows louder when you ask for help and you're vulnerable. It is the thread that lets you know that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When we learn the power of hope, recovery is possible. Find out [e-mail] brought to you by

[Dylan Dreyer]

the National Council for Mental well Being Shatterproof and the AD Council. When it comes to discipline, where do you and Stephanie line up? Like who's the tough guy?

[Tig Notaro]

I feel like we're pretty similar. What I will say is Stephanie's way of parenting changed me a lot. Whereas I feel like I was a little more black and white in the earlier days. Like an example being like, it's bedtime. Turn the TV off right now. Go to bed. You know, as opposed to what she does. And what is more of the vibe of the house now is like, when does your show wrap up? How many more minutes do you have? Then turn it off, and then it's bedtime. I think because my stepfather was such a disciplinarian, and that was his way, that was kind of all I knew.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

And then when I was watching her do what she does, I was like, God, that's better. Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And they're not yelling and they're not upset, and everybody's kind of happy.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. It's all reasonable. It's like, oh, yeah, there's 10 more minutes. And you think of the big scheme of things, and that's no big deal. You can spare 10. Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

My mom is staying with me right now. And, you know, growing up, dinner time was like, you sat. You ate dinner, you had good conversation. You didn't go out of your chair, you didn't sing at the table. So watching her squirm while my kids are eating dinner, you know? Cause to me, it's like, all right, they're hopping up out of their chair, but we're all like, there's no TV, there's no iPad. Like, there's no distractions. It's just them being silly with each other and me, you know, kind of getting frustrated at times, like, eat, eat, eat. Because I still have the little kids who aren't eating right. But it's just so interesting to watch my mom just sit there and, like, sound, you know? I wonder how much she's judging me as a parent, because it is so different from the way she parented.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I wonder. I mean, my mother passed away, but I wonder what she would think. I can't believe how much my stepfather came around. He was so very strict and regimented. But after my mother died and he became the sole parent, and I think because our family had been through so much, I don't know what it was, but he just saw me in a different light. And he would always tell me that he thought Stephanie and I were doing such a great job. And I know it looked so different from what he did with us, but that really meant a lot, because even though I did forget to tell my kids, I'm gay.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Minor detail.

[Tig Notaro]

I do feel like we're doing a good job, and our kids are like, their dreams, their absolute dreams.

[Dylan Dreyer]

It's amazing. I know. I feel the same way. It's like, I came into this. I was never a babysitter. I never had little brothers or sisters. And I didn't know what I was doing going into parenting. But it's like, if I step back, I'm proud of myself. I love my kids. I think they're awesome.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I remember right before our sons were born, I was sitting on the couch and Stephanie walked by me and she said to me, have you ever read, like, a. This is a week before they were due. Have you ever read, like, a baby book or, like a. Like, how to raise a kid or do you know much about babies? And I was like, not really. No. No. And then they arrived. We were like, what? What do we do? I remember being at the hospital, and after they were born, they were given to us. And I thought that they, based on TV and film, go into the little nursery and you go look at them through windows. Where's that room? I've never seen that room. I haven't either. And so I.

[Dylan Dreyer]

They brought me the baby, and I

[Tig Notaro]

was like, I know we had two. And I thought they were going into that little room for a couple of days and that we would go peek on them and adjust to the idea that we are now. Erin, that one's mine. Yeah. Yeah. Like, do, do, do. But no, they handed us the babies, and then we've had them ever since. And Stephanie and I, we were holding them, looking at each other like, wait, we just have them? No, it was. So that's it. Yeah. It was so alarming. So, no, we didn't read anything. We didn't know what. I guess that book or movie, what to Expect When Expect It. Like, we didn't know what to. We were just like, I don't know. We will see.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You know, I remember my oldest was like, a typical baby, but my second just cried all the time. I mean, just constantly crying. And I wasn't sleeping at night. Like, every time you fed him, he was just miserable. Like, just a miserable child and crying and crying. So I did end up getting a book to just like, what are some tips? How do we stop them from crying? Like, what do we do? So I'm sitting there, like, holding Ollie, and it says here, hum to the baby. So I'm like, hum, baby. Hum, baby, Hum, baby.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, this is Hum, baby, hum. None of us know what we're well, that's the thing is it's like, you know, that people have babies in the jungle and raise them, you know, and they survive. And so. Yeah, we probably should have read a book. Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

But it wouldn't have made a difference. I mean, you're gonna. You parent the way you parent.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

What would you. You know, daydreaming into the future. When your kids look back and they describe their parents, what do you hope for in that description? What do you hope they think about you guys as parents?

[Tig Notaro]

This is such a simple word, but they both tell us this all the time, that they think we're really nice and. Yeah, that's really sweet. I know. It's so like a kid word. Like, you're. You guys are so nice to us. But I love, like, I don't. I think fun nice. If I'm going to use, like, kid words.

[Dylan Dreyer]

What surprised you that you didn't think you'd be so good at. That you are good at as a

[Tig Notaro]

parent or bad at.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Or bad at.

[Tig Notaro]

To go back to my stepfather, he said years after we had a very difficult relationship and he had apologized to me right after my mother died for not being supportive of me. And he just said, I never understood you. And he said, I always wanted you to follow a path that I thought was the right path. And because he had told me my career was a waste of my time and my intelligence.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

But he said when we were literally driving away from my mother's funeral, he was crying, which I could. Had never seen in my life. And he said that I realize now that it is not the child's responsibility to teach the parent who they are. It's the parent's responsibility to learn who their child is.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, my goodness.

[Tig Notaro]

And I didn't do that. And I'm sorry.

[Dylan Dreyer]

That just gave me chills.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And I think that I was always a little scared that I would, you know. You know what? You know. And I was scared that I would be a little too. Rule heavy and rigid and forget to have fun. And I think that I'm very proud of the fact that. Well, first of all, those words have stayed with me. And I've really, like. I look at my kids as gifts that I can't wait to find out what's in there.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Rather than projecting it onto them of what I want or think. And I don't want or think anything. I really am in the space of. Man, who are you guys? I can't wait to know.

[Dylan Dreyer]

And to that point, how do you navigate letting your kids be who they're going to be, do their own thing while still being the parent, while still setting the rules, setting the standards, you know, kind of having your own influence on them? Or do you think that's part of them becoming who they are?

[Tig Notaro]

I think a lot about, especially with my kids, about, I think I call it zooming in and zooming out. And there are moments that I think you really need to zoom in and take things very seriously, draw the line and enforce things. And then there's times that I remind myself to zoom out, that nobody's in imminent danger. This isn't, in the long run, a big deal. And not to turn this really dark, but our friends lost their son, I believe, when he was 9. And I'll never forget her saying she hears parents complain about their kids crawling into bed with them at night and that they need to sleep in their own beds and they need to do this and that. And she said, what I would give to have George crawl into bed with me.

[Dylan Dreyer]

I was just having this conversation with my mom because I woke up. I'm like, oh, I didn't sleep well. Calvin came in, and then Ollie came in, and then Rusty came into my bed. So it's like, everybody's in my bed, and then there's the dog in my bed. And she's like, well, you know, that's why we didn't let you sleep in our bed. And I'm like, mom, you would. You would lock the door to your bedroom, and I would sleep on the floor outside your door, crying to the point. It's like, you know, I said, it's such a short period of time that you have kids who want to crawl into bed. And if you're the ultimate comfort, I mean, yes, I will, like, mentally complain that I'm not sleeping and my back hurts, but I love being their comfort. I love being when they're scared in the middle of the night or just want to hold something. Someone that I can be that person for them.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

So we do something here. It's called Parenting Confessions. We kind of admit to some of the things that maybe we wouldn't have said out loud unless somebody asked us to say out loud. Is there anything that stands out to you that you could admit to that maybe wasn't your finest parenting moment?

[Tig Notaro]

I do wish I had read some parenting books. Even though you're saying, like, everyone just parents, how they parent. I clearly was open to shifting my thoughts by meeting Stephanie. And, you know, What? I mean, when I think, like, all the stages they've been through and the stuff. Here I am saying, I wish I had read one. I could have again, still read one. And I haven't because I'm thinking, like,

[Dylan Dreyer]

they're not totally grown up yet.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I'm realizing that as I'm talking.

[Dylan Dreyer]

But you're not gonna do it.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm. Well, you know what? Maybe I will. Maybe I will. Because I'm like, what am I talking about? I'm sitting here saying, who knows what's coming in the teenage years? I'm like, God, I could read a book. So, yeah, I'm gonna read a book.

[Dylan Dreyer]

More of the parent chat after the break. Looking for a gift that was made

[Tig Notaro]

to make Mom's Day.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Shop Etsy for all her favorites, like

[Tig Notaro]

personalized jewelry or even custom stained glass artwork.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Celebrate the heart of the family with Mother's Day gifts on Etsy. Shop the Etsy app.

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[Dylan Dreyer]

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[Tig Notaro]

Where to begin? Our sons, particularly, one of them loves Eminem and he loves Kendrick Lamar, but he does not want to hear any of the songs that have bleeped out words. So you go all in. Yeah, we let them listen to it. But we've talked about, you know, there's certain words that we've had to talk about what they are. And so I would imagine not every house is. Yeah, yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

See, we do that with movies because I have the nine year old, but I also have the four year old. So it's like the nine year old, he, you know, I think he can tell the difference between this is a line and a movie. He's not like going around saying it, but now the four year old is also watching those same movies. And, you know, one time my four year old's like, oh, ship. After we just. After we watch Top Gun, Maverick, you know, like, there's that whole ending scene where it's like, oh. And he's like, oh, ship. And I'm like, what did you say, buddy? He's like, oh, ship. And I'm like, all right, well, you're not saying the real word, so that's fine.

[Tig Notaro]

As long as there's not a T in there.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Ship is great. So let's end on a high note, like a parenting win. Something recently that happened that, you know, stands out to you is you're like, I got this. I'm doing this just fine. I don't need a book.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I would say one of the proudest moments of my life as a parent was our kids went on a field trip. We gave them each $20. A teacher gave us feedback on one son, and a parent gave us feedback just completely and independently of the other. And one told us that our son Max, he had purchased potato tacos for lunch, and he left one by a person in need that was sleeping on the street.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Oh, my goodness.

[Tig Notaro]

And, yeah. And then our son Finn, when the guide at the. Wherever they were, see, I'm not a good parent. I don't know where they were. I don't know where the bus took them.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Just go. Just go. You'll be fine.

[Tig Notaro]

Have fun. Have a good time. He tipped the guide, really, $10 of his 20. Of his 20.

[Dylan Dreyer]

That's really sweet.

[Tig Notaro]

And what I attribute it to is every Sunday we pack and deliver food to people in need. And we never told them, like, oh, do this or that with your money. But that was the feedback of them out in the world.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

And I was blown away. And they didn't tell us. They did that.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You heard it from the teacher and the chaperone parent.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Isn't that incredible that what you're teaching them by doing.

[Tig Notaro]

Unbelievable. I know it's a little braggy, but I just.

[Dylan Dreyer]

You should brag about that one.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm so proud.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Well, this has been great. It's been so nice to talk to you. I mean, I just. I love how chill you are as a parent. And, you know, it all seems to be working. So keep up the good work.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you. You too.

[Dylan Dreyer]

Something about that conversation with Tig just. It was comforting. It kind of made me feel like everything's gonna be all right. We overthink so many things as parents. Are we doing this right? Are we doing that right? But there's a moment when you need to just trust your own instincts as a parent and know that, yes, you are doing it right. How do you know? Look at your kids. So I want to know how you feel about today's conversation. You could DM me, Ylan Dreyer, NBC or Oodayparents. We want to get your opinion on things and keep this conversation going. Thank you so much for watching. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. This episode was produced by Ann Legamayo. Rachel. Paula Abramson is our parenting reporter. Our senior producer is Tyre Nobles. It was edited by Ali Strain. Our audio engineer is Joe Plord. Our head of audio production is Jessica Fenton. Ashley Domagola is our production manager. Sadie Bass is our supervising producer. Ariana Davis is the executive editor of the Today Show. And Ashley Kodiani is the vice president of content strategy. I'm Dylan Dreier, and this has been the Parent Chat, a production of the Today Show. See you next week.

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