Recognizing a Trauma Bond

Summary

The Southern Tea – "Recognizing a Trauma Bond"

Host: Lindsie Chrisley
Date: May 20, 2026
Setting: Recorded in New York City’s “Polly Pocket” Airbnb
Guests: Alessandra and MacKenzie

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Episode Overview

In this emotionally raw episode, Lindsie Chrisley takes listeners through her recent experience navigating a trauma bond in a romantic relationship. Joined by close friends Alessandra and MacKenzie, the conversation is an open, unscripted exploration of recognizing unhealthy dynamics, understanding the cycle of trauma bonding, and reflecting on how codependency and emotional manipulation can develop unnoticed. Lindsie offers deeply personal insights, addresses misconceptions circulating online, and shares her ongoing journey toward healing and self-awareness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Polly Pocket Apartment & Mindset

• The trio records in a cramped NYC Airbnb (“Polly Pocket”), sharing humorous complaints about the place, setting a candid, intimate tone for the episode.
  • "Honestly, you know what this Airbnb reminds me of? ...Robin Williams' divorce apartment." (Lindsie, 01:47)
• Lindsie admits feeling “functioning, non-functioning” due to recent emotional strain.

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2. Defining Trauma Bonds (03:00–06:00)

• Lindsie reflects on the last week of her life and how trauma bonds can form without realization:
  • “A lot of people don’t even realize they’re in them until it’s too late.” (Lindsie, 03:25)
• Definition: Trauma bonding is an emotional bond with someone causing you more harm than good, often making you feel dependent on them for emotional needs.
• 7 Stages of Trauma Bonding (per Lindsie):
  1. Love Bombing
  2. Trust & Dependency
  3. Criticism
  4. Gaslighting
  5. Emotional Addiction
  6. Loss of Self
  7. Resignation & Submission

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3. Personal Stories: Red Flags and Realizations (06:00–12:30)

• Lindsie and Alessandra dissect examples:
  • Love bombing disguised as helpful gestures (e.g., offering rides) that later reveal controlling motives.
  • “He wasn’t doing it for love, he was doing it for control.” (Alessandra, 07:03)
• The group discusses how partners can sense vulnerability and exploit it, often after a breakup or trauma, intensifying the risk.
• Reflection on how people around Lindsie saw the shifts long before she did:
  • "When something becomes your norm, you don't realize that you've changed because it's a slow progression." (Lindsie, 04:47)

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4. Cycle of Codependency (12:30–22:00)

• The relationship evolves into codependency; Lindsie describes not wanting—or being able—to do basic tasks alone (getting nails done, going to the store).
  • “I wasn’t going. I was never doing anything by myself, so I lost all sense of—” (Lindsie, 21:38)
• Friends clarify distinctions:
  • Healthy dependency: Mutual support in co-parenting (with Will).
  • Unhealthy codependency: Losing autonomy, relying on partner for basic functioning, intensified by betrayal or lack of trust.
• After public cheating ("AI cheating thing"), codependency deepened further.

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5. Withdrawing and the Painful Aftermath (22:00–28:00)

• Lindsie describes the “withdrawal” phase—likening it to addiction—noting intense emotional and physical reactions.
• The pressure of maintaining normalcy for public and family, while internally unraveling, is highlighted as an all-too-common, rarely discussed consequence.
  • “Mentally crashing after I've had a bath and laying in my bed because it’s the only place I can be by myself. Like, the public can’t see me, my kid’s not seeing me, he’s not seeing me.” (Lindsie, 26:22)

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6. Self-Reflection & the Challenge of Breaking the Cycle (30:53–41:42)

• Facing public scrutiny and rumors post-breakup while dealing with private grief (“gossip on the Internet”).
  • Lindsie recounts feeling crazy, being gaslit, and losing trust in her own intuition:
    • “I felt absolutely insane… I lost such a sense of trust within myself because I trusted that person so much emotionally.” (Lindsie, 36:18 & 36:27)
• Recognizing patterns: Attracting “fixers” possibly relating to her own “daddy issues.”
  • “It’s almost giving: I can come in and save you and be your boyfriend and your dad.” (Lindsie, 16:30)
• Dangers of wanting to “fix” someone, often at the expense of one’s own well-being.

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7. Grieving While in the Relationship & Losing Self (41:42–47:50)

• Lindsie admits she was grieving the relationship long before it ended—a common but under-discussed phenomenon.
  • “I lost so many pieces of myself trying to fix pieces of somebody else.” (Lindsie, 38:37)
• The toll: drastic weight loss, emotional withdrawal, losing a sense of identity.
• Parallels drawn to other women (e.g., reality TV stories) and the importance of paying attention to the physical manifestations of emotional pain.

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8. Moving Forward, Boundaries, and Public Narratives (47:50–67:53)

• Lindsie commits to no contact, acknowledging the necessity of this boundary despite the pain.
• Addresses online speculation, clarifies her role (or lack thereof) in recent tabloid stories—emphasizes boundaries between public/private life.
  • “It’s my story and people who involve themselves in my life… don’t get to come into my life and try to gaslight me into not having an open conversation about it.” (Lindsie, 57:52)
• Plans to air more detailed discussions about her experience in future episodes; vows to remain authentic to listeners, refusing to “pretend like I’m not a disassociated person.” (67:42)

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9. Listener Questions and Life Beyond the Breakup (68:21–end)

• Reflects on co-parenting journey, crediting the amicable relationship with her ex-husband Will and the difficulty for others who don’t have similar support.
• Shares future plans: seeking healing through a change of environment, possibly a “seven day beach vacation” with her son Jackson.
  • “Touch grass, touch sand, touch some type of land. Nature is healing.” (71:41)
• Ends on a lighter note, poking fun at the filming of Fast & Furious outside their Airbnb.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Love Bombing and Control:
  “He wasn’t doing it for love, he was doing it for control.” – Alessandra, 07:03

• Emotional Withdrawal:
  “It’s a withdrawal. It’s like a drug.” — Lindsie, 22:02

• On Losing Herself:
  “I lost so many pieces of myself trying to fix pieces of somebody else. And, like, that is so detrimental.” — Lindsie, 38:37

• Gaslighting and Self-Doubt:
  “I felt absolutely insane. … I lost such a sense of trust within myself because I trusted that person so much emotionally.” — Lindsie, 36:18 & 36:27

• On Authenticity:
  “I no longer can get on a podcast and act like nothing’s going on and sit and talk about pressure washing for an hour. … It’s not authentic to me.” — Lindsie, 67:42

• Advice for Healing:
  “Touch grass, touch sand, touch some type of land. Nature is healing. Water is healing.” – Lindsie, 71:41

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment/Topic | |---------------|----------------------------------------------------| | 03:00 | Defining trauma bonds | | 04:47 | Importance of self-awareness and slow progression | | 07:00 | Control disguised as care | | 12:30 | Codependency and losing autonomy | | 22:00 | Describing withdrawal post-breakup | | 36:09–36:27 | Feeling "crazy"—effects of gaslighting | | 41:42 | Grieving within a relationship | | 47:50 | No-contact and forced detachment | | 55:13 | Challenges of maintaining routine and healing | | 57:52 | Public narrative, boundaries, and authenticity | | 68:21 | Q&A: Co-parenting and summer plans | | 71:41 | Advice: Healing through nature |

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Episode Takeaways

• Recognize: Trauma bonds develop subtly, often under a veneer of intense affection and support, but are marked by a slow erosion of autonomy and self-trust.
• Reflect: Periods of personal vulnerability (like after a breakup) may attract individuals who seek control or wish to "fix" you—be mindful of this pattern.
• Heal: Withdrawal from a trauma-bonded relationship is emotionally and physically grueling; routines, self-care, and new environments can aid recovery.
• Set Boundaries: Remaining silent to protect others or avoid conflict often comes at the expense of self; sharing your story authentically is valid, even when difficult.
• You’re Not Alone: Grieving while still in a relationship, losing oneself in another, and the pain of detachment are common. Reach out, reflect, and reclaim your own narrative.

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For Listeners

This episode is a must-listen for anyone questioning the health of their relationship, grappling with codependency, or seeking validation for the complex emotions that follow a traumatic breakup. Lindsie’s candor, supported by her friends’ insights, normalizes the grieving process and underscores the importance of authenticity in healing.

Transcript

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

Maybe I'm just like, weird.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the Southern Tea with Lindsey Chrisley.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

I don't love them. A Southern girl and a boy mom

[Lindsay Chrisley]

who's trying to navigate life while staying

[Alessandra]

true to her roots.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea,

[Lindsay Chrisley]

and nothing but the tea.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

That is the tea. Here's Lindsay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. We abruptly ended our last episode talking about trauma bonds. And I feel like that cannot be an abrupt end. We are still in New York City recording. We're on the Polly Pocket couch in

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

the Polly Pocket Airbnb.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And honestly, you know what this Airbnb reminds me of and I couldn't put my finger on reminds me of? What's that actor that's in the Doubtfire? Robin Williams. Like his divorce apartment. Like, it's giving Robin Williams divorce apartment.

[MacKenzie]

This is literally an illegal build. Like, you can't convince me otherwise.

[Alessandra]

No, this is crazy.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

There is quite literally, and I don't know if it's a smoke detector or if it's a carbon monoxide detector detector, but it has like a black bag,

[Alessandra]

it's covered in a trash bag in

[Lindsay Chrisley]

a trash bag hanging out of the ceiling. And it's like giving me nightmares. If I could have a nightmare in this moment in my disassociated state.

[Alessandra]

It's just crazy. I mean, I've lived in New York for so long, like eight years, and I've never lived in an apartment this small.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's so insane. It's Unlivable.

[Alessandra]

It is unlivable.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It truly is.

[Alessandra]

You can have what, let's think, right? Three roommates in here. If you guys are all sharing a space, if there's one person having somebody over, that's it.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

But I don't think you hang out here.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think it's like you sleep apartment.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like you dwell here and then you go out. Go out, Right?

[Alessandra]

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you can't sit and watch tv.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But we were talking about trauma bonds, and I walked through the whole situation of the last week of my life, and I feel like there's so much more to go in to that story that I haven't even, like, scratched the surface of. But I think trauma bonds in a relationship are such a real thing, and a lot of people don't even realize they're in in them until it's too late. What is the definition of a trauma?

[Alessandra]

That's what I was about to look up.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So for those of you who don't know what a trauma bond is, I'm glad that you don't. But trauma bonding means that you feel like you have an unbreakable bond. Even though the relationship is causing you

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

more harm than good.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That emotional bond can make you feel like your partner is one of the only people, if not the only person, who can fulfill your emotional needs. Trauma bonding is a cycle, and there's seven stages of the trauma bonding cycle, and it includes love bombing, trust independency, criticism, gaslighting, emotional addiction, loss of self, as well as resignation and submission. And I personally feel like even if it wasn't intentional, and I say that because it could just be like, who a person innately is. Right. And that could be the case for, like, other relationships for that person. But I feel like I went through all seven stages of that in various different times. And I think the people around me saw it happening. And I kind of talked about on the Fireside Chat episode that there were things that people saw that was changing in me that I didn't notice was changing in myself. And I think when something becomes your norm, you don't realize that you've changed

[MacKenzie]

because it's a slow progression.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And it was a slow progression. Like the. The love bombing, the gaslighting of everything that goes wrong is your fault. If you bring up an issue, it is. You're trying to start an argument. No, I'm trying to gain clarity. There is difference between starting an argument and trying to gain clarity and to

[Alessandra]

have peace to that point. When I tell you, when I in A past relationship, like six years ago, she would any argument it is, oh, you're being too difficult at breakfast. Why don't you just choose something? Now I'm with a partner that is like, okay, take your time. If you're indecisive, so am I. There's like clarity and there's peace and you're not constantly walking on eggshells. It is not normal to walk on eggshells with a long term partner or person or whatever situationship you have.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You should never feel like you're walking on eggshells to try to maintain something. But I do think a part of a trauma bond is someone gains so much of your trust that you feel like you need that person because they gained so much of yourself that they now somewhat own. And I don't know if that's the right. Is that the right way to say it, Alessandra?

[Alessandra]

Like, yeah, I would say so.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's like they owned a part of me that I didn't even realize that I relinquished.

[MacKenzie]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Because it's over time manipulation. If somebody's like matching your energy, Right. And like acting like they're so interested in your life, of course you're going to fall for this person tenfold. You're going to be like, oh my gosh, this is the love of my life.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And it's like the flower. It's not real. The, the helping with things around the house that felt like more of a manly thing to help with. And I'm not trying to like buy into the gender roles, but.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, but you like that in a man. You like, there's the parts that you've missed that weren't in your, you know, since you've been divorced, you know that you haven't had certain things. And he would take care of that and that's such a love language to you and he would cater to those love languages. So much so that it was manipulation for sure.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I feel like he wasn't doing

[Alessandra]

it for love, he was doing it for control.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

There were parts though that like felt so appealing to me at the beginning where it's like, oh, I will drive out of my way to come and get you. So I'm driving you to X place and then I will drive you home. But when it started getting towards the end, it felt unsafe because it felt like a control.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Because he wanted, they wanted to be driving the vehicle.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, yeah.

[MacKenzie]

Like that, that comes off nice. But that's also just within itself trying to control. Right. Like to control when you're going to get somewhere. How you're going to get somewhere when you're going to get home, like coming to pick you up. It sounds nice in theory, right? Especially the way that they're going to present it to you. But that in and of itself is a level of control. Have you seen that mean that? It's like love bombing works on me because to me makes sense that someone would fall in love with me that quickly. Like, I. I get it. Like, I am, oh my God, I've been love bombed so many times. I'm so vulnerable to it. And it happens more when you're in a vulnerable state.

[Alessandra]

It does when you're. When you're at a mentally lower point. I feel like you accept less than what you know you deserve, but also like you're not really knowing you deserve because you're such a, like, disillusioned spot in your life.

[MacKenzie]

The problem with love bombing, though, is, is that by the time you. It's not about not knowing what you want to deserve, that deserve in the moment. It's because they're doing all of these extreme things that they.

[Alessandra]

And you're like, wow, it'd be stupid to reject this.

[MacKenzie]

That are gonna get you.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[MacKenzie]

And then by the time they get you after the love bombing and the manipulation, that's when the coercion, that's when the control, that's when the manipulation truly comes into play. After they've already bought you with the love bombing and it's too, too late. It's too late at that point.

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And then it feels like such a sense of control over your life that you question how you could do life without that person. And while I very much loved some of the things about that person and the things that they were bringing to the table in that regard, I now know that I've stepped away from it. That it wasn't, it wasn't done in a genuine way to try to make my life easier or because I was loved so much, it was done to exert control over my life. And that is so unhealthy. And I look back just like reflecting over this time that I had just gotten out of a relationship when I met him. And so he was very aware of that and was very persistent. And I do love a persistent man. Like, I love a man that sees something that he wants and he will go after it and try to get it. I wish at that time that I would have been strong enough to say, no, not now, but maybe later, because I think I would have been in a better headspace to be able to see some of the things that I might have been subconsciously saying but was not acknowledging that I was seeing. I think any time that you've. And again, this is from self reflection. Anytime that you come out of a more long term situation, and I know Alessandra would disagree with me, two years is not a long term situation, but my relationship, I think post, I think

[Alessandra]

post divorce, yeah, that's, that's a long time.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Two years prior to knowing him and then being him with two years, maybe

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

half like the two year curse, right?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like it just lasts for two years and then it's done. But I think had I been self aware enough to know, like, hey, this is like not something that I can take on right now and not something that I'm going to provide anything to, even though that person is going to be persistent and say, hey, I can fix everything that somebody else broken you, it's not for a new person to fix. Like that was your trauma and that was your stuff and that was your heartbreak that you inevitably have to get through on your own. Nobody can get like, get through that for you.

[MacKenzie]

And I'm weary of somebody who comes in that knows like you've just been through a traumatic experience and they're like, let me be. Like, let me come in. Like that's a little.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Somebody that comes in and wants to take over and like hold you and coddle you after you go through such horrible things that are not your friends that have been there all along. That is a red flag.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But that's not only happened to me in my most recent situation, it happened to me to some degree in the situation prior to that. And if I would allow, it would be happening to me now. And so to Alessandra's point, she's watched me and I have shared all of the things that I'm going through and been open and honest about the feelings that I'm having. Even though there's some feelings that I have that I'm not necessarily proud of every single day I'm like, what the hell is wrong with me in my head that I'm thinking those things. However, I am not for somebody else to fix. Like I have to fix me and the pieces of me that are broken. But there is evidently something that is in me that people like want to save those parts of me because it's happened to me now three times.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Podcast Host/Co-host]

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[Alessandra]

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[Podcast Host/Co-host]

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[Alessandra]

H so now you're recognizing the pattern.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But it's. It's something in me that people want to do that because that's three different individuals who have wanted to do it with me.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[MacKenzie]

So I think it's similar to something I experienced when I was dating on, like, dating apps and stuff. Like, I was very vehement about, like, my political views aligning with the person I'm dating. So especially at the time that I was dating, it was like, at the height of all this stuff. So I put it in my Tinder profile. Like, if you're manga, whatever. Like, we're not gonna. There's no point. Like, don't try. The amount of men that go after women that they know are not going to agree with their affiliation, political affiliation, a religious affiliation, moral affiliation, their job, whatever the it is just so they can quote, unquote, break you or say that they did. So, like, when you come across somebody like you who's a little bit more guarded, like, it's almost a challenge for people like that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

Men that like a challenge are very manipulative. If they see a shell that they want to break, they're gonna go and break it and almost feel like it's a game. And that's the scary part. Like, your feelings and your vulnerabilities. Not a game. It's your life.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But as deeply as I've thought about this, like, the level of self reflection is wild. And I also think that I have attracted some relationships that see me as broken because of a fractured relationship with my dad. And it's almost giving. Like, I can come in and save you and be your boyfriend and your dad.

[Alessandra]

Like, they're trying to resolve your daddy issues.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. And like, you can. Only I can resolve this. Like, you can't fix those things for me. I have to fix those things for me. And I used to think that it was sweet. Right. Like, thank you for, like, wanting to save me and be there for me and be my best friend and do all of these things for me and try to heal my wounds.

[Alessandra]

Do you think at some point in, like, healing your wounds and he's, you know, healing. I say that in air quotes. Do you think you were emotionally depending on him? In a lot of ways I do. Like creating that pattern, like something that, I don't know, your partner would put a band aid on, you know, in situations because he could deal with that emotional lift of it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I wouldn't necessarily say that. Okay. I think that I was. I became so comfortable within. And it's not just this last relationship. It's been multiple.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But I became so comfortable within the relationship that they became an emotional backbone for me that I didn't have to do everything by myself. So it was almost like, you're stuffy when you're five years old. Like, when you need that comfort. That was a comfort. But knowing damn well it wasn't the comfort that I needed.

[MacKenzie]

Codependency.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, codependency.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

A codependent. It became a codependent relationship.

[MacKenzie]

And, like, I don't think people truly understand what codependency, like, really means. Like, that doesn't mean you want them to be up your butt all of the time.

[Alessandra]

It depends on the person.

[MacKenzie]

No, true. No. Yeah, but, like, that's the bottom line definition of what people think codependency is. But it's not. It's like that feeling like, oh, I can't do this alone. And sometimes that can be formed out of a trauma bone.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I do think that I became very codependent because we all know that I love a schedule and a routine, and so it's very easy. And this. This is for friendships when it comes to me. This is for relationships when it comes to me. Whether it be friendship relationships or working relationships, everybody somewhat knows what to expect from me. And so it's almost like it's easy for somebody to manipulate me in a lot of ways to make me feel like I need them. And then I become codependent based on the fact that I love the routine of it, and I know it's not healthy. Do I think that there is a somewhat. A healthy level of codependency on a partner? Yeah, if the relationship is healthy, like, you can be codependent on that person. Like, for example, I am codependent on Will when it comes to Jackson when I have to travel and vice versa. He's codependent on me when he has to travel and I have him. Whether it be my time or his time. It doesn't matter which way the cookie crumbles. But, like, we are somewhat have developed a codependency on each other through parenthood.

[MacKenzie]

I think that makes sense.

[Alessandra]

I think that makes sense. And I think that's healthy, but it's still codependent.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, we're not depending on anybody else.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, but. But you're both the parents, you know, So I think that's A healthy codependency angle. And it's. It's. But you guys are.

[MacKenzie]

What I'm saying it can be unhealthy when one person or two people in the relationship are not secure within theirself themselves. Does that make sense? Like, if you are relying on your partner to get the security in yourself, like, to have the confidence to go do something, or like, you can't go to the store, you can't go to your job, or you can't do anything without that person. I think that becomes a deficit with. Within yourself and your relationship, and it bleeds into that. Like, the thing you're having with Will. I would less qualif. I would less quantify it as codependency versus dependency. Like, codependency would be like that. You couldn't parent without Will. You can. You just don't want to.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No.

[Alessandra]

Alessandra was just saying there is a difference between codependency and dependency. Like, you and Will are dependent on each other to raise Jackson because you are both parents. And yes, we don't want to do it without each other, because, to be honest, takes two to tango to have a kid. You shouldn't have to do it by yourself. And I think that is healthy, but not being able to do things by yourself.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But it got that point in my relationship. Like, that's where it gets codependent to the point where I didn't want to go and even get my nails done by myself. Like, he would go with me to the nail salon, or if I didn't want to go to the grocery store until we could go in the evening, or whether it be on a Saturday,

[Alessandra]

like, because he would go with you.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I wasn't going. And if it was, I'm hungry, then we're texting, and it's like, I will meet you. I was never doing anything by myself, so I lost all self of.

[Alessandra]

You were in that independent for two years. You're like, oh, if I'm gonna go do anything, he's gonna be right there with me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. And so I think that's the hardest part that I'm struggling with. It's a withdrawal.

[Alessandra]

It's like a drug.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But the codependency became even worse in February after I've joked and said, like, the AI cheating thing. And people are like, does Lindsay really think it was AI? No. It was like a way for me to add humor to the situation so that I wasn't necessarily publicly facing it, knowing that publicly everybody knew about it. I think that even created a deeper Codependency because then there was a lack of trust, right? And so it was like, okay, if we're gonna try to make this work, which sounds insane now, me thinking of it, it sounds so crazy. But it's like, if we're gonna try to make this work, then we have to be together every night and you know, we have to do check ins with each other. And I'm not traveling for work unless you're going. And I did that for Dallas, like last minute split decision. And that was what, days after the I AI cheating situation. He booked his flight the day that I left to go to Dallas because I was like, I. I literally have to work and like, what you have done to me and just so like Nilly Willy went out there as a grown ass man and did that to me. And then not only just like the betrayal to me in my real everyday life of like things that I'm navigating, but then to do it so publicly and then me to just be traveling to work and you're just at home in the same location to where you can go and do that again. And like, I do realize when I'm talking out loud and I'm saying this stuff like, let go and let God and like, whatever the will is, let the will be done. Like, I get all of that, but it's easier said than done. And in my mind I'm like, okay, I need to go and do this work trip. I feel like I looked like a shell of myself on that trip. Like I had lost so much weight over such a short period of time. And it's because I was literally just doing everything that I possibly could do to just like feel like I was surviving. And I know that that sounds so obnoxious whenever I say it, but like, I don't think that people would understand unless you've been through a situation like that, that I was doing the best I could to get up and be somewhat routine to try to like make things feel more regulated. Regulated and normal. But I knew they weren't, like, I instinctively knew they weren't.

[Alessandra]

I remember when you were saying that to record the episode, remember that we were gonna do with him in Dallas. And then I got it all set up and I was like, okay. That's when we first started working together. I was like, okay, I'll do it. You gotta do Kayla. And I did it. And then you're like, I don't feel good about this. And I'm like, okay. When you're in that codependent cycle, everything is so intense. So you're on. Everything is amazing and the highs are high, but when shit hits, the fan is heading the fan. And then you go on a work trip, right? And you're like, well, I do miss

[Lindsay Chrisley]

him and I've lost it all. And like, my life is forever going to be changed if I make this decision. And like, you convince yourself and it's like this self talk that it truly is like an internal conversation that you're having with yourself. And it sounds crazy like I'm having these conversations with myself if I don't even in that situation, I didn't do anything wrong, but if I'm not the one that puts the foot forward to allow this to be fixed, then, like, you're at fault. I've lost everything that I've tried to build for the last two years. And you get on these highs of, hey, like, yes, this really bad thing happened, like cheating happened, but we can get over it. And it almost like brings newness to a relationship, but that's like a toxic cycle, right? Because it's like that's newness that you didn't invite. That's newness that you're accepting because of a situation that you didn't ask for. And so me going to Dallas and knowing that I had lost so much weight and I look back at the pictures just from that short amount of time ago, and it's sad for me to look at myself because I'm like, literally, what was I doing? And when I was at home, I was just trying to get Jackson to school and try to put on a brave face of like, hey, yeah, we can go and do whatever you want to do after school and we can go and get dinner. And then I'm literally mentally crashing after I've had a bath and laying in my bed because it's the only place that I can be by myself where no one else can see me. Like, the public can't see me. My kid's not seeing me, he's not seeing me.

[Alessandra]

I think that's so relatable too, because so many people are in those toxic marriages, right? Codependent marriages where they've known somebody for 15 years, right? And they have to put on a brave face for everybody. And, you know, the world is going to keep on spinning and you have to keep on doing your things and showing up for your kids and your work and blah, blah, blah. And inside you are crumbling.

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Alessandra]

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[MacKenzie]

Could be the rain, could be the upstairs bathroom.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yikes. You could hire the guy your neighbor

[Alessandra]

recommended, but I'm pretty sure that's just his cousin. Do we know if he's licensed or

[MacKenzie]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

Back to the point that you were making after it all came out on Reddit that there was this cheating situation that transpired. I was actually dealing with all of those emotions in real time while everybody else was using that as a talking point for gossip on the Internet. And it's like you can't get away from it because then you have personal friends who see stuff and they're texting and I'm not opening up. You know that this is what's going on. I'm just trying to navigate my own emotions, sitting inside of my house, wondering what the hell actually happened and what went wrong and how we got from point A to point B. Like we were at a nice dinner and now I'm being cheated on. Like, I couldn't wrap my head around that. And so the thing that I could most quickly wrap my head around was be honest with the public because it now is public. And like, there is a part of me that's like, now my business is involved in this, right? Like, it's, it's not just me personally and it's not just my kid personally anymore. And it's not just our families like, this is a topic that people are talking about on the Internet. And so I had reached out to Madison and she reached out to Kayla on our team, and they had put together kind of like what the episode would look like had David and I recorded that in Dallas. And it was the very last minute I got to the studio and we went in and I completely switched gears, and I was like, no, I can't do this. I literally am not in a place to be able to even have a conversation. And if I had a conversation with him involved, like, number one, you haven't done anything to. You absolutely have not done anything to deserve to have a piece of my platform, to be able to defend yourself and your actions for what?

[Alessandra]

I know I'm thinking about it now, just, like, visualizing it in my head. How dystopian would it have been if we had that episode? How crazy would that have been? Lindsay, never platform a man. I'll say here right now, no, no more men need to be on podcasts.

[MacKenzie]

But I think that, like, it's very poignant what you said, too, that, like, you were sitting there trying to figure out what you did wrong, because just based off. Off of the text messages that you read to me last week, like, that was a massive part of your relationship where he was trying to gaslight you, but also break you down to make you believe that you were the problem.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. So would you walk on eggshells around him depending on how his mood was? Was the vibe dependent on his mood? And, like, what is he feeling today?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I wouldn't necessarily say that.

[Alessandra]

Okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I think that I started noticing shifts after January, and I started picking up on certain things, and there were several, like, small lies that were told to me and some things that I medically dealt with since January that I just knew something instinctively like, was not right. And I would notice just, like, shifts in certain things that, like, no longer were happening. Like, the flowers stopped coming. The. The dates were more infrequent.

[MacKenzie]

The.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm on my way to your house, and you live 30 minutes and you're at home, and it's an hour and a half or two hours until you get there. Like, I'm at the gym and you're showing up at my house at 11 o' clock at night, and I asked to see your gym login because I know you're blatantly lying to my face, and you can't do that because it's a lie. Like, instinctively, like, I knew something was wrong, but I think that.

[Alessandra]

Were you denying it?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No. I wasn't denying it. I was acknowledging those things to myself, but I wasn't having conversations about it because I would always be accused of. You're trying to create a problem. No, this problem exists, and you're not wanting to face whatever this problem is. And I'm not going to accuse, like, anything of what would be going on because I don't have any knowledge to pinpoint, to say, like, yes, X, Y and Z happened. I just noticed a shift in the demeanor. And so.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

And you're valid for that.

[Alessandra]

Like, it's your partner. You pick on patterns. That's normal. I know when my partner's off, when it's a difference in tone, you know, so of course you're gonna be suspicious if somebody's coming to Your house at 11pm this is not a booty call. We're in a relationship.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I think that that's the kind of stuff that I was picking up on. But until I could actually put a finger on what was going on, I didn't want to, like, blatantly accuse someone of something.

[MacKenzie]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so I guess just, like, keeping score, but not necessarily of, like, I'm keeping this score because you've done something. I'm gonna do something to you. It wasn't like that. It was. I am keeping record of all of this stuff in my notes app because I know that that person had such a hold on me emotionally and mentally that I could be talked out of not believing what I knew.

[Alessandra]

Did you feel crazy?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yes.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. That's what they'll do to you. They'll make you feel like you are losing your mind.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I felt absolutely insane.

[Alessandra]

And like you said, I believe it was the last episode. That's how you lose trust with yourself, because they make you lose your mind.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I feel like I lost such a sense of trust within myself because I trusted that person so much emotionally that I felt like I was somewhat manipulated to think that that person would always choose my best interest and that I didn't have to worry about anything. Well, that's what they want you to think. I gave up my level of needing to trust myself because I felt like I trusted someone so much. And, like, I don't think if I was in the same room with that person, number one, I don't think that they would agree with me. I don't think they would acknowledge any of the ways that I feel. I don't think that there would be any acknowledgment of any wrongdoing. I don't think that that person understands the level of harm of what was done to me.

[Alessandra]

No.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I don't know that they have the capacity to understand that. So it would almost be like wanting somebody to understand something that they don't have the ability to understand.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. I don't think he ever will. He'll ever understand that capacity. Because honestly, probably blacked it out. He's also old. Yeah.

[MacKenzie]

Like, he's old. Do you know what I mean? Like, he should have known better by now.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[MacKenzie]

At 52, how are you not gonna know better?

[Alessandra]

Yeah, he, you know, you're an adult, you don't matter and you know what you're doing.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I just look back and I'm like, how did I let myself get to a place of. I was. And I genuinely was so in love with him. How did I let myself get to a place of. There were all these family trips and there were all these individual trips and spending the night at each other's houses every night and having open door policies to where, you know, you can just kind of walk in and make yourself feel at home. And your grill is my grill. And, you know, like all of these things, like, how did I get there to get here?

[Alessandra]

Yeah. You want to give that wifey energy, but it's choosing who you're giving that to. Not everybody deserves your girl. Is my girl.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I mean, I do. I get that.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But at the same time, I also found myself being in a situation of. And I did this in multiple relationships. There is a part of this person that is broken, and I want to be the one to fix it to the expense of my own self. I lost so many pieces of myself trying to fix pieces of somebody else. And like, that is so detrimental. And I watched what it did. Not just. You can't see from a visual aspect of mentally what's going on up here. For me, you can't see from a visual aspect unless I am on here crying what it did to me emotionally. But people saw what it was doing to me physically because the amount of weight that I lost, dangerous. And it's because I. I feel like I was grieving. And I think it's so common for women that you are in a relationship because you don't want to let it go, but you are also grieving the loss of that relationship while you're still in it.

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I am making myself sick every single day. And I know that if I. If I went back on it, but hindsight's always 20 20. If I went back on it and I saw what was Happening. And somebody put a picture of myself in front of me and said, this is what you look like. I was my ugliest self in that. And, like, I can so fairly say that because I look back on the photos just from Dallas, and I'm like, I don't know that girl.

[MacKenzie]

It's not ugly. It's just unhealthy.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And like, Like, I literally don't know her.

[MacKenzie]

From a different perspective, too, from your body. Because, like, that, obviously, it takes a toll. It was in your eyes, too.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, you could see it in your eyes, Lindsay. And it's something that women go through a lot. There's a. I forgot her name, but one of the original housewives, she is having, like, a really bad skin problem, right. And she was the one that got pregnant super, like, early on. She was 17, Utah. And the husband or boyfriend at the time turned into the husband. There was, like, a huge age gap relationship. When she got pregnant, she was 17 and he was already, like, mid-20s. I don't have the ages all correct. Anyway, she's had three or four kids, and now her body is physically rejecting this man because she's having hives and skin issues. And then she's vlogging this whole thing on TikTok where she's going to Hawaii with her kids in California, and all these skin conditions are, like, going away. And she's like, oh, it's Utah. It's Utah. And all the comms are like, girl, your body is rejecting itself from this guy because he is not for you.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But do you guys understand how hard it is for people to see you in real life and know something is, like, very wrong? But then for people to see you on the Internet and for strangers to know something is wrong, it's not normal. That is not normal at all.

[MacKenzie]

And also not to give a level of grace there either, because it was apparent that you were going through something and people just didn't not give you great.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, nobody gave you grace in those moments. Like, where's humanity at that point? Like, obviously, something is wrong. I understand. You only see you. Like, you might think Lindsay's this animated character in your brain, right? But this is real life, and this is real feelings. And I think people forget that starting

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

something new isn't just hard, it is terrifying. There is so much work that goes into this thing that you're not really entirely sure will work out. And it can be so hard to make that leap of faith. Trust me. Because I know when I started podcasting, I was not sure what I was even doing. And I was saying things to myself

[Lindsay Chrisley]

like what if no one listens?

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

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[Alessandra]

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[Alessandra]

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[Alessandra]

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[MacKenzie]

But we've got the peace of mind part covered.

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[MacKenzie]

My name is MacKenzie, and I started a GoFundMe for the adoptive mother of a nonverbal autistic child. The mother had lost her job because she wasn't able to find adequate care for this autistic child. So she really needed some help with living expenses, paying some back bills. So I launched a GoFundMe to help support them during this crisis. And we raised about $10,000 within just couple of months. I think that the surprising thing was by telling a clear story and just like, really being very clear about what we needed, we had some really generous donations from people who were really moved by the situation that this family was struggling with.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I think in instinctively I could see parts of me, like, drifting away, but I just felt like I will just get better. Like, this is not forever. Like, I will just get better. And I feel like I've probably gained four or five pounds since Dallas. And that's not a lot, but, like, it's. It's better than where I was. And I'm just trying to, like, look at silver lining. I mean, I was to the point that, like, none of my clothes fit. And that stress. That is me emotionally crying every night. That is me emotionally feeling so sick that I can't eat. That is me. Your body's telling you grieving a relationship. That is me still being in love with somebody, that, that we're not the best for each other. And, like, that is the hardest place to be. And then to know no communication, like, there is no. And I'm not saying there should be, because there shouldn't. But that is another level of grief that some people might not understand. Like, it's not like my Last relationship where something can linger on because you can just text and be like, hey, how are you? Like, there needs to be none of that. I am very well aware that is a necessity in a situation.

[Alessandra]

Two things can be true at once. You can grieve what you had. Right. And you know how it ended under those circumstances, I think one needed to happen because I think the cycle would have continued.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And regardless of what anybody will say whenever they listen to this, like, I genuinely don't want anybody to hate him. Like, I don't. I think I fell in love with the idea of who someone could be and not what was right in front of my face.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. I think, you know, you. It comes from your childhood. First that wound, you know, and you think, okay, what can I do to fix this person? And you can do absolutely nothing. You could do absolutely nothing. You can. What is that saying? Like, you can give to water, you

[MacKenzie]

can't make it drink.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, what, Lead a horse to water,

[Alessandra]

Lead a horse to water, but you can't make a drink. You can give every resource. Like, I have a lot of experience with like drug addicts. You know, it's in my family blood. And you can say, I'll pay for your rehab. You don't have to worry about any expenses for a year. Focus on your mental health. Does not matter. You know, people will put whatever they want to put first as a priority. As a priority in their. How they're acting, as a. How they want to act. At the end of the day, you cannot control a person. And they can manipulate and talking, saying that, I'm going to work on this. And then the dust settles from the argument and it's right back to where we started, as if those conversations never happened.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's how toxic cycles start.

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah. Once you accept it, once it's so hard for you to go, go and retract that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But to be in love with an idea is like crazy.

[MacKenzie]

People do it all the time.

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah.

[MacKenzie]

Ourselves and potential into other people and like the love that we can bring into a relationship. It's not crazy.

[Alessandra]

I remember the first, like real public person I saw do this crazily was ariana Grande in 2019. Mac Miller died in 2018. Right. And that was like her soulmate, right? And she met Pete Davidson and they fell in love, got matching tattoos, were engaged within like three months, right after her boyfriend previously passed away. That is not normal. And she wrote a whole album about him, monetized off of him and all that stuff. And then obviously that crushed and burned and she had a full crash out.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But like, there's. There's a lot of things that I've done that I am self aware enough. Yeah, enough to know that have not been normal. Like going from a relationship that I now know I wasn't in love with that person. I was having fun with the idea of possibly being in love with that person. That's very different than what I just experienced because I was actually fully in love with that person. He felt like my person. And so to go through that and to want to have a life with that person and to want to build a life with that person and to raise our children together and to maybe go and get tiny tattoos on a whim and, you know, maybe do an engagement or a marriage that nobody knows about. Like, to do those things did not sound crazy to me at the time that we were thinking of those things, but it is in fact crazy because as Alessandra has said, I wasn't content. And there should be an adult relationships at our big age. You should be seeking out contentment in relationships, not the highs and the lows.

[Alessandra]

No peace. You want peace and consistency. You know what's hot, you know what's great? A routine. Dare I say, consistently showing up for the person.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But that's the crazy thing is, like, we did create a. We did create a routine, but like, emotionally a routine.

[Alessandra]

Like, I.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, no, no, no. My life was a routine with him. It had nothing to do with an emotional routine, because there was no emotional routine. It was high and it was low,

[Alessandra]

and that's a problem.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It was. Was high and it was low. But throughout the week and on the weekends, like, we had a routine. But now I look back on it and it's like. Was the routine actually routine control?

[Alessandra]

Yes.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And that's what scares me, that I let my. I scare my own self.

[Alessandra]

Like, you let your guards down that much?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Because I let my guard down that much. And I. Anybody who knows me, y', all sitting in this room, I don't let my guard down like that.

[Alessandra]

No, your guards are very high.

[MacKenzie]

That's why it's hard to let go, though. Like, for people like you and I who do not let people in, there is something there that it's so hard to detach because you don't let it down. So you're like, there has to be a reason I did this for you. I'm not great. There has to be a reason I'm gonna find it.

[Alessandra]

And that almost reassures, like, wait, I want to stay here. This person is Made for me. Why would I ever leave this person?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But that's why the detachment is so hard. And it's not a chosen detachment either. Right? Because in this situation it's a forced detachment. And so I think that's two different things to navigate the forcing of the detachment and then the actual attachment itself, it's.

[Alessandra]

It's grieving on top of the public

[MacKenzie]

navigation of it all. Like, I've been through this and it wasn't public, dude. And it was genuinely like the physically the most heartbreaking thing I've ever gone through. I literally lost 50 pounds in three weeks. I couldn't eat. My mom was so worried about me to the point now that the only thing I would eat at the time was half baked ice cream. So if my mom sees me with a pint of Ben and Jerry, she's like about to call Peachford because she's like, dude, my daughter, like, it hurts. Your body, your body becomes physically dependent on this person.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's why I cannot wait to get home. Like, I have loved having my mind occupied to some point because I feel like it's quite literally helped me survive and detach enough to be able to get through my days. But I can't wait to get home because I have a book that I want to read so bad that so many people have sent me. The body keeps the score. And I can't wait to get back in to reading and watching shows. But I don't know if y' all have ever been through something like this, but I don't have the mental capacity to sit down and watch shows. And all the shows that I was watching, I can't pick up where I left off because I was watching it with someone else.

[Alessandra]

And so do you have any comfort shows?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's triggering to me.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

I don't really love to re watch shows.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, I am into watching like true crime series or stuff like that. Like, but now I can't ever go back to watching what I was watching because I can't mentally be there because I know that's exactly where we left off.

[Alessandra]

You will one day. You'll be able to reclaim those shows. But I'm like so much of your

[Lindsay Chrisley]

life, obviously I can't wait to just get back into a routine because there's been nothing about and collectively for all of us over the last was six weeks, there's been nothing normal or routine about what we've been doing. It's been from. For me, it was from Dallas to home, from home to Delaware, from Delaware to y' all being in Atlanta, from that to court, from that straight to New York and then home.

[Alessandra]

It's too much.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And, like, there's no time to process. You can't process in an environment like, what we've been doing.

[MacKenzie]

I'm worried about you. Like, I can see it. It's wearing on you. Like, a distraction is good to a point, but it's wearing on you. Like, you need to. To recenter.

[Alessandra]

Like, the DND is, like, so serious.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

But, like, that's.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

DND is so downplaying where I'm at.

[Alessandra]

I know.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, that's not even. It's not dnd. It is literally, to Alessandra's point, like, she is worried about me.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Because you. This is not an environment to be able to operate. Processing feelings, to operate, trying to pick up your life from wherever you left off and try to create something new. Like, none of this is an environment that will allow for that up. And, like, I'm not even kidding, y'.

[Alessandra]

All.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I briefly, the first couple of days after this situation happened, I thought about, like, deleting all of my social media. I thought about quitting the podcasts. I thought about putting my house up for sale. I thought about moving to South Carolina. I've thought about some of the craziest things that aren't even in the realm of reality, but it, like, made me feel like I was in control of

[Alessandra]

something that makes sense.

[MacKenzie]

And also, that's your coping mechanism. Like, your coping mechanism is to run to some degree, right?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, yeah, I'm gonna run to have control, but I'm a runner of all things. It's like, I don't. And it's not that I don't ever want to face something that's not what it is. It's. I don't want to face it right now until I am ready to face it. So I'm gonna run from it until I feel comfortable enough to be in a state that I can face it.

[MacKenzie]

I also do want to acknowledge, though, that's why I'm proud of you for facing and doing everything you've been doing in court and being so open and honest publicly, because both are not easy.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But I also feel like it should be said that I was discouraged to have any conversations about anything publicly. And at the end of the day, it's my story and people who involve themselves in my life. You know what the platform is, right? Like, you don't get to come into my life. Know that information. Know that I am sharing my story to audiences every single week on podcasts two times a week, sometimes three times a week based off of the week and try to gaslight me into not having an open conversation about it. When you put yourself in a position to allow something to be public and benefit from it.

[Alessandra]

And benefit from it. Like, I'm sorry, but you know who you're in a relationship with. You have you love the pros, deal with the cons. You know what you're signing up for. You talk about it in your podcast. Beyonce was talking about Jay Z and the cheating and all that stuff and albums too. You know what I mean? Like you know what you sign up for and too bad.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And it's like you weren't upset when I was singing your praises and posting happy pictures of us and posting reels and going on lavish vacations and doing all of this stuff. There was no complaint then. But then when I want to open up about real life stuff that has transpired to be discouraged and you know, to make statements of oh, if you publicly do this, it's going to set us back here. Well, if it sets us back, it sets us us back. Because you know exactly what you signed up for when you did it.

[Alessandra]

100%.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

And like I'm also going to call out the US Weekly article that came out regarding a custody situation that does not belong to me. The people that that article was written about are not public figures. No lately and what really upsets me is when I'm I am told you did that. No I didn't. I would have never had access to anything saying child custody documents are sealed from the general public. So if anybody wants to come this direction and say that I personally did that, I had nothing to do with that whatsoever. It had to have been one of the parties that were involved in that, I guess litigation regarding custody or an

[Alessandra]

access to the information and access to

[Lindsay Chrisley]

the information or a party that had access to that information because that is never information that I ever never knew about, never saw, would not have a reason to have access to it. And no, regarding that US Weekly article, those were not my high heels. That was a different relationship. Not only did I not know about any of the information that was published in that article, had I known some of that information, I would have never condoned some of that behavior that has been alleged. And those were not my high heels that were referenced in that article. This man, I don't know how many girlfriends he could have had I don't know how many years that information could have spanned from. It seemed to me, based off of the way that I read it, and y' all can correct me if I'm wrong, that that was a filing that was regarding a culmination of events that had transpired over a period of years.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, yeah. Correct.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so that had nothing, literally nothing to do with me other than. And this sounds so callous what I'm about to say, but it had nothing to do with me other than my name.

[Alessandra]

Correct.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

They would have never been in an Us Weekly magazine article, and no one would have ever, in their realm of the world, would have ever had access to get to somebody at Us Weekly to give them that information unless it was associated with my name, which was all over the place at that time. I do not condone that whatsoever. And I do not respect when people and outlets do stuff like that, because you are now also associating my public image with something that is being privately done with people that I don't know. And the fact that that article, what was published, was regarding a minor child. And I don't condone that either.

[MacKenzie]

There's no.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Is sick.

[Alessandra]

It is sick. Where are your morals?

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

But for people to come after me, it's completely.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And say privately say to me, oh, you talked about me here, you talked about me there. Don't communicate with me if you don't want to be talked about. Number one, don't do something to me. Number two, don't communicate with me.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Number three, don't sign up for me. I just feel like it's really disheartening for me to be blamed for certain stuff that I have. Have. I need to take zero accountability for. And I am at a place with my own self that I know I don't need to be taking accountability for those things. And do not go out there and say, I do not want X, Y, and Z in the public. But you're putting it in the public.

[Alessandra]

Yep.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You're doing it yourself. And I'm talking to all parties involved.

[MacKenzie]

Dating a public figure.

[Alessandra]

You're dating. Yeah. You're dating somebody in the public eye. What do you think is going to happen? I'm just going to be. My lips are sealed. Sorry, guys.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, no, please.

[MacKenzie]

And if you want that, don't take pictures, don't appear in content. Don't shut the fuck up.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But it's not only the party that I was with.

[MacKenzie]

No, I know.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Don't be upset. And then use my name to gain access to Us Weekly. To have them run information that I would have never had knowledge of of, and then say, I don't want anything out there in the public.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

You are lying.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You're lying. You want stuff out there in the public that benefits you. 100 by using my name to perpetuate whatever narrative that you want to put out there that's sick, that is mentally ill. And to use a traumatic time of my life to do that, literally, y' all have nothing to do with me at this point. So, like, what are you doing more to come on this? I know that you had posted a questions box.

[Alessandra]

Yes.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So I wanted to get through a couple of those, but I was spying on the questions box. And one of the questions was, am I still going to run the part one and two of what I filmed with Kale in Delaware regarding my relationship? And I do plan to air that. We're just trying to figure out proper timing to do those air dates because they're gonna have to air back to back for it to make sense. And so part one will air on the Southern tea on a Wednesday. Part two would air on coffee combos on a Thursday. And then also, you guys are probably gonna have to go back and listen to this to make it all cohesively make sense. But I'm also trying to be authentic and somewhat feels like real time of, like, this is where I'm emotionally at. And I no longer can get on a podcast and pretend like I'm not a disassociated person. I no longer can get on a podcast and act like nothing's going on and sit and talk about pressure washing for an hour and nurturing a possum. Like, I cannot do that anymore.

[Alessandra]

No, it's not authentic to you.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's not authentic to me. And I have to get to a place with my own self that I can authentically be me regardless of what happens.

[MacKenzie]

Exactly.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so. So, yes, the answer to that question is, yes, those are going to air. We do not have air dates on those. As soon as this recording is over, we are probably all three in this room, me, Madison, and Alessandra, are going to completely disassociate. As if I'm not disassociated enough. And then we will probably look at a calendar and pick out dates of

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

we'll get back to.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Realistically, that would happen.

[Alessandra]

What has been the hardest part of co parenting? I'm in the trenches.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm not in a hard season of co parenting. So it's hard to say, like, when you're not actively Navigating that. I think the hardest part of co parenting in general was just us logistically figuring out how to not be a family of three and living in two separate homes. But we still are so intertwined. And, and I think my story, everybody's story is very different. But I think my story with co parenting, because Will and I have been able to maintain such a friendship, it's not realistic to a lot of people. And so I don't want to give somebody advice based off of my experience because a lot of people don't experience what I've experienced from things that I've heard from other people. Right now the hardest part of co parenting has been having an ex husband be concerned if I'm okay. And I think that has not made the co parenting hard. That has taken the fun out of the experience of being able to be happy. People coexisting, raising a child.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. But it really shows where you're at with him that he is giving you that grace because people online are, oh my God, how, how is he feeling? Like he's gonna be there.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

We're fine.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, exactly. Like y' all don't need to worry about that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And like the inner workings of, and I will just frankly say this because at this point I don't care. The inner workings of my co parenting relationship with Will or any type of relationship with Will is not really up for discussion because there are things that I am so heavily navigating that he is a part of that. Like nobody say about that man and nobody say about me.

[Alessandra]

I think we're good on just one more. You want to do one more? Okay. We'll end it off on one last light one. Cuz summer's coming up. Any summer plans vacay or stay? K. Okay, so just ending it off on a light note here.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Actually, as part of my disassociation, I believe it was last night I, that I said, but at this point, like every day is running into the next day. So I don't know when it was on this trip, but I walked into Kale's room before I, I think it was last night before I went to bed. And I said, I don't know where you're going to be, but I'm going on a seven day beach vacation. Like I don't know what beach that's going to be at. I don't know if it's a condo, if it's a house, if it's a joint family vacation, if, if friends are going to be there, if it's Just going to be me and Jackson. It could be great. Wolf Lodge, like I literally don't know. But I will be going somewhere away from home for seven days sometime in the foreseeable future. And I just need to. Sometimes I think when you. Your environment can become so comfortable to you. But if you've ever experienced trauma within your environment, you need to get away from it. 100 and so normally I would not be a person to say, hey, while you're going through something heavy like try to remove yourself from your environment. But as my ex husband says, touch grass, kids, touch grass, touch sand, touch some type of land.

[Alessandra]

Nature is healing.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Nature is healing. Water is healing. And I could really afford to to sleep until noon in a bed that does not belong to me as you deserve. And I'm pretty sure while we're being light hearted about touching grass Fast and Furious. Fast and Furious is evidently filming outside on the street. The streets in the financial district of New York City.

[Alessandra]

We're in the Lower east side. But yes.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh well, we're in the Lower east side. I said the Upper east side on another episode. So I'm basically a liar. I don't know what's going on. But if I find the movie eventually, whenever it comes out. And I know that I was trying to film a serious podcast with me and my friends, and my friends being y', all, they were doing this in the background. I'm finding production like we are sending.

[Alessandra]

We're gonna be sending them.

[MacKenzie]

I'm about to go on the street and find them now.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. It's like, what are you guys doing?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I will not let them rest. So this will be the last episode that is filmed here in the Polly Pocket apartment on the Mattel Barbie couch on the Lower east side.

[Podcast Host/Co-host]

On the Lower east side.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So thank you guys so much for tuning in and enjoying my trauma dump. I hope it's been more entertaining for you than it was for me. If you have not followed me on the Southern Tea podcast on Instagram, you can follow there and you can also join our Facebook group to connect with us in our community. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app. Wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast one. We hope that you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

[Alessandra]

See ya.

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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