← The Southern Tea
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- [00:02]
A
Maybe I'm just like, weird. Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the Southern Tea with Lindsay Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. I don't love them. A Southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now. Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea, and nothing but the tea. That is the tea.
- [00:32]
B
Lindsay.
- [00:36]
A
Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. There are so many changes that are happening over here and I have Kayla on the podcast today. Good morning, Kayla.
- [00:51]
B
Good morning.
- [00:53]
A
You're like, hello.
- [00:55]
B
Hi, how are you?
- [00:58]
A
I actually just got out of the shower. I've been crying what feels like for two days at this point, and just emotionally very unwell. And I just, I can't do this.
- [01:13]
B
I think we all need a good cry, though. You know what I mean? Yes.
- [01:18]
A
So normally Kristen records the Southern Tea with me. And I had said earlier in the year, I don't know if it was like already 2026 or if I talked about it at the end of 2025, but I was talking about how there was going to be some changes to the show and stuff that was going on. And I just want to say today that, you know, Kristen had to make the decision to prioritize her health in the upcoming year. I feel like last year was so tumultuous for her and just getting the Ms. Diagnosis. And I, I feel comfortable in saying that because, you know, you know, she talked about it on here and she has made the decision to kind of step away from the work that she was doing and that included recordings. She, I believe, had conversations with her family and just decided that she really needed to prioritize her health. And, you know, I did feel like that that was going to be what transpired, but just kind of giving her the space to be able to make that decision for herself. And it's, it's been a whirlwind.
- [02:32]
B
It sure has. But, you know, we wish her well. We only want the good things for her. And sometimes it's not a bad idea to just take a step away. And I think our current society is very busy and there's a lot of things coming at us at one time and some of us can't even have time to brush our hair in the morning. So I can't imagine having to deal with the weight of a Chronic illness on top of everything else we deal with in our day to day life. So I support that decision.
- [03:00]
A
I mean, it's so wild. And the year of 2025 was so wild. I feel like for her, with just finding out all of that information and being in and out of a hospital, like, that's not fun for anyone. And I think just the level of stress and needing to focus on herself, I'm sure that that was a very hard, hard decision.
- [03:26]
B
I think so too. But I wish that all of us as people had more time to prioritize our health. I think it tends to be something that falls to the wayside because we are just all stuck in the hustle and bustle of life. And I think if we had more time to focus on ourselves, a lot of us would be a lot healthier.
- [03:44]
A
1,000%. And I know that you kind of picked up on some of my psychotic tendencies. When I get, yeah, sad or uneasy, it's like disarray in my house. Or I create major chaos and then clean it all up. And I don't know why I have that coping mechanism. I literally don't know. But currently right now in my garage, I probably have 30 bags of stuff that I have purged from my house over the last three days.
- [04:21]
B
I mean, I'm right there with you. But I also think it's about control, right? Like when we feel disregulated or certain parts of our life feel out of control, it's easy to create things that we can control. I tell you this all the time. So, like, you dismantling your home and putting it back together surprises me none at all.
- [04:42]
A
Listen, I overhauled this entire house, like down to. Okay, so let me tell you this story. I let my nanny come and visit. I say I let her. She came and visited me a while ago. I think my parents were still in prison at this time. And I had gone out to dinner, I believe, with David. I think I was dating David at the time. And she always says that my sister and I are the absolute worst at laundry. So I know that she would do like laundry and stuff for her when she went to her house. And then when she came to my house, for whatever reason, she felt like it was her responsibility or she made it her responsibility to do all of this laundry. Please tell me why when I come home, everything has a new place.
- [05:40]
B
I think that would send me for a loop, you know what I mean?
- [05:43]
A
And when I tell you the. The decluttering of what she was just trying to put away and get out of sight that I had to do. I'm, like, so thankful because my house did look, like, very nice. And, you know, from the naked eye, as long as she's opening cabinets, everything looked very pristine.
- [06:05]
B
Well, I just think that that's the funniest thing, because I do the exact same thing. Like, everything looks clean, but if you open one of my drawers, you're in for a whole surprise. There's no telling what's in there.
- [06:17]
A
Okay. I absolutely hate. I am, like, one person that hates having a junk drawer. I think that the thought process behind a junk drawer is so diabolical. It's like, if it's junk, why is it all going to the same place? Like, it's all just, like, collected junk that you probably don't need, you just don't have a place for. So you just, like, have a catch all drawer.
- [06:42]
B
Yeah, I don't feel like there's. But there's some things that just, like, don't have a family. Right? You know what I mean? Like, all of the, I don't know, the potholders go in one drawer. But then there's like, little things that don't have a family to go with, like pens or, like, you know what I mean? What would be in your junk drawer? And then I'll tell you what's in mine.
- [07:05]
A
Okay. I mean, I think, like, key cards to be able to get into the gym, might be in there. Spare keys to the cars. I'm trying to think what else would be in there. Maybe tape in it.
- [07:22]
B
Like the tape, the highlighters, the pens. Like, little. There's a. I opened one the other day and there was an SD card in there. So, like, I do get the point that it is chaotic and I can imagine in your brain it makes no sense. But for me, it's like, if I've looked everywhere else and I cannot locate it, it has to be in the junk drawer. So it's like a safety for me.
- [07:45]
A
Okay, well, I'll get back to the junk drawer in just a second. So I go up to my upstairs laundry room. Once I have purged every other space, I'm like, okay, I'm going to hit that laundry room. And I don't think there's anything really in there other than, like, Tide pods and, like, stuff that should be in there. Okay, please tell me why. When I open up the cabinets, there are towels that I specifically told her I am throwing those away and they are all stacked up in there. And I'm like, that's why the energy was bad. Off of my bedroom because those were marriage towels.
- [08:23]
B
Ah, but you know, some people will not get rid of anything ever.
- [08:30]
A
Oh, I know. Like, listen, she's the queen of saying one man's trash is another man's treasure. And I'm like, I can promise you every part of this is trash. Like, if it's trash to me, it's also going to be trash to you. It just like cracks me up. But I went through everything, Kayla, like I am telling you down to picked my socks apart to see if any of them had like any wear marks on the bottom and also purge those.
- [08:59]
B
That's diabolical. Do you? I think this brings up an interesting point. I. My grandma and my mom did the same thing. They would always come to my house and clean. We both have sons about the same age. My son Vinnie will be 9 in February and Jackson's 13. Do you foresee yourself being one of those mothers as Jackson gets older?
- [09:22]
A
Yes.
- [09:23]
B
Me too.
- [09:24]
A
I foresee myself overstaying my welcome for sure. But speaking of that little menace that I have raised in the process of going through all of my things, and let me tell you, like, Kayla, this guy, I will take pictures and like post these on the Facebook page and the Instagram page or whatever y' all follow. But I went on Amazon and bought these little elastic band things that say like, king, queen. So I could wrap all of my sheets, like in the sheet sets together. Because over time, my one closet became kind of like a catch all and the sheet set somehow got like intermixed. So let's say I had like a purple sheet set and then it was like paired with like a Brooklinen, like bottom. And then the queen and the king were all like intermixed, just all piled onto one pile. And I only have white sheets in this house. Like that's it. That's was just only white sheets and only white towels. Okay. Because a loves bleach. And I get that.
- [10:36]
B
That makes sense.
- [10:38]
A
I put all of that stuff together. So once I got both of my closets cleaned out, my downstairs laundry room, my upstairs laundry room, I make my way into Jackson's room. And I don't know like what it is with kids, but you will find some of the most random shit underneath their sink. Like, one time Will called me and told me that Jackson had a waffle maker under his sink. And I'm like, what were you doing in that bedroom? So I'm going through his bathroom, I find a large bag, like family size shareable bag of lay's potato chips. All crunched up to hell and back under the sink. Under the sink Like a million wrappers of Twizzlers. Some broken toys that I'm assuming that maybe he broke them and then just hit them.
- [11:30]
B
He didn't want you to know he was eating those Twizzlers. That's what it was.
- [11:34]
A
You know what I mean? And I only like food in a kitchen. I am deathly afraid that bugs are going to come to like the bedrooms. And I don't know why. I think, but like, I am convinced that it will cause rodents to come to a bedroom. All right, y'.
- [11:54]
B
All.
- [11:54]
A
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- [12:42]
B
Never in my entire life, but that sounds terrifying.
- [12:45]
A
Yeah. So Home Serve actually has a 24. 7 hotline where you can do scheduled repairs. And it's so simple. You just choose a plan for your needs and budget and when something on your plan goes wrong, you just call their 24.7hotline to start their repair process. They have helped homeowners like you for over 20 years with a trusted national network of 2600 local contractors. They have 4.5 million customers and a 4.8 out of 5 post repairing rate and an A BBB rating. They are the real deal. So this is your sign to help protect your home systems and your wallet with Home serve against covered repairs. Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Go to homeserve.com to find the plan that's right for you. That's homeserve.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between 4.99 to 11.99amonth. Your first year terms apply on covered repairs.
- [13:39]
B
So I have a big bone to Pick with whoever decided that, Whoever made the fitted sheet, whoever did that. I really wish I could have five minutes alone in a room with them, because what were you thinking?
- [13:53]
A
But what's the alternative?
- [13:55]
B
I don't think that there is one. Not that I have, like, I don't have a solution to this problem. I'm just tired of wrestling a fitted sheet.
- [14:05]
A
Wrestling, the way you just said that is wild work. Fitted sheets are terrible to fold. Like, I absolutely hate folding a fitted sheet. And, like, you truly need a partner to help you do it properly. Because I'm just crumpling it up. If I'm by myself, it's just getting crumpled up.
- [14:26]
B
Yep, same. It's like, I get the logistical purpose of it, but that is the most humbling experience, trying to put a fitted sheet on a bed. If you're feeling good about yourself, you're feeling confident, do not, and I repeat, do not try to put a fitted sheet on your bed, because it will all go away.
- [14:46]
A
Okay, but hotels, I don't know. There are some hotels that have fitted sheets, but a lot of hotels that I've been to, they put on, like, a top sheet on the bottom. Does that make sense? And, like, tuck it in.
- [14:58]
B
Lindsay, this just reminded me. I read this article yesterday, and it was about the laundering at hotels. Like, the laundry process. Did you know that the comforters at most hotels are not washed in between guests unless there's a visible stain?
- [15:18]
A
Wait, what?
- [15:19]
B
And I was like, okay. So I first saw the article, and I was like, there's no way. And they. The news source that put this out, and I'll find it so we can put it in the Facebook group. I went to the comments because. And a bunch of people are like, oh, yeah, I worked in a Hotel. That's 100% true. No one, like, no comforters, specifically comforters are getting washed in between guests unless there's, like, visible stains.
- [15:44]
A
And we need to band together and we're staying at hotels, make sure that we leave visible stains, and that's traumatizing.
- [15:52]
B
What do you mean? I've slept with a million other people. You know what I mean? Because, like, how long it takes to get a stain could be anywhere from two days to literally six weeks. Like this. The article left me with so many more questions and answers. Like, what constitutes a stain? And then if no stains have happened for this amount of time, is there a time limit? Like, okay, if there's six weeks and there's still no stains, well, I guess we'll give it a wash, you know, What I'm saying, like what? I don't know. It's diabolical.
- [16:24]
A
But couldn't there be, like, sex juice and, like, all kinds of on there? Like, I'm not just saying what I'm saying juice.
- [16:32]
B
But, no, it makes me want to go in there with a black light.
- [16:37]
A
Should we do that? Is like, a project.
- [16:40]
B
No, that should be, like, a second bit of ours. We just go to various hotels in our areas and hit it with a black light. You know what I mean?
- [16:48]
A
I'm going to bet you that the more expensive hotels with the better bedding are probably the dirtier hotels.
- [16:57]
B
I agree with that. I agree with that. Because I think there's always already this, like, pretentious perception, so they don't have to work so hard. Like, if you're staying at a grimy hotel, they really have to work hard to make that bed look clean.
- [17:09]
A
Yeah. Yep. Wait, did I tell you about the time that I went to Delaware? It was the last time that I went. And I think we stayed at Holiday Inn Express. And, like, I'm not trying to. On Holiday Inn Express. This one's just, like, not a great Holiday Inn Express, because, like, out by.
- [17:30]
B
Kale, that's pretty much all there is. You know what I mean?
- [17:33]
A
Yeah, pretty much. And so I go into my room, and there's, like, visibly stuff there that belongs to somebody else. And the bed looks like all. It wasn't, like, totally messed up, but you could just tell somebody had been on it.
- [17:51]
B
Oh, no. My worst nightmare.
- [17:54]
A
And I'm like, this is how people get murdered. Like, why would I have a key to somebody else's room?
- [18:00]
B
Yeah. I mean, I was watching not that long ago, you had just taken your trip to Disney. So, like, I was watching your Disney stuff, and that led me to other Disney things. And this girl goes on Disney cruises, and she has all these different devices to, like, lock herself in the room. Yeah. She has, like, a thing that she sticks in between the door and the, like, frame and the lock, and it, like, keeps it locked. And then she, like, covers the peephole with a band aid. And, like, she just had a bunch of an array of things. And I just found myself think I've never gone on a cruise or been in a hotel where I felt the need to do all of that. And I'm like, why are people doing that? Like, am I missing something?
- [18:51]
A
It's giving, like, PTSD and all of us, probably. And I'm. I. I don't want people to think that I'm, like, making Light of ptsd, whenever I say that. But truly, the fear that I had going to hotels after the Aaron Andrews saga. Do you remember that?
- [19:09]
B
No, I don't.
- [19:10]
A
What do you mean with the people situation where she was being, like, recorded and then she sued the people and, like, got all this money for it.
- [19:19]
B
Yes. Now I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [19:23]
A
The way that I was traumatized but never did anything about it. You know what I mean?
- [19:27]
B
Me too.
- [19:29]
A
We.
- [19:29]
B
I stayed in a hotel in Harlem earlier last year. And I remember thinking to myself, like, you know, this is like a really. This. The hotel. It seems really safe. Everything's fine. And then it got dark and they had, like, these bars that, like, go up in, like, all the public entryways. And it was like, at that moment where I was like, am I safe? Like, am I okay here? But, like, I never think about it beforehand. This girl, I mean, she had all. She would put a chair up, like, behind the door and things. And I just obviously that as a woman, right, we all have some level of. I don't know if the right word would be paranoia, but some sort of, you know, internalized fear, right? Because we're women existing in the world and. But this felt like overkill. And I just found myself wondering, like, I wonder what happened that made her feel that way.
- [20:24]
A
Like, you want to know the whole backstory of everything, but if you really think about it, hotels are just kind of, like, creepy, just period. Because who do we think we are going to check into a hotel? And you don't know who's staying next.
- [20:39]
B
To you or who stayed in the place that you're at before, you know? I know.
- [20:45]
A
Like, it is so wild to me. I have beef with hotels anyway because I hate the fact that you can't check into most places until like, 4pm and then you have to check out by like, 10am Me too.
- [20:58]
B
Because that makes it is. It doesn't. Because basically they're taking an entire. A whole. A whole day's, like, worth of time away from you.
- [21:07]
A
Correct.
- [21:09]
B
For extended stays, they want to charge you, like, the same amount for a whole other day. And I'm like, that. Like an extended checkout, which doesn't make any sense.
- [21:16]
A
I always request, like, early check in and late checkout, but never get it. So you know what I mean?
- [21:25]
B
What do you mean?
- [21:28]
A
I always, like, try to be so nice whenever I call the hotel to, like, make a reservation, and I'm like, yeah. And I'm just trying to request if I could possibly get an early check in and, you know, possibly a late checkout. And they're like, yeah, we'll see, you know, what we have available and we'll let you know closer to the date or whatever.
- [21:46]
B
Right?
- [21:47]
A
They never let me know.
- [21:49]
B
No. You know, and I think hotels are creepy if you really think about it, because you just have no idea who's around you. And then I have beef with hotel pools. You will not catch me in a hotel pool. That's gross. Because I just feel like pools in general freak me out, but the hotel ones just always seem to be lower par, if you know what I mean. Like, I. I don't know. Pools are diabolical if you really think about it.
- [22:16]
A
Oh my gosh. Completely unrelated. But let me tell you what happened to me this weekend. So obviously I'm like breaking my back around this house, right? And so, like, probably. I don't know, it was before we. David and I broke up, like our last breakup. He bought me this, like our is diabolical. He brought bought me this motorized, like, back thing for you to like, do massages. Do you know what I'm talking about?
- [22:46]
B
Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Okay.
- [22:48]
A
And it comes with all these, like, different attachment heads. So my back was hurting really bad, so he was like, lay down and I'll use that thing on your back. Please tell me why I have like third degree burns on my back.
- [23:03]
B
No way. Is it from the heat?
- [23:07]
A
No, I think it was from the friction because my sweatshirt was on top and then he was doing it and it didn't hurt whenever it was going on. But then when I took my shirt off and went got in the shower. When I got out, he was like, oh, my God, what happened to your back? And I mean, I literally look like a victim of some crime.
- [23:27]
B
You know, one time I fell asleep with a heating pad on my back and woke up with like, you know when your skin kind of looks like, marbly like, it, like, I woke up with that and it stayed for days.
- [23:39]
A
That's insane.
- [23:41]
B
Apparently you can get burns from those. Did not know that. Do know that now, but it was really painful.
- [23:47]
A
So wait, wait, wait. Let me tell you what else I did in my house. As if I. I didn't do enough, I had ordered a new Brooklyn bedding mattress for my room, and it's the one that has, like, the cooling gel in it.
- [24:01]
B
Oh, that's nice.
- [24:03]
A
And so I told David, I was like, we need to switch out this mattress. And so, you know, frickin frack upstairs in a Bedroom trying to switch out a king mattress. I mean, essentially, he did all of the work. When I tell you if you are a hot sleeper and you do not have, like, a cooling, I don't know if it's, like, cooling gel or what's in it, but if you do not have a cooling mattress, you're doing yourself a disservice. Because the way that I've gotten the best sleep on this bed for the past, I have questioned all of my mattress life choices before this.
- [24:37]
B
You know, it's interesting you say that, because I think I need to invest in something like that. Last night, I was going to sleep. Joel was getting ready to go to sleep, and the fan was on, like, the ceiling fan. And I have never had a concern about that ceiling fan a day in my life. Four generations of my family have lived in this house. No one's ever had an issue with the ceiling fan, ever. I. It was like, midnight last night. I looked up at that fan, and I was like, joel, you have to turn that fan off. And he was like, why? And I was like, because I just got an irrational fear that it's going to dislodge itself from my ceiling and kill me in the middle of the night. Like, it's just gonna fall off, which it's not even loose. I just want you to know it was diabolical. And then this morning, I woke up and the fan was on again, and I was like, did you turn the fan on in the middle of the night again? And he was like, yes, because I'm not going to give in to your delusion. Like, you're okay, the fan is not going to kill us, But I don't know why. I don't know if that ever happens to you, but I will just randomly get, like, really hyper focused on one thing happening to me, and I'll be anxious about it for the next two weeks.
- [25:45]
A
Oh, I am like that all the time. I will get hyper focused. But I do think that there is some correlation with ADHD and the hyper focused tendencies that I have.
- [25:57]
B
Yep.
- [25:59]
A
Girl, you not sleeping with a ceiling fan on because you think it's going to fall out of the ceiling. Please hit me and fall out of the ceiling. Because if you think that I am sleeping in a room with not moving air. All right, y', all, at the start of every new year, women are hit with the same message. New year, new you. But what if you didn't have to reinvent anything? And what if real change was already happening quietly, naturally, and from within in and that's exactly what Neutropol believes. We talk a lot about Neutrophil and if you have not heard about neutropol, Neutropol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people. Nutrafol's hair growth supplements are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinically tested to measure improvements in growth, quality and strength. I actually took my extensions out months ago and restarted my nutrif journey and have had so many, so much growth I can't wait to go and get my hair done actually tomorrow. But consistency is the key to meaningful results and Nutriful makes staying consistent so simple and setting you up for long term success. They have automated deliveries, free shipping, up to 20% savings and free 101 naturopathic doctor consults and a complimentary headspace membership is included. So this is your sign to see thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with neutral a limited time. Neutrophil is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you go to neutrophil.com and enter the promo code Southern Tea Find out why Neutropol is the best selling hair growth supplement brand@nutrafold.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code Southern T. That's neutrophil.com promo code Southern T. I'm not even kidding you. I have more fans in this house. It was truly one of the biggest arguments that I had with my interior designer. She had picked out all of this like beautiful lighting, like chandeliers for these rooms and stuff. And I'm like wait, but where's the fan? Like that. That's just not gonna work for me. I have to have moving air and so much moving air that I have a ceiling fan in every room. And I also have. We're gonna be talking about the Dysons. Did you know about like my Dyson obsession with the vacuum?
- [28:23]
B
So no, but I'm not surprised by it.
- [28:27]
A
So I've told everybody, everybody about this but I guess you're late to the game. I got into this state of life where I was purchasing all of these Dyson vacuums for whatever reason. And when my parents were during their trial, Julie came over to do their laundry at my house. And so I think that was the first time she'd actually been in to my house and she was going through like one of the closets for whatever reason and she was like do you think that you have enough vacuums? And I'm like, actually, no, because all of those are different types of vacuums for different types of surfaces. And I only use, like, one vacuum for each surface. And it's so stupid. I don't even use the Dysons anymore. Okay? It complete waste of money. Like, thousands of dollars down the drain.
- [29:21]
B
Yeah. I'm sitting here, like, tallying it up in my mind, and I'm like, that is thousands of dollars worth of Dyson.
- [29:28]
A
Oh, it for sure is. I need to truly take a picture, like, of all of the Dysons that I have. I talked about it on coffee combos and I never took a picture. Whenever I got back from Delaware, Kale was dumbfounded when she realized that I had all these Dyson vacuums. But then in that same time of life, I really got invested in buying the Dyson fans. And so those are the fans that are, like.
- [29:55]
B
They don't look like a fan. Right. They have like a. Like an arch on them and there's no. Like, you can't. No visible blade. Right? Correct.
- [30:03]
A
So, girl, I had one of these fans for every room of my old house. Well, obviously when I moved, I moved into a bigger house. So all the rooms don't have Dyson fans, but all the rooms need Dyson fans. So I am literally like a grandma, and I go on QVC and I wait to see until they have a deal and I purchase another one.
- [30:29]
B
You know what, Lindsay? The QVC thing is diabolical. You actually couldn't waterboard that information out of me. Should that have been me? But I can see you on. On there ordering all kinds of things.
- [30:41]
A
Oh, listen, I will order all kinds of. Like, one time they had, like, this scrubby daddy and scrubby mommy, like, bundle situation, and it was, like, on sale. And then I was able to use, like, a Coupon code for 10 additional dollars off. And I am stocked up on my scrubby daddy and scrubby mommies. And I will go on QVC and just browse around. I'm going to be that person. When I'm 70 years old, QVC will be on my TV.
- [31:13]
B
Can they bring back catalogs? I know they never really went away. Like, they still exist to some degree. But do you remember getting, like, catalogs in the mail and, like, you could look at, like, my grandma used to get every catalog on the face of this planet and she would. Yes.
- [31:28]
A
Yeah.
- [31:29]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [31:31]
A
Okay. Well, let me tell you. So I'm in Jackson's room, and I was gonna be pissed off, right. Like, I was gonna be really pissed. And then I got towards his bedside table, and I see that he has a book open, and it's bookmarked. And I'm like, okay, that's like a photo album. And I'm going through the pictures, and it's a photo album that I had created for him. I think it was from, like, Shutterfly or, like, something like that, where it was all the pictures from the first year of our life, like, going through divorce.
- [32:09]
B
That's so sweet.
- [32:11]
A
And his bookmark, you know, like, if you ever go to, like, a photo booth at places, they'll have those, like, long, like, things that almost looks like a bookmark. Right. And it's got all the different poses on it.
- [32:26]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [32:28]
A
And so he had bookmarked a photo from when we first got Georgia. And it was like, pictures of me, Will, in Jackson, and then Georgia. And then it was bookmarked with one of those photo things from the photo booth of me and Will and Jackson from the Atlanta Zoo right before we divorced. And so I had, like, like mediocre mental be. I would say.
- [32:58]
B
Yeah, I was gonna say that's really sweet. But also, you know, that's. That's right. Like, divorce is hard. Navigating it in a healthy way is hard. But to see him cherish those kinds of things, that means that to some, like, to the best of yalls ability, y' all are doing it the right way. Right?
- [33:15]
A
I know, but I feel like as he's getting a little bit older, I mean, he adjusted very, very well when we first divorced, but I think it's because we lived so close together and we tried to be around each other as much as possible with going through the divorce, if that makes sense. And, like, Will was welcome in my home. I went back over to where he was living and we. We tried to make it like a very normal situation. Given that I don't feel like divorce should necessarily be normalized. Yeah, he adjusted so well, and he was doing the play therapy, and Will and I were in, like, co parenting counseling together and trying to do all the things the right way. And then I have noticed that probably over the last four to six months, he's showing signs a little bit of regression. And I don't know necessarily where that's coming from. And I don't know if it's because he's getting older and. Yeah, maybe he wants his parents in the same. Like, I have no idea.
- [34:27]
B
I read an article not that long ago about boys and, like, their maturity and how that kind of like grows and ebbs as they move through life. And I did read that boys, when they're like 12 or 13, tend to have a little bit of an emotional regression. And that's because, like, instinctively they start to move away from, from like what they would call like the cradle of their mother, like their, you know, their autonomy. They're like kind of like coming into themselves and some of that can cause like dysregulation. You know what I mean? Like, he's growing up and like we of all, we all do it, we don't think about it, but there is some sort of like some grief from getting older and growing up. And especially when you're transitioning from 8, 9, 10 into 13, 14, 15. That's a huge jump.
- [35:21]
A
Yeah. I mean, it just kind of took me by surprise because he's never really shown some of these signs that he's showing now before. And I thought it would have come early on and then we would have kind of like phased out of it and then he would be good, but it's not been that situation. And the other night I just started noticing like, small little things like he'll be really quiet on our transition days. So when he goes to Will, he'll show signs of frustration on his transition day. And then when he transitions back to me, he gets really quiet and kind of wants to be by himself. And so I give him this space and I read a bunch of stuff about transition days and when kids are transitioning from one house to another, that the days should be pretty similar on all the transition days. So maybe not booking like activities and like doing something different all of those days is the best. So, like the consistency, like me bringing him home and cooking a home cooked meal and, you know, maybe us watching a movie or playing a board game or whatever to try to keep that consistent. And he has just been so quiet. And so I finally addressed it and asked him what was going on and he was like, it's just hard, you know, Like, I don't love that my parents are divorced. And when I'm with you, I miss dad, and when I'm with dad, I miss you. And it just makes it really hard. And I don't understand it and I don't understand how you guys can be friends and you're not together. And, you know, then we get deeper into the conversation and it's like, I don't necessarily really care if y' all are together, but I think it's just something that he's struggling with.
- [37:15]
B
Yeah, And I think, you know, just based on where he's at age wise, you know, the concept of divorce and how, like, children are able to digest it changes. Right. And I think the older that he gets, the more of an intimate understanding of what divorce really is kind of comes into the picture. So I think he's probably just now realizing, oh, my parent, because you guys have done a really great job. Most of his life there was. You were separated but still together. Right? And like, as a child, you just recognize that as those are my parents. There was no. But like now he's getting older and understanding that those things are, you know, something happened and there was a divorce and that was like, you know, what that actually is. And I can't imagine going back and forth, no matter how good the situation is between the parents. You know, going back and forth from different households is hard no matter how you cut that. Right. I mean, even though he has a great situation with both when he's at home with you and when he's at home with Will, it's still like I'm a creature of habit and I don't love change. Right. And so for me to have to like, pick up and, and move would be really, would have been really hard on me. So I, you know, I sympathize with him and I'm not surprised. Right. But I don't think it's a reflection of anything that you or Will are doing wrong. I just think it's. That's kind of the nature of where he's at. And I think the older he gets, the more he'll be able to digest all of this. But I think, you know, I don't, I can't speak for you, but I can speak for myself. I reacted really emotionally when I was his age. And you know, he's probably. And I know boys do things kind of different ways sometimes, and that is what it is. But, you know, his quietness just maybe him trying to re. Regulate himself in, in a different environment. Right?
- [39:08]
A
Yeah. And I mean, I think, of course, when your kid is like crying and trying to make sense of all the stuff, then you get really emotional and it causes you to, to spiral a little bit. And I'm like calling Will the next morning and it's like, do we need to put him back in play therapy or do we just try to like, manage this on our own and work together with it? And if you see something, then let me know. And if I see something, then I'll let you. I also think that there's just Like, a lot of differences within our household. And I've talked about this before, too. Will and I are very, very different parents. And so will parents from a more authoritative right thing style. And I am very much like, we are going to do all the things that we need to do, but I don't care what order that they happen in. You kind of have the free will to, you know, if you want to take a shower after dinner, you can take a shower after dinner, but you're eating dinner and taking a shower. You know what I mean? And so there's some of those differences. So maybe as he's getting older and the responsibilities of his life are changing a little bit because the course load at school is getting a little harder, he's managing a lot more classes and friendships and basketball.
- [40:30]
B
Friendships at that age can be truly diabolical. And I, you know, but I also, like, obviously can't speak for that from a boy's perspective. But, like, I did not care for middle school at all, at all. So I can imagine the pressure, the added pressure of like middle school politics, if you will. Yeah, doesn't help, you know.
- [40:56]
A
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- [42:53]
B
Yeah.
- [42:54]
A
Remember like what that felt like. But with boys it's just so interesting because I feel like with girls and Jackson has told me this before, we know someone and you know, her parents are divorced too. And he's like, I like never notice anything about her ever struggling. And I struggle all the time. And it's just so interesting to hear your 13 year old boy say that and like realize that it's interesting.
- [43:26]
B
You know, Vinnie, my son, he'll be nine in February. And I have always been a talker, you know, that I have to yap about everything. I have to process everything by talking about it. And Vinnie is very much the opposite. So he doesn't want to talk. It's like pulling teeth to try to get him to open up or talk about like feelings and things like that. And I think to some degree that, I mean in our household it's never been. There's never been a situation where he didn't have the opportunity if he wanted it. Right. It's just part of like different kids have different natures. But it's hard for me to parent because for me, you know, the solution is, okay, well let's just talk about it. But then I'm having to take a step back and be like, okay, so we're not the same person. And sometimes talking about something, I mean, you know, Lindsay, I have to talk about things right away. Like I have to hit the nail on the head. I have to get it over with. I want to go ahead and have any of the tough conversations and just get it out there. And some people need time to digest. I think, Lindsay, you and I have had that conversation where I'm like, no, I really want to have this conversation right now. And you're like, no, actually I need a minute before we. You know what I mean? And I think it's just difference in personality. But it is hard when you're parenting a child whose personality or they're like their go to's and how they Process Things are so vastly different from my, like, from your own.
- [44:46]
A
It's so weird too. Just like parenting a child, specifically through divorce, when you see some of your ex spouse, like in that child.
- [44:57]
B
Yes.
- [44:58]
A
Like, that's really hard too. And it's like, wow, like, you are just like him in that regard and nothing like me. And I am definitely the type of person. I mean, you hit the nail on the head with that. I take a while to process things, to digest them and to respond to something.
- [45:21]
B
Yes.
- [45:22]
A
Some of that's therapy, though. Like tactics that I've like, I don't even know if tactics is the right word, but maybe coping mechanisms that I've learned through therapy to not be impulsive about acting on something immediately, that everything doesn't require an immediate action. But it's almost to my detriment. Like, it's a good thing that I've learned it. But I can see it be detrimental in some of my relationships because I'm like, I paused so long on anymore did it like, is irrelevant.
- [45:58]
B
That's what always stops me because it's like, I don't. I am. I can be very confrontational in a lot of ways. And so when I'm like, okay, let me just take a beat and let me calm down. But then there's like this little part of me that's like, don't let yourself calm all the way down because then you're not going to care anymore. And the important parts of this issue are never going to be addressed because I chose to step away, because for me, I'm such an all or nothing person. So it's like we're either going to talk about it and we're going to talk about all of it, whatever issue we may have. And then it's all aired out and we're done and we can both walk away from it, or I don't want to talk to you at all. And I really am trying to relearn that because people are different. And I think I could learn a lot from people like you who are able to just like, oh, let's just take a beat. Let's talk about this when we're both calmer. Let's talk about this when we both had some sleep. You know what I mean? Those kinds of things.
- [46:53]
A
No, you don't need to be learning anything from me and my power in the pause because I am not even lying to you. That when David and I, we. And I know that you remember this probably like it was yesterday, but it wasn't that we decided that we were going to meet up and have a talk. Yeah. And then, you know, of course, that meetup, we get back together. But I sometimes pause on something for so long in my life that, like, months will pass, and for years. It's been three days.
- [47:29]
B
You will literally hold a pause for years.
- [47:34]
A
Like, but that's. That's crazy.
- [47:38]
B
Yeah. There has to be a happy medium somewhere in there. You know what I mean?
- [47:42]
A
I don't think, like, impulsive is necessarily right, and I don't think the, like, full pause in the way that I do it is necessarily right. But I am not even lying to you. If I go through a breakup or I'm going through something and I don't have Jackson, you will find me at home showered with a face mask on in my bed. And days will pass.
- [48:04]
B
Yeah. I think, you know, the. There is power in the past, but the pause can so easily become avoidance if you're not careful. And that's exactly. That's what happens to me every single time. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna take a beat. I'm gonna calm down. I'm never. I'm not gonna address it. Then I just don't. Because I'm like, I don't want to get all worked up all over again. And I'm over it. And when I say I'm over it, it's not necessarily that I'm over whatever what happened. I'm just over the emotion I already had from it. And since that came and gone, I don't want to reopen the issue again. And that does cause issues for me, because then things just don't get solved. Right. If I. And, like, it's very much like, if it's not solved my way, we're not solving it at all. And I'm really trying to work on that this year.
- [48:47]
A
I absolutely love that for you. I also need to clearly do some work because the. The level of pausing can be quite alarming. I'm not even kidding you. I will avoid something like the plague. And then somebody texts me to be like, hey, can we talk about that? And it's like, yeah, I'm also not answering that. You know what I mean?
- [49:13]
B
Yeah. Or it's either. Or, like, you'll just say, oh, yeah, I'm not. We're not. Or you'll be like, oh, yeah, I've got the time now. And then it's on.
- [49:21]
A
It's like, who. Who made me that way?
- [49:25]
B
Todd Chrisley.
- [49:27]
A
Oh, my God. That is diabolical.
- [49:31]
B
No, I just think that I Just think it's like, you know, you have to kind of figure out where the middle ground is. And for me, like, I find comfort in the immediate confrontation because I'm an anxious person. So to me, it's worse to sit with anxiety about the. Whatever issues at hand for the next 24 hours. I'd rather just. Just get it all out now.
- [49:57]
A
Yeah, see, that's a no for me, dog.
- [50:01]
B
A big no. A big hell no.
- [50:03]
A
Like, one time when I was, like, in a fake divorce, like, the first time that I was gonna file, but, like, I didn't. I, like, did all the paper. Like, I did all the paperwork, right? And then, like, I didn't. I didn't file anything.
- [50:16]
B
Right.
- [50:17]
A
Like, are we gonna, like, like, eventually talk about, like, what psychosis was going on? And it's like, no.
- [50:27]
B
You were on rentalawyer.com two days ago. What do you mean? Like, what. You had already had that figured out.
- [50:34]
A
I have my whole parenting plan that is laid out that I created myself without the help of anybody. If There was a WebMD version of a lawyer, I probably had it. Like, it is. It is crazy. But I do think that, like, there is some, like, toxic level of personalities like mine, where it's like, you're dismissive, avoidant, but you're also anxious, attached. Does that make sense?
- [51:04]
B
Yes. Which causes a lot of the I don't want to talk about it kind of thing, because that kind of satisfies both sides of that, right? I'm going to be anxious, so I'm going to avoid it and I'm going to be dismissive about it and we just move on, right?
- [51:21]
A
Yeah, but how do you get out of those personalities?
- [51:26]
B
I think you. For me, mine's the opposite, right. I'm extremely confrontational, and I just had to full stop myself, like, just absolutely not, like, literally have an internal dialogue, like, no, we're not doing this today.
- [51:44]
A
Is that I think a lot of people think that I'm a confrontational person and, like, I avoid everything like the absolute plague.
- [51:54]
B
Yes, you do. But, like, I get that because for you, I think it makes you feel dysregulated or it makes you feel. But I will say, you know, me and you've had a couple, like, one significantly hard conversation. And I don't think that you. I. You didn't shy away from that at all. You know, in fact, you were like, yeah, let's talk about it here and here.
- [52:19]
A
You know, I mean, that is true, but I think that, like, there are certain levels of those types of conversations. Right. So maybe in a romantic relationship, I'm more of an avoidant than I am in, like, a business sense.
- [52:33]
B
Agreed. I agree with that. Because I think it's easier. You know, there's a lot of. You can really take the emotion out of business conversations or conversations surrounding any of that kind of stuff. It's far harder to do that when you're romantically, you know, intertwined with somebody. Right. Because everything is emotional. Even going to the grocery store is an emotional thing. You know what I mean?
- [52:59]
A
I need to ask you this because I would love to hear your opinion on it.
- [53:02]
B
Sure.
- [53:03]
A
Do you think that going to therapy with a partner before you're married to them is a red flag, or do you think it's a green flag? Because used to. I used to think I would never go to therapy with somebody that I was not married to, because if I'm already in therapy with that person, then that's a sign.
- [53:30]
B
You know, I. It's interesting, right? I think there's, like, so many different ways you can go about this, but, like, I grew up in a very Catholic environment, so therapy prior to marriage was a very normal thing in my upbringing. Now it depends now that I'm older and out of that situation. It depends. Right. Because if you're going to therapy to be, like, prepared for the challenges that marriage brings and make sure that you guys are. You both are able to, you know, understand each other's love languages or those kinds of things, I think that that is a green flag. I think that if there's a reason, like there's trust issues and you're having to go to therapy for that prior to your marriage, you should just pack it up, babe. Because I think if, you know, I mean, dating and stuff is hard, but I think if you're already having those kind of kinds of issues with somebody prior to even getting married to them, they're only going to get worse, in my opinion. You know, I'm sure that there are success stories there, but from what I've observed, the vast, vast majority of those issues seem to get worse.
- [54:38]
A
Well, I can tell you that Will and I didn't go to therapy at all, except one therapy session at the point that, you know, I was on the WebMD version of Find a Lawyer. We went to one session. And sometimes I think, like, couples counseling and therapies are so interesting to me because I oftentimes hear when people tell me about it, that one or the other is closer to the therapist.
- [55:12]
B
Yes. Yeah.
- [55:13]
A
And so, like, that makes it, like A tricky dynamic. But I used to think it was such a red flag to be like, oh, well, you know, they're in therapy and they're just dating and there's probably plans to, like, get engaged or to get married, which is why they're probably in it together, because who else would sign up for that? But now I'm like, it's such a green flag. And I think it's probably from the life that, that I have lived and mistakes that I've made. Like, I'm a divorced person bringing a child from another marriage into a situation.
- [55:47]
B
Definitely.
- [55:50]
A
The Southern T podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. And that's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliate. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy with. Is a divorce person bringing a child into that situation? There's things that sometimes you just don't want to have certain hard conversations without a third party being there to, like, referee the feelings.
- [56:38]
B
100 and I think that's that the way that you're describing is healthy. Right? Because there are a lot of hard conversations that I think people miss prior to, like, just down to, like, parenting styles. You know what I'm saying? Like, knowing someone's parenting style before you get into a marriage with them, whether that means you're bringing children from a prior marriage or you're considering having other children, those kinds of things like that is super important because those are the things that will end a marriage. Right? Because, like, people, most people have a full stop when it comes to how their children are treated. Of course. As they should. Right. But no, I think it's. It just depends on the situation. Some of it I would call a red flag, like I said before. But things like that, like, just trying to be prepared for the challenges that marriage brings in, especially if you're blending a family. I think That's a smart decision.
- [57:34]
A
1. It's so interesting that you said that about, like, the parenting styles and stuff because. Are you okay?
- [57:42]
B
Yes. Sorry. I've sneezed.
- [57:46]
A
Like, oh my God, I do throw up.
- [57:48]
B
I literally sneezed and I tried to hold it in too.
- [57:54]
A
A big problem in my marriage was definitely the parenting style Differences, for sure. And it caused conflict a lot because when Jackson was born, he was my entire world. And, like, yes, I was married, and, yes, I was a wife, but, like, this was what I felt like God's gift and blessing to me to be able to raise this little boy. And I had a really hard time with the very authoritative part of Will because he never displayed any of that type of personality or anything like that when we were dating and then when we were married before we had him. So it was, like, a really, really hard transition for me. And then knowing that that was such conflict in our marriage with a child that we had together.
- [58:47]
B
Yeah.
- [58:48]
A
Think about being with someone that has a child with someone else, and then, like, combining that.
- [58:56]
B
Yeah. And, you know, then you're navigating not just you and your partner's parenting, but also trying to be mindful and respectful of the outside parents. Right.
- [59:07]
A
For sure.
- [59:09]
B
So I think that can become really tricky.
- [59:11]
A
I've never, like, thought of it like that. Outside parents.
- [59:16]
B
Yeah. I mean, because, like, you have to. I think those are, in my opinion, some of the most convoluted and can be complicated situations. Right. Because, like, you can usually with one other person, you can kind of at least try to sort of find a middle ground and figure out how the parenting is going to work, especially in a blended family. But then, you know, in blended families, you have outside parents, you know, and there also has to be the same level of respect for those parents as well, you know, and that's hard because there's a lot of extra stuff in there. Sometimes there's jealousy, sometimes there's resentment. And so you're kind of having to not only parent around your partner. Your partner, but also around everyone else's feelings, too. And that just becomes a huge mess.
- [59:59]
A
It becomes really hard when kids are in other homes outside of the one that you have and the time that you spend with them, and they're being parented very differently.
- [60:11]
B
Yeah.
- [60:12]
A
That parenting still comes into your house, whether you like it or you don't.
- [60:17]
B
Yep. And you have to find a way to deal with that that doesn't, you know, directly affect the children, which is really hard to do.
- [60:25]
A
Very difficult. I never realized how much that I really struggled with it until I started just having mental breakdowns. And I'm like, what is that? Like, what is this? And what is going on? And why is he displaying, like, some of these things? Like, for example, we don't have to be sneaky in this house. Like, if you just tell me whatever it is that you want or you're wanting to do, then I'm going to be a very reasonable person. I will be perfectly fine with allowing you to do most of anything within reason.
- [60:59]
B
Right? Yeah.
- [61:00]
A
Well, when you have a child that is being parented on the other end, from an authoritative parenting standpoint, it does create, like sneaky kids because they want to do the things and they don't feel comfortable going to the other parent to say, hey, I want to do this, because they know the answer is probably going to be no. I'm a very yes parent majority of the time and Will's most of the time a very no parent. And so, you know, that does end up coming into your home whether you like it or not. I look back on it now and I'm like, damn, I. If I would have known some of this stuff and that I wasn't going to get away from it, then, hell, like, maybe we should have gone to more than one therapy.
- [61:45]
B
Well, you know, and it's interesting you say that because I was thinking earlier in this episode when we were talking about Jackson hiding things under the sink and you mentioned he's hiding food under the sink, which is interesting because I know for sure, at least in your household you don't. You're not like a food restrictive household. Right. So it's interesting, you know, I wonder why he was doing that. You know, because like, there's no rules about what you can't when you can and cannot eat in your home. To my knowledge. Correct me if I'm wrong, but right, none.
- [62:18]
A
Like, you know that with Will is it. He kind of like shuts down his pantry at a certain time. To my knowledge. Obviously I'm not there, so I can't like speak too much on it. But to my knowledge, he is like, okay, after dinner and you've had a snack, like, no more stuff.
- [62:38]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [62:40]
A
For me, I'm like, I don't really care what you're getting. The only rule that I have in my house, if you feel like you need to get three snacks, then you need to ask me for like a full blown meal. Right. And I will be happy to make it for you, but we're not just going to sit around and snack all day. I don't necessarily think that that's the healthiest thing. Like, why are we eating five packs of Gushers and two packs of Oreos and like, why are we doing that?
- [63:03]
B
Maybe that's why he was hiding the.
- [63:04]
A
Twizzlers, you know what I mean? So maybe, maybe that was some of it. But I noticed those tendencies when he comes back from Will's house. Like, he will be a little bit more sneakier, and I oftentimes have to have conversations with him. Like, there is no sneaking in this house. Like, this is an open book house, and we have conversations. We don't sneak. Sneak and do things behind each other's back. Like, I don't do it to you. Don't do it to me.
- [63:33]
B
Yeah, yeah, I agree. I mean, but I think that's just natural because, again, it's the. One of the hardest things about shifting from one parent's house to another is adjusting to the nature of the household. Right. You know, and I can imagine that is tough on him, especially since you guys tend to parent very differently. You know, it's hard to kind of bounce back and forth from that. So I'm sure some of the things that happen at your house spill over, you know, at Wills and vice versa.
- [64:04]
A
Oh, very much so. I get to hear about it pretty often, truly. But I don't think it makes either of us bad parents. You know what I mean? Like, I think Will's a great dad and I'm a good mom. It's. It's just. We are just so fundamentally different, and there's really no right and wrong way. I mean, I guess there are.
- [64:23]
B
It has to do with. He's Will's son. Right. You know what I mean? And I think there's a difference between a son and a father and a mother and a son. Right?
- [64:35]
A
Correct. Yes.
- [64:36]
B
You know, there's a. You receive different things from, you know, both of your parents, and you receive them in different ways. Do I think that he would be so authority, like, authoritarian if. If y' all had had a girl? I think it would be a little bit different.
- [64:51]
A
I think I probably would have taken more of that role with a daughter.
- [64:55]
B
Yes.
- [64:56]
A
Than he would have, and he would be more like me.
- [65:00]
B
Yeah. So I don't think it's inherently good or bad. You know, it just is kind of the nature of how those things play out.
- [65:07]
A
Wait. Completely unrelated news. What is this situation in the true crime world that you were telling me about that's going on in Pennsylvania?
- [65:16]
B
This is absolutely diabolical. And I've been waiting until we recorded today to tell you this, because to me, I'm at a complete and total loss. So there's this man in Pennsylvania, and he's facing, like, 500 criminal charges after an investigation showed that he. He had robbed over 100 graves. Okay. And. Yeah. Stole the bodies. Okay. Various corpses at Various, like, different times. Okay. And brought them home to his house and to a storage unit. And there's. Yes, there's body cam footage of these police officers searching his home. And his home looks like a mausoleum. It's absolutely insane. Literally the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. And he was trying to sell some of these collected body parts on Facebook Marketplace, which is just wild. Like, how did we get there? You know what I mean? Like, where did that come from?
- [66:28]
A
I mean, crazy stuff on Facebook Marketplace. Truly.
- [66:33]
B
Yeah. But, like, lots to unpack on this specific one. Right. Apparently, there are people whose loved ones are missing now, and they went to visit their graves. Their graves had since been robbed. He robbed 26 mausoleums, and that was, like, in early November. So what is this man doing? You know what I mean?
- [66:58]
A
How did he get into the mausoleums to be able to do this robbery?
- [67:02]
B
I have no idea. It just said. The article I read just said that they were forced open, but it said that they searched his home in his storage unit, and they found more than a hundred human skulls, long bones, mummified hands, feet, and two, like, actively decomposing torsos. And it's like, what were you doing, brother? You know what I mean?
- [67:28]
A
Not for nothing, we will post a picture of this guy, but I really don't think he looks, like, too outlandish.
- [67:37]
B
He doesn't. He looks. And that's the scariest part for me in all of these things, these men and women who commit these absolutely heinous, diabolical crimes always look. Not always, but a lot of them look like someone. If I passed this man on the street, I probably wouldn't think anything of it.
- [67:59]
A
Me either.
- [68:00]
B
But then I start to think to myself, what does someone who robs a hundred graves and brings all the bodies home look like?
- [68:06]
A
Well, we know what he looks like, and it's just not what I would have pictured in my mind.
- [68:14]
B
Yeah, he's like a smaller statue kind of guy. You know, he has a little septum piercing, but, like, nothing that screams grave robber to me. But also, like, what would. What does that look like? Right. But I guess, I mean, ish. Huh.
- [68:32]
A
Is that, like, a fetish? Like, how would that be classified?
- [68:35]
B
Like, I don't know. He stole, like, jewelry that was on some of the bodies. But law enforcement said that they did not believe that these robberies or, like, these, like, grave robberies were, like, for the sole purpose of. Because he didn't sell the jewelry. Like, he didn't, like, try to pawn it or Anything like that. So it's like. I think it. Maybe it is just like a weird fetish thing. I just don't know. But, like, I don't know. I know, like, not to be morbid, but, like, he also found, when they arrested him, he had a burlap bag. And inside that burlap bag were the mummified remains of two small children.
- [69:18]
A
Oh, my God.
- [69:20]
B
So it was like. I don't know if this was what? I don't know. How does something like this begin? Like, at one. At what point did you be like, yeah, I think I'm gonna go. Because there's always a bigger story to these kinds of things. And, like, something had to have happened to him. I'm always interested in the why. Like, why are you doing this? What started this for you?
- [69:43]
A
I mean, I don't just think that you wake up, like, one afternoon or one morning and you're like, oh, today is the day that I think I'm going to start robbing graves. Like, yeah, where did that thought come into his mind? And I truly need to discuss this with Kale because that he's in the Delaware County Prison and, like, I want him interviewed.
- [70:08]
B
Also, it says that the police chief made the only statement that had been made about this entire thing, and this is his quote. Given the enormity of what we are looking at and the sheer utter lack of any reasonable explanation, it's difficult to say why at this juncture exactly what took place. Etc. We're trying to figure it out. That's basically all they've said.
- [70:30]
A
That's just. That's so insane. Like you said, that's going to be a true Twitter crime documentary for sure.
- [70:37]
B
100%. Because it's just one of those, like, not to say, like, a once in a lifetime case, but, like, obviously this is not normal and there has to be a way bigger. Because my mind first went to, oh, this is like black market type of thing. You know what I mean? It's not. I mean, like, what could he possibly be looking for?
- [70:59]
A
That's just freaking insane. Like, I don't even know what to say. But I'm going to be following the news and if you see anything that pops up or any explanations as to why he would feel like he should be stealing over a hundred corpses, that would be lovely for me to know because this will keep me up at night.
- [71:19]
B
Yeah, it's. It's like, it's. I'm not laughing because it's funny. It's in no way funny. It's just Absolutely insane. One of those things that you couldn't dream up even if you wanted to.
- [71:30]
A
Wait, can we talk for a second about the freaking Verizon outage from last week?
- [71:35]
B
Yes. I was just trying to mind my business on a random day. It was Thursday of last week. I live in the middle of Appalachia in the middle of nowhere. So me not having service at my house is not really a huge surprise. I go to town and I'm about to pay for my Chick Fil A. This is a really humbling moment for me. I use Apple Pay and I look down at my phone. It says S.O.S. i said, Girl, please excuse me for a moment. Could not. I'm trying. I'm sitting there resetting my phone. I'm checking my bill because I'm like, did I not pay my bill? That's crazy. I never like, you know what I mean? That's so out of character for me. And I'm like, nope, the bill's paid. Don't know what's going on. So I get on Chick fil A, Wi Fi, and FaceTime my mother. And I'm like, what? What's going on? And she was like, oh, it's out. And it was out all day.
- [72:25]
A
What was so crazy is I had gotten a text from Kristen and she was like, hey, my phone's in SOS And I like, can't call out or call in. And this was right before she went into her next surgery. So I think that she was actually waiting for the hospital to call to let her know, like her surgery report time. Yeah, she was. Was freaking out. I went on Google and just typed in like Verizon outage and there was like tons of stuff on X. I guess I don't even have Twitter anymore. Well, I mean, I'm sure.
- [73:00]
B
But I do go there for like things like that, which is. Otherwise I stay away from it. But I do go there for things like that.
- [73:07]
A
Yeah. So it was like all over that. Well, then David and I were at home about to grill some steak and lobster, and I get a notification because I have T Mobile and I get a notification and it's like, we do not have any service disruptions, but I guess third party carriers or something that use Verizon towers were also having issues. So I know that David has like Xfinity and I think Will does too. Yeah, David experienced service issues.
- [73:42]
B
I. What bothers me is this. I get it that there was some sort of an outage. It is what it is, but caused from. That's what I'M getting at is what irritates me is there has been no explanation as to what happened. And then I get a text message from Verizon the next day, and they're like, here's $20 to apply towards your next bill. And I appreciate the $20. Don't get me wrong is what it is. But what bothers me is, why did this happen? How did this happen? Then I sit down last night and I'm watching the news, and they're talking about a lot of huge, like, big cell carriers they did not mention who were hacked by the Chinese government over the past. Like, maybe. No, the Chinese. Not the Chinese government. Excuse me. But still. So I'm like, something happened, obviously, and I would just like to know what that was and why they're not saying anything. You know what I mean?
- [74:41]
A
I also feel like as consumers, like, I'm not a consumer of Verizon.
- [74:47]
B
Yeah.
- [74:48]
A
But I just feel like a society basically shut down from communication and, like, people out here not being able to use, like, their Apple pay. And yeah, there is a deserved explanation, in my opinion, about stuff like that. Like, why are we just skating by, like, oops, our phones were all in SOS for 24 hours and then now we know nothing.
- [75:12]
B
Yeah, I think it's like, you know, we deserve some kind of an answer just because, you know, for me, okay, I couldn't get my Chick Fil A whatever, but I could imagine that there were people who were put in a lot worse situations because of this. And it's like, just some sort of transparency would be great. Right?
- [75:33]
A
It's so crazy the amount of people that use, like, Apple pays and I guess whatever they use, like, their cards loaded on their phone, like, their wallet.
- [75:44]
B
That's what I use, girl.
- [75:46]
A
I don't have one single card loaded on my phone.
- [75:49]
B
Well, you know, I can't keep a debit card. I'll lose it. I'll break it. I have. I literally didn't. I functioned without a debit card for, like, eight months at one point.
- [75:59]
A
Wait, on your phone?
- [76:01]
B
Yeah, I just use Apple Pay and like.
- [76:05]
A
Like, what's that? Like, strolling around with a phone and no wallet.
- [76:10]
B
Well, I don't carry. You know, we've had this conversation, but I've never talked about it on here. I am probably the most violently type B person you will ever run into. I don't carry a purse. Never have. I don't carry a wallet. I don't even own a wallet. Literally don't even own them. All my cards are in the center console of my car, if I haven't lost them. Like this morning I pulled my license out of the dryer. Terrible.
- [76:35]
A
Yeah, I am aware. Oh my God. Speaking of pulling stuff out of dryers, I need to know anybody else who's listening to this, who have children who steal their cords. Because when I tell you a charger cannot survive in this house and I don't know where they go missing too, I.
- [76:59]
B
You know, it's so funny you say that. My mom and I, I'll be 30 this year. But my mom and I used to have the biggest knockdown, drag out arguments about chargers when I was a kid, like a teenager. Because I would just take her and never give it back. Which is horrible. Right? I owe her a lifetime worth of chargers for that. But they just would just disappear. Vinnie doesn't do that. But Vinnie will bend a charger to where it breaks. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're not supposed to like bend it right where it goes into your phone. And he's sitting there with it bent. And I'm like, come on, man.
- [77:31]
A
Well, please tell me why. When I was folding clothes over the weekend, I go to take stuff out of the dryer and there's a charging cord that's in there. And I'm like, that's weird. And you know, David's a pretty smart person and I don't know why I didn't think of it, but I just like wrapped the charger up because I'm like, oh, it was just in the dryer, like, whatever. He's like, no, if it was in the dryer, that means it was in the washer. Like it needs to be thrown away.
- [78:00]
B
Yeah, I didn't think about that right away either, but that's typical. But I don't know. And also the chargers these days are not cheap, babe.
- [78:08]
A
You know, we'll be up at the 5 below, like restocking chargers. Like it is my part time job.
- [78:15]
B
And do those work well? I have seen them, but I've never bought one.
- [78:20]
A
Yeah, they do work really well. Like I've had a five below charger that's lasted me for like a year.
- [78:25]
B
Five Below is my favorite place to be.
- [78:28]
A
Oh, well, I will say this. I have had a charger that sometimes is not in my possession that I know was bought like a year ago that still charges stuff. And so on Sunday when I went looking by my bed because I keep my USB C charger plugged in by my bed. And that's like my laptop, my Kindle, and then I have the old iPhone charger because I don't have a new iPhone also plugged in. And I got the. The little core where. Or the plug in where you can have like two chargers plugged into one outlet.
- [79:06]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [79:07]
A
Please tell me why that entire thing is just gone. So I'm roaming through this house looking for Jackson and I literally threatened him. I said, listen to me, I need to charge my phone and I need to charge my laptop. And now I don't have the cords that were plugged in by my bed. Do not come in my room because you cannot be trusted. You are a thief. And also, I am going to go to five below and I'm going to buy all new chargers and I'm going to plug them into the places that I know that you frequently are. Do not remove that charger from that part of the wall, because I promise you, if I see you walking around this house with a charger around your neck, then I'm going to throw whatever device is planned to be plugged into that away along with the charger.
- [80:02]
B
Yep. I've seen people literally put padlocks on, like over a charger, like with zip ties. And I just think that that's so funny and so real, girl.
- [80:15]
A
That, like when we used to film for Chrisley Knows Best, everybody's phone would always be dead. And my dad always had like the little. My charge, like charging blocks.
- [80:26]
B
Yeah.
- [80:27]
A
And he would like kindly let us borrow them, but then people wouldn't return them to him. So he went and had this stuff engraved on his chargers that said Property of Todd Chrisley on there. So that he knew who was like.
- [80:43]
B
Stealing his Property of Todd Chrisley on a charger is so funny to me.
- [80:49]
A
I never understood it, like, back then, I mean, we're talking like circa 2014, 15, 16. Okay. Back then I feel like I didn't really care that much. It's like, I'm gonna use whatever. Like, I was Jackson.
- [81:07]
B
Yeah.
- [81:08]
A
And so I'm like, why would someone waste all of their time and like, go and have something engraved like on these chargers? Like, this is. Is so extreme and crazy.
- [81:19]
B
Wait.
- [81:22]
A
Yeah, it was like I thought we.
- [81:24]
B
Were just, you know, writing on it with a Sharpie. I should have.
- [81:29]
A
No, these were engraved on the charging blocks. And I'm like, okay, that is so extreme. And I don't know what type of sane person would do something like that. And now that I have a 13 year old that steals my stuff all the time, I'm like, that actually was not insane. That was brilliant. That's.
- [81:50]
B
Yeah, he was on to something there.
- [81:53]
A
You know what I mean?
- [81:54]
B
Absolutely.
- [81:56]
A
Well, guess what? I have to go outside and wheel as many trash cans down to the road that I possibly can because I'm trying to get rid of all these trash bags and not have to do a drive by at the the dump.
- [82:09]
B
Love that.
- [82:10]
A
And then I've got to figure out what I'm going to have for dinner because I've been crying all day and haven't had one single bite of anything to eat. But thank you so much for joining me this week. If you guys have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app. Wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast one. We hope that you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.
- [82:38]
B
This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra. Free.
- [82:42]
A
This is the time to. With movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 50 first dates.
- [82:48]
B
This is awesome.
- [82:50]
A
And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free. Huzzah. Pluto TV stream now pay. Never.
- [83:02]
B
You're welcome.
- [83:04]
A
Hi, I'm Stassi Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates from my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives, give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines, and sometimes deep dive into random topics. I'm obsessed with, like, human design. It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it. And you will too. Listen to my podcast, Stassi. Wherever you get your podcasts.