ENCORE Talking Adoption Scams with Chronically Breanne / Chatting with Guest Listener Iris

Summary

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The Southern Tea – ENCORE Talking Adoption Scams with Chronically Breanne / Chatting with Guest Listener Iris

Host: Lindsie Chrisley
Date: June 17, 2026
Guests: Breanne ("Chronically Breanne"), Listener Iris

Episode Overview

This episode delves deeply into the world of adoption scams, focusing on an emotional firsthand account from Breanne, who was the victim of a sophisticated and costly adoption scam. Lindsie and Breanne explore the details, red flags, and emotional toll, while also discussing the role of social media and community perception. The episode concludes with a heartfelt chat with listener Iris, who shares her personal journey of young motherhood, relationship dynamics, and the impact of family support (or lack thereof).

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Introduction – Lindsie & Breanne: Setting the Scene

• [01:40] Lindsie welcomes Breanne back after her previous viral story coverage, triggered by a growing awareness about adoption scams.
• [03:16] Lindsie references "Taken at Birth" (TLC show), highlighting public ignorance about the extent of fraud in the adoption world:
  "I had no idea that there was that much fraud in the adoption world. Like, I couldn't even imagine people preying on people that are in such a vulnerable state already. It's just really heartbreaking."
  (Lindsie, 03:16)
• Breanne explains how her story got traction and that even supportive followers often don’t have the full picture, describing widespread misinformation from both "pro" and "anti" adoption voices.

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2. Breanne’s Adoption Scam Story: Details, Red Flags, and Emotional Impact

A. How It Started

• [06:46] Breanne and her husband publicly shared their intention to adopt (Mother’s Day 2021), leading to connections from the adoption community and, eventually, the scammer via Instagram.
• [07:54] Adoption posts were intentionally made shareable: "You never know who you know that might be considering adoption, you know, people don't really openly talk about it too often." (Breanne, 07:54)
• [08:33] On ultrasound images: All details were legit, but personally stripped of identifying info before sharing to protect privacy.

B. Communication & Trust

• [09:34] Five months of intensive daily texting; a few phone calls.
• No FaceTime or in-person meetups—explained away by “bed rest” and high-risk pregnancy claims.
• Lindsie remarks on similarities to relationship "red flags" and about wanting to believe the best.
• [10:30] Breanne describes pressure from her TikTok following and the emotional conflict of publicizing her journey.

C. The Unraveling

• [16:44]–[25:22] Multiple excuses delayed planned meetings and the supposed birth:

  • Medical emergencies (bed rest, family illness, shifting induction dates)
  • Ultimately led to a confrontation, orchestrated by their lawyer, with the scammer’s ex-husband’s family—who denied any knowledge of a pregnancy or adoption plans.

• Key Reveal:
  "So that just shows like a little bit how far her lies go. But the family, ultimately, they were like, honestly, like, we are shocked she would do this, but we're not that surprised."
  (Breanne, 23:59)

• Endgame Theories:

  • Maybe she was planning a stillbirth lie
  • Possibly waiting to extract further money by pushing the birth past a deductible reset
  • Confirmed birth had already happened (baby born December 6), a full 19 days before Breanne traveled.

D. Financial & Legal Fallout

• [32:42] Double billing for medical expenses (covered by Medicaid, but Breanne reimbursed): "It totaled up to $9,000. So it was a lot of money. Like we took a loan out for that." (Breanne, 32:42)
• [33:57] No criminal charges (despite other existing criminal cases on the scammer); civil suit deemed not worthwhile:
  "We could have pressed, like, civil charges… but we, you know… we would still have to pay the court fees... time, energy, like, emotionally draining...for nothing."
  (Breanne, 33:57)

E. The GoFundMe Controversy

• [36:17] Public backlash over GoFundMe usage; Breanne clarifies funds covered exactly what was stated—adoption-related costs and recuperating scam losses.
  "We didn't spend our money, the money that was donated to us, frivolously... The donations we received did pay for most of that adoption scam."
  (Breanne, 38:10)

F. New Hope: Another Potential Adoption

• [39:19] Viral story led to multiple expectant mothers reaching out; currently in talks for adopting a four-month-old, with agency and legal oversight—no funds exchanged, improved vetting.

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3. Lessons Learned & Adoption Advice

[41:33]–[46:28]

• Breanne does not advocate for traditional adoption agencies but uses one now for legal protection:
  "An agency only makes money if...babies are being adopted. So they approved her anyways, even though she really should not have been."
  (Breanne, 41:50)
• Importance of a home study as a first step, regardless of agency vs. private matching route.
• Home study process: home safety check, finances, background, mental/physical well-being—“I think you have to have it. It’s the one thing you have to have to be able to adopt.” (Breanne, 44:54)
• The irony: such high hurdles for adoptive parents, few to none for biological ones.

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4. Navigating Social Media After Trauma

• [47:05]–[49:26]
  • Sharing the reality (not just sanitized “happy endings”) is crucial to setting expectations for others.
  • Trolling and “baby buying” accusations—Breanne now deflects with humor.
  • Lindsie echoes the pressures of sharing (and not sharing) personal stories online.

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5. Listener Q&A: Naming, Nursery & Adoption Details

• [50:25] Controversy over using the same nursery/name:
  "We chose a name for the baby that we adopt, and we didn't name the last baby. We never had him." (Breanne, 50:35)
• The new baby's mother approves of the name change; the adoption will be open if it proceeds.

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6. Community Spotlight: Listener Iris Shares Her Story

A. Young Motherhood & Relationships

• [56:48]–[59:01]
  • Iris describes her own journey—having her daughter right out of high school amid family disapproval, refusing to “do the right thing” in a way that felt forced (“I'm not going to marry him. Are you kidding? Like, I'm 18. I don't know what I'm going to want when I'm 35?” – Iris, 59:01).
  • Navigates adulthood with absent family support, child support for security (despite romance continuing).

B. The Loneliness of Judgement & Lack of Support

• [66:54]–[72:25]
  • Discussion of how lack of extended family support creates unique marriage and mothering challenges.
  • Parallel experiences with Lindsie’s own in-law and family frustrations: “You can feel that tension in the room and where the favoritism lies... my in-laws were much older by then, so I feel like they were more at the stage of becoming grandparents by then versus when we had Aubrey. They were like, ‘We're not ready for this, you know, this is too soon.’”
    (Iris, 71:52)

C. Insights on Growth and Personal Success

• [82:55]–[84:24]
  • Iris addresses criticisms of Lindsie’s independence, noting how inspirational it is to see women succeeding on their own:
    “You’re creating this entrepreneurial... dream that so many women look up to. And so it encourages me as someone who ended up and, you know, I don't want to use the word stuck. I'm happy in my marriage... but younger me would have looked up to you and been like, I can do whatever I want.”
    (Iris, 83:30)

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Notable Quotes

• “There's scam and fraud that goes on on all sides. I know that there are adoptive parents out there who fraud and scam, too. It's such a weird world to me.”
  – Breanne, 03:50

• “I felt like I had to tell the story because it just, you know, I had to explain, like, well, yeah, we flew out here, and this is what happens. So that's kind of like how everything blew up.”
  – Breanne, 11:00

• “She could have said, like, hey, I don't think I can do this. And we would have never questioned it. I would have been like, okay, I get it... But, like, all of the lies, the lies just kept adding up and adding up.”
  – Breanne, 26:25

• “We could have pressed, like, civil charges against her, but... she wouldn't be able to pay us back. She doesn't have a car, she doesn't have a house. Like, there's nothing. There's nothing to win there.”
  – Breanne, 33:57

• “I don't know if I feel too much of a pressure anymore... like, they have their opinions, and I just either, at this point, laugh and make fun of it with them. ...I'm like, wait, I can't Amazon prime it? Like, why?”
  – Breanne, 49:26

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Segment | |---------------|--------------------------------------------| | 01:40 | Intro to Breanne, adoption scam topic | | 06:46 | How Breanne’s scam began | | 08:33 | Ultrasound details & privacy concerns | | 09:34 | Patterns of communication & trust issues | | 16:44 | Excuses, red flags, unraveling | | 23:59 | Confrontation: meeting the scammer’s family| | 25:31 | Was there ever actually a baby? | | 32:42 | Financial details, Medicaid and lost funds | | 33:57 | Legal recourse and decisions | | 36:17 | GoFundMe controversy | | 39:19 | A new hopeful adoption lead emerges | | 41:33 | Agency vs. private adoption advice | | 46:41 | Social media journey post-scam | | 50:25 | Nursery/name controversy | | 52:16 | Open vs. closed adoption | | 56:48 | Listener Iris introduction | | 59:01 | Iris on young motherhood & relationship | | 66:54 | Family/in-law support conversation | | 83:30 | Iris on inspiration, independence, support |

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Final Thoughts

This episode offers an unflinching look at the intricacies and emotional fallout of adoption scams and how vulnerable hopeful parents can be exploited. Lindsie and Breanne break down the steps that went wrong, the community reaction, and hard-earned advice for would-be adoptive parents. Listener Iris brings a parallel story of resilience and difficult family dynamics, making this episode a multi-faceted discussion about support, betrayal, and redefining “family” when the traditional path doesn’t unfold as hoped.

Where to Find Breanne:
Instagram & TikTok: @chronically.brienne

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For a deeper understanding of both adoption pitfalls and navigating early motherhood without support, this episode is essential listening for anyone touched by adoption or family transition.

Transcript

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

Maybe I'm just like weird. Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the Southern Tea with Lindsay Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. I don't love them. A Southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying

[Co-host/Guest]

true to her roots.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I am a functioning non functioning human being right now. Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea.

[Co-host/Guest]

That is the tea.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Here's Lindsay. All right guys, welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. It is Sunday for us and I am super excited because I have brienne on from Tim Tick Tock. We talked about her. What was it last week?

[Brienne]

I think so.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I have the worst allergies. I'm not sure where geographically you live, but it is horrible here. So pardon my voice if it sounds a little bit stuffy. Yeah, we got a huge response from your story and would love to just chat with you and get your side of everything because I think a lot of people either have misunderstood what really happened and tried to gather bits and pieces.

[Brienne]

So yes, there's a lot of theories out there, miscommunications even from like people who are supporting us. I've noticed that they kind of they're supporting the story they think happened which is, I mean it's support, but a lot of misinformation from kind of both sides. Like the people who are very against adoption and then the people who are for it. There's a lot of misinformation out there. But, yeah, it was. I mean, it was a crazy experience. I was on Spotify trying to listen to your podcast, and I couldn't find the one that was about the adoption fraud. So I don't know where you guys left off. I have to listen to that one still.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Even came across your story is because I covered the. The show on tlc.

[Brienne]

Taken at birth.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so we kind of started talking about adoption. And then I think at that point, like, shortly after we talked about it, maybe like the next week, I saw some of your videos on TikTok. They had gone, like, viral. And I told my girlfriend, who host with me, Caroline, I was like, we have to cover this. This is so crazy that this happened. And I had no idea that there was that much fraud in the adoption world. Like, I couldn't even imagine people preying on people that are in such a vulnerable state already. It's just really heartbreaking.

[Brienne]

So, yes, in adoption fraud, like, their fraud and scams happen in all aspects of adoption. And I've even just started learning more about, like, fathers who didn't even know that the woman was pregnant and that, you know, the birth mom's lying, saying, oh, I don't know who the dad is, and adopting out these babies that these dads don't even know about. And then they're having to fight for custody. And, you know, at the end of the day, that hurts everyone, including the child, because a lot of times the dads, if they can prove it, like, they can get that baby back. So the adoptive parents, you know, it's just. It's a whole mess. So there's scam and fraud that goes on on all sides. I know that there are adoptive parents out there who fraud and scam, too. It's. It's such a weird world to me. When I first started the adoption process, the scams that I was made aware of, the ones that I was looking out for, most were emotional scammers, which blows my mind that that even exists. But it's women who are pretend to be pregnant or pretending to place their babies for adoption to get helpful adoptive parents excited, and then they ghost them or they pull out or. I don't know. I've heard it going as far as adoptive couples showing up at a hospital, and there was never a mom, never a baby. Yeah, it's so crazy. So that was kind of like the scams that I was already aware of and was looking out for. I didn't know that scams could go as far as ours did. So basically like, what happened with us, we did a private self match, which is very, very common now. We, an expectant mom reached out to me over Instagram and said, you know, I am this many months pregnant I with a baby boy. I know you're looking to adopt. The only thing is he will be biracial. Is that going to be an issue? And like, and we just started having conversation then when talking to expectant moms, I'm always, I very upfront. Like, this is how it works. Like, we'll talk. If you decide you want to, you know, move forward with us, we'll get a lawyer involved immediately and go from there. So that's what we did. We got a lawyer involved the very first week that we were talking with her and everything seemed great in my mind. And now that I, like, look back at all of it, I know that there was so many red flags that I just happily overlooked.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's like being in a relationship. Like, you're getting into a relationship that you know, like, you probably shouldn't be in, but you still still want it so bad. So you overlook all of the negative things.

[Brienne]

Right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm sure that's a similar situation of what happened to you. But just to back up a little bit, how did this woman know that you were in the adoption process? Like, how did she find you?

[Brienne]

Yeah, that would have maybe been a great place to start. So in on Mother's Day of 2021, we made an announcement that we were hoping to adopt, that we were going to start the process. We didn't know where to start at all. And so a lot of people actually did reach out to me from that initial post and have been helping me through this process. People I like, adoptive parents that I've become really good friends with throughout this whole process. So that was super helpful. They're the ones who actually educated me about adoption scams, the emotional scammers, things like that, how to go about the process. So it was recommended to me that I make posts about like, us wanting to adopt. Like continuing that original post and building on it basically so that. So I made posts that were like, this is who we are. This is the kind of life that we want to provide for this child. This is like the promises we'll make, we're making to you as the mom. And that's how she found us is through those posts.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay, so maybe like, hashtags or like someone that. Yeah, you knew, got sent the post, whatever. Like, however she found you and connected

[Brienne]

with you over Instagram. Yes. So at the end of each post, I would always say, like, ask our friends and family to help share the posts too. So that. Because you never know who you know that might be considering adoption, you know, people don't really openly talk about it too often. So the woman sitting next to you at the grocery store, she may be placing her baby for adoption, and you never know. So we just. That's how we went about it. And we got. She reached out to us in the beginning of August, and it seemed perfect. You know, she was sending me ultrasound pictures. We. She confirmed her pregnancy to us. There's so much to this story. Sorry. No, no, I.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Hey, I do have a question on the ultrasound pictures, just because I feel like I am an investigator by nature. Did it have, like, her name or dates or, like, anything on there?

[Brienne]

Yeah. So people will have asked about that. Mostly because the ones that you see on my Instagram, if you, like, look through my, like, stories, they don't have her information on them. And that's because I took them off. So every picture she sent us had her name, her date of birth. Everything was accurate. It all added up, like, the baby's due date, gestational age, all those things. And I would just remove that from the pictures before posting on social media to protect her privacy.

[Co-host/Guest]

Right? Yeah.

[Brienne]

Even before sending to family, I would do that. And they were like, are you sure these ultrasounds are real? And I was like, no, no, they are. Yeah. You know, I just take that information off.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay, so you get all of these ultrasound pictures. Everything's going smoothly. How often are you communicating with her? Did you ever see her? Did you ever, like, FaceTime anything?

[Brienne]

So I know this is where I was a bit naive. We had talked on the phone a couple times, but we texted all day, every day. Like, for the entire five months, we talked all day, every day. I never FaceTimed her, though. And that was maybe my issue. But at the same time now, like, it wouldn't have made a difference. She was actually pregnant. It wouldn't have made any difference at all. But we did try to go meet her. That was the intentions, and that was when she was put on bed rest. And that's. So she didn't want visitors at that point. Like, we were ready to buy tickets, and she was like, oh, I just got put on bed rest today, and I Don't think I want visitors. And we're like, okay, we understand. I wouldn't want visitors either. What can you do? We'll meet you before birth. So that was kind of the idea, was that we were going to try and fly out a little earlier than the scheduled due dates or, you know, inductions, whatever was going on. We were going to fly out earlier so we could meet her before.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So then you do the videos. I was heartbroken when I saw the videos. Like, y' all are doing all this lead up to go and meet the baby. And then I could tell the pressure that you felt under to, like, deliver to the people who are following your story. Like, you didn't get to go to the hospital. And she kept making up these excuses. You could definitely feel the tension and the stress that you had in that video. And I felt so, so bad for you guys.

[Brienne]

Oh, it was. Yeah. When we got to Texas, it was really hard. Before all of this started, just to mind you, before I started talking about adoption at all, I had 800 followers on TikTok. I had nothing. I don't even know how I had 800. I started talking about the adoption process and was building a little bit. But before December 25th, I had 10,000 followers, and that was it. But starting December 25th, which was our day, the day that we flew down to Texas, I started sharing, like, we're at the airport. We're going to get our baby. Like, we were so excited. And I shared that. And that's when, like, my content started blowing up, which is fine, but because I had shared that, I felt like I couldn't not share about the adoption scam because how do I say, like, yeah, we flew out to Texas and then never post about a baby again, you know? Yeah, I felt like I had to tell the story because it just, you know, I had to explain, like, well, yeah, we flew out here, and this is what happens. So that's kind of like how everything blew up. I wasn't expecting that at all. And I know people say that, like, oh, I didn't expect my video to go viral. I didn't. I thought it might, but, like, I didn't expect this at all.

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

and I think a lot of people downplay the power of social media too and also the pressures of social media. So when you're sharing something like this, they would have given you backlash if you shared the rest of your journey or if you didn't share. So you know either way you are going to get negativity spewed at you. That's just part of it.

[Brienne]

Yeah, I've learned to just live with like the negativity. I'm learning to kind of push through that like it comes with the territory. I am just shocked that people are so mean, so mean on the Internet. And I get it, like you open yourself up to that when you are public on social media.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But that wasn't what you expected, I'm sure.

[Brienne]

No, I'm like a genuinely nice person. I don't understand being mean to others. I personally try to go out of my way to not hurt people's feelings. So it's so weird to me to just see so much hate and. But yeah, anyways, let's next question this.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

She keeps sending you how many excuses? She sent you two excuses like why there was like a family emergency and then there was like yeah section or something like that.

[Brienne]

Yeah. So I mean throughout the pregnancy, you know, there was excuses. So we were. The goal was what, to go meet her in October. That's when she went to a doctor's office and was diagnosed. And I don't know how much any of this is true. We don't have access to her medical records. So I don't know if she was ever on bed rest, I don't know. But she told me she had placenta previa, which is high, which makes her high risk. And so that was why she was put on bed rest. So she didn't want to have visitors. So that was like excuses, number one to not meet us. And like I believed it. I. Why would you not? But anyway, so then we were kind of moving forward to a point where like, all right, like, you're still high risk. You need to have this baby. We. She scheduled a C section dates of December 9th, but I want to say it was the week before her placenta previa cleared up and she no longer needed a C section and was no longer considered high risk. So she was no longer on bed rest. And I've never worked in L and D. Like, I am a nurse, but I've never worked in labor delivery. So, like, I'm believing everything. I don't know how any of this stuff works, but. So, yeah, so the December 9th was canceled. So I had to cancel all of our plane tickets, Airbnbs flights. Like, we had everything booked, rental cars, so we had to cancel all that. And like, you don't always get your money back on those things. I think people forget. Like, not everything's refundable, but anyway, so we were like, okay. Like, at this point, we're just waiting for her to go into labor naturally. So it wasn't happening. Wasn't happening. So they finally set a scheduled induction date of December 28, which was a Tuesday. So because it was a Tuesday, we figured we could fly out on Saturday, which is Christmas, but we could fly out there, have a few days to like, bond with her before the induction, and it wouldn't have messed up like, our work schedules. So we flew out that day and the excuses started on the 26. We are supposed to go to dinner with her and her family, and that was a Sunday. She had gotten home from church, said that her mom was. Had been having chestnuts since Friday, and her mom was just now letting her take her to a stat care urgent care. So that turned into an ER visit the next morning. I woke up Monday morning and she said, like, I just got home at 6:30 in the morning. They didn't admit my mom. She just has to follow up with a cardiologist at 2pm today. So I was like, okay, sounds good. Like, we're totally understandable. Like, it sucks that we're not gonna get to meet you before the birth, but we get it. Makes sense. So then that turned into her mom being admitted. And then the next day, the day of the scheduled induction, her mom had emergency open heart surgery. And that to me is right when I started noticing things were wrong. Because I was a cardiac nurse for three years, so I know that emergency open heart surgery for what she was having, not common. And I knew that wasn't right, but it just. And so like, Tuesday night was coming up and we're like, so are you Going in for your scheduled induction, like you're supposed to be there at 8pm today. And she like, she just like, I can't leave my mom. She still hasn't woken up from surgery. And I would feel so wrong. I can't leave her. My doctor called and said I could go in tomorrow night instead. And I was like, okay, like totally fine. Understandable. Wednesday comes, mom's still not waking up. She still doesn't feel comfortable leaving her mom. So she pushed it to Thursday. Thursday morning I woke up and I just knew. I knew everything was wrong. I was really, really sick to my stomach. That's like my response to stress and anxieties. I sick. And I called our lawyer and was like, something's going on. She's still not going in to give birth. Like, there's just something wrong. And he met up with us. He's like, let's go meet and let's talk. And he sat us down and he was like, this is a scam. He goes, I been doing this for 26 years. There's not a doubt in my mind that this is a scam. I. I don't even know if she's pregnant. Like, who knows? He was like, you know, this is what we can do. He goes, I have her last known address from the background check he pulled in September. He's like, I have her last known address. I don't know if she still lives there, but we can go and see what happens, confront her and see. I don't know. They didn't advise that I go because I was a mess. Like, I was. We're outside in public at a restaurant and I'm sobbing like I'm a mess. Um, I wanted to go home thinking

[Lindsay Chrisley]

that you're, you know, gonna have a couple day old baby at this point and you're gonna be taking home to. Now we don't even know if he's real, if like what's going on. So I can understand why you would be so visibly upset. I can't believe that this scam, like went this far.

[Brienne]

That is what everyone says. So it's so weird because she's used all of her real, her real name, her real information, which doesn't sound smart. And I have never heard of a scam going as far as this one did. But basically what happened was I. My husband dropped me off at our Airbnb and then he went to the address and he met the lawyer there. And they talked to her extended family. It ended up being her ex husband's family. That was her last known address was with her ex husband. So they talked to, I think it was an aunt, a grandpa, and the ex husband himself. They were all like, we know nothing about a pregnancy. We know nothing about an adoption. They were like questioning if maybe her daughter had been pregnant and she was trying to cover up for it. But the dad was like, absolutely not. She's not pregnant. She's her. Their daughter was 12. So he was like, there's no way. There was a lot more conversation. I wasn't there. So I'm not privy to all that information. But we found out like a lot of information about her through them. Like she's a lie. Like she's a liar. What is that word? Compulsive liar. Just to show how far like her lies go. I love this, this example so much. But her ex husband's family, she's been with him or was with him for 12 years, or 15 years. 12 to 15 years. And for those however many years, she had always told them her birthday was in July. Her birthday is in February. Like his. Yeah. Like, it's like, why lie about your birthday? Like, that's like how far her lies go. Like, the mother in law reached out to me and she goes, I just saw her criminal report which has the her name and like her date of birth. And she goes, I didn't know she was born in February. We've celebrated her birthday in July since she was a teenager. So it's so weird. Like, it's just so random like that. So that just shows like a little bit how far her lies go. But the family, ultimately, they were like, honestly, like, we are shocked she would do this, but we're not that surprised. They were more surprised that she would have taken it as far as she did.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Brienne]

So at that point, like everyone laughed. Like, my husband was on his way home. The law, I'm on the phone with my lawyer asking like, what happened? And he was like, you need, she needs to tell you right now. Like she needs to FaceTime you and show you that her mom is truly sick and in the hospital and that she's truly pregnant. Because I don't believe her on anything. Because the other family, they're like, no, her mom's so healthy, she's fine, she's not sick. There's no way she's in the hospital. We would know. And they were right. Like her mom was never in the hospital. But it like that panic thing, it

[Lindsay Chrisley]

sounds like, it almost sounds like she carried that lie for so long and then it comes time, you Know, for her to have the baby, and now all of a sudden, she's got to come up with, yeah,

[Brienne]

right. Like, what's the end game? So my lawyer thinks that she was gonna pretend like she had a stillbirth. My theory is that she was trying to push off the birth until January 1st, which is when her deductible would have started over. You know, that was. My theory, is that she was waiting to get more money from us and that she was going to have this baby after the new year when her deductible reset. But, you know, and I don't know what the. But I still am confused on what her end goal was, because it wasn't to give us the baby, you know?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So does she have the baby? Like, was there ever a baby? Because I know there's a lot of people that have sent messages that were like, there was never a baby. And then a ton of people were like, no, there was a baby.

[Co-host/Guest]

So.

[Brienne]

So, yeah. So when obviously, like, from the family, we were like, is there even a baby? Like, we don't know. So originally, that's. That was the theory. Like, maybe there's not even a baby. Like, we don't know of it. We still haven't proved it. She did FaceTime me, and she showed me her belly, and it was larger, and I was like, okay, so it is your belly. There's matching tattoo to the picture she had sent me. But that could have been her postpartum belly. And that was my theory. After all of this, I was like, she sent me a picture of her mom's wristband, the hospital wristband, which just had her last name on it. So that could have easily been her wristband from when she gave birth. So I was telling her, I think she already had this baby. She either had him earlier this week, or she. She had this baby. And so we didn't know for a while. I think it wasn't confirmed until three or four weeks ago now.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, wow.

[Brienne]

I've been in contact with someone who is close to her who has been giving us all of this information, but she actually had her baby on December 6, 19 days before we flew out to go meet her for the delivery of this baby. So she did have a baby. And I just. I don't know. I don't get it. Because she could have said, like, hey, I don't think I can do this. And we would have never questioned it. I would have been like, okay, I get it. I understand. And we would have never questioned fraud. But, like, all of the lies the lies just kept adding up and adding up. And it got to a point the last lie she tried to tell was like, they're taking my mom off of life support. At 8pm tonight. My ex husband picked up the kids so that my sister could be here. And my lawyer knew that was a lie because when he talked to the father earlier that day, we found out that she has been keeping his kids from him for over a year. He hasn't seen them, she hasn't allowed them to see him. She's breaking like all custody agreements. My lawyer knew that. I didn't know that. So when I, when she said the husband picked him up, I didn't, I didn't think anything of it. But the lawyer called her immediately, was like, what's his phone number then? Because I know you're lying. And she's like, I'm not lying. He was like, okay, then what's his phone number? I'll call him to verify your story. And she just lost it. And she ended up texting me and said, you know what, I'm tired of your lawyer thinking this is a scam. I'm just going to go ahead and keep the baby so no one is involved. And I was like, that is like not a normal response.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I feel like just listening to all of this and you tell this story, it almost seems like a little something that I've been reading about about how women will get pregnant and then have someone financially support them through the pregnancy and then never give the baby up and never had any intentions to do so. So that's what it sounds like to me. Me.

[Brienne]

So that was. Yeah, originally I was like, okay, like she was just using us to get free medical care. You know, it doesn't sound like at all her intentions were ever adoption. Like she never cooperated with getting papers signed, you know, turning in the information she was supposed to turn in before birth. She never cooperated with those things. Always had an excuse and I always had her back on them too. I was like, well, she has been really busy. I get it. She's on bed rest and she can't really just go out to like staples and get something faxed to you. Like, you know, she's. I like believed it and I backed her every time a lawyer would question and I'd be like, well, she's really busy. Like I just assumed that since I talked to her all day every day, I knew her better.

[Co-host/Guest]

Right? Yeah.

[Brienne]

And I was like, I know that that's a red flag, but I'm not worried because she told me this. Like I just, I believed everything.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Brienne]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Brienne]

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[Brienne]

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[Brienne]

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[Brienne]

we found out about the baby being born December 6th, I did also find out she had Medicaid the entire time. So the bills that she was sending us that we were reimbursing her for were already paid. And we so she basically had like Medicaid paying her bills and then us giving her that money on top of it, which it totaled up to $9,000. So it was a lot of money. Like we took a loan out for that. Most people don't just have 9,000 sitting in their bank account ready to spend, which I think a lot of people don't realize that either is that when people are adopting or even ivf, like they're financing that, no one is paying for that out of pocket. Very rarely does that happen. So it's not like I was just like, oh, I have 9,000, you know what, let her keep it. No big deal. Like, no, that's a lot of money. That's a big deal.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And especially whenever you're taking out a loan and you don't get your end of the bargain. You know, it's like, okay, where's my child now? You know, I've paid all these medical bills for you. And that to me is just, I'm surprised that there have been no charges against her. Like, did y' all have an option to be able to do that or no?

[Brienne]

So we discussed with our lawyer in, like, a lot of detail about our options. So he had turned in all of this woman's information, everything she'd done to the DA's office, who already had a case against her, because we found out after the fact. I don't know how nothing pulled up on her background check, but, like, in April, she got a dui. She was pregnant when she got that, and then it was either June or July. Like, she stole a car. She definitely knew she was pregnant then. Like, she's like, a career criminal, and she just keeps getting away with all these things. So he talked to the DA's office, gave them all that information. He talked to someone that works with the FBI and had us turn in all the information through their website, and we haven't heard anything back from either of them. So I don't understand. I don't know how the law works, and I don't know how pressing charges always works, but from my understanding is, like, any criminal lawsuits that are brought against her would be from either the FBI or the. The DA's office. So I don't have a say in that. It's just, I guess if they pick it up, they pick it up. We could have pressed, like, civil charges against her, but we, you know, we talked to our lawyer about it. He offered to work for us pro bono through this case, but we would still have to pay the court fees. It would be a lot of time, energy, like, emotionally draining, and, like, all the money, more money being put into it for. At the end of the day, nothing. She wouldn't be able to pay us back. We found out that she hadn't had a job. Like, she told me she was working the whole time, found out she hadn't had a job. She doesn't have a car, she doesn't have a house. Like, there's nothing. There's nothing to win there. So it's. We, you know, we thought about, like, okay, do we press charges? Spend more money? So at the end of the day, just be happy that she had charges pressed against her, or, like, drop it and hope for a criminal case to open.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Brienne]

Kind of what we're doing now.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, that's probably what I would have done, too, because if there's no recovery on that from a financial aspect, then you're just further spending your emotions and time and energy where you could spend. Spend it on healing and focusing your energy somewhere else. So that's where that is. Now I see a bunch of people writing into my Southern Tea, like, fan Facebook page, talking about a GoFundMe. Like, what's the deal on the GoFundMe? Because I have no idea about any of it.

[Brienne]

Yes. So many people have a problem with that. I had a GoFundMe. So my mom made a GoFundMe for us, and I think it was September. She wanted to wait until we had announced that we were adopting, like, this baby. So she made a GoFundMe for us back in September to help us lessen the financial burden of adoption as a whole. So. And that includes, like, our home study, the fire inspections, the background checks, like, we, you know, the lawyer fees, everything. And then her medical bills. Her medical bills kept adding up, and they were getting more and more expensive. And so the GoFundMe was created to help with all of those costs. So after everything happened, I had already had the GoFundMe in my bio on my link, and after everything happened, people started donating a lot, like, to help us through this fraud situation. So I. To, like, help us recover the cost of the fraud, I guess. But. So I'm confused why people are so angry. Like, I get comments all the time like, well, are you gonna give that money back? And I'm like, but that money, it went to exactly what I said it was going to, like, yes. Even though we didn't get a baby, at the end of it, we still spent all that money on an adoption.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

People are going to have opinions no matter what you do, you know? So, I mean, no one said, I've seen so many fraud gofundmes that are legitimate fraud, but you guys were not only financially scammed, but also emotionally scammed. And you also still don't have a baby. So if people are willing to financially give, to help support you guys, to be able to recoup the money that you lost and put you in a better financial place because you did take out a loan to get that, I don't feel like that's wrong.

[Brienne]

I agree with you. And then a lot of people also just have a problem with funding and adoption in general. And to that, I just say, go to GoFundMe's website and type in adoption. There's hundreds, if not thousands of couples that have posted about their adoptions because they're expensive. It's. It's unnecessarily expensive. And, yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. We didn't spend our money, the money that was donated to us frivolously. I can't say that word, but we had a. We have a separate bank account that every single bit of money that we've taken out and has been donated to us went into. And that's honestly the donations we received did pay for most of that adoption scam. We still didn't like, we paid off everything except that loan, which was amazing. Right. So it really did help us. We still have that loan that we're taking care of and that's fine. Like, well, it's, it is what it is. But I don't, yeah, I don't get the anger about it because we did spend that money exactly how we said we were going to. Even though there's no baby, there's still a whole process that we had to pay for.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So now where are you guys? Because I did hear like some rumblings that you guys found a baby through TikTok or something like that. Is that also a scam or a lie or is that legitimate?

[Co-host/Guest]

No.

[Brienne]

So when all this happened, obviously like our story went viral and national. We were on the news all over the nation, even across seas, I guess we were on the news. So I have had a lot of expectant moms reaching out to us. They've reached out to me, my husband, my mother, a distant cousin that had Greg's last name through Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, like everywhere. We had so many expectant moms reaching out to us and at first I definitely wasn't ready. But there is this mom, she lives very close by to us. She has a four month old son who she has been wanting to place for adoption since before she even had him and hasn't found a family that she trusted or liked at all. So she, when she saw this all happen at first with us, she tried to reach out immediately, I guess she commented on one of my videos and she said that people attacked her and they're like, don't you think this is a little insensitive? Like give her some time, blah blah, blah. I didn't see the comment, I don't know. But she waited. She said she watched all of my videos, she was on every single one of my tick tock lives and she waited to see until I was in like a better spot or seemed to be in a better position. And she reached out to me then over one of my TikTok lives and was like, I have a three month old son, I need him to place him for adoption. Like would you be open to a three month old or only newborns? And I was like, no, like talk, like let's just see what's going on. And so we've talked with her for a few weeks and he's. The baby's four months old now. We've met him, we've met her, we spent a night with him. And we do have an agency and a lawyer involved at this point. So we're keeping our fingers crossed that this goes through. But she can of course still change her mind and that's okay. We respect that. I 100% respect it. She's not asked for any money. So this is definitely not a scam, it's not a fraud. She hasn't asked for any money. It's just. We'll see what happens.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So what would be your advice to parents who are starting the adoption process? How to really begin? Because you did just mention that you now have an agency involved. So are you very pro agency?

[Brienne]

No, I'm actually like not pro agency. I'm sure there are great agencies out there that are not corrupt or they're not unethical. I have an agency involved for legal purposes only. Like they're only taking care of mom. They're taking care of her mom, like needs and all the legal stuff on her side. I don't agree with adoption agencies so much. I have nothing against people who use them. That's fine. I don't want to use them. I think I watched someone's TikTok about a year ago and it always stuck with me that you know her, she was adopted and her adoptive parents were really, really horrible to her and they were not in a position that they should have been approved to adopt. Her mom was very mentally ill, like untreated, all these things that she was abused her whole life. And she had said that her mom, her parents had gone through an agency and she was showing kind of proof of where this agency didn't even think it was a good idea to approve these people to adopt. But at the end of the day, an agency only makes money if they, if babies are being adopted. So they approved her anyways, even though she really should not have been. And I, that's where I kind of like, are you letting things slide because you're just making, you're making money? Are you, do you really have the baby's best interest or the mom's best interest at heart? I don't know. So I like wanted to do a private self match adoption, which this one still was. We just got the agency involved afterwards for legal purpose purposes. But I would say I always tell people like first, if you're wanting to adopt, you have to decide if you're going to Try and do private self matching like we did or go through an agency. And if you are going to try private, the first thing you have to do is just get a home study. So I googled Ohio home study, started calling numbers from Google like hey, I need a home study. How does this work? And they were, people were just telling me like we don't do them, but this is what you need to do. Call this person or you know, whomever. So I just kept calling until I got to a social worker who was like yeah, I do, I do the home studies. Let me walk you through the process.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's where you kind of got started. So you have to have the home study first to even be, I don't know if I'm saying this right to like even be a candidate for like a self match.

[Brienne]

So yeah, no, not really. You have to have a home study to be able to adopt. So we started posting before home study was completed because I didn't have a doubt in my mind that our home study would be, would be approved had it not been approved. And then we would have just been like okay, like sorry, our home study is not approved. Like we can't adopt. Um, but so we started posting about adopting before the home city was approved and final. But yes, you will need one to be able to adopt it all to some people wait until theirs is completed. But it's the first step because it's the most important thing. Like you have to have it. It's the one thing you have to have to be able to adopt.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And what do they do during the home study? Like is it just like they interview you guys, they come and like view your home or is it different everywhere?

[Brienne]

I'm sure that it's different everywhere. But what remains the same in every state is that you have like a social worker who does come to your house. They look to make sure that your house is safe. Like if you have firearms, that you have a safe for those firearms, that you have enough space for a child. Like you don't have to have a whole nursery put up and ready but you have to be able to show that you have space for that kind of stuff, like whether they share a room with you or not. We had to get background checks. They like deep dived into our financial situation to make sure we could financially take care of a child. We had to have fire inspections, I had to have like physicals from a doctor to make sure that we were physically capable to take care of children. And like he had to sign off on paperwork for That I saw a counselor when I was 16. So I had to have a mental health professional sign off to say that I was mentally prepared to or mentally competent enough to raise children. So it's. I mean, it's very expensive. They come and they interview you. You have to do parenting classes. Like, it's a lot of work, but

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think go through that. You don't have to go through that, you know, just to be a parent. That's a crazy thing. Like, in order to be able to adopt, you have to go through all of these loopholes, which I understand some of them, but then some of them, I'm like, shouldn't that be requirements for every parent?

[Brienne]

Right. I agree.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's insane. So you guys, you know, went through that whole process, and then you had already been in contact with this lady in Texas.

[Brienne]

Yes, we started the home study process. Like, our first interview was July 16, so we started it before we even met her. But it wasn't finalized until August 16th. Actually, it was like, almost exactly a month. So August 16th is when it was finally finalized. And yeah, at that point, we already had her as match and we were already, like, planning to adopt her baby.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So from this forward, now that you guys are kind of in talks with this lady and crossing our fingers, hopefully your future son, do you guys plan your. To continue your social media journey covering that adoption or you don't?

[Brienne]

I have mixed feelings about it, and I still kind of do. So I was originally not planning on posting anything about any future adoptions, but we again, we still had so many moms reaching out to us every day, and I breaks my heart to tell them no. So I eventually just asked this mom, like, hey, do you mind if I say that we have an official match? That way, like, mom's just. Just stop reaching out to us. And it worked. We haven't had a single person reach out to us since we. I made that announcement post, and I don't plan to share too much more just because there's not a lot to share. Like, I've been very open about everything on my Live my lives. Like, you know that we've met the baby, we visited him, but. And people are like, why are you sharing? Because this can. This isn't 100%. This mom could still change her mind. And I was like, she absolutely can. And if she does, I will share about that too. Because social media is so often just used for the positives in our lives, and we don't show the negatives too. And I think it's really important especially in something as serious as adoption, to show what the journey actually looks like. So, yes, if she changes her mind, it's gonna suck. It'll hurt us. But at the end of the day, that's what she will have felt is best for her and the baby, and that's all it matters. And I. I'm going to share that part of adoption, too, because I think it's fair to those getting into it to see the roller coaster that it truly is.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, I think, you know, I've struggled with this, too, just sharing on social media at all, that you walk this very fine line of, okay, am I too happy or am I too sad? And, like, where is that middle ground? And what am I safely allowed to share to where I won't get attacked for sharing this? And so I'm sure you definitely feel that way, but I'm sure you also feel. Feel like a. Now almost like a public pressure to share the hard parts of the journey so that you aren't misleading people in any way.

[Brienne]

Yeah, I don't know if I feel too much of a pressure anymore. Like, I. I did, especially when this first started. I just learned, though, like, people at this point, they had made up their minds. There's no winning. It is what it is. Like, they have their opinions, and I just either, at this point, laugh and make fun of it with them. I'm like, okay, yeah, like, their biggest thing that people like to say is that I tried to buy a baby. So now they're like, stop trying to buy babies. And I'm like, okay, but I had a coupon. Like, I just play along with it now because it's just more fun. I'm like, wait, I can't Amazon prime it? Like, why?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, I mean, you kind of have

[Brienne]

to just

[Lindsay Chrisley]

rise above the hatred because eventually I have noticed that when you don't. When you don't get down on that level, then they'll move along and find somebody to get on their level with them, you know? And so that would be my advice to you. I do have to ask, will you be changing the nursery?

[Brienne]

Does the baby.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

He's what, four months old? So he already has a name. Will y' all be changing that? Like, what does that like?

[Brienne]

Yes. So people are very angry about this. Answer one, we did not change the nursery. It's very gender neutral. And it's. It wasn't made for a specific baby. It was made for the baby that we end up adopting. And we feel the same way about the name. We chose a name for the baby that we adopt, and we didn't name the last baby. We never had him. So we do plan to use that name. We do plan to change his name, but we were given full blessings from Mom. She loves the name that we chose for him. In a way, I can't really say how, but in a way, like, the name that we have chosen does honor her still, and it honors his birth name. So she loves it, she's happy with it, and at the end of the day, I think that's all that really matters. But there are a lot of Internet strangers that are very mad that we plan to change his name because they

[Lindsay Chrisley]

feel like that name belonged to the other baby.

[Brienne]

Is that some people? Yes. Some people are like, ew, that's disgusting. Like, you were gonna use that name for the last baby. Okay, we chose that name for a baby. We still haven't had ours, so it makes sense for us, really. At the end of the day, I didn't want to use it again, but my husband was like, listen, this girl stole so much from us. Why are we gonna let her steal this name? Like, we chose this name. We love this name. Don't let her take it from us. So. But other people are just mad because, like, it is a four month old. He does already have a name. Like, why are we changing it? And I don't know, I don't have, like, a great answer for why. It's just his current name is super cute. It's not a name we would have chosen, and his mom doesn't have a problem with it, so we're just going along with it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Will this be an open or a closed adoption?

[Brienne]

Open. I strongly believe in open adoptions. If it's what's best for the child, and in this situation, it definitely will be. As long as it's all safe and what's best for him, that's what's important.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's awesome. I love that so much. So just quickly, before we go, can you tell my listeners where they can find you?

[Co-host/Guest]

Yes.

[Brienne]

So I'm on both instagram and on TikTok with the name Chronically Brianne. It's like chronically.brienne actually. B R E E A N N

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Brienne]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

It was 5k to pay the bill

[Co-host/Guest]

for my son and I needed only 22 hours. It was amazing.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

People really trust on GoFundMe.

[Brienne]

How did Juan raise $5,000 in less than a day? He posted a short video on GoFundMe telling his story in 30 seconds.

[Co-host/Guest]

30 seconds. Be specific, be quick and tell what are you going to be using the funds for?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I was nervous to do it because

[Brienne]

it doesn't feel okay to ask money. But you shouldn't be nervous.

[Co-host/Guest]

Sometimes you just have to do it and see the results. We were able to save my son's life thanks to gofundme that we still have my son with us.

[Brienne]

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[Co-host/Guest]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Co-host/Guest]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Co-host/Guest]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

Hi Iris, how are you?

[Co-host/Guest]

I am so good. So excited to be talking to you.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I know. Tell me how long you've been listening to the Southern Tea.

[Co-host/Guest]

Well, I started off as a coffee convos listener. I used to watch Teen mom and when I saw that Kayl was getting started with the podcast, I used to also watch Chris Lee Knows Best. So it's like, oh, best of both worlds. You know. Eventually you guys linked up and honestly that's the first podcast I ever hopped on. So I was like, you know, transitioning into the virtual, you know, world during the pandemic, working from home, I was like, I am really lonely and bored. Let me find something to do. And so yeah, you guys kind of became like my coworkers.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I love that. Yeah, love that so much. I love getting messages from just listeners from all over saying that we are a huge part of their work day. That is really, really exciting. I wanted to read the message that you sent me if you're okay with that and just dive a little bit into it.

[Co-host/Guest]

Absolutely. Go ahead.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Okay. So this is the message that you sent. Hey Lindsay, I would love to be your guest on the Southern T. I had my first daughter right out of high school. My mom Hated my boyfriend, now husband. And we've been through hell and back growing up together. Sometimes I see you starting over and it makes me really happy that you're getting the chance. Being so young and making so many adult decisions is tough. You eventually learn that you don't want the same things as a grown woman compared to being a young girl. Anyway, I feel like we have so much to chat about. I'm a nurse that works from home, so I live a pretty basic life. However, I still see how much we have in common. I love it and I love both of your podcasts. So let me know if you ever need a guest and I would be honored.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yes.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So let's chat about it, because I do think finding your partner so young and going through all of these transitions into what I like to call womanhood is really, really hard. Because unless you can grow together in kind of a straight line and you're on the same path, it makes it really hard to become the new version of you.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, and that's kind of impossible, right? Like, we all kind of have our own. We have our own childhoods that we've been through that affect us differently, you know what I mean? Like, as we're coming into our own person. My husband comes from, like a traditional mom and dad home. He lived in the same house his entire life, has three brothers, you know, just kind of like the picket fence, you know, life that you would think any child would enjoy. I was a one night stand baby. My mom and dad really didn't know each other. I had a few opportunities to get to know him throughout my childhood. He wasn't really interested, so my life was just different all around. My mom was really protective, very strict. A lot of things were not on the table for discussion when I was growing up, which hence me getting pregnant young. So, yeah, you know, I also feel like when a girl enters motherhood, especially at a young age, she's forced to grow up really fast, you know, and men can walk away if they choose to. Luckily, he came from a, you know, a decent family, good parents that encouraged him to stay by my side. And it's funny because when it came out in the open that I was pregnant, his parents came over to my house and asked for my hand. And my mom said, oh, as if your son has a choice. He's marrying my daughter, you know, she's having this baby and I'm the one that stood up and said, I'm not going to marry him. Are you kidding? Like, I'm 18. I don't know what I'm going to want when I'm 35? Like I can't and poor guy, you know, my husband was just there ready to do the right thing, you know. And I feel like that's how a lot of those situations play out, where it's just like a forced. I'm like, I'm already having this unplanned child, I'm going to have an unplanned marriage and then just this unplanned life. Like, I'm sorry, that's not what I want. And I think both of our parents were upset. You know, they're like, well, we don't want you living in sin. I'm like, news flash, we've already been living in sin. You know what I mean? And then that's like a different dynamic when like religion is involved and personal beliefs and values and stuff. So, so they kind of both said, you know, not in my house. And we were kind of forced to. I wouldn't say they kicked us out. You know, I was kind of ready to leave my mom's nest. We didn't have the best relationship and she didn't approve of the relationship to begin with. So that was a no brainer, wasn't going to work out there. Um, so yeah, we kind of just were forced to, to grow up. An interesting fact that like a lot of my friends were kind and he knows that I was going to talk about this. I put him on child support. We were together, we were in a relationship and I told him, listen, I don't even know my dad so we can be together. I'm not going to force you into marriage. And if you want to solidify your rights, I have to open a child support case. Because if you find the next best thing tomorrow and you go missing, I don't feel like I should have the burden of raising this child financially by myself. And he, he was okay with it. So yeah, we live together. We, you know, made it through the younger years really, really rough. And he was on child support. It was funny because we'd go to like the hearings and we were together but you know, we weren't married. And I'm like, unless I have a ring on this finger and I'm your wife, that case is not going to get closed. And so yeah, later along the way, when our daughter Aubrey was about seven, we packed up, went to Hawaii, didn't tell anyone and we got married.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So yeah, feel like our lives are so parallel in so many ways. Very similar situation with Will's family. And then with my family. And I also was an unplanned baby, so I know exactly how that does feel. And I think that children who are born to parents that are, you know, wildly in love or married or, you know, like, in this stable relationship, and the child is longed for and really wanted, that those children have very different experiences than maybe children like us. Because I definitely was not a planned baby in any way. And, you know, if. If we're asking my opinion, I don't think that I was a very wanted baby, but it was kind of a situation where my parents needed to do the right thing. And so I think it's like, okay, we've, you know, gotten pregnant and we're going to do the right thing. So I definitely know how that feels. And that is so interesting that you put him on child support, but freaking good for you.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah. Because I just had to do it. I was trying to get into school, and I couldn't afford childcare. Childcare is so expensive. You know, you guys talked about maid, right? That's true. Like, that show, a lot of moms don't move forward with their lives because how the heck are they supposed to afford 200, 300 bucks a week of child care? So when I go and try to, like, apply for places, the very first thing, like, assistance programs for childcare so I could just get a job or go to school, the very first thing they'd ask is, well, where's father's income? And I'd say, no problem. Here's the child support. This is what he pays. I'd still have to pay a fee, but it was nothing compared to what I would have to pay, you know, regularly. So, you know, when people ask, like, oh, you're married to your high school sweetheart, I'm like, it's not so sweet. Like, I mean, I love my husband, and he's really comfortable. I'm glad I talked to him about this. I'm like, I'm super transparent about how our relationship has gone. And going back to your point about, you know, when a child is brought into the world, like, in a loving environment, I'm not. I was not abused as a child. I'm perfectly aware there are children out there who have had way worse struggles than I have. But it's true. And sometimes, Lindsay, when I'm struggling and going through, you know, hardships that other people I know don't necessarily can't relate to, I'm like, I'm probably not even supposed to be here. Like, I'm lucky enough that I made it into this world. So I just take every struggle that I go through with a grain of salt because I'm like, you know what? Like, I'm finding my place. Like, I literally just made it by, you know, I wasn't planned. I. It sounds really bad, and I'm not emotional about it, but I was not wanted. You know, that's a whole nother conversation. I had a conversation with my dad, and he pretty much, you know, said, like, this was not a part of my life plan. So I get it, you know, but going back to, like, you and Will and how. I feel like we do relate so much, you know, I feel like when you don't have that support, like, clearly his parents were super disappointed. He's the middle child. They probably had all these hopes and dreams for him. Then, you know, my mom was obviously. Probably felt like a failure being a single mother raising me, trying to always steer me in the right direction and not succeeding. But, you know, I feel like when you're so young and you're together and then no one approves of your relationship, you really do feel like he's all I have. You know what I mean? So in hindsight, I'm like, there are a lot of moments where I would have walked away from this relationship had I had support, because I always felt like if I came back to my mom's, not that that would be the ideal situation for me anyway, but if I did, it would be kind of like, I told you so. You know what I mean? Or it would be kind of like, now he's out of the picture for good, and it's like, I should not have to choose between, you know, making my own life decisions and abiding by my mother's rules when I'm all. I mean, the moment I became a mother, I became an adult. You know what I mean? So that's tricky. And I totally. I feel like when I would listen to your stories and I, you know, I see the struggles that you went through. It's sad, you know, because it's like, why can't they just. You know how they say when you're raising a child, like, it takes a village.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

All relationships need that support. You know what I mean? Like, a marriage takes a village. Like, it takes people supporting that marriage and people encouraging you to fight through, you know, the struggles. I mean, his parents have been married for, I don't know, probably over 30 years, 35 years by now, and they were kind of neither here nor there. They weren't. You know, I feel like they'll always have that bad taste in their mouth about me, like I'm the girl that got their son, you know what I mean? He got me pregnant at a young age. And so, yeah, I relate so hard. And when you, when I'd hear you talk about it, I just understood where you were coming from for that reason.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, with the situation with Will and his parents and it's so tricky because I feel like I was the first girl out of the three boys that they really had to go through all of this newness with, right? Like how do I let someone else love my son? And you know, now, you know, they're shacking up with each other and now they've decided that they're going to get engaged and now they're going to, you know, have a baby and they're doing all of these things. And his older brother hadn't done that yet and his younger brother wasn't there yet. So I definitely feel like I had a target on my back. And then not until his older brother got married did I really identify that there was a major problem because the level of support that his parents and I would say mostly his mother showed to that relationship with his older brother and his now wife was very different and looked very different than the situation with me. And so, you know, Will and I got, you know, shunned for shacking up with each other and then, you know, his older brother started doing it and it was like, you know, that was all great. You know, they, we're gonna advocate for them and you know, we love her and so on and so forth and it's like, okay, well why couldn't that have been my story?

[Co-host/Guest]

But I, yeah, 100 and I, I have, I feel like we're literally like you said, parallel lives because I have an older brother in law who's married and I, I mean, you know, I'm with my husband obviously still, so it's obviously a different situation. But I went through a lot of similar things like that, that looking back, I'm like, poor me, I was so young and I didn't realize the. I don't know if you want to call it mistreatment or like unfairness that I was facing, but it really was because they were, I guess, at that stage with that son, you know what I mean? You know, for us, obviously it was tricky because there was immediately a child involved in that added stress, you know. And I know you got, you and Will had Jackson, you know, pretty early on in the marriage, but this was kind of just. Everything was so backwards. And it's not really a place of envy that you come from. It's just kind of like it's hard not to be offended, you know, because it's like, oh great, you know, you support them and you think that, you know, the sun shines out of that daughter in law's ass, you know, like there's no other way to say it, you know, and you're just kind of sitting there in the background like, why don't they support our relationship? And here's the thing, same thing with when my brother in law and his wife had children. You know, my, my in laws were much older by then, so I feel like they were more at the stage of becoming grandparents by then versus when we had Aubrey. They were like, we're not ready for this, you know, this is too soon. And they weren't really involved. They wouldn't babysit her, they wouldn't ask to carry her. Like they weren't really grandparents yet, you know. And so me, I try to like make excuses or like justify the behavior because I'm like, okay, I understand on their terms. It wasn't time yet for their son to become all these things. A husband, a father. Maybe they wanted him to continue on a different path and like focus on himself a little bit. Find the quote unquote right woman or whatever they feel that was. But you know, how is that up to them regardless, you know what I mean? And that's where I felt the unfairness. Because it's like, if I'm gonna abandon my family because they don't approve of our relationship, why do I have to sit here and endure this? It's kind of like an emotional abuse, you know what I mean? Like our relationship is still not being approved on either side, but I feel like you don't want to just cut everyone out, so you kind of lean towards the ones that are a little more accepting. You know, they will have you in the house, they won't be rude, but they kind of, you know, where the favoritism lies. And it's so bad for a marriage, you know, it really is. And it's kind of bad for the children that are involved too. You know, eventually they grow older and they kind of start recognizing, you know, where the closeness is and children start seeing things for themselves, you know, eventually. And so I totally understand. But yeah, I feel like parents being able to admit, like I will admit son, at the time I wasn't able to process or accept that you were already a husband before I was ready. And they won't do that. You know what I mean? A lot of.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

There's no on, on my side of the situation. There is no accountability. What.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, exactly.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Of what part someone else played. And so that's very hurtful to me. And it, you know, I finally got to the point that I realized, you know, because my brother in law and ex sister in law had a baby and what I would watch my in laws do by going and you know, babysitting him, weed up and doing all these things, it's like, okay, well where were you when I needed that? Because you were never there. And then, you know, I get met with, oh, well, you know, you never asked or you never did. Well, if I've got to ask, then I don't want your help. So, you know, there's that and then it's like there's this total disconnect of what I do for a living and what someone else does. It's like, you know, best way that I can describe it is people who tend to do traditional jobs. That is measurable success.

[Brienne]

Right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Someone who's not in my business doesn't know how to measure my success. I could and probably

[Co-host/Guest]

I know where you're going. It doesn't matter if you out earn them by quadruple.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, I mean by, you know, I could. It doesn't matter if I out earned tenfolds, there's still no respect there. And I'm not saying that I do or that I don't, but I understand your point. Yeah, you know, there's just no level of respect there. And it's like cool, you know, I'm out here doing it on my own, being an entrepreneur, raising my son. You're not offering to help, but I'm watching you do all of this other stuff like that. In itself there is an accountability that should be there, that they should be accountable for their part and what they did to our marriage because I. You said it best. It has nothing to do with jealousy. And I got so sick and tired of hearing oh well, you know, it comes off jealous. It comes off this. No, it has, it has nothing to do with jealousy. There is nothing that anyone else in this situation has that I want other than the respect that was given to someone else that wasn't afforded to me.

[Co-host/Guest]

And you know what, That's a really good point. When something's rooted with envy or jealousy, it's always because someone has something that you so desire or that you want and you know what I mean, that you just would like kill for. It's very evident you're happy with your life. You have a beautiful child, you know, I feel like you were happy in your marriage when it came to it wasn't necessarily a problem, you know what I mean? Like with intimacy or. You know what I mean? Like other reasons why marriages fall apart. Cheating, like just these big scandals.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No.

[Co-host/Guest]

So it doesn't have anything to do with like her life is so much better than me. No. When everyone is forced to especially be in situations where you're all around each other, you can feel the energy, you

[Lindsay Chrisley]

know what I mean?

[Co-host/Guest]

You can feel that tension in the room and where the favoritism lies. Like you said, you should ask about babysitting. No. And you know what? I'm a lot like you. I probably wouldn't go past my newborn baby around, you know, I was super cautious with my first child. I was so young, I was so naive. I was really scared. But it's just the thought that counts, you know what I mean? And we lived there for a bit at my in laws and my husband then boyfriend had to travel like he had gotten a new job that paid better, you know, so you can support the baby. And he was traveling for a while. I was so depressed, Lindsay. I was stuck in that room all day long. I felt really uncomfortable going to the living room or the kitchen or you know, anywhere just because it wasn't my home. And I don't remember a single time that my mother in law knocked on the door and said, you know, can I get the baby so you can shower or you know, so you can do this or that. And my mom on the other end wasn't going to show her face because I left. So she was mad at me. And so it was a really lonely, dark time. And you don't forget those times, they

[Lindsay Chrisley]

stick with you, you know. What I have learned through therapy is that their recollection of events doesn't make it reality. So now I'm on the other side of this and I am very alone in the situation because I gave my whole self to that family and to Will. And so, you know, my parents don't really have a dog in a fight when it comes to this because we weren't really around them. So I feel like they all have their version of events and whatever makes them feel good to tell themselves, you know, and that's okay. And I've become very okay with it because their version of the truth is not my truth or not the way that I remember it, or not the way that they made me feel. So I'm okay with it.

[Co-host/Guest]

But I feel also like you're the one that ended up. And I know it sounds bad, but you're the one that ended up more affected by it. You know what I mean? You're so. Of course, I just. If I were to talk to my mother in law today, I've never had the talk with her. But if I were to say, you know, back in the day, you didn't. Because the thing is, things haven't really changed much. So she probably wouldn't care notice either way. Occasionally they'll offer a hand. No, they won't offer. If I ask, they'll probably say yes, but it's just, just I don't because I feel like it feels very forced. But if I were to ever, you know, come and have a talk with her about it. I've made comments in the past about how loving my grandparents were. My grandparents were very involved with my life, my, my mom's parents. And she, she's kind of jabbed back at me by saying like, oh, we never left our children, you know, with, with their grandparents. They were always with us. Well, good for you. But I need a date. You know what I mean? Like, things are different now and I just feel like it's again, not a place of envy. I have my best friend, actually her, she has three sets. She's had a previous relationship, has a new husband, has a child from a previous relationship, and then has her parents. Her kids have three sets of grandparents and every time the weekend rolls around, they're picking fights over who gets the babies. And I tell her like, don't ever take that for granted. Like, do you know how. Oh my gosh, you know how blessed you are? Like, and it's not even just you can clean the house in peace like your children. She's like, sometimes, Iris, I have to say, like, I just want my kids home this weekend. I'm sorry. Like, I want to spend time with my own kids. And I'm like, I don't use. I, I would Be like having them on a rotating, on like you're going here there next weekend, you know. So I just, I don't, it's, it's not really an envy thing. It's just kind of like, gosh, I wish my kids had that. So we don't live near home, we live far away from home. We go back and visit. But you know, every now and then they've said like, why don't you guys move back down home? Why don't you come home? And even my husband now admits, like, it wouldn't make a difference. We would not have support there that we don't have here. You know what I mean? So for us, we'd rather be in our little bubble where nobody bothers us and visit when we want and do our own thing because we are all each other has, you know, and so that's.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm like, I could literally live in friggin Dallas, Texas and hey, you'd be close to me. But I have. I am so thankful that you decided to come on and chat with me. This has been so much fun and I can't wait to be able to pick more listeners to be able to do this with because you guys are real people, just like I'm a real people and.

[Co-host/Guest]

Oh yeah, definitely. And one more thing I did want to share with you is I know recently you kind of got attacked about like, you know, how you were privileged to be able to start on your own and this and that. And it's just, I do have something to say about that. I told my husband I can't count how many times I would have walked away from this situation if I were in a better place financially. Like, like you said, we've grown and it's been just at totally different rates. There's been things that maybe I wouldn't have forgiven if I could have been, you know, independently on my own. And all I have to say to that is, to me, it's so inspirational. You know what I mean? Like, it gives women that hope, that strive. I mean, you're chasing all your dreams, Lindsay. You're doing this on nobody's coattails, you know what I mean? You're creating this entrepreneurial, you know what I mean dream that so many women look up to. And so it encourages me as someone who ended up and, you know, I don't want to use the word stuck. I'm happy in my marriage. I'm glad that we've like defeated so many odds. But younger me would have looked up to you and been like I can do whatever I want. You know what I mean? I don't need the support of anyone. Eventually, I'll have my opportunity to provide for myself and my child. And so, yeah, don't, you know, blow the haters off. You have so many people who love you and love this podcast and, like, support you. And so, yeah, thank you for having me. It's such an honor. And I'm free anytime you need me again.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Awesome. Well, I'm sure we will be chatting soon. Thank you so much and I hope that you have a blessed weekend.

[Co-host/Guest]

You too. Have a good one. Bye. Bye.

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

Pay never. Hi, friends, it's Michelle Maros, co host of Life Happens with Barb and Michelle. If you're navigating change, growth, relationships, stress, or simply trying to figure life out one day at a time, this podcast is for you. My mom, Barb and I are a

[Co-host/Guest]

mother, daughter duo who talk honestly about real life experiences. The messy moments, the ups and downs,

[Lindsay Chrisley]

and everything in between. Each week, we share heartfelt conversations, laughs, and practical tools to help people feel a little more grounded and a lot less alone as they navigate life's twists and turns. Because life happens to all of us, and we truly believe we're all in it together. Be sure to follow, rate and review Life Happens Wherever. You get your podcasts and come ride the wave of life with us.

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[Brienne]

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