ENCORE Bottled Water & Wieners feat. Alessandra

Summary

The Southern Tea – ENCORE: Bottled Water & Wieners feat. Alessandra

Original Release: May 6, 2026
Host: Lindsie Chrisley
Guest: Alessandra, host of Vibing and Kind of Thriving

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Episode Overview

This rich, lively episode of The Southern Tea brings together host Lindsie Chrisley and guest Alessandra for an honest, funny, and occasionally vulnerable heart-to-heart. The conversation meanders through personal beauty routines, food recalls, family vacations, comparisons to the Kardashians, motherhood, co-parenting, boundaries, and even true crime obsessions. The two friends openly tackle listener questions, particularly around personal boundaries and recent friend group drama, and reflect on their spiritual journeys. The tone is candid, southern, and comedic—nothing is off-limits, but reflection and growth guide the episode.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Curly Hair Routines & Beauty Chitchat

00:42 – 02:51

• Lindsie reveals plans to try the curly girl method and asks Alessandra for advice.
  • “I think I’m gonna start doing the curly girl method, but I don’t know how to do it.” (Lindsie, 00:51)
• Alessandra shares tips: hair texture can change over time, recommends Miss Jessie’s for curls, and discusses switching from traditional dryers to blow dry brushes.
• Humorous commentary about not owning a standard hairdryer for years.
• Bond over “crunchy” beauty habits and hair experimentation.

2. Food Trends & Tomato Recall Panic

02:56 – 05:15

• Lindsie brings up a recent FDA recall for tomatoes contaminated with salmonella in southern states.
  • “People are dying from tomatoes?...The FDA labeled this as a Class 1 recall…can potentially cause serious health complications or lead to death.” (Lindsie, 03:25)
• Both discuss their love for tomatoes, seasonal cravings (like BLTs and crab cakes), and southern food nostalgia.
• Alessandra jokes about having to ship Jersey heirlooms as a solution.

3. Vacation Stories: Bottled Water & Wieners

06:06 – 07:20

• Lindsie describes her family's Bahamas trip: her son Will making “hot dogs the entire time.”
• Memorable moment: “He sent me a picture of their refrigerator, and it was like, bottled waters and wieners.” (Lindsie, 07:07)
• Episode name inspired here: “Bottled Water & Wieners.”
• Conversation about kids’ food phases and vacation quirks.

4. Kardashian Family Analogies & Friendship Dynamics

07:20 – 11:28

• Alessandra and Lindsie compare themselves and their friends to Kardashian family members (“You’d be Kourtney...Kristen is Kris Jenner...Kale would be Kim...Becky is Kendall/Kylie.”).
• Insightful discussion on group dynamics, being outspoken, and the difficulty of “keeping your mouth shut,” especially publicly.
• On internet rumors, Lindsie proposes a “conspiracy theory” episode: “I really want to do...an episode to where we get all of the conspiracy theories about each other from the Internet and for us to respond to them.” (Lindsie, 11:00)

5. Productivity: Morning People vs. Night Owls

13:31 – 16:26

• Read quotes from Kris Jenner about waking up at 4–5am and parallels to Kristen’s work ethic.
  • “If you get up at 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning, that’s essential for me...I felt like I had extra hours in a day.” (Kris Jenner quote shared by Lindsie, 13:43)
• Discuss personal routines—Alessandra as a night owl, not into early mornings, and family traditions around sleep.
• Southern expectations: always being “put together,” never leaving the house without hair and makeup, or at least a hat.

6. College Days & Mom Life

17:23 – 19:02

• Both reminisce about “homeless” college fashion (oversized tees, yoga pants) versus high school strict dress codes.
• Reflection on how motherhood reprioritizes punctuality and appearance: “I can’t make myself on time anywhere at this stage of my life.” (Lindsie, 18:26)
• Alessandra adds that moms are “always last priority.”

7. Boundaries, Phones, & Group Chats

19:02 – 22:28

• Lindsie discusses her overwhelming phone notifications and practicing “regulated boundaries:”
  • “221 missed calls, 421 unopened texts, and six emails.” (Lindsie, 19:19)
• Both admit to ignoring notifications and group chats, acknowledging the peace found in “stepping away” from their phones/social media.
  • “I love to be able to do that. Like on Friday at 5 o’clock...you probably won’t get in touch with me.” (Lindsie, 21:36)
• Talk about going off-grid, turning off location, and needing mental “detox.”

8. Listener Q&A: Divorce, “Nesting,” and Co-Parenting

23:53 – 31:32

• Address a listener question about “nesting” post-divorce (kids stay in one home; parents rotate).
• Alessandra appreciates the stability for younger neurodivergent kids but foresees potential future complications.
• Lindsie points out challenges with transitions, new partners, and maintaining healthy boundaries (“No girl is sleeping in my bed!”).
• Honest discussion about perinatal/postnatal anxiety and anxiety as a mother; Lindsie opens up about her experience co-sleeping and being “hyper diligent” during her son’s infancy.

9. Motherhood, Marriage, & Identity

33:52 – 40:43

• Alessandra shares her fears of “losing herself” in motherhood after years of nannying; she’s determined to maintain individuality.
• Lindsie reflects on how giving everything to her marriage, then to her son, left little for herself, a lesson learned through therapy:
  • “What I wasn’t giving to Jackson, Will got the leftover.” (Lindsie, 38:03)
• Both emphasize the necessity of self-care and maintaining friendships/lives outside being a mom or spouse.

10. Drama, Boundaries, and Group Dynamics: “Breadcrumbing”

42:13 – 66:01

• Address listener frustration over not revealing full details about a recent New York City trip and arguments within the friend group (notably with “David” and others).
• Lindsie transparently recounts stress building up to the trip, a fight that broke out (with alcohol involved), and her choice to “walk away rather than engage.”
  • “Never have I ever just kind of wiped my hands and I never said one word.” (Lindsie, 52:15)
• Both argue for the importance of “the power in the pause”—not instantly sharing everything, especially when processing emotional events and respecting everyone involved, even when social media demands answers.
• Alessandra: “You don’t have to explain yourself because the people that will understand you and are for you are going to be for you no matter what.” (62:12)

11. Professional/Personal Boundaries & Sharing Online

66:01 – 70:59

• Explain the blurred line between podcasting as both business and personal life and why it’s necessary to keep some details private, especially when others involved didn’t “sign up” for public scrutiny.
• On “breadcrumbing,” Lindsie says: “If I have breadcrumbed something, it’s because that is my way of letting you know that this potentially is going on...bet your ass I’m gonna speak on it at some point.” (70:41)

12. True Crime Sidebar: Idaho Four Case

71:17 – 78:59

• Dive into the Bryan Kohberger (Idaho Four) case, speculating on his guilt, his parents’ behavior, and the psychology of parents in these situations.
• Discussion of “parental denial” and referencing other publicized crime cases, such as Gabby Petito and Casey Anthony.

13. Spirituality & Faith

80:53 – 84:47

• Alessandra explains her Catholic upbringing, now identifying as agnostic; both discuss guilt, faith’s role in life guidance, and religious diversity in their friend group.
  • “At the end of the day, we respect and love for each other. That’s our commonality…” (Alessandra, 82:47)
• Weekly devotional from Lindsie: “Don’t go to bed stressing about it, go to bed praying about it. Because with your faith, it will happen.” (83:36)
• Both value being “good people” and honor the core values of kindness and reciprocity.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Bottled Water & Wieners:
  “He sent me a picture of their refrigerator, and it was like, bottled waters and wieners.” (Lindsie, 07:07)
• Motherhood Boundaries:
  “Will didn’t give Jackson his first bath until he was six months old...Looking back on it now, I’m like, that was so dumb.” (Lindsie, 34:14)
• On Friend Group Drama:
  “You can either be miserable and let whatever someone else is going through overtake you, or you can flip the switch and allow them to go through that and deal with it on your own and disengage.” (Alessandra, 51:48)
• Breadcrumbing:
  “If I have breadcrumbed something, it’s because that is my way of letting you know that this potentially is going on...bet your ass I’m gonna speak on it at some point.” (Lindsie, 70:41)
• Podcast & Privacy:
  “Our partners are not in this...when they’re in it, they’re confused or their emotions are more heightened than what ours would be.” (Alessandra, 53:56)
• Growth & Boundaries:
  “We can’t come on podcast, talk about therapy, talk about bettering ourselves, talk about, you know, creating power in the pause and then not pausing.” (Lindsie, 67:39)

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Notable Timestamps

• Hair talk & beauty: 00:42 – 02:51
• Tomato recall: 02:56 – 05:15
• Vacation antics: 06:06 – 07:20
• Kardashian analogy: 07:20 – 11:28
• Morning vs night routines: 13:31 – 16:26
• Motherhood & personal priorities: 17:23 – 19:02
• Phones & boundaries: 19:02 – 22:28
• Divorce, co-parenting Q&A: 23:53 – 31:32
• Motherhood self-identity: 33:52 – 40:43
• NYC drama & 'breadcrumbing': 42:13 – 66:01
• Sharing online vs privacy: 66:01 – 70:59
• Idaho Four discussion: 71:17 – 78:59
• Spiritual journeys: 80:53 – 84:47

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Closing

The episode closes with Lindsie inviting listeners to follow The Southern Tea on Instagram and Facebook, and Alessandra plugging her podcast “Vibing and Kind of Thriving.” The theme is one of growth, boundaries, humor, and honest southern realness—perfect for listeners seeking authentic talk about real life, friendships, motherhood, and the messiness of being both public and private.

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Summary curated in the candid and warm tone of the hosts, with a focus on openness, mutual respect, and a dash of southern charm.

Transcript

[A]

Maybe I'm just, like, weird. Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the Southern Tea with Lindsey Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back.

[B]

I don't love them.

[A]

A southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now. Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea, and nothing but the tea. That is the tea. Here's Lindsay. Good morning, and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. I am so excited this morning because I have Alessandra on here with me. Good morning.

[C]

Good morning.

[A]

Hey, y' all, listen to me right now. Look, I look like a psychopath. That's number one.

[C]

Beautiful.

[A]

I washed my hair for three days, and I couldn't wait to get on this episode with you because I think I'm gonna start doing the curly girl method, but I don't know how to do it.

[C]

Oh, that. You have great hair. I know. I look at your waves. I knew you had curls under there because when you were. When we were in New York and you were talking about blowing out your hair, you were saying that it doesn't hold a curl, and you have to. I mean, a blowout. You have to do so specific. I'm like, girl, you got waves under there. I can see our natural curl pattern.

[A]

I know. And it's like, look at. Look at this underneath.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, what? What's happening?

[C]

Yeah. I mean, first, hair can change, like, hormonally. Hair can change, like, every seven years. So if it wasn't always more textured, it could be getting more textured, like, as you're aging. But I really like miss Jessie's curls products. I like weighted curl products because they're lighter. Like, I have really thin, wavy hair. So, like, more curly hair products tend to be very heavy and, like, oily. So they weigh my hair down and, like, make it greasy. But I really like weight add products because they're a little lighter and they have different curl pattern, like, technologies, I would say. So, like, type A is really coily hair. Type C is more of a wavy hair. And they have different products to align with that, which is really nice. I saw those at Ulta.

[A]

We're gonna put a little, like, curly hair method for sure. Routine together for me, actually, somebody asked me the other day, they were like, oh, you need to, like, get the products and use the diffuser. And I said, do you realize that I have not had, like, a regular hair dryer in my house in probably seven years since the blow dry brushes came out.

[C]

Oh, I know, I know. I love my blow dry brush. That's what I use, too. Which one do you use, though?

[A]

I use. Well, I used to use the Revlon one when it first came out, but it's way too high of heat. I don't know what brand that I have now, but I just recently purchased, like, the Dyson, but like the Shark version.

[C]

Yeah, that's the one I have. They have a diffuser attachment for that one.

[A]

Oh, so I can just go.

[C]

Yeah, that. Yep, you can grab that on Shark. They have that.

[A]

Okay. I have to ask you if you have seen all over social media about the tomatoes that have been sold in three states that have been now labeled deadly by the fda?

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah. So number one, are you a tomato eater?

[C]

Yeah, look at my tattoo. Well, tomatoes.

[A]

Oh, you have a tomato.

[C]

Yeah, I love tomatoes. I grew up eating them. Like, I could eat them like an apple. My grandparents had, like, eight, like, acres of land, so they always grew tons of tomatoes.

[A]

Okay. So I'm not really that much of a tomato eater, except in the summertime, like, I will eat a good BLT with a fresh tomato. I feel like the skin. Everything's different on a fresh tomato. Than what? Oh, yeah, Restore. I also have been watching Bethany Frankel's supermodel snacks or whatever. And so she had the tomato with a cottage cheese, and then I think it was like, shaved turkey or something on top. So then when I saw this come across my for you page, I was like, wait, people are dying from tomatoes? So it says tomatoes distributed in three southern states are now the subject of possibly deadly recall. And that's according to the the FDA. It says the recall first was announced by the FDA on May 2nd for potential Salmonella contamination. It has been upgraded to the most severe warning the federal agency issues. It says that these tomatoes were distributed between April 23rd and 28th. And it says a notice published online not until May 28th. The FDA labeled this as a Class 1 recall, which is the highest recall risk level issued by the agency. And it can potentially cause serious health complications or lead to death.

[C]

Not the tomatoes. Yeah, season. Like, what are we gonna do?

[A]

I know. So I'm like, what? I can't even, like, make tick tocks of the supermodel snacks. Like, I can't.

[C]

You're gonna have to import your tomatoes. I'm gonna have to send you some jersey Heirloom tomatoes.

[A]

I cannot make a blt, which I wanted one so bad the other day. Like, I feel like, seasonally I crave certain stuff.

[C]

Oh, same.

[A]

And a BLT is on the list recently.

[C]

Well, I don't know. Do you eat seafood?

[A]

I love seafood.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, I love seafood. Crab cake has been, like, my hyper fixation, because it's just, like, summer vibes, I feel like. And I was down the shore a lot, so. Crab cake.

[A]

I had a crab cake the other day, and there's just something about it that's just like, so rich tasting that I. If I could live by the beach in the summertime to just eat fresh seafood, I would.

[C]

Goals, like, I. That is my goal. That is what I envision for myself when I'm old and retired is, like, living on the beach somewhere. I love Jersey, don't get me wrong, but I need to live somewhere tropical. Like, eventually, I want to live somewhere where, like, I don't. I just. Just live in my natural curl. Like, the place I feel the happiest is Maui. I wouldn't move there because I keep asking people to stop moving there. So I will not do that. But one day, something like it, maybe I'll move to Puerto Rico or something.

[A]

Listen, after spring break, Will and Jackson went to the Bahamas and loved it so much. Will was like, when you're grown, then I'm, like, moving off to the Bahamas. I'm taking a boat, and, like, I'm

[C]

going out of here.

[A]

And he said, I'm just gonna be, like, an island boy. I'm gonna be one with the people. And I'm like, okay, well, I guess I'm moving, too. And Jack, like, no, mom, you're. You and I are staying here.

[C]

He's like, I do not want to be one with the island or the people. He's like, I want my tech. I want my in. I mean, chick fil A, you know, he's not. He's not ready for the island life.

[A]

He is not ready for it. Will made hot dogs the entire time they were on vacation. And he came home, and he was like, mom, I never want to see another hot dog again in my life.

[C]

Why the hot dogs?

[A]

I love hot dogs.

[C]

I love hot dogs, too. But that's all. That's all he wanted. Or is that just what Will wanted?

[A]

Well, I guess Will was just being lazy as hell. And he was like, hot dogs.

[C]

That's a band for you.

[A]

He sent me a picture of their refrigerator, and it was like, bottled waters and wieners.

[C]

That's the name of this episode, Bottled water and Wiener.

[A]

I'm like, what the is your problem? Wait, are you a fan of the Kardashians?

[C]

Yes and no. I don't really, like, follow them too much, you know?

[A]

Tell me more.

[C]

I. I question some of their things. Like, I. It's. People are like, you know, just have fun, enjoy the fashion and stuff. But I'm like, Kim is just a little out there for me these days. My favorite is Chloe. Always has been Chloe. I feel like she's the realest and she's so funny. But I don't, like, watch their show much anymore, so I never know what's going on. Like, I don't know who they're dating. I don't know the tea or the drama. I don't keep up with them as much as I used to.

[A]

If you lined up me, you, Kristen, Becky, and Kale, which Kardashian are we?

[C]

Okay. Oh, that's a good one. Okay. You would be Courtney.

[A]

Yes. Everybody always says that you would be

[C]

Courtney, but, like, I feel like Courtney's an Aries, so I get her. I never got the Courtney slander. Like, Courtney just wanted to work a little bit, make bank and chill with her family. I never understood what was wrong with that. Their problem was that she didn't want to work 24 7. Great. Me either.

[A]

Does that describe me perfectly?

[C]

Like, hello. She just wanted to chill with her family. I never understood the issue. They were like, you don't have a business. Okay. Can you chill? She makes millions of dollars. She doesn't need to have another business. I never understood Courtney. I like that she has her boundaries and that she sticks firm and she is who she is. So I think you're Courtney. Kristen is Kris Jenner. She's KJ through and through. Kris Jenner to the rescue. That is Kristen. That is our momager. That is Kristen. Kyle would be Kim. I don't know if she would like that answer, but I think Kale would be Kim.

[A]

I totally agree with that.

[C]

I think y' all would be Kim. She's very Kim coded. And the sense of like. Like, you know, the iconic scene where she's like, kim, stop taking selfies. Your sister's going to jail.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I would be blogging it.

[A]

And kills. Just like making a tick tock. Literally, we're all getting out of the suburban, going to prison. And kills.

[C]

Tick tocking, tick tocking. Like, look what I wear to prison. Get ready with me to take my sister to prison. Like, that would be Kale. For sure.

[A]

For sure.

[C]

And then Becky, because like, Becky is older than me, but she is the youngest in her family. So she gives such younger energy vibe that she's definitely more of like a Kendall or a Kylie because she's in the mix, but she's unproblematic and she kind of gives everyone like shit. You know, she's like on the sidelines, kind of like poking fun at us, but always want us to have fun. I think that would be Becky.

[A]

I agree. I think you're most like Chloe.

[C]

I think I'm mostly Chloe. That's what people have said to me. I think it's just the, like being outspoken and also I think the defender. Like, I think Chloe defends her family a lot. And that's one of the hardest things for me in this dynamic. Like, I don't know about you, but just in general with all of us as a unit, that is really hard for me is to like keep my mouth shut. It's really hard.

[A]

I think with the dynamic, it's really hard for all of us to shut up and like.

[C]

But I mean like publicly too. Like, it's so hard for me not to just constantly want to like set the record straight or, you know, be like, you're wrong about this, you're right about this, but you just can't. If you, if we spent time answering every single thing, we would have no lives or no time to work or record these podcasts.

[A]

I mean, could you imagine just some of the outlandish, outlandish things I was telling Kristen. I think it was a couple of episodes ago I said, I really want to do like an in person, like set up an episode to where we get all of the conspiracy theories about each other from the Internet and for us to respond to them.

[C]

Yeah, that would be hysterical, right?

[A]

Like all of us in one room doing that. The level of toxic. I can't.

[C]

We would need like four hours.

[B]

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[A]

I saw this video. Kris Jenner had done an interview with the Burnouts podcast.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And she said, and in a quote, if you get up at 4 or 5 o' clock in the morning, that's essential for me. I have my coffee, I work out with a trainer, get on a treadmill or do pilates. I feel like I was getting ahead of the game all day. I felt like I had extra hours, hours in a day that no one else had. And mentally I'm much more aware in the morning than I am any other time of the day. And that's when I work the best. If that's not giving Kristen, yeah, literally,

[C]

like Kristen will be like, oh, I've been up since six working. I'm like, girl, are you? But I'm the opposite. Like if you text me at 12:30 at night, I'm working. So I think it's just how your brain operates.

[A]

You know, I think you're either a night owl and you do your best work when the world's a sleep. But it could also be true. Most of the world's asleep also at 4 or 5 o' clock in the morning.

[C]

True, true. I just have never. Like I used to nanny, so I had to be at work at 7am because you're there before everybody else. So for years I woke up every day at 5:00am and I was good to go. The second, and I mean the second, I did not have to do that anymore. I was not like I did not maintain that sleeping pattern. I did not maintain that routine because I love to sleep. But I've always been a night owl. My whole family is. If you drove past my house growing up at like 1am all the lights would be on, the TVs would be on in every room because it just was like 7pm in our household. But then my parents will let us sleep in. I feel like a lot of parents don't let their kids sleep in for some reason. They think like they're late, I don't know, they're tired. But our parents would let us sleep in on the weekends.

[A]

I kind of grew up in a house like that. Like I feel like on the weekends my parents didn't really care what time we were staying up until. As long as we weren't disturbing anybody else in the house, like that's fine. But if it gets 10, 10:30 in the morning, Todd's coming in to wake your ass up. Yeah, like you're not sleeping like that.

[C]

He's like, it's time to go. You got to be productive and you

[A]

better, you better have your hair fixed and your makeup better be done. Doesn't matter if you're roaming around the house. It's like, no. That is. When I got to college, I had never felt so more relieved in my life to be like, I can bum around in a pair of sweats with no makeup on, with my hair on top of my head and no one's gonna like slander me.

[C]

That's so funny. I've never met someone else who kind of that same experience. My mom wasn't like makeup in here, but I didn't own my first pair of sweatpants till college. Like I was not allowed to wear sweatpants. My mom's from Italy, so they just aren't like that. Like you don't go to Italy and see people with like sweatpants. They're not now more so because they have more of an American influence. Like they'll wear athleisure sets. But you were not like flying. I had to wear jeans and a frickin blazer. Like everything was occasion. Yeah, me, imagine me, 12 in the airport with a little blazer I would

[A]

be like, absolutely not. I'm just not going so freaking flying

[C]

with a blazer like this little sea. But yeah, I didn't own my first pair of sweatpants till college. Like I was not allowed to look disheveled because my mom. I'm sure your parents did the same. I'm sure. Like you were a reflection of them. Yeah, my mom always told me like when I went out I was a reflection of her and how I was raised. So I had to be put together.

[A]

Like you're go to the grocery store on like a Saturday or Sunday, if your hair was not fixed or your makeup was not on, then you better be wearing a baseball cap, no questions asked.

[C]

Yeah. No, that's my mom. To this day. That woman wears heels for every occasion. Like she's got a wedge flip flop. She will garden. Then like she put together. She is put together. She is 60, she'll be 61 this year. And she can't wear a flat because she's been so used to wearing heels her whole life.

[A]

That's so crazy. When I got to college, I feel like my college uniform was oversized Nike shorts with like comfort colors, extra large T shirt or it was worn out hoodie where I looked homeless and a pair of the Victoria's Secret. Like the fold over yoga pants.

[C]

Yep. The big thick fold over yoga pants with like all the different colors. Yep.

[A]

That was my uniform.

[C]

I and I am not joking when I say this. On more than one occasion, people who I'd class with all semester long would introduce themselves to me at parties because I looked so different when I go out than when I would go in class.

[A]

What were you wearing at class?

[C]

Like pajamas, like sweatpants. Like for the first time ever I was able to just roll out of bed and not wake up and care about what my hair and my makeup looked like. So I was looking crazy. I was waking up hungover, rolling out of bed, going to class, looking nuts.

[A]

But think about like our lives, like the way we work now and going back to like our college days. Why was I signing up for 8am classes and always making it there on time. But I can't make myself on time anywhere at this stage of my life.

[C]

Well, you're also a mom. Like your, your, your mindset is always going to be making sure Jackson's okay first. So I think that's also probably what it is. Like I watched my mom do that growing up too, where it's like mom is always last priorities. So you always feel like you're playing Catch up 1,000%.

[A]

I want to know what you think about this because people have a big problem. If I ever post like a screenshot of something, people always look at my notifications and they're like, why are your notifications like that? I would truly have a panic attack. So right now I'm looking at my phone. 221 missed calls, 421 on open text and six emails.

[C]

421 open in Texas files. You know what? I feel really honored that you answered my texts.

[A]

Then you're like, you always answer my text. You do so about the nervous system. And it said being able to leave notifications unread and get to them at a time that is convenient for you and when you're consciously deciding to go in and read them and get back to these people is a sign that you are in a much more regulated state.

[C]

I love that I, I like to ignore my phone a lot. So I like to let it die and then I won't charge it because then nobody can contact me. But I will open my notifications. But my problem is, is I'll open a message and tell myself, oh, you'll answer this later. And then I won't. I'll forget. So I probably should just leave them unopened. But I get, I do get anxious if I see like right now I just looked at 41 unopened text messages and I'm like, what's going on in there?

[A]

Oh, see, it doesn't make me anxious at all.

[C]

I gotta get to that point. I used to be like that. I do have to get to that point. I think it's just putting out. I feel like there I am. There's always like a 91 1. And that's always the craziest thing too, right? Like, do you ever look at. I, I often sit down and I think, what 91 1am I really dealing with? Like, we're not performing brain surgery here, you know, and my. I always got to tell my nervous system like, like, you don't have to go in fight or flight. We're dealing with the Internet like it's. Everything is fine. But I just feel like in the last maybe a year or so that's gotten worse for me. So I have to kind of tone it back. But I'm in a million group chats. Lindsay, Chrisley and I, they are the bane of mine.

[A]

No, I absolutely hate a group chat more than anything in the world.

[C]

Hate, hate. Kristen always apologizes to me. She'll text me and give me a head up. She's Like, I'm so sorry. I'm putting you in another group chat and I'm like, great, you just want me to die.

[A]

I just don't answer. And I think that there's so much power in being able to step away from your phone, step away from social media, step away from like all things that just clog your brain. I love to be able to do that. Like on Friday at 5 o'.

[C]

Clock.

[A]

I know I'm not a nine to fiver, but I treat my life like I am.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Friday at 5 o'.

[C]

Clock.

[A]

You probably won't get in touch with me.

[C]

She's gone till Monday.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I know. I've heard about you turning off your location. Nobody knows where you are for days at a time.

[A]

Oh, wait, you heard about that?

[C]

Oh yeah. And he's like, I mean, Chris will be like, who knows, right? Let's see. Is mia. I just did that. Maybe. In the end of April, Billy and I rented a cabin in upstate New York. And there was not any cell service for 15 minutes outside of the house. And it was honestly pure bliss. Like, I didn't have to. I left my phone 15 minutes. Lindsay, you had to drive 15 minutes out to get cell service?

[A]

Oh, I would love that. That is an ideal situation for my life.

[C]

And it was so nice because it's like nobody can contact me. So I just leave my phone over there. It was, my brain was so relaxed. Like I keep telling Billy, we got to do that again asap. It was just in the middle of nowhere. It had a gorgeous like shower and bathtub. It took a million bath was there and nobody could contact me. And that's exactly.

[A]

My dumb ass went through a phase. Must have been like maybe a year or two ago I would put my phone in airplane mode just so that I could use my camera.

[C]

I mean, that's fair. I really like that. I like that you affirm boundaries. I think that's really important. I think the older you get too, like in life, you just kind of don't give a about implementing them. It's either you're going to like, you're either going to stick around with my boundaries or not. And my boundary, Lindsay's boundary is you ain't getting a hold of her unless she wants you to.

[A]

Who told you that I turned my location off? Ms. Kristen Narc.

[C]

Ms. Ms. Christian Kristen KJ. Kris Jenner Jr. Over here.

[A]

So she's just like, nobody knows where Lindsay is. She's turned her location.

[C]

Nobody knows where Lindsay is. She's out. She's somewhere. She could be in Peachburg. She could be in Mexico for all we know.

[A]

Oh my God. Okay, so I have a couple other things that is going on, like in the news that I want to talk about, but I also want to mix in some questions because we got a lot of them.

[C]

Love.

[A]

So the first person says, I've been asked about this. So I personally have been asked about this multiple times. People have sent me this tick tock from various different creators. And I know you're a child from divorce as well. And then also I'm a mom who was divorced, so wanted to get your thoughts. It says in the divorce, we decided to keep the kids in the house and have parents switch back and forth every time I pack up my stuff to haul it to the car. I'm so thankful that I'm doing this instead of my kids.

[C]

I like the idea, especially like, as my brother and I both have adhd, so we're neurodivergent. Thankfully, we were older, so we never did the back and forth like we were teenagers. So we just stayed with my mom. But had we had to have, I think it really would have affected my brother specifically. Specifically because he was a little. He's younger than I am. Because you're just so into your, like, pattern and your routine. And I could see how on top of a divorce, that really affects kids. I like the idea for when they're younger. I think it's a lot easier on them. But then for, I mean, actually, you know, I really. I always tell Billy, like, we don't have kids yet. We keep talking about it, it'll come sooner rather than later. And I'm like, listen, if something happens between us, your new girl's gonna have to get used to me real quick because we're gonna have like a two family house. We're gonna have a sky walkway because I'm not gonna be away from my kid. Like, it's gonna be, hey, bitch, I'm here. You know, like, she guys are gonna have to be good with me because I'm not going anywhere. So I like the idea of that. I think, however, you can make it easier for your kids. I think that would work better if they're younger, though. I think it would get a little harder to explain when they get older, maybe like teenagers. But I like the idea of the separation. I like being a. I think I like adults to be able to have their time with their family and their family home and then go do what they would do if they were single and separated and keep that away from the family unit because that's where things get a little bit tricky with divorce or like separated parents. Because as much as you want to keep it separate, whatever's going on because you're human. Like I had a dynamic where my parents were like back and forth a lot and they try to keep it from us. But I'm also really nosy and the eldest daughter, so I was always finding out information even if they didn't want me to. So the idea of keeping it separate I really like. Because in your brain you can separate too. Like you can separate your life, you can separate your schedule. I like that idea. I've heard of that.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration and coffee sponsor. IQ Bar Protein Bars, IQ Mix, Hydration mixes and IQ Joe Mushroom Coffees are delicious low sugar, brain and body fuel that you need to win your day. I absolutely love the Ultimate Sampler Pack. It is the greatest way to try all IQR products and flavors. With the Ultimate Sampler Pack, you're gonna get nine IQ Bars, eight IQ Mix sticks and four IQ Joe sticks. All IQ Bar products are clean, label, certified and entirely free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs and artificial ingredients. All IQ Bar products are packed with clean, delicious ingredients that keep you physically and mentally fit like magnesium, lion's mane, and more. IQ Bars Plant protein bars are the smarter snack choice with plenty of plant protein, tons of fiber and no added sugar. I love the IQ Mix. It is a zero sugar drink mix that hydrates rates with electrolytes, improves mood and boost clarity. With over 20, 000 five star reviews and counting, more people than ever are fueling their busy lifestyles with IQ Bars, Brain and body boosting bars, hydration mixes and mushroom coffees. Their Ultimate Sampler pack includes all three and right now IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20 off all IQ Bar products including the Ultimate Sampler Pack plus free shipping. To get your 20 off, text T to 64, 000. Text T to 64 000. That's T to 64000 message terms for

[C]

details did you ever watch the show Sex Life?

[A]

Oh no. I tried to watch it one time. I think it was still married whenever it came out. It was like years ago, right?

[C]

Yeah, it was years ago and I

[A]

was like this kind of feels like porn and I'm not doing it.

[C]

Yeah, it was very, very sex heavy, but it was really good. They did that in that show where they got divorced and that's what they did like they would go back and forth. I don't remember the name for it. There's a name for it. But I like the idea psychologically, think it's good for the kids.

[A]

I mean, I think the theory is good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The reasoning behind why somebody would do it, I think is like with good intent. However, I also think that there's something to be said for when you're making a transition to just like fully transition. Because Jackson knows, like, there are certain things about my house and what he does with me that's separate from his dad. Like the way he plays here is completely different than the way he plays at his dad's. What also happens when you get with somebody? The transition is going to happen anyway. So then how do you explain that like now that person is going to inevitably become a villain in somebody's story in that situation? Because now that specific scenario is no longer happening.

[C]

Right. And you could, you could argue and say, you know, then your partner can just stay in wherever the house is that you are staying at when you're not with your family. But I can imagine that eventually when you get to a certain point in a relationship with someone and you have kids, like you want them to be a part of that. You want them to be a part of your life with your kid, even if it's not super intimate, you want them to know that side of you. I know your kids, so yeah, I could see that getting complicated. Like I don't care how far removed I am from the situation. Like, no girl sleeping in my bed. Like, you're not sleeping in my bed.

[A]

No, that's just not happening.

[C]

No, that's disrespectful.

[A]

Okay, so like, what is the cheat, the sheet changing scenario in that situation? Why do we think that it's normal? Like if that was my situation and I go into that house, let's say we were like using Will's house to do that and then we were staying at my house, like on the off times. Well, people are somewhere.

[C]

Yeah, they sure are.

[A]

So do you think that that's like a normal scenario going through a divorce knowing, okay, somebody was just in that house, like fudgeing my ex husband or my ex wife?

[C]

I don't know how people do it. Like I always say, like, I could, I'd be fine, but I think I'd forever be jealous. Like, Billy and I have been together for eight years. At some point you kind of have, like, we're not married yet, but you feel like you have this not. It's not a Claim to a person, but almost like that's my person. It doesn't matter what we're going through. Like that's my person. So I, yeah, I do see that. That's why I think it would be better if they were younger maybe. Like if you are separating between like infant and a toddlerhood where they're not fully aware yet. Sure, why not? But because I think it's also different when you separate and you have infants involved. I think when it comes to dating, I think it's more complicated and I would assume people wait a little bit longer just because, you know, like infants demand so much of your time. I don't know how you really would. And I'm sure you're exhausted too, like in, in infant hood, in that part of motherhood.

[A]

So Jackson was eight by the time we divorced, you know, so yeah, he was old enough. He was old enough to kind of understand what was going on. But I couldn't imagine divorcing with a child like at 3 years old maybe that is still so needy. And I don't care what anyone says, like a child needs their mother.

[C]

Oh yeah, I'm 34, I still need my mom.

[A]

I do believe that a child needs their dad too. So I don't want people to take that out of contact. But a three year old, I couldn't imagine just divorcing and then that child being like with my ex husband and not knowing every move that's being made.

[C]

Yeah, I think that's in my brain. What I think about, if I think about anything happening is infants because they can't talk, they don't know how to communicate if something's going on or if someone's making them uncomfortable. So I feel like I'd feel more comfortable with them being in their home and in their routine with their stuff. Like, I know that the food in the fridge is for them. I know that they're not gonna have too many stuffed animals in their crib just like, like that. I again, I don't have kids, but they already freak me out. Like I know I'm going to deal with anxiety a lot with that. So I've talked about it with lots of therapists of like, you're going to have either perinatal or postnatal anxiety most likely. So you need to reel that in now.

[A]

Oh, I had it.

[C]

I'm sure. I think a lot of women do and they don't talk about was very

[A]

debilitating at times because you're losing some of the joy by thinking that all these Things. These hypothetical things are going to happen.

[C]

That makes sense.

[A]

And so that's a really hard part of the situation. I feel like I was just, like, hyper diligent on doing things the way that I wanted them done, to the point that if I did it again, I know that everything's going to be okay. But I think it was because it was my first, and I was home alone with him, so working. And I was young. I was 23 years old, you know, so, you know, just the mentality of the sky's falling.

[C]

Yeah, I. I can totally see that. Like, I can already see that in my person. Like, I'm like that with my dog Olive. Like, I'm obsessed with her. I, like, research every supplement I give her. We make her her food. Like, I just. And obviously, I don't want anybody to take. Being a dog mom and a human mom are very different. But I just know myself, and I know that's how I'm going to be. And I nanny for so long, I fear that. And maybe you can give me some insight into this. I'm always so curious how women deal with this. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna let Billy, like, do stuff with my baby. I'm gonna be like, that's my baby. You don't know how you're doing that. And it's like, no, that's not just your baby. That's his baby, too. Like, that has to be hard.

[A]

I went through that. Will didn't give Jackson his first bath until he was six months old. I was afraid he had never baby before we had our own. And I'm like, you're so big. Terrified of you, like, drowning him or maybe, like, turning your head to go and do something, not realizing what can happen.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And do I think that anything would have happened? No. Like, looking back on it now, I'm like, that was so dumb.

[C]

It's not dumb, but it's anxiety.

[A]

But in the moment, it felt so real. And he bathed with me because I nursed him whenever I took baths at night. So I would just bathe him and nurse him. I would be bathed, and then we would both go to bed.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Co slept with me until he was, like, almost three years old. I do. I would wake up in the middle of the night constantly putting my finger under his nose to make sure that he was breathing. Finally got to a point where Will was like, okay, our marriage is suffering because you will not, like, cut the.

[C]

The cord. I, like I said previously, I nanny, so I think that always gives Me an interesting perspective and dynamic because I watch other families, like, intimately move. And you become a part of a family when you nanny and you're in the house a lot, because I was a private nanny, so I was working, like, 60, 80 hours a week. So I was in the home from wake to bedtime most of the time. So you're getting to know. And I had one family where eventually they did get divorced because mom was so attached to baby. Like, even after the baby was sleeping in her own crib, she would sleep on the floor of the room. And I'm not judging, because again, I understand anxiety. I totally get the post. The perinatal and postnatal anxiety. I totally get that. I'm not judging. But eventually I think it does. It will take a toll because I don't really love the rhetoric of some men when they're like, oh, my wife or my partner is giving all the attention to the new baby. Well, like, yeah, duh, that's a new baby. But to some extent, you need that balance. You do need that balance, like, toward, you know, your partner and making that relationship stable. So I get that for sure. I mean, a few months. Sure. A year, sure. But I think every situation is so different.

[A]

I think for my specific situation, I was so young, and it taught me a lot about a lot of different areas of life now that I've been able to reflect back on it in therapy. Right. So it's like, at 23 years old, will and I were each other's entire worlds. Now I know that we should have never been each other's entire worlds. And then that transition wouldn't have been as hard. The moment that Jackson was born, he became my entire world. So there was a lot of neglect, I believe, that Will felt from Jackson becoming my entire world. And it's not. He was jealous of him. That's not what it is. I think it's just a hard transition to know, like, she was at my beck and call for absolutely everything. For the past however many years we had been together, I think at that point, maybe six years. Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So it had been a long period of time. And then all of a sudden, the flip, like, the. The light switch just flipped, and now it's all about him.

[C]

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, especially when you're so young.

[A]

And now I'm like, okay, I have learned through therapy, as a partner, as a mother, I have to separate those things and give time to all areas of my life and, like, fill my own cup outside of that, too. I Wasn't doing that when I was married. It was like, I gave everything to Will. And then when Jackson was born, what I was not giving to Will, I was giving to Jackson. Well, really, it was the reverse. What I wasn't giving to Jackson. Will got the leftover.

[C]

Yeah, I think that happens to a lot of women. I think that it's also what we were taught, that women have to kind of do that and, like, put everything aside for their family and, you know, shove their feelings down and become, like, a mom only. And that's. I talk about that a lot. That's, like, one of my biggest things is, like, what scares me about motherhood, and I think why I've waited so long, because I've always known I wanted to be a mom. And I'm shocked. Everybody in my life, I think, is really shocked that I didn't do it in my early 20s, because that's what I always would talk about. But it scared me watching people lose themselves in motherhood. And I now, in hindsight, I used to get really upset about the fact that I'm 34 without a baby. But, like, now I think is a better time for me because I'm a little more aware and stable and, like, mentally stable than I was when I was, like, 24 or 25. I think it just varies that, like, to know that you can be your own individual outside of motherhood and know that it's not selfish. It's actually what your kid means. And I have that perspective from my mom, so my parents separated when I was 14, so I was older, and I got to watch my mom's transition from being a wife and a mother to my mom, like Jackie, like her own entity. And watching my transition, I think, really taught me a lot on how to, like, remain independent and keep my individual lism within my relationship and eventually, hopefully, motherhood. Because I watched her refined herself, and I don't want to be. I think all moms have that transition, but I think she. I was 14. She spent 14 years of her life just thinking about the family. Like, yeah, no, like, buying. Not buying new clothes for herself, buying new clothes for us, making sure we were good from top to bottom.

[A]

So one goes through the transition as a woman, if you're a mother and a wife, at some point, you. You reach that transition. But I think it's a completely different transition when you go through a divorce and now you become a single woman as a mother.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think the things that your kids see looks very, very differently than any other scenario.

[C]

Yeah, I It made my mom and I closer because we kind of like grew into those parts of our lives together almost in a way, which I really loved watching her be that like my mom was. I was the most badass. She's not lived with a man in 20 years and I'm telling you, that's why she looks so good. Because she know how to man stress her out. No man stressing her out for 20 years. She's smart the way she's done it.

[A]

No one's crusty ass, son.

[C]

That's what she always says.

[A]

I'm dead. All right, y', all, let's take a

[B]

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[A]

Quince.comt a vacation rental shouldn't come with surprises.

[C]

It should come with Verbo Care and 24. 7 Life Support. If the hot tub's broken, that's a verbo care thing.

[D]

If my teenager starts calling me Leslie,

[C]

that's a family thing. Leslie Verbo Care and 24.7Live support. If you know you've hearbo terms, apply C verbo.com/trust for details.

[A]

Okay, so next question. Are we going to get all of the tea breadcrumbing? The New York City shit show is really frustrating as a listener, especially with everything comes off as an inside joke. And we know something that you Don't. It's obvious people were drunk. An argument happened between Lindsay and David. Things changed after with them, but yet they are still seeing each other in an in your face way, but not together. I think it's time to stop breadcrumbing because it's hard to continue to listen when this is. Is a consonant.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So I put myself some little noty notes.

[C]

Love.

[A]

I feel like there's a lot to say about New York City. I want to give a little backstory. And I don't even know if you know all of this information, but I absolutely hate to leave home with, like, loose ends.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

So whether it be like, like there's a project going on and I feel like I can't leave for that reason, or like, laundry's not done or dry cleaning's not picked up, like, it could just be like, various things. Right. Going into that week, Will and I were both traveling. Will was leaving for Florida and I was leaving for New York City. We were actually at the airport going out the same time and coming back back the same time. So the week prior to traveling, our dog that we had when we were married, Della, she goes back and forth between mine and Will's house. I got her from Will the week prior because he had another work trip. And immediately when I got her, she's been sick for a little while. She had gone to their Will's family's vet and they diagnosed her with cancer. I wanted to get a second opinion. So once I got her in my possession, I took her to the vet on my own. They said that immediately she needed to have surgery, and Will and I both knew that we were going out of town within the next couple of days. They wanted to do the surgery as soon as Monday, and both of us flew out on Sunday. So at that point, my father in law had to get involved because Jackson still had to do his school obligations. Also, the dog needed to be taken and picked up from the vet from the surgery. So emotions were already kind of all over the place going into that. And never have I ever felt more of a situation of I. I feel like I need to be two places at one time, but couldn't. So I think there was a lot of stress that was surrounding that and then moving on to arriving to New York City. I would like to say that no one can quite understand our collective, like, working dynamic with each other because we have this working dynamic with all of us. Right. And there are individual and joint friendships within those working dynamics. And I think it's really Hard for people who have never been in that situation to arrive to that occasion. I can take accountability for not properly preparing someone for that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

However, because I'm so used to it, I don't know how to prepare someone for that. Right.

[C]

Totally.

[A]

It's like you're walking into an absolute shit show. So the night of the Webbies, we went to a nice dinner after the Webbies, and we all were staying in a collective Airbnb. At the point, we come back to the Airbnb, we decide we're gonna play garage games, so we're going to play Flip Cup. Just have a good time. Enjoy what we're celebrating. Right. I think it's fair to say that someone was overserved and overserved themselves. Possibly did not eat enough.

[C]

Definitely. It was a. It was a busy day.

[A]

I think the situation with that, the dynamic of, like, our girl friendships and working relationships also played into that a little bit. There were things that were said that I personally feel were completely out of line. And I can just say I'm proud of myself in that situation because, number one, I walked away from it. There's no. I have no business or place arguing with something that does not make, like, any logical sense.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. So I'm happy that I walked away from that and I'm happy that I paused and tempered my tongue because I could have rebuttal. A lot of things.

[C]

Sure could have. Yep.

[A]

And I didn't. I will also say no one slept in their assigned beds that night.

[C]

Nope. No. Me and Lindsay and Kristen were cuddled up, bunked up.

[A]

The combination of that situation that transpired, the things that I had going on at home. I had made a decision to change my flight and go home early because I didn't feel that anything was going to be productive that was come that would me staying in the city. Like, nothing productive was going to happen because I wasn't in a headspace at that point to do anything.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

So I decided to go to what I knew and what I could control, which was home.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I think a lot of people when I see these things, and it's like, you need to give, like, the whole story or whatever. Number one, it takes time to process certain things. I do think that there is so much power in just pausing and trying to figure out your own emotions before just rattling off. Yep.

[C]

I've learned that for sure.

[A]

And you can give your spiel on New York City.

[C]

I think, like, earlier in the beginning of the episode, I said that this dynamic is the most unique situation I've ever been in and it's really complic. Like that was Billy's first time because Billy was there really being in the thick of it and I could see his like wheels turning and being like overstimulated because there's a lot going on at one time. Let's be 100% frank. If you are in this industry and you are someone who talks for a living like we're. We are all big personalities in different ways. And so sometimes that doesn't always mesh because obviously we don't always agree. Like that's. That's the thing I think that people have wrong with us or up is that there's this misconception that we all always agree with each other and we always agree with.

[A]

Always co sign each other's bullshit. It's like that is not true.

[C]

It could not be further from the truth and sometimes causes issues with within us too that quite frankly why would we bring that to the Internet? Like I am always someone. My advice is always be quiet. It My advice is always let it pass. Time will pass. And you don't always. I don't believe you have to address everything. I really don't think just because you're on the Internet you owe everybody every detail. Now I know people are not going to like that from that I said that but I just don't. I think you can share what you want of real life and not be demanded to give every single detail because at the end of the day we are humans processing these things in real time and it takes. Takes time. So I think that the dynamic of not always agreeing with each other, big personalities, go, go, go, go, go. That's also the thing I think people really need. We wake up and we are on the go from the time we go to sleep during these like trips. And that's a lot. We're not eating. I don't ever. People are always yelling at me because I'm on coffee and finance until like 6pm like you need to eat something and get something in your system. I think there's always a lot of heightened emotions because we're all, all have adhd. We're all neurodivergent. We don't like being out of our routines. Like it's hard for me also to be out of my routine, out of my space, out of my home. Like I want to be comfortable. So I think that always adds a different layer to it. I was really, I kept telling you too that night like I was so proud of the way that you didn't engage. You didn't even disengage. You just didn't engage at all. You walked away from the situation. We went down, we went upstairs together and we cuddled and we laughed and we turned it around as much as we could for ourselves. Because I think when you get to a certain age, you kind of realize that's the only option you have. You can either be miserable and let whatever someone else is going through overtake you, or you can flip the switch and allow them to go through that and deal with it on your own and disengage. Especially when drinking is involved. Like, that's personally, for me, a harder dynamic there in general to navigate is when there's drinking involved, because it doesn't. The things that you're feeling don't always make sense because it heightens everything. So it's like, what's the point of gauging with someone that isn't making any sense? You would have ended up upsetting yourself. You would have. It just wouldn't have been. It's not productive. It's not productive for you. Yeah.

[A]

Never have I ever been in a situation because I'm an engager. Like, I will engage with anybody's. Right. It's like, no, you want to bring this to the table? Like, let's go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. Never have I ever just kind of wiped my hands and I never said one word.

[C]

Nothing at all. At all. We just did our thing.

[A]

Okay, here we go. And now we're having a sleepover.

[C]

And now we're having a sleepover. Now we're having a slumber party.

[A]

I think it's fair to say that during these trips for the future, for me personally, I don't care what anybody else does that's their own. But with our internal group dynamic collectively with all of us. And when I say internal group dynamic, I'm going to reference names so that people don't take stuff out of context. It is me. It is Kristen. It is you. It is Kayl. It is Becky.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

With that dynamic, I personally feel like keeping our personal lives personal during those work trips. Right. Not that we can't do stuff together collectively outside of a work trip. Right. But keeping it business and professional, with our working dynamic that we clearly know works, it's best to do those trips without significant others involved because there's just way too much going on all at once. And there's no way to fully give yourself to what you are signed up. And therefore. And also trying to navigate relationship, like, while also doing.

[C]

Doing that. Yeah. Making sure they're okay. Because again, this is a, this is a not a normal situation. Like, most people don't go to work and have to deal with their personal lives. But that's what's hard about us, is that our personal lives become our work. And where is the line? Where is the fine line for us? I also think it's hard when you get in this situation where we're also close. Like, for me, the Chattanooga trip was the first trip I went on, and I was quickly realized, like, like, oh, this is just like one big dysfunctional family. I kept telling Kel was like, it's like Thanksgiving dinner. It's fine. Like, I feel right at home in this situation. But not everybody is going to feel that way. And because we are so close and we kind of just hop into these dynamics, I think it's hard not to project that onto everyone's partners. But the fact of the matter is our partners are not in this. They're working normal nine to five. They don't have to deal. Deal with the things that we have to. So when they're in it, they're confused or their emotions are more heightened than what ours would be. And I think sometimes that heightens our emotions. Like, I will speak to for myself in my own dynamic that, like, Billy will want to protect me a lot. And I'm like, you don't get it. Like, that's not, that's not going to help. That's not going to. That's going to, you know, make things worse or there's nothing to protect me from. Like, I'm okay, but they don't. It's. It's hard because there are a lot of heightened emotions in some of these situations, and it's hard for our partners to get that and it's hard for us not to just immediately bring them in the fold. And I, and yeah, I agree with you, that was the first time Billy was ever on, like, a work thing like that, and it's probably the last time he will ever go on one.

[A]

Like, I am never doing that again.

[B]

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[A]

I also agree. I do think that because people that are not in the situation on an everyday basis and understand like what we do every day, those people as our partners coming in, it's like, okay, I want to defend you and I want to make sure that like you're okay and you're taken care of. And it's like while I, I appreciate that so much at the same time, to your point, there's nothing to protect me from.

[C]

Yeah, and they don't get that because they just see you in a heightened, stressful like situation or, or it's like a sister dynamic too where it's like we are gonna have tiffs, we're gonna be a little annoyed with each other, but we also know how to deal with each other. Like, I don't care if, for example, like I haven't eaten and I'm a little cranky and kale like says something to me or vice versa. Do you know what I mean? That would not bother me. There's close dynamics there where we know each other but somebody on the outside is gonna hear maybe how we communicate and it's like, hello? Like what the fuck? But that's just the dynamic that we have because we know it's when you get to know people on such close, personal, intimate levels, there is no lines. And that does that can Affect things. That's what I was saying, too. Like, it's a very fine line and it's very blurry, and it can affect us from all dynamics. And I think I don't have it on the same scale that you and Kale do. And I just hope that people can give you guys some grace when you are going through such big things or even just. Even if they're not big moments where you just have to come down on your own and think about what's going on. And also, we never have time to process. We never have time to process what just happened because we're focusing on what just happened. Like, what's happening next, what's coming next. What. What did we just get slammed with from over here? What do we get slammed with from over there? There is never any time to process. So if we can't do that, how can we communicate it to you guys that make. In a way that sense makes. Makes sense. That isn't going to be confusing or giving too much information? Because like I said, I really don't think everybody needs every intimate, personal detail.

[A]

I mean, I wholeheartedly agree with that. I know, you know, people are waiting for comments from certain situations that have transpired over the last week and a half for me as well. And it's like, can I just take a second to breathe and collect my thoughts? Thoughts. And also be considerate to every player in the situation as well. Like, while I understand we do owe people to some degree, answers for certain things, I also think that we're allowed to have boundaries within those answers. And so that's something that I'm struggling with a little bit. I know it was said multiple times over social media over the last couple of days that David and I were seeing at a friend's birthday party. Okay, guys, it was a friend's birthday party.

[C]

Yeah, mutual friends.

[A]

And that our body language from the videos were completely off. Okay, so then watch what you see then.

[C]

Yeah, you can surmise what you need to surmise from that. And I think also when we. When anybody in this dynamic says something everybody expects, that's what it is. It's law. We're not going to deviate from that. So I think everyone has been really hesitant to come online and say, this is what's going on, because the second something shifts or changes, it's, you're a liar, you're deceptive. You didn't tell us the truth. You didn't. So until anybody knows 100% what's going on, why would they give you that Information, not just about this situation, just in general, where it's like, like we can't say anything and walk it back. And at the end of the day, every single one of us as humans, we don't know what the hell we're doing. We're all a little, you know, mentally ill. We all need a little quick visit at Peachford. So it's like, hello, what do you think? We're not perfect human beings. We're up. We all, We're. We make mistakes, we make decisions that sometimes we want to walk back and we don't want to talk about it online.

[A]

And for me, currently in a multitude of situations that are. Are personally going on with my life. I don't know my ass for my elbow.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm not going to come on here and give it a definitive answer on how I feel about the situation. Where I stand with the situation. When I know you will know.

[C]

And you have your right to change your mind at that point too. That's. That is something that's always upset me about this industry as a whole and watching you guys go through it from the outside before I was more intimately involved, is that that there are some things you are allowed to change your mind on. You're allowed to change your mind and make a different decision. But I think sometimes I can only speak to myself. I feel like I've been in situations where I felt like I couldn't change my mind or move in a way that I wanted to because I was worried about how other people would perceive it or what they were going to say about me. I will go, I will use the situation with baby mamas ending and the vibe and situation. I regret. The only regret I have from my career in this situation is ever addressing that. On by then I regret it so much because it does not matter what I said. I flat out said on there, I am hurt. You are hurting all of the people in this situation. Can you please give us some space and time and respect? And what they heard from that was me yelling at them and me chastising them. Some people, not everybody. And it just gave me a really big lesson of you don't have to explain yourself because the people that will understand you and are for you are going to be for you you no matter what. And that's hard sometimes, but it's true. Like, it's not easy to be unlike. But at 34, I really don't care. Like, I really don't care.

[A]

And I mean, I think because I got a lot of questions about you know, the baby mamas and vibing and how that all played out. And it's like number one, it's just because I have intricate details about the situation doesn't mean that it's my place to comment on it. And so everybody needs to just be able to sit, breathe, process and do what's best for them. And I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, the way that it's supposed to happen. And I personally believe from someone in this situation that everybody is much happier with where you are in your lives today.

[C]

Yeah, I would agree with, I would agree 100%. And that at the end of the day that's why all the decisions that were made, were made is because people were unhappy and the situation needed to change and we needed to do what was right for us all individually. And we might all be similar in some ways, but every single one of us in this dynamic is extremely different. We're all really different people. We all process things differently. We all have really different lived experiences. So the way that we go through things and the way that we talk about them or move is always going to be different.

[A]

Different.

[C]

I also have the same struggle where people think that it's my place to talk on other people's shit and it's never going to be, it's never going to be my place to talk on what's going on in anybody's dynamic. Your dynamic kills dynamic, Becky's dynamic, hell, Kristen's dynamic. When people ask me about what's going on, I don't talk on other people because that's not my place. And I think I'll talk about like the vibing situation. I get comments all the time still and messages all the time still asking me about what happened. And what happened is what I told you. What happened is that we decided to go our separate ways because it was no longer working for us anymore. It wasn't working for our dynamic, it wasn't working for our day to day lives. It wasn't working for our individual businesses because we had different ideas of what that looked like. Our schedules no longer aligned. Our ideas of what we wanted out of this career and this industry were completely different. And when you get to that point, the options are either to end it amicably and move on or to let it blow up. And, and why, why would I, why would I let that happen?

[A]

You know, I don't think either of you collectively wanted that to happen. Like it wasn't like that. And I think that people that have that idea going back to what you said before, like, if someone's committed to, like, thinking whatever they want to think, they're committed to thinking that before you ever open your mouth. People also have to understand that these podcasts are such parts of. Of our personal lives as much as they are our business lives, that you can't just, like, not have emotions about those things and not need time to process those things. And it's personal, but it's business.

[C]

It's hard. It really is such a fun line. And I don't want anybody to take this as, like, we're not appreciative that you guys are invested. It's not that we know what it is is we know that your investment in our personal lives is why we're here. We know that. And I respect that and I appreciate that. I really do. But I just think it's hard for me as someone who kind of feel like was just dropped into a situation where I was just living my life outside of that and I had no idea what I was walking into. It's difficult to see how people just really. I don't think they treat you guys like people. Sometimes they think you guys are just robots or forms of entertainment. And in some respects, sure. But I just think that they just need to give y' all a little bit of grace. And also, I think the reason why we've all grown to keep things, Certain things, close to our chest before we say anything like 100% firm and why we think about things and articulate things differently is because we've seen how each other. What people have done to each other. When we did that, where we talked out of the side of our neck and we weren't done processing or we made a decision and then changed our mind and then. And we're being held to that fire. I watched that a lot with Kale, even just making statements and then being held to something she said in 2017. It's. You know, I think that's. I think that's difficult, too, where you've grown up online. I'm. We are in our 30s, and I'm still going to make mistakes. I can only speak for myself. Y' all are going to watch me make a lot of mistakes, and I hope you give me grace. I think that's all we can all ask for each other. And it hurts. It hurts when one of us goes through something. It's really hard for us not to talk on each other. It's hard for us not to want to protect each other. Other.

[A]

It's hard a lot of times I'm like, oh, no, I'm taking this to the Internet. Like, full send, crash out. Like, this is what's going to happen. Right? But I think people have to understand we can't come on podcast, talk about therapy, talk about bettering ourselves, talk about, you know, creating power in the pause and then not pausing.

[C]

Mm. Mm. Especially when it deals with people who didn't sign up for this. That's always. My thing, is I'm very protective of the people in my personal life because they didn't ask for this. Like, we don't. They didn't decide to put their lives on the Internet. They didn't okay me doing that. So when we're talking about relationships, friendship, fallouts, all of these things, it is not always our place to talk on it because it involves people who just are living their regular lives and have regular jobs. And this stuff could affect that, y', all, too. Like, that is one of my things, too. And it's an interesting dynamic even between, like, Becky and Kale. Becky doesn't talk about certain things on the podcast because she works a 9 to 5 job. And, you know, these things will affect you later in life if that's what you want to do if you work a 9 to 5. So why are we going to bring people who didn't ask for this or sign up to this in it and give them. Them, like, all the personal details of what happened or didn't happen?

[A]

I agree with that. I also think that people have to understand it's not that we are refusing to talk about something. It is we are tempering a tongue to later talk about something in a more collective way when we've had time to gather thoughts.

[C]

And isn't that what growth is?

[A]

That's. That's the definition of growth. So I'm like, is it. Is it people who are listening that are saying these things that just are committed to hating us, or is it people giving constructive criticism? Because I can take that. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, yes, I do owe you something, but give me time.

[C]

Give me a second to figure it out. I think I. I think that's the biggest. The biggest takeaway from. From this conversation is that if we can speak on something, we will in time, in process, like, in. When we process it. If you hear things being breadcrumbed in an episode, quote, unquote, just know that eventually it's going to be talked about. Then we're not going to, like, leave parts of things in an episode because they're very methodical. Like, people don't think that we think about these things. We do. There's a lot of time and thought that goes into these shows. If there's something that's being mentioned, just know eventually it will be talked on. And I get it. Please, I'm gossip queen. I always want the information. I get that. But I think at the end of the day, we just need to realize that that's not just our entertainment as people's lives. Again, especially when it deals with people that did not sign up for this. They are not in the public eye. They didn't ask to be.

[A]

To your point, if I have breadcrumbed something, it's because that is my way of letting you know that this potentially is going on.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm not going to speak in the entirety of the situation right now, but bet your ass I'm gonna speak on it at some point.

[C]

And also, I think it's our way of giving people a heads up that are in this situation that maybe don't know that we're about to talk about it. Like, hey, act right because it's about to be discussed too. I'm correct that, you know, come correct because maybe we won't. And Taylor Swift said herself, if you don't want me to sing about it,

[A]

don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Wait. Okay. So completely different gears. Have you followed the Idaho four case at all? Are you planning on taking days off of work to watch it? If you have. Do you have any thoughts or theories or do you know nothing about it?

[C]

So I followed it in the beginning, when it first happened. I've not been following the trial more recently. Like, when the first came out, I was invested. I was actually down the street from where he got caught. When he got caught. Like, I was in the Poconos and he got caught. Brian got arrested in the, like around the Poconos. And I was up there. Like, the whole town was in a frenzy because he had just gotten arrested the day before.

[A]

What? Why did I never know this about you?

[C]

Yeah, so I was in the restaurant and then the waitress was telling us. She was like, yeah, the cops were like swarming. They were on this area. The whole little town was up in a frenzy because they had just gotten him the day before. So I was like, really invested in it when it first happened. And when he was presented as a suspect, there was just something about his eyes that I immediately was like, yeah, that man did that. That man did it.

[A]

You look at his eyes and you were like, like, he is guilty.

[C]

He did that? Yep. He did it.

[A]

Okay. So do you think that there was another perpetrator?

[C]

I don't think I know enough about the evidence that's been presented to say yes or no. But he's. From what I do know about the situation, he seems like a narcissist, so I don't know that he would have shared that quote, unquote. I don't think this. But what he would think. Glory was somebody else.

[A]

So recently, Nancy Grace had done something on, like, her show or whatever and said that Coburger's mother, Marianne, which we have not heard, like, hardly anything about her. This is the first time I've ever even heard Marianne is her name.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And she said that she's torpedoed. Torpedoing her own son's defense and demanding that they rush to trial to prove his innocence. And in a quote from that little clip from Nancy Grace, she said, I've seen it before in some families, parents idolize the most disturbed child. The one that's struggling the most, gets put on a pedestal. It's as if admitting that a child needs help would shatter their entire worldview.

[C]

Mm. It goes back to, like, what we're saying before. Even, like, the little bit of our parents not wanting us to dress a certain way is they view us as a projection of them or like, an. A part of them, and they can't separate that. So to admit that your child. I could. I can't imagine, like, that has to be so hard to admit that your child is capable of murder. It's not like they skip school or hurt someone's feelings. Like, that's so hard. But to remove yourself from that has to be difficult because it's like, how did I raise someone? And they ended up doing this? That has to be hard.

[A]

I was just thinking, as a. As a parent, if my child did something that heinous, and I had inside knowledge of the things that were going on, the evidence that they had, whatever. I believe in my heart that I would know if my child had the capability of doing that or not. And while I would always stand with my child regardless of what they did, I would also make them face the noise and the consequences for the actions that they chose.

[C]

Yeah, I would agree. I would agree.

[A]

That's hard. Right? To know. Okay. Death penalty is on the table if convicted. Possibility. Right. That's hard. Or. Or would be, I would imagine, would be hard as a parent.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But no, I would also think about the other parents that are involved with the other children who did not have choices that if that was my child, my child had removed all of those choices from all of those other children and those families. No, I'm sorry.

[C]

Yeah, I'm with you. I think, again, I'm not a mom, so try not to talk from that perspective or, like, what I would do, because I think in the situation it would be. We never know, but I just couldn't imagine. I'm someone who takes accountability, so I hope that my children will take accountability as well. That's how they're raised. Raised. I think about, like, Gabby Petito and yes, the parents helped him. You cannot, like, do you think that he's alive? Some people think he's alive and that the parents, like, faked that he was dead. And, like.

[A]

I don't believe that. Do you?

[C]

I don't know. I don't believe that either. But I do think they knew where he was. I do think they knew he was planning to take his own life. I think they knew he killed him and did want him to escape. And that's. I couldn't imagine that. Especially, like, she was in their home. She interacted with them. I just. I think there might be maybe a psychosis that happens or something where moms or dads have to just kind of detach and your brain puts you in that protection mode where they can't. You can't see outside of it. And that's what happened.

[A]

The Anthony's, Casey Anthony's parents, like, just think about how all of these parents in public situations, how they've all acted.

[C]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's probably like fight or flight. I can't. I would love to know, like, the psychological study. I wonder if they've done enough about that yet, because this is still also, like, relatively new. What is his. Is his dad, like, vocal about it? Does he think he did it or is he, like, a defender?

[A]

I don't know much on where the dad stands about it. I know things have been said about the sisters, and it's my belief, based off things that I've read, that I believe the sisters know. I think the mom's probably like, what you're saying, fight or flight, knowing this is coming up and her child's facing the death penalty. Right. But how would the dad not know something? When you're talking about license plates being changed on a vehicle? Your son calls you to drive back with him from school. He's caught inside the house by the police disposing of evidence in Ziploc bags in the neighbor's Trash can and wore

[C]

gloves the entire time.

[A]

Correct. You cannot convince me that those parents don't feel that he did it.

[C]

Yeah, I would agree. You have to. Especially the dad. I think because they tested in, they link him to the crimes based on the dad's DNA.

[A]

It was the dad's DNA. Yeah.

[C]

Like, you have to know, there's a. DNA doesn't lie.

[A]

I believe that there was another report that recently came out that said after the murders, Coburger had ordered another sheath from Amazon, I believe.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

I think at that point, knowing, oh, I left the sheath, so I'm gonna order another one. Like, where the. Is your sheath?

[C]

Yeah, that's enough for me. I mean, honestly, it was like I said, I looked at him and I was like, he did it. And I know that's not how it works in a court of law, and it shouldn't work like that in a court of law, but, like, they're just something about him, the way he. I mean, he studied them, he wrote into them. He called into a radio station talking about stuff like that. Talked about the murders intimately after the GPS picked him, picked up, that he was circling the area the day after to look around. And then when all the news sources and stuff were there. So it's. Why else would he have done that?

[A]

You wouldn't.

[C]

But because these people, like, people who commit these kind of crimes, it's. It is like this sick kind of. I don't know if it's narcissism, but there is a little bit of that where it's like a prideful thing for them. So they want to see the news coverage. They want to see, like, people grieving and mourning and stuff. And that's so sick. It's like, that man is sick.

[A]

It's very sick. I also would like to say that no one should ever think that. That anyone in our friend group should be placed on a jury.

[C]

Oh, no, no. This conversation, I think, just completely disqualified us. They're like, roll the tapes.

[A]

Wait, did Kristen tell you about me thinking that I was going to jail because I had missed jury duty?

[C]

No.

[A]

And they were like, oh, well, it went to the wrong address, so it's fine, but she's got to go in August. I'm like, like, do you want me to give you clips of my podcast over email to save you guys the time? And also myself.

[C]

Yeah, just show up to the front. And when they. When they're like, why do you need to be dismissed? Just scroll. Like, this is why. I mean, this is why I'm like,

[A]

everyone has been guilty on any case we've ever talked about.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Immediately guilty. Yeah. In the same way.

[A]

Way. I wanted to ask you because you and I have never had any type of religious conversations. Did you grow up in a religious household or any. Now?

[C]

Yeah, I grew up in a Catholic household, like ccd, Baptism, confirmation, communion. Yeah. I come from a really religious family on both sides.

[A]

And where are you now?

[C]

I would say I'm agnostic. I believe in something, I don't know that I believe in, like one almighty God. I believe that there is something I. I believe in, like, energy and the universe. I always kind of questioned a little bit, like, following the Bible, but I will say it did affect me a lot, like, growing up, because I had a lot of, like, that Catholic guilt really instilled in me. So, like, for example, when it came to sex, like, I didn't have sex TILL I was 19, and that, like, affected my idea of it affected me, like, how I viewed myself when I started having sex and things like that. So I think that there is a benefit to it in the sense of it gives you, like, a moral guidance and a way to. I don't want to say repent, but it does help alleviate some of that internal guilt that you can feel sometimes when you do something wrong just to know that you can quote, unquote, confess and things will be okay and that there's always someone there. I don't have anything against religion at all other than, like, when it's used in extremist ways to, like, harm other people. But you could say that about any religion.

[A]

People ask all the time, like, how, with our friend group dynamic, with us all having such, you know, all across the board, various beliefs of things like, how does that work? And it's like, because we love each

[C]

other for each other, it comes down to respect.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I have a lot of friends that think differently than me. My closest friend in my personal life is so religious, like, she grew up, like, conservative Catholic. Like, we don't have anything in common, but at the end of the day, we respect and love for each other. That's our commonality and that's our understanding that I can respect you and you can respect me, even though our beliefs are different, because I do believe at the core of what we all believe is that we should be good people. We should treat people kindly, and that's why we can relate to each other. And I do think that's the point of religion at the end of the day, is to give people like A guide of how to live. Like, either in. In God's likeness, either in. Whatever you think karma is, whatever goodness, I think they're all the same thing. It's about reciprocity and energy. Like, I believe if you do good, you receive good. That's how I try to live my life.

[A]

I wholeheartedly agree with that. I do weekly devotional on here and I found one that this morning when I was going through my devotion and it said, when you can't sleep at night, have you ever thought that maybe it's God saying, we need to talk and now you have time. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes and rescues each time. Don't go to bed stressing about it, go to bed praying about it. Because with your faith, it will happen. Let God handle your worries. What God has ahead of you is greater than what is behind you. And I believe that. That I am on my own spiritual journey. I think some of the things that I was raised to believe and not that I think that it's necessarily wrong, I just question a lot more things now which I think will help me grow deeper in my faith and really find the path that I'm supposed to be on as an adult. I'm sure you can probably relate. You were. You were raised Catholic and that was pressed upon you.

[C]

Yeah, it was until my 20s, that thing that I started like shifting my mentality. For sure.

[A]

Yeah. And so I'm on my own little spiritual journey and I can't wait to just like see what I uncover about myself, like growing through that. Can you tell everyone that's listening where they can find you your podcast and Instagram or if you have like Tick tock, whatever.

[C]

Yeah, of course you guys can listen to Vibing and kind of thriving on all podcast platforms. Wherever you can get this one, you can get Vibe in. You can follow me on Instagram at Viben with abg.

[A]

I love you so much and can't wait to have you on again. If you guys have not followed the show, you can do that on Instagram at the Southern Tea Podcast. You can also join our Facebook group group to connect with us in our community. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app. Wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast one. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

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