The Southern Tea – “Matchmaking Secrets: Navigating the Modern Dating Scene with Blaine Anderson”

Host: Lindsie Chrisley
Guest: Blaine Anderson, Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Release Date: February 11, 2026
Podcast Platform: PodcastOne

Episode Overview

In this episode, Lindsie Chrisley sits down with Blaine Anderson, renowned dating coach, matchmaker, and founder of Dating by Blaine. Together, they tackle the challenges and realities of modern dating—particularly in the age of dating apps, online profiles, and shifting social norms. Blaine shares her personal journey into matchmaking, practical advice for navigating dating after divorce or heartbreak, and expert insights on building genuine connections, both on and off the apps. The conversation is candid, empathetic, and laced with humor as both women share their own experiences and observations from the dating world.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Blaine Anderson’s Origin Story: From College Fixer to Professional Matchmaker

• Early Interest: Blaine was always fascinated by relationships, even on the playground.
  • “I'd help them fix up their [dating] profile, then they'd start getting matches..." (02:24)
• Turning Point: Started giving dating advice to male friends in college; helped them with profiles, setting up dates, and texting strategies.
• The Pandemic Pivot: Launched her coaching business during COVID, transforming her advice for friends into online courses and, eventually, a full-time matchmaking service.
  • “My boyfriend at the time, who's now my husband... 'What if you just put all of that advice into a course?'” (02:59)
• Majority of her business now centers on matchmaking, which she finds especially rewarding.

What Blaine’s Coaching and Courses Cover

• Focus on Empathy & Understanding Women:
  • “It's all about having empathy for women, understanding the dating experience for women, and then how to be better at dating.” (03:52)
• Communication Skills: Teaching men the details—texting, planning, confirming dates, showing effort.
• Practical Advice: Many issues stem from men being “clueless, not malicious.”
• Common Pitfalls: Men often don’t confirm plans or actively plan dates.

The “Are You Dating the Same Guy?” Phenomenon

• Lindsie shares wild stories from local groups where women discover they’re dating the same man.
• Double-edged Sword: These groups offer safety but also risk unfairly shaming men for simply not pursuing a second date.
  • “Just because a guy doesn't want a second date... doesn't mean he's a bad guy.” (05:38)

Dating Apps: Necessary Evil or Modern Minefield?

• Blaine’s Take: Used to be useful, now increasingly “noisy” and “saturated,” making it hard to stand out or assess compatibility.
• Short-term vs. Long-Term:
  • “It really caters to short term connection, not long term connection, but it gives people the false sense that they have all these options…” (06:32)
• Swiping Dilemmas: The apps’ limitations promote passing up potentially great matches.
• Lindsie and Blaine both recount relationships they wouldn’t have pursued if restricted to app profiles.

How to Have the “Are We Exclusive?” Conversation

• Be Direct: Never assume exclusivity; communicate clearly, especially after sex.
• Script for Exclusivity:
  • “I've really enjoyed getting to know you… I'm not interested in exploring other relationships. So I've decided to delete the apps and focus my attention here.” (09:08)
• Confidence Is Attractive: “Being confident enough to speak your mind and say what you want is really attractive.” (10:21)

Meeting People IRL vs. Apps

• The Art of Being Approachable (for Women):
  • Take out headphones, make eye contact, offer micro-interactions (e.g., “Whoa, that's a huge pizza you got there.”)
    • “If you're riding the subway, if you're walking down the street, take your headphones out. Because that is like the universal sign of, like, don't effing talk to me.” (16:30)
• For Men: Approaching in real life is scarier, but impactful—shows confidence and makes instant assessment of chemistry possible.

“Nice Guys Finish Last”: Truths Behind the Trope

• Observation: Nicest guys often struggled most in college (“not getting dates to formals”).
• Key Insight: It’s not that women prefer “jerks,” but confidence, assertiveness, and not caring what others think are attractive traits often more present in “bad boys.”
  • “There are certain qualities that assholes possess that are really attractive. They don't care what other people think. They go after what they want...” (19:57)

Dating Differently Across Ages & After Divorce

• Changing Priorities: What someone seeks in a partner changes dramatically between early twenties and thirties-plus.
  • “The stuff you're looking for wouldn't have been things that I would have been looking for at 19.” (34:20)
• Modern Independence: Lindsie emphasizes her need for personal space, time with her child, and “filling her cup.”

Building a Genuine Dating Profile & Online Persona

• Reality vs. Highlight Reel: Social media and dating profile images rarely represent real-life personality or compatibility.
  • “All you have is basically their looks and a few sentences. So you absolutely cannot determine if there is potential for long term.” (14:46)
• Cautionary Tale: Women (and men) need to be mindful of the image they project online—e.g., party/bikini pics might not align with long-term partnership goals.
  • “If you're looking for like a husband...the attention she's attracting and the attention she wants, then that's actually not a good long term partner for me.” (54:56)

How Matchmaking Works (Blaine’s Process)

1. Client Vetting: Only works with men she would “be proud to represent.”
2. In-depth Consultations: Gets to know client’s life, values, goals, and what he’s looking for.
3. Finding Matches: Through professional and personal networks, outreach, and database.
   • Women interested in being matched can submit info online.
4. Screening Process: Matchmaker “pre-dates” female candidates before proposing matches.
5. Connection & First Dates: Exchange profiles, facilitate introduction; encourages people to “just take the date.”
   • “At the very least, this is going to be an interesting person to be connected with.” (46:36)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dating Apps Fatigue:
  “I agree, I think the apps to me it's just kind of like a meat market. And I just don't love the idea of swiping left or right based off of what somebody wrote and a photo.” — Lindsie (14:33)

• On Superficial Dealbreakers Shifting with Age:
  “The superficial things that initially attract you to somebody are not the things that are going to make you happy in the long run.” — Blaine (38:46)

• On “Highlight Reels” and Authenticity:
  “Social media is a highlight reel... you're not really seeing who they are in their entirety, you're seeing what they want you to see.” — Lindsie (52:51)

• On Building Confidence & Community:
  “Instead of focusing exclusively on dating, focus on building the life that you love and are proud of...that is going to therefore have a ripple effect.” — Blaine (61:49)

• Matchmaker Wisdom:
  “If you just met that person at a party, you would have known immediately that they weren't for you. But instead, you've now invested hours and hours... to just, like, immediately know.” — Blaine (42:43)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Blaine’s Backstory & Matchmaking [01:59 – 03:45]
• How Coaching Works & Men’s Blind Spots [03:52 – 04:48]
• Dating Apps: Pros & Cons [06:26 – 08:42]
• “Are We Exclusive?” Talk: How to Have It [08:42 – 10:28]
• How to Be Approachable (for Women), Real-life Meeting Tips [16:23 – 18:43]
• The Nice Guy Struggle in College [19:49 – 21:26]
• Dating App Burnout & “Next Best Thing” Mentality [23:21 – 23:32]
• How Matchmaking by Blaine Works [25:41 – 27:15, 45:02 – 48:51]
• First Date Advice: What Works Best [43:24 – 44:41]
• Building Confidence When Dating Feels Hard [61:40 – 63:28]
• Differences in Dating Across Life Stages [34:20 – 36:41, 38:46 – 40:41]

Takeaways for Listeners

• Directness and Clarity Win: Don’t be afraid of awkward conversations; confidence and honesty are attractive.
• The Apps Aren’t Everything: Real-life interactions often provide chemistry you can’t predict online.
• Vet Yourself—and Your Profile: Be intentional about what you post; seek authenticity in both personal presentation and what you want from others.
• Community & Self-Improvement Come First: Build a life you love—dating success often follows naturally.
• Professional Help Is a Green Flag: Seeking coaching or matchmaking is not a sign of failure, but of intentionality and growth.

For more on Blaine Anderson’s courses & matchmaking: datingbyblaine.com
Find her on socials: @datingbyblaine

This summary skips over ad breaks and sponsorships, focusing solely on the engaging, insightful content of the conversation.

End of Episode