← The Southern Tea
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- [00:00]
A
If you're a podcast host, listen up. This one's for you. My name is Ali Jackson. I'm the host of Finding Mr. Height, a dating and relationship podcast that I've been doing for four years now, sharing my positive and practical approach to dating that's built on my own life experience. And I wanted to share another experience that I've had, my secret behind monetizing my show. It's called Red Circle. And I was just telling my colleague about how much I love their platform. With Red Circle, not only am I getting a seamless hosting experience, but I also love the support I receive in ad sales. It's not just typical ad sales either. It's targeted opportunities based on my show and my life. And the platform is super simple. You just set your preferences and Red Circle matches you with sponsors that align with your show. You can vet every opportunity and their platform gives you great analytics. More recently, too, my Red Circle team has brought me opportunities outside of my podcast on social media to really augment the podcast partnerships. Bring them full circle. I just can't recommend them enough. If you want to give it a try, go to redcircle.com to get your free trial. That's redcircle.com for a free trial.
- [00:59]
B
Maybe I'm just like, weird. Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the Southern Tea with Lindsey Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. I don't love them. A Southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying.
- [01:16]
C
True to her roots.
- [01:17]
B
I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now. Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea.
- [01:25]
C
And nothing but the tea. That is the tea.
- [01:28]
B
Here's Lindsay. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. Good morning, Kristen. How are you?
- [01:39]
C
Good morning, Lindsay. I am thankful to be home recording this from my bed.
- [01:45]
B
Listen, I am very thankful for my house and for peace here. And I can just tell you that I have never been more reclusive than I currently am at this given moment.
- [02:00]
C
You know, but I think it's healthy for you. You're not doing it in a negative coping mechanism way. You're doing it in, like a healing way. And I can appreciate that for you.
- [02:11]
B
It'S like a protection of peace, right? Like, I feel like a lot of things in life, if you're not careful, can rob any sense of peace that you have. And I have just found taking a bath or getting in my hot tub and reading my Kindle and doing stuff around the house is peaceful for me, and I'm just gonna stay in that for as long as I possibly can.
- [02:35]
C
I love that. Can we take a second to talk about your newfound reading journey?
- [02:40]
B
Yes, we can. So right now I'm on an Abby Jimenez kick. I read all three parts of the part of your World Series, and then right now I'm a little over 50% done with say you'll remember me.
- [02:56]
C
Okay.
- [02:57]
B
It's so good. But what I will say if you read. Say you'll remember me. The amount of tears that, like, I have cried because of that book. And it's like I act like I know these people in real life and they're not just characters in a novel.
- [03:17]
C
I feel like I've heard and I haven't read any of Abby's books, but I have some. I have heard that Abby does a really good job of character development to the point where it, like, makes you feel so connected.
- [03:28]
B
Yeah. Like, I feel like these are people that I know or are like extended family members. And for those of you who have not read this book or you're planning on starting it, the mentions of dementia from a mom who is in her 50s, was, like a highly successful CEO of a company, and the daughter, like, moving back home after going on an amazing date with a dream guy and trying to do a long distance situation, but not really trying to give in to the long distance. Like, I cannot even imagine the people that have struggled with a loved one that they have to take care of, that they remember all of, or they're creating memories with this person, but the person that they're creating memories with is not really creating memories with them. Does that make sense?
- [04:31]
C
The way I'm literally about to cry from you explaining that. Not to get super sappy and emotional, but that's literally like, one of my biggest fears with my Ms. Is that my brain's gonna go and, like, that's what my mom and Corey are gonna be doing. So that's. I feel like that book would wreck me.
- [04:50]
B
It's just so heartbreaking. And it's so real too. Right? Like, as far as the character development, it is so true about her books. Like, you really develop, like, a relationship with. With these characters and it just makes you so sad. And you cannot put the book down. I wish that I just had the time where I could sit and read a book from, like, start to finish and one day. It's just not realistic for me, but it's just. It's so good. You have to read it. Yes, you're going to cry. Yes, you're going to feel all the emotions. But I also have found that it's pretty healthy and feels very healing to me.
- [05:34]
C
Okay. Okay. Well, then I'm definitely gonna have to. I think. I'm pretty sure I have that one on my bookshelf. I just haven't read it yet.
- [05:39]
B
So I also wanted to talk to you about my little church journey.
- [05:44]
C
Oh, yeah, give us an update.
- [05:47]
B
Jackson is having such a good time in the kids program at the church, and I just want to encourage people who are listening to this if you're anything like me and just a creature of habit and you're afraid to, like, make changes. And anyway, so Jackson went to another church preschool, which Will and I were members of that church. And so basically our whole, like, married life, once we had, Jackson was around this church. And I just kind of. I don't want to say outgrew it. I think I was just looking for something different and looking for a kids program that was very different. And I took the leap of faith, started this new church and absolutely love it. Jackson wants to go every single week. And there is nothing that makes me more proud as a mom for my son to look forward to going to church.
- [06:52]
C
I honestly love that for you, and I feel like I've noticed, like, a big difference in you overall since you found a church that it seems like you align with really well.
- [07:00]
B
It's just a community of people. I know that we talked about all of the differences of the different types of people that attend this church. Like, some people are dressed to the nines, and some people are, like, super casual. There's kids there that are showing up in, like, Lululemon shorts and sweatshirts, and it's. It would not have been appropriate for that type of attire at our old church. And I just. I personally feel like it's so welcoming that, like, anyone and anything is welcome. And I love that.
- [07:40]
C
No, I love that. And people's responses were kind of how I. How you and I talked about it when we discussed the whole attire in church thing. And some people are like, we dress up. And other people are like, it's not about what you wear. And I couldn't agree more.
- [07:54]
B
I mean, I like to somewhat dress the part, but at the same time, like, I'm not wearing heels to church. And at my old church, it felt very much like a fashion. Fashion show. And that's not to, like, knock it, because, you know, different strokes for different folks. Right. But it just feels so much more inviting and just like a very casual way to be able to be comfortable and to worship. And the way that I feel so at home there.
- [08:34]
C
I see. I think that's really important. Coming from somebody who has never felt comfortable in church. I could see why that would be really important.
- [08:42]
B
And outside of that, Jackson and I have kind of created a new routine on Sundays where we go to bed decently early on Saturday night and wake up, put ourselves together, go to Dunkin Donuts, which did not happen this week because the line was literally all the way out to the highway. So I was like, okay, we've got to do something else. So we went to McDonald's and got hotcakes, like, whatever. And then we go to the trampoline park. And I just need to know the parents who are listening to this if you have memberships for your kids at a trampoline park. I've told every single person who will freaking listen to me about purchase. I should be doing marketing for this.
- [09:28]
C
You really should, because I have told.
- [09:31]
B
Every single person about it and, like, why they should have a membership. So it's $30 to jump one time, or if you have a membership, it's $35 a month, and it's unlimited jump. And you also get a snack with that.
- [09:48]
C
Oh, that's so worth it.
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B
So I'm like, yes, you are paying every single month the $35. But because it's so close to my house and Will's house, like, Will's already taken him there on the membership when I didn't have him. I take him there on Wednesdays after school, and then we also go on Sunday. So it's like, I'm just out here being a saver.
- [10:13]
C
No, I think that's awesome, especially if it's something that your kids are gonna use. Like, you use it. I think in other circumstances, like, if someone can't afford the monthly bill, I completely understand why they would only do the single. But if you can, it's definitely a savings.
- [10:27]
B
I just love it so much because I'm trying my hardest to get Jackson using technology in such a minimal way. Like, we got rid of the phone, and he doesn't have the tablet, and he only has the computer for assignments. I do let him play Roblox with his friends one day a week, but it's nice to be able to have an activity specifically now that it's getting cooler outside. By the time he gets home, he doesn't get off the bus until almost 5 o', clock, so it's already starting to, like, cool off and it's chillier outside. So it's an activity that he can go and do. And we stay sometimes two hours, two and a half hours, and then it's time for dinner, shower, and we don't have a whole lot of time for technology. So it's. Lots of changes are going on in our house.
- [11:22]
C
I love it. It sounds like they're all positive. So I love that for you and for Jackson.
- [11:26]
B
Speaking of changes as well, I just wanted to address that I am no longer in a relationship. And I know you and I talked about this and I was, you know, going back and forth and like, hesitant to want to talk about it because people have so many opinions about everything. And that's to be expected when your life is, you know, on the Internet and you share things. You can't get upset when people start asking questions or speculating things. I did not make this decision lightly. I am just in a place that I truly have learned the value of needing to focus on myself in this season of life. And I don't necessarily feel like I gave myself that space to be able to do that. When I divorced, I gave myself eight months before I ever went on my first date. But when you're talking about getting out of a relationship that was over a decade long and a marriage that was a decade long, and you're trying to navigate the co parenting with that person and trying to navigate being a single person and doing all of these things on your own. I look back on it now and I'm like, I was in no way, shape or form, prepared or had anything to really necessarily provide a relationship outside of what I was navigating personally.
- [13:09]
C
All right, Lindsay, I have to give you a cleaning update in my house. I know that you had me switch to branch basics a little bit of time ago, and let me tell you, everyone is obsessed. And I feel like this is the perfect time because holiday season is here. You can give everybody the gift that truly matters, which is health. Lindsay and I know this, but we're sharing this information with all of you. Did you know that most conventional cleaning products are filled with harmful chemicals that can negatively impact your family's health? We're talking from toxic fragrances to harsh disinfectants, these products can irritate skin, skin, disrupt hormones, and even pollute the air inside of your home without you realizing it. Plus, pollutants from these harmful cleaning products linger, potentially leading to respiratory issues, headaches, and even long term health risks. And that is so scary.
- [13:53]
B
I love Branch Basics so much. It has been in my home for multiple years at this point and it is what I use to clean everything. I started with the Branch basic starter kit which is a powerful plant and mineral based solution designed to clean every room in your home from top to bottom without har full chemicals. With just one concentrate, you can use it for everything so kitchen counters, bathroom tile, laundry, even washing your produce and makeup brushes. I love this so much because Jackson has started cleaning a little bit in his room and his bathroom and it just makes me feel so much safer knowing that this is a better option.
- [14:31]
C
You and your family's health is worth protecting and this is one of the simplest, most powerful swaps that you truly can make.
- [14:36]
B
So this is y' all signed to get yourself and your loved ones the best gift of all. The gift of clean with Branch Basics For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and free shipping on their premium starter pack. When you use code Southern tea@branch basics.com forward/outher tea, that's 15% off your order at branch basics.com forward/southerntea with promo code Southern Tea. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you get Branch Basics this holiday season because cleanliness matters.
- [15:07]
C
Well, I think it's a really good observation. I also think too that my guess obviously never been through a divorce, but my guess is that when you come from a marriage and a child for the length that you were married to Will, and I know your position on it was just basically that you failed, right? You were so hard on yourself, you failed, it failed. And you were desperately trying to one escape the loneliness because obviously after being married for such a long time, like I would not know what to do with myself if Corey and I split up today and he was like, not here anymore. I would not know what to do. And I think it's instinctual to try to like fill the void, right? Like fill the void. And then especially when it came to you, the guilt that you felt like with your marriage ending, basically trying to right the wrong. It makes sense to me why your dating pattern has been your dating pattern.
- [16:07]
B
I just think that, not that I was trying to necessarily replace anything, but in some senses I think that I struggled so much through the divorce process and then after that, like my whole world that I had known since an adult was being with him and having this family life and having a partner. And so I do think that I somewhat tried to rush that situation to try to find something else that could somewhat Replace that void that I was. I was feeling. Yeah.
- [16:43]
C
And I think a lot of people do that. And I'm not shaming anybody for how they try to deal with their emotions and their inner feelings and things. And I think it's very common to try to fill voids because loneliness is, like, one of the hardest things to try to sit through.
- [17:00]
B
It's so hard. But I have learned over the last little bit of just being off of social media, I have returned at this point to some degree, but not to a full capacity that. That I once was. I have learned to sit with myself and find ways to feel comfortable in the uncomfortable.
- [17:24]
C
Mm. And that is growth. Because usually people run the opposite way of uncomfortable. And I'm. I mean, even myself, like, I put myself in positions all the time simply because I don't want to be uncomfortable.
- [17:37]
B
And I will say, like, when I first started doing that, I found myself trying to, like, find things to fill my time so that I didn't have to feel lonely. So it's like, okay, well, I will go and get my nails done, or I'll book an extra Pilates class, or I'll go and get a massage, because I can. And just being out of a relationship has made me realize the amount of time that I actually do have to be able to focus on growth and myself. Things that I feel like I have very much neglected over the last few years. And I now want to kick myself looking back on it, because it's like, wow, you could be so much further ahead if you would have just leaned into the uncomfortable.
- [18:33]
C
I feel like that's also normal, right? Like, hindsight is 20 20. I. I say that about things all the time. But I also think that, like, we. You wouldn't appreciate it, right? Like, you wouldn't appreciate it the same. You wouldn't appreciate the lessons that you've learned the same. You wouldn't move differently if you didn't go through what led you to this, like, revelation. And that's the way that I try to think about things in life. Like, everything is a lesson. What am I learning out of this? And sometimes I don't find out right away. And sometimes it is pretty instantaneous. And sometimes it takes a really long time. And it's. For me, the ones that take a really long time are the ones that I tend to, like, hyper fixate on. And I get really upset and really pissed off and I'm like, oh, it feels like such wasted time. I could have done this. I could have done that. My dad used to call him like, shoulda, coulda, woulda, and you just can't. You can't live like that. It's very normal to feel that way, but I know it's, like, easy to get stuck in. But I think that what you said about, yes, I do have the time is such a big thing, because we are all guilty of saying, we don't have time. We don't have time. We don't have time. We don't have time. When you do have the luxury of time and it's just being consumed by the wrong things, I feel like it's such a weight lifted off when you realize, like, how much time you do have.
- [19:56]
B
I just felt like I was trying to do so much with so little. And, I mean, I don't regret the relationships because I've taken a lot from each of those that were probably lessons and things that I. I needed to learn, but also I learned a lot about what I don't want and what I do. And I think that everything happens for a reason. Right. Like, I can't place the blame on the other people. Like, yes. Was there situations that shouldn't have transpired and, you know, maybe I wouldn't be where I'm at in specific relationships. Yes, absolutely. The regret that I have, and I can't even say it's a full regret because, you know, Jackson developed relationships with people that I dated and their children. And that does make me sad because it's like, well, once the relationship's over, so is the relationship. The secondary relationships, right? So where he used to look forward to playing with some of their children, like, that no longer happens. But it's so weird because once I really started, like, leaning into this mindset, Jackson and I had gone to church, and on our way to the jump park, we had gotten in a little bit of church traffic. We passed, like, three churches on the way to the trampoline park. And he was like, hey, mom, like, have you ever, like, ran into any of your exes before? And I said, I mean, not really that I can think of. Like, I mean, maybe I have, but nothing that I could remember.
- [21:57]
C
Yeah.
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B
And he was like, don't you just think that that's so weird how people date or, like, marry each other and then they just, like, never run into each other again? And I said, yeah, like, it's weird, right? Like, especially when you live, like, in the same area. That's.
- [22:19]
C
I have an ex that I have never physically. I've never run into myself, but Corey has run into him, like, at least twice. A month.
- [22:26]
B
That's just so crazy to me. So we pull into the trampoline park, and this was the first time that we had ever gone there. It was, like, after their grand opening, and I was doing all the paperwork and stuff, like the waivers and stuff that you have to fill out. And so I was at the computer and talking to the lady about, you know, like, what package did I want to purchase for each month and blah, blah, blah. And Jackson runs over to me, and he was like, mom, such and such is here. And I was like, wait, what? And I really thought he was kind of setting me up, because the conversation that we had just had in the car, sitting in traffic, and then we walk in and he runs off and comes running back and telling me this. I'm like, there is no freaking way.
- [23:20]
C
Yeah. Like, spoke it into existence.
- [23:24]
B
So I go to the bathroom and come back out, turn the corner, and.
- [23:29]
C
Sure enough, he was not joking.
- [23:32]
B
He was not joking. And it's just so crazy to, like, think that you have ever been with somebody in the capacity that I was with this person, and then to just be able to, like, casually have a conversation in the way that we did and, like, no animosity. Jackson played with one of his children the entire time that we were there.
- [24:02]
C
Oh.
- [24:03]
B
And it's just like, wow. Even if the relationship didn't work out, like, it's not a toxic situation to where if we ran into each other, I always was, like, curious if we ever ran into them. Like, would Jackson feel uncomfortable or would he, like, not want to play with the kids or whatever? And it wasn't like that at all. And I was just so thankful for that. And I'm like, wow, okay, so that. That's also on growth.
- [24:34]
C
No, I'm. That makes me so happy. Especially when, you know, things might have ended and you, like, didn't want them to end, and then you can, like, still connect and things be fine. I think that that's awesome.
- [24:46]
B
So I am not in a relationship. And I know that I've said before, like, I'm going to take time for myself, and I'm going to take time for Jackson. And then, like, I randomly meet somebody, that's not going to be this situation at all, because I know the need that I have for myself and just the freedom that I have felt being by myself with Jackson. And we can kind of come and go as we please. We don't have to try to communicate with someone else about, like, what they want to do. And, you know, if we can come to a Mutual decision on what we're going to do. Because one kid wants to do this and another kid wants to do that. Like, there is such peace in that. And Jackson and I had our first true sleep in on Saturday morning this week, and we have not done that in forever. I know that I was talking to you maybe Saturday at some point or maybe it was Friday night, and I was like, I can't wait to. To do a sleep in.
- [25:54]
C
I think it was literally, it was either Thursday or Friday. I can't remember if it was like when I got home from the hospital or it was the day after. And you said that and I was like, wait, you haven't done that in such a long time. That was like a staple routine for you.
- [26:07]
B
Yeah. And it just. I feel like it's so hard dating outside of divorce and I feel like people don't really talk about it enough that it's no longer just you. Right. Like you're not just thinking about yourself. And. And I do somewhat regret, like I was saying, introducing Jackson to people and people being in his lives that are no longer going to be relationships, but at the same time, it wasn't all bad.
- [26:39]
C
I think that's the case in majority of relationships. I think there are ones where it's like completely all bad. But I think majority of relationships, when you leave them, if you leave in a bad way, if things end badly, I think it's very easy to say, like, it was all bad. It's like a defense mechanism. But when you really step back and think about it, usually there's some good.
- [26:59]
B
Yeah. I mean, I think in the moments of the downfall. Right. Like, or what I like to call the failure in those moments, it's hard to see the good. It's like once you're out of it and you've given yourself enough time, you're like, okay, so like those, those things were good. And just because this one thing was bad doesn't mean that it always bad. And it's kind of like a reshaping of your mind. And I just want to be mindful that, you know, I have been in three relationships post divorce and not spent a whole lot of time focusing on the things that I needed to focus on. And that does feel somewhat of a failure. And the things that I'm personally navigating through and in regards to family stuff and things that I probably should have gotten help for a long time ago, now that I'm actually doing that and healing that part of myself, it did not feel authentic to stay in a relationship that I felt like I had nothing to provide.
- [28:12]
C
You know, I think that the, the want to find family for you, like a family, your family to feel like a family is, is strong. And I think that that's something that is definitely for therapy. Like, I, like, I definitely am a huge advocate for therapy and you know that. But I just think that that was probably a great push. I think that, like, there are so many unhealed wounds from so many different places for you. And it's taken you to this point to realize that, like, you can't fill the void. You have to like close the void.
- [28:51]
B
Kristen, I want to talk to you about what I had for breakfast this morning. And it is not something that typically I would eat, but I discovered Magic Spoon and it is so good. If you have not heard of Magic Spoon, they make high protein, zero sugar cereal and treats reinvented from your childhood. And it is just so, so nostalgic. Every serving of Magic Spoon is high protein cereal that has 13 grams of protein, 0 grams of sugar and 4 grams of net carbs. And they come in all of the nostalgic flavors like fruity cocoa and frosted. And I loved it so much.
- [29:30]
C
No, I literally have all three flavors on my counter right now because Corey mixes them together every morning. He's absolutely obsessed. He does a little combination for me. The cocoa hits. They also have amazing treats that are crispy, crunchy, airy and a very easy way to get 12 grams of protein on the go. They come in mouthwatering flavors like marshmallow chocolate, peanut butter and dark chocolate. I am definitely on a marshmallow kick and these have come super handy for me because I can take them wherever I need them to go. I've kind of been on the go the last few weeks and I'm getting ready to go away. So I'm going to pack some of these.
- [30:05]
B
Their treats are really good and just great on the go pre or post workout or as a midnight snack. And I will say I also had one of these as a midnight snack last night. If you guys want to get $5 off your next order, you can do that@magicspoon.com Southern Tea or look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or in your nearest grocery store. That's magicspoon.com southern tea for $5 off foreign let's take a quick second to talk about kids health and specifically their vitamins. We all know that I have talked about Haya for years and Jackson has been on Haya since he started taking vitamins. If you guys have Never heard of Haya. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise, filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals and other gummy junk that growing kids just should never eat. And that's why Haya was created. It is a pediatrician approved so super powered chewable vitamin. I did a ton of research on kids vitamins and Haya is top notch.
- [31:08]
C
My sister in law has been using Haya with our nephew for a while now and I thought it was so crazy that most children's vitamins are filled with 5 grams of sugar and can contribute to a variety of health issues. Haya fills in the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment your kids need with a yummy taste that they love. Formulated with the help of nutritional experts, Haya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals including vitamin D, B, 12C, zinc, folate and many others to help support immunity, energy, brain function, mood, concentration, teeth, bones and more. I'm telling you Lindsay, if I could get my hands on this for adults, I absolutely would.
- [31:50]
B
I also recommend checking out their new kids probiotic and nighttime essentials. We were able to work out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50 off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hyahealth.com southerntea this deal is not available on their regular website. Go to H I Y A H E a l t h.com Southern Tea to get your kids the full body nourishment that they need to grow into healthy adults. I have to heal myself first for me to be able to be anything for anyone else. And we've talked about like cups and you know, mine feels very full with just Jackson and trying to navigate like my own self that why would I do that to somebody and set them up for failure when I have nothing literally to provide? Like I have nothing left.
- [32:50]
C
But you still have the one, right? Like that's the thing. It's like you still have the one and sometimes the one. We give into our wants more than we take into consideration our needs. And the need was for you to be able to heal, but the want was greater.
- [33:05]
B
Yeah. And I think that just seeing like an opportunity present itself and me taking the leap of faith to like test it out, um, because maybe my happy ever after will like come from it. I think that that's like a very normal thing to like have that Want. And I do somewhat feel like it's a need for me to some degree, but my need for myself to heal is greater than my need to be in a relationship.
- [33:40]
C
And I think that's amazing that you realize that now, and you're making action. You're. You have an action plan towards healing instead of towards, like, just coping.
- [33:53]
B
And I think that that's what I've done for a long period of time, just, like, suppress all of these things that truly weigh on me every single day of my life and try to find, like, happiness somewhere else. When there's all these underlying issues that exist. It's like putting a band aid over a bullet hole.
- [34:14]
C
You want to go, like, real, real right now?
- [34:17]
B
Yeah.
- [34:17]
C
Okay. You, up until recently, have had a pattern of about every three months. You would absolutely lose your mind.
- [34:27]
B
Yeah.
- [34:28]
C
And it would be because you were trying as much as you could to be coping with all the things that, in the various ways that you tried that were not working. And I think roughly every three months, you would have this realization that this is not working, and it would literally drive you insane.
- [34:47]
B
Like, mental breakdown.
- [34:48]
C
Like, you know, since I've known you, which is back since 2017.
- [34:54]
B
I know. And it's. It's like you get in a little stride of what feels like happiness in that time. And then I do believe that it was kind of, like, in a pattern. Like, roughly, like, every three months, I'm literally losing my mind, having mental breakdowns, not knowing if I'm coming or going. Like, am I doing the right thing with this relationship? I'm not healed from my divorce. I'm not healed from family stuff. Like, and facing that to some degree, but not facing it in the way that I should have properly been facing it.
- [35:39]
C
Yeah. Like, it's like you would take baby steps towards it, get real uncomfortable, and run. And I'm not judging when I say that. It's just what I noticed. And I think it's so common, like, because a lot of people can start to get into the uncomfortable, but sitting in it is what's really hard.
- [35:57]
B
And I think, you know, I've prayed a lot about it since being back in church. Like, God, just tell me what I need to do, because I can't make these decisions clearly on my own because I've made a plethora of bad ones, and it's not working. So, like, please give me something. Like, tell me something. And I. I really do. And correct me if you think I'm wrong. I feel like I woke up one day and it was just like, okay, yeah, like, I'm. I'm done.
- [36:31]
C
I think that it was. I think you had a catalyst and then coupled with you going to church, I think that the catalyst and you going to church happened at the same time.
- [36:40]
B
I do, too. And it was like the perfect storm.
- [36:43]
C
Yes, Literally the perfect storm. And it was like one of the first storms that I've seen you go through and not have a mental breakdown. And I was like, something about this is different.
- [36:54]
B
Yeah. I noticed the difference in myself. It was almost like a. Not that this stuff isn't triggering. Right.
- [37:02]
C
But.
- [37:04]
B
The trigger, I think, over time became less and less. And I do feel like, because I. I started praying, like, God, like, your will be done. Like, don't. I'm not concerned with my will. We know that my will is not the way. And I. I think I just had such a sense of peace because I truly did relinquish what needed to be done to God.
- [37:31]
C
Right. And I think that that's been huge for you.
- [37:35]
B
Like, I was no longer trying to control it. I no longer was trying to make things work that I knew was not going to work. And I very much also struggle. And you and I have talked about this before. Letting go of people in my life. Right. Like, that's been a really, really hard thing for me with relationships. Like, I never really, truly, fully break the tie. And I know that that is so unhealthy, but I just, like, can't do people like that.
- [38:13]
C
But I understand where it comes from, because for me, looking from the outside in, it is not feeling like you have a place like, where. Where you fit in, like just life and also in family and things like that. And I'm not talking about, like, your family, extended family. I'm talking about, like, your family specifically. I think there's a lot of guilt that you carry surrounding just things for your life and your son's life. I think that you have abandonment issues. It's just. I think it's a plethora of things.
- [38:53]
B
And when you have those types of issues, you. No matter how much you try to get someone else to fix those things, no one else is ever going to be able to fix those.
- [39:05]
C
No, no. And if I had to guess, I feel like it would lead to insecure attachment. Like anxious, insecure attach. Attachment style.
- [39:15]
B
Very much so.
- [39:16]
C
And that those are hard because I have an anxious attachment style. So, like, speaking from experience, those are really hard. And they're not. They're easy to get into. And they're. And they're really hard to get out of. And they are, they can be a complete energy suck for sure.
- [39:36]
B
And completely unrelated news, but somewhat related. I did want to just briefly address a couple of things from the podcast episode that was done about me last week. I think it was what, last Wednesday?
- [39:56]
C
I believe so.
- [39:58]
B
And I truly just want to be very clear whenever I say this. Nothing is coming from a malicious place. I am not angry. Sad, yes. But I also want to be very careful to not give more energy to this than what needs to be given and also want to be very careful about not taking away from the three part project that I did by addressing this. But I do, I do feel like I owe people who listen to me coming off of that project and have a desire to give some type of like context and clarity and not just for people who are listening, but also for full closure for myself as well. I have said in the past I'm not going to be speaking on anything. I'm not going to be engaging. And I do feel like I did that for, and did it successfully for a period of time. And it, it seemed to work out in my favor to like not give things energy that I just didn't need to give energy to. And it worked out in the favor of my home. It was working out in my favor for personal relationships and that is including my son, but not just limited to my son. And I just, I, I don't understand what transpired last Wednesday. But for those of you who did not listen to that, after the three part project that we released was released to the public on Tuesday, October 21, I believe it was at 10am Is that correct?
- [42:00]
C
Yes, that is correct.
- [42:04]
B
I'm just going to assume that that's where this podcast response.
- [42:10]
C
Sorry, I'm going to back you up there. No, we released a promotion for the three part series on Tuesday the 21st at 10am okay. The first episode release was Wednesday and.
- [42:24]
B
Then Thursday, Friday to Patreon and then accessible to public for the third part on the following Wednesday.
- [42:35]
C
Correct.
- [42:36]
B
So I'm assuming that that's where this podcast response was coming from. And I just want to break down a couple of things. The, the first instinct that I had when I was being tagged in all of these things and being sent messages about it was, you know, and an attempt to possibly get ahead of what I was saying. And I do think that that's perfectly fine. And it is very common practice in PR and our business to, you know, try to get ahead of something before something's released. Right. And that seems to be the path that that was chosen and I always respond accordingly. Kristin, I am putting you on the spot. What is a purchase that I would never make that you would immediately know was a scam?
- [43:42]
C
Oh, this one used to be like anything involving reading, but you're a reading girly now, so that gets a little bit difficult for me.
- [43:50]
B
Listen, I will tell you a scam that almost got me the other day. It was from like a random number and it was saying that I had like these toll charges and I needed to pay them and immediate. I was like, I'm being scammed.
- [44:03]
C
You know, I'm so proud of you for identifying that because not everybody can, but I have a hack for everybody. Your security deserves to be a priority, and Cash App treats it that way. With Security Lock, Cash App requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. It's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard, even if your phone is lost or stolen. Plus, if you're about to send money to someone new and Cash App notices something looks a bit off or that you might be falling for a scam, it will send you a warning before the money is sent to confirm that everything looks right. Turn on Security Lock in your Cash App settings today and pay attention to scam warnings to keep your money safe. Learn more at Cash App Slash security.
- [44:45]
B
For a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use code SECURE10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by SUT Member fdic Discount and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. Brand. Visit Cash App Legal Podcast for full disclosures. Normally, I am a respondent to all of the things that have transpired, whether it be said on a podcast or whether it be said on TV or, you know, social media in. In some way. And like I said, at some point I did stop responding and didn't want to feed into anything to keep something going, just, you know, for media for headline grabs. I do feel like when you stop responding to certain things that seem to be very like headline grabby, that the public relevancy of that just kind of dissipates. And I did that after. I mean, how long, Kristen, has it been since I've said anything?
- [46:06]
C
Oh my gosh. If I'm not mistaken, I think the last thing was the Cruella thing, which I think was back in maybe July.
- [46:16]
B
Yeah, but that was just a. I.
- [46:18]
C
Was just like a little thing that was just a little Instagram, like, play on, like, what was going on as far as addressing on podcast. Oh, my gosh.
- [46:26]
B
I mean, it's been a very long time.
- [46:29]
C
Yeah, it's been quite some time.
- [46:31]
B
And so there was a quote, and I don't know who said it, but I'm just gonna say it was quoted. We think that we know the information is. Because Lindsay has said it a million of times. I want to address that first and foremost. I'm very aware that my following is less than theirs. TV relevancy is less. So I don't think that that's foreign to any of us, whether it be myself or me talking to Kristen or people who are listening to this that, like, I get it. The question that I have with this statement and have had since I heard about it is how could I not address it?
- [47:27]
C
It's really hard when it's a familial issue that has already been made public for years at this point. And I feel like it's easy to say, I'm not going to respond. I'm not going to respond. I'm not going to say anything. And then something happens and it's like, oh, well, damn it, I shouldn't have said that, because now I feel the need to. For whatever reason you have, it's. And, you know, you and I have talked about that. I'm like, okay, well, let's not say that you're not going to say anything if there is a potential that you may. Given if something happens. Everybody has an instinctual need to want to defend themselves.
- [48:04]
B
And I really didn't feel like I was necessarily coming from a place of defense, like, wasn't necessarily that. But I guess I could see why people would view it as, you know, possibly defensive or they're viewing it, you know, as defensive. But the. The statement was, you know, we don't know why she's doing this. The question that I would have would be, why did you use me as a storyline on your latest document documentary, then collectively join and release a recap episode on a podcast and expect me to remain silent? While it very much feels like targeted.
- [48:53]
C
Bullying, I think that a lot of your individual family members say has been publicly heard for a long time. I feel like you have not been so loud about what you've had to say. And I do fully believe that if one side is going to continue to, you know, share whatever they choose to share, you're entitled to do the same.
- [49:19]
B
And I Mean, I responded to act like this came out of left field is just wild work to me because it was a response to actions that had been taken that I felt the need to respond. And I knew that nothing good might come of it, but I got tired of sitting silently and just allowing the stuff to continue to happen. And I don't know why anyone would assume that you can just go out on the Internet and use public platforms to like say and do all of these things and then think that somebody's just gonna sit back idle.
- [50:06]
C
But you also, like, this is, this is my whole confusion. You all have public platforms, right? So why is it okay for one side to use theirs but you're not supposed to?
- [50:18]
B
I mean, I don't know. And, and only they can answer to that. The next quote was, we get a call from our attorney this morning notifying us that Lindsay had been working on a three part pod. And I just find that statement. I've got to laugh because the last communication that was had specifically with, and I'm again assuming that this is the attorney that received the cease and assist for three people, why would that attorney be on my social media? Because the only inside information that they would have that I was doing this project would be from specifically what was released on Tuesday, October 21st at 10am so are we saying that the attorney was on my social media? Because the last communication that my attorneys.
- [51:20]
C
Had.
- [51:22]
B
With their attorney was on October 14th stating that they would be sending a responsive letter back in regards to the cease and desist and we have yet to receive one. But then allegedly had time to look at my Instagram to alert of a project that I was doing that was also completely available to the public.
- [51:45]
C
It's. Yeah, I. That was really confusing for me, like knowing that you had tried to, you know, potentially go a different route and we're waiting on a response. I heard that and was very confused.
- [52:01]
B
I attempted to communicate multiple times, starting with my nanny on July 8th and asked her to relay the message to my dad to give me a call when that didn't transpire. And then these, you know, things have been said on the documentary and this recap episode on the podcast and me having to publicly wear the brunt of comments of people literally telling me to kill myself or for me and Jackson to die at that point, yes, I, I did in fact send cease and desist letters to three different people that it was relevant to those specific three people and held off on this project to give the grace and the timeline to expire. And not only did the timeline expire on the cease and desist by October 14th? I'm pretty sure we gave an additional.
- [53:10]
C
Seven days, yeah, because we didn't release the first episode until the 22nd.
- [53:17]
B
So I'm, I'm very confused about that. Also, the comments regarding the Patreon was wild to me and wildly misleading in the podcast world. Just for those of you who are listening, to give you some context, we are required to release our podcast episodes on a schedule and we did successfully do that for the Southern Tea, which releases on Wednesdays, Coffee Convos which releases on Thursdays. And at the time of doing this project, we did not know how many parts that this project was going to end up being. Kayl and I actually recorded for over six hours. This ended up being spliced into three parts. So to allow the people who were invested in this and who were following along with this to be able to have access to the third part in that same week, we put it on Patreon.
- [54:18]
C
Yeah.
- [54:19]
B
Yes. Could you pay for it if you wanted that third part for you to listen? Wednesday, Thursday and Friday? Absolutely. But for the people who did not want to pay for it, it was publicly available for free the following Wednesday day on Southern Tea.
- [54:35]
C
Yes.
- [54:36]
B
So I don't understand that as if this was money grab situation. Also, regarding the, the Google documents or evidence or receipts, whatever we're calling them, I did not want that publicly out there on my Instagram page or on Tik Tok. If people were that invested and wanting to see that stuff, then yes, we did put it behind a pay wall. I would be perfectly happy. I don't know that all parties would be happy if I did this, but I would be perfectly happy to provide all of that information for free.
- [55:15]
C
Listen, I saw enough stuff get ripped off Patreon. If people want it, they're going to get it, paying for it or not.
- [55:24]
B
That was also another attempt by myself to do something in a professional manner which the topics of the things that were discussed were very hard hitting topics and very serious things that I didn't want to just go out there and post that stuff on TikTok.
- [55:46]
C
Right.
- [55:47]
B
And so I just personally feel like the comments that were made regarding Patreon were completely misleading.
- [55:55]
C
I would agree. I also am a little bit confused why there. What led to this was a, I would say a reactivation of old that has gone down. So why is that okay to be monetized on one side, but you're not entitled to monetize your response?
- [56:20]
B
That's, that's a wild thought process there because why are we discussing me running my business and giving my side of the story through an outlet that is my job, but also a community of people that I very much care for, have fostered and trust. Why would I not be allowed to do that? Because if anyone thinks that anyone just went on a Lifetime documentary and didn't get paid, that couldn't be further from the truth.
- [56:57]
C
It's just like I don't understand why anybody cares how anybody's making money. Like what? You're all in the same industry.
- [57:05]
B
It it truly baffles me. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack and hydration sponsor. IQ Bar is the better for you Plant protein based snack made with brain boosting nutrients to refuel, nourish and satisfy hunger without the sugar CR the Ultimate.
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C
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B
I love the IQ Mix. I'm actually drinking an IQ mix right now. I've turned so many people on to this product. It is a zero sugar drink mix that hydrates with electrolytes, improves mood and boost clarity. I know that Corey loves the IQ Joe and I also have the IQ Joe in my pantry for the coffee lovers that come to my house.
- [58:19]
C
It is so good, he says. It's actually packed with 200 milligrams of natural caffeine. Comes in four different flavors that are better than any brewed coffee. So I've heard.
- [58:28]
B
And right now IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20 off all IQ Bar products including the sampler pack plus free shipping. To get your 20 off, text T to 64000 text T to 64000 that's T to 64000 message and data rates may apply. See Terms for details. I did want to touch a little bit more on the cease and desist that was referenced in regards to that my attorneys did in fact send a cease and desist. I wasn't going to go public with that because I tried to privately deal with this the night of July 8, I tried to privately deal with it via cease and desist when there was no action taken from the July 8th attempt. Gave opportunity and then gave opportunity past the time of opportunity and still didn't take me up on it. What am I supposed to do? The cease and desist was regarding things that have spanned over the years as well as notating things that were said in the Lifetime documentary. And I will stand on that. I operated in good faith. There was opportunity to respond. There was no response. After multiple attempts to handle this situation privately, as well as their attorney emailing my attorney to meet the deadline of the response time for this letter to say we will be sending a responsive letter back shortly. And then never did. As of today of us recording this, there has been nothing.
- [60:06]
C
Yeah. Which is 100% accurate.
- [60:09]
B
I mean, if they would like to produce the cease and desist to the public, I don't have any reservations against them doing that.
- [60:20]
C
Yeah.
- [60:21]
B
I'm personally not going to do it because I operated in good faith and tried to handle that situation privately. And again, they're the ones that brought this public.
- [60:32]
C
Yeah. I just. I think that again, I stand behind what I said about. We've heard publicly what they've all had to say and you are entitled to say what you have to say.
- [60:48]
B
I just don't understand, like, where anybody's getting lost in the sauce on that.
- [60:55]
C
I don't really know. While we're on the subject of clarifying things, can we have you clarify. There seems to be a little misunderstanding. In one of the episodes, you mentioned that you have not spoken to Nanny since the last communication you had on July 8, people took that, ran with it and are assuming Nanny stopped communicating with you.
- [61:19]
B
No, that is, in fact, not what happened. At the point that I went to my nanny to try to get me in communication with my dad on July 8th, at the point that she gave that information and there was nothing done and I knew what I was going to have to do moving forward, I removed myself from that situation so that she wasn't caught between hell and a gate post.
- [61:49]
C
That's a new one. I've never. I've never heard that one. But that's a very good explanation.
- [61:54]
B
And you know that to be true because I shared that information with you.
- [61:58]
C
Yeah, I saw.
- [62:00]
B
Is that something that I am proud of, to cease communication with my grandmother in her 80s? No, it's not. But do I want her in the middle of this? No, I also do not. So the way to remove that situation is to remove the communication.
- [62:20]
C
Right. And it's sad. Like, I. There's no part of this. It in that realm. You never wanted to stop talking to nanny, and I know that.
- [62:30]
B
And I mean, it's heartbreaking. It. This is somebody that I talked to on the way to taking Jackson to school, on the way home from Pilates in the evening, whenever I was cooking dinner. It has been a very hard transition, and you know that.
- [62:44]
C
Yeah. Very emotional.
- [62:46]
B
But I stand by. If I knew what I was going to do, why would I put her in a position to feel like she was stuck between the middle of something that she's not in the middle of?
- [63:00]
C
I think people would have to understand the dynamic that you had while your parents were incarcerated verse, when they were pardoned, because there was a shift. Extremely. An extremely harsh shift. Very quickly.
- [63:15]
B
Very quickly. And I can't speak on it. Not because I don't want to speak on it, but I don't have enough information to. To give to that. To even know myself why there was the. The harsh shift.
- [63:31]
C
Right. Yeah. I just. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to clarify that because it's something that I've seen being reported on inaccurately.
- [63:42]
B
That's really all I have to say. Anything else that I would be commenting on would be regurgitation of stuff that does not need to be regurgitated. I know that you had a couple of questions for me, so I'm gonna let you ask me those, and then I'm gonna share what's to come for the future. And then I'm going to go to Zen Pilates class.
- [64:11]
C
I love that for you. I did have a few questions that I did want to ask you. Just kind of after seeing the podcast episode come out last week and your project get released the week prior. So the first one I had for you is what is it like growing up in a family where public perception always matters? Because that seems very apparent to me that that's something that strongly matters of utmost importance.
- [64:42]
B
I could agree. I always said from the time that we signed on to do this project that it was not a good idea. Like working in that capacity, opening a life up to TV and speculation and all of the things was just not a good idea. And I think that, you know, as you said, it's very normal to want to defend yourself and to defend your position in something. So I, you know, am in full agreement with that. I just think that the show could have done so much more had it just been fully authentic and Just allowed people to think what they're going to think. Because at the end of the day, if you're being authentic to yourself and you're being authentic to what you're doing, like in your job or your family life, like whatever that looks like, then that is just your. You're living your truth. Right. And so who cares about the public perception? Like, everybody. I've had to learn the hard way through all of this, and more specifically, you know, after the Lifetime documentary came out, that people are going to have opinions about everything. So public perception for what? Like, you're not going to change everybody's mind.
- [66:10]
C
Right, Right. I think that it's a shame because when you put public perception or just anyone's perception over family or friendship or really anything, it never ends well.
- [66:28]
B
I can say I wish a lot of the things that the public was allowed to have perception on should have been handled privately.
- [66:38]
C
Okay.
- [66:41]
B
But at the end of the day, that's not the reality. Right. Because it's all been public for years. So at the point that it's public, then just let it be public. We wouldn't have been worrying and navigating public perception on some of this stuff if simply people just governed themselves differently.
- [67:04]
C
Right. That makes sense to me. The next one that I had, and you touched on this a little bit in your project, is really just about the emotional side, like, emotionally. What. What would you want people to know about how this has been emotionally when you've been just being used as a talking point, a storyline, just something to discuss versus being just a person?
- [67:34]
B
I mean, I think the. The storyline comment goes all the way back to when we started reality tv. Like, everything was storyline. And I have seen it with other people that I know from reality tv, kind of embrace the character, you know, that has been developed for what's going to be on tv. And at the end of the day, you have to look at yourself and say, okay, I am more than just. Just a storyline. I'm more than what people just watched. Like, I'm a person. Just like you're a person listening to this and like everything in life is not a damn storyline.
- [68:22]
C
Yeah, I've definitely noticed that myself. Where. And it. It's almost like a reality TV curse where things are looked at instead of being looked at in the emotional toll that it could take or the physical toll, the mental toll, whatever it may be. It's like, oop, this is juicy. This is storyline. This will get a reaction. And I. That sucks.
- [68:45]
B
And it's just like, at what point as Human beings do you just say, okay, like, just let it rest. Let it be what it's gonna be. You go on with your life. And if you want to live a life of storyline like you go on with your life, I'm not merging over into your lane, please don't merge in mine. I promise. I don't want you over here.
- [69:11]
C
When you hear the kind of things that were said on the podcast episode that came out, or anything that's been said before that, what is your first instinct? Like, is it to defend? Is it to disengage? What is it?
- [69:25]
B
It used to be defend. I mean, you know that I allowed other people to review that. Like, I didn't review it or listen to it. However, I did see some clips just through, you know, scrolling through my for you page or like explorer page, whatever, of clips that came up. And that's just completely unavoidable. I guess. I didn't feel a sense of immediately needing to defend. I did feel myself disengaging. And, you know, I said that, like, for what? So I can get myself worked up or be upset or be hurt or, you know, it's kind of like putting yourself in a line of fire. Right. Like you're engaging with something that is triggering to you.
- [70:22]
C
Yeah.
- [70:23]
B
Like, why would you do that? So my first instinct was to put it in the hands of where it needed to go. And my second instinct was to completely disengage and have a good weekend with my son. We did Halloween, had a wonderful weekend, watched sports, went church, did all the things, and move on with life. Because while this is very relevant publicly in my life right now, it is truly not relevant in the way that some people may think in my personal life. Because it's no longer personal to me.
- [71:02]
C
Exactly. I mean, I think that's a great, a great distinction. And then the last question I have for you, and it kind of goes out to everybody involved in the situation, but I'm. I only have you. So I'm asking you what do you feel like the fine line is between sharing your truth and airing out family business? And do you feel like any of you involved actually know what that line is?
- [71:28]
B
I can just say there was a lot of commenting and things about my preparation for those episodes and the, you know, color coded binder and whatever. I think the, the fine line that I walked was only sharing things that were somewhat already publicly known. And I can promise everything that was in that binder was not used.
- [72:02]
C
Correct.
- [72:04]
B
So for that there was a sense of protection and not just going Full balls to the walls. I'm just going to say everything that I have to say. Like that wasn't necessary, but to give a timeline of events, of things that had transpired to get us where we are today. A lot of that stuff was already publicly accessible, so I felt like that was the path that I was going to take. Do I ever think that any of this family business should have ever been out to the general public? I do not.
- [72:38]
C
I would agree. I would, I would think that in, in the situation that has transpired, I, and I get it because there's TV involved. Right. And like, you have to have a storyline and it has to make sense to real life and all those things. But watching anyone's family drama play out like your family issues, and I'm not even speaking just you, anybody's family issues should never be entertainment for another individual to consume.
- [73:06]
B
But when the family issues became public because of someone in the family making those things public.
- [73:14]
C
Yeah.
- [73:15]
B
Then it's fair game at that point. It is no longer the viewer's fault for being involved in family drama or controversy that they were given a front row seat to.
- [73:27]
C
No, I, I agree with you. I just sucks because it's like nothing is actually off limits once you get involved in tv.
- [73:36]
B
Nothing and whole life gets opened up. I want to be very clear when I say this. There was not one chance, and Kristen knows this for a fact, not one chance that I was ever participating in any TV related project further from my departure from Chris Lee Knows Best. I have no desire to be on tv, don't care for tv. I've seen what it can do to families. I, I live it. And yeah, I think someone is very dedicated to things being storylines that fit certain narratives, but not allowing other storylines that don't fit the narrative that, that you're trying to like put out there. That's bothersome because. Just let it all be what it is.
- [74:38]
C
I think the only time that you ever even considered it was after your parents went to prison and you were approached with that family opportunity and your dad had told you that he wanted y' all to work together.
- [74:51]
B
Yeah, that was the only time that I would have considered it. But on good terms and on our terms.
- [74:58]
C
Yeah.
- [74:59]
B
Like at the end of the day, our parents were in prison, so, you know, it could have fully been on our terms. And that's not what the experience was prior to that.
- [75:11]
C
No. And that was the only time I've seen you consider it.
- [75:14]
B
And that was a consideration that we didn't know any details of. What that was going to look like. And if it would have looked anything like what I had experienced before, I would have stepped away from that.
- [75:27]
C
Right.
- [75:28]
B
So I'm sure people want to know, like, what is to come. I am currently planning with my team an episode with Jackson for him to be able to share his experience throughout this journey, possibly bring Will on. We would have to fully develop that and see kind of like, what we're working with. I know he is a highly requested guest, and you know that that's what is to come. I am done with anything that, like, does not feed my soul anymore, which I love that.
- [76:07]
C
I think moving with intentionality is great. Like, you know, what. What do you feel like we can expect from you moving forward as far as, like, Southern tea, your Instagram, your tick tock, like, your content? I know you had, like, tried different things leading up to your hiatus from social media. Like, tell. Tell me about it.
- [76:29]
B
I just think that the more that I've prayed and the more that I've sat with myself, that it's very easy to get wrapped up in things that might not necessarily be, like, a true reflection of exactly who you are. And I had a. A social meeting earlier this week, and the conversations that were had on that I felt were very authentic. I was coming from a place of, like, I literally have zero desire anymore to just feed into whatever's popular on social media or, like, whatever the popular topic is to discuss or, you know, to do things that just like, to just put something out. Like, I don't. I'm not doing that anymore. I don't have to do it anymore. I'm not going to do it anymore. If I'm doing it, it's. I wanted to do it, and I just feel like, you know, maybe doing more, like, days in the life of, like, what our life looks like behind all of this.
- [77:39]
C
Yeah. What your actual life, like, your personal life looks like.
- [77:43]
B
Yes. And, like, you know, we had discussed that. Kale and I, our generation very much grew up. We were like the first kids to the Internet. And it was very much based off of, you know, like, how people were going to perceive us and, like, curating this stuff and, like, making everything aesthetically pleasing. And, like, let's just be honest, everything in life is not aesthetically pleasing.
- [78:10]
C
I don't know a single thing that is, honestly.
- [78:13]
B
And so why. Why do we need to do that on social media? And it's hard. It's almost like a shield that you've become comfortable with because it allows you to feel like there still is somewhat of a barrier there. But at the same time, I feel like the world is calling for, for different now.
- [78:34]
C
1,000%. Nobody is like, yeah, is it nice? Like, is it mind numbing to look at someone's like, clean kitchen? Sure. Am I getting anything from that? No.
- [78:44]
B
No. And it's, you know, very much feels like sometimes when I see that content and maybe I'm just perceiving it wrong, but it very much feels like boastful, you know, like, oh, look at my clean kitchen. Like, no one really gives a crap about your clean kitchen.
- [79:03]
C
My God, I've never looked at it that way. But I can, like, I see it as someone trying to just like, keep up an appearance. But I, I can, I can see where you would potentially get boastful from.
- [79:17]
B
It's kind of like the mentality of keeping up with the Joneses, like, because your neighbor did it. Like, you should too.
- [79:24]
C
Well, that and like just what I have seen and what I think publicly has been seen is that the most perfectly depicted on social media hides the most behind the scenes.
- [79:36]
B
And listen, I can speak to that. Like, it is, is so true. Like, there's been so many times that we've done photos at my house and like moved one pile of to another corner of the room so that like, what was being photographed was perfect.
- [79:54]
C
Yeah.
- [79:55]
B
You know, and for what? Like, if you guys want to see my wreck, like my train wreck of my laundry and, you know, me backing into my retaining wall and me making my kid run outside the car because he farted and I can't stand the smell, like, if that's what you guys want to see, like, I'll unlock it. Like, that's fine. You know, honestly, it's a lot easier too, because it's just like, okay, this is just what's happening.
- [80:27]
C
Yeah. You're like, okay, I can just be.
- [80:29]
B
In the moment, you know, but on that note, I actually do have to go upstairs and put some sheets in the washing machine and then I'm going to head to a center and balance class because I definitely need to center and balance. If you guys have not subscribed to the Southern Tea, you can do that from any podcast platform. Wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast one. We love you guys and we'll talk to you next week.
- [80:57]
C
Bye.
- [81:01]
D
This November, action is free on Pluto tv. Go on the run with Jack Reacher Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for drive World War.
- [81:12]
B
Z Every human being we save Just.
- [81:14]
D
One less fight and Charlie's Angels.
- [81:16]
B
Damn, I hate to fly.
- [81:18]
D
Launch into Sci Fi Adventure with the Fifth Element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here? All the thrills, all for free. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay Never. Hey everyone, it is Sean D. Nelson, author, entrepreneur and CEO. You know that loves that guy. I've got some exciting news. Season two of the Let Me Save youe 25 Years podcast is finally here. We are back with more incredible insights, powerful stories, and expert advice to help you navigate business and life. Get ready for fresh topics, actionable takeaways, inspiring journeys that will save you years of guesswork. We go deep on topics that no one else wants to talk about, right? We're not talking about successes. We're talking about failures, mistakes. The stuff where the real lessons are learned along the way. Because even when we fall flat on our face, we're still moving forward. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur, business leader, or just looking looking to enhance your personal growth, we have something for everyone on this podcast. It's season two of the let me save you 25 years podcast, with new episodes every Thursday. Subscribe now on your favorite podcast app and let's get started.