Choosing Growth Over Headlines

Summary

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The Southern Tea: "Choosing Growth Over Headlines"

Host: Lindsie Chrisley
Guest: Kayl
Release Date: July 16, 2026
PodcastOne

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Episode Overview

This heartfelt episode of The Southern Tea, titled "Choosing Growth Over Headlines," marks Lindsie Chrisley's candid return after a significant hiatus. Joined by Kayl, the two friends and podcast collaborators lay bare the toll of living under public scrutiny, addressing recent personal struggles, the impact of complicated relationships, public controversies, legal matters, and the evolution of their platforms. The episode highlights their commitment to growth, authentic storytelling, and leaving behind tabloid-driven narratives for deeper, more intentional conversations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cumulative Toll of Public Life & Relationships

• Lindsie's Vulnerability: Lindsie opens up about the negative impact of recent years—including toxic relationships, dramatic weight changes, public scrutiny, and compounding traumas—on her mental health and self-esteem.
  • "I've always been a little tiny person, but never have I felt smaller than when I brought him with me to Dallas." (03:00)
• Kayl's Concern: Kayl addresses concern for Lindsie’s well-being, specifically referencing moments where Lindsie's eating habits were affected by controlling dynamics in relationships.
  • "It did feel very manipulative and controlling...and I don't know if it was a you decision, if it was a y'all decision." (03:02)

2. Abandonment Issues & Emotional Survival

• Lindsie discusses her deep-seated abandonment issues, admitting she accepted manipulative behavior because it felt like desire, though she now recognizes the unhealthy pattern.
  • "I think I was okay with the levels of control and the manipulation because it felt like desire. And that's just sad." (04:00)
• She highlights how survival instincts shaped her public behavior:
  • "I was handling certain of these situations out of a level of survival." (11:36)

3. Layered Trauma and Unfair Comparison

• Kayl argues listeners shouldn't compare how individuals handle turmoil, noting each person’s resilience is unique.
  • "You cannot say, oh, but Kale's showing up. That's not how...I don't know that I could handle the Kristen thing and the Chris thing, Chris and Kristen at the same time." (06:00)

4. The Business Side, Authenticity, and Stepping Back

• Lindsie explains why pre-recorded episodes weren't aired; she needed to authentically address listeners, not hide behind content produced before her personal crises.
  • "We could have aired those in vain and moved on…but for my voice to not be on the show until I could come back and directly address the audience for whatever I wanted to address." (07:58)

5. Public Mistakes, Reader Feedback, and Growth

• Both women reflect on using their platforms for public venting, admitting some content should have stayed private. They express regret but frame it as part of their learning process.
  • "I think sometimes people still look at us somewhat as young kids." (31:18/Lindsie)
• Kayl echoes the impact of online negativity:
  • "If you feel that way, imagine how we feel about ourselves. And then to read it in text from somebody else can be incredibly difficult." (31:42)

6. Handling Ongoing Legal Matters

• Lindsie clarifies she won't speak further on ongoing legal issues (such as her recent arrest and past relationship legal matters) as they are out of her hands, instead focusing on personal growth.
  • "I've taken this very seriously. I have to focus on at this point moving forward, growing and letting the legal process run its course and respecting that process." (16:27)
• Kayl supports this decision, noting:
  • "I do not think that a DUI or a DUI left safe would be the end all, be all of this podcast or our friendship or my support for you." (17:19)

7. Chasing Headlines vs. Chasing Growth

• Lindsie and Kayl critique the inclination to respond to every headline, stating it’s time to operate with intention, not just out of drama or pressure.
  • "We get into a game of chasing a headline…it's like, okay, well this is out there and so I need to do this." (27:37/Lindsie)
  • "Sometimes we don't know…we're giving life to things that don't need to be discussed." (27:55/Kayl)

8. Therapy, Accountability, and Healing

• Lindsie reflects on stepping away from therapy and feeling overwhelmed by therapeutic settings during crises, while acknowledging therapy provided accountability.
  • "When your life feels so heavy, going into a therapeutic setting almost made it feel heavier." (37:51)
• The two discuss the limits of talk therapy, the need for self-trust, and the reality that awareness alone isn't enough—action and grace are also necessary.

9. Looking Forward: Podcast Evolution & Personal Rebranding

• Both hosts acknowledge the era of the show is ending—it's a "funeral" for the old podcast—and a new, more intentional phase is beginning.
  • "This is the funeral for old coffee combos." (52:04/Kayl)
• Plans for future episodes are uncertain, but they emphasize a commitment to content that aligns with their current selves and serves their audience authentically.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the weight of public opinion:

  • "There can be a plethora of great comments…and then you see the one bad thing and you fixate on it. That's not just us, that's anybody that is publicly followed." (28:21/Lindsie)

• On intention:

  • "I want this—if we're going to keep coffee combos—it needs to be conversations that you'd have with your girlfriend over coffee...I don't want the mean girl energy." (55:38/Kayl)

• On extending grace:

  • "I am a huge grace extender. And I think in situations when someone's outwardly acknowledging the fact that they're struggling, then at that point I do believe that grace should be extended for sure." (46:21/Lindsie)

• On holding herself accountable:

  • "I've had to start re-establishing trust within my own self. And I think that's a very hard thing to do. It's great that I realize that and acknowledge it, but just because you acknowledge something, it doesn't stop there." (46:21/Lindsie)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:03 – Lindsie opens up about the impact of her relationships and mental health
• 03:02 – Kayl voices concern about Lindsie’s well-being and weight changes
• 04:00 – Lindsie describes accepting control as a surrogate for love
• 06:00 – Kayl on unfair comparisons between women's resilience
• 07:58 – Behind-the-scenes business decision to delay Lindsie’s return
• 11:36 – On public missteps as survival, not strategy
• 16:27 – Lindsie addresses ongoing legal issues
• 17:19 – Kayl assures her support is unconditional, despite public drama
• 27:37 – Lindsie and Kayl on chasing headlines vs. authenticity
• 31:18 – Lindsie on being seen as a child by the public, despite growth
• 37:51 – Lindsie recounts leaving therapy due to emotional exhaustion
• 41:43 – Lindsie pinpoints five years of compounding traumas as context
• 46:21 – On accountability, grace, and rebuilding self-trust
• 52:04 – "Funeral" for the old podcast and preview of new beginnings
• 55:38 – Commitment to intentional, non-toxic content going forward
• 57:31–58:56 – Emotional closing—mutual love, apologies, and gratitude

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Episode Takeaways

• Raw and open: Lindsie and Kayl do not shy away from discussing their worst moments, missteps, and ongoing struggles.
• Commitment to change: Both are clear that they're leaving behind old patterns—not only personally, but in the style of their podcasts.
• Focus on growth: The future will emphasize content with intention and substance; drama for drama’s sake is out.
• Listener gratitude: Sincere thanks for support, patience, and grace during difficult transitions.

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If You Only Listen to a Few Segments

• 02:03–05:43: Deep dive into personal toll of public life and relationship toxicity
• 16:27–20:01: Handling ongoing legal drama and its business, emotional, and public ramifications
• 27:37–30:55: Candid conversation on chasing headlines and public misperception
• 52:04–56:18: Announcing the direction of the podcast and formal end of its prior era

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Final Message

“Thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you for waiting on me, thank you for being patient, thank you for those of you who've been kind...I'm ready to start riding the highs. Thanks for the support, thanks for the grace, thanks for any of the encouragement…”
— Lindsie Chrisley (58:56)

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For listeners new or old, this episode marks a turning point: a commitment to intentional conversation, self-accountability, and evolving beyond the headlines.

Transcript

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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true to her roots.

I am a functioning non functioning human being right now. Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea. That is the tea. Here's Lindsay. Hey y'.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

All.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Welcome back to the Southern Tea. I have missed you guys so much. And if you're joining from Coffee Convos, thank you so much for coming over. This episode is a continuation of the conversation that Kale and I reported together in person over the weekend in Philly. We, we wanted to keep this conversation together so that we're picking up exactly where we left off. So let's get into it.

If we're, if we're following a story and we've pretty much chronologically gone on an order from, from time that certain events have happened that the toll on my mental health, how it has impacted my confidence, how it has impacted my decision making and genuinely my overall well being. I've always been a little tiny person, but never have I felt smaller than when I brought him with me to Dallas. And I look back on that footage, and I'm like, how did I get there?

[Kayl]

Really?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I look back on it. Ike's in the room with us, and he's shaking his head. Yes.

[Kayl]

Really? I thought you guys had a good time in Dallas.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, I'm talking about, like, how I looked.

[Kayl]

Oh, oh, oh, your size.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, I will say it's concerning.

[Kayl]

I was concerned about your weight when we went to dinner with the company, with executives, and you are sharing a plate with your boyfriend. That was concerning to me because I said, what in the Is going. Why are you not eating your own plate? It felt like a control issue. It felt like an eating disorder. It felt like, what are you doing? You don't. You don't. You can get yourself a plea and you don't have to eat the whole thing. But, like, it did feel very manipulative and controlling. And I don't know if it was a you decision, if it was a y' all decision. I don't know what that was, but that was concerning, I think,

[Lindsay Chrisley]

from all the things that I've been through in the last five years, that. And I hope people understand where this is coming from. I very much struggle with abandonment issues, and I think that those are deeper than what anybody actually knows, because I have to see a lot of stuff in public.

[Kayl]

I know.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so I think because. And we can call me, and I'm sure a lot of people will. You can call me a pick me. You can call me, whatever. It's not going to change the way that I feel and the way that I've operated. But I think I was okay with the levels of control and the manipulation because it felt like desire. And that's just sad. Um, my diet completely changed when he and I started dating. Um, my routine, my habits, everything changed. And I think when you're going through it, you don't realize it until it's, for me, almost too late.

[Shannon Maldonado]

Right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But I think so much changed in my life through that relationship for. I mean, it was two years. It was something that I latched onto when I had nothing else.

[Kayl]

But I think that that's going to resonate with a lot of people. And I know it's been difficult to articulate and. And speak about publicly, and it felt like Easter egging, but you didn't even know what was happening to you for you to even speak clearly on it all these months. And in the background of that relationship, especially around, I mean, Valentine's Day, Kristin was Already gone. Now we're talking about, like, layered things, one on top of another. It's not like this is happening. It's done. We figured it out, and then something else happens. It's. This is happening for these months on top of it. This is happening on top of it. This is so. It's just layered and layered, and people I think are like, oh, well, if you talk about it one time or two times, then you're done. We move on and it's the next thing. No, these things were still going on simultaneously.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I think that that's the point that, that I want to make, that this is like a layered, complex situation. This wasn't, you know, like one thing happened and the next year, like this happened. This has all been with. Since January.

[Kayl]

I also want to say, I have read comments about. And this isn't to make you feel bad, but I want to make a point here. I've read comments, you know, in the last five weeks about, well, Kayl still shows up. Kayl has seven kids and she still shows up. Not every person can handle chaos, right? Everybody handles something differently. What I can handle, Lindsay might not be able to handle, and what Lindsay can stand through, I might not be able to withstand. So you cannot apply what my situation is to. To Lindsay's situation, and you cannot apply Lindsay's situation to mine. So you can't. You can't apply Rebecca and Alessandra and Kayla and Madison's stuff to meet. What they go through, I might not be able to handle. So to sit there and compare the two of us, and maybe you guys don't even realize that you were doing that, and it was maybe coming from a place of frustration. You cannot say, oh, but Kale's showing up. That's not how that you can't. Because I don't know that I could handle the Christian. Imagine I was going through the christen thing and the Chris thing, Chris and Kristen at the same time. No, I. I don't know that I would be able to get up at all.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I mean, I think it's. It's fairly clear and it's not offensive to me that there are certain things that you do much better than me

[Kayl]

and there are things that you do that are better than me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I could not.

[Kayl]

Do you think I would have ever done this? You're going through all this shit and you're trying to align your thoughts, and I can't even fucking put my thoughts on paper.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I could never have seven children and go through the things that I've just gone through and be able to show up. And I want people to understand that. Like, and this is not to make light of this word, but depression is a real thing. And knowing that I laid in bed for an entire week and essentially didn't move, I don't know if that. At first I thought that was reflecting, but now I look back on it and I'm like, no, I think there might have definitely been some reflection, but do I think it was way deeper than just reflecting also? Yes.

[Kayl]

And it could have been longer.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And, you know, again, this is a business. Kale and I had multiple conversations. We did already have these prerecorded episodes done prior to any of this taking place. And we could have aired those in vain and moved on and then still done this episode. But the business decision that was made was that for my voice to not be on the show until I could come back and directly address the audience for whatever I wanted to address. And so, you know, yes. Did I not show up for five weeks? Accurate. Did we also have five weeks of content that we could have used that we chose not to as a business also, yes. And I want it to be clear. No one gets to make those decisions other than Kale and I.

All right, y'.

[Kayl]

All.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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I do just want to look back for a second on things that I've said and certain times how I've shown up publicly I am not proud of. I think that it was coming from a place of being overwhelmed and very much struggling. And I think I was struggling far more than I knew that I was. And now in a self reflection moment, I know that I did not govern myself and handle some of these situations in the best way that I possibly could, but I think I was handling certain of these situations out of a level of survival.

[Kayl]

What do you I don't know what you're referring to.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like when didn't I think the on and off, you know, with David and publicly like Easter egging Instagram stories and talking about small little tidbits of things that happened with Kristen to try to feel like a level of emotional reprieve that wasn't for the public to consume. That was something that I should have been handling privately and not acting like a child on social media.

[Kayl]

Well, I think I can take accountability for that as well. The David piece of it all. I think that unfortunately that was already so public. Agreed. And also when it, when you're in toxic relationships like that, I think that nobody can think clearly. Otherwise. If you were thinking clearly in that relationship, you wouldn't have been in it to begin with.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Correct.

[Kayl]

So I will defend you there. I think that you need to give yourself some grace on, on that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

The last thing that, that I want to say on the, the David situation is I don't feel like I gave a ton of details, but with that being said, it is an ongoing legal matter that genuinely no longer involves me. That's the state and I'm gonna leave it there. I think that I've had enough time to self reflect, have had enough time to process what actually transpired and I am thankful that, that I'm moved on and I'm gonna leave it alone.

[Kayl]

I respect that. And I think, to be honest with you, I don't think after this episode that anyone really needs to hear about it at all. And I would also argue that even whatever happens in court, we don't really need to discuss it because to your point, it's with the state and that's something that, you know, if you guys are not together, which you're not, and you know, to leave it alone and to execute what we wanna do moving forward, you know, you and I can have private conversations about anything, Reg, or you can have private conversations with your other friends. I don't think that that is something that needs to be discussed here anymore.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think it's a situation we just. There was a hard stop. There is no communication. There will never be any communication. There is, is no need for communication. So there will be no updates on,

[Kayl]

on my behalf and no reacting to whatever he. Whatever happens in court and stuff.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, no, I would agree.

[Kayl]

I think that's best for your mental health and also just for the sake of your business, because I don't. I feel like for so long this podcast became kind of like what we should have left in the group chat.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

We definitely should have left it in the group chat.

[Kayl]

No, I'm not blaming you for the David stuff.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm just saying no, like in totality,

[Kayl]

like a lot of things that we've discussed here or Easter egg in here could have just been discussed in a group chat. Or on the phone or whatever.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And, you know, and Kayla and I are both at fault for that because I can't tell you how many times we have been in recordings and we're so invested in what the conversation is and what we're talking about that it's almost like you forget that you're doing it on a podcast and then you're like, oh shit, that aired. Like, we actually just did that. And people who have never, I guess, been behind a microphone or behind a camera on TV don't really understand that when you've lived that life for such a long period of time, there's a really hard line between, like a separation of, hey, this is what we're doing for entertainment and this is our real life. And so I know you haven't had the best moments on Teen Mom. You've had some great ones and then you didn't have some good ones. And same thing for the podcast, same thing for me. And if we are going to focus on moving on and not. I don't like the word rebranding ourself.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

Why?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Because we're humans.

[Kayl]

I'm going to rebrand myself.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I just don't like the word. But I think an elevation of, of our current self is important. I have one more thing to address and then I would like to dive in a little bit more on the, the restructure and like what people can look forward, moving, moving forward with coffee combos or if it, if it even is coffee convos anymore. My arrest, again, that is a ongoing legal matter. What I can say on that right now is that I've taken this very seriously. I have to focus on at this point moving forward, growing and letting the legal process run its course and respecting that process.

[Kayl]

I have commented on social media and also let people know that I couldn't give them updates because I wasn't a part of it and I didn't have information. And also, it was not my story to share. And I want to be clear with you again, I know I've told you this privately, but I also want the listeners to know is, you know, I'm deeply affected by alcohol and drunk driving as my mom drove with me drunk all the time. And I told the listeners, I don't know if you were drunk or not. I only can go off of what you've told me. And so I want that to be clear. But I also want it to be clear that I do not think that a DUI or a DUI left safe would be the end all, be all of this podcast or our friendship or my support for you. And I've told you that privately, and I want to say it publicly. I think that unfortunately, it was a huge eye opener for everything that we need. Like, fortunately and unfortunately. Right. The situation itself has opened our eyes to a lot of other things. And I think in that way is the silver lining was that whatever happens here can propel us and help us restructure and pivot. But ultimately, I don't. I don't hate you for it. And I. There's. There's nothing really on my end. I don't know what the speculation was about, you know, me dropping you because of it or you not. I didn't know what the situation was, so I was trying to be mindful of what you were going through. And that is why it was decided for you not to come on tour. Not because of the dui. Less safe.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Correct. I think, as we know, we have to. I want to be authentic enough to not feel like I'm necessarily needing to be careful with my words, because what I'm saying genuinely is from the heart. But I know that a lot of times there will be small little pieces that are taken out of things and put into a different context of the way that they were not intended. And so I think that that might have been what was lost in translation. Again, as we said earlier in this episode, it did not feel authentic, I believe, to either of us. For me to take the time to step away from the shows and focus on what I needed to focus on, but then also be kikiing on tour like that didn't feel right. And maybe after this airs, Kiel and I will have other conversations on possibly me doing a couple of the later tour dates. That has to be an internal conversation and a joint decision, though. And I. I don't think that that's a conversation for us to have on air.

[Kayl]

I agree.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I also want it to be understood that regardless of what we do or what we. What we don't do, it is put under a microscope. Certain things that I have done have made it on world news. Certain things that you have done have also done the same. And unfortunately, that is part of the territory. And this has allowed me to step back and reflect. And I do think that this was kind of like a hard stop moment for me to be like, okay, everything needs to get in line and shit needs to be gotten in order because you cannot continue going down the. The path of operating off of heartbreak and betrayal and lack of confidence. Like, you cannot continue carrying that every single day. Because I'm just going to sit in it.

[Kayl]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I think I've sat in it long enough and not to make light of anything, but a great time out for me.

[Kayl]

Yeah. And I, I think, I mean, you couldn't, not couldn't, but you weren't even really talking. Like we've had conversations. But I think that when you messaged me privately and said that this whole experience has been really isolating, I think I can also resonate with that. I felt very isolated in all of this. I didn't know how to help you. I didn't know how to continue the podcast. I didn't know which way was up. I didn't know what the right thing was to do. So while you were trying to figure it out, I was just trying to do my best. And, you know, everything will play out how it's going to play out. But I think as far as, you know, whatever transpires legally from, from this point forward will, will transpire.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Kayl]

Good life Sleep I'm going to be honest with the listeners right now and with you. Whatever comes of this case, I also don't think it needs to be discussed publicly unless you feel like you need to clarify things because nobody else was there but you. So unless you want to talk about it, I do not think that you owe the listeners good, positive or haters, you know, supporters or haters, whatever that looks like. I don't think you owe them an explanation for when this is all said and done unless you, Lindsay Chrisley, want to speak on it. And that's going either way, whether it goes, you know, in your favor or not in your favor, whatever that looks like, that should be on you to decide. I don't think that you should talk about it because you feel pressured to or you are trying to be authentic or you're trying to be honest. I think that that is, it was a. It's not con. It's not conducive. So unless you want to address it,

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think that we get into a game of, and I think this is probably true for a lot of people in the public eye that you get in the game of chasing a headline, right? And it's like, okay, well this is out there and so I need to to do this.

[Kayl]

It's difficult. But and, and I'm not trying to dismiss or, or talk down to anyone that listens to us. But sometimes we don't know. Sometimes you and I are chasing the wrong headlines. We are following up on headlines that don't need to be discussed and we're giving life to things that don't need to be discussed and we're not giving life to the ones that need to be discussed. And that is also a hard balance to do when you're dealing with it in real time.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I mean, it's true that, you know, there can be a plethora of great comments, right? And all of the supporters, all of the people who love us, and then you see the one bad thing and you fixate on it. That's not just us, that's anybody that is publicly followed, anybody that's under a microscope. That's just the name of the game. And we can't say we see it in ourselves and then refuse to change it.

[Kayl]

And we've been doing that, unfortunately. So we need to fix it

[Lindsay Chrisley]

back to the headlines. I know people often see headline and they jump on it and start making comments and start speculating. And what they don't see behind the scenes of all of that stuff is the experiences that we've had, the emotions that we carry, internal battles that happen within us, and it's a hard place to be. I can't tell you how many times over the last five weeks that I've looked at this entire situation and I'm like, it would just be better for me not to do this anymore. It would just be better for me to figure out another path. And then I pray on it. And I'm like, you know what? I don't think that God's plan for me is to step away now. I don't want to take a coward move out. And some people might say, well, the coward move was you not coming on the podcast immediately following this. That's not a coward move. That, that's, to me, that's strength to be able to see all of the things, hear all of the things from personal friends, be sent articles, and I just don't respond. And it's not to be a coward. It genuinely is to have power in my pausing and to think through all of these thoughts. I mean, one minute you wake up and you're like, well, maybe I just shouldn't do this anymore. And the next minute you, you wake up and you're like, you know what? No, I'm not going to let this be what takes me out. I'm going to let this be a moment of true self reflection that honestly should have happened five years ago and I never did it and continue to just push through and get on episodes and have funny conversations and we're on here talking about sex and people stories and whatever.

[Kayl]

I, I don't attack me here, Lindsay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I, I think that we are. While it was funny at a time, I think that you and I both have, have so moved on from that period of our lives that, you know, we're now 10 years older than what we were when we started this podcast and much older than what we were when we both were introduced publicly. And I think sometimes people still look at us somewhat as young kids.

[Kayl]

I feel like a young kid.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm not anymore. I'm a 36 year old mom that have, you know, at all times have not made the best choices. We've collectively watched them play out. And, you know, I'm trying my best. I'm my biggest critic. So I don't need, you know, necessarily the criticism to make changes. I criticize my own self.

[Kayl]

Yeah. I think that through all of this, especially over the last couple months, I will say, like, yes, we respect the constructive criticism, but some of the criticisms, if you feel that way, imagine how we feel about ourselves. And then to read it in text from somebody else can be incredibly difficult. And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what people are expecting you to fully say about the most recent situation, but to your point, over the last couple weeks, and maybe like six weeks, ish. I have also been wondering, should I also be done. Was this a sign for us to both be done with coffee combos, podcast, period? Not just you stepping away, but do I also walk away not from my other shows, but from this one specifically? Like, is this a sign that, you know. But then I, I would go back to. And I'm just not ready to give it up. And I, I do feel like there is a world where, the same way that people grew up with us on reality tv, that he can grow up with us on this podcast and moving forward. I think that I. Great. I have talked about shitting myself. We can move on now. We can. You know, I think, and I've said it at Fatherless Behavior tour stops, is that Fatherless Behavior is the end of that era. Like, yeah, it's, it's funny and it's whatever sometimes. But I think to your point, we've all kind of grown and I'm ready to move on and I want to create different content. I think we can still be funny and we can still talk about our experiences in life and I think we can still be relatable in a lot of ways. But I don't think that some of the things that we've talked about on the same podcast over the last several years, I think we can leave it where it was. It was an era. It was a. We're evolving. Just like you personally and you acknowledging all of your traumas over the last. Not just these last six months, but Your traumas that go deeper than that and from years prior. And in no way am I saying that your traumas are an excuse for your arrest. Right? But you have to understand the back, the backstory and the where you were at mentally to lead you to this point. And now we're acknowledging it, we've opened our eyes and we're going to make changes and we want to move forward in a real way and in a positive way. And I don't think that, I don't think if we continue the way that we were, it would be possible to do this elevation.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think sometimes we come on the podcast and get caught up in like what we, we have found to be funny and humorous and kind of a, a step away from our actual reality of, you know, things that are going on. It's easy to, to get on there and, you know, make a joke about shitting yourself. Like, I mean, let's be so for real. But at the same time, we as humans are selling ourselves short because if we are going to engage with an audience like this that is dedicated to us and we want to be dedicated to them, then we need to provide them content of who we actually are and who we have evolved to be. And just getting on here, shooting the shit for one hour, I don't feel is in our best interest anymore.

[Kayl]

We have to offer something I think there, we need to figure out what it is that is authentic to us now. Not saying that we haven't been authentic up to this point because I mean, real life, I did myself, right? But what is, what is real life for us now? What can we offer now?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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this podcast is sponsored by Talkspace.

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Last year I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and examine how I was feeling in the inside to better show up for the ones who need me to be my best version of myself.

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

do want to touch on one point. Prior to some of this stuff happening, I had made the decision to step away from therapy and I would love to get your perspective on that. I don't, and maybe the listeners will understand this and be able to give some insight. But when your life feels so heavy, going into a therapeutic setting almost made it feel heavier, if that makes sense. Like I'm dealing with this in my real life, in real time, and then I'm trying to come to a therapeutic setting to talk about it, but I don't have the answers. I don't know how I want to handle it. I would literally need to take a nap after therapy and I'm like, this is making me exhausted. But then I look back on when the last time I went to therapy was and to some degree whether I felt the conversation was productive or not. I do feel that there was a level of accountability there.

[Kayl]

I'm not going through what you went through and I'm also struggling. I sometimes don't think that talk therapy is enough. I think that and depending on where you live. And we've talked about this, too. Like, resources are limited in Delaware. Right. And sometimes I'm gonna be honest, sometimes I don't think that there is an answer that therapy can give. Sometimes I think it's just going to talk therapy. You're getting it out of your system. You're taking accountability for what it is, and that feels heavy. Or you're digging for something that's not there. Sometimes there's no explanation, period, Full stop.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I mean, Kale, I. I want to be honest with everyone. I was actively going to therapy to get over a relationship and to remove myself from a situation that I would quite literally leave that therapy session and go right back to it.

[Kayl]

Yeah, but that's. I think that's a lot of people, and that's why I say sometimes I. I think it's not enough because I was doing the same thing.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

In this current time, I'm trying to figure out, you know, is talk therapy enough?

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Do.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Do I need to get back in that? Is there another type of therapy that I could get into that would be, you know, more beneficial? I remember telling you that I wanted to do emdr, and I wasn't even in a can. I was not even a candidate for EMDR yet. Because you have to be a candidate for that, essentially.

Yeah.

For it to be. For it to be effective from. From my understanding. And so, you know, like, when you want to fix something so bad and then you're told, well, you need to go through this step first to be able to get there, it feels like such an uphill battle that. That you're climbing. That I was just finally like, fuck it. I guess I'll just be fucked up.

[Kayl]

I did not know that. I mean, yeah. Like, at that point, you're like, I'll just accept myself or the way that I am at that point. Because, I mean, what else can you. I'm not saying don't do the uphill battle. Right. Like, that's not what I'm saying. But I could. I could. I could understand feeling defeated, for sure.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. I think defeat is. Is the perfect word for that. And I. You know, with all of these situations that have collectively happened, I know that I have to do something other than sit with myself, because oftentimes when I feel disappointment or I feel shame, those are the worst feelings that you can have with yourself when you're sitting alone. But I know I have to do something. I just don't know necessarily what that something is.

[Kayl]

Do you think that your state, your state of mind and sort of everything that's transpired this year specifically kind of led you to. I don't. I hate to call it this, but you understand, like risky behavior or just not making great decisions.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think a compounding of literally the last five years is the time that I would pinpoint it from the time of going through divorce. I mean, I think people very much underestimate, like, a divorce is a heavy thing. When I don't take divorce lightly at all. We've talked about that. But with somebody I'm divorcing somebody who was my best friend and the only partner that I had ever known. And so it was much deeper than a divorce to me. And simultaneously, my parents were also indicted at that time. There had been a reconnection with my family. And so trying to reestablish some of that while also something else breaking and then the trial and that being so public. And it's like, yes, that at the end of the day, ultimately that that was my parents, but. But still connected to it. Right. And then following that was a string of unhealthy relationships. And I think that that looking back on it now, after a decent amount of self reflection, I had actually zero business being in any relationship.

[Kayl]

Oh. I mean, I got kids for all the ones I shouldn't have been in. So I can resonate with that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You know what I mean?

[Kayl]

Shut up. Yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean. But I'm trying to give.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But then you feel, like, so lonely. So then I got in these relationships and then one thing led to the next thing, and then here we are, fast forward years later. I never thought from the time that Kristin started working with me that she would be out of my life. I thought she would be. I thought that she would be a fixture in my life until one of us died.

[Kayl]

Oh, no doubt, no doubt.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so, you know, that transpired and then simultaneously, the. The David stuff is. Is transpiring. I. I do think that it caused a lapse in judgments, for sure. I think it's caused me to question a lot of things that I never thought in my lifetime that I would question. So, yes, I do think that all of this stuff has caused some poor decision making, for sure.

[Kayl]

I also just want to say too, like anybody who's going to say, well, she needed to get herself into therapy or she needed to not be in that relationship or she needed to not. You don't know until you know. And it's easier for people on the outside of the tornado. They're not in the eye of the Storm or the hurricane, what. Whatever the fuck the saying is, if you're not. When you're in it, you cannot see what everybody else sees. So it doesn't matter if people around you are blue in the face telling you, lindsay, this isn't good for you. Lindsay, do this. Lindsay, you shouldn't do that. Lindsay, this, Lindsay, that you cannot. You're not going. Nobody is. I mean, how many of us make decisions that we shouldn't make? And then we recognize after the fact that hindsight is 20 20. And then you're recognizing what everybody else saw the whole time. You cannot know until you know.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think that's so true. But I, you know, also have to take accountability for sure. Me knowing and trying to put a band aid on it.

Right.

And. And I am very guilty of not being approachable. So if I am dead set that I'm gonna do something, I will tell you, fuck you to your face. And that is what it is. Like, I don't need your opinion. I don't need. I need actually nothing from you. And so I think a lot of things that, that have gone on since January, people could have sent me warning after warning after warning. And if I didn't want to hear it or I was not approachable to be able to have a conversation, an adult conversation with somebody that had concern for me. You know, essentially I put myself in

[Kayl]

these situations, but that's what I'm saying. Nobody is approachable during times like this. If you're not thinking clearly and it's compounded issues and it's layered upon layered upon layered. You are never going to hear what someone has to say, right? How many times did you stand by me while I was with in a toxic relationship? And you knew it wasn't good for me, but you knew I was going to do what I was going to do regardless. And I'm not making excuses for you. I'm just. Everybody wants grace, but nobody's willing to give it. And I think that they need to recognize that this is not just like, oh, dui less safe. Oh, Lindsay's so irresponsible. Right? Like there's more to it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I will say I have had to start re establishing trust within my own self. And I think that's a very hard thing to do. It's great that I realize that and acknowledge it, but just because you acknowledge something, it doesn't stop there, right? There has to be work that has to be done to do that. And so reestablishing that level of trust within me because I have not made the best decisions over the last year. That's hard to acknowledge that I'm struggling in that area too. And I don't want people to feel bad for me. Like that's not, that's not what this is about. I would just say I am a huge grace extender. And I think in situations when someone's outwardly acknowledging the fact that they're struggling, then at that point I do believe that grace should be extended for sure.

[Kayl]

And I think from this point forward it's like, okay, we've acknowledged now let's prove not just to the it's not about the listeners and the audience, it's about to ourselves as well. It's like, okay, you've acknowledged where you're struggling and where you're whatever your decision making mindset is. So now you know, are we going to execute? Are we going to move forward? Are we going to put our money where our mouth is? Do you know what I mean? So you know, with that being said, I hope that after the five episodes that air that we can make changes here, but also in our personal lives. On the backside of it, you can't

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

all of that, I really want to focus a little bit of time about the upcoming and future of coffee combos. We have already addressed the fact that we are in development of doing that and all of those decisions are not made. And if we came on here saying, yes, we know exactly the direction it's going, we would be lying. I know that there are the episodes that are left that are going to feel like old us once this airs. Kayl and I made a collective last minute decision that it didn't feel authentic for her to record the episodes last month and then us air the pre recorded stuff as if I was back, as if it was in real time. Transparently, it was not. And that's why we made the decision to come to Delaware. I mean, to come to Philadelphia to record this so that we could pop that in the middle. I want to make it clear that we cannot every single week. There's a difference between acknowledgment and apologizing for yourself all the time and continuing to apologize. Decisions don't, in my opinion, don't define bad decisions that I have made. Don't define who I am. And I can't continue to come on the podcast every week, whether it be here, whether it be the Southern T. I can't continue apologizing for absolutely everything. And there are certain things that we just no longer can breathe air to. And you know, like we said at the beginning of this, if someone doesn't like me, go to Barely Famous. If you only like Kale. If you don't like Kale and you like me, go to the Southern Tea. That's a simple solution. Like, we are moving forward. We have a completely different direction. Everything's going to look and probably feel brand new. And I know that's a little uncomfortable for y' all probably, and, and might sound scary to you. It's also a little uncomfortable and scary to us. But if this is no longer something that, that you want to support, if this is no longer something that you can get behind, if the energy that we are currently giving or plan to give in the future is not for you, this is your stop and you can get off.

[Kayl]

I'm aligned. It's also my stop for the end. This is. Yeah, this is the funeral for old coffee combos.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

We actually talked about that in Anaheim and I think it's sad, right? It's like something that, that we've done every single week for a decade.

[Kayl]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And we're talking about a funeral.

[Kayl]

No, it's a funeral after these five episodes, though, because those are gonna feel like, like you said, the old episodes. But also, I'm just. I'm also Ready for a change. I want to change a lot of things in my life, not just coffee combos. So I think that this is the perfect timing to do that. And you know, those who will want to rock with us will stay and those who don't is fine just to touch on like the changes of coffee combos. We are working that out still. We don't know the new format of the show. I wish I could, could sit here and tell you guys, like, this will be the new format and these are the new segments and these are the new things we don't know. So while the five episodes that we pre recorded are airing, we are going to be working all of that out and trying to figure out what, what feels good for us that we think that you guys will resonate with. And there will most likely be changes and feedback and constructive criticism that will let us know what lands and what doesn't. And, and we can, can maybe address, adjust accordingly. But it's not going to be a seamless, like, okay, these five episodes are done and then the sixth episode is going to be exactly how it's going to go forever, right? Like, it's going to be a learning curve for everybody. And so I just want that to also.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think that's also a part of evolving. Like everything can't just change overnight. And I think as humans, we live in that Amazon culture, right, like add to cart, and we have it right now. And I think that you and I are going to have to figure out what feels good to us. And guess what, guys? What might feel good to me might not feel good to her, and that's okay. And what might feel good to her, I might not align with. And, and that's okay. There might be a moment in time where a segment that she feels really passionate about that I don't align with, that she wants to talk about. She might take that segment alone or vice versa. I'm totally okay with that too. But I want people to understand that, you know, there is a friendship here, there is trauma here, there is a business here, there is a loyal listenership here that we very much value. And there's been so many painful lessons. There's been so many difficult seasons. There has been growth, there has been accountability. And I think simultaneously about talking about a rebrand or restructure of this podcast. I think that, that we also have to just acknowledge the fact that, you know, this is going to be a learning curve. And I, I plan to continue sharing parts of my journey that can serve someone well. I don't plan on continuing sharing parts of my journey that feels like trauma, that feel unhealed from. I think that taking a step back, looking at my life as a whole, there are parts of me that I don't want to have for public consumption. And then there are parts of me that if I know it's going to help somebody's journey or somebody's path, that I want to continue sharing those things. But I think it is, is how I share those things, how I deliver that message and, and not for a fact of just drama.

[Kayl]

Right. I think that moving forward, we have to be intentional about what we're sharing, not strategic. They're, they're different. Right? So we're not. It's not, oh well, drama sells, right? It's intentional, it's with purpose, it's going to help somebody. It's maybe cathartic for us in some way. But I don't want to do the bash sessions. I don't want to do the talking shit about our kids, kids, dads. I don't want to talk. I don't want the mean girl energy. Right. Like, I want this. If we're going to keep coffee combos, it needs to be convert like conversations that you'd have with your girlfriend over coffee. And, and, and I'm okay with that if that's what it's going to be. But I think that we need to pick a lane and stay in it 1000%.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I want to end on this. I am fully committed to, to growing. I'm fully committed to learning. I'm fully committed to, to being the healthiest version of myself. And I hope over time there's also a rebrand that was already ready to go prior to some of these events taking place for the Southern T. And I'm excited for you guys to see that facelift. There are some things that are being buried there as well and I'm really excited for that. I want people to know that I am not making these changes that I'm talking about just for myself. I want everyone to know that the changes that I need to make, that I see in myself are changes for the greater good for everybody that is involved. Whether that be you as a listener, whether that be Kayl as a friend, whether that be other business associates that I work with, my co parenting relationship, the relationship that I have with my child. Those changes are to collectively better every single person that is involved in my life.

[Kayl]

I appreciate that and I respect it

[Lindsay Chrisley]

and I love you so much. And I'm sorry that we fought in Anaheim.

[Kayl]

So did we fight in Anaheim?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Where were you?

[Kayl]

Did we fight?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Where were you?

[Kayl]

I thought it was just a conversation. See, it was an argument, but it was like a conversation one.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

A conversation one. Like.

[Kayl]

Like, there's a fight and then there's, like, an argument. They're different. And I'm sorry we fought, but I'll end it on this. Anaheim was a show, but I will say that that needed to happen for this to happen. So we were wanting to record this in Anaheim, but I. I think if that didn't happen the way it did, we wouldn't be sitting here right now. So on one hand, I am sorry. Both of us looked each other in the face and said fuck you to each other. And not those exact words, but essentially. And so this, you know, I have to take accountability for that, too, because I don't think that, you know, my wording to you was always in the most respectful manner either. So, you know, I have to own that and apologize for that. But I'm glad that we worked it out. I'm glad that we're sitting here. I'm glad that we're gonna try. And if we try and it doesn't work, then we try. One thing I learned about my divorce was, you know, I didn't. I didn't try hard enough then. So moving forward, I want to try hard, you know, so I can say I exhausted all my resources before we called it quits.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I agree. Last note. I just want to thank you guys for anybody who's listening walking alongside us, whether that be, you know, you're here because you're walking with me, or you're here because you're walking with her. You're here because you're watching. Walking with us collectively, like, genuinely, thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you for waiting on me. Thank you for being patient. Thank you for those of you who've been kind, respectfully you, if you haven't. There's been a lot of highs and a lot of lows, and, you know, I'm ready to start riding the highs. Thanks for the support, thanks for the grace, thanks for any of the encouragement, and hopefully Kayl and I can have a conversation about me joining a tour date. So thank you guys so much for listening. We will talk to you soon.

[Kayl]

See ya.

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[Kayl]

Fantastic.

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

That is so effective on Pluto TV stream.

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Now pay never.

[For the Haters Podcast Announcer]

This week on for the Haters, a podcast around the stories that we survive. The world has been watching Kale for half of her life, and it never got the beginning. The cameras showed up at 16. Everything that built her happened before they ever started rolling. This is her story before anyone was watching. Part one of Kale's Story is out now on for the Haters. Listen to it wherever you get your podcast.