← The Southern Tea
The Southern Tea
Matchmaking Secrets: Navigating the Modern Dating Scene with Blaine Anderson
00:57:34
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A
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com, progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
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B
Maybe I'm just like, weird. Maybe I'm crunchy.
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C
This is the Southern Tea with Lindsey Chrisley.
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B
I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people right there. Children's accomplishments on the back.
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D
I don't love them. A southern girl and a boy mom.
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C
Who'S trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots.
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B
I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now.
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C
Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea and nothing but the tea. That is the tea.
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D
Here's Lindsay.
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B
Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea.
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D
Today we are joined by Blaine Anderson who is a dating coach, coach and matchmaker and the founder of dating by Blaine. Blaine works primarily with men, helping them build confidence, improve communication and actually succeed in modern dating. What started is helping her male friends in college turned into a full time coaching and matchmaking business with thousands of clients worldwide.
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B
She has built a massive following on.
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D
Social media, appeared on ABC's Shark Tank and has been featured in the New York Times, Forbes and Psychology Today. Blaine is known for her honest, no BS approach to dating and we are so excited to get into it today.
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B
Good morning, Blaine. How are you doing?
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C
I am doing wonderful. Thank you so much for having me.
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B
So I need to know all of the things. I was very excited to take on this interview and to be able to meet you, but can you just kind of take us back to the beginning and let what kind of originally pulled you into dating coaching? And that's wild.
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C
Yeah. Yeah. So my name is Blaine Anderson. I'm a matchmaker and a dating coach. I've always been really interested in love and relationships. You know, even going back, like way back. Like on the playground it's like who likes who's going out with who. Then in college my guy friends would ask me to set them up with my sorority sisters and ask me for advice. Dating. And then after college I moved to New York City and that was right when it became like not weird to meet a stranger on the Internet. And dating apps were becoming socially acceptable, comfortable. And my guy friends would be like, oh, I'm not like, you know, getting any matches. And then I Would look at their profile and be like, yes, because you look terrible here. And like, I know you, you're an amazing guy. You bring so much to the table and none of that is coming forth. So I'd help them fix up their profile, then they'd start getting matches. So naturally they would have questions about, okay, what kind of date should I plan? How should I text her back? So I was just giving a lot of dating advice, and then I worked in the travel industry, so. So in 2020 pandemic, no one traveled. My boyfriend at the time, who's now my husband, he was actually the one who suggested. He's like, you're always giving like all of your guy friends dating advice. What if you just put all of that advice into a course and you could give it to more guys to help more people? That's an interesting idea. And I totally thought it was just gonna be like a pandemic project, you know, something to work on. And then it turned out there was a really big need and guys were, you know, who are really awesome, were bad at dating and struggling. And so it took off. And, you know, now I have a great business. I sell online courses and one on one coaching. And then that's also transitioned into matchmaking. So matchmaking is actually the majority of my business now. And I actually set people up, which is really fun and really, really rewarding.
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B
Wait, so these guys, like sign up to be a part of your course and then you coach them on how to date?
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C
Yeah. So basically it's guys who the courses. It's guys who come to me and they're like, I don't understand women. I'm not getting dates. Like, my first dates never lead to second dates. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Help me. And so my courses, I have a. Now I have a variety of courses, but it's all about, you know, having empathy for women, understanding, like the dating experience for women. And then how, with that understanding how to be better at dating, like, where to meet women, how to approach them, what to say to them, what kind of dates to plan, like, what is a good first, second, third date, how to text with a woman, how to confirm plans. Some of this stuff is like, you know, you would hear and be like, yeah, duh. But it's. I don't know, for most women out there, they've probably been out with guys. It's like, he didn't text me the day of. He didn't confirm the date. He didn't plan anything. He didn't put effort into it. And it's like sometimes they literally just are that clueless.
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B
I think dating step by step, dating after divorce for me for sure has been a journey. I've never been on a dating app or anything like that, but I am a part of the are you dating the same guy? Group in my local area. And some of the stuff that I see on there, I'm just like, wow, people really don't have any sense.
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C
Yeah. What kind of things do you see on there?
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B
Oh, my God. Some of the worst stuff ever. Like, people will go on there. And I think the rules are you can only put their first initial, last initial age, and then location. And some of the stuff that people post on there, it'll be like, well, I was just on a date with that guy last week, or I was having sexual relations with that guy and we weren't using protection. And now you're posting on here. It's like wild.
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C
Wow. So there's a lot of people, like, discovering they're actually just dating the same person.
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B
Yeah. Yeah.
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C
I have such mixed feelings about those type of things because on one hand, it's really like, it's a safety thing, you know, especially as a woman, you're meeting a stranger online. It was different back in the day when, like, the people you met were basically had to be a friend of a friend or like, you had to meet them in person. Now with online, like, you could meet a real weirdo. So I understand it from like a safety perspective. But then I've also heard situations, you know, it's like, just because a guy doesn't want a second date with a woman doesn't mean he's like a bad guy. And I've had then heard women saying, like, oh, he's like a player. He is like this, he's that. And it's like, okay, well, it's like things don't always work out when you want them to. And that's obviously not a reason to like, out somebody on the Internet.
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B
So what are your thoughts about the dating apps? Like, are you pro dating apps or against it?
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C
I feel like it's a necessary evil, but I'm frankly becoming more and more skeptical of dating apps every year. I think they used to be. I mean, so people have been using them for so long and they used to be a really good way to meet people. And of course, people still meet their forever partner on dating apps. I'm not saying that they don't, but I think it's just become so saturated and so much Noise. For both men and women, it's really hard to stand out. It's really hard to actually understand if someone is going to be a good fit. It really caters to short term connection, not long term connection, but it gives people the false sense that they have like all these options. So I think it actually can be really if, especially if you're not using them, like quote how I would argue like is correct. For example, if you're just like relying solely on them to date, it can be really detrimental actually to your dating life. And also just like societal dating expectations and norms.
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B
Well, I've heard so many things about like the crossover. So when people set their radius, I guess on the dating apps, there's only so many people that are on it, right. So there's obviously going to be crossover to some extent. If people are just out there dating, trying to get to know somebody, then they might try to go and get to know somebody else on a dinner date tomorrow.
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D
Right.
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B
And there's a ton of crossover and it's just, it's not a good look.
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C
Yeah, yeah, because I totally agree. Because on one hand I do feel like you're not. If you go on one date with somebody, you're not in an exclusive relationship with them. Like, you need to date around. You need to see what else is out there. Like, just because you on one date, that doesn't mean, I think for either men or women, that there's like an expectation that you can't see other people. But when you're meeting people online, like to your point, in a specific radius, it can get very tricky. And that's where I think, like, the, are we dating? The same person can come in where it's like, what are expectations? And that's why I really encourage, like, you can never assume something like assume you're exclusive or assume the other person isn't dating until you've had the conversation. So I'm always a really big fan of like, have the potentially awkward conversation be on the same page because it just avoids hurt feelings and like really awkward situations.
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B
Wait, so if you were giving somebody advice, obviously it'll be for free on this podcast, but if you were giving somebody advice on how to have that awkward conversation, what would you say? Because I see that posted all the time. Like, I thought we were exclusive, but evidently, yeah.
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C
I mean, I would also say you can never exhume exclusivity. And I tell guys this all the time. I'm like, listen, if you have sex with a woman, she may assume you are exclusive. And, like, I'm not saying I, like, tell everyone, no assumptions, but you need to get ahead of that conversation and either clarify that you are or aren't, to avoid the problem where it's like, you get posted on a site for, like, you know, screwing somebody over. Um, so my. I mean, my advice is always just, like, bring it up. And so it depends, like, what you're. What you want. You know, if you want to talk that you want to be exclusive, that's a different conversation, a way to broach the subject, than, like, you're in a position where you're worried the other person thinks you're exclusive and you don't want to be. But let's say you do want to be exclusive. I'm always a really big fan of just expressing that desire without necessitating an answer back. So saying something along the lines of, I've really enjoyed getting to know you the past couple months. I don't know if you necessarily feel the same way yet, but I'm not interested in exploring other relationships. So I've decided to delete the apps and focus my attention here. And so it leaves them to either say, yes, I agree, the same way, or like, I'm not quite there yet, or like, no answer, which is also like, okay, they're not there yet, but you've made your. And I think that's a problem with people. It's like, everyone wants to have the upper hand and seem like they're the cooler one and like, they're the more aloof one and they're not the one who wants to be in the relationship. But I think actually being confident enough to speak your mind and say what you want is really attractive.
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B
I think a lot of people use the apps because they're interested in the chase. And then there are some people that use the apps because they're genuinely looking to settle down. And what I have heard are specifically, guys will post on there that they're looking for some type of exclusive relationship, and the women are going off based off of what they saw on their profile with what they're experiencing on these dates, and just assuming, oh, well, because I'm on a date with this person, then they're looking for exclusivity. So that's going to be us.
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E
Okay, you guys have heard all about how this year has been really nuts for us and how we're implementing new structure and new things across the board over here at Southern T. And we have been discussing guessing, doing that with our health. We're taking control of our health this new year and we are doing it with Momentous. The beginning of the year is when we recommit to the habits that support our health and well being and naturally we start looking at what can support those goals, including supplements. But choosing the right supplements can be confusing because not only are there so many brands out there, the supplement industry itself is a low trust category. It's slightly regulated products are easy. Its lightly regulated products are easy to Lightly regulated products are easy to make and companies don't even have to list everything on their label. That's exactly why Lindsey's partnered with Momentous. They've become the high trust brand in a low trust category. They weren't satisfied with the industry standard so they built the Momentous standard. Their commitment to doing things the right way, not the easy way. Lindsay has gotten us all into Momentous. We are taking control of our health together this year. So I really recommend you guys do the same. Momentous sources only the highest quality ingredients on the planet. Their whey protein comes from grass fed European dairy cows. Their creatine uses the purest form of creatine monohydrate. And every formula is made with clinical backed, highly bioavailable nutrients with no fillers and no artificial sweeteners. Right now, Momentous is offering our listeners up to 35% off your first order with promo code SOUTHERN TEA. Head to livemomentous.com and use promo code SOUTHERN TEA for up to 35 percent off your first order. That's libmomentous.com promo code SOUTHERN T. This.
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A
Episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law, not available in all states.
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C
And I think it's like you need to remember and this should be true for anybody, whether or not you want to be exclusive with someone should depend on your relationship with that person and that person. Like just because somebody wants an exclusive relationship doesn't mean they want an exclusive relationship with you. Like harsh but like you should never like assume. Like same with even like things you see see on people's apps. Like I've heard guys say that too. Like, oh well this woman said like this or that on her app. It's like, well did you talk about it because just because somebody said something online or you saw a post or something they put on their Instagram you're reading between the lines. That's not reality.
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B
Well, I think a lot of times people shy away from asking the hard questions because they might not necessarily want to know the real answer, but at the same time they're mentally seeking the real answer. When I was dating after divorce, I just went into it very honestly and I just said, hey, like, this is what I'm looking for. And once it got to a certain point, it's like, okay, we could either choose to be exclusive or not, but not going to go down this path of, you know, you're seeing so and so on this day and then me on that day, that's not going to work.
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C
Yeah, I think that's really wise because if you let, for men or women, if you let the other person have their cake and eat it too, that's the way to guarantee you're surely not going to get what you want. And if you set that hard boundary and you stand up for yourself like you just described, you might not get what you want with them, but it opens you up to find it with somebody else.
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B
I agree, I the apps, to me it's just kind of like a meat market. And I just don't love the idea of swiping left or swiping right based off of what somebody wrote and a photo.
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C
Exactly. That's why, I mean, like, there's a lot of studies out there, like academic psychologists that speak about apps are they're you're picking off of short term, you know, because that's all the information you have. All you have is like basically their looks and like a few sentences. So you absolutely cannot determine if there is potential for long term. So you're being forced to pick on short term preferences. And that means you're probably passing, actually passing up a lot of people who you could have long term potential with because they don't meet your short term, like needs or desires.
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B
I can tell you for a fact, three people that I've dated, if I would have seen them on a dating app, I probably would have not swiped right, if that's what they say.
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C
Totally. Yeah, exactly.
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B
But meeting them in person and having that personal interaction with them, that changes the whole game.
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C
Totally. I don't know that I would have swiped right on my husband. We met in person.
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B
Really?
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C
Yeah. And he approached me. And so that's another thing like as for guys and we can talk about maybe tactics for women to how they can get approached more, but as a guy, like if you're not, it's, it's really Hard to stand out on an app because as a woman, you. There's just, you know, in it. You know, you have so many matches online as a woman, like, and you can't tell good from bad or what's left from right. So as a man, a really easy way to stand out is just approach a woman that shows your confident. She gets to see your personality. You can tell almost instantaneously if there is some sort of, like, vibe or connection. And, yeah, that's. My husband approached me in real life and, you know, obviously it worked out.
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B
So how would you tell someone as a woman how they can be approached?
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C
Yeah, because I love this because I think people are getting super, for lack of a better word, lazy about meeting people in real life. Like, everyone is just relying on the apps and relying on social media. And it's really sad for all of the reasons we just talked about. It caters to the short term, not the long term, and therefore people are really struggling today. I work with men all the time. Men are nervous to approach. They are so scared. And, you know, we can get into all of the reasons for that, but, like, especially the guys I work with, who are the good guys and who are the guys who constantly hear, like, oh, you're nice, like, there's someone out there for you. You're just not for me. You know, they are the ones who are petrified of approaching because they think they're going to be perceived as creepy or. Or they don't think women want to be approached or women won't be interested in them. And so as a woman, I do think it's the guy's job to ask a woman out. I'm not saying, like, women have to be the one to approach, but if you can give opportunities to open the conversation or to signal that you're open to being approached, it will be so helpful. So little things like, don't wear your headphones all the time. You're sitting and waiting for your coffee. If you're riding the subway, if you're walking down the street, take your headphones out. Because that is, like, the universal sign of, like, don't effing talk to me if you have your headphones in. You know, it makes it so hard. Also, make eye contact with people. Like, smile at guys. Like, give them, like, the lingering look. That's like, what I tell guys to look for all the time. And then lastly, like, strike up a conversation. Like, if there's a guy, a cute guy sitting at the table next to you or at the bar or in the elevator Again, I'm not saying you have to be the one to carry it all, but just that little icebreaker, like, whoa, that's a huge pizza you got there. Or like, oh, triple shot this morning. Like, must be a big day. Like, whatever. Like, tiny, tiny, tiny micro interaction that signals like you're friendly and open to conversation will then allow the guy, if they're interested and if they, like, have those capabilities to then spark up a conversation and potentially ask you out. Because that's what I hear. The biggest complaint from guys is, like, I just feel like I never get any signal from women. There's, like, they're not smiling, they're not looking at me. They have their headphones in, like, ever. And then men and women, everyone's like this in their phone all the time. So that's the obvious one. Put your phone down.
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B
I am the queen of that. I feel like I'm the meme of Courtney Kardashian, like, walking down the street, and it's a paparazzi photo, and it's literally like, just her phone screen, and you can tell she's not on a call, but she's just trying not to be approached. I feel like so many people do that.
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C
Yeah, yeah. And I think, obviously, if you don't want to be approached and, like, sure, keep your headphones in, but if you're the type of woman who's like, I want to meet somebody, like, I wish I got. I imagine I met more people in person. I'm sick of going on dates from dating apps. Then do those things that are going to make. And then, like, of course, put yourself in the environments as well. Like, get out of your house, go to interest areas of yours. Get out and do pick up hobbies, go to community events, go to meetups. Like, do all of those things. And then combine that with, like, making yourself more available, and I think you'll be surprised.
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B
Okay, so let's take it back to college. Number one, I want to know what sorority you were in.
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C
I was in Gamma Phi Beta at the University of Arizona.
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B
Okay. I was a five meal. Okay. So can you just explain back when.
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D
You were helping your college friends what.
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B
Patterns you were noticing that made you think, like, this is bigger than what I realized?
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C
Yeah. I think the most, like, kind of aha thing that I would see is that the guys who are the nicest were often the guys who were struggling with women. Yeah. They were the guys not getting dates, the guys who didn't have dates to, like, the formals. And these were the Guys who everyone like, objectively said, oh, you'll make such a good boyfriend, but the girls weren't picking them. And a lot of that, in my opinion, comes down to, you know, actually tactical advice, like things that they could do differently to be noticed by women, to have the. The vibe and the charisma and the confidence of the guys who were doing better with women. And so that's what inspired me. You know, some of it is like, you are who you are. Like, I definitely don't want to make a nice guy not a nice, caring, empathetic guy. Like, women want that, but they also want a guy who goes after what he wants, who's not scared of what other people think, who is confident. And that's why you. When you hear like, oh, nice guys finish last, like, girls like assholes, it's like, no, it's not like women like assholes, but there are certain qualities that assholes possess that are really attractive. You know, they don't care what other people think. They go after what they want. They aren't scared to say what's on their mind or to say the potentially awkward or inappropriate thing. And those that. That projects confidence, and that's provider mentality.
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B
See, I feel like, weirdly updated across the board. Like the shy guy, actually two shy guys and then one very outgoing person, and I ended up with outgoing person.
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C
That's who you married?
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B
Well, I'm not married. I'm dating. But yeah, that's who I'm with. My ex husband was super, super shy. Like, very awkward. Approach the guy after him, same thing.
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C
Did you meet them all in person?
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B
I did, I did. I met my ex husband through college friends. The other guy I met was at a trampoline park. And the guy I'm currently dating, I met through mutual friends as well.
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C
Amazing.
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B
And I just love it. Like, I would never.
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C
And.
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B
And I'm not saying it's a bad idea. I just could never see myself getting on the app and just randomly planning a coffee date or like a dinner with a stranger.
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C
Well, it's amazing that you don't have to. So clearly you've built a life in a community, in a social circle that you meet enough people in person and obviously, like, you're a very desirable woman. So, like, you don't have to go to the apps. And I think it also sounds like, you know, good thing when you've got it, like, you're willing to go out with a guy. And, you know, I think that a mentality that the dating apps and social media create For a lot of people is like, okay, let's say you met this guy through friends. You're great, he's really good. But like, what if there's somebody better? So you download the apps and then there's always like, okay, what if there's one? If I just swipe one more time or if I go on one more date, then I'll have somebody who checks all the boxes or who's perfect. And like, obviously I know nothing about your current relationship or who you're dating, but it's like, nobody's perfect. Right. But so you have to recognize, like, when, okay, I want to give this a shot and like, see what could be here as opposed to like, I need to see what else could be out there.
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B
Do you feel like that's a huge problem in dating right now, specifically with the apps and how they're set up? That it's this mentality of the next best thing and there's still options?
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C
Yeah. And it gives the illusion that you have infinity options and that there's all of these potential prospects out there that are great prospects for you and a great match. And according to the app, like, high compatibility. And it's like that literally means nothing. And I think it keeps people unsatisfied.
- [23:57]
D
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- [24:54]
C
Skin.
- [24:55]
D
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- [25:41]
B
Okay, so tell me how you find clients. Is it word of mouth? Like, how do people just find you and decide that they're going to use a matchmaker?
- [25:52]
C
Yeah, so it's some word of mouth, but it's really social media. Instagram X? Yeah, YouTube. So pretty much like all organic social media. It's like, it's funny. My coaching business is like, no word of mouth. I've had over 7,000 clients and basically no word of mouth because it's kind of like an embarrassment. It shouldn't be, but, like, people are embarrassed by it. It's not like a guy all of a sudden is like, doing better on dates, like, good at approaching women. He's like, telling his buddies, like, yeah, I took by this girl who, like, gave me the confidence to approach. They're just like, yeah, I'm good at this. You know, they're not like, telling all their friends to sign up too. So, yeah, that. That was like a funny realization. Is like referrals. Wasn't a thing with matchmaking more so because it's less stigmatized and it's almost like more of a flex. Like, oh, I'm like paying somebody to outsource my. My dates. So that is. But then also, yeah, just social media.
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B
I feel like that would somewhat, maybe being. Be embarrassing for a man to be like, I'm taking this dating course because I don't know how to do it by myself. So I could see that a little bit. But what causes these men to turn to do this? Like, is it constant rejection? Is it lack of confidence? Is it a combination of both?
- [27:15]
C
Yeah, I think it's both of those. Or. And like, the fundamental thing is just not having the dating life that they want. So, you know, they. Whatever it is, they want something that they're not getting. Maybe they're not getting first dates. Maybe none of their first dates are turning into second dates. Maybe they're getting dates, but they're not with the type of women they're most interested in. So those are all reasons that a guy might say, like, you know what? I want to try something different. I'm going to take this course and see what happens. And you know, the success stories I've had because I've been doing this since 2020. I've tons of marriages, baby announcements. I get wedding invites where it's like, wow, I never would have met my fiance or my wife or my girlfriend if I hadn't taken your course. If I hadn't had the confidence to approach her, or if I hadn't upgraded my dating app profile. If I hadn't known these steps to take, then I wouldn't be here today. Like, that's so, you know, that's such a. An amazing, heartwarming feeling. And I think that is because dating has changed so much in the last decade. Two decades. Like, you know, crazy. Like, we didn't even text 20 years ago, really, you know, and like, now that's like, basically our main form of communication. You're expected to make a profile and market yourself in six photos and 150 characters. Like, that's not natural. Of course people are struggling. Of course guys don't know what to do. I think, you know, women are like, women struggle too, but it's. It's a different struggle. But for the guys, it's like they're just like, totally lost. Like, some of them, I'd even where to begin. Which is why there was, you know, space for me to create something like this and, and help guys. And people always ask, like, oh, why do you work with guys instead of girls? And it's like, well, I feel like.
- [29:01]
B
I should ask that.
- [29:03]
C
By helping the men, I'm also, I'm helping the women, right? Like, they now know what to do. They know how to approach. They know how to send the text message, God forbid. Know how to plan a good date. They know what a first date should be. They know what a second date should be. Like, they know they need to clean up their apartment before you come over.
- [29:21]
B
Oh, my gosh, that. I mean, I feel like if you make it number one, I would never go to somebody's house just like, right off the bat. But if you make it to the point that you're going to someone's house and it looks like a disaster struck, that's a sign that that man doesn't have his shit together. No.
- [29:39]
C
Oh, my God. It'd be horrifying. Like, no dishes, you know, like, have a. But even little things, it's like, have a throw blanket. Like, get a nice candle. Like, not one from cvs. Like, a nice candle. Here's five brands. Buy one of them. Light the candle, Have a couple bottles of wine. Like, have filtered water, clean Glasses, like, little things. Like there should be a trash can with a trash can liner in it. Like, things that, like, you think like. But like, especially like young men or recently divorced guys, it's like they don't know.
- [30:10]
B
They don't know that well with recently divorced guys. I have a different theory on that.
- [30:15]
C
Yeah.
- [30:16]
B
So my theory is if you got a guy young, in the situation that I was in with my marriage, we were both 19 when we met. And so, yes, he had amazing parents, but as far as really knowing how to do in a house, he never knew how to do any of that.
- [30:38]
C
He went from his parents doing it.
- [30:39]
B
To you doing it to me doing it. And then he learned a lot of stuff along the way. And so I struggled a little bit post divorce. When I went into his house the first time and I saw the way it was kept, I was like, wow, somebody else is really gonna benefit off of my freaking hard work.
- [30:58]
C
You've whipped him into shame.
- [31:00]
B
It's like, there's candles, there's cleaning supplies, the linens are right. The tower towels are all, like, in the right way. That'll really piss you off. It's like, I should have just left.
- [31:14]
C
Him like a little duster all of those years. Right.
- [31:20]
B
Okay, so I do want to ask you, as a matchmaker, what criteria do.
- [31:25]
D
You look for in terms of compatibility.
- [31:27]
B
Like, in comparison with what the apps use? Obviously apps are using algorithms and stuff like.
- [31:32]
C
Like that. Yeah, the algorithm. Okay. So the apps are putting people in front of you who they know you want to see. So it's really based on, like I said before, looks and short term compatibility. As a matchmaker, the things I'm looking for, it's like, yes. Are these people going to find each other attractive otherwise, like, nobody's going to take the date. But more long term compatibilities, which is actual values. What's important in your life, what are the things you want for your future, both that you say you want and, like, reading between the lines that I, like, think you want. What are. Like, what is. How do you spend your time on the weekends, in your free time? What do you like to do for fun? Is there, like, some overlap there? I don't. I definitely don't believe that you need to, like, have all of the same interests and need to want to do the same thing all the time, because that would be boring. But if you want to do totally opposite things all the time, that's probably not going to work out. Especially with relationships that are starting later in life. I think when you're like 19 and I don't know, maybe this you can, you know, speak to this. Like, it's easy to just fall into, okay, we're in love, like, this is it. And like, maybe you actually don't even have that much in common, but you don't really notice that at 19 or you have things in common then. But then fast forward 10 years and like you've developed totally different interests. But when you're in your late 20s, 30s, and 40s, like, you typically have more of a sense of who you are and what you like to do. So it's like if one person wants to like go out late and sleep in like every day on the weekend, and the other person's like, oh, no, I'm up before sunrise, like drinking coffee, going on my bike ride, like, even if you have like other long term goals and values, like, that's still probably not going to be a good match. So it's like the Venn diagram of values, goals and interests. And like, do you have enough of intersecting in those three things to be a believably strong match?
- [33:25]
B
I've seen so many of my girlfriends that are dating who use apps and they will swipe right based off of just a guy's appearance alone. And I just could never see myself doing that because that fades. Like you can become very ugly to somebody really fast.
- [33:46]
C
No, absolutely. And the guy who's getting the right swipe based on his appearance is getting a lot of right swipes. Like every, like, you know, if he's like traditionally or universally attractive, like he's going to be getting a lot of matches and is, is he going to be somebody who's like looking for something long term or is he maybe seeking validation and going on a lot of dates? Like, you know, I don't know. I'm not saying every good looking guy is like going on a ton of dates, but he certainly has the option too if like he's the type of guy who you're only swiping yes on because he's good looking.
- [34:20]
B
I did want to comment just on dating. When you're like in your early, early 20s to now, I'm 36. The things I would be looking for would be completely different things because I do think as you grow and you mature and you become like steady in a career and possibly, you know, have children and maybe have been married before and then divorced, I feel like the stuff that you're looking for wouldn't have been things that I would have been.
- [34:47]
D
Looking for at 19.
- [34:49]
B
I didn't really know necessarily what I was looking for. I do think that you're both still kind of growing up to some degree if you're the same age.
- [34:56]
D
And so you're kind of developing joint.
- [34:58]
B
Interest rather than coming into the relationship with individual interest.
- [35:03]
C
Yeah. What do you feel like some of the biggest differences that like, you wouldn't have thought you needed as a 19 year old, but now you're like, oh, this is a non negotiable in a partner or relationship.
- [35:13]
B
Non negotiable for me now is space in my job, space now with my child individually, which I didn't have him. Whenever we started dating, I would say space for my own personal interest. Like I want to be fulfilled. And when I say like hobbies, I don't really have a ton of them, but I need to like, fill my cup before I start filling somebody else's cup. And I think when I was 19 years old, it was so about, like being the people pleaser girl of I wanted to do everything that I possibly can to fill his cup.
- [35:54]
C
Maybe the perfect girlfriend. The perfect one.
- [35:57]
B
Yes. And I'll be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife, the perfect mother. And I found myself and didn't even realize it about myself and had to talk through it in therapy that I. I love to get my nails done, but I feel like somewhat at that time with what I was doing with work, it was kind of like a necessity. Filming on TV and some people would be like, lindsay, getting your nails done is not a necessity. But to me it was to be presentable for my job.
- [36:25]
D
Right.
- [36:26]
B
And I realized that that was something that I used to like to do is somewhat of like a hobby and self care. And I was now considering those things as chores towards the end of my marriage. And it's because I wasn't taking care of myself.
- [36:42]
C
Yeah, that makes sense.
- [36:45]
D
All right, y'.
- [36:45]
C
All.
- [36:45]
D
I talked about at the beginning of the year that I wanted to try to put myself together a little bit better before I left the house to do school drop off. And one product that I have started to use every single day is the Jones Road Beauty Miracle Balm. It is so perfect, it does not cover up too much of your natural look. And it just makes you feel so much more put together. You're not trying to look flawless. You're just trying to feel good in your own skin. And sometimes I just want to see my actual face, but just feel healthier and more radiant. And this product is absolutely perfect for that. I also love that the Miracle Balm has been able to replace multiple steps in my routine. So you can use this product as a highlighter, a bronzer, a blush or lip tint. It is the ultimate no plus multitasker. You do not need brushes. There is no complicated routine. You just use your fingers and go. It's just giving that your skin but better glow in under 60 seconds. Perfect for what? I said busy morning drop off for the kids. Perfect for travel. I hate to travel with a bunch.
- [37:52]
B
Of stuff on my face.
- [37:53]
D
So this is so perfect for that. And it is so great too to just feel fresh to go to a workout class. Every formula at Jones Road Beauty is packed with skin loving ingredients. So it nourishes your skin instead of clogging or caking. And it feels natural like you're not really wearing makeup at all. So if you want makeup that brings out your natural glow instead of hiding it, Jones Road is the way to go. For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free shimmer face oil on their first purchase when they use code Southern Tea at checkout. Just head to Jones roadbeauty.com and use code Southern Tea at checkout. After you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Please support this show and tell them.
- [38:37]
B
That we sent you. What is something that you feel like you've changed your own mind about after the years of coaching people through dating?
- [38:46]
C
Oh, okay. I don't know if this is like change. I mean this has been, my mind has been changed. And I think it's maybe partially because the coaching but maybe partially because age and it's something I preach so much to younger women is like the things, super, the superficial things that initially attract you to somebody are not the things that are going to make you happy in the long run. And so the more that you can put those things aside in the beginning and really look at like, okay, not like, oh, is this okay, Almost like an ego boost. Like, is this person like, I think they're hot, other people think they're hot. So it's boosting my ego and therefore I want to be with them. And it like feels good to be around them because like, like, wow, they like me and that makes me feel special. That does not lead to a longevity or a happy relationship. So can you really look for like the things I said before, the shared values, the long term goals and the interests oversecting, like that was something like I definitely personally in my 20s prioritized more and it's something I see so often, like as I'm doing matchmaking, if I Reach. It's like the women in their 20s, like, when they fill out my matchmaking intake, like, like their deal breakers, you know, are a mile long and they're like super superficial. And then like, you see a woman who's 35 and she fills it out. And like, her. Not always, but oftentimes, like, her deal breakers are like, much more. Okay, like, we're misaligned on whether or not we want to have kids or, like, he doesn't like to travel because that's something that's really important to me. It's like how they spend their time and how they show up in the relationship. And so I think that's just something I become so much more hyper aware of. And, and it's like, if I could give advice to younger women, it's like, focus less on the superficial and more on, like, how they make you feel and whether or not those like, important things are aligned.
- [40:42]
B
So when I first started dating and my girlfriends had been dating for like, years prior to this, I was one of the first people married, like in my friend group and just trying to get advice from them, they kept telling me, multiple of them kept telling me, hey, when you like, like, get exclusive with someone and you make that choice, go ahead and take the trip, it will tell you so much about the relationship in so many different ways. And so that, to me, can become a deal breaker.
- [41:11]
C
Oh, for sure. Yeah. You go on a trip together and you're not compatible.
- [41:15]
B
Yeah. Because I mean, think about all the things that come along with a trip. Right. It's like how you travel the way you, how you.
- [41:25]
C
Like if you hit a. If the flight's delayed, is it like, oh, screw this. This is why I hate the airport. Like, everyone's pissing me off. Or is it like, hey, it's part of the adventure. Let's like grab beers and play dice. You know, it's like, how do they handle, like, the little adversities?
- [41:39]
B
For sure. What would you say that the biggest misconception people have about dating coaches or.
- [41:44]
C
Matchmakers, that someone who needs a dating coach or a matchmaker is helpless or like, not a catch? Because I think that's like actually the opposite of the truth. I think, you know, especially someone who hires a dating coach is somebody who takes self improvement seriously and invests in their. Their self and is clearly prioritizing and intentional about dating. So I think it's like a huge green flag. And likewise with matchmaking, it's like the type of guys who hire me for matchmaking, they don't struggle with dating. They're like my clients for matchmaking and my clients for dating coaching are like actually two very distinct buckets. My clients for matchmaking are more men who are intentional with dating. They're looking for something serious and they don't have the time to meet people or they don't have the social circles to meet the type of women they want.
- [42:35]
B
I feel like dating can become very exhausting. People tell me all the time, it's like, that's my part time job to my full time job.
- [42:44]
C
Oh, so time consuming. You have to make the profile and you have to swipe on, you know, a hundred people and then, okay, you're having 10 conversations and then that leads to eventually one date and then that person, you get on the date and it's like immediately obvious that this person isn't for you. It's a huge, huge time suck. And a lot of that can be, I mean, especially when you're dating online because like you lose so much nuance about somebody where it's like, if you just met that person at a party, you would have known immediately that they weren't for you. But instead you've now invested like hours and hours and hours of like getting to that date just like immediately know. So, yeah, it's definitely a full time job.
- [43:24]
B
Speaking of that, what would be your advice to either a man or a woman regarding a first date? Like, is that coffee? Is that drinks? Is that a full blown dinner? Like, what is it?
- [43:36]
C
So if you meet online, I really encourage people to think of the first first date as like actually date zero because you don't know this person. So like, this is just a vibe check. You don't need to like be stuck at a long dinner. So in the case of meeting online, I'm actually a really big fan of just like one quick drink, like even before you have dinner plans or like a coffee or a brief walk because it's just super lightweight. It's easy for each party to say yes to and fit into their day. Then if that goes well, then you have like your first official date, which can be dinner or a meal and is a bit more involved if you've been set up by friends or you've met in person. Okay. Then essentially like the vibe check has already happened. So then I think a first date as like a dinner or an activity is a bit more appropriate. But I like the one hour rule. So it's like one hour per date. So it's like your first date's one hour. Your second date's two hours. Your third date's three hours. And it's not like you're having a great time. You can't go longer than that. But the plan that is proposed and committed to should fit within that window.
- [44:36]
B
That makes so much sense.
- [44:37]
C
Don't go to a baseball game on your second date. That's seven hours.
- [44:42]
B
Absolutely not. I don't want to go to a baseball game period, let alone on a first date. That sounds absolutely treacherous. Okay, so when you're doing the matchmaking, I'm so interested in this. So what does that process actually look like and how do you vet to find the person for the man?
- [45:03]
C
Yeah, so a few different ways. Like my male client, I only work with men. So like a client, a guy client comes to me, we have like a consultation and I understand if there's somebody I want to match for. I don't take on people who I'm not going to be able to or my team is not going to be able to be proud representing and selling because we're not going to get on the phone with a we're girls, girls. We're not going to be like, he's great and he like sucks, you know.
- [45:25]
B
Right.
- [45:25]
C
Make sure that this is someone we want to match for. Okay? It is. We get to know him and we understand who he is, what makes him tick, what's he looking for, what are his long term goals? So his matchmaker gets to know him really well and who he's. Look who he thinks he's looking for and who we, we think he's looking for. And then we go out and we find women. So we do that through, you know, personal professional networks. We do that through online outreach. We do that through some women reaching out to us. So for single women out there who are like, hey, I would be interested in being matched, you can fill out my intake. It's just dating by blaine.com women so super easy. And then you'll be in our database. So if we have a guy who fits what you are looking for and we think would be a good match, we'll reach out to you that way. So then the matchmaker would have a call with a woman. She basically the matchmaker like does a first date. Matchmaker already knows the guy really well and then she basically does a first date with the woman like a zoom call or a phone call to understand again if it's what both parties are looking for because again, the male is our paying client. But it's just as important to us that he is also what the woman is looking for just as important that she's what he's looking for because otherwise it's still not going to be a good date.
- [46:36]
B
Right.
- [46:37]
C
So once we're like, pretty sure or we feel confident that these two people would enjoy meeting, then we'll create the match and make the connection. And then I think my biggest, like, pet peeve is both for men and women. It's like, like we're doing from our professional opinion, if we're like, this is a really strong match. We think you're gonna have so much in common. My advice is like, take the date. Like, at the very least, like, this is going to be an interesting person to be connected with. Who knows? Maybe I'm not saying it's your husband. I have no idea. But you know, it could just. It's an interesting conversation. It could be a good friend, it could lead to a connect, a different type of connection. Maybe you end up like setting them up with somebody, you know? You know, there's just so many places it could go. But if somebody and I give this advice for like anytime somebody's trying to set you up, it's like, just take the date. I think people take it sometimes, like too seriously, where it's like, you know, I'm just looking at his photo and I just like, don't feel like he's my future husband. And it's like, you can't tell that by a photo. And the fact that you think you can is probably what's holding you back dating. Because if you're using that same mentality online, then you're probably missing out on a lot of really awesome men and ending up on dates with men who actually aren't good for your long term goals.
- [47:53]
B
So basically the matchmaker on your team or you take the first date and then do they know what each other looks like and stuff? Like profiles and stuff exchanged ahead of that.
- [48:06]
C
Yeah. So like, let's say the matchmaker meets. Let's say, like, I'm the matchmaker. I meet you, I get to know you. We have a great phone call. Okay. You sound like you'd be great for my client. Then I would say, okay, Lindsay, I have a guy in mind for you. Here he is. Here's his pro. Here's a few. Here's a bit about him. Here's why I think you guys in particular would be a really good match. Here's what you have in common. Here's, you know, age, location, photos of him. And then assuming you say, like, yeah, I want to meet him, then we go back to the guy, we say, okay, we have a match for you. Her name is Lindsay. She is amazing for XYZ reasons. Here's why it's going to be a strong match. Here's what you we think you'll talk about on a first date. Here's a few photos of her that you would have given us. And then assuming he's like, yes, I can't wait to meet, then we connect you and you guys would go on a first date.
- [48:52]
B
That's so interesting. So what is your thoughts on the show Married at First Sight?
- [48:58]
C
I mean, it's a TV show. It's like for entertainment. I think there's something to be said about, you know, paying attention, like I've said, to the non physical aspects. But at the end of the day, you do have to be attracted to your partner. And I think a lot of attraction grows once you meet and once you know each other. Which is why I don't like people making snap second decisions on photos. But there also has to be like a baseline attraction. Like, that's what I always like tell both the men and women. Like, listen, if you're unattracted to them and you're like, like, it's like, okay, don't take the day, it's not gonna work out. But if you're just like, oh, I don't envision that as like my person. He's cute, but he's like a little balder than I'd like or like a little shorter than I'd like. It's like, just meet him because like none of those things are actually gonna determine whether or not you're long term happy.
- [49:49]
B
I can tell you that from experience. That is definitely true, but. All right, y', all, let's take a.
- [49:56]
D
Quick second to talk about branch basics and how it has earned a permanent spot in my cleaning routine and has replaced so many old products. Here's the thing about cleaning products. You use them every single day on the counters where you prepare food, the laundry detergent that you wash your clothes in, and the floors that your little ones crawl on. And with a new year here, it is the perfect time to ask a simple but important question. Do you actually know what you're cleaning your home with and how it might be affecting how you feel? I know it sounds so small, but the products in your environment play a huge role in your overall well being, especially if you're resetting routines, building healthier habits, or starting 2026 with more intention. A lot of the problem is that a Lot of products look clean but still contain ingredients linked to hormone disruption, skin irritation and respiratory issues. In the US cleaning brands don't even have to list every ingredient. So you may be spraying and washing with things that you would never knowingly bring into your home. I actually started a way long time ago with your premium starter kit which comes with one powerful concentrate that makes everything. So we're talking laundry detergent, bathroom cleaner, glass cleaner, and even pet wash and vegetable rinse. Just one plant and mineral based formula replaces it all and it is safe for babies, pets and anyone wanting to reduce their daily exposure. And here is the good news. Branch Basics is now available everywhere you shop. At target, target.com Amazon and of course brand and of course branch basics.com tossing the toxins has never been more convenient. And for anyone grabbing the Premium starter kit, you can still get 15 off@branchbasics.com with my code Southern Tea. Just use my Code Southern tea for 15 off the premium starter kit@branchbasics.com after you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. And please make sure to mention my show.
- [51:59]
B
Speaking of attraction, when it comes to attraction, what actually matters in real life and not on social media?
- [52:05]
C
I mean I think so much of like whether or not you're actually attracted to someone is the, the unquantifiable, like the non verbal, the, the things that you can't even quite put your finger on. And that's why it's impossible to tell with the photos. It's like, like the tone of their voice, like the way they carry themselves, the way they look at you, the way they interact and move through the world around them. And you can't tell any of that until you are with them in person. And just like that can make somebody way more attractive, it can also make somebody way less attractive. You can see a guy, a photo of a guy who's so hot and then you get with him in person and he's just like a lump on a log and like not that nice to the server and doesn't make eye contact with you and doesn't ask you questions and you're like, like okay, you're not even that hot anymore. I don't know why I thought you were so hot, you know.
- [52:51]
B
Well, I think also people forget that social media is a highlight reel, right? And so you're seeking somebody out via social media profile and you're not really seeing who they are in their entirety.
- [53:05]
D
You're seeing what they want you to see.
- [53:08]
C
And speaking of that, I Feel like this is like a controversial topic. But I do see this with women sometimes online and I think it's something that it's like depending on what you are looking for. I caught this is both for men and women. You need to be aware of how you market yourself online. Because sometimes I think how people market themselves online isn't actually aligned with who they are or what, who they're looking to attract. So like the guy example is like they just have shit photos of themselves. They have old outdated photos and they look really bad. But the example that I've actually seen happen with women is, you know, all of a call with a woman and she's like, I'm really looking for my person. You know, she's awesome, she's smart, she's genuine, she's mature, she knows what she wants. I have a great call with her. The client then will find her social media, because I don't share the social media but it's obviously very easy to find people on social media. And you know, there's photos of her like on a private jet. There's a bunch of photos in her, of, in her with, of her in a bikini. And all of a sudden the guy's like, yeah, like, I just, I don't think I want the date anymore. Like she, like, I don't want that type of girl. And it's like, okay, what does that even, you know, like what, whatever you are assuming about her. Like I'm telling you, I spoke with her, like that's not her vibe. But I will, I would cautious caution women about, you know, like, what is the, the Persona that you're portraying online? Because I think again, like, you're beautiful, you're high, you're posting bikini shots. It's for fun, it's for your friends. Like, no judgment. I'm not saying that that's like a bad thing, but I think if you're looking for like a husband then they might feel like, oh, if that's the attention she's attracting and the attention she wants, then that's actually not a good long term partner for me.
- [54:56]
B
That's really good advice. I really didn't think about someone looking at photos like that and being like, okay, well that's not what I'm looking for. Even though the person's beautiful or looks very attractive, looks fun, whatever. Also could just be putting off a completely different Persona of who they actually are as a real person.
- [55:19]
C
So yeah, and it's like, and again, that's tough. That goes back to what I was saying. Before it's like social media and online dating. It's all so new. We're all still just like figuring it out and you know, rectifying the like, who we are with how we come off online. It's tough. And I'm not saying I have all the answers right or it's like bad to do this or good to do this. But the call out is definitely if you're looking for something serious, the person who you're going to go out with is going to see that. And how does it portray you?
- [55:49]
B
So I started college in 2008 and back then all we had was like like Facebook and that was even so new because you had to have a college email to even get one. Right. And then think about the world today where it's like you have Tick Tock and you have Instagram and you have Facebook now Facebook dating and the apps and all the things. I mean it really hasn't been that many years for that much development.
- [56:19]
C
No, it's crazy especially, I mean I'm the exact same age as you. And like, I think about back to like those days, it was like, you know, you like took your like camera out with you and now it's like people are live streaming things. It's like instantaneous, everything you're doing. And I think it just, it makes people act so different. It makes people so much more aware of like how they come off, but like not necessarily in a good way and not necessarily in an authentic way. Like it feels very, I guess it's like what I'm saying, I'm like make sure you're careful about like how you look online. But it's like, like it's a double edged sword. It's like on one hand it's like you want to be yourself and you want to be authentic to who you are. But like you also want to make sure that like whoever you are portraying online is authentic to who you are and also who you want to attract.
- [57:06]
B
I feel like we were so much more authentic when we just had Facebook. Right. You had to have the college email and you got the Facebook. And that was back in the time where we had the digital cameras and we didn't go through and like select the best photo wasn't a highlight reel.
- [57:21]
D
Right.
- [57:21]
B
It was your worst highlights. Whatever was on your SIM card is what was downloaded into your Facebook album.
- [57:30]
C
Yeah. And it was like 102 photos of you like stumbling around, like 10 of the same thing that are like blurry and like one eye is closed. Like I really do think back. I'm like, what were we thinking? But it was. It was so much like more carefree.
- [57:43]
B
We absolutely were not thinking back then. So can you tell us about you being on Shark Tank?
- [57:50]
C
Oh, yeah. That was definitely a bucket list experience, like, I'm so glad I did. Was incredibly nerve wracking. It's even hard to describe now where it's like how nervous I was just waiting to go on and doing the pitch. You know, you're in this like, huge, massive room, like ginormous room, and you're like this tiny little person on the stage and the sharks are right in front of you, like actually pretty far away. And then the rest of the room is black. But, you know, there's like hundreds of other people, like in the rafters with cameras and lights and like doing everything. And then everyone is looking at you and all the attention is on you. So it was so fun. Everyone involved in my experience was so nice, from the producers to the casting to the makeup people. It's like everyone was top notch. 10 out of 10, kind, authentic. And so I really, like, from that perspective, loved it. And yeah, I didn't end up. I took a deal with Mark on the show. We didn't end up closing the deal after the fact. It just like, didn't make sense in the end. But I have, like, nothing but amazing things to say about Mark Cuban. He is such a student.
- [59:09]
B
So did you just apply to be on the show and they selected you?
- [59:13]
C
They reached out to me like a casting director was like, had seen an article about me in the New York Times and reached out.
- [59:20]
B
That is so cool.
- [59:22]
C
Yeah, I never would have thought to apply. Like, I. It's not usually those type of like course type businesses or coaching type businesses that you would see on there. So then, like, honestly, when they applied, I thought it was like spam. I was like, there's no way this is real.
- [59:36]
B
And then it was so obviously another show. I want to ask you about with you being in the business that you're in. What are your thoughts on the Bachelor and the Bachelorette?
- [59:48]
C
Okay. I'm not like a die. I don't know. I don't like, watch it really myself, if I'm being honest. I've like watched a couple seasons in the past. I think it's like, it's interesting because, you know, it's like with any. It's like with Married at first sight. It's like this is all for entertainment. It's like for the purposes of the people watching and their pure entertainment, I don't think it really lends itself well to, like, actual connections because you're living in such, like, a fake world. And I think, like, the proof is in the pudding. Like, how many of those relationships have actually ended in happy marriages? Not a. A ton. But I think it's like, a fun and entertaining. Entertaining show that, like, obviously gets incredible talent and, like, really interesting, funny, entertaining people on it.
- [60:39]
B
I mean, I feel like that's so true because they're basically taken out of their real life and everything going on. And I don't know how many days it is. Like 90 days, whatever it is, if you last until the end. But, like, there are no outside factors.
- [60:54]
C
Which is what makes a relationship real.
- [60:57]
D
Right.
- [60:57]
B
And I would say that that's, you know, should be applied to real life dating. If somebody's listening to this. Like, don't be doing things on dates that you wouldn't normally want to be doing.
- [61:09]
D
Right.
- [61:10]
B
Like, maybe getting out of your comfort zone, like, I get it. But portraying something that you can't keep up, that's never gonna work.
- [61:17]
C
No. And that's like, the same even backing up from being on a date, but, like, attracting people. If you're trying to be somebody or not, and you're like, oh, I think if I act like this or if I be like this, like, then this person will like me. It's like, that's not sustainable for happiness. And then also you're gonna miss out on attracting all the people who would like you if you were just yourself versus you trying to be somebody that you're not.
- [61:40]
B
I 100 agree with that. For somebody who's listening to this, who feels stuck, what would be the fastest way to start building that confidence?
- [61:50]
C
Yeah, I really am a believer in building community and social circles. So it's like, if you are feeling like, oh, I wish I was in a different spot dating, or I'm behind, or I really just, like, want to find a person this year. It's like, that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself. And oftentimes doubling down on, like, dating apps or, like, trying to date can actually have the reverse effect because it can be like, dating apps can be a waste of time for all the reason we spoke about. But then also, you can give off, like, a needy energy. So instead of focusing exclusively on dating, focus on building the life that you are, that you love and that you are proud of. Like, pick up hobbies, start building community, make new friends that share your values and interests, and that is going to therefore have a ripple Effect, and you're going to meet more people organically, and then, you know, you have dating in your mind. So your dating life will grow from there.
- [62:43]
B
I feel like a lot of people get. Get burnt out. And I hear so often people say, well, when I stopped looking, I found it, but there's got to be some, like, in the middle there.
- [62:54]
C
Yeah. I think that in the middle is, like, do building the life and, like, cultivating the community and the friends and the people around you that you're proud of. So it's not just like, okay, I'm only focusing on, like, work and getting in shape, and all I do is go to the gym and I go home. You know, like, that's not. That's like, too far of, like, okay, I'm not looking. Like, the in between is look for friends. Look for people in your life. Look for surrounding yourself with people that you'd be proud of, proud to introduce to other people. And then the dating aspect and the romance can build from there.
- [63:28]
B
I love that. Okay, so for everyone who is listening, where can they find you? And can you just describe, like, the different courses that you have if somebody was interested?
- [63:38]
C
Yeah, so my courses are all for men, but if you just go to datingbyblane.com like, everything is there and it's easy. I'm dating by Blaine B L A I N E across all social media. And then for women who want to be set up, datingbyblane.com women. And we'll get in touch if we have a guy we think would be a great fit.
- [63:58]
B
Oh, my gosh. I hope somebody from this community reaches out and gets matched with somebody that would, like, make my life.
- [64:04]
C
That would be so good. We'll find somebody's husband for sure.
- [64:07]
B
And do you work kind of, like.
- [64:08]
D
In all states or.
- [64:10]
C
Yeah, all over the country.
- [64:12]
B
Okay. I love it. Well, thank you so much for joining me. I really appreciate it.
- [64:16]
C
Yeah, Lindsay, thank you for having me, and this was really fun.
- [64:20]
B
Thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode of the Southern Tea Podcast. If you have not followed us on Instagram, you can do that at the.
- [64:28]
D
Southern Tea Podcast Podcast. And you can join our official Facebook group.
- [64:32]
B
If you guys have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app. Always first at Podcast one. We hope you'll have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.
- [64:43]
F
At Pluto tv. We're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monsters Ball and C. We must make a massive demonstration. Iconic hits like School Days and Set It Off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power.
- [65:04]
C
I got you.
- [65:05]
F
It's star studded, brilliant black entertainment and it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Hudo TV Stream now. Hey Never.
- [65:13]
G
Hi, I'm Stassi Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates from my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives, give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines, and sometimes deep dive into random topics. I'm obsessed with like human design. It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it. And you will too. Listen to my podcast Stassi. Wherever you get your podcasts.