On Episode 10 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Emily O'Brien, a surviving sibling, who shares the story of losing her brother Pete to a rare and devastating case of encephalitis that developed from what initially seemed like a simple ear infection.

Emily takes us back to her childhood growing up in Michigan with her only sibling, Pete. Just 28 months apart, the two shared a bond that went far beyond a typical brother-sister relationship. They were inseparable throughout childhood, growing up side by side, sharing friends, adventures, milestones, and a connection they both described as being soulmates.

As children, Emily was known as Pete's little sister—but she was also adopted by his entire friend group as their little sister too. Whether they were together constantly or navigating the occasional sibling disagreements that come with growing up, there was never any question about the depth of their connection. As they entered adulthood, that bond only grew stronger.

Pete was the kind of person people gravitated toward.

A bartender and server by trade, he had a rare ability to make anyone feel important. Whether you knew him for twenty years or twenty minutes, Pete had a way of making people feel seen, heard, and valued. His charisma, kindness, and genuine interest in others left a lasting impact on nearly everyone he met. Then, in March 2020, everything changed.

As the world was beginning to shut down due to COVID-19, Pete developed what seemed like a routine ear infection. Because he lacked health insurance and was already carrying significant medical debt from a previous surgery, he delayed seeking treatment.

What no one could have known was that the infection was quietly becoming something far more serious. Within hours, the infection spread from his ear into the bones of his inner ear, eventually reaching his brain stem and causing encephalitis—a severe inflammation of the brain. By the time Pete arrived at the hospital, his body was already in sepsis.

The next morning, she was receiving calls that would change her life forever.

Emily shares the shock of learning that Pete had no measurable brain activity, the surreal experience of spending four days in the hospital during the earliest days of COVID, and the emotional complexity of navigating organ donation while trying to comprehend what had happened.

As family, friends, coworkers, and complete strangers poured into the hospital to share stories about Pete, Emily began to understand just how many lives her brother had touched. Yet despite the outpouring of love, Emily found herself stepping into a role many surviving siblings know all too well: becoming the one who holds everyone else together. She opens up about spending years carrying the weight of everyone else's grief while neglecting her own, throwing herself into creating a nonprofit in Pete's honor, raising a young child, working through the pandemic, and doing everything possible to avoid fully feeling the depth of her loss.

What followed was a period she describes as becoming "the walking dead"—going through the motions of life while feeling emotionally disconnected from everything around her.

This episode explores sibling soulmates, anticipatory grief, organ donation, complicated family dynamics, spiritual connection after loss, and the reality that healing doesn't mean leaving your sibling behind—it means learning how to carry them forward.

Most of all, it's a reminder that even after unimaginable loss, it is still possible to choose life.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Emily + Remembering Pete Emily introduces her relationship with her older brother and the soulmate-like bond they shared throughout their lives.

(0:02:00) – Growing Up Inseparable Childhood memories, shared friendships, and being known as "Pete's little sister."

(0:04:00) – A Bond That Strengthened With Age How distance during college ultimately deepened their connection.

(0:05:00) – Moving to Florida Together Emily helps Pete leave behind a difficult chapter and start fresh near family.

(0:13:00) – Who Pete Was Remembering Pete's charisma, kindness, and ability to connect with anyone he met.

(0:15:00) – Substance Use + Struggles Behind the Scenes The challenges Pete faced while still showing the world his bright personality.

(0:20:00) – The Beginning of COVID The final conversation Emily had with Pete during the first days of the pandemic.

(0:23:00) – The Phone Calls Learning Pete had been rushed to the hospital and trying to understand what was happening.

(0:29:00) – A Rare Medical Emergency How a simple ear infection turned into encephalitis and severe brain swelling.

(0:31:00) – From Ear Infection to Brain Death The shocking reality of how quickly Pete's condition deteriorated.

(0:36:00) – Organ Donation During COVID Navigating hospital restrictions, waiting periods, and Pete's life-saving gift to others.

(0:39:00) – The Stories People Shared Hearing from friends, coworkers, and strangers whose lives Pete impacted.

(0:44:00) – Living As "The Walking Dead" Years of emotional numbness, survival mode, and delayed grief.

(0:47:00) – Dreams, Signs, and Spiritual Connection How Emily's ongoing relationship with Pete helped guide her healing.

(0:50:00) – Choosing Life Again Therapy, transformation, and rebuilding a life that felt authentic after loss.

(0:56:00) – Advice for Newly Bereaved Siblings Why it's okay not to be okay—and why finding people who truly understand matters.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®.

Connect with Emily:

Email: obrien.emily.b@gmail.com

Connect with Maya:

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/
Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast
Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod
Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com
Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast
YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast