The Surviving Siblings®

Sarah Loses Joel To A Motorcycle Accident

On Episode 9 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Sarah, a surviving sibling, who shares the story of losing her older brother Joel in a tragic motorcycle accident after years of struggling with mental health, addiction, and life on the edge. Sarah takes us back to her childhood growing up in Kingston, Washington, a small town surrounded by nature, ferries, dirt bikes, and the kind of freedom that defined a typical '90s childhood. Joel was two years older than her, and from the very beginning, she was chasing after him—rollerblading behind the bikes, following him into adventures, and looking up to the older brother who always seemed fearless. Their childhood was full of camping trips, exploring the Pacific Northwest, and spending long days outside together. Joel loved BMX riding, dirt bikes, and adrenaline-fueled hobbies that would continue shaping much of his life into adulthood. But as they entered their teenage years, everything shifted. After their parents' divorce, the family dynamic completely fractured. Sarah moved to Virginia with their mother while Joel returned to Washington with their father. What followed was nearly a decade of separation during some of the most formative years of their lives. During that time, Joel began struggling deeply. What started as partying and rebellion in middle school quickly escalated into legal trouble, drug use, instability, and involvement with the juvenile justice system. By 16, Joel had become a father himself—growing up far too quickly while still trying to survive his own pain. Sarah shares what it was like watching her brother's life unfold from across the country—feeling disconnected, worried, and unable to fully understand the depth of what he was carrying at such a young age. When Sarah eventually moved back to Washington as a teenager, their relationship transformed. Without years of typical sibling rivalry, they found themselves reconnecting more as friends than anything else. Joel welcomed her into his world, introducing her to the friends who would later become lifelong connections for her too. Years later, after Sarah returned to Washington again to start a family of her own, she and Joel finally got back the time they had missed. Holidays, barbecues, late-night conversations, and everyday moments slowly rebuilt the sibling bond they had always wanted. And then, in March 2022, everything changed. Sarah opens up about the loneliness that came after Joel's death—the lack of parental support, the confusion of grieving differently than the people around her, and the overwhelming responsibility of organizing Joel's cremation and memorial almost entirely on her own. From writing the obituary and creating the memorial slideshow to officiating his service herself, Sarah carried the emotional and logistical weight of honoring Joel while barely holding herself together. She also shares the darker realities of grief that many surviving siblings quietly experience: depression, isolation, suicidal ideation, anger, and the deep ache of feeling abandoned not only by loss… but by the people who are supposed to help carry it with you. As the conversation unfolds, Sarah reflects on what ultimately helped her begin healing—finding the right therapist, joining the Surviving Siblings community, and realizing she no longer had to carry her grief entirely alone. One of the most powerful moments of the episode comes as Sarah shares how, four years after Joel's death, she finally honored him in the way she had always wanted to. Through a memorial ferry release in Washington State, surrounded by family and flowers, she released Joel's ashes into the water during a quiet sunrise ceremony that brought both grief and peace together in the same moment. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Sarah + Remembering Joel Sarah shares her childhood growing up with her older brother in Washington State and their adventurous '90s upbringing. (0:03:00) – Divorce + Family Separation How their parents' divorce split the family apart and separated the siblings for nearly a decade. (0:05:00) – Early Trouble + Addiction Joel's struggles with rebellion, legal trouble, and substance use beginning in middle school. (0:06:00) – Becoming a Father at 16 How Joel's life changed dramatically after becoming a teenage parent. (0:10:00) – Reconnecting as Adults Sarah moves back to Washington and finally begins rebuilding a close relationship with Joel. (0:15:00) – Becoming Family Again How holidays, barbecues, and everyday moments helped them reconnect after years apart. (0:20:00) – The Day Everything Changed Sarah receives the phone call that Joel had died in a motorcycle accident. (0:21:00) – The Motorcycle Crash What happened during the police pursuit on Interstate 5 and the tragic collision that ended Joel's life. (0:26:00) – Not Seeing Him + Delayed Goodbye The emotional reality of not viewing Joel's body and waiting weeks for his cremation process. (0:31:00) – Planning the Funeral Alone How Sarah organized Joel's cremation and memorial service while grieving deeply herself. (0:43:00) – Finding Support Through Community How therapy and the Surviving Siblings community became part of Sarah's healing journey. (0:48:00) – Releasing Joel's Ashes The emotional ferry memorial ceremony that helped Sarah finally honor her brother in the way she always envisioned. (0:52:00) – Final Reflections on Grief + Survival Why grief is cyclical, why their story continues through us, and the importance of asking for help. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Sarah: Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/Mompadthai1 Email: sarahraynor31@gmail.com Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Val Loses Andreas To A Skateboarding Accident

3w ago00:51:41Tap to summarize

On Episode 8 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Val Lentini, a surviving sibling, who shares the story of losing her brother Andreas—"Andy"—to a tragic skateboarding accident just weeks after one of the most meaningful milestones they shared together. Val takes us back to her childhood growing up with her only sibling, her younger brother Andy. Just two years apart, they spent nearly every stage of life side by side—attending the same schools, sharing activities, and building a bond rooted in both friendship and family. From basement hangouts and childhood games to navigating life milestones together, Andy wasn't just her brother—he was part of nearly every memory she holds from growing up. Their relationship was filled with the kind of closeness that comes from shared experiences, and even as life shifted into adulthood, that connection remained. Just as life was opening up into a new chapter, everything changed. Andy was out longboarding—something he loved and did often. A seemingly normal moment turned tragic when he fell and suffered a severe brain injury. What followed was a rapid and devastating series of events—hospitalization, life support, and ultimately, the unthinkable decision to say goodbye. Val shares the shock of receiving the call, the urgency of rushing to the hospital, and the surreal experience of hearing medical terminology that didn't match what felt like a "simple fall." She opens up about the confusion, the unanswered questions, and the emotional weight of being in a position where decisions had to be made quickly, without time to process what was happening. She also reflects on the moments that followed—walking out of the hospital without her brother, navigating the immediate aftermath, and the strange, disorienting reality of life continuing while everything felt completely changed. From eating at a fast-food restaurant just hours after losing him, to returning to clinical rotations and stepping back into "normal life" far too quickly, Val shares the layers of shock, survival, and delayed grief that followed Andy's passing. As the conversation unfolds, Val speaks to the deeper layers of grief—the loss of identity, the process of becoming someone new, and the reality that grief doesn't just take a person—it reshapes your entire life. This episode is a reminder that while we may never fully "heal" from losing a sibling. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Val + Remembering Andreas ("Andy") Val introduces her relationship with her younger brother and their deeply connected upbringing. (0:02:00) – Growing Up Side by Side Sharing schools, activities, and nearly every stage of life together. (0:06:00) – College + Staying Connected Navigating time apart and the meaningful experience of attending the same university. (0:17:00) – The Day Everything Changed The longboarding accident and the sudden shift into crisis. (0:20:00) – Hospital + Medical Reality Processing complex injuries, brain trauma, and the reality of the situation. (0:22:00) – Saying Goodbye Navigating life support, brain death, and the unimaginable decision. (0:33:00) – Walking Out of the Hospital The surreal experience of leaving without him and facing the outside world. (0:37:00) – Life Continues Too Fast Returning to clinical rotations, career transitions, and suppressed grief. (0:40:00) – Losing Yourself + Becoming Someone New How grief reshapes identity and forces personal transformation. (0:43:00) – Carrying Andy Forward Adopting his mindset and keeping his presence alive in everyday life. (0:47:00) – Sitting With Others in Grief Why presence matters more than words—and how to support someone grieving. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Val: Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valerielentine22 Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Kara Loses Brandon To Emphysema

May 600:53:41Tap to summarize

On Episode 7 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Kara Leigh, a surviving sibling, who shares the story of losing her brother Brandon after a long battle with addiction—and the unexpected reality of learning his official cause of death was emphysema. Kara takes us back to her childhood growing up in a family of three siblings, where Brandon was her older brother and she fell right in the middle. Their early years were filled with opportunity, family vacations, and a life that, on the outside, looked stable and full. But underneath it all…there were early signs of something deeper. Brandon began using substances at a very young age—long before the family fully understood what they were facing. What started as experimentation quickly escalated into addiction, creating tension, instability, and emotional strain within the household. Kara shares what it was like growing up alongside addiction—navigating fear, unpredictability, and the weight of trying to protect both herself and her family. From cleaning up messes to stepping into a role of responsibility far too young, her childhood and teenage years were shaped by survival as much as they were by love. As they moved into adulthood, their relationship became a cycle many siblings of addiction understand deeply: connection… distance… hope… heartbreak. In January 2022, Kara's life changed forever. She didn't receive a phone call from family. She didn't hear it from authorities. She found out her brother had died… through Facebook. What followed was chaos, confusion, and a desperate search for answers—trying to piece together what had happened, where Brandon was, and why no one had contacted the family directly. The initial assumption was what many feared: overdose. But nearly a year later, after waiting for the autopsy results, Kara learned something unexpected. Brandon's official cause of death was emphysema—not overdose—despite substances being present in his system. This revelation brought a different kind of grief. A different kind of processing. And a deeper reflection on how addiction had impacted his life… without being the final cause. Kara opens up about the complexity of losing a sibling to addiction—the guilt, the boundaries, the "what if" questions—and what it means to love someone deeply while also protecting yourself. She shares her journey through therapy, writing, and healing… including beginning a book to honor Brandon not just for his struggles, but for who he truly was as a person. This episode also explores the emotional weight of reading an autopsy report, the reality of delayed answers, and the layers of grief that come with unexpected twists in loss. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Kara + Remembering Brandon Kara introduces her family dynamic, growing up with her older brother and younger sister. (0:02:00) – Early Addiction + Family Impact How Brandon's substance use began young and quickly affected the entire household. (0:05:00) – Growing Up Around Instability Navigating fear, tension, and survival in a home impacted by addiction. (0:07:00) – Taking on Responsibility Too Young Kara reflects on stepping into a caretaker role and protecting herself. (0:10:00) – Adulthood + Cycles of Addiction The ongoing pattern of hope, relapse, and trying to maintain boundaries. (0:15:00) – The Complexity of Loving an Addicted Sibling Balancing tough love, boundaries, and deep care. (0:24:00) – The Night Everything Changed Kara shares the moment she learned of Brandon's death—through Facebook. (0:30:00) – Waiting for the Autopsy The emotional toll of waiting nearly a year for official answers. (0:33:00) – The Truth About Brandon's Death Learning his cause of death was emphysema—not overdose—and what that meant. (0:42:00) – Remembering the Whole Person Why it's important to honor both the struggles and the goodness of someone's life. (0:48:00) – Grief Isn't Linear Breaking down myths around grief and what it really looks like over time. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Kara: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karafitzluss?igsh=OHI2dXB5dXhqZmlj Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/14NS2Hpn4no/ Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@karaleighlussier?_r=1&_t=ZS-91tnLBADBDe Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Teri Loses Joey To Marfan Syndrome

Apr 2200:54:02Tap to summarize

On Episode 6 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Teri Gosselin, a surviving sibling, speaker, and grief advocate, who shares the story of losing her brother Joey to complications related to Marfan Syndrome—and how that loss forever intertwined grief, love, family, and purpose in her life. Teri takes us back to her childhood growing up just outside of Washington, DC, where she was the oldest of three. From the moment Joey was born, she stepped into the role of protector, advocate, and "sissy"—completely devoted to her little brother. Their family life was full of connection, neighborhood friendships, and what felt like a normal, loving upbringing. But early on, their story took a different path. When Joey was just a toddler, subtle signs led to a life-changing diagnosis: Marfan Syndrome, a rare genetic connective tissue disorder that would go on to impact not only Joey, but their father and sister as well. Teri shares what it was like growing up in a family navigating a condition few people understood at the time—doctor visits, unknowns, and the quiet weight of knowing that life could look different for the people she loved most. Still, Joey was more than his diagnosis. He was tall, eventually reaching seven feet, funny, annoying in all the "little brother" ways, and someone Teri grew closer to as they entered adulthood. Just as their relationship was deepening into something new, everything changed. In May 2008, Joey died suddenly in his sleep at just 22 years old. The loss was completely unexpected. And even more complicated… it happened just three weeks before Teri's wedding. Teri shares the unimaginable reality of those weeks—receiving the phone call at work, the shock of not being able to reach her family, and the moment her father told her Joey was gone. She walks us through the early days of grief layered with urgency, milestones, and pressure to move forward, including planning a wedding while mourning her brother. She opens up about walking down the same aisle where she had just walked behind Joey's casket… now as a bride. About honoring him in quiet, meaningful ways. About holding grief and joy in the same space. And about how that experience reshaped everything she thought she knew about life. This episode also brings powerful awareness to Marfan Syndrome—what it is, how it impacts the body, and why education and early diagnosis matter. As the conversation unfolds, Teri shares how her relationship with Joey didn't end—it transformed. Through healing, spirituality, and time, she's come to understand grief and joy as deeply connected experiences, not separate ones. This episode is a reminder that loss doesn't just break us—it can deepen us. That grief and joy can exist together. And that love doesn't end… even when life does. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Teri + Remembering Joey Teri introduces her family, her role as the oldest sibling, and her deep bond with her brother Joey. (0:02:00) – Growing Up + Early Signs of Marfan Syndrome How Joey's diagnosis came to light and how it impacted the entire family. (0:05:00) – A Family Diagnosis Learning that her father and sister also had Marfan Syndrome—and navigating the unknowns together. (0:08:00) – The "Strong One" Role How Teri stepped into being the protector and advocate within her family. (0:09:30) – Adulthood + Deepening the Sibling Bond Moving beyond childhood dynamics and beginning to build a closer adult relationship. (0:15:00) – The Day Everything Changed The phone call, the unanswered calls, and the moment Teri learned Joey had died. (0:18:00) – Sudden Loss + Searching for Answers Understanding Joey's passing and the connection to Marfan Syndrome. (0:20:00) – Grief + Wedding Intertwined Navigating loss just three weeks before her wedding—and the pressure to move forward. (0:23:00) – Honoring Joey Meaningful ways Teri included her brother in her wedding day. (0:25:00) – Walking the Same Aisle The emotional weight of walking down the same aisle as both a grieving sister and a bride. (0:28:00) – Grief + Joy Coexisting How loss reshaped her perspective and deepened her understanding of life. (0:30:00) – Spiritual Connection + Signs How Teri experiences connection with Joey today, including meaningful signs and moments. (0:40:00) – Family Dynamics After Loss How grief impacted her relationship with her sister and family—and what helped them stay close. (0:50:00) – Being "The Strong One" What it really means—and how to release the pressure while still showing up with strength. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Teri: Website: https://www.soulglowandalchemy.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulglowandalchemy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teri.m.gosselin Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Heather Loses Garrett To Accidental Overdose

Apr 800:59:24Tap to summarize

On Episode 5 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Dr. Heather Taylor, a surviving sibling, therapist, and grief advocate, who shares the story of losing her brother, Garrett, to an accidental overdose, and how that loss completely reshaped her life, her career, and her mission in the grief space. Heather takes us back to her childhood growing up in a small town in Washington State, where she and her younger brother Garrett were raised surrounded by nature, imagination, and a deep sibling bond. They were each other's constant—playing outside, competing in sports, and later maintaining a close relationship into adulthood through what she lovingly calls their "sibling dates." Garrett was her biggest champion, the voice that reminded her who she was when she doubted herself. That bond makes what happened next even more devastating. In November 2009, just one month after a meaningful late-night conversation where Heather reminded Garrett she would love him no matter what, her world shattered. Garrett died suddenly from an accidental overdose after unknowingly taking methadone in combination with other substances. The loss was shocking, confusing, and layered with complicated emotions, especially as the family tried to make sense of what had happened in real time. Heather shares the raw early days of grief—the shock, the numbness, the need to "do something" (even if that meant cutting out holiday apron patterns just to keep moving), and the surreal experience of planning a memorial while still trying to process the reality that her brother was gone. What followed was years of unprocessed grief, anger, and searching for support that didn't exist in the way she needed. After multiple frustrating experiences trying to find a therapist who truly understood grief, Heather made a life-changing decision: she would become the therapist she couldn't find. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief is not something to "get over," but something to live with, integrate, and carry forward—and that healing happens not by rushing the process, but by allowing grief to take up space in our lives. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Heather + Remembering Garrett Heather shares her childhood, growing up close with her younger brother, and the deep bond they carried into adulthood. (0:02:30) – Growing Up in Nature + A Strong Sibling Bond From building forts in the woods to sibling dates in college, Heather reflects on their connection and Garrett's role as her biggest supporter. (0:08:30) – The Conversation A late-night moment one month before Garrett's death becomes a memory Heather carries with her forever. (0:10:00) – The Day Everything Changed Heather describes the moment her parents showed up at her office and how she learned Garrett had died unexpectedly. (0:13:00) – Understanding What Happened The family learns Garrett died from an accidental overdose, adding layers of confusion, anger, and heartbreak. (0:16:00) – Shock, Numbness, and "Doing Something" Heather shares how early grief felt—and why simple tasks like making aprons became a way to cope. (0:20:00) – The Memorial + Early Grief Reactions Planning Garrett's service, wanting more photos, and navigating overwhelming emotions. (0:22:00) – Finding a "Grief Buddy" Heather reflects on how connecting with someone else grieving helped her feel less alone. (0:31:00) – The Importance of Finding the Right Therapist Why connection matters more than credentials—and how to know when it's not the right fit. (0:36:00) – Grief as the "New Normal" Heather shares how she built her practice and podcast around redefining grief as something we integrate, not overcome. (0:43:00) – Grief vs. Trauma Why not everything needs to be labeled as trauma—and how grief deserves its own space. (0:47:00) – The "Grief Cyclone" Explained Heather introduces her powerful metaphor for how grief moves over time—not in stages, but in cycles. (0:51:00) – Final Advice for the Newly Bereaved Why grief gets to take up space, why there's no timeline, and how to move at your own pace. This episode is sponsored by Grief Is The New Normal Connect with Heather: Website: https://clinicians.griefisthenewnormal.com/homepage Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Grief-is-the-New-Normal-Psychological-Services/61555887374241/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grief_is_the_new_normal/ Youtube: http://youtube.com/@Grief_Is_The_New_Normal TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@grief.is.the.new.normal Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Erica Loses TJ To A Car Accident

Mar 2500:47:14Tap to summarize

On Episode 4 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Erica Bohn, a surviving sibling who shares the story of losing her brother, TJ, in a car accident over 30 years ago, and how that loss shaped her life, her healing, and ultimately her path into helping others. Erica takes us back to her childhood growing up in a close-knit Midwestern family. Both she and her brother TJ were adopted as babies, raised in what she describes as a loving, "perfect" family, until one summer night in 1995 changed everything. TJ, just weeks away from starting his senior year of high school, left for a party and never came home. In a heartbreaking twist, Erica's father—who never missed work—left early that night with a bad feeling, took a different route home, and was the one who found TJ after the accident. What followed for Erica at just 14 years old was shock, trauma, and a blur of grief, surrounded by a community that showed up in full force, but without the tools to help her process what had happened. Erica shares how her grief went largely unprocessed for years, leading to difficult choices in her teens and twenties, and how it wasn't until later in life, after becoming a mother that she sought therapy and began to truly heal. Today, as a social worker, Erica channels her experience into supporting others, carrying her brother's legacy forward through compassion and connection. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief doesn't have a timeline, healing isn't linear, and the people who simply sit with us in our darkest moments can change everything. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Erica + Remembering TJ Erica introduces her story, her bond with TJ, and their unique family dynamic as adopted siblings. (0:02:00) – A Big Brother, A Big Personality Erica shares what TJ was like growing up—funny, outgoing, athletic, and loved by everyone. (0:04:00) – The Night Everything Changed A summer day with family turns into tragedy after TJ leaves for a party and never returns. (0:05:30) – A Father's Instinct Erica recounts how her dad left work early with a bad feeling and found TJ at the accident scene. (0:10:00) – Finding Out: "He's Dead" Erica describes waking up to her mother's screams and the traumatic moment she learned her brother was gone. (0:11:30) – A High School Funeral + Community Support The overwhelming turnout at TJ's funeral and the role her friends played in simply sitting with her through the pain. (0:15:00) – Understanding the Accident What Erica later learned about the crash, and the unanswered questions that remained. (0:19:00) – Life After Loss at 14 How grief showed up in Erica's teenage years—through risk-taking, avoidance, and unprocessed trauma. (0:22:00) – Healing Later in Life Erica shares how becoming a mother led her to therapy and a deeper commitment to healing. (0:24:00) – Finding the Right Therapist Why connection matters in therapy—and how to know when you've found the right fit. (0:27:00) – A Career Rooted in Compassion How Erica's life experiences led her into social work and supporting others through difficult circumstances. (0:33:00) – Family Bonds After Loss How grief brought Erica and her parents closer—and what it looked like to grow together instead of apart. (0:38:00) – Parenting After Loss Erica shares the fears and realities of raising teenage drivers after losing her brother in a car accident. (0:41:00) – Advice for the Newly Bereaved Why there's no "right" way to grieve—and the importance of support, presence, and compassion. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Erica: Website: https://www.mykeeper.com/TrevisTJHeiman TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imjustericadawn?_r=1&_t=ZT-93IVy2FLBoz Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Gyani Loses Pete To Cancer

Mar 1100:50:35Tap to summarize

On Episode 3 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Gyani, a surviving sibling and grief professional, who shares the story of losing his brother, Pete, to cancer, and how earlier loss in his life shaped the path he walks today. Gyani takes us back to his first encounter with grief at 13, when his father died of cancer. Raised in what he describes as a "Leave It to Beaver" style family. Mom, dad, and five boys—he reflects on how grief rippled through their family system like a bomb, in a time when there were few tools or conversations available to help a young boy process loss. A few years later, Gyani found his way into meditation, yoga, and wisdom traditions, an unexpected but life-changing shift that became a foundation for everything that followed. Decades later, after building a career in counseling and the corporate world, Gyani felt an internal nudge that it was time for a new chapter. Then came a loss that re-opened the "great beast of grief" in a fresh way: the death of his baby brother, Pete. Gyani shares how Pete's cancer moved fast—from a melanoma diagnosis to death within roughly a year—and how helplessness, family dynamics, and the inability to "make people come to the grief table" became part of his grieving process. This conversation is a powerful reminder that grief is not a problem to solve, but an experience that asks to be witnessed—by others, and by ourselves—with compassion, patience, and attention. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Gyani + The Loss That Started It All Gyani introduces himself, shares that he works in the grief space, and reflects on losing his father to cancer at age 13. (0:01:30) – Growing Up in a Family of Five Boys Gyani describes his family system, his place as the fourth of five brothers, and how grief impacted their "sports team" dynamic. (0:03:30) – A Teenager Finds Meditation + Meaning Gyani shares how he found meditation, yoga, and wisdom traditions in high school—seeking something "deathless" after losing his dad. (0:06:00) – Grief Doesn't Come With a Manual Maya and Gyani discuss how grief shapes you early, how people cope differently, and why many families lack the tools to process loss. (0:10:00) – How Gyani Entered the Grief Space Professionally Gyani explains how his meditation practice and counseling training eventually converged—after years in the corporate world—into grief-focused work. (0:12:30) – Asking "What's Next?" + Listening for the Answer Gyani shares his transition season, spending time in nature and intentionally seeking clarity for his next chapter. (0:24:30) – Pete: "It's Powerful to Say His Name" Gyani introduces his brother Pete, their bond, growing up together, and why Pete was his "rock." (0:26:00) – From Melanoma to Loss: A Fast Cancer Journey Gyani walks through Pete's diagnosis, how quickly it spread, and the shock of losing a healthy, vibrant brother. (0:28:30) – Helplessness, Anger, and the Storm of Grief Gyani reflects on the layers of grief—including the raw helplessness that remains when you realize you can't change the outcome. (0:30:00) – Family Dynamics: You Can't Drag People to the Grief Table Gyani and Maya discuss how differently siblings and families grieve—and the pain of wanting connection when others shut down. (0:35:30) – Community as Medicine: Why Grief Must Be Witnessed Gyani shares why grief + isolation is a "double whammy," and how community helps thaw shame and soften the nervous system. (0:43:30) – What Gyani's Grief Work Looks Like Today He shares how mindfulness-informed grief counseling helps people gently lean into grief, including working with the body ("issues are in the tissues"). (0:47:30) – A Closing Reminder: Grief Isn't a Problem to Solve Gyani offers a powerful reframe: grief is a sacred opportunity to be embraced—and it changes you into new versions of yourself. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Gyani: Website: https://ourgriefpath.com/ Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Earla Loses Leigh-Ann To Pancreatic Cancer

Feb 2500:50:48Tap to summarize

On Season 9, Episode 2 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Earla Dawn, who shares the story of losing her sister, Leigh-Ann, to pancreatic cancer. Earla takes us back to their childhood on the prairies, four siblings, endless fun, and the kind of relationship that started with "fighting like cats and dogs"… and grew into a deep, lifelong bond. Leigh-Ann was the polished one, the "always put together" sister, a devoted mom, a dog lover, and a woman who reinvented her life, starting over after divorce, and eventually moving across the world to Spain in 2006. Even with an ocean between them, their connection never faded. They learned Skype, relied on phone calls and letters, and stayed emotionally close until a fall visit home revealed something no one was prepared for: a growth on Leigh-Ann's pancreas. What followed was a short, devastating season filled with advocacy, tenderness, quiet courage, and moments of unexpected beauty. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief isn't just about the diagnosis or the timeline it's about the small moments you carry forever: the way you follow your sibling's lead, the calm you create for them, the love in the room, and the way connection can exist even without words. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Earla and Remembering Leigh-Ann Earla shares their family dynamic, childhood memories, and how their relationship evolved over time. (0:01:30) – From the Prairies to Spain: A Sisterhood That Stayed Close Leigh-Ann's big life moves, her reinvention, and how distance didn't break their bond. (0:04:00) – Subtle Symptoms and the Turning Point Leigh-Ann's ongoing stomach issues, declining stamina, and the moment she learned about the pancreatic growth. (0:06:30) – "I Looked It Up Once… and Never Again" Earla reflects on the shock of Dr. Google, the fear that followed, and what she learned about living day-by-day. (0:08:00) – The Worst Day: "It's All Over" An oncologist appointment confirms the terminal diagnosis and Earla shares why not having an exact end date changed everything. (0:09:30) – Following Leigh-Ann's Lead Earla explains how she honored Leigh-Ann's choices, advocated for information, and created a calm, sacred space at home. (0:11:30) – Palliative Support and the Permission of Time The practical support that helped their family breathe and why planning ahead reduced panic later. (0:14:00) – The List for Life (Not a Bucket List) Leigh-Ann's wishes: connection, warmth, marriage, travel and the decision to take a "honeymoon" to Hawaii. (0:17:30) – Love, Humor, and the Moments That Stay Earla shares an unforgettable experience of wordless connection laughing together in the quiet. (0:20:00) – Her Final Days and a Peaceful Death What it looked like, what helped, and why Earla believes we need to talk more honestly about end-of-life moments. (0:22:30) – A Room Full of Love: Ritual, Meditation, and Goodbye Earla guides a meditation after Leigh-Ann's passing and describes the gentle, meaningful way they honored her. (0:26:00) – Grace in Grief: Caring for Yourself While Losing Your Person Earla shares what "giving yourself grace" looked like in real life including rest, boundaries, and self-trust. (0:31:00) – Zines, Creativity, and Finding a Way Forward How small, simple storytelling (zines) became an accessible form of grief processing and a bridge back to hope. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Earla: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sibling.grief.buds/ Earla's Book: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0973216239?ref_=pe_93986420_774957520 Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Stephen Loses Stacy To A Car Accident

Feb 1100:49:41Tap to summarize

On episode 1 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast® host, Maya Roffler is joined by Stephen Stott who opens up about the tragic loss of his sister, Stacy, to a car accident 24 years ago. Stephen was just 16 when his life changed forever. After being "voluntold" to accompany his sister to a cheerleading camp six hours away, he shared a moment of deep personal truth with her the first person he ever came out to as queer. Just days later, on the drive home, they both fell asleep behind the wheel. Stacy didn't survive. Stephen did. What follows is a deeply moving story of grief, identity, movement, and healing. Stephen shares how he turned toward dance, breathwork, and somatic healing not only to honor Stacy's memory but to help others process grief in their own bodies. He also reflects on his decision to found Embrace the Darkness, a platform and resource space that embraces the hard and sacred work of grief, especially for queer siblings and those needing support outside of traditional therapy. This episode is about so much more than loss. It's about grief in the body, safe spaces for queer siblings, and what it means to move with your grief instead of away from it. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Stephen and Remembering Stacy Stephen shares who Stacy was, their sibling bond through movement, and the moment that changed everything. (0:04:00) – Movement as Medicine: Honoring Stacy Through Dance Stephen describes how continuing cheer, gymnastics, and dance helped him stay close to his sister and move through grief. (0:05:00) – Coming Out and Catastrophe: The Last Conversation Stephen tells the powerful story of coming out to his sister just days before the fatal car accident. It was the first time he told anyone he liked boys. (0:06:30) – The Car Accident and Immediate Aftermath He recalls the surreal moment of waking up in the hospital, already knowing deep in his bones that Stacy was gone. (0:08:00) – Back to School, No Time to Grieve Just a week after the accident, Stephen was thrown back into high school, sports, and work using distraction to survive. (0:11:00) – Survivor Guilt, Queer Identity, and Grieving Alone Stephen reflects on how his queer identity shaped his grief and how he struggled to find representation and resources. (0:14:00) – Why Queer Grief Spaces Are Essential Maya and Stephen dive into why queer-specific grief groups matter, and how judgment—even within sibling spaces can create harm. (0:21:00) – The Turning Point at 21: A Grief Conference Shifts Everything Stephen's mother encouraged him to attend a grief conference, where a simple dance skit helped him feel seen and opened a path toward healing. (0:25:00) – Becoming a Social Worker and Healing Through Service Stephen shares how his desire to help others evolved into a career in social work and ultimately into his grief-centered platform. (0:27:00) – Founding Embrace the Darkness He explains why toxic positivity doesn't work, and how this powerful name emerged from his belief that we must sit with the dark to truly heal. (0:43:00) – Parasympathetic Nervous System & Breathwork as Reset Maya and Stephen discuss how breathwork activates the vagus nerve and helps shift the body from chaos to calm. (0:47:00) – The Mission Moving Forward Stephen talks about his workshops, his work with siblings globally, and his dream to bring more somatic healing into the grief world. About Embrace the Darkness Stephen is the founder of Embrace The Darkness, a platform that provides breathwork, sibling grief support, and LGBTQ+-affirming spaces for healing. Stephen is starting a 6-month program and is offering $1,000 off for any surviving sibling. The unspoken path community discount: https://embracethedarkness.org/surviving-siblings-podcast-special This episode is sponsored by Embrace The Darkness Connect with Stephen: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BreathingIntoGrief Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathingintogrief/ Email: Stephen@EmbraceTheDarkness.org Website: https://embracethedarkness.org/ Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

Chelsey McHale Interviews Maya Roffler On Sibling Loss

Dec 1001:15:16Tap to summarize

On episode 10 of season 8 of The Surviving Siblings® Podcast, guest host Chelsey McHale takes over the mic to interview podcast founder and host Maya Roffler in a deeply personal and reflective conversation. With 2026 marking 10 years since the loss of her brother Andreas, Maya opens up about what this milestone means to her, how her grief has evolved, and the legacy her brother continues to leave behind through this powerful community. From the early days of navigating violent loss to founding the podcast, the summit, and a thriving support network, Maya shares what she's learned from interviewing over 70 siblings, including her own personal growth, struggles, healing, and mission. This candid and vulnerable episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stuck in grief, facing complex sibling loss, or wondering how to honor their loved one with grace, authenticity, and community. In This Episode: [00:00–03:00] Anniversary Reflections & Feeling the Weight of Year 10 Maya shares her emotions around approaching the 10-year anniversary of Andreas's death, the pressure that comes with milestones, and the peace she feels from honoring him every day. [03:00–07:00] How Maya Stays Spiritually Connected to Andreas From sunflowers and champagne to nature walks and old episodes of The Office, Maya shares the personal rituals that bring her comfort and connection. [07:00–12:00] Signs From Andreas & Spiritual Moments She talks about powerful signs—from sunflowers in strange places to her dog Bonnie—and the deep belief that our loved ones are always with us. [12:00–17:00] Fear of Forgetting Their Voice Maya addresses a common fear among grieving siblings: "What if I forget what they sounded like?" She discusses how memory, dreams, and digital archives play a role. [32:00–37:00] Holding Onto the Bond Without Feeling Stuck What does it really mean to "move forward" without "moving on"? Maya explains how honoring your sibling is healthy and how to combat the pressure of getting "unstuck." [37:00–43:00] Parent Grief vs. Sibling Grief Maya addresses one of the most asked questions: "How do I grieve when I have to be strong for my parents?" She challenges grief hierarchy and gives permission to prioritize your healing. [43:00–47:00] Does It Get Easier? Maya's Most Frequent Question Her honest answer: yes and no. Maya breaks down why grief evolves, how the pain shifts, and what healing can look like years later. [53:00–58:00] Balancing Your Grief with Your Parents' Pain She dives into the invisible pressure placed on siblings to suppress their grief in favor of their parents—and why that has to change. [58:00–1:03:00] The Surviving Siblings Summit: Goals & Vision Maya gives a behind-the-scenes look at the summit's evolution, why virtual events matter, and the future of this movement—including a possible retreat. [1:03:00–1:12:00] The Power of Community & Friendship in Grief Chelsey and Maya close with reflections on their friendship, the healing power of this community, and why this show exists: to keep sibling stories alive. Listen to the full episode of "Chelsey McHale Interviews Maya Roffler On Sibling Loss" now on all major platforms. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Chelsey: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chelseym07?igsh=enBrZjR5Z29lOGh0 Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chelseymchale?_r=1&_t=ZT-923QkdiG4bd Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Transcribe →

All episodes

Sarah Loses Joel To A Motorcycle Accident

Val Loses Andreas To A Skateboarding Accident

Kara Loses Brandon To Emphysema

Teri Loses Joey To Marfan Syndrome

Heather Loses Garrett To Accidental Overdose

Erica Loses TJ To A Car Accident

Gyani Loses Pete To Cancer

Earla Loses Leigh-Ann To Pancreatic Cancer

Stephen Loses Stacy To A Car Accident

Chelsey McHale Interviews Maya Roffler On Sibling Loss