A 365-Day Promise

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Southern Tea — “A 365-Day Promise”

Host: Lindsie Chrisley
Guests: Alessandra, Kale
Release Date: May 18, 2026
Location: Recorded in New York City

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Overview

In this candid episode of “The Southern Tea,” Lindsie Chrisley dives deep into her personal journey of self-healing following a series of challenging events—most notably a court battle involving a past relationship and the retrieval of her family dog. Broadcasting from a busy stint in New York City, Lindsie is joined by friends Alessandra and Kale for a heartfelt discussion on the power of intentional solitude, routines for self-care, and the necessity of boundaries after relational trauma. A focal point of this episode is Lindsie’s public commitment to celibacy for 365 days—a “promise to herself” aimed at healing and reacquainting with her own needs and boundaries.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Toll of Nonstop Life and Hosting (01:39–04:49)

• Lindsie describes feeling exhausted after weeks of travel and personal obligations: from court proceedings to hosting friends, to navigating Mother’s Day, and managing her house.
• Humor in household routines: Pressure washing has become “part of her brand” and an admitted coping mechanism for stress.
  • “People are so sick of me talking about pressure washing. I don’t give a—” (02:49, Lindsie)
• Mess and cleanliness rituals: Lindsie emphasizes the need for her home to be spotless before she leaves, feeding her controlling tendencies in chaos.

2. Adapting to City Life & Event Pressures (03:33–04:49)

• Red carpet events are not as glamorous as they seem: Behind-the-scenes at the Webbies, standing next to heaps of trash, logistical nightmares, and the contrast between public image and messy reality.
• Moments of missing “home routines” and noting how travel and event life disrupt emotional equilibrium.

3. Sleep Patterns, Control, & Relationships (05:03–12:24)

• Lindsie is a famously deep sleeper: Describes being physically unresponsive during naps, requiring significant effort to wake, which friends find both worrying and funny.
  • “Somebody could rob me in the middle of the night and I could be held at gunpoint and wake up and they would be like, hey, I’m here to shoot you.” (06:26, Lindsie)
• Morning rituals and personal space: Deep need for solitude on waking, difficulties adjusting to partners with clashing morning energies.
• Coping with change after her long-term relationship with Will: Noting the comfort and subtle mutual adaptations that took years to build.

4. The 365-Day Celibacy Promise & Healing (11:05–22:33)

• Publicly marks the start of a year-long period of intentional singleness:
  • “I know I said 365 days and celibate for 365 days. And I fully mean that... I’m marking it down on a calendar.” (11:05, Lindsie)
• Motivated by the need to rediscover herself after back-to-back relationships and turmoil.
• Discussion on how past partners adapted their routines (perhaps unhealthily) to hers, and how mutual adaptation should not overshadow healthy self-boundaries.
• Acknowledge that ending relationships with shared routines—especially involving parenting—makes moving on complex:
  • “Will knew when we were married, like, okay, if there are two doors closed, it’s because Lindsay’s trying to have privacy... And when we had Jackson, it’s like she wants to do the morning bottle or the morning breastfeeding by herself.” (17:51, Lindsie)

5. Growth, Age, and Communication (19:00–20:31)

• Aging brings self-knowledge and assertiveness:
  • “At 36, it does feel like the middle of my life. And I truly don’t think I could endure any more trauma... Now we’re gonna go into a healing state.” (20:05, Lindsie)
• Celibacy as a conscious choice for healing and learning to provide for herself first.
• Friends encourage treating oneself as lovingly as you expect from a partner.

6. Navigating Public Scrutiny & Internet Hate (23:25–26:34)

• Unique challenge of healing publicly: Tabloid speculation often outpaces her own awareness.
• Social media toxicity: Discussion on the obsession of internet trolls, Reddit threads, and the “double-edged sword” of online engagement.
  • “It is a mental illness to be hating somebody on the Internet. You have to be so sick in the head to write a hate comment.” (24:18, Alessandra)
  • “But if people do stop talking, then that's a problem. But if they're talking too much, that's a problem. Where is the middle ground?” (26:34, Lindsie)

7. The Court Case, Civil Agreement & Dog Retrieval (28:25–40:06)

• Detailing the stressful and emotionally fraught court process to retrieve her dog, Oliver.
  • “That was an agreement that was entered for as long as we were in the relationship. Once the relationship was over... dogs are considered property.” (34:31, Lindsie)
• The difficulty of facing a former partner in court after trauma.
• Describes the fairness and intent behind agreeing to a mutual civil protection order rather than pursuing further litigation.
  • “I just want to be away from this situation... I don’t have to look at you because I’m uncomfortable and I’m not going to put you in the position to have to look at me.” (28:25, Lindsie)
• Reinforces sense of safety post-agreement and relief that she is now protected, ready to move on.

8. Justice, Religion, and Setting an Example (41:36–47:31)

• Struggles between her “justice-driven” nature and a Southern/religious upbringing that values grace and “the high road.”
  • “Sometimes situations that you arrive to are not graceful. And trying to meet that situation with grace can be very difficult.” (44:53, Lindsie)
• Parenting and modeling self-advocacy for her son, Jackson.
• Acknowledges that experience—often despite advice—is the only way some lessons are internalized.

9. Reflection on Self-Worth, Dating Patterns, and Trauma Bonds (51:36–66:26)

• The dangers of love bombing, trauma bonding, and pouring oneself into relationships before healing:
  • “Like, I just want to be in a loving, solid relationship. I have a big heart... but publicly, I might come across one way because I’m guarded.” (51:36, Lindsie)
• Recognizes her tendency to give ‘wifey energy’ immediately in new relationships, which can attract manipulative partners.
• Admits that after her relationship with Will, she became more trusting and less guarded—sometimes to her detriment.
• Celibacy as a reset to rebuild trust in herself before entering new dynamics.

10. The Relief and Growth of Intentional Singleness (61:11–65:41)

• Expresses relief at not having to check in with anyone, fully enjoying her own company:
  • “Do you guys understand how good it feels to not feel obligated... to be in communication with someone?” (61:35, Lindsie)
• Plans for self-care: Pilates, solo dinners, hair, massage—falling in love with her routines again.
• Acknowledges that missing an ex even after trauma is normal, and that true healing requires embracing both the pain and fond memories:
  • “You can go through a hard time in a relationship... and it be so traumatizing, but still miss that person.” (64:59, Lindsie)
• Recognizes the pattern of trauma bonds and the need to process, not suppress, difficult emotions.

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Notable Quotes

• On learning through experience:
   “There are certain things in my lifetime that my parents have collectively warned me against, and I chose the opposite thing... is it my personality that I need to travel that road as a lone soldier and have that experience to truly understand it?” (47:34, Lindsie)

• On healthy boundaries in relationships:
   “I’m not prepared in any way... Will I ever be able to learn [mutual adaptation] with another partner? The answer right now is no.” (17:51, Lindsie)

• On the importance of self-care and intentional solitude:

  • “You need to be that lover girl to yourself.... Fall in love with doing things just for Lindsay again.” (61:02–61:09, Kale & Alessandra)

• On setting public boundaries:
   “I have gotten a lot more comfortable with just saying, hey, guess what? Like, this is the decision I’ve made, and this is the decision that I am sticking to. No one can talk me out of it.” (59:28, Lindsie)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:39–04:49: Lindsie’s exhaustion, coping mechanisms, and travel/hosting chaos
• 05:03–12:24: Morning routines, sleep habits, and impact on relationships
• 11:05–22:33: Celibacy promise discussion and rationale
• 23:25–26:34: Dealing with public scrutiny, social media toxicity
• 28:25–40:06: Court case, retrieving her dog, and discussion of civil agreement
• 41:36–47:31: Parenting and justice, religion’s impact on self-advocacy
• 51:36–66:26: Healing from trauma bonds and the importance of self-trust
• 61:11–66:26: Relief and empowerment from intentional self-time

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Tone & Style

• Conversational and honest: Lindsie and her guests banter, joke, and reflect with an open vulnerability characteristic of “The Southern Tea.”
• Southern frankness, humor, and heartfelt support permeate the episode, from pressure washing quirks to the gritty realities of trauma healing.
• Supportive dialogue and accountability: Friends challenge and cheer Lindsie on, modeling healthy encouragement and boundary-setting.

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This episode is a must-listen for those navigating breakups, public scrutiny, and the journey of rediscovering self worth after loss. Lindsie’s 365-day promise is framed not as deprivation, but as an act of self-love, resilience, and rebuilding.

Transcript

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

Maybe I'm just like weird. Maybe I'm crunchy.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

This is the Southern Tea with Lindsey Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you

[Lindsay Chrisley]

get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

I don't love them.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

A Southern girl and a who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now. Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea.

[Alessandra]

That is the tea.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Here's Lindsay. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. We are recording from New York City. Still.

[Alessandra]

We. We're still here.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I feel like we keep doing this. It's like we are recording another episode from Delaware. We are recording another episode from Atlanta. We are recording another episode from New York City. And I feel like I have not slept quite literally in four weeks and I'm gonna crash out.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna be going on a grippy sock vacation party soon.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

If Peachford has a bed whenever I get home, you guys might find me there because I took Thursday and Friday last week as personal days after court.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And then immediately had to do Mother's Day. And I say had to do. I am blessed to be able to do Mother's Day on Saturday, but then also had to pack and clean my house because the way that my house was left after the Atlanta crew was there Last week, talk about a mad crash out. The amount of blankets that I had to clean, the fact that I did not get. And people are so sick of me talking about pressure washing. I don't give a.

[Alessandra]

It's part of her brand at this point.

[Kale]

It is.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So shut up when you guys start seeing me pop up on Tik Tok. And it's just straight pressure washing videos for my entire feed.

[Alessandra]

Mind your business.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Mind your business or scroll. I really wanted to get my pressure washer out to pressure wash, like, my back porch and all the germs off. And Jackson said, mom, this is, like, getting insane.

[Alessandra]

I mean, who are you hurting? I mean, it's your water bill at the end of the day.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Exactly. Yeah. So yesterday we did the Webbies whole thing. And I think that people don't understand, like, how long it takes to pull off, like, doing a red carpet event.

[Alessandra]

And it's just, like, nobody knows the behind the scenes of, like, a work trip for anything with an event and being there on time and making sure everybody's coordinated. You have an outfit. The logistics also, it's just, like, not glamorous. We were waiting in the line for the red carpet next to literal trash.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Trash. And Madison was like, lindsay and Kale are truly not city girls. I thought that they were throwing out dead bodies, like, on the side of the road. The amount of trash that was on the side of the road and the trash bags. I have never seen trash bags that large ever in my entire life.

[Alessandra]

Oh, my God. That's so funny.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's funny because when I was leaving my house, Will picked Jackson up, and he was, like, helping me roll my TR Hands to the road. And he said, you still are the biggest producer of trash of Cherokee County. Like, you and my dad produce more trash of anybody that I know. But I think it's because I, like, obsessively and excessively throw away things.

[Alessandra]

Really? Like, is it a coping mechanism?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, 1,000%. Like, throwing away. I really don't know. It is a coping mechanism. I feel like when I get super stressed, I start going through my house, and if there's, like, random stuff that's laying around, it just goes in the trash. Oh, yeah. It's really a problem. And also another problem that I have is that, like, I want my house to be spotless before I leave. And it wasn't. Like, I still had comforters and stuff to wash. And so now that is in my mind, like, I need to get back to those comforters.

[Alessandra]

I know. Yeah. Because that's where you have control in a clean house, in a clean space. Did your cleaners come yesterday?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

My cleaners.

[Alessandra]

So I know they come every Monday at 1 o'. Clock.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

She's like, I see the calendar invite.

[Alessandra]

I know they come Monday at 1:00. And guess what? We're recording most of that time and they're vacuuming the vacuums. The vacuum is the shark of this podcast.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

The shark is out, honey. No, they did not come Monday this week because I still had a full house until Wednesday. Was it Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning?

[Alessandra]

I'm talking about yesterday.

[Kale]

No, Wednesday night. I left. I didn't leave.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I don't know if they were at my house.

[Kale]

Well, yeah, you were napping and I tried to wake you up and I was like, she hosted so nicely. Like, I don't want to leave her house. It's so rude without saying. But I tried. Then I texted her and I was like, I love you so much. I didn't want to wake you up more. You needed to sleep. It was Wednesday afternoon, like 4:00'. Clock.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Alessandra is convinced that there is probably something wrong with me because her and Kayla both tried to wake me up before they left and she said, I did not move. And then this morning, and then in Delaware, they're like, how do you sleep?

[Alessandra]

Like, have you always been like that?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Always. My entire life. Like, I'm a super good sleeper and when I sleep, I sleep hard, but it takes a lot for like my brain to be able to shut off. And when it finally shuts off, there is no activity.

[Alessandra]

Like, no nothing happening.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No. Somebody could rob me in the middle of the night and I could be held at gunpoint and wake up and they would be like, hey, I'm here to shoot you.

[Kale]

I literally had to. Like, I was knocking on the door loud. Like, this is a paper mache apartment. Like, you can hear it across the room. Like, I'm not. I'm like, she's not starting. I open the door. Like, I don't want to open the door, but I'm like, she's about to wake up, you know? So I open the door, she's sleeping. I have to go. And like, I literally was like this, like shaking her body.

[Alessandra]

So let's say you need to, like, get up in the morning, take Jackson. Is the alarm waking you up? Like, what are we doing?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I mean, sometimes it's waking me up. Sometimes I think that my body is like trained on the school days that I have him.

[Alessandra]

Okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That I just like naturally start. My body starts Waking up and then I hear the alarm.

[Alessandra]

Okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But it's like, I used to have one of those, like, rolling alarms, you know, like the ones where you have to chase it to get up. I used to have one of those because I can't. I can't get up. And I need a good, like, two hours before anybody talks to me. Like, me sitting and hearing makeup friend is too.

[Alessandra]

Really? Girl.

[Kale]

She's like, I think Danielle might be a little tism. Like, me and Lindsay, too, though.

[Alessandra]

Oh, no, she is.

[Kale]

Oh, okay. So that sucks.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kale]

It's like a full hour to our brains, to people.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, I know. It's like, a full thing because, like, I'm such a morning person, and when I wake up, I'm like. Like, it had to be, like, a whole thing in our relationship of me being like, okay, I gotta give her her space. It's not personal. I would think she used to hate me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Hate me. And it's just like, no, I can't.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, no, no. See, that is the worst part about getting with a new partner, being in a new relationship. Them not understanding that. And it's like, I will quite literally rip your head. Morning. Do not talk to me. Do not touch me. Do not look my direction. I don't want to smell your coffee. Don't ask me if I want one.

[Kale]

Billy, get. Billy would wake me up every morning. And I know this sounds insane. Like, let me preface that. He was trying to be nice.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like.

[Kale]

And I want you to say this in the mic too, because you're not trying to be a.

[Alessandra]

Like. No, I know it comes. You're just. Your brain is not awake.

[Kale]

Like, your brain cannot do it. Billy was trying to wake me up with coffee every morning, and I would rip him and New asshole. I want coffee. Like, I would lose my mind. And that's so mean. Like, all this man is trying to do is wake me up nicely with a coffee, because he knows I love coffee. And I'm losing my mind. Because he's you. He's waking up and he's, like, bouncing up and down, like, ready for the day. And I'm gonna lose my mind. Today in glam. I'm so proud of. Like, I understand where you're coming from. Like, the look on your face when you're trying to wake up in the morning is so exhausting. Dude.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, I'm genuinely not trying to be a bitch about it. Like, it's not to be offensive, but just, like, read the room and know your partner, and we don't need to Be having in depth conversations about why the water bill was $20 more this month. It's because I ran a pressure washer. I don't care. Like, stop talking to me. When I woke up this morning and came out of this room and I heard everybody talking and the voices, like, carrying carried me.

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Alessandra's like, looking at my face when I'm sitting in here in makeup and she's like, this ain't it for her.

[Alessandra]

We were gonna record.

[Kale]

And I'm like, we're not recording.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, yeah. We were supposed to record hair and makeup video. And that just was not happening. It was not. The vibes this morning, I truly feel like I have slept maybe a full blown eight hours in four weeks is what it feels like.

[Alessandra]

No, but I feel like back to the waking up thing, I've never had a partner that I had to adapt to that because normally that person would match me. And it's very interesting. And. And now that I have Danielle and she's a very like, take it or leave it type of partner and with like, sleeping patterns and like, whatever. If something's not right, she's not gonna like, beat around the bush. And I kind of just like, appreciate it. And I'm just like, you know what?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Okay. You wanna be mute for the next hour and a half? Sounds good. I'll be over here.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But it's also like, I also, when I wake up, if I want to doom scroll if it's on a weekend, you don't need to be talking to me when I'm looking at a tick tock. I'm trying to watch the tick tock. Like, I'm not trying to get the commentary from you. If I want the commentary, I'll go in the comments.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You know what I mean?

[Alessandra]

And like, she'll do, like, if she wants me, like, to give her affection or anything, she'll like put my hand on her, like, and then I'll like cuddle her or something and we'll just like sit there. You know what I mean? Like, she'll invite me in, but I'm like, whatever. And then at night I'm like, goodbye. Like, I'm out. And she's like, tick tock.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm like, no, that's what I'm kind of worried about. I know I said 365 days and celibate for 365 days. And I fully mean that. Like, no having conversations with any man. Like, we aren't going to.

[Alessandra]

We're gonna have to put like a Whole poster somewhere all around your house, like, or little notes. Just being like, Celibate 365?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, no, I'm marking it down on a calendar.

[Alessandra]

You guys in the comments should be like, remember Lindsay, celibate365?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, but I think that that genuinely is like the healthiest thing in this moment that I could do. Whole point of me saying that is that there are parts of my last relationship that I'm going to miss because that man learned me so well so fast. I feel like. Which could have somewhat been a manipulation. However, like, very much learned my habits and the way that I did things and learned your habits.

[Alessandra]

But I've had partners that matched me almost all the time. But that's not them. They're adapting to you. Not keeping themselves and like, creating a life with you, you know, I mean, like, adapting to you is fine to a certain extent, but like.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But also they need to be able to live too, you know? And so you've got to find that happy balance. I do think because I was with Will for so long, I mean, 12 years is a long time and we knew each other from so many different, like, times of life, seasons of life, I guess so. You know, would I be pissed off if he was getting up and running amok when we were in college? No, because just leave me alone and I'm gonna sleep. And then we went through the early marriage phase, and then when we. We went through having a baby, and then we went through after having a baby and having a toddler too.

[Alessandra]

There's just so much guys have. And so it's like. And how do you say it? Like, you just know each other so well and it's like, you don't even have to say some things for him to understand.

[Kale]

It's a name.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Yeah. It's in your nature.

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Podcast Host / Narrator]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

But is it. Was he adapting to me or were we adapting to each other?

[Kale]

I think you're adapting to each other because there is no way not to in those phases of life. Been with Billy for 10 years and we met when we were 25. And that's like, create, like, the life phases that you go through and the changes that you go through, you have. You have no choice.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, you have to adapt.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And it's like you learn small things about each other. Like, for example, I know that in the fireside chats, we got down a tangent of, like, morning farts and shits and stuff like that. Not really my jam. Not something that I care about necessarily. Discussing now. Will I contribute to the conversation? If approached with a conversation, yes, us. But Will knew when we were married, like, okay, if there are two doors closed, it's because Lindsay's trying to have privacy and she's trying to take a poop. Like, I'm gonna leave her alone. And when we had Jackson, it's like she wants to do the morning bottle or the morning breastfeeding by herself. Like, I'm gonna go ahead and go take my shower. And then when he got into preschool, it's like, I'll go downstairs and make the breakfast while she bathes him. Like, those are all things that. But I'm like, will I ever be able to learn that with another partner? The answer right now is no. Like, I am not prepared in any way.

[Alessandra]

It's hard, especially with a kid involved, having somebody know your routine, having that. Just that knowledge, and knowing Jackson as much as nobody will know him, as much as his parents, you know, I

[Kale]

also think, like, when you get older, in your 30s, I think you start knowing yourself more than you did, obviously, when you were younger and dating, and your emotional intelligence is so much higher that you're able to communicate those needs to someone better, so.

[Alessandra]

Exactly.

[Kale]

They'll eventually learn because you're communicating. It won't be the same as, like, learning like, you like the back of their hand. Eventually it gets like that, but they'll learn you faster because you're able to communicate your needs better now.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Like, I'm able to be loved more in this relationship because I'm able to communicate my needs more, and we thrive better. Because sometimes I would just. I don't know this feeling. I don't know how to communicate to that. What can I do better? I wouldn't know.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's always, like, I think about my grandmother, and the older that she got, the less filter that she has. And I think that you start learning that when you get older. And I am definitely not old age, but I would say, what? 36 is considered middle age.

[Kale]

I mean, the average lifespan is 75 to 80. So we're, like, hitting it, you know, we're like. My friends keep telling me to stop saying middle, middle life because they're really freaked out, and they keep saying quarter life, but I don't think I'll leave until 140.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So listen, I. At 36, it does feel like the middle of my life. And I truly don't think that I could endure any more trauma than what I've already gone through. Like, I. I feel like God's not gonna do that to me. You know what I mean? He's like, okay, I gave you all that you need to handle, and now we're gonna go into a healing state.

[Kale]

I think that's where the celibacy comes in too.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

So that you can learn yourself. And then the next relationship you get into will be so much more intentional.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. You have to hit such a rock bottom to get yourself back up 100. Like, you have to hit the lowest of lows. So then you're like, I can never do that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Trust me. Being in State court is the lowest of lows. I didn't even do that when I was going through a divorce. I never even saw a courtroom one.

[Kale]

Also, you have to give yourself some grace because you're learning and dating what I learned in 10 years of dating. You're doing it since your divorce because you met Will so young. You never did this.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Thing.

[Kale]

You never did the dating thing. So you're learning all these romantic, like, lessons that we have learned in the span of like, a decade of, like, casually dating and all of those things.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I didn't start learning that until 33.

[Alessandra]

And, you know, that happens a lot with a lot of later in life lesbians, when they come out because they're suppressing their sexuality for so long. Right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, are you saying I'm a lesbian?

[Alessandra]

No, I'm just giving the same scenario of how people like, you're definitely not a lesbian, unfortunately, Lindsay, you're very straight. We are one of the straightest people I know. We were talking about. You said a dick was beautiful yesterday.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I mean, only a straight person will say that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That could be the only thing that I could look at in life. But I'm really glad to not have to look at one for the next. Well, 365 days started, what, last week, Alessandra. So I'm under 365, but at least I don't have to worry about looking at one for quite some time.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. I think, you know, you learn. You'll learn and you'll grow and you'll evolve. And I'm excited to see what you'll do and how you'll feel. Oh, so much sooner.

[Kale]

You will not. You will take so much less in your.

[Alessandra]

Oh, my God.

[Kale]

Like, the second you start dating, face someone and they say something wrong, you're, like, out of here.

[Alessandra]

Because you're so secure within yourself. And you're like, I don't have time for that.

[Kale]

You're giving yourself that space right now. You're giving yourself that year. You're going to get comfortable. You're going to learn yourself, and you're going to know what you can provide for yourself. And you're not going to accept anything less from your partner other than what you're providing yourself. I always say it now, if I started dating at 35, you have to

[Lindsay Chrisley]

add, but I knew that, Alessandra, I knew that that is, like, part of what I am internally processing with myself. I could verbalize to somebody that I was with, like, hey, you can't give me more than I can give me, but I still was accepting less.

[Kale]

One, I think that this time for yourself and. And being alone and, like, dating yourself, it's really important. I was such a big proponent of that. Like, buying yourself flowers, taking yourself out nice dinners, treating yourself that you want. Want somebody else to treat you so that when they're not doing it, it feels like, oh, my God, like, there's an absence of that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kale]

And I really do want you to give yourself some grace while you're processing through this, because, I mean, what I say, you learned a lot of romantic lessons in such a compact amount of time that I personally, and I know a lot of other people did learn all through, like, 19 to 25, 18, 17. Do you know what I mean?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, but it's also hard, like, learning those in a public aspect too. You know, it's. And then you don't want to be not authentic and, like, share what you're going through and what you're doing, but at the same time, you want, like, a little bit of privacy. But what I've had to learn through this last situation, I mean, people were out there posting about stuff before I ever even knew some of the information. So I'm like, where did they get the information? Who fed them that information? And now, not only am I navigating this through the public, like, I'm navigating this in my home in real time and in real time.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

I think that's the tricky part of this industry is trying to figure out how to navigate the difference between privacy and secrecy.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But it's not the fact that I care that anybody knows.

[Alessandra]

It's like, how are they getting this information before you yourself?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, it's scary.

[Alessandra]

And it's scary also. I don't know if you guys have ever talked about it, but people are so obsessed with knowing all the. The dirt and the tea and obsessing over it. It is a mental illness to be hating somebody on the Internet. You have to be so sick in the head to write a hate comment. Never in my life am I going up on Instagram being like, oh, ugly. What?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

What? I mean, I agree.

[Alessandra]

Maybe would think that. Or dumb bitch. I would think, oh, this. This take is dumb. You know, whatever opinion. This is stupid. But am I gonna go out of my way to comment on that?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, Because I have a brain. Three with that to about 90% of that I agree with. But then there's another 10% of me that's like, okay, I'm putting myself in the position for people to talk. And if I made a bad decision. They're allowed to comment on it, you know.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, but there's, there's a difference between line writing a comment, giving your opinion. Like, hey, Lindsay, that wasn't really a smart move. I think you're, you're, hey, Lindsay, I think you're a little out of touch with that comment.

[Kale]

Okay.

[Alessandra]

But there's another thing to be like just bringing a woman down and crossing that line. You would never say half those things, I think.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Never.

[Alessandra]

You know what I mean?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Even when I was accused of like saying a mean comment to Allison Cooch, I'm like, that would never be me. Like, I am not.

[Alessandra]

Situation was like crazy to me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That was wild. If that was, Wasn't that the way my year started? Yeah. I came back from Mexico and my year. I should have known. I should have known.

[Alessandra]

It's so sad.

[Kale]

I wish we could go back to 2025 US, because we were like, 2076 is going to be such a good year. We're gonna.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I would have just rather marinated in 2025 at this point.

[Alessandra]

I just think people are so sick that do all those comments and like stay up in those Reddit threads. Like, I, I don't understand it, how that can be. That also must consume you so much. Like, what are you talking about? Lindsey Chrisley in a Reddit thread while you're at work. The fuck? Get it together. There's so many things to do in the world. Go for a walk, walk your dog, piss on the toilet for six hours. I don't know, find something to do in your life that's like non obsessing over a parasocial relationship and hating on them.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But then it's also part of the business and without people being invested, it's like a double edged sword, I feel like, because if people do stop talking, then that's a problem. But if they're talking too much, that's a problem. Like, where is the middle ground? Because I do believe that people should be able to have their opinions and say what they want to say. But sometimes the stuff is so hurtful and it's so far fetched. Right. That it's like, that's actually not what happened. And what I'm really sick of speaking of Reddit is someone who knows that they've done wrong and is staying in Reddit comments, acting like people don't know who you are. Like, what do you mean? I know, like the narrative that is so skewed to one side and it literally sounds like you typing. Like it sounds like you, if you were talking, it sounds like you. So what are you doing? Like, I don't understand and I am going to address this because I had a support system to go with me to court and I had posted a picture when I got Oliver back the following day and people were like, what is the 28 days? The 28 days was the 28 days from the last time that I saw Oliver. And I want to be very clear when I say things weren't dropped because there wasn't validity to claims. Things were dropped because I'm a decent

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

person

[Lindsay Chrisley]

and people can have their opinions about whatever. There was a civil agreement that was entered into and that civil agreement is no different than as if the state had issued that agreement. It prevented, number one, who wants to be in court for 12 hours? We were going to get to the same result. So let's just go ahead and agree, move on and then I don't have to look at you because I'm uncomfortable and I'm not going to put you in the position to have to look at me like I have empathy for you and I just want to be away from this situation.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

N I also want to note I was able to mentally enter that civil agreement because when someone is out on bond that acts per bond conditions as a criminal restraining order. And so I have the same amount of protection if not more by going the path that I went. And so I am covered. I feel safe at this point. I feel a sense of relief for me the dog situation. And I know a lot of people have had questions about that. The dog situation was I got Oliver the summer of 2024. I was just getting out of my relationship before I was in my last relationship. My mom brought that dog to me and Jackson. It was a gift to him. She searched. She searched and searched because he wanted that specific type of dog. He wanted that coloring of that dog. He wanted that dog that had one eye, one color and one eye the other color. Don't ask me, but she found it. Yes. Did I allow him to take the dog to his house? I'm not at home a ton. I am rip roaring up and down the streets of my area all day, whether it be to pilates, to the car wash, to the grocery store, to Sam's club, to school pickup to school, drop off, doing whatever I have to do during the day. And I kind of live in an area where it's not quite convenient to just like go back and forth from home Like, I will leave and go do something and then go home. It's not convenient for me to do that where I live. And so I am in the car a lot of the time. And so when we were in a relationship, because he worked from home, it was easier for him to take him during the day because he was going to be home all day, and then to come back to my house in the evening. And I still saw him every evening. And so I just think that there is a lot of hoopla out there about, oh, well, she gave this, she did that, that. No, that was an agreement that was entered for as long as we were in the relationship. Once the relationship was over, unfortunately, whether people agree with it or not, and I don't know if this is statewide or if it's everywhere, but dogs are considered property. And people don't understand that. You can't just call the cops and be like, hey, go get my dog, because it's a civil issue.

[Alessandra]

You. Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so I have been working through that since February 13th. Have absolutely zero reason to lie about it. And for somebody to just not return the dog, it just felt like it was like a last piece of me that I couldn't get back. And so when that agreement was entered, when we were in court, I was going to act on that 48 hour rule because I felt that was in my best interest because I'm also ordered to follow that order. And so if I am negligent on that order, then I am negligent.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. And you're also at fault.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. I feel like going through that entire court process and just the lead up of that and the conversations that had to be had, had prior to going to court. Number one, I feel like it is so strange to go to court when you're going to court because of a romantic relationship. Like, that's odd in itself. But then to be there under those circumstances and that being the first time that you're seeing someone after you spent

[Alessandra]

so much time with them.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You spent so much time with them. But then, like the event, events that felt so traumatic, it's nerve wracking.

[Alessandra]

Like, I can only imagine. Lindsay. I'm like, in my head right now, I'm like, replaying if all my memories with somebody were just coming up and then they're just standing there after those events transpired. It's gut wrenching and it's horrible, and it's a lot to process.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, it made me feel like I was gonna have bubble guts, like, like walking into there. But Alessandra and Kayla spent the night with me the night prior so that they could wake up and go to court with me. And when they checked on me first thing in the morning, they were like, are you okay? And I said, no. I literally sat up in my bed and immediately had to run to the bathroom to throw up because I was so ill, because it. It just seemed so wrong. I also want to note that it was an easier decision to be able to make the civil decision that I made, because, number one, the courtroom is full. It is an open courtroom. Anybody can listen to anything that you say if you go up there and testify. Being in that room jointly is traumatizing enough, but then needing to go and testify to get something like that order just feels like the system is all wrong and it's all up, and you shouldn't have to go through that process. You. You shouldn't have to go through a process of going to court. And I understand that that's like. Like, the only way that you can get it because of the system, but going to court and having basically, like, a peanut gallery just sitting out there and listening to so awesome.

[Alessandra]

The trauma. If you think about it, like, here's the. One of the worst things that's ever happened to you in your life. Enjoy.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Sit right there.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, it's. It's insane. And then also the fact that, you know, there's protection orders that are in place, but the only place for you to stand in court is essentially against the protection order within the amount of space. Like, there is no possible way that There could be 500 yards.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Yeah. It's so. It's so odd to think about the whole court system is just crazy and how that set up.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I just didn't want to go, like. But the alternative of not going would be that it was dropped in its entirety. And so then you face. Okay, well, were those claims real? Because she didn't show up. And while I was walking through the process mentally, and when I say walking through a process mentally, it is. Is the same thing that I can relate to the process that I was walking through when I was getting a divorce. Right. Like, one day, I really, really wanted it, and then the next day, I wake up, and I'm like, wait, is this the right decision? Like, is this what I'm supposed to be doing? And so I was walking through all of those emotions with this lead up, because you're like, okay, well, I have this court date, and, like, this is when it is, and this is what time I have to go, and this is What I have to do. For me, it was more about the protection for the future of anybody involved. Right. Not. Not just the protection of me and not just the protection of a minor child and not just access to be able to get my dog back. It is about the protection of other people's futures that could potentially be involved.

[Alessandra]

100%. It's. You're saving other people that they don't even know. Know who that person is yet, you know?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

And you did that in good conscience, conscious, and good faith. And I think that was a very smart move.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And, like, for me, I can live. I had to look at myself in the mirror and be like, can you live with yourself with the decision that you choose? Can you live with yourself with that decision? And I didn't want to look at myself every day and have made the wrong decision. Like, I was very thoughtful when I made the decision. I feel like I was very fair.

[Alessandra]

100.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I was more than fair.

[Alessandra]

More than fair, Lindsay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But it doesn't have to be on my conscience and everything else. Everything else that is going to be faced in that situation. Yes. Does it have. Does it have to do with me? Yes. But does it involve me? No. And so I can live with myself knowing that part.

[Kale]

Yeah. I think it's like, you didn't take out the charges. No, he took out the charges. And that what you guys were going forward for temporary protective orders, like, there's no long road ahead. I think people are confused about that as well. Like that what you went through was not the court case. It was not saying he didn't do anything to you. It was that, like, you're gonna mutually have this no contact order in place and that's it.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. I think people are very confused about that. Like, this is over. Like. No, it's not over. That civil part of what I personally filed has remedy to that situation. The other part of it is the state of Georgia, and I have no part of dealing with that and quite frankly, don't want a part of dealing with that.

[Alessandra]

No, that has nothing to do with you at this point. You protected yourself. You protected your family. You've protected future people around this person. It's out there. And whatever transpires on forward with that with the court case has nothing to do with you.

[DISH Ad Voice]

You.

[Kale]

You're also teaching your son and building a level of trust within yourself to stand up for yourself. And it's something I've been watching you do for the last two years. Like, even with the tell. With your family and stuff, like you're at this phase of your life where even if it's scary, even if it really hurts, you're gonna stand up for yourself.

[Alessandra]

You know, I've been seeing for you for the last couple years that you've been learning how to stand up for yourself. You did it with your parents, you're doing it now. You're setting such a good example for Jackson. And I think when you just leave stuff and let the dust settle and don't deal with it head on, it's gonna come back and bite you in the ass tenfold.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well then I have gone through basically my whole life. You are taught like take the high road, right? And that's an easy thing for people to say, take the high road, but identify what the high road is. And I think it's up to everyone, every person to identify what their high road is. Right.

[Alessandra]

That would piss me off so much as a kid because I was very, I'm an only child and very outspoken and I'll just say what's on my mind. And my mom would be like. Or who it wouldn't be. My mom would be my grandmother being like, just take the high road. It's not that big of a deal. And I would be like, no, I'm gonna get my justice. I'm not gonna have them talk to me like that. And I wanted the closure but then I found out with you know, getting a frontal lobe and everything, you getting one is crazy. Getting a little. Yeah, that pick and choose your battles and with that you can find the closure within yourself. And you know in your scenarios you have to pick that. And that's justice, you know, I really struggle with.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So Jackson is a very justice driven child and if somebody does something to them, to him, he wants to make sure that they get their lick back. And it does not matter if it, it's six months from now, he is not going to forget it. And for me question. Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Where did he get that from? Is he that him on his own, Somebody at school, something happened? Or is it like do you neurod divergence?

[Kale]

Cuz people neurodivergency have a very strong justice sensitivity dysphoria.

[Alessandra]

Okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Alessandra is saying that it's probably him being neurodivergent. I would tend to agree with that. That Will and I both struggle with being a little bit justice driven. We were justice driven in our marriage. It's like oh, you did that. Okay, you wait. You know the tit for tat as I've gotten older but always have also struggled with somewhat standing up for myself. I think I was like a quiet Lone Ranger child. Even being the oldest of five, I feel like I struggle with wanting justice, but also having the religious backing of, like, God will take care of this. And, like, if you pray enough, like, it will pray it away. And you need to pray for peace, and you need to have a level of grace. And I always was raised, like, go into every situation with grace, but sometimes situations that you arrive to you are not graceful. And trying to meet that situation with grace can be very difficult.

[Alessandra]

So what you just said is why I have resentment towards religion. That is exactly why. Because it made me feel so much smaller in scenarios where I felt so big and I was, like, so passionate. Oh, pray about it. Go into this with grace. God will. Will forgive all sins. But I'm like, at the end of the day, like, you did something wrong, and, like, you don't take emotional accountability for it, but then you'll pray for it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But I had to learn that God will forgive all sins. That's for God to forgive, not me.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so I don't have to be on that same timeline of forgiveness. If you pray for forgiveness from God, that's you and God. That's not me and you.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Like, I'm an extremist. And I remember saying I was maybe, like, 18 to my grandma, and we were talking about something, and I was like, okay, what if X, Y and Z family member committed murder? Are we just gonna go forgive them? No, they're gonna be in jail and, like, serving their time. So I'm like, we need to hold people for that much accountability as well.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, no, I mean, I do get that. I just very much have always struggled with it in my life, and I think that's why it's taken me so long. And maybe some of these relationships that have failed have caused me to have, what would I say, like, a bigger backbone. Alessandra, like, you're also just rewiring past

[Alessandra]

ways that you've grown up. It's so hard to rewire your brain and how. How you're used to doing things because of your parents and then whatever scenarios you're.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I want to be clear. I do not think that my parents raised us wrong. I think they raised us in a way that they took some of, like, their childhood raising, and they did the

[Alessandra]

best that they could with what they

[Lindsay Chrisley]

had and very much Southern culture.

[Alessandra]

Oh, a hundred percent.

[Kale]

Oh, I was. I'm Roman Catholic. Like, I was. I grew up in Roman Catholicism. And so for Some. Something that I struggle with is guilt. Like, because that's really ingrained in you is, like, the guilt. So a lot of decisions that I would make would be, like, guilty. I'd feel guilty about, like, saying something or addressing something. But to what you were saying about your experience in your relationships, like, yeah, of course we can all say what we're gonna do in a situation until we're in it.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Life experience is how you learn. And unfortunately for people like you and I, I. We have to. We can't experience it through other people.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, I know. I'm never going to be able to give advice about something that Ivan, somebody's

[Lindsay Chrisley]

probably going to clip this. Whenever I say it, maybe it will

[Alessandra]

be me,

[Lindsay Chrisley]

but I'm going to say it because it's true. There are certain things in my lifetime that my parents have collectively warned me against, and I chose the opposite thing. And when I look back on it and it. I'm like, if I would have just listened to them, the road would have been easier traveled. But is it my personality that I need to travel that road as a lone soldier and have that experience to truly understand it?

[Hallie Kate]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

And that's. That's life. Like, people could want the best for you and think, okay, Lindsay, you can go down road A in your life and this problem will be solved. You won't have to deal with xyz, but gut. You want to take road B because you. That's what your gut is telling you at that time.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I also just to kind of go back to the court situation and that whole diabolical mess. I also want it to be clear that that situation wasn't something that I brought on. That situation was a situation of. And maybe this is just. Just my opinion, and you two can chime in, but that situation was a situation of, let me try to get ahead of this situation, and then got caught essentially with pants down, and I didn't have any control over that.

[Alessandra]

I think here's my. My thought. I think there had to be an extreme way to you for you to get out of that pattern. And that was the extreme way. I mean, the facts are the facts. You're not the one on the phone, you know, and, you know, I think it had to happen that extreme way where somebody was literally forced out of your life to go, whoa, what am I doing? And I think a lot of people will judge and say, why would you stay?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You don't know until you've never been there.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Until you're walked in somebody's exact situation. You have no room to talk.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And it's so easy to judge. I've been guilty of it, like, judging somebody's situation. And I'm like, wait, I haven't been there. Like, I have not walked that road. I don't know what that is like.

[Kale]

Well, also, like, people are so ignorant about abusive relationships. I mean, it takes on average a woman seven times to leave. And I 100 agree with Madison. Like, it was going to take something like this where you were forced out of it. And I say that from experience. Like, my ex was so abusive and crazy. We did it back and forth for four years. He had a baby on me, and still after six months, I was like, I'll raise somebody else's baby. I was deluded.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Me.

[Kale]

Like, me, of all people, you cannot say something until you're in it. And people like that are good. What did you say earlier? He learned you on purpose. He mirrored you. He learned how to manipulate you and become the man that you wanted him to be, not the man he was in order to manipulate you. It's a lot easier to say because

[Alessandra]

he saw an opportunity.

[Kale]

Can you say that, like, to some degree about, like, how it's easy to say what you would do in a situation, but, like, there takes levels for it to get here. There's. Relationship doesn't start like that. It starts with the love bombing and the manipulation.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, I think. And also here it's like, noticing patterns and love. Love bombing. And narcissists love to do that and see an opportunity and take a hold of it. And you think, oh, my God. Let's say for an example, your favorite color is purple and your favorite show is. I don't know. This is just on my mind T. Mom. Okay. Oh, my God. Look, Lindsay, I got this purple sweater for you. I know purple's your favorite color. I'm gonna start wearing purple. Oh, my God. Let's watch team mom together. Are you caught up on that episode? I know you've been watching it with me. They try to match your personality. So you think, oh, my God, this person knows me so well and is, like, really interested in me. Well, and in fact, it's all intentioned, and it's not.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I think what people don't know about me because sometimes I feel like I come across a little harsh and, like, guarded, but I truly am a lover girl. Like, I just want to be in a loving, solid relationship.

[Alessandra]

You have a big heart, and it's like, people don't see that. I see how you take care of Jackson You. I mean, that video that you sent in the Coffee Combos group chat of him being, like, a Velcro child, and he, like. Like, he's like, I'm not a Vulcar child. What are you talking about? And he's holding your hand, and there's.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And laying on my lap, and he's like, there's no other seats. And it's like, six other seats available.

[Alessandra]

That's everything I need to know about how you love and how you bond. Like, you know, and just because you come up colder, harsh, you're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. And that's fine.

[Kale]

But that's also, like, publicly. Yeah, I feel like publicly you, like, really like somebody, because we talked about this on the Coffee Combos episode where, like, you're not a casual dater. So, like, you're going to like someone and you're going to give them that lover girl energy immediately. And those kind of people who, unfortunately are manipulative, prey on that. And that comes from. I gave everybody wifey treatment. Everybody wifey treatment. Why?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, that is not a good point. Like, as much of a lover girl as I am. And Alessandra was saying behind the scenes that, like, in my personal life, I am very loving and caring person to the people that are close to me. But publicly, like, I might come across one way because I'm guarded, obviously, because of things that have transpired, but I do give off, like, that wifey energy pretty much immediately because I'm investing my whole self into that person. Like, I'm pouring all of me into that person. And I want to be a wife. I want to be somebody's life partner. I want to raise kids with someone. I want to have the home life. I want to have dinner at night, every night at a kitchen table. Like, I want to do all of that stuff. And so sometimes I feel like I pour into situations that aren't deserving of it yet. And that's something that I'm learning, and it's not necessarily fair. When I look back on my life, I was much more guarded when I started dating Will than I have been with these other men.

[Kale]

That makes sense.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Why do you.

[Alessandra]

Why do you think that is?

[Will (IQ Bar Ad Voice)]

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[Jazz]

Not to be a stereotype or anything, but I am one of those go, go, go girls. So I have so much stuff that's always on my plate, and I always try to grab something on the go after the gym, and it's always so hard to find something that's actually Going to be good tasting and good for you.

[Alessandra]

Right?

[Jazz]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

brainiq well, Will was my, I had a high school boyfriend, but I would say significantly older. But when we're talking about like the 16 year gap, that that significant. He was a junior in college when I was a junior in school. High, high school. And I've said he was my dad's summer intern and that's a whole another situation.

[Alessandra]

But that's another thing to unpack later on.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yes, it is.

[Alessandra]

We are having a person from Age of Attraction on, by the way. Oh really?

[Kale]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

I'm excited about that. Yeah. Anyway, go.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So that was my first boyfriend but when I say boyfriend, it was more of a situation. Like he went on family trips with my family and did you sleep in separate bedrooms? Sleep in separate bedrooms? Only. Only ever kissed, like holding hands at the table. No.

[Alessandra]

Oh, okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Will was truly like my first partner.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, but I would say even though I had the boyfriend in high school, I wouldn't really consider it because it was so monitored if that makes sense.

[Alessandra]

Like, like, yeah, it's your little boyfriend. You go to prom together, you go on your dates to the movies. You know, it's not really like you're 100. You're also just like not there emotionally,

[Lindsay Chrisley]

like to really like you don't really know.

[Alessandra]

Just somebody to hang out with, have fun with. And I mean at the point where you're sleeping in separate bedrooms, like it's okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, no, that's just like not a thing.

[Alessandra]

And if you love whoever you are

[Lindsay Chrisley]

out there, if you thought that in high school that Todd Chrisley's daughter was going to be sleeping in his lake house. House with some grown man, that was just not happening like that. No. You're not even going to a movie room unsupervised. Like, you guys can sit right here on this couch where I can see you. And some people might disagree with that, but I do agree with that parenting, and we can get into that another time. But Will truly was the first thing that I felt.

[Alessandra]

You could put your guards down.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, like, full control of. Like, I felt like I was in. And not. Not by control of him, but I felt in control of myself in that, like, I had the right to make those decisions, and it was my life, and this is what I was doing. And so I feel like I very much vetted that situation. I also was, like, new in college, new out on my own, and I needed to make the right decisions because I didn't want to disappoint my parents, too, you know? And so I'm trying to navigate, like, this adult life, so I do feel like I was more guarded. And now because I am more. What's the word, Alessandra? I'm more. What do you mean? It's, like, where you're more, like, settled in life.

[Alessandra]

Like.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

What's that word?

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

More established with established.

[Alessandra]

Okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Now that I feel like I'm more established and I'm not doing things to, like, please other people, I have let my guard down and have vetted a lot less because I somewhat trusted myself. And I'll be perfectly honest with you, after this last hoorah of what I did, I don't trust myself right now.

[Alessandra]

And that's. What is this? These 362. Whatever. We'll have a count on every episode at this point.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

We are on day 360. Well, what was. What day are we on? Let's actually look that up.

[Alessandra]

Let me see.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Because you said Thursday was your first

[Kale]

day of last week.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Alessandra]

So we're almost 300.

[Kale]

Let me see. I would say 360, but it's been 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 days since that day. So. 359.

[Alessandra]

359 days. And I think in those.

[Kale]

How.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

How is it? Oh, yeah, because it's 365. Yeah.

[Alessandra]

And those. Oh, my God.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm like, did we do the math wrong?

[Alessandra]

There was a tick tock I reposted recently. That was like, me because, like, I don't have to deal with, like, dumbass math ever again. And I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So 359 days. And I know it sounds. Sounds so stupid to some people, but

[Alessandra]

I just feel like Accountable by putting that countdown out there, Such a big

[Lindsay Chrisley]

step for me to just say, hey, guess what? Like, this is the decision that I've made, and this is the decision that I am sticking to, and no one can talk me out of it. It's not happening. I have gotten a lot more comfortable with because there. There was a situation where someone kind of like. Like, tried to swoop in, right? And it's like, do you understand, like, what I just went through? Like, you have no idea what I just went through, and you've got to be so careful. And I can say this truly, because I never healed from my relationship with Trent, and in fact, I never. I never have healed fully from my divorce. And so going from relationship to another relationship to another relationship, you haven't given

[Alessandra]

yourself a moment to breathe.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I haven't. And I feel like that's equally not fair to the person that's getting involved with me because I don't have anything to pour to them. Like, my cup is completely empty. Like, I am running on absolute fumes at this point. And so why would I put myself into a situation where I think something's going to turn out good when I have nothing to give to it?

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale]

Well, also, like, you don't want that, right? Like, you learned from the past situation. And because you are such a lover girl, if you were to get into a relationship, you would put so much into it, and I would be worried about you, because you need to be.

[Alessandra]

You need to be that lover girl to yourself. Be obsessed, which you already love a routine, but even be more hyper obsessed with the routine.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I mean, you know, and, like, fall

[Alessandra]

in love with doing things just for Lindsay again, you know, I was having pillow talk.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And nobody misconstrue this before you try. I was having pillow talk with Kale and Ike the other night, and we were just, like, talking about the fact.

[Alessandra]

I'm sorry, but with the disclaimer, it's crazy anyway, go.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But we were having pillows talk and just talking about, like, life stuff, and I'm like, no, this is, like, actually what I need. And do you guys understand, like, how good it feels to not feel obligated? And I know obligated is a crazy word. With the next statement that I'm about to make feel obligated to be in communication with someone.

[Alessandra]

Even last night, you were so relieved. You're like, we're in the car on the way to the Webbies. You're like, I don't have to text somebody right now. You're just, like, looking at outside you're enjoying yourself.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Assessing the scene.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Like Lucy was taking it all in last night.

[Kale]

Well, and I think that's indicative of the control that that person was able to get over you so covertly. It's not like something that's so like in the forefront. They do it so slowly and it made you feel like you had to do those things.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I feel like to some degree I, I wanted to do those check ins and be in communication because that is part of being in a relationship.

[Alessandra]

To an extent.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

To an extent. However, it got to a point for me where it started stressing me out that I couldn't enjoy what I was doing in the moment.

[Alessandra]

Present. If. Yeah, if you're.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Because I was mentally present somewhere else.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. And there's ways to like properly communicate with a partner. Like if you're not going to be fully present. Like, like I have in past relationships on days that I would be filming like this and we're, you have to put 110 of your attention. I would be anxious that I wasn't texting my partner. Now I'll have fun. I'll, you know, if you're socially drained by the end of the day, we'll catch up tomorrow. I love you. You know I love you. We're okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But like it was cuz that much

[Alessandra]

intensity and constant communication is not sustainable.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's not, it's not sustainable. And you will eventually reach burnout in relationships like that and it might work for some people and you're going to resent the out of that person 1000%. And for me just to be able to say to Kale and Ike, like, do you guys know how nice it is to be in this Airbnb and to be able to go to bed by myself and to be able to walk to the refrigerator and not worry about my phone being in the bedroom, like that is a form of extreme control and you don't notice it until

[Alessandra]

you're out of it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But that is extremely scary. But also it's partially my problem and it's partially my fault because number one, I have allowed it and number two, I perpetuate it by giving into it. So I just feel so good to be able to say, like, when I leave New York tomorrow, I have plans to go home, take two days off, I'm going in. Dnd respectfully, no one texts me. I'm going to Pilates, I'm getting back on my routine. I'm going to have dinner with myself, I am going to have my hair done. I'm going to get a massage. I'm going to get a wax.

[Podcast Host / Narrator]

Don't really know why I need one.

[Alessandra]

You know why. Summer's coming up. You don't have to worry about anything tweaking out. But you know, of the bikini, I

[Lindsay Chrisley]

need a wax because I haven't had one in however many 28 days ago was when I posted that I haven't had one since before then. And thank you for keeping me updated

[Alessandra]

on your gooch situation in the wax. I was for sure. I was really concerned about that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, everyone needs to know exactly when my last waxing appointment was. But I think it's also fair and. And I don't want it to be missed that you can go through a hard time in a relationship and things not turn out in a positive way and it be so traumatizing, but still miss that person. And like, what would I. I might miss that person for a long time.

[Alessandra]

Like, I don't know. It's valid to feel that way and let yourself feel that way because if you don't let you know that missing happen and you're just suppressing it, it's gonna come out worse because you hold

[Lindsay Chrisley]

on in situations like this. You hold on to the parts that were so good.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. The idea of it. And the best parts. You're not going to be like, oh, this is when X, Y and Z happened. You're not going to think about that. You're going to think about, oh, when they got flowers for me and they did this for me and you're like psyching yourself out when you're like, in reality, it's like not was not like that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But I have to check myself because even Alessandra and Kayla saw me on Wednesday after court. Like, I got really quiet and sad and it's like I'm going to allow myself to miss the parts of that relationship that I loved. Like, I'm going to allow myself to be able to sit in that and to be able to fully process through all of that while also acknowledging the bad parts, which is why we're here.

[Kale]

It has to be in tandem because you don't get the bad without the good. And those kind of relationships, like, that's the definition of a trauma bond. Your brain is addicted to those highs and lows.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It is a trauma bond. Like you bonding over a level of trauma. And I think that that can be so dangerous.

[Alessandra]

Yes.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

The emotions are so heightened and I do feel like that I am trying to keep myself busy to some degree so that I can just like keep moving through life because everything isn't going to just stop because that stopped. And I have acknowledged that. I know that business doesn't stop, motherhood doesn't stop. My co parenting relationship with my ex husband doesn't stop. School events don't stop. Like summer's going to be here, that's not going to stop. And so I want to be able to focus on all of those things, but also not over focus on those things to the point where I am negating that I need to deal with these emotions. And so I think that's why it's good for me to be able to take off the two days last week and then to take the two days off coming up so that I can kind of sit with myself. Because a lot of times in this industry I feel like we're so intertwined with each other having conversations all day that I don't have the mental capacity to even think. And then when I go to bed, my mind is racing and then it's the. The sadness of that person not being there. And so we can continue this on the next episode because I know that Kale and Ike are trying to get into the Airbnb and we have other recordings to do so. You guys stay tuned for Wednesday's episode. If you have not followed us on at the Southern Tea podcast on Instagram, you can follow us there. You can join our Facebook group group to connect with us and our community. And if you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app. Wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast one. Hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

[Alessandra]

Do you even know what it's like to have a bff?

[Hallie Kate]

Because we sure do. We both never had sisters growing up, so we just decided to become each others.

[Alessandra]

And some may even say we're a little bit codependent, but that's okay.

[Hallie Kate]

I feel like you should be. I'm Hallie Kate.

[Alessandra]

And I'm Jazz.

[Hallie Kate]

And we figured we were already talking,

[Alessandra]

so from talking 24 7, we figured

[Kale]

why not have a public hour every single week and start a podcast.

[Hallie Kate]

If you're looking for a podcast that you can listen to while you're getting ready to go out with your girls, that feels like you're just on FaceTime. Delusional Diaries is the perfect stream.

[Alessandra]

From all of our traveling, to getting

[Kale]

married, to being dog moms, to even

[Alessandra]

our dating stories of the past that still haunt us, there's a little bit of everything.

[Hallie Kate]

So make sure you guys go stream Delusional Diaries anywhere. You listen to podcasts every Thursday.