What happens when the path you thought you were on… just doesn’t work out?

This week, we’re talking to Phil and Jonathan—two dads who spent three years in the adoption process before realizing it might not be how they’d build their family.

We get into everything: the waiting, the emotional toll, the near misses, and what it’s like navigating a system that isn’t exactly built for queer families.

And then—everything shifted.

From choosing an egg donor to an unexpected offer from a best friend to become their gestational carrier, their story is a powerful reminder that queer family building rarely follows a straight line.

We also talk about what it really means to intentionally choose parenthood as a queer couple—and how different that process is from the “let’s see what happens” approach many straight couples get to take.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure about your path to parenthood… this episode is for you.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

Queer parenthood is never accidental—it’s intentional, emotional, and often nonlinear.
And sometimes, the path that doesn’t work out is the one that leads you exactly where you were meant to go.

🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

Phil is an eight-time published author who writes queer young adult and middle grade fiction, as well as children’s books—including Little Golden Book biographies of icons like Billy Porter, Judy Garland, and Liza Minnelli.

Jonathan is a luxury wedding planner based in New York City, where he works with couples to create intentional, high-end celebrations that reflect who they are.

🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

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🏳️‍🌈 What resonated most with you?

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🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Co-Produced by Jaimie Kelton & Dianni Hall 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato

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🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.

The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!

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