← The Southern Tea
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- [00:00]
A
All right, y'. All. Owning a home is amazing until it's not. One minute you feel like you're sipping coffee, and the next you're ankle deep and water from a burst pipe. Repairs don't care about timing, and they definitely do not care about your budget. Regular homeowners insurance usually does not cover a lot of the day to day wear and tear. So we're talking plumbing failures, H VAC breakdowns, electrical issues. You're often on your own for those. But that's where Homeserve comes in. It is like a subscription for your home for as little as 4.9amonth, and they've got your back. Repairs hit fast and hard. You could be searching for a contractor in a panic. And I have definitely been there before. So Homeserve actually has a 24. 7 hotline where you can do scheduled repairs. And it's so simple. You just choose a plan for your needs and budget. And when something on your plan goes wrong, you just call their 24.7hotline to start their repair process. They have helped homeowners like you for over 20 years with a trusted national network of 2600 local contractors. Plans start at just 499amonth. Go to homeserve.com to find the plan that's right for you. That's homeserve.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between 4.99-1199amonth. Your first year terms apply on covered repairs. Maybe I'm just like, weird. Maybe I'm crunchy. This is the Southern Tea with Lindsey Chrisley. I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. I don't love them. A southern girl and a boy mom who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots. I am a functioning, non functioning human being right now. Join Lindsay each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea, and nothing but the tea. That is the tea. Here's Lindsay. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea. Hello, Becky.
- [01:59]
B
It is good to be here. Hello, Lindsay Chrisley.
- [02:02]
A
Cheers. Thanks, babe. I went and had my hair done, so basically everybody in my life is new people.
- [02:11]
B
Okay.
- [02:12]
A
Like, I have a whole new hair girl.
- [02:15]
B
Okay.
- [02:16]
A
Like, everything in my life has just been overhauled. You know, like, when you start cleaning out, you just, like, clear out. Right? Okay. Yeah. The reason that I look different, though, is because my eyebrows look scary as fuck, because I just went and had them tinted and, like, I can't see anybody for an entire business day while I'm doing this.
- [02:38]
B
I kind of, like, am digging the darker vibe of the eyebrows.
- [02:43]
A
What do you mean? It looks.
- [02:44]
B
I think it looks good, Becky. It probably looks a little darker in person, but, like, virtually like this. It looks good.
- [02:53]
A
Well, thanks. Can you tell me what you've been up to? Like, what's been going on?
- [02:57]
B
Well, first of all, thanks for welcoming me to your podcast. This is the first time we've done a. So, like, just one on one together, so y' all aren't for a treat. I don't know. Are. Are your listeners, like, the same as listeners all around? Are there new people here? Like, do people know who I am? Are they gonna be like, who the is? Becky, can I curse on this podcast?
- [03:20]
A
Yeah, you can. You can say whatever you want to on this podcast. It's a free for all. But let me tell you what happened last week. So last week, I had Kayla step in to co host with me, and apparently people were, like, dogging her out, saying horrible stuff. They were like, who's Kayla? Blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, if you follow the podcast in the way that I feel like the podcast should be followed, it's like everybody, like, listens to everybody's stuff. You know what I mean? Who she is? But I genuinely think that, like, there are some people who listen to karma and chaos that are, like, different than coffee combos, different than Southern Tea. Like, I think that y' all have probably a lot of people from, like, Teen mom that maybe followed, like, y' all together from there that probably aren't listening to Southern Tea. And then I probably have people that came over who watched me on Chrisley.
- [04:16]
B
Knows Best, so there's new people, so. Hi, everyone. I'm. If my voice sounds a little weird, I woke up a little sticky this morning. And so, first and foremost, don't dog me because I'm sensitive and you'll make me cry. So if you guys have negative things to say about me, if you don't mind, keep them to yourself. He's probably gonna be mean enough to me in this episode already, so.
- [04:41]
A
Have you heard of the Internet, Becky?
- [04:44]
B
Okay, surprisingly, people are pretty nice to me. They're mean to Kale, and they're pretty. Like, I'd say 95 of people are nice to me.
- [04:55]
A
I. I just love that for you. I don't know who couldn't be nice to you, though. Like, honestly, it's just the vibes that you bring, you know, are just so sure. Immaculate. Wait, Can I just ask you a quick question? Did you see what happened to me with Allison Cooch?
- [05:15]
B
No, I don't even know who that is.
- [05:17]
A
Yes, you do. I feel like you follow her.
- [05:19]
B
Oh. Oh, my God. Wait. Yes, I did see what happened to you. And I put it in my podcast notes to talk to Kael about it on Karma and Chaos. So first, I'm Becky. I do a podcast with Kale. Karma and Chaos. I have my own podcast for the haters, too. Me and Lindsay love each other beyond belief, so I'm so. I'm just so happy to be there. And I did see that, and I was so sad, and I was like. But I was going to text you or call you about it, but then I saw you were already in the comments. Comments. And I was like, man, she's getting dragged for no reason.
- [05:50]
A
I'm like, what is happening? So I talked about it on here, like, two weeks ago, I think, and it was literally right after it first happened. And so, like, mind you, just to give you a little backstory, because we haven't caught up, went to Mexico, went on just, like, a rendezvous that ended up not being a rendezvous, and then come back and immediately have Covid, a, UTI and a kidney infection. So I'm like, oh, great. Like, I am laid out. So on three different medications, I've also taken NyQuil at this point, zonked out. David's laying on the bed. He's still awake. He's watching tv, and he sees my phone lighting up. And it's like multiple people trying to get in contact with me. Kill being one of them. And she's like, what the fuck is this? Like, you didn't do this. Like, why is your picture on, like, this thing as a troll? And I'm like, whoa, whoa. And mind you, I'm on nyquil, like, the. The night one, right? Yeah. So I'm. I feel like I'm three sheets to the wind, drunk on these meds, and I couldn't make it make sense. I'm like, wait, so is it saying. And Kale's probably getting so frustrated. I was like, wait, is it saying that I said something to that girl? Who's that girl? And I'm like, that's not even how I talk. That's not, like, how I would respond. Like, I don't really even respond to dms or, like, send stuff to people. I like, hard it, you know, like, on their story and then move on. And so I'm like, now this girl is dogging me out for my Bad nose job. And I didn't even do this. This is a troll using my picture.
- [07:31]
B
I saw it. I was like, I. I felt like my heart hurt. I felt. I was like, what can I do? Do I say something? But she didn't even take it down, right? Like, it's still up.
- [07:45]
A
Oh, no. Like, finally got a hold of her management team and stuff, and they immediately removed it off of Instagram. And then I guess it went over to TikTok, too. And I'm like, that's not even how I talk. If anybody listens to the podcast or anything like that, they would know that that wouldn't even be how I type. If they could envision me typing, they would know that I didn't type like that.
- [08:08]
B
Are you sure you didn't send that in your, like, coma of Michael?
- [08:12]
A
I swear on my whole life, it was like, some account. I forget what the name of it was. But by the time that she even had the opportunity to take the videos down, the account was, like, another influencer and a completely other name. So I'm like, who? So I go to that account, and I'm looking. I ask Allison. I'm like, hey, can you tell me what the account is? Because when you posted the thing, it didn't say the handle. So she sends me the information, and that account's following 26 people. And I made sure none of my friends were the victims. Like, the next victims in line.
- [08:48]
B
Should I. Should I do that to, like, like, you and Kayl and, like, make a coffee combos, one that is responding to people.
- [08:59]
A
Wait, let me tell you another one of my mishaps. So, of course, we have, like, inclement weather here this past week, and I am watching a fight, like, the other night, and I had no idea about any of the news of stuff that was going on in Minnesota, right? So I'm just, you know, I've been at the dinosaur exhibit all day, and then I come home, make dinner, and I'm just sitting, chilling with a white claw, and I type on my Instagram story, like, happy Ice Days. Happy ice days. 2026, I believe, is what I said. So I post and ghost and just, like, go away. Next morning, I wake up, and I'm just, like, scrolling through Instagram, and I see that Jordy Cray has sent me a thing. And he's like, did you mean that? And I was like, no. What are you talking about? And then, like, sends me the information about what's going on, and I'm like, absolutely. That is not my character. I would never fucking do that, you.
- [10:01]
B
Know, Bad timing on your part.
- [10:03]
A
It was really horrible timing. And I'm like, I'm just looking at the ice falling from the sky outside.
- [10:09]
B
And the rest of us are looking at ice killing people, so.
- [10:14]
A
Correct. Correct. So now I'm going to no longer be on Instagram. I'm gonna like, take a sabbatical. Is it a sabbatical or hiatus?
- [10:24]
B
Either or. Tomato. Tomato.
- [10:26]
A
Yeah, I'm going to do that for a little while because I truly traumatized my own self.
- [10:31]
B
Maybe you should like, do a bit with Alison. Like you guys should do, like do a bit together.
- [10:38]
A
Like we both got trolled and then like, I got trolled because of a troll.
- [10:43]
B
You got trolled because of a troll and then you set your. Like that. That was really poor timing on your part.
- [10:51]
A
Very, very bad timing.
- [10:53]
B
You talk about political stuff on this podcast?
- [10:55]
A
No, I mean, I don't really talk about political stuff, but I just feel like it was like, relevant for me to be currently talking about since I just put my foot in my mouth and was like, oh, like snow and ice days.
- [11:07]
B
Like, you know, I'm just, I'm really happy to be here with you. And I'm really happy to clear that up as well, because if I saw that, I would have been like, I would have called you and been like.
- [11:19]
A
Hey, yeah, why didn't you call me?
- [11:22]
B
I didn't see it. I'm like, I'm not spending my time. I'm a new mom.
- [11:26]
A
I know. Wait, so can you tell me, number one, like, how much you love being a mom?
- [11:33]
B
Okay, yeah, let's talk about this. First of all, everyone lies. The first couple months of motherhood is awful. Well, I guess I should put preface this. I was. I'm a homosexual.
- [11:47]
A
Becky, why did you have to say it like that?
- [11:50]
B
Well, cuz, like I didn't give birth to my son, so that's important. Like, I'm not a birthing parent. So I didn't go through the hormone change of birthing a child my wife carried. She carried my embryo. So Bex is our son. He is part me, part our donor, Matt, who's a beautiful human. And Leah carried Bex. So I fully expect. And I talked about this. I. I've talked about this prior. So if you already heard this and you're listening, sorry, but other people need to hear it. I went through like, I loved Bex in Leah's belly. I loved that child. So when he was born, I expected for that love to be there or love to grow. I had no connection to him. And because I expected to have a connection to him, my like world came like crashing down on me. And I was so sad and so upset and just so like my life was turned upside down. I had this stranger in my house. I lost my partner because she's going through what she's going through. And me and Leah have a beautiful relationship. We've been together for 10 years now. And so all of my identity pieces were just like blown up. I didn't. And I'm a loving. I love like I love with my full chest. I didn't love him. I didn't feel connected to him. And for the first like three months I was just like so sad because I didn't have those feelings. So. But four months came around. He started smiling at me and now that's like that's my little bestie. He's seven months old now, which is crazy.
- [13:29]
A
What do you think it was? Do you think it was because your whole world was changing or you didn't have the bond because you didn't carry him?
- [13:38]
B
I'm no. I think people go through this as a birthing parent or as a non birthing parent. I think that like very common for people to go through that lack of connection. If I had the expectations before of like allowing for whatever to happen, it would have been different. And so I was just like really sad. Like I was sad and just like angry and frustrated because like I then like my partner who was like my priority and I was hers, something else was now our priority and each other wasn't. So that was like really, really hard for me because the past nine years my identity was our relationship. Like our loving and like beautiful relationship. That was a large part of who I was and so that was being taken away from me. I didn't feel like mom, like I didn't feel like I had any. I could have just left. And every time yeah like it's been, you know, you bring an infant in and there's a lot of changes and they. And like Leah like was breastfeeding and so like I wasn't needed and the times that I could help was like during changing and like no infant likes to be changed. So like I wasn't bringing him any joy.
- [14:52]
A
Right.
- [14:53]
B
It was all just like a lot to deal with.
- [14:57]
A
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- [16:58]
B
Yeah, I think I blacked out the first. Like I couldn't tell you what we did. Like I'm just like I've like disassociated like so much and even that like it's not like things are like perfect, right? Like I still don't have that relationship with Leah that I once had and will it ever be the same? I don't know. But like we go through now like the sleep regressions and the new schedule. I have no ownership of my life anymore. Like I can't find time to go to the gym because like I don't want to put the burden of him on anyone else in times that I should be with him, you know?
- [17:37]
A
I know. I do think it's probably pretty common for. I'm sure it's common for birthing parents too. But the non birthing parent, Will definitely. When we had Jackson experience that, and I experienced the disconnect from him as well. Like, I was always bonded to Jackson from the moment that I found out that I was pregnant. The bond grew even stronger when I held him for the first time. And that became my main priority. And it's very easy to get lost in that when your whole priority shifts change. Because my entire priority was Will until Jackson was born.
- [18:19]
B
Yeah.
- [18:20]
A
And so, like, I was neglecting that marriage. Mm. I was neglecting his feelings. And it's. I feel like it's gotta be pretty common if you experienced it and we experienced it a hundred percent.
- [18:34]
B
It is common because I spoke when I first opened up about this, a lot of people reached out about how it helped them be a little bit more gentle with their husbands. Because a lot of men don't. Aren't able to, like, articulate their feelings and like, they don't. Like, they just deal with what is being had. Right. Like, they don't talk about the struggles that they're going through. But it's hard because as the birthing parent, you're also going through all these hormonal changes. You're going through, like, body changes. You're like, you're giving life to, like, another human. There's a lot. So the expectations. It's hard to expect a lot from someone going through that. But then, like, the flip side is, like, you have to be able to be a little gentler with expectations. Like, you can't expect your partner to love your kid as much as you. Especially as, like, if you as the birthing parent are in that moment, like, obsessed with your kid too.
- [19:33]
A
So do you feel like when he was born, like, the. You had love for him, but it wasn't unconditional?
- [19:42]
B
For sure. Like, I could have. Like, I could have. He could have. Someone could have taken him and like, I probably could have moved on with my life. Like, it wouldn't have disrupted my life. Right. Like, now is like, so much different. Like, I. Like, I miss him when I'm not around him. Like, I didn't miss him in the beginning. Like, when I would leave or go and do something. I didn't miss him.
- [20:05]
A
I couldn't imagine the grieving that you were possibly going through knowing that, like, everything that you ever hear is like, when you have a child, it's just like unconditional love.
- [20:15]
B
And it was opposite of that, the complete opposite. That's like, if. If we ever have the privilege of having another child, like, my expectations Going into that are going to be so much different. And I think that those beginning months will be so much easier because I know that whatever comes from it is going to be okay. Like whatever it is, whatever the situation is, is okay. Like there's nothing wrong with me.
- [20:41]
A
Wait, do you think that Bex looks just like you?
- [20:44]
B
So it's so funny because, like every month is different, especially like in the beginning. But all of his baby, all of his pictures look like my baby pictures. But he looks like Matt as an adult. But like Matt as a baby, he doesn't look. They don't look similar. So I like for those that are listening, we went through a private donor matching company called Seed Scout. Most beautiful process that we experienced through the whole family building. So we interviewed people to pick our donor and like it had. It was like a mutual match. Like you. They had to pick you as well. And then we've built a relationship with him. Like, we've met, like hung out with him in person. He's. He's gay, he's married his to his husband Justin. And he's the most beautiful person on the inside. Like, and physically beautiful as well. But yeah. So Matt, we have like a really great relationship with Bex also. Matt donated to three families, so us and two other families. And one of the other families just had their first child. So Bex has a donor sibling.
- [21:55]
A
Wait, so have you seen like pictures of the baby or anything?
- [21:58]
B
Yeah.
- [21:59]
A
Does it look anything like Bex?
- [22:01]
B
No, she looks like it's a girl. She looks like one of like the mother, the biological mother. Because they also did reciprocal ivf. Yeah, it's wild. It's. It's like crazy to conceptualize because I have half siblings who like, I look at as full siblings. And so the fact that like Bex has siblings out there, a sibling that's just as much blood related as me and my oldest sister. But they'll know each other well. They'll always know about each other and have a relationship and as much as they want.
- [22:32]
A
That's so cool. So did Matt meet Bex right after he was born or did Matt came.
- [22:39]
B
He was like a month and a half, maybe two months. And then we're planning another visit and then I'm hoping to actually go on like family. They have a lake house and we're to like, meet his family so that Bex can meet his side of the family too.
- [22:55]
A
That's just so cool.
- [22:57]
B
Yeah, it's beautiful. It's really recreating just the experience of family building. Right. Like for so long, like, queer people really tried to fit into this, the mold of what family looked like for everyone else. And like, we're, we're like, deciding that it's okay for family to look different and like, family building to look different in our own way. And like, how beautiful is it that Bex gets so many people that are gonna love him, right? Like, it's. It's really cool for us to like, have. And have so many people that are going to love him and continue to love him.
- [23:34]
A
So is his relationship with Leah. For anybody who's listening, who doesn't know who Leah is, that's Becky's wife. Is his relationship with her a lot different than his relationship with you, Matt, or Bex? Bex.
- [23:51]
B
So yes and no. I. I still think, like, he definitely. I'm like a silly, goofy gal, you know, Like, I like, am the doing weird and fun things with him, but I guess so is Leah. Leah was afraid of having that surrogate feeling. Like, when she gave birth, she was nervous that, like, she wasn't going to feel connected to him because, like, he wasn't biologically hers. But she didn't. So, like, she loved him and, like, felt that, like, protective nature over him, like, automatically. And she. I would argue that she probably loves him more than I do even still. Like, I think my love for him is still growing. And like, as he gets older, I can still. I can like, feel in moments of like, you know, when he's laughing at me and if I'm doing something funny, I can feel that bond, like, growing with him. With Leah, it's like she, she flip.
- [24:44]
A
Switched right away for her, which is like, instinctively there. Yeah, I used to talk about all the time. Like, I mean, it's just like, stupid stuff that you talk about. But I'm like, well, when I'm done having kids, like, if I don't have a job, I could be a surrogate for somebody. And it's like, no, I couldn't. Like, no, I couldn't because I would instinctively be bonded to that child and I would be on a Lifetime movie.
- [25:12]
B
Well, I don't know if you. Surrogacy laws are actually pretty crazy. Like, there's certain states where, like, you can't be a surrogate because if. And in other states where it is legal to be a surrogate, you can't travel to those states because if you give birth in certain states, you can decide to not give them that child. What? Oh, yeah. So, like, Leah, I have to adopt Bex legally, right? Because Leah has, like, Even though he's my biological child, because Leah has birthrights to him. But there's states. If, like, I was a surrogate and I went. I don't know what states that, like, they are, but, yeah, surrogacy laws are wild and, like, scary.
- [26:02]
A
Could you imagine, like, me just being a surrogate for somebody?
- [26:06]
B
I honestly, like, could. But, like, also after, like, Leah also thought she would, like, mentally, and then after giving birth, she was like, I don't think I could do that. Just.
- [26:16]
A
Yeah, but. But I mean, I wonder how many times that somebody signed up to, like, be a surrogate. I don't even know if, like, sign up is the right word, but, like.
- [26:26]
B
It'S a pretty rigorous process. You have to go through a lot.
- [26:28]
A
Of, like, testing and stuff, but go through that process. I mean, there would have to be some type of, like, psychological testing involved. Right? Because we know I would not pass that.
- [26:41]
B
I mean, I wasn't gonna say it, but. And there is. We also had to go through, like, using a known donor. You also have to go through psych, like counsel counseling, lawyers testing, genetic counseling, genetic testing.
- [27:00]
A
It just makes me feel like the process that y' all went through, you were so much more prepared to become parents than a lot of people.
- [27:07]
B
I mean, it's very. It's your. We built our family with such intent. Right. Like, there was. And money. Right. It's not cheap to. It's especially not cheap on the surrogacy side. If you are using a surrogate, you're going to spend at minimum 150k to. To build a family. For us, it's a little bit. It's a little bit less. Well, quite a bit less expensive, but luckily mine was covered. But you're going to spend, you know, 30, $50,000 to go through that process. At least if you're. If you're doing ivf. Sometimes people choose to do IUI first.
- [27:44]
A
Yeah, I've heard of a lot of people going through the IUI process and then the IVF process, which makes sense because it's similar but different. Right.
- [27:53]
B
Their IUI is just like, when they inject sperm into yours. But it's like, the thing is that IUI is like, a 10 success rate. So it's really. Yeah. So there's a lot of, like, talk around, like, why they. Because from a league or insurance standpoint, insurance makes you go through IUI first before you go through ivf. That's why a lot of people do iui, because it's cheaper, like, a cheaper medical process to Do. So like you have to do like six failed cycles of IUI before you can get to ivf. And IVF is where they take your eggs out, make them embryos, then put them back in.
- [28:34]
A
So I know somebody who went through.
- [28:37]
B
Multiple rounds of it's emotional roller coaster iui. Because you did it, right? What?
- [28:45]
A
You did it.
- [28:46]
B
No, no, no. We went right to ivf. We. Because we did reciprocal IVF and.
- [28:52]
A
But you've done transfers like already, right?
- [28:54]
B
Yeah, I have. Yeah. I had a failed transfer. So Lee and I transferred the same day, which would we like intending to be pregnant at the same time, which would have been batshit crazy. But my transfer didn't work. Leah's did. I did a second transfer, I got pregnant, I had a miscarriage and now I think I'm good.
- [29:13]
A
You think you're just not gonna do it anymore?
- [29:15]
B
Yeah, I think I'm good.
- [29:17]
A
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- [30:25]
B
Do you want more kids?
- [30:27]
A
I mean in an ideal like life situation, if everything was perfect and I could pick like all the parameters around myself, which is not realistic, then yes.
- [30:39]
B
But you make some pretty bad like weird life decisions too. Yeah, yeah.
- [30:47]
A
Yeah. Questionable ones. You know what I mean? So it's like, do I really need to be doing that? Absolutely not. Like if I was gonna do, if I had to do it all over again, I think I would have just stayed with my ex husband longer and then just had a second one and then got divorced. But then like that's diabolical too, you know what I mean? Because it's like you're bringing it in that we're out.
- [31:10]
B
Is he in a relationship?
- [31:12]
A
No.
- [31:12]
B
So just ask him for some sperm. You can do some iui. How do you go about that, this asking for sperm? Yeah, I call him. I don't know.
- [31:27]
A
I know, but is it, Is it like asking to have sex with somebody?
- [31:31]
B
Like, is that you ask them. You would. They would have to go through it to a clinic there. It's a, it's expensive, too. It's a process. You have to bring them to a clinic, their sperm has to be tested, and then you, like, go through that.
- [31:47]
A
If I was going to do all of that, then I would just have sex.
- [31:52]
B
You know, that's the luxury of being straight. Like, one of the few way.
- [32:01]
A
Becky, did you know, did you know that I thought scissoring was fake?
- [32:10]
B
Did you know that some lesbians also think it's fake?
- [32:14]
A
Oh, wait, that's a thing?
- [32:15]
B
Yeah.
- [32:16]
A
Is it just because they don't know what it is? So they don't know how to do it?
- [32:19]
B
Yeah, I think that maybe they just, like, never try. It's not fake. It is 100 something that is real. I don't, I don't watch porn, but I, I, I don't think that also porn portrays it the right way.
- [32:33]
A
How does porn portray it?
- [32:34]
B
I don't know, but I don't think it's the right way. I don't want.
- [32:37]
A
Is it just, like. Is that scissoring? Like, like, what does that, like, look like?
- [32:44]
B
If you would have told me five years ago, three years ago, that I would be talking to you and trying to explain scissoring to you. Just, we're gonna be in person in a couple weeks from now. I'll, I'll walk you through it. I'm not gonna do it with you.
- [33:08]
A
Can we take a video of you doing it with, like, a doll?
- [33:12]
B
What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna make you and Kale demonstrate it. You can keep your clothes on, though.
- [33:20]
A
Kale is not signing up for this.
- [33:23]
B
Let me call her.
- [33:24]
A
Hold on.
- [33:25]
B
This is prime time for me to fucking set her up like she sets me up on the, on your podcast. I'm not even gonna FaceTime her. I'm just gonna call her.
- [33:36]
A
You said, like, she sets me up.
- [33:40]
B
Hello. Hey, quick, quick question for you. When I'm there next in, In a. Whenever, when Lindsay's there too, do you think that I could explain?
- [33:51]
A
She's coming the same time as you.
- [33:53]
B
Okay. No, it's a different time. We're both gonna be there. She do you think I can explain how to scissor and YouTube?
- [34:00]
A
You're.
- [34:00]
B
I'm recording with her. Can I use you two to explain how to scissor? Yes, sir.
- [34:07]
A
Yeah, she did agree she's gonna video this, Gail.
- [34:11]
B
Yeah, I'm aware. And right now, I'm not in a position to turn anything that could go viral down. So, yes, you could use me for literally anything at this point. I told her that you would be.
- [34:24]
A
On board everyone else's game.
- [34:27]
B
Amazing.
- [34:28]
A
Okay.
- [34:30]
B
Love you.
- [34:32]
A
I'm crying. She's like, my loss is everyone's gain.
- [34:38]
B
All right, so stay tuned, people.
- [34:41]
A
Moving on from that, I need to know. This is going to be a random segment. Please let me know the current icks that you have developed just as an adult. Like, not ones that you would have carried from childhood to now. Like, something new.
- [34:54]
B
An ick. Huh? What's yours?
- [35:01]
A
I've got a lot. Oh, My number one ick at this current moment is hearing teeth scrape on a fork or hearing, like, silverware on a. Not like a paper plate, but, you know, like a actual plate. I don't know if there's a X. What are they?
- [35:21]
B
I think that they're more like triggers, like X. I feel as if they are things that people do that, like, aren't normal. Like, those things are, like, common. It's not like it's like watching a guy skip or something. Like, it gives you the ick, you know?
- [35:38]
A
Have you ever seen that a man skip? Yeah.
- [35:44]
B
Yeah. Like, that doesn't give me an ick, but, like, you never seen, like, the tick tocks where it's like someone's taking a video of their husband or significant other, and it's like, new ick on lock. Then it's like, I don't know, a guy opening a jar. Like, the way that they open it.
- [36:01]
A
Okay, so would like, a man slurping his coffee out of a coffee combo's mug, Like. Yes. Is that a ick?
- [36:09]
B
Yes. Yes.
- [36:11]
A
Okay. That ick's unlocked as well.
- [36:15]
B
Okay. You know, I've really. In my adult life, I've really tried to allow others be happy in what they're doing, but.
- [36:27]
A
Yeah, but what if it's impeding on your happiness? You know, like, we're just sitting there on a casual Saturday morning, and everybody is just sitting around the table and someone slurping their coffee out of a coffee combo. Smug. Like, is that like.
- [36:42]
B
But that's triggering for me. Like, so someone eating and slurping and noises are triggering for me for sure.
- [36:50]
A
That is a Disease slurping? No, it's like a disease to, like, not, like the noise.
- [37:02]
B
Yeah, one would say it's maybe a little bit on the spectrum.
- [37:08]
A
Wait, did you ever watch Love on the Spectrum?
- [37:11]
B
Yeah.
- [37:14]
A
Do you know who I want to have on the podcast so bad?
- [37:17]
B
Tanner.
- [37:18]
A
Tanner.
- [37:19]
B
I knew you were gonna say it.
- [37:21]
A
How did you know?
- [37:22]
B
I am. I'm pretty much a mind reader.
- [37:25]
A
Do you feel like Tanner would be my best friend?
- [37:28]
B
You know, I feel like he would tell you things that you need to hear.
- [37:32]
A
Like what? Do you want to tell me things that I need to hear?
- [37:34]
B
No, no, I think I'm good.
- [37:37]
A
You're like, I just want everybody to be happy, but, like, I'm these things inside, literally.
- [37:42]
B
Abby would be a good guest too.
- [37:45]
A
Oh, Abby. Yeah. What's the one that makes the jewelry?
- [37:52]
B
Dana.
- [37:54]
A
Is that what her name is?
- [37:56]
B
I don't know.
- [37:56]
A
She makes the jewelry, and then she likes Disney World.
- [37:59]
B
You like Coke?
- [38:01]
A
Classic.
- [38:02]
B
Yeah. You drink, like. Like, you often drink Coke?
- [38:05]
A
No, I was just in a spiral honestly, this morning, and the Alani didn't do it. So then I went and got a London broil sandwich at Publix after I left my brow appointment and probably scared all the people at the, like, pub sub aisle. And I saw the Coke when I was checking out, and it was like, you know what? I really need that. Yeah.
- [38:26]
B
Interesting. Anyway, sorry. I didn't mean to. Oh, you know what? This would be a great. Do you still have your Bronco? Yeah, I have been on this kick that I want, like, a 1990 Bronco. What are your thoughts on that YouTube.
- [38:48]
A
90 Bronco, too. Like, I want to keep the current one that I have.
- [38:52]
B
You. You have a new one?
- [38:53]
A
I'm. I'm a boy like that. Like, this house could truly be a cart lot.
- [38:58]
B
Okay. You know what I mean? Should we get matching Broncos?
- [39:03]
A
Well, no, because they would be vintage. So it's, like, not matching. Like, vintage is not matching.
- [39:10]
B
No. Like, same year, same style. They definitely would be different colors.
- [39:14]
A
And, like, could you imagine, like, us just pulling up at Delaware to Kale's content house, and we just had matching broncos.
- [39:23]
B
We should find someone to rent when. When we go the rage. Dude, I can have nothing. Like, if I walk in to her presence, and she's like, what is that? I need that. The next time I see her, she has it. We would show up with broncos, and then the next time, she would have her own.
- [39:46]
A
But wait, we would show up with broncos that we rented that. She thought we bought that, we returned.
- [39:51]
B
It, and then she actually, we should show up with matching outfits and, like, have one for her, but, like, not tell her. She would be so sad.
- [40:02]
A
She would see us and she would be like, so did y' all just, like, become best friends and, like, I'm out.
- [40:06]
B
Yeah.
- [40:07]
A
Wait, Becky, can I tell you, when I was watching Yalls Instagram page for the podcast, and I saw y' all doing that stupid thing on that, like, projector tv, and it was like this. Please tell me, like, why I was, like, almost peeing my pants and farting at the same time.
- [40:28]
B
You talk like that on this podcast?
- [40:34]
A
I mean, I'm just being honest about what was happening. And I had to keep watching it because, like, I could not stop laughing at Kale and, like, the way that she was moving, like, I was fixated, like, on her finger movement.
- [40:53]
B
Well, have you tried it?
- [40:55]
A
No, I didn't even know what it is. Still, I watched the video probably no less than 50 times.
- [41:01]
B
We'll try it when we're together.
- [41:04]
A
I can't wait.
- [41:05]
B
She was so bad at it, and she was getting pissed that, like, we were. I was purposely picking harder ones her. Something you would do. You're pretty competitive, right?
- [41:17]
A
Yeah, yeah, I'm very competitive. I'm a very competitive girly. Okay, next things that instantly ruin your mood for no real reason. Mine's waking up.
- [41:35]
B
Why didn't you prep me with these? I would have come up with better answers being put on the spot.
- [41:41]
A
I didn't read them before now either.
- [41:43]
B
That's not true. I swear I didn't. What is something that ruins my mood when people don't answer my FaceTime call.
- [41:53]
A
Oh, well, what if they just can't it?
- [41:58]
B
That's their problem.
- [42:00]
A
So are you that selfish that you feel like they should just be on your schedule at all times?
- [42:06]
B
Yeah, I don't randomly face time call a lot of people, and I pro. I, like, don't anymore because of all the people that don't answer my random. I'm gonna start random face timing you.
- [42:19]
A
Okay, well, it's not like anybody's really gonna be around me. Like, maybe Will at ball games and Jackson at home, because that's the only people that are around me these days.
- [42:31]
B
Well, that's fine. And normally I'm, like, just FaceTiming someone to be like, hey, and then hang up. Just a little quick pop in.
- [42:39]
A
Hey. What do you mean? Like, you just say hey, and then they say hey, and then you hang up?
- [42:44]
B
Yep.
- [42:45]
A
Sometimes, like a scam that I'm not going to be involved in.
- [42:48]
B
Yeah. Well, I think you should.
- [42:52]
A
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- [44:22]
B
Do you remember? Can I. Or do you have another question?
- [44:27]
A
No, I mean, we can just move on, but I do have other questions.
- [44:30]
B
Okay, go ahead. I was just gonna ask about the limo.
- [44:34]
A
Oh, wait, yeah, we'll. We'll bounce back to that in a second. Do you like high school reunions or no?
- [44:40]
B
Yes.
- [44:41]
A
Why?
- [44:43]
B
I. I'm from a small high school. I was a star athlete in high school. I have a good life going for me.
- [44:51]
A
What better place. You're that type that you're like, what.
- [44:55]
B
Better place to be than at a high school reunion?
- [44:59]
A
I think high school reunions are so insane. It's almost like it's giving. You know how people send out like family Christmas cards and it's like all their like family accomplishments on the back. High school reunions are giving that.
- [45:15]
B
I could see that. But like, I only had 100 kids in my high school class, so I.
- [45:20]
A
Only graduated with 39, but I'm still not going to.
- [45:24]
B
You went to a high school with 39? Were you in a private school? Yeah, of course.
- [45:30]
A
That was very judgy. Of course.
- [45:35]
B
Was it like a. A Christian Catholic school?
- [45:38]
A
Yeah, it was a private Christian school with 39 kids.
- [45:43]
B
Was it just girls or was it coed?
- [45:45]
A
No, it was coed.
- [45:46]
B
39 kids. You could probably look them all up on Google and you know what they're doing.
- [45:51]
A
Oh, 1,000%. And plus, I have one friend from high school that, like, tells me everything that's, like, been going on in everybody's life since, like, 2008 when we left in May. You know what I mean? It's like, there's always those people from.
- [46:05]
B
High school, but it's also not. It's not only, like, a selfish thing. It's like, I'm really proud to see the people I were friends with in high school to be, like, happy in their lives now. Because I'm from a small town. I'm not from the south, but, like, small. Like, it. It brings me joy to see people get out of the small town and build lives and careers out, you know, elsewhere.
- [46:28]
A
So I don't know, but I think some people go to it for the wrong reason. Like, I understand what you're saying, and that makes sense to me, like, why you would want to go. But I think that a lot of people have this mentality that they specifically want to go to a high school reunion to, like, flex on everybody that they think they're doing better than.
- [46:47]
B
True. I just feel like I'm in, like a. I feel like every. I don't know, you know, you know, more successful people. Like, you have people in your life and around you that, like, have these huge accolades. I feel like for me, all the. All the people that I want to see are just like, you know, they found success in a. I don't know, they have good families and good careers. Not in, like, multi millionaire ways.
- [47:19]
A
Yeah, like, I get it now. I'm probably gonna go to my next high school reunion. How long would that be away? How often do they have these things?
- [47:27]
B
Wait, your 10 year or your 20 year reunion is coming up next year. You graduated 2007, right?
- [47:35]
A
No, I graduated in 08.
- [47:37]
B
Oh, you were the same age.
- [47:39]
A
Yeah.
- [47:40]
B
Oh, yeah. So ours are. Let's you. Do you want to go to each other?
- [47:45]
A
Could you imagine, like, we show up to each other's high school reunion, like, dressed the same.
- [47:51]
B
They'd be like, what the hell is Lindsay Chrisley doing bringing a lesbian?
- [47:58]
A
It's giving mean girls. It's giving Janice, you know?
- [48:02]
B
Yeah, I do know what you mean. I feel like maybe we should just do it. And our 20 year reunion is coming up in two years.
- [48:10]
A
Isn't that crazy to think that we've been out of high school for almost 20 years.
- [48:15]
B
It's insane.
- [48:16]
A
Like, what have we done with our.
- [48:17]
B
Lives other than, like, I'm still a child, you know?
- [48:21]
A
Yeah. I still feel like I'm a child, but, like, I'm not allowed to be. You know what I mean?
- [48:25]
B
Yeah. Did you enjoy high school?
- [48:27]
A
I did. I really thoroughly enjoyed it. Like, I liked the small group of people. I actually went to public high school in ninth grade, and there were, I believe, close to a thousand kids and ninth grade class. It was huge. And then my parents were like, yeah, no, I don't think this is what we're going to be doing. So, of course, we went to private Christian school and went from almost a thousand kids in my class to 39. So that was an adjustment in itself. But once I adjusted, I feel like I loved it because we did all the same stuff with the same people all the time. There was only so many people to choose from. You know what I mean?
- [49:07]
B
For sure. Yeah. I love growing up in, like, a small high school.
- [49:12]
A
You loved it?
- [49:13]
B
Yeah.
- [49:14]
A
Wait, tell me about the limo. Like, what's wrong with the limo?
- [49:18]
B
No, I just wanted. Like, we probably have told this story a million times, but not us together. Can you. Let's just set the scene for the people. So Kale, Lindsay, and I, we went to la. Quick trip for the reality TV show awards or something. We go there, we walk the red carpet and all. Like, we're going to walk the red carpet and all the things. Lindsay and Kale are getting dressed by people and getting ready, and I'm just sitting there relaxing, trying to bring the vibes up. Me and Lindsey are having a couple cocktails, and we walk outside to get taken to the show, and a limo pulls up. Kale loses her shit. She's like, I'm not getting in that limo. I. That's so embarrassing. Who ordered this? Who did this to us? Who did this to me? I'm not getting in that limo. And Lindsay and I are like, like, let's just get in the limo. Like, what do you mean?
- [50:23]
A
Like, what's wrong with the limo?
- [50:25]
B
What's wrong with it? So finally, we, like, calm her down, and we get into the limo. Linden and I are sitting together. We're, like, drinking, singing. You pan over to Kale, like, she has the biggest sour puss face on her. Like, she's just sitting there miserable. Like, on the other side of the limo, they are just screaming, having so much fun.
- [50:53]
A
Singing Pastor Troy.
- [50:55]
B
Yes.
- [50:58]
A
Little John and The Eastside Boys.
- [51:00]
B
Exactly.
- [51:01]
A
Thank you.
- [51:03]
B
She was like, this was malicious intent. Someone did this on purpose. They know I hate limos.
- [51:10]
A
I hang out the top.
- [51:13]
B
Yeah. Yeah. It was so. That was such a fun trip for the three of us.
- [51:17]
A
Feels like you have to. We're walking two blocks.
- [51:20]
B
Yeah. Drop us off two blocks away.
- [51:23]
A
And I'm like, I'm the only one in heels. Y' all were in, like, combat boots.
- [51:29]
B
Yeah. That's so funny.
- [51:33]
A
Is that the craziest thing? Like, honestly, like, we've been places. Like, we've done things in life. You know what I mean?
- [51:40]
B
We have. We. You ordered, like, the whole menu of. What was that burger place?
- [51:48]
A
Oh, yeah. Did we go to In N Out Burger? No, we went to Shake Shack.
- [51:53]
B
Yeah. Maybe Shake Shack. Yeah, we just, like, giggled in bed.
- [51:58]
A
I know. And remember, people thought we were, like, doing weird activities.
- [52:03]
B
Yeah.
- [52:03]
A
We had that one video of us in the bed. We were just being girls. Like, girls. Girls were just girling on that trip. And I honestly cannot believe that you and Kale wore the outfits that you wore. Looking back on those pictures, y' all looked like a couple.
- [52:24]
B
No, we were looking like a couple.
- [52:27]
A
No, we weren't. I was wearing a ball gown, essentially. And you were wearing a tux, and Kale was wearing a tux.
- [52:34]
B
Okay, I was not wearing a tux. I was literally wearing the most, like, out of pocket thing for me to. I was wearing a see through shirt with a regular bra. That's the first time in wait years I've worn a regular bra. Wait, wait, wait.
- [52:49]
A
I was laughing really hard because Kale had on one of those, like, see through, like, I don't know, lace, oral lace, like, looking shirt. And I did that same look when I went to Kelsey Ballerini. Okay. And I'm going to show everybody the picture side by side of, like, my look versus Kale's look. And when I saw you say, what are you wearing? I took so much offense to it. But then I remembered I was like, wait a minute. Didn't Becky wear that same shirt to that awards?
- [53:29]
B
Yeah, I just wore. I didn't wear a T shirt over it. I didn't wear it for a. To record a podcast. I was so uncomfortable in that outfit. I think I looked all right. But.
- [53:40]
A
But wait, what is your, like, hang up on the ear and the lace shirt for the pocket?
- [53:47]
B
I think it was, like, the turtleneck part. I'm not like, a big turtleneck girly. I don't find it like that attractive.
- [53:55]
A
Girl. I have at least three Turtlenecks in my closet right now.
- [53:59]
B
All right, So I guess, like, it's just not gonna work out between us.
- [54:03]
A
So I just will never wear a turtleneck around you. Yeah. Wait, I have worn a turtleneck around you one time. I did. In Chattanooga. I wore a turtleneck around you.
- [54:17]
B
Yeah, it probably didn't do it for me.
- [54:19]
A
Well, I mean, I wasn't trying to. I'm just telling you I was wearing a turtleneck neck.
- [54:24]
B
Yeah. And again, I just. It's not my thing. Also, in Chattanooga, I smoked Lindsay in a shotgun.
- [54:34]
A
Yeah, you did. But why do you need to tell everybody about it and remind them.
- [54:37]
B
Re. Repeat the video, roll it back. Do you do replays on this?
- [54:44]
A
Well, we can do a replay. The shotgun was absolutely hilarious. Number one, you look like you did that for a part time job.
- [54:55]
B
I used to. I had the full college experience.
- [54:59]
A
I mean, I had the full college experience too. Actually. I was talking to some people the other day, and I. They said that they went to my same school, and I said, do you remember going to college parties and drinking, like, Jungle Juice or Hunch Punch out of a bathtub?
- [55:14]
B
Yeah.
- [55:16]
A
And they were like, yeah, I absolutely remember that. And I said, well, what were we ever thinking? Just, like, going into these random, like, frat guys houses and just getting a solo cup and dipping in.
- [55:27]
B
Literally. Literally. Where'd you go to school?
- [55:30]
A
I went to Georgia State in Atlanta.
- [55:32]
B
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, literally. Like, just wild.
- [55:37]
A
Were you in a sorority? No. Why'd you look at me like that?
- [55:43]
B
Because, like, what, you've known me for enough time.
- [55:47]
A
What?
- [55:49]
B
I dated a girl in a sorority.
- [55:53]
A
I could just see a side of you that would maybe join to just see, like, what it was about on the inside.
- [56:00]
B
I was a college athlete, so I didn't have to join a sorority.
- [56:04]
A
So what did you do?
- [56:05]
B
I played basketball and soccer.
- [56:08]
A
And then you dated sorority girls.
- [56:10]
B
My freshman year, I dated a fraternity boy.
- [56:13]
A
And.
- [56:15]
B
And I was like, an honorary fraternity member because of, like, how much I helped their pledge, pledge class get through pledging. So I, like, I was. I had free range of the frat house after that for the rest of my college.
- [56:28]
A
Yeah.
- [56:29]
B
And then sophomore year, I is when I started dating girls. And then I dated a girl in a sorority the rest of my college career.
- [56:39]
A
The Southern T Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things that people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full. Owning a home and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Did you like dating boys?
- [57:15]
B
You know, I didn't know any better at the time.
- [57:18]
A
So you just thought that was, like, the thing to do?
- [57:20]
B
Yeah. And that's what's important about representation. I didn't know any gay people or, like, realize that that was even really a thing until I went to college. So I dated boys, did my thing, and then the first time I dated a girl, it was like, holy. Like, these are the feelings that people talk about.
- [57:38]
A
Wait, so at what point did you leave the frat house and then decide you were gonna date somebody in the sorority house?
- [57:45]
B
It was my sophomore year. My sophomore year, I met my college girlfriend, and I had hooked up with a girl prior to that. And, like, I was like, oh, this isn't for. I. Very nice girl. Enjoyed it. But, like, was not for. I was like, I'm, like, definitely not gay. Then I met the girl I dated in. In college, and she. I was, like, known for, like, flirting with everyone. I don't. If you couldn't tell. Yeah. And I, like, flirted with her. She didn't flirt with me back. And I was like, huh, what is this? And why? Like, why am I doing it? And we ended up, like, hitting things off, and she was very attractive, so it really. It made it, like, easy for me to want to, like, flaunt her everywhere. That sounds bad. That's not what I was. Great girl. And, like, the feelings of just, like, the butterflies and the nervousness and the. Like, the. And, like, when we hooked up the first time, it was like, holy. Like, this is it. Like, these are the feelings. And I literally never hooked up with a guy after that.
- [58:56]
A
Wait, okay, can we go back to, like, the nervous feelings and the butterflies? Because I read something not too long ago that said that if you're looking for that, that could be a toxic trait. Like the butterfly. Yeah. That, like, you're.
- [59:15]
B
They.
- [59:15]
A
That sometimes, like, in life, you need to be looking for, like, more stable, consistent, and not, like, what makes your panties wet. You know what I mean?
- [59:26]
B
Yeah, for sure. But, like, that's, like, normal, like, healthy love can sometimes feel boring. But, like, in the beginning of a relationship, you're not in. Like, you're not automatically just, like, in love. It's like that lust of things. So that overwhelming Feeling of. I still would get that with Leah sometimes, though.
- [59:49]
A
I've only ever had two people in my life that I got butterflies ever.
- [59:55]
B
You what?
- [59:56]
A
I've only ever been with two people in my life that I got butterflies with.
- [60:01]
B
And, and are you or who. I don't. I'm not sure what the proper follow up questions are to that because, you know, if Leah walked in here right now and started making out with me, I'd probably get butterflies.
- [60:16]
A
Okay. I mean, I can just tell you that there's been two people in my life.
- [60:22]
B
But like, do you get butterflies from like being. So there's difference between like butterflies and anxious. Like, there's a difference between like good nervous and bad nervous. Like anxiety and nerves over like, oh, I wonder what they're doing.
- [60:37]
A
I've been with two people like that too.
- [60:39]
B
Yeah, that's not good. The butterflies come from like, oh, thinking about like kissing them or like doing whatever.
- [60:49]
A
Yeah.
- [60:49]
B
So you need to pursue butterflies is what I'm hearing. Why are you settling for anything other than butterflies?
- [60:57]
A
Why?
- [60:57]
B
And it's not consistent. You're not going to be having butterflies your entire relationship.
- [61:02]
A
They just like come and go. Is that what you're saying?
- [61:04]
B
Yeah, for sure it's that especially when you get longer into your relationship. Right. Like. Like you could go a year without having butterflies.
- [61:11]
A
But what if they never come?
- [61:13]
B
Then you're probably not with the right person.
- [61:17]
A
Because I. I don't want to give it away of like who these people were, but there was one person that I was with that just the thoughts of him possibly driving to my house in his truck made me have butterflies.
- [61:36]
B
Yeah.
- [61:37]
A
And then there was one person that I was with that. Well, I'm just gonna say it was like my first of everything. So then it was just like butterflies all the time.
- [61:49]
B
Yeah.
- [61:49]
A
You know what I mean?
- [61:51]
B
Yeah. But sometimes relationships turn toxic and then those butterflies turn toxic. And we don't let butter toxic butterflies stay. We kick those to the curb.
- [61:59]
A
Wait, what is a toxic butterfly?
- [62:01]
B
Because like toxic butterflies are like when you feel. It's like it's con. Like really like an anxious. Like a toxic anxious. It's not butterflies. Like you're not in, like when you're nervous about what they're doing or like this jealousy sometimes when, I don't know, like you've never been in a. You've been in a toxic relationship. Like when you get that like overwhelming feeling.
- [62:24]
A
Becky, you know I have.
- [62:26]
B
Yeah, I know. So like, that's like toxic butterflies, I would say.
- [62:33]
A
Okay, but how do you identify those when you're in a thick of it for people who are listening. Not necessarily just for me.
- [62:41]
B
I mean, is your partner a good person? You're gonna know if they're a good person or not. Like, you know, like, you can be lying to yourself, trying to convince you that they're not. Would you. Would you be disappointed if someone told you that they were. That you remind them of your partner? If your son reminded them of your partner?
- [63:03]
A
Right.
- [63:03]
B
Like, if you're a man, like, does that feel like a compliment? If someone came up to me and said, if I did something, they were like, oh, my God, like, that's something Leah would do or that reminded me of Leah, that's, like, the biggest compliment there is. Like, Leah's, like, the. One of the best people in the world. So, like, if you're with a bad person, you're gonna. You know it. You're just hiding it in the back of your mind.
- [63:28]
A
You feel like other people can judge from an outside perspective and be like, no, that person is with a bad person, but the person that's with that person doesn't see what the other people see.
- [63:41]
B
You know, I think it's like, like, blind ignorance of. Because I've been with bad people, and, like, I've been in. I've been in toxic relationships as well. And I think that the, like, lust and, like, toxicity of it just kind of take over. So while I think of outside people can see how bad it is, I think the person in it, like, at some deep core of them, also know how bad it is. Like, they might not understand. My. My thing is, my biggest sadness comes from when people have never experienced a healthy relationship. So they don't even know what that looks like. So they settle for relationships that aren't healthy because either they've never seen healthy relationships around them, whether that's their parents or relatives or siblings or friends, or they've just never experienced healthy love before.
- [64:34]
A
I read something not too terribly long ago, and it was about relationships, and it said a lot of people get in a bad habit of continuing to get in unhealthy relationships because it's what feels familiar to them for sure.
- [64:46]
B
Yeah. Because chaos is familiar familiarity for a lot of people. Right. Like, healthy relationships feel boring to those that are just used to chaos.
- [64:55]
A
Right.
- [64:55]
B
And, like, unhealthy relationships are chaos. Like, it's constant chaos.
- [65:02]
A
I was just talking to somebody else who is, like, a little bit chaotic. Like, me too. Yeah. Wait, remember when you were texting Kayla and I the other day and you told us about your guest on your podcast.
- [65:14]
B
Yeah.
- [65:15]
A
And they told you that they listened to Coffee Combos when they were giving birth.
- [65:19]
B
Yeah. When they were getting a C section.
- [65:21]
A
Because it was.
- [65:24]
B
It was familiar. It was familiar to them. Yeah.
- [65:26]
A
And what was your response to us?
- [65:28]
B
I was like, they are the most chaotic people in this place. World. Like, that's insane. I can't even fathom that that was your choice for, like, a calm. Like, needing to be calm during a C section.
- [65:41]
A
Could you imagine just like a mom going in for the most important or like, one of the most important days of her life.
- [65:48]
B
Yeah.
- [65:49]
A
And pulls out that MP3 player and is like, yeah, I'm about to listen to Coffee Combos podcast.
- [65:55]
B
Like, you know, an MP3 player, not just their phone.
- [66:01]
A
Don't know why I said that.
- [66:04]
B
That's wild.
- [66:05]
A
But I know somebody else who is, like, as chaotic, if not more chaotic than me. And I think a lot of times me and that other person don't know how to deal without some dysfunction, you know, for sure.
- [66:21]
B
You grew up in chaos too, so.
- [66:23]
A
Like, it doesn't have to be, like, fully dysfunctional. Like, your whole life doesn't have to be dysfunctional, but it's like. Like there's got to be at least one up a day.
- [66:31]
B
Yeah. Like, I. I do not live in that world. Like, I don't live in chaos at all, really.
- [66:40]
A
Like, my whole group chat with my ex husband and Jackson is just like a chaotic mess. It's like everybody arguing, but like, nobody really meaning what they're saying in the group chat. And it's like, can I leave this? Wait, I can't. I created it like this.
- [66:56]
B
I built this brick by brick. Like, this is the world that I made for myself.
- [67:03]
A
Wait, how did you know that? At what point of our friendship did you know that I was a chaotic person?
- [67:10]
B
I probably knew before our friendship. I didn't. I didn't know if we would get along.
- [67:16]
A
You didn't?
- [67:17]
B
No.
- [67:18]
A
You thought you were.
- [67:20]
B
No, no, no. I didn't know if that you would vibe with me. I'm like a. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, you know? And I know that. And, like, also you being like, a Southern girly. Like, I'm like, a loud, proud homosexual and, like, never know what the vibe's gonna be there.
- [67:41]
A
Yeah.
- [67:42]
B
Like, I could be scary. I could be intimidating sometimes.
- [67:45]
A
I mean, Becky, I just don't get those vibes. Like, when I have been around you, it's just laughing the entire time.
- [67:53]
B
Literally.
- [67:55]
A
When I first met You. The first time we ever met in Chattanooga.
- [67:59]
B
Yeah.
- [68:00]
A
And we just sat on the couch and we're giggling the whole time.
- [68:03]
B
We had so much fun.
- [68:05]
A
It was so fun. And I really want to do another one of those trips. I think it would be really fun. I think bamboozling kale with the Broncos would be fantastic. Showing up in the same outfits would be great.
- [68:16]
B
Yeah, we could just do it at the content house in Delaware to make kale feel better.
- [68:21]
A
But wait, we've got to make so many reels of us just, like, pulling up on those broncos.
- [68:26]
B
Like, if anyone listening has, like, access to vintage broncos, let us know.
- [68:32]
A
Please do. Let us know. Okay. Well, unfortunately, Becky, for me and for you, I've got to go to Pilates. Know that that's not your cup of tea. But it is mine.
- [68:43]
B
Well, I hope you get that body sculpted in the ways that you wish.
- [68:47]
A
I gotta go stretch it out, honey. Please tell everybody where they can find you.
- [68:52]
B
You guys can find me on all social media platforms at Hayter H A Y T E R25 and then also Karma and Chaos. You can find and listen to and for the Haters is my solo podcast that's both very different vibes, but very, very different. I also do a blog, becky hater.com I. I am pretty open about my life and I like to make sure that I help others through struggles that I've been through. So beckyhater.com you can find me there.
- [69:24]
A
Well, you are so loved, Becky. Thanks so much for joining me. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app, wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast one. We hope you guys have have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.
- [69:42]
B
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- [69:46]
A
This is the mindset. Mindset. With movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 50 first dates, this is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free.
- [70:02]
B
Huzzah. Pluto TV stream now pay. Never. You're welcome.
- [70:08]
A
Hi, I'm Stassi Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates.
- [70:13]
B
From my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives, give commentary on.
- [70:19]
A
The latest pop culture headlines, and sometimes.
- [70:22]
B
Deep dive into random top topics. I'm obsessed with, like, human design.
- [70:27]
A
It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it. And you will too. Listen to my podcast, Stassi, wherever you get your podcasts.